We Are The Walking Dead
by AngelsandDouchebags
Summary: A girl named after a star has survived by herself for 6 months. Just barely, until she sees an idiot in a tank who saves her life and they both join a group. But she's hiding something, just as she's getting the group to like her they find out her secret. Will Rick still want her to stay? Or will he kick her out? Rated T for swearing, slow-burn romance, starts season 1 [Rick G. OC]
1. Chapter 1 - Hey! Dumbass!

**A/N: New to the walking dead world and I can say its probably one of the best shows I've watched. Slowly catching up, on season 6 now but I thought I'd give a hand at writing a fanfic. I've tried to portray the characterisations as best I can and I'm sticking close to the storyline although I may deviate. I'm not including all the lines from each episode but it's fairly close.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking dead, its affiliated characters or storyline. Only my OC and my plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

The hot Georgia sun was bearing down on my back and I could feel the sweat covering my face. I brushed the sleeve over my face only covering it with more grime and dirt.

My calves began hurting from the crouched position behind the dumpster. I peered over in the direction of the tank where the Walkers were occupied with eating a horse. The duffle bag was just behind the walkers.

 _It could have food! Supplies! I need it. But how do I get to it…_

"Come on Pol, think!" I muttered to myself. Any plan I tried to come up with required a two man job. The walkers began converging around the tank trying to get in. I furrowed my brow, _what's so interesting about that tank._

Okay I need a closer look. I stood up and was suddenly faced with the living dead in all its glory. Peeling grey skin with yellow lifeless eyes and a lust for human flesh. I tried not to gag at the smell of its intestines dragging across the floor behind it. I quickly took out my knife and forced it into the skull pulling it back out.

It dropped to the tarmac with a sickening crunch. I ran over to the other side of the alley to hide behind the other dumpster, so I could get a closer look. I heard rattling above me as the metal staircase began to creak and shake.

"What the-" I looked up at the building above me and saw a rush of feet.

A walker?! I moved into the alleyway slowly trying to look up. A person! Maybe they have a group! I wouldn't have to survive by myself anymore. It was a young Asian guy in baseball cap holding a walkie talkie out began to talk.

"Hey, you. Dumb ass. Hey, you in the tank. Cozy in there?" He drawled sarcastically over the talkie. I snorted and felt my own walkie talkie make static sounds.

"Shit shit!" I exclaimed.

"Come on switch it off," I looked up seeing the Asian man look around down there. Some Walkers began looking in my direction as I crouched down again.

"Oh how have you survived this far," I wondered to myself.

"Hey, are you alive in there?" He asked again into the radio. Maybe I can team up with him, we can get the duffle bag together and split the contents.

But just as I was making a plan I was pushed to the ground and loud sounds of eerie moans were filling my ears. I struggled with the Walker trying to claw at my face before stabbing it with the knife.

"Shit too late!" I swore seeing the horde of Walkers coming towards me. I stood in an attack stance ready for them. If I could just get through them I could make my way up the ladder to the top of the building.

I slashed and moved my knife into different dead bodies but that didn't stop more and more from coming at me. I heard a loud clanging sound on the other side of the street and whipped my head around getting distracted I was tackled by a Walker who was about to bite into my arm.

Suddenly I heard the unmistakable sound of gunshots straight into the Walker latched onto me. A man in a sheriffs outfit ran towards me shooting the walkers surrounding me.

"You alright?" He gripped my shoulder and I noticed his striking blue eyes.

"Yeah, thanks." I snapped out of my thoughts as he led me over to the ladder where the Asian boy was.

"Whoa! Not dead! Come on! Come on! Back here! Come on! Come on!" He put his hands on the man's shoulders then looked over to me.

"Who's this?" He gestured to me as the man was about to explain.

"We don't have time!" I said frustratedly as he nodded and went up the ladder. The man in the Sheriff's uniform let me climb up the ladder and he followed close after as we scrambled up as fast as we could.

"What are you doing?! Come on!" He said wildly down to us as we went even faster. We finally reached the roof of the apartment block out all breathing hard.

"Nice moves there, Clint Eastwood. You the new sheriff come riding in to clean up the town?" The Asian boy mocked as the other man scoffed.

"It wasn't my intention." The other man said, I noticed now that he had a southern drawl. He must be from around here.

"Yeah whatever, Yee Haw you're still a dumbass."

"He saved my life." I defended him causing both men to look at me.

"You saved my life." I stared directly into blue eyes.

"Thank you, Uh?" I prompted him.

"Rick Grimes." He tipped his hat slightly.

"And your welcome." He gave a quick smile and I felt a small pang. _Oh no. Stop it._ I inwardly cursed. Rick was an attractive man no doubt about it, he was a good 10 years older than me but that didn't stop me from liking what I saw. At all.

"Thanks," Rick said to the Asian boy.

"Glenn. You're welcome. Oh no. The bright side: It'll be the fall that kills us. I'm a glass-half-full kind of guy." He smirked.

"You are?" Glenn turned to me.

"Oh Polaris. But you can call me Pol." I explained and he nodded his head.

"I want to thank you for letting me tag along." I said gratefully to Glenn.

"You're not from here are you?" Rick asked forcing me to look at him.

"Uh no, London, England originally." I explained when they finally heard by British accent.

"What are you doing in Georgia?" Glenn said curiously.

"Look I'd rather not tell my life story to people I don't know. No offence." I said uneasily, I'm sure I could trust them but that doesn't mean they need to know all about me.

"Fair enough." Glenn resigned.

"Back at the tank, why'd you stick your neck out for me?" Rick asked Glenn as we started to move across.

"Call it foolish, naive hope that if I'm ever that far up shit creek, somebody might do the same for me. Guess I'm an even bigger dumbass than you." Glenn scoffed.

"I think I like you." I grinned at Glenn who smiled back. I never knew I'd be so happy to be around people again. We followed Glenn across the rooftop keeping low and down another ladder leading to a building. We reached the ground where Walkers were barricading the the door

"Hey it's me," Glenn spoke into the radio, eyes darting towards the door.

"Got a couple of guests. There are 4 geeks by the door." He said. The door swung open squashing a Walker against the wall as two men in protective armour came out with baseball bats to bash the walker brains in.

"Let's go!" Glenn shouted as Rick and I ran after him into the store followed by the two men. I looked inside the building seeing a black haired and blonde haired woman who pointed a gun at us. I held my knife out towards her challenging her.

"You sons of bitches. We ought to kill you." She threatened. Rick looked at me lowering my knife in my hand.

"Back off Andrea." One of the men in the protective helmet said taking it off.

"Why the hell would you wanna do that?" I said angrily. What was wrong with this woman? Didn't she realise having more people would help, a greater chance of survival? Strength in numbers.

"You kidding me right?" She said disbelievingly putting her hands on her hips. I sheathed my knife into my belt and crossed my arms over my chest.

"We're dead because of this stupid asshole." She threw her arm out at Rick still holding the gun towards him. I moved slightly in front of him feeling protective of him for saving my life. To anyone else it must've looked ridiculous. A girl 5"1 standing in front of a guy who was definitely over 6 feet tall.

"Watch it. He didn't realise, he was just trying to help." I said to Andrea putting my hands up.

"Realise what? I don't understand." Rick said behind me. I turned around looking up at him. He was a good head taller than me, most of the people in the room were.

I leaned in lowering my voice.

"The sound of gunfire draws them." Realisation dawned on Rick's face and he looked solemn.

"Every geek for miles around heard you popping off rounds." The other man in the protective gear complained.

"Geeks?" I scoffed slightly causing the man to glare at me.

"Calm down T-dog." The other woman said to him.

"Get the picture now?" The man called Morales said to Rick who stayed silent. We moved through the store silently as I pulled out my knife, not wanting to be ambushed by anymore Walkers. There were dozens of Walkers blocking the double entrance doors to the store and were trying to smash their way in.

"It's not gonna hold much longer." I muttered catching Rick's eye who heard me.

"Oh God." Andrea gasped looking at the Walkers. I looked up at Andrea and realised maybe I judged her too harshly, she was just a woman trying to survive in this post-apocalyptic world. She was just as scared as the rest of us.

"Hey T-Dog, try that radio. Can you contact the others back at the camp?" Morales gestured to the man who began playing around.

"Others?" Rick and I said to the same time.

"You got a group?" I said hopefully as they all looked at each other uneasily.

"No signal." T-Dog complained.

"Try the roof?" I suggested. We all started making our way up before hearing loud gunshots.

"Damn it Dixon!" Andrea said frustrated and ran up the stairs to the door leading to the roof. She heaved it open with my help and we ran out seeing another man laughing maniacally and firing a rifle into the street.

"What the fuck?!" I shouted at the man. Was he trying to get us killed.

"Are you crazy Dixon?" T-Dog shouted at him. The man ignored him and continued shooting.

"Hey man you're going to get us killed." I shoved his shoulder slightly getting his attention.

"Hey, Back of-" he started then stopped. His lips curled up into a predatory smile when he laid his eyes on me.

"Well, well. Where did you find this beauty China?" the man Dixon said to Glenn and began pulling my arm and I shoved him off joining the others who were standing a distance away. I knew his type, inbred white trash thinking they could have anything they want.

"Just relax Merle. We've got enough trouble." Morales said trying to keep the peace.

"I ain't taking orders from you and it'll be hell that freezes over when I take orders from a nigger." He spat out. T-Dog and Merle rolled around on the floor beating and punching each other to a pulp. Merle takes the gun from T-Dog and points it at him.

"Hey no please!" Andrea calls out from next to me.

"Now that means I'm the boss right? Yeah. Anybody else?" He waved the gun around cockily as everyone shrunk back.

"Yeah," Rick said from behind. How did he get there so fast?! He hit Merle over the head with a rusty old pipe and handcuffed him.

"Someone needed to do it." I reached up and patted him on the shoulder in approval. He nodded at me before bending down in front of Merle.

"Look here, things are different. There's us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart." he reasoned with Merle who spat at him.

"What can you do to me?" He challenged him smirking with a bloody face.

"All I am anymore is a man looking for his wife and son. Anybody that gets in the way of that is gonna lose." Rick said determinedly, his jaw clicking into place. I could feel my face fall at his statement. I don't know why I thought I even had a chance with him, he saved my life and that's a debt I could never repay. I thought we might have a connection but he's already married. I don't want to get in the way of that. Great my mood was completely down and Merle mouthing off to me or Andrea every two minutes was not helping.

"These streets ain't safe in this part of town. Ain't that right, sugar tits?" I turned around seeing Merle grin at me.

"Hey honeybunch, what you say you get me out of these cuffs, we go off somewhere and bump some uglies?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively. That's it. Before anyone could stop me I walked over and delivered a right hook straight to his jaw. He looked taken aback and my knuckles ached slightly.

"That's a mean right hook." Glenn grinned from beside me.

"He was asking for it." I shrugged smiling seeing Merle had shut up. Rick and Andrea turned around from looking over the building at us. Andrea was frowning whilst Rick was wearing an unreadable expression on his face.

I walked over to Morales who was eyeing the territory where the tank was.

"Well there are no manhole covers so it's not going to work." I stated.

"How do you know that?"

"I've been surviving in Atlanta for the past 6 months." I said peering over the edge.

"I've scoured this place and there's nothing." I said defeated.

"Looks like we're stuck on this roof with this inbred piece of white shit." I pointed to Merle and Morales rolled his eyes.

"You're wrong." I turned around seeing Jacqui look down at me.

"An old building like, usually had large drainage tunnels which lead into the sewers." She explained as Glenn, Rick and Andrea joined our group.

"How do you know that?" I asked her.

"City zoning office. Used to be my job."

"Huh." Glenn led the way through the door all of us following him down the steps to the basement.

"Your hand okay?" Rick pointed to my knuckles which were red and slightly swollen. I rubbed them gently feeling them to be tender.

"Let me see," he took my hands in his own and I looked up at him. He had dark curly hair and his eyes were concentrated on studying my hands. _Careful._ A voice went off in my head, wouldn't want to go falling for him now.

"They don't really ache that much." I said nonchalantly drawing his icy blue eyes into my whiskey coloured ones. Rick raised his eyebrows not believing me. I gently shrugged his hands off my mine.

"Honestly it's because I used to box. So my fingers are kind of used to it." I explained and he nodded. He was definitely a man of few words. But he was the type of man who conveyed all his emotions in his eyes.

"Impressive. That explains you punching Merle." He gave a hint of a smile before walking in front of me as I bit back a grin.

"I really scoped this place out the other times I was here. It's the only thing in the building that goes down. But I've never gone down it. Who'd want to, right?" Glenn chuckled looking around at the rest of us. The whole group, Rick included looked at him expectantly.

"Oh great." His smile fell.

"Come on I'm not even the smallest." He pointed to me.

"Hey!" I defended causing the group to look at me.

"Look I can't have all of you behind me because if something goes wrong and I have to get out there's no way I won't be killed." Glenn explained

"I'll take Polaris."

"Okay first off. I can't even shoot a gun. And second why not Rick?" I flustered to the man standing next to me.

"I'd feel much safer if Rick, Andrea and Morales covered the roof. If something happens yell down to us." He said to Rick.

"Okay everyone knows their jobs." Rick said as they were about to leave to go to the roof. I grabbed Ricks arm forcing him to look at me.

"Look officer friendly,"

"I'm not comfortable with this. I'm much better with a knife and I don't think I'd be much help for Glenn." I said uneasily.

"Look I've seen you fight Pol, I think you can handle yourself. You're the smallest one to go down there and really I think you just don't want to go into the sewers." He drawled lips quirking up.

"You're damn right I don't." I moaned and Rick pleaded with me.

"Fine," I resigned. Rick took Andrea's gun and handed it to me.

"Safety on, safety off. Point and shoot." He showed me quickly.

"Think you got that?" He looked down at me from underneath the Sheriff's hat. _Well when you're looking at me like that I can't say no._

"Possibly," I offered.

"Good enough." He patted my shoulder and followed the rest of the group up the ladder.

"If we live long enough I'll teach you to shoot!" He shouted back.

"Come on Pol," Glenn beckoned and I followed him into the drainage tunnel.

We crawled for a while through the disgusting shit and piss filled tunnel with blood plastered on the walls.

"How is this not bothering you?" I scrunched my nose.

"It is," Glenn said shakily and vomited on the side.

"You okay there?" I patted his lower back.

"Yeah," he said as we kept moving. We reached the sewers and stood up wading through the water.

"Can you just imagine all the shit down here?" Glenn wondered.

"I'd rather not." Suddenly we heard low voices coming from the tunnel and we pressed ourselves against the wall. I turned the safety off like Rick showed and pointed it in the direction of the torchlight my hands shaky. I walked slowly ahead of Glenn and turned a corner until we came to a grate.

"Ah this is a good sign. Think we could cut through this?" I asked Glenn handing him the gun.

"I doubt hacksaw could get through this. Maybe if we had half a day and a blowtorch." He said studying the metal bars.

"That'll be a no then." We tried to see if any of the metal bars would budge so we could find an opening.

"So what did you do before this?" Glenn asked me and I let out a dry chuckle.

"Sorry buddy I don't do backstory."

"Come on I'm not asking you to tell me your entire life. Just one thing, if we're stuck with each other." He suggested looking at me hopefully.

"Well, I was training to be a teacher." I lied. He doesn't need to know.

"Ohh," Glenn said looking interested.

"Here or in London?" I narrowed my eyes at him before answering.

"I went back to London after college here but I guess I wanted a fresh start." I shrugged. He doesn't need to know everything yet, I don't even know if I can fully trust him. Well he did save my life.

"What about you?" I posed the question back to him hoping he wouldn't pry anymore.

"I was a pizza delivery boy." He said sheepishly.

"No shame Glenn." I patted him on the back and he grinned.

"How old are you?" I asked the young man next to me, he has to be younger than me.

"I'm 23." He said.

"You?"

"Oh I'm 25." I said pulling on the bar.

"Okay this is not happening," I pulled back easily standing up in the narrow sewage passage.

"Let's go back to the others." A Walker smashed up against the metal bars and reached out it's decaying hands making Glenn and I jump back. I pulled out my knife and thrusted it into the hear making a sickening crunch.

—

"Did you find anything down there?" Rick asked us eyeing the glass on the main shop floor.

"Not a way out." I piped in panting.

"We need to move," Andrea said as the double doors broke and the Walkers broke through. We made a run for the roof climbing up the unstable ladder as fast as we could. Rick barricaded the door with a large metal box.

"Hey that construction site. The keys are usually in the truck," Rick said looking back at me with a glint in his eyes. I smiled getting his hint and looked over the roof.

"But the Walkers?" I asked him and his face fell for a moment.

"We just need a distraction. You did get me out of the tank," Rick said to Glenn.

"Well Walkers are drawn by sound and smell." I explained.

"They can tell us by smell?" Rick put his hands on his hips. Andrea, Jacqui and Morales joined us wiping sweat from their foreheads.

"Uh yeah, it's pretty distinct." She said her striking features scrunching up in the heat. We made our way back down to the stairs to the basement level of the store where I first met the group.

"This would take the Olympic gold for bad ideas." Glenn gulped as Rick through him a jacket.

"You should think about this," Morales eyed him as Rick handed him sheets and protective clothing.

"Look that glass wont hold forever. And when it breaks, we need to get out." Rick handed me a white jacket and sheets to put over me.

"You know I can't tell," I looked up at Rick who turned his attention towards me.

"You're either a genius. Or really stupid." I quirked as he let out a dry chuckle.

The dead Walker was dragged in by Morales and Rick.

"Is T-Dog gonna be able to manage Merle?" I leaned over to Jacqui and Andrea.

"Let's hope so." Jacqui said holding her nose.

"Fucking hell." I pinched my nose trying to take deep breaths.

"Oh. Oh god." Glenn turned away when Rick started to hack into the zombie with the axe.

"Rick," I warned taking a step back.

"Madre is Dios." Morales said backing off.

"Keep chopping," He passed the axe to me.

"That's cute Grimes." I glared at him putting the protective eye gear on. I swung the heavy axe into the body seeing the blood and guts splattered onto my clothes and the goggles.

"Don't let it get on your skin or in your eyes." He warned as I hacked into the Walker. I stood up heaving and threw up in the corner.

"Your fault," I glared at Ricks who patted my arm reassuringly.

"Are you sure you wanna go out with us?" I bet that southern accent of his got him all the girls.

"Sure, the more the better." He nodded as the others starting rubbing the guts into our clothes. Oh god. I smell like something just died. Haha.

"What are you grinning about?" Glenn said grumpily seeing my smile. I ducked my head not replying.

"Sure you got enough there?" I mockingly asked Andrea who dropped part of the intestines around my neck.

"Oh thank you for that." I glared at her and she smirked.

"This is really bad." Glenn said choking.

"Think about puppies and kittens. Dead puppies and kittens." Rick shuddered.

"That's shitty advice." I said pointedly to him trying not to gag.

"Do we smell like them?" Rick asked the group who were standing a good few feet away from us. I unsheathed the knife from my belt and held it out to the side.

"Be ready." Rick said to the group when Andrea passed her gun over to Glenn.

"Good luck." Jacqui said to us as Rick led to the way opening the door. We walked on either side of him covered in guts with weapons out just in case. Hundreds of walkers surrounded us, the smell of decomposing flesh filling my nose making me feel light headed and slightly uneasy.

I felt a hand steady my shoulder and I saw Rick staring at me. I nodded to him and we kept moving slowly. The heat was unbearable and I was sweating like crazy.

"It's working." Glenn whispered happily. Clouds rolled above us blocking out the sun. Oh thank God. I smiled looking up thankful that someone was watching out for us. And then the heavens opened. It's raining! Oh no. It's _raining._

I whipped my head around to Rick worriedly as some of the blood began washing off our clothes, the Walkers moved in closer sensing the smell.

"The smells washing off." I whispered harshly to him.

"No it's not. Well maybe." He said uneasily as we walked a bit faster. I raised my knife getting ready for a fight.

Surrounded by Walkers, covered in Walker guts, this is definitely not how I wanted to die. We ran through the walking dead bodies slashing and knocking them over as we went until we finally reached the construction site. Glenn and Rick threw their weapons over the metal fence and jumped over. I started to climb when suddenly the wound in my stomach opened.

"Shit," I swore seeing the Walkers move closer.

"Oh I'm gonna die." I moaned."Oh I'm gonna die." I clutched my stomach in pain. The shirt was stained with my blood too.

"Polaris!" Rick shouted on the other side of the fence.

"You guys go! I'll hold them off!" I said back to him seeing the approaching horde of the dead.

"Are you crazy?" He shouted back.

"Just hurry. I'll figure something out." I yanked out the knife from my belt and spun it around. Here they come..

I stabbed the knife into a Walker's head and fell to the floor with the Walker lying on top of me to mask my scent. I don't know how long I spent lying under all the dead but I was trying so hard not to cry and vomit all at the same time. It worked! I smiled hearing a truck speed away. The Walkers began chasing after the truck and most of them had passed over.

"Shit they probably think I'm dead." I muttered. I pushed the walker's body off me and hacked into it, smearing more guts on my clothes.

"Here it comes again." I groaned doubling over to the empty the contents of my stomach. Need to find a car, so I can catch up to them. My stomach was bleeding out. I tore off a piece of cloth from my jacket and wrapped it around my midsection tightly. That should do for now. I followed the direction of the truck walking well behind where the Walkers were.

The rain clouds cleared and the sun was back harshly against the back of my neck. My hair was covered in sweat and grime and blood. Great. I don't know how long I walked for but I finally reached a street and I could hear a car alarm. Maybe that's them! I saw a red sports car race down the intersection with Walkers following it. The tarmac was being painted with blood behind me.

"What the-"

Oh. My blood. Not good, I should've sucked it up and just stitched it up to begin with. Now I'm alone. Probably the last time I'll get to see Mr. blue eyes.

I hobbled over to an old store and sat inside against the wall. I shrugged off the dirty gut covered sheets and opened my pack. Great my water bottle's empty. My eyes starting drifting shut.

"These idiots have left me to die." I moaned as I felt myself passing out.

 **A/N: What did you think? Anything is appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2 - You Came Back

**A/N: OMG so I didn't expect to get some good reviews on that so quickly! I'm glad people are enjoying it and I was so happy I wrote another chapter for you all! This one is more about dialogue and interaction with the new characters. Hope you guys like it! I'm also scrapping the storyline with the guys looking after the elderly people in the community centre. You know the ones who take Glenn when they try to get the duffle bag, I don't think it's nevessary for the story.**

 **i hope you like my take on certain characters and I hope I do them justice. There are a couple of little twists and a slight deviation from the plot, you'll see what I mean. Polaris isn't perfect and I want to show that she'll make mistakes. I hope you find my take on Lori interesting, I think she's villanised by this fandom a bit when really she's just a mother who did what it took to survive.**

 **I want to thank frosiedog for following and favouriting this story and for my two reviewers!**

 **Frosiedog: Thanks a lot! I'm personally a huge Rick Grimes fan and I was a bit disappointed with the lack of fanfics on him, so I thought why not write one! Haha yeah michonne and Lori will have a role to play..**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: Oh you're so sweet! As for my storyline I am sticking closely to the show so you have the producers to thank for that! The lines are taken from the show too but I've changed some of them and added my own dialogue. I do hope you continue to watch the show it's definitle worth it!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or it's affiliated characters or plot line. Only my OC and my storyline.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

"Hey," I heard a voice calling out from above me but I didn't have the strength to open my eyes.

"Pol," It coaxed. Hey I know that voice.

"Polaris," I was shaken and I opened my eyes suddenly gasping.

"Hey woah woah! It's just me." I looked into the blue eyes of Rick Grimes who had both hands on my upper arms trying to calm me down.

"You came back," I smiled my vision uneasy.

"Asshole, you guys left me." I moaned feeling my stomach in pain.

"Easy," Rick coaxed.

"You've lost a lot of blood. And I'm sorry, we were always gonna come back for you." He said honestly.

"It's okay. I forgive you because you have such a nice, attractive face." I sighed, patting his cheek and he smirked.

"Damn you are one ugly skank." I heard a new voice with a southern accent drawl and the twang of an arrow. Another man came into view with short brown hair and a beard. He looks strangely familiar.

"Who's this?" He pointed the crossbow towards me.

"Ease up Daryl." I saw T-Dog lower his arm.

"She helped us escape." Rick turned to the man Daryl who lowered his crossbow.

"Need to get you stitched up." He turned back to me.

"May I?" He asked tentatively holding the end of my shirt as I nodded.

He lifted my shirt gently seeing the blood soaked through. He pulled out a needle and thread.

"This is gonna hurt." He looked at me apologetically.

"Here." Glenn came by next to me and gave me his hand to hold.

"Heyyy Glenn." I slurred feeling like I was going to slip into unconsciousness. I groaned in pain when a few minutes later Rick finished pulling my shirt back down.

"What are you guys doing back here?" I asked as Rick and Glenn helped me up so I could get steady on my feet.

"We came back for that duffle bag. It has guns, rifles and ammo. Plenty to defend the whole camp." Rick explained.

"Oh so you found the camp?"

"Yeah, and my family." Rick said slowly eyeing me.

"Oh I'm so happy for you!" I smiled brightly at him. I was honestly glad he found them, he could be with his wife now. Just embarrassed I threw myself at him a minute ago.

"Don't forget the main reason we came here was to find my brother." Daryl spat.

"Your brother?" I asked him.

"Merle," Glenn said uneasily.

"You came to rescue that piece of shit?" I asked incredulously at the group as Daryl came charging towards me. I put my fists up not wanting to back down from his attack. I'll fight him if I have to.

"Woah, woah!" Rick shouted coming between us.

"Let's work together to get those guns, get Merle and get to the camp. So we can get some painkillers in you." He directed the last statement to me.

"You good to walk?" He asked and I nodded.

"Who's letting her come back to camp?" Daryl pointed towards me and I glared.

"I could say the same for your prick brother." I shot back.

"Polaris is coming back with us because we wouldn't be here if she hadn't held off the walkers and let us escape with the truck." Rick said and I looked at him gratefully. Daryl looked at me with an unreadable expression but gave Rick a quick nod.

I followed the men, Rick, Glenn and T-Dog walking ahead as Daryl walked just to the side of me.

"Sorry for what I said earlier." I apologised awkwardly to Daryl. If he's part of their group I don't want to get off to the wrong start. Honestly Merle didn't deserve my apology but I didn't want there to be tensions between us. He seems like an important asset.

"Your brother just said some things to me. Things I wasn't gonna take, so I Uh gave him a right hook." I said glancing to him quickly. He looked at me intently but said nothing just giving me a grunt.

"What did you do that for?" He said harshly.

"He doesn't have the greatest respect for women." I defended and Daryl said nothing.

"You're a real chatterbox." I smile slyly at him from the corner of my eye. Suddenly a Walker came out of nowhere before I had time to get out my knife. I was pushed behind someone and the Walker fell down to the ground with a crunch and an arrow embedded in his head.

"Thanks," my mouth hung open as I looked at Daryl.

"Don't mention it." He said gruffly and walked ahead. We finally reached the building of the department store and walked up the stairs. Glenn with the bolt cutters cut the padlock off and we all piled onto the roof. But no Merle.

"Merle! Merle! No." Daryl started crying and went on his knees looking at something on the floor.

It was a human hand, dripping with blood and a hacksaw next to it.

—

Daryl quickly stuffed the hand into Glenn's backpack and closed the zip.

"That's morbid." I stated resisting the urge to gag.

"Blood trail." I bent down on the floor with Rick beside me.

"Daryl might not want to accept it but he might be dead." I whispered to him as he thought for a moment.

He stood up and started to follow the blood trail the rest of us behind him. We went down the ladder on the side of the building to another block of buildings where there were offices. There were two dead Walkers lying on the floor.

"Had enough in him to take out these two sonabitches." Daryl scoffed scouting the areas. I gave Rick an uneasy look which he returned.

"Any man can pass out from blood loss. No matter how tough he is." We found a kitchen in the building and saw the fire was still burning.

"He cauterised the wound." Rick states seeing the belt on the table top.

"Told you He was tough." Daryl said slightly proudly. To one side there was a smashed window but no sign of Merle.

"I need to go get him." He started marching off towards the window before Rick shoved him back.

"Look I know he's your family. I went through hell tryin' to find mine. I know how you feel but we need to keep a level head, we could check a few blocks but we need those guns." He stared intensely at Daryl.

"I could do that." He nodded. We left the building and reached a couple of streets over to where the tank was completely surrounded by Walkers but the duffle bag was still intact.

"This is a shitty plan Glenn." I scowled seeing no way round.

"You can't do this alone." Rick said lowly making sure no Walker's were heading towards us.

"Me by myself means I can move fast and I won't draw attention. Look Daryl, Polaris and me will be in that alley I first met you in. You and T-Dog will be in the alley two blocks down." Glenn explained.

"Why?" Rick drawled.

"I might not be able to come back the same way. This way I'm covered and afterwards we'll meet back here." He said.

"Are you sure you want me as Daryl's back up?" I asked him uneasily seeing as I could barely stand up straight.

"Your knife and his crossbow are quiet which gives you a sound advantage." Glenn said. Everyone knew the plan and we split up. Glenn, Daryl and me climbed down the ladder and I jumped to the ground with a thud feeling pain jolt in my midsection I held it.

"You good?" Daryl checked. Was that concern I saw?

"Yeah," we waited behind the dumpster as Glenn ran down the alleyway towards the tank.

"Ah shit," I groaned closing my eyes.

"Rick would make a shitty tailor." I lifted the shirt gently seeing some of the stitches open.

"Hey don't you pass out on me." Daryl demanded clicking his fingers in front of me as I fell faint. He sat me down against the dumpster and gave me a gun.

"Cover me from behind." He ordered as I struggled to keep my eyes open. He looked towards the front seeing Glenn grabbing the bag of guns and running back towards us, a horde of corpses aggressively snapping their jaws at him. I stood up quickly and began shooting into the Walkers trying not to hit Glenn.

"Let's go!" Daryl shouted at him helping me to the ladder as we made our way up. Glenn passed the bag to Daryl as we stood on the roof and to the alleyway where T-Dog and Rick were.

"Got it." Glenn grinned at Rick. He smiled and looked at me heavily leaning on Daryl.

"What happened?" His face turned serious seeing the blood leak from my shirt.

"You're a shitty doctor." I grimaced spitting out blood feeling my head spin.

"We need to get back quickly." Glenn took my other arm and draped it around his shoulder with Daryl on the other side as we half ran back to the van they came in. They sat me at the back of the van with Rick and T-Dog as Glenn and Daryl up front sped away back towards their camp.

"Here got some painkillers for you." He rattled the small container with pills. He opened the jar and gave me two to swallow along with some water. A good 10 minutes later I was feeling the effects of it.

"Don't suppose you got spare clothes?" I offered Rick who shook his head with a smile.

"No ma'am." We finally stopped the car as he helped me out of the van it was nearing sundown and we heard gunshots.

"Oh God." Rick said his face looking terrified.

"Go!" Glenn shouted as we followed him back to the camp. I pulled out my knife not knowing what we were about to walk into. We ran through the trees and bushes in the mountains until we came to a clearing and saw the remains of a camp which were overrun by Walkers. Rick, Glenn and T-Dog began shooting them down and Daryl used his crossbow staying close by my side. I stabbed my knife in a few heads and saw Andrea holding a young blonde girl in her hands.

"Andrea?" I asked tentatively as she looked up at me with tear filled eyes.

"You," She said.

"Polaris." I told her as she nodded.

"Keep pressure on that wound." I instructed as she took off her outer shirt and wrapped it around the girl's neck.

"Please help her. My sister." She sobbed uncontrollably.

"Keep it together Andrea." I looked up seeing the other occupied with the Walkers and more people over by an RV.

I lifted the cloth off of the girls neck and sure enough saw a bite wound. I sighed looking at Andrea and pulled out knife.

"No no what are you doing?" She cried gasping in shock. I gently twisted the knife in the base of her neck until she was no longer moving.

"Amy! No!" Andrea said pushing me away.

"I'm sorry. But she was gonna turn." I explained feeling guilty. It's less painful this way, she wouldn't have been able to handle it. I saw the rest of the group had joined me along with a brown haired woman holding Rick's hand and a young boy in front of them. So this must be his family. Morales and his family were there along with a new older woman and a young girl. Another man walked up beside Rick and looked at me intently.

"You killed her!" Andrea accused pointing at me. Before I could defend myself my eyes rolled back and I hit the floor with a thud.

—-

"Oh this is becoming a habit." I groaned waking up inside what seemed to be the RV.

"Let's hope we can break it now." I heard a chuckle seeing the same brown haired woman from the night before stitching up my stomach wound properly.

"Well you seem like you're doing a better job than Rick." I said dryly holding my tongue as I felt the needle go into my skin.

"Sorry I'm almost there." She concentrated before tying it off and wrapping fresh linens around it.

"Thanks Uh?" I prompted her.

"Oh Lori," She smiled.

"My husband told me about you. You saved his life and that's a debt I won't be able to repay. Thank you." She squeezed my hands.

"Well he saved mine first." I chuckled.

"But your welcome. I'm glad he found his family."

"He's trying to convince the rest of the group to let you stay." Lori said uneasily.

"Stay?" I gulped.

"Yeah, after that stunt with Andrea last night, some people aren't feeling safe." She said not meeting my eyes.

"Oh," I said my face falling. That girl got bit, it was the only thing to do in that situation. Why don't they understand? There are some things you need to do, to survive.

"How's it looking?" I asked her hopefully.

"Rick, me, Glenn and Morales want you to stay."

"Hell you even got Dixon on your side." She chuckled and I thought of Daryl who saved my life after I insulted his brother.

"Carol and Sophia are unsure about you. You'll meet them when we go outside." Lori explained taking my dirty clothes and handing me new ones.

"Shane, Andrea and Dale are against you staying."

"That girl Amy you killed, that was Andrea's sister." Lori said slowly like she was talking to a child.

"Oh shit." My fave morphed in horror. I shouldn't have acted so fast, it was just a survival instinct.

"Well I don't want to cause fights in your group." I said taking the clean clothes and getting my backpack.

"Woah hold on there. Polaris is it? You're nowhere near fit to travel by yourself." She steadied me as I stood up.

"So for now you got no choice." She said firmly.

"I'll let you wash up." She said leaving the van. She is surprisingly nice. Well I didn't expect her to be a bitch or anything but I thought I'd hate her, I think I'm just jealous that she has a man like Rick for a husband. Men like that are hard to come by.

I changed into the clothes and brushed my hair, pulling it up into a ponytail and stepped out of the RV into the hot sun.

I looked across the fire in the middle seeing Andrea over the body of her dead sister crying and holding her face. I felt a pang of guilt across my chest.

"Andrea I'm so sorry, she's gone. You gotta let us take her." Lori came over putting a hand on her shoulder. I look over seeing Daryl and Glenn through the dead bodies of Walkers and people into a fire. Rick comes over to Lori who are talking quietly to one another.

"So you're awake," I looked to my side seeing another southern man with thick black hair and hands on his hips studying me.

"Yeah," I said crossing my arms over my chest not liking his tone.

"That was a shitty thing you did." He said following my gaze to look at Andrea.

"What right do you have to judge me?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not judging you darlin' you're dangerous for our group and we need to survive. And there's no way the likes of you is gonna stay here, specially not around the kids." He threatened.

"I just did what had to be done. I'm not proud of it, but that girl was going to turn and you wouldn't have liked the results of that." I held his gaze looking up to see him properly for the first time.

"You've grown comfortable in your camp with your group. You haven't had to survive out there by yourself, scavenging for food hoping you won't be somebody's next meal. Don't you dare talk to me about surviving, you don't know the first thing." I spat out at him walking off towards Glenn just across the camp.

"You ok?" He asked throwing the Walkers into the fire. I looked back at the man I just talked to.

"Oh Just brilliant." I said sarcastically.

"He's a twat." I pointed to the man standing with Rick and Lori.

"Ah you met Shane," Glenn stated.

"He's kinda the leader of the camp."

"Oh great so I not only killed someone's sister but I also insulted the leader. I might as well put a bullet in my head now." I sighed sitting down on the log. Glenn patted my shoulder comfortingly before walking off.

"You were right to do it you know," I heard a gruff voice coming from next to me seeing Daryl clean out his crossbow.

"Sorry?"

"Killin' Amy, she was gunna turn. Somebody needed to do it." I grunted in response.

"You're looking okay," Daryl pointed to my stomach.

"I thought you hated me." I posed the statement to him raising an eyebrow.

"I never said that." He defended.

"What I said about your brother,"

"Merle can be a prick sometimes, don't worry about it, he probably deserved what you did to him. But he didn't deserve to be left on the rooftop by himself." He shrugged.

"I know, I'm sorry we didn't find him." I said apologetically.

"Don't worry, toughest bastard I ever met." He said assuring himself.

"Shane can be a prick too." He finished walking off leaving me to grin. I looked over to Andrea who was still holding her sisters body. I felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt, maybe I acted too rashly, I should've waited. I stood up to go talk to her before I felt a gentle arm pull me back. I looked up to the owner and was pulled in once again by those blue eyes.

"Maybe not now." He said stopping me.

"I just feel so guilty right now. Like I acted too quickly but It was the only thing I could think to do." I said looking at my feet shuffling together.

"I know," He said emphasising his point.

"But not now." He said making sure I understood. I looked over to where Lori and Shane were talking and Lori looked at me curiously. I lifted Ricks hand off of my arm and took a step back.

"Your wife fixed me up pretty good. I think I should just get out of your hair when my stomach's better." I said walking off.

"You're wrong." I turned around as Rick took his hat off and smoothed down those curly locks of his.

"You saved my life. And you have every right to be here, you're one of us now." I smiled looking at the ground.

"That's sweet. But try convincing the others of that. I acted pretty recklessly according to Shane, he doesn't seem to think I'm safe to be around." I shrugged.

"You gotta understand," He said in a low voice.

"We don't kill people, there's a distinction between us and the dead."

"You don't think I know that?" I whispered harshly.

"I've seen what happens and it's not pretty, it's not nice. It just breaks your heart. You may not understand why I did what I did but I had my reasons. And I do feel sorry about it."

A little upset that Rick didn't understand but he hadn't been out there as long as I had. He'd soon see. I thought to myself walking away from Rick.

I walked a little past the camp until I got to the lake by the rock quarry and sat down looking at the sky blue water. Taking my boots off I dipped my toes in the cool water and sat there remembering.

"Come on Pol, you came here to find a cure. Dr Jenner's working on that." Raul said opposite me leading me down the corridors.

"Does Dr Jenner also know that I'm part of the team that caused the outbreak?" I said incredulously. I had just flown in from Washington to Atlanta as it was the closest functioning CDC facility.

"Uh I thought I'd leave that up to you." He grinned nervously.

"Look Pol it wasn't your fault directly, but you're the most senior research scientist I could contact. Everyone else is.." he trailed off.

"We thought we had developed a new treatment for HIV. We used an aggressive viral strain to combat it. You know fight fire with fire." I explained.

"But Jones got contaminated. And, well you know the rest." I said feeling overwhelmed. The D.C facility shut down and Atlanta was already being evacuated due an unknown virus which was causing 'human rabies'. This morning on the news a Russian Airline was taken down and the word zombie was being thrown around.

"Please evacuate the building. Zone 5 is being shut down I repeat Zone 5 is being shut down." The automated voice said over the speaker and I looked at Raul.

"Isn't That where Dr Jenner is?" I asked horrified. He nodded wordlessly as everyone started sprinting for the exit of the building

I snapped out of my thoughts. That was 6 months ago. The outbreak of the virus, all my fault, if I tell the others that they'll kick me out for sure. No. They don't need to know.

"Hey," I heard a gruff voice and looked up behind me seeing Shane stand there with sunglasses on.

"What do you want?" I sighed.

"Rick wanted me to come get you." He said reluctantly hands on his hips. I took my feet out of the water and put socks back on them lacing my boots up.

"Why?" I asked him shielding my eyes from the sun.

"We're going to the CDC." Shane watched me trying to see a reaction and I tried not to gulp.

"Rick thinks that it's our best chance, since the military were on the front lines of this thing when it happened."

"But you don't agree?"

"There's a lot of things Rick says I don't agree with." Shane said walking off as I followed him. We walked up the quarry and saw Rick begin to dig graves for the fallen members of the camp. Shane and I each picked up a shovel and started to help.

"Say it." I looked at Rick who was talking to Shane.

"Okay. I'm thinking if you'd of stayed here, if you'd have looked after your own… Instead you went off. You took half our manpower with you. I'm thinking maybe our losses wouldn't have been so bad." Shane explained pushing the shovel and swinging the dirt over his head. I bit my lip, it's not my place to say.

"If we hadn't gone off and brought those guns back when we did, I think our losses would have been a lot worse. Maybe the entire camp." Rick grunted digging further into the ground.

"I think we need to take a moment to think about what we're doing instead of jumping to conclusions guns blazing." Shane said eyeing me with caution. I felt rage build up inside. That's a dig at me, I have to stay calm.

"What's happened has happened. It's in the past and we need to move on if we're gonna survive." Rick looked between us as I gripped the shovel hard.

"I still think we should burn the bodies. There needs to be some rules." Daryl jumped off a truck with his crossbow and came towards us.

"There are no rules." Rick stated as I moved over to his side to dig the grave deeper. I looked at my knuckles which were red and my stomach started hurting.

"Well that's a problem. We need time to bury our people and mourn our dead." A new voice came up over the hill and I watched as Lori stood with her hands on her hips.

"And you," she narrowed her eyes at me.

"What are you doing with that shovel? I just stitched you up! No labour until it's healed." She ordered. I opened my mouth and wordlessly looked at Rick who smirked.

"You heard her." He smiled and I dropped the shovel walking with Lori back to camp.

"You don't have to do this you know." I said sighing looking up at her.

"Pretending to like me for Rick's sake."

"Oh honey," Lori said stopping to look down at me.

"I'm not pretending for my husband. I think you've been on your own for so long you forgot what it was like for people to care about you." She pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes and walked off.

"Damn it." I muttered. It's really hard to hate her, especially when I think I'm starting to like Rick. But she's been so good to me.

Everyone started heading over to the quarry down by the lake and began holding a funeral for the girl Amy. I stood away, I don't think Andrea would want me to be there. I watched from a far as she sobbed lowering her sister down into the ground. Then as soon as it begun, it was over and they started heading back. An older man stopped in front of me and began talking.

"So you must be Polaris. I'm Dale."He said extending his hand.

"Pol will do just fine." I shook his hand and retracted it back resting against the ground. He took a seat next to me as we watched Andrea standing over the grave which Rick and Shane starting filling.

"So you think I'm too dangerous too huh?" I said dryly eyeing Dale. He looked slightly taken aback before chuckling.

"No, I just think you're too reckless."

"Is That why you want me to leave?" I turned to face him.

"I love Andrea like a daughter. Her sister Amy was like a daughter to me and then she got bit. She was gonna die, but don't you think Andrea had the right to do that?" He reasoned with me.

"If you're here to make me feel guilty I've already had enough talks today." I started to get up. More judgemental people in this group but I don't think I'm getting them to like me.

"No please. I'm sorry, sit." I patted the seat next to him and I sat down with a huff.

"Despite that, I know why you did what you did." I looked up at him in shock, he actually understood.

"And I gave it some thought. I think you'd be a valuable asset to the group. I saw the way you handled those Walker's last night and we need more of it." He got up and gave me a wry smile leaving me in shock.

I headed back to the camp where Lori and Rick were talking closely and a young boy. So this must be their son. Rick and Lori went off holding hands into a tent and the young boy ran off playing with the girl.

"Here are your clothes," I looked up seeing an older woman putting a pile of clothes into my arms without looking into my eyes.

"Thanks," I said as she was walking off.

"Hey I'm Polaris." I smiled at her hopefully trying to get more people on my side. I gently pulled her arm back So she'd look at me.

"Look I know, that you might think I'm dangerous but I've only done the things I've done until now to survive." I explained.

"I heard your husband died. I'm sorry." I said sympathetically.

"I'm not. I'm Carol." She gave the briefest of smiles before walking off. I walked into the RV seeing the man Jim the one who was not writhing on the floor. Carol was beside him and I ran towards her trying to calm him down.

"Is he okay?" I said after he had calmed down. I bent down on the other side whilst Carol checked his forehead.

"His fever's worse." She said.

"You need anything?" I turned around at Lori's question seeing Rick and Shane standing behind her.

"Uh could use some water." He said clearing his throat.

Lori and Carol left the RV leaving Rick to take her place on the other side of the or Jim. I dipped a flannel in water and began wiping his forehead gently.

"Thank you," He said to me. I smiled in response.

"You save a grave for me yet?" He asked Rick who looked down.

"No one wants that. What I want is to get you some help." Rick explained his eyes boring into Jim's.

"I've got a pretty british girl taking care of me. I got all the help I need." Jim winked at me and I blushed laughing. Rick cracked a wide smile looking at me intensely before I turned away. Jim started groaning and I sat him up leaning him forward. Rick got some water from Lori and brought it to Jim.

"Sit tight." He patted his arm and walked off. I kissed Jim on the forehead and flashed him a smile following Rick outside the RV.

"So what's the plan man? Are we leaving or not?" Shane asked him as we stood in a group.

"We can't stay here." Rick argued.

"I was just tellin' Shane here we should trust your gut." She nodded firmly at him.

"What do you think?" Rick turned to me.

"Why are you asking her what she thinks man? It's about us." Shane defended.

"Whether you like it or not, she's becoming part of our group and her opinion is going to matter." Rick defended.

"I agree, what do you think Pol?" Lori asked staring intently.

I can't go back to the CDC. Not after what happened last time, this whole thing, I was responsible for it. They're not gonna want me in their group if they find out about it, but I have to think about what's best.

"I think the CDC is your best shot. Our best shot. They might also have supplies we need, maybe even some answers. But it will be dangerous." I said decisively.

"Dangerous? More people will die." Shane scoffed.

"Come on let's do our forest sweep." Shane gestured to Rick and both of them walked off each with rifles in hand.

"What a twat is he always like that?" I complained to Lori who laughed.

"I think that's the most British thing I've ever hear someone say." She smiled.

"Yes he's like that most of the time. Shane's not quick to trust but underneath that he's got a good heart." She said thoughtfully. Was there something between them?

 **A/N: let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3 - Our Best Hope

**A/N: Wow so I had no intention of uploading another chapter but I just wrote it so quickly. I think because I've got the initial flow of ideas I'll be uploading chapters pretty quick but the minimum will be two chapters a week and I'll let you guys know if that changes.**

 **thanks to everyone who reads and review this story! I'm so excited for people to read my new chapters and to respond to it which motivates me to write! My chapters are gonna have quite detailed conversations because I think it's important for building character relationships.**

 **Thank you to elljayde for following and favouriting this story, I hope you enjoy it!**

 **frosiedog: haha I know I purposely made Lori more likeable although I think given the situation that's how she would act. Lol Shane may love Lori and Carl but he was a class A dick And I fully intend to punish him for it. Hehe. I'm excited for you to see how Pol handled things in this chapter, she has no intention of letting Shane bully her.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

"I've been uh, thinking about Ricks plan." Shane began as we gathered around the truck.

"Now I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts. The most important think we need to do is stay together. The CDC may be our best hope. So those of you that agree, we'll leave first think tomorrow morning." Shane said looking at all of us. The group dispersed and started heading back to their own tents as the sun was going down.

"Hey," Rick gently touched my upper arm. I looked up at him as he came to stand next to me.

"We pitched a tent for you. It's there near mine, Lori's and Carl, my son." I looked over to his line of sight and sure enough was a blue tent all ready to be slept in. I smiled at him taking in his blue eyes and how thoughtful he was.

"Thank you. Lori's a lucky woman." I said before I could stop myself. An awkward silence came over us and I backed away.

"I'm gonna get to bed early." I gave him an uneasy smile as we looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"I'll see you Grimes." I turned around holding my hand up towards him. I entered my tent and saw a rolled up blanket with my clothes and boots on one side and a couple of bottles of water. My backpack was also in here. Thank God. I opened it seeing the brown leather journal I had and wrote another quote inside I remembered:

"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

The famous words by Dylan Thomas are what I'm going to use to carry on and survive. I clutched the journal against my chest, it's like a small escape. A safe haven.

—

Rudely woken up by Lori at the crack of dawn. I tried combing my hair with my fingers and pushed it up into a bun so it would stay out of my face. I laced up my boots and stuffed the clothes into my backpack. I attached the knife to my belt and wrapped up my blanket whilst also taking down the tent. I saw the others were doing the same and about an hour later we had all eaten and were ready to go.

"Alright everyone. Keep the on channel 40 and keep the chatter down. Those without C.B, if you got a problem just honk your horn once and the caravan will stop. Questions?" Shane asked the group.

"We're uh not going. We have family in Birmingham and we wanna be with our people. I gotta do what's best for my family." Morales said. I was shocked, he was leaving us? I thought it would be safer if we stayed in the group.

"You sure?" Rick asked putting the hat on his head.

"We're sure." He said firmly. Rick and Shane handed him gun and a box of ammo to last them on their journey. The other members of the group said their goodbyes to his wife and children and they got in another car and left. The group was getting smaller and smaller and it started when I got here. I gulped.

There were 4 cars and the RV when we set out from the quarry carrying all of our belongings with us. Dale, Glenn, Jim and Jacqui in the RV ahead of us. Shane in his own car. Daryl, Carol and her daughter Sophia in another car. Andrea and Jacqui were with T-Dog. And I was sitting comfortably in the backseat of the car with Carl beside me and Lori and Rick in front. I watched as Lori held Ricks hand and both looked at each other and smiled, I looked back down feeling I interrupted a private moment. I pulled out my headphones and CD player from my backpack.

"What's that?" The boy asked from next to me.

"This kid, is a CD player. It plays music." I opened it showing it to him.

"Oh so you can listen to anything?"

"Sure if I have the CD for it." I explained, Just about to put the headphones on my ears when Carl spoke again.

"Is it true you're named after a star?" He looked up at me.

"My mom told me your name is Polaris." I glanced up at Lori in the front seat curiously who held my gaze and smiled.

"Well yes. My name is actually the North Star. No matter where you are in the world it stays in the exact same place, it's what travellers used to find their direction." I said and he thought for a moment.

"That's pretty cool. I wish my name was like that!" He said excitedly.

"Oh no I think Carl sounds way better." I said giving him a wry smile.

"You're not supposed to lie." Carl sighed looking out of the window.

"You heard the man." I glanced at Rick through the mirror who gave me a mischievous smirk.

"You know what is cool though?" I asked leaning over to get his attention.

"What?" Carl turned around to face me with a frustrated look on his face.

"Led Zeppelin." I grinned.

—

"And that one is called Stairway to Heaven."

"Super famous song." I said.

"I like it." Carl decided nodding.

"At least you have good taste in music." Lori piped in at the front.

"Not like Rick here who only listens to country." Lori teased him playing with his hair.

"There is absolutely nothin wrong with liking that genre of music." He defended but smiled all the same.

"It's good I didn't marry you for your music taste." Lori grinned at Rick who laughed. I felt my heart ache hearing him laugh at her joke. I was happy for him but it was upsetting knowing I'd never truly have that. Not with Rick or anyone else.

"Uh we got a problem," Dales voice came over the radio. The RV a good distance in front of us came to a stop and so did the car.

"Hey d'you mind keepin' an eye on Carl?" Rick turned around looking at me as I took one headphone out.

"Uh sure," Lori smiled gratefully and they both got out of the car to head towards the RV. Dale got out and was talking to Rick as they opened the front of the caravan which seemed to be held together by duct tape. Rick went inside the RV and a few minutes later Jim was carried out.

"Oh," I whispered silently.

"Come on Carl." I helped him out of the car and we walked towards the RV where now everyone was standing. Him was sat against a tree holding his stomach and his eyes rolling back.

"It's what he said he wants." Rick said hands on his hips. I caught gaze before I understand nodding.

"And he's lucid?" Carol asked.

"Seems to be." Rick replied looking back at Jim against the tree.

"We just leave him here? I'm not sure I could live with that." Shane shook his head.

"It's none of your choices. Either of you." I looked up from the ground between Rick and Shane who's attention was turned to me.

"If this is what he wants…" I trailed off.

We all stood around Jim who was sitting down looking incredibly peaceful. Jacqui leaned forward and gave him a quick hug.

"Jim do you want this?" Rick asked holding the gun.

"No you'll need it. I'm okay." He gave a weak smile then looked over to me.

"Hey new girl." Jim said as I leaned down in front of him.

"Hey Jim." I smiled.

"How you feeling?"

"Pretty good considering." Jim said before clutching his stomach slightly. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and pulled back slightly.

"Take care of them." He whispered. I looked into his eyes and nodded squeezing his hand. I got up and followed the group back wiping the tears that formed in my eyes.

"You okay?" Rick was walking beside me.

"Oh yeah," I chuckled.

"I'm fine. He just reminds me of someone." I smiled at the thought.

"What did he say to you?"

"To take care of you lot." I punched him gently on the shoulder.

"We'll take care of you too. I'll make sure of it." Rick said intensely and I nodded not being able to meet his gaze. Damn that man and his intense stares. I could just get sucked into those blue eyes. Lori was sitting comfortably in the backseat with Carl and gestured for me to sit upfront with Rick. Both of them soon fell asleep and we got to know each other a bit more.

"What's your favourite colour?"

"What are we in nursery?" I scoffed making fun of him.

"Don't tease," he glanced at me smirking.

"Blue". I stated.

"Blue like the colour of the sky?" More like the colour of your eyes.

"Yeah the colour of the sky." I gulped.

"What about you?"

"Oh forest green."

"Ah that's a nice colour. What did you want to be when you grew up?"

"I actually ended up being what I wanted to be. A police officer." He said looking out onto the road.

"I wanted to be an astronaut. Don't laugh I'm serious." I warned him seeing his face.

"Yeah I can actually imagine you up in space." He broke out in a wide smile.

"Oh yeah?"

"Definitely," I smiled back at him before clearing my throat when he stared a little too long.

"We're here." He said as we pulled up to a building which was littered with bodies around it. This was the CDC alright.

"You alright? You look like you've seen a ghost." I looked in the mirror and saw I had gone all pale.

"Fine." I gave a tight smile. We turned around to the backseat and saw mother and son sleeping comfortably. Rick and I looked at each other and smiled.

"Lor," he shook her knee gently.

"Hey Carl, buddy wake up," I shook his knee and ice blue eyes looked back at me.

"We're here." We all got out of the cars and the RV, everyone had weapons in hand and Rick handed me a gun which I took hesitantly. I held the fun up in position and Rick wrapped his hand over min standing by my side.

"Safety on. Safety off. Trigger." His hand hovered over mine and I could feel his breath next to me ear.

"You got this." He reassured before walking ahead. We were quick and quiet, weapons out to head towards the building.

"Keep moving stay together." Shane and Rick were at the front with their guns out scouting the area. Lori, Carl, Carol and Sophia were in between along with Andrea and I stayed close by them with my gun out scanning the area. Jacqui, Dale, Daryl and Glenn were at the rear covering our backs.

"It's okay Carol." I reassured the nervous woman next to me who clutched Sophia and was visibly trembling.

"Oh God." Glenn muttered from underneath his breath.

"We're almost there baby." Lori stroked Carl's hair as we finally reached the front door which had a security camera.

"Anything?" Shane asked as I pounded on the door. I shook my head at him.

"If there's no one here why are these shutters down?" Rick started pacing around the front nervously and continued banging on the door.

"Walkers!" Daryl called out and began shooting at them.

Glenn and Dale helped him fend off the Walkers as I kept Lori and Carl close by me.

"You led us into a graveyard! It was the wrong damn call." Daryl spat out at Rick as he continued shooting the Walkers.

"Rick this is a dead end!" Shane shouted trying to talk some sense into him. Its getting dark and we can't be this close to the city.

"Fort Benning's still an option." Shane suggested.

"That's over 100 miles from here!" I snapped at him.

"We gotta get out. Come on Rick." Shane put his hand on his shoulder. Just as we were turning away I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. The security camera was faced in a different direction. I looked at Rick who saw the same thing.

"Did you?" I asked him and he nodded slowly.

"The camera it moved." Rick pointed to show Shane.

"You imagined it man."

"No he's right I saw it too. There's someone in there." I said looking at the doors hoping they would open.

"Rick it's dead man. Automated movement." Shane tried to convince.

"Asshole! It moved okay!" I shouted at him getting Shane's attention and the rest of the group who looked at me suddenly.

"Now stop pretending like I'm not here and try and help figure this out." I turned around and suddenly was shoved by Shane.

"Hey!" I turned around pushing him off me.

"What's your problem man?" Rick said annoyed.

"She's my problem." He pointed to me.

"You just let her into the group not knowing who she is or what she did. She killed Amy! Let's not beat around the bush here, and more of our people could die around her. You really wanna keep Lori and Carl around her man?" He looked at Rick.

"Yes I do. She saved my life. Now look," Rick spoke to the rest of the group.

"Polaris is a part of our group now. She is a valuable member of this team and can help keep us safe. She's said herself she's made mistakes and she's sorry but she deserves the chance to redeem herself at least. Is everyone clear?" There were some nods around the group. I looked up at Rick and could not express the gratitude I felt towards him. He made me feel part of the group and like I could stay and survive with them. Tears welled up in my eyes, I had never felt this way before, that someone was willing to fight for me.

"Please I know you're in there we got nowhere else to to!" Rick said desperately.

"We've got women and children! No food or gas. Please." He said his voice breaking. Lori took his hand off the door gently and we were just about to leave when we heard the metal creaking of the door opening and we were suddenly covered in a bright light.

—

"Daryl make sure there's no Walkers." Shane commanded him as we all entered the building. The door came down quickly behind us.

"Hello?" I called out into the building.

"Hello? Anyone infected?" The voice called out over the speaker.

"One of our group was. He didn't make it." Rick looked down and took a deep breath.

"Why are you here? What do you want?" The man called over.

"A chance." Rick said looking up.

"You all need to submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission." He said lying down the terms of his condition.

"We can do that." Rick agreed looking at all of us who nodded enthusiastically. I fucking hate blood tests. I always faint and the thought of a needle going into my skin. I shuddered. But I'll take it over having to survive out there any day.

"You got stuff to bring in, you do it now." The man said before we heard the speaker close. The second set of doors opened and in stood a man I never thought I would see, I thought he had died. I tried to stop my shock from showing on my face but Shane saw my change in expression and narrowed his eyes at me. Shit.

"Rick Grimes." Rick introduced himself and us.

"Dr. Edwin Jenner." The tall blonde haired man said looking at us. We took the elevator down to a basement level the Dr Jenner ordered the computer to activate the room. It lit up and was surrounded by tables with computers, lab workbenches and chemicals stocked across endless shelves. This is the place I was heading to meet him.

"Where is everybody? The doctors the staff?" Shane asked him.

"I'm it. I'm all that's left. Sorry." He shrugged. In front of one computer desk were a couple of bottles of vodka and an empty dirty plate.

"So," Jenner said preparing a syringe.

"Who wants to go first?"

Turn by turn he took our blood and names and labelled them in samples not the workbench.

"You alright? You're looking a bit pale there?" Jenner tried to get my attention but I kept my gaze down.

"Mhm hm, just make it fast." I turned away and felt the prick as my blood was taken up into the syringe.

"Hey," Glenn was sitting next to me and I squeezed his hand keeping my eyes shut.

"All done." Jenner said and he put a bandage around it. I stood up feeling a little dizzy and Glenn steadied me.

"Thanks," I smiled.

"You survived for 6 months on your own killing Walker's but you can't handle a blood test." Shane scoffed smirking.

"Shane," I turned to him and smiled sweetly.

"I will personally take my knife and ram it into your skull if you don't shut up." I finished glaring at him. Rick laughed trying to cover it up with a cough and Lori had an undetectable smile on his face.

"So how long have you two been sleeping together?" Jenner asked looking between Shane and me. The others in the group started laughing whilst I went red.

"I'd sooner sleep with a Walker Dr Jenner." I huffed putting my hands across my chest.

An hour later we were sitting around this big table with Jenner serving us food. He was pouring wine in everyone's glasses.

"Uh not mine thanks." I stopped him.

"Suit yourself," he shrugged and moved to the next person.

"You don't drink?" Carol asked.

"Uh no."

"Why?"

"Just a personal choice." I felt uncomfortable with the amount of eyes on me so Jenner thankfully changed the subject.

"Woah none for Carl." Lori let out a dry chuckle.

"What's it gonna hurt? Come on." Dale argued.

"Eww," Carl said next to me taking a sip as his face contorted.

"I hear you buddy," I patted him on the back as we all laughed.

"That's my boy. That's my boy." Rick giggled looking tipsy. The whole group had a little too much to drink and were falling in fits of giggle and laughter.

"Here's to you doc! Booyah!" T-Dog raised his glass in a toast.

"So when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here doc?" Shane changed the subject taking a long sip of the wine. Maybe he's not as drunk as I thought.

"All the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened, where are they?" He asked looking directly at Dr Jenner who looked uncomfortable.

"We're celebrating we don't need to do this now." Rick slurred slightly.

"Well, when things got bad, people left to be with their families. Then it got worse, the military was overrun so a lot of people bolted." he explained scratching his head.

"All of them?" Shane asked drinking more wine.

"Many of them.. Uh opted out. It was a bad time." He trailed off going into thought.

"Dude, you're such a buzzkill." T-Dog complained looking at Shane. And the others murmured in agreement.

"There are couches for you guys to sleep on. Rec room down the hall for kids to enjoy and if you shower go easy on the hot water." Jenner pointed at us leaving the table.

"Hot water?" Lori said excitedly.

"That's what the man said." Rick grinned. We all retired to the rooms with the couches in. Carol, Sophia and Carl were playing in the rec room. Lori and Rick were in one room, Shane and Glenn took the couches in another room. Dale and Andrea were in the room next to me. I opened the door to the empty room and saw two couches facing each other. I dumped my bag on the floor and sat down. Sighing I shrugged the boots off getting ready to jump in the shower before I heard vomiting from the next room. I walked off trudging my tired feet behind me and knocked tentatively on the door. Pushed it open and saw the bathroom door open in the room with Andrea over the toilet seat.

"Andrea?" I called out. I walked over to her and she was crying.

"That's it. Get it all out." Dale was behind her rubbing her back and holding her hair.

"There's nothing left Dale. Nothing. And this isn't the wine talking." She had tears streaming down her face. It changed to anger upon looking at me.

"What are you doing in here?" She narrowed her eyes and stumbled standing up.

"I just wanted to see, if you were alright." I said quietly.

"Well I'm fine. I don't need you here." She spat our venomously. I held my hands up in surrender and began backing out of the room.

"I'm sorry Andrea. I truly am." I said solemnly before closing the door behind me. I leaned against the door and sighed.

"Hey," a voice called out and Rick was standing there freshly showered. He walked towards me with a smile on his face.

"You can't possibly still be drunk?" I fought the urge to smile at him.

He held up the bottle of wine and grinned taking a swig of it he stumbled forwards slightly.

"Woah there Officer Grimes," I chuckled putting my hands on his chest to steady him

"Take it easy." I looked up at him and I saw his eyes darken. We were so close and I didn't want to pull away. His T-shirt was a size too small and showed off his biceps beautifully. My breath hitched in my throat as he brought his hands up to rest on my arms. I took my hands off his chest still staying close, wondering what could happen.

But it's not right. It's not right to Lori. I took a step back from him before I acted on a whim and did something I would regret. And if he knew the truth about what I did. He would never speak to me again.

"I need to go take a shower," I smiled.

"And you should sleep." I pointed at him.

"It's not my bed time yet," Rick thought for a moment and complained.

"Where you going then?" I said opening the handle of my door.

"For a walk." He called out and began walking off.

"Stay safe!" I shouted. He held the bottle up in the air in response with his back to me and stumbled along the hallway. I opened the door and closed it seeing Daryl standing in the room.

"Oh, Daryl!" I said looking at him as he stood unpacking his backpack.

"Oh I thought this room was empty, I'll go." He began picking his stuff up to leave.

"Wait a minute, where you going?" I asked.

"This is the last room with the couches."

"I'll just sleep out in the hallway or sumthin'" he shrugged.

"Don't be silly," I chuckled.

"Take the other couch." I gestured to the empty one which he was originally sitting on.

"Please Daryl I insist. We don't know how long it'll be until we get another nice place like this." He grunted in response and put his pack down. He took his boots off and laid down on the couch cleaning out his crossbow.

"You showered yet?" I asked him.

"No. You?"

"I'm about to."

"I'll go after." He said. I took the spare clothes and jumped in the shower letting the hot water rub all the grime and dirt off my body. My black hair was still short after the chop I gave it with the knife a month ago but it was growing out a little. After what seemed like forever I got out of the shower and put on clothes drying my hair as I came out.

"All yours," I said to Daryl who was reading a book.

"I'm sorry if I took a bit long." I grimaced.

"It's fine." He got up and went into the bathroom locking it shut. I'm gonna get that one to warm up to me. I smiled, Daryl Dixon was a low-key sweetheart.

After a while I decided to go to the rec room and see Carl and Sophia to make sure they were alright. I reached the outside of the room and heard what sounded like struggles.

"No no no no." I heard a desperate voice. That sounds like Lori.

"I love you, shh shh." Rick?

"No, no you're drunk." She continued. Maybe it was something private, I should leave them alone. I put my ear to the door and heard the table hit the wall. Okay. That's gross.

"I love you. I know there were some things but say you love me too." Shane?! Were Lori and Shane…?

"Shane. Shane! Just stop!" She sounds in trouble. I swung the door open causing them both to look my way. Shane was in the middle of unbuckling his trousers and was standing between Lori's legs who didn't seem to be wearing any trousers. I marched over to the other side of the room throwing Shane off Lori.

"She said no." I stood in front of her glaring at him angrily as he fell to the floor bottle in his hand. He looked up at me and rage filled his eyes as he stood up coming towards me.

"Why are you getting involved? This is none of your goddamn business!" Shane shouted pushing me but I resisted.

"Lori," I turned around seeing the scared woman behind me.

"Lori sweetie, go to your and Rick's room. It'll be okay." I squeezed her hand and she wordlessly left the room.

"You're trying to rape a woman and it's none of my business?!" I raised my voice at him.

"Look you don't know anything." Shane backed up slightly drinking from the bottle.

"Lori and me. We love each other okay. She just feels guilty. We were happy. Happy until you brought Rick back." Oh. So they were sleeping together.

"That gives you no right, apocalypse or not to make advances on her without her consent you piece of shit." I spat out at him.

"And I've seen you." Shane started pointed the bottle at me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You've been making eyes at Rick. Don't try and deny it. Tryin' to seduce him with your british charm." I shook my head.

"These are ridiculous accusations and you have no proof. No proof. I don't know what the hell you're talking about." I crossed my hands over my chest not liking what he was getting it.

"And that doctor. You knew him. I saw your face when he introduced himself. You're hiding somethin' and I'm gunna find out what. Then rick won't want you in this group no more." Shane nodded his head vigorously.

"You've had a bit too much to drink Shane. I think you need to sleep." I walked up to him and gave him a right cross to his face. He fell down on the floor and knocked right out. I threw the blanket over his body and stepped over it leaving the room. I held my hand which started aching. My fist was slightly bloody and completely red.

"Well shit." I sighed trudging back to my room. Daryl had already made himself comfortable on the other couch and had two hands behind his head. He opened his eyes seeing me come in the room holding my fist. He sat up as I sat on the couch opposite him.

"You okay?" He looked at me.

"Uh yeah." Should I tell him? No maybe I'll take it up with Rick tomorrow, he needs to know what Shane really is.

"Did he deserve it?" Daryl asked pointing to my fist.

"Who?" I challenged him to guess.

"Whoever." He shrugged.

"Most definitely." I said smirking.

"Want me to wrap it?" Daryl asked holding linens in his hand. I smiled genuinely at him but shook my head taking the clothes.

"I used to box. I've got this part covered. Thanks though." He nodded and laid back on the sofa hands behind his head.

"Light off or on?"

"Off."

 **A/N: I'm intending to fully develop a close bond either daryl and Pol because I think they're kindred spirits in terms of survival. Pol is actually based on me a little; for example my fave colour, the type of music I like. I really do box as well so I like giving her these little quirks from my own personality and of course I'm british too.**


	4. Chapter 4 - We're Gonna Die, Rick

**A/N: hey everyone! Loving the responses on this fic so I bashed out another chapter for you. I'm not quite sure how I felt about this one but it's not as long of s chapter about 2700 words because I wanted to finish season 1 and start season 2 in a new chapter and I felt like there was no need to drag out the storyline. But some revelations may lie ahead..**

 **Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing! Thank you 95 who has followed and favourited this story! I promise you won't regret it.**

 **frosiedog: haha thank you I thought after hearing Ricks music choice in season 6 I was like great, I found his flaw. Let's at least influence Carl in the right way ;) yeah I have a habit of putting my characteristics in my characters so they're a version of me I'd like to be, so more outspoken or brave etc. Lol punching Shane was the highlight of the last chapter for me. I promise you'll enjoy this lil cute moment I have for Rick...**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: aww thank you! You're so sweet and yes Shane definitely tried to rape Lori in that scene, it was not consensual at all and I wanted to put that across! I'm glad you're enjoying my writing of this story.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any of the affiliated characters and plot lines. Only my OC and my storyline.**

"Wake up sunshine." My eyes fluttered open and the light in the room was on. Daryl was putting on his boots. I pulled the blanket over my eyes and he dragged it away.

"Hey, wake up." He nudged my leg.

"Go away." It came out muffled.

"We're having breakfast. Let's go. Otherwise you'll get no food." I threw the blanket off and sat up.

"I'm up. Happy." I glared at the man who was walking round the room.

"How are you not hungover?" I asked him.

"I woke up early. Got everythin' out then." He explained lacing up his boots.

"Thanks for that visual." I scrunched up my nose. I brushed my teeth and got changed following the corridor back to the room we were eating it.

"That smells good." I all but licked my lips.

"Hello." I said to Carl, Sophia and Carol who were tucking into powdered eggs. Carol waved and smiled at me whilst Carl spoke through his food.

"Hi Dr Jenner." I said to the man entering the room with a frying pan and putting it in a plate. He gave me a wave and went back to get more food. T-Dog and Jacqui were sitting around the table. T-Dog had his face in his hands and I chuckled. Hungover. Jacqui mouthed to me and I nodded. Andrea and Dale entered the room followed by Daryl who plopped down on the chair to eat. I sat beside him and waited for more food to come.

"Good morning!" I beamed at Rick who held a hand to his head.

"Shh," he closed his eyes.

"Are you hungover?" Carl looked at his dad.

"Oh for sure kid. He is." I grinned as he sat down opposite me next to Carl.

"Mom said you'd be." He said decidedly stuffing food in his mouth.

"Mom is right. Mom has that annoying habit." Rick said rubbing his face.

"Such a lightweight." I teased nudging his arm with my hand.

"I bet you think this is hilarious." He narrowed his eyes as everyone around the table started laughing. Even Daryl cracked a smile.

"Mornin' everyone," Lori came in the room smiling but her eyes were puffy. I looked at her and gave her a reassuring smile which she ignored.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked which seemed nonchalant to the rest of the group.

"Fine." She said with a tight lipped smile.

"Your husband can't hold his drink." I pointed to Rick who glared at me playfully.

"I've known that for a while." Lori smirked and sat down next to him rubbing his arm.

"Hey," Shane said walking in the room.

"Hey," Rick said looking at him. He came round to sit at the head of the table with a blueish mark under his eye. Where I punched him. I tried not to smile at how everyone noticed it.

"Feel as bad as I do?" Rick asked narrowing his eyes at Shane.

"Worse."

"Man what happened to your eye?" He pointed and everyone looked at it. I could feel Daryl giving me a sidelook and I lowered my right hand under the table.

"I think I walked into something like the wall. I was crazy drunk." Shane chuckled and glanced up at me. I snorted then tried to cover it up with a cough.

"If the wall had a fist." Rick joked.

"This is nice an' all doc but we came here for some answers. And I don't really wanna bother you with questions first thing," Shane began.

"But that's what you're gonna do," Dr Jenner sighed.

"Follow me." Everyone finished their food and got up to follow him to the control room. My stomach started hurting again and I lifted the shirt up to check. Phew the stitches are holding.

"Lori," I called out gently to her and pulled her arm back so we were alone from the rest of the group.

"How are you really?"

"A little shaken up but I'll be fine." She sniffled not meeting my eyes.

"Hey you can talk to me." I nudged her gently. I can honestly say she was becoming a good friend, she took care of me. Now it was my turn to take care of her.

"It's morning I encouraged him I think maybe I-I hinted to him or somethin," she trailed off trying to defend his actions.

"You don't need to defend anything he did. What he did was not right, it was abuse plain and simple. Have you talked to Rick yet?"

"No. I haven't." My jaw dropped slightly.

"You're not gonna tell him?" I asked her shocked.

"He just got us back, his family and Shane's his best friend. Rick needs to lead this group and he needs our support, the last thing he needs to worry himself with this." She said putting her hands on her hips.

"But Lori," I began but she cut me off.

"Please just don't tell him. Please." She begged me and I looked into her eyes.

"Fine. If that's what you want." I smiled but sighed rubbing her arm. Just another secret to keep.

We began walking off towards the main control room to join the others.

"I like what you've done with Shane's face though." She said grinning.

"Oh I'm glad." I laughed as we rejoined the others. They were looking up at the giant screen at the front of the room which was showing a scan of a human brain.

"Few people ever get a chance to see this." Jenner explained playing the video.

"What are the lights?" Rick asked.

"Those are the electrical impulses firing between the neurons at the synapses. It's what makes us up, our memories, thoughts, desires." I glanced at Rick quickly before clearing my throat and looking back on the screen.

"Are you a scientist Pol?" Jenner asked looking at me curiously.

"Uh I was. I worked in research." The rest of the group looked at me in shock. Rick looked surprise as with the rest of the group but Shane looked suspicious.

"She's right anyways. In all that organic wiring is the soul. It's what makes us human." Jenner said eyeing the screen closely. The lights in the brain suddenly went out.

"What was that?" Shane asked.

"The moment of death." I muttered.

"The soul determines everything a person says to the moment of death.

"Is that what happened? This person died?" Shane asked the doctor who nodded slowly.

"Who is it?" I asked him and a painful look crossed his face.

"Test subject 19, they were bitten and infected. And volunteered to have us record the process."

"Vi scan forward to the first event". The playback was forwarded until an image of the brain was shown once more.

"It invades the brain, like meningitis." A parasite that's what it is. An aggressive viral strain which was incorporated into a lentiviral vector which combats HIV inside T-lymphocytes. It was successful in animal trials then we reached clinical phase human trials on army veterans. It didn't go so well.

Dr Jenner forwarded the vigil to the second event where the brain is shown in red.

"Resurrection times vary. For this patient it was 2 hours." Smaller red lights started travelling up to the the base of the brain.

"It restarts the brain stem. You tell me if you think that's life."

"It's not. The front cortex, the part that makes us human looks lifeless." I spoke up causing Rick to look straight at me. Suddenly the lights in the brain went out as something went through it.

"You shot your patient." I said with raised eyebrows still staring at the screen. The countdown appeared on the screen working its way down to 0. My eyes widened. Oh no. Oh no no no. Facility wide decontamination. I had been informed about this protocol in emergencies before I came to the CDC.

"Oh," I said softly and Rick was standing next to me.

"What is it?" He asked turning to look at me. He bent down slightly to look into my eyes.

"We're gonna die Rick."

"I'm sorry Doctor I know this has been taxing for you, but what happens when the countdown reaches 0." Shane asked him and Dr Jenner remained silent. Tell them you idiot please so I don't have to.

"The basement generators run out of fuel. Then the power runs out." He explained shutting down the workstations.

"And then?"

"Facility wide decontamination." He said before leaving the room. I closed my eyes and they felt hot suddenly as they were filled with tears.

"Decontamination?" Glenn asked quietly.

"What does that mean?" Rick looked around the group then looked at me.

"This whole facility is going to blow up." Half of the group were in the shock and began panicking.

"Wh-what?" Rick stuttered. I was about to put my hand on his back but the fact Lori was standing there clutching Carl stopped me.

"Come on," I nudged him and together we ran after Jenner with the rest of the group in towZ

"If we don't get out of here soon, we're gonna die Rick." I sighed wiping my eyes slightly. I had finally found a home with a new group and we were going to die in the CDC. Rick and I ran off after Dr Jenner with the others following suit. The lights went out in the corridor and it was pitch black.

"Rick?" I asked in a small voice reaching in the dark for him.

"I'm here." He said calmly.

"follow my voice." I held out my hand and hit the wall.

"Where?" I asked panicking slightly.

"It's okay. Stay calm." I reached my hand forward and felt his hand. He grasped my hand in his and we walked forward touching the wall. If I wasn't freaking out so much about the dark I would cheer right now. Thank god its dark because I'm blushing so hard.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said, he squeezed my hand in response and walked forward.

"Ow!" I said feeling someone step on my heel.

"Oh sorry,"

"Glenn?"

"Yep."

"Where are the others?"

"We're here." Daryl called out.

"Carol? Sophia?" I asked into the darkness.

"We're with Daryl." Carol replied breathing heavily.

"Where's Rick?" Shane asked from far away.

"Uh he's with me." I said blushing in the dark.

"Lori? Carl? You alright?" Rick asked.

"We're fine sweetie." Lori replied coming up beside me. The backup side lights turned on and I released Rick's hand quickly before anyone could see.

"Pol?" Glenn asked curiously looking at my flushed face.

"I'm good." I grimaced and saw Rick glance at me out of the corner of my eye.

"I just checked the generators." T-Dog came up to us.

"Anything?" Rick asked.

"Lot of dead generators and empty fuel cans."

"The air conditioning's stopped." I said looking up feeling hot in the hallway. Rick pushed open a door and saw the lights were off.

"The air is off. And the lights in our rooms." He said head leaning into the room.

"Why is everything being turned off?" Sophia asked Carol.

"Energy use is being prioritised." Jenner was standing in front of us looking solemn.

"Air isn't a priority?" Shane walked up to Jenner until he was almost in his face.

"It's not up to me." He shrugged and began walking back to the control room.

"Zone 5 is shutting itself down." We went after him as the countdown clock was nearing 30 minutes.

"We need to get out." I said worriedly to Rick and he nodded.

"What happened?" He asked Jenner walking fast to keep up with him.

"No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuels. It's stupid." Jenner scoffed.

"To hell with it. Lori grab our things, everyone grab your stuff. We're leaving." I began running towards the door to get to my pack as it started closing, I ran faster and jumped through the crack as it slammed shut behind me.

"No!" I shouted pounding the door.

"Are you guys alright?" I shouted.

"Yeah we're okay! Jenner locked us in!." Rick shouted.

"I'll figure this out." I said thoughtfully.

"How much time do I have left? The exact time!"

"30 minutes from now!" He shouted and I synced my watch.

"I can't make a dent!" I heard hitting against the metal.

"Daryl?" I asked against the door.

"Yeah! it's me. You okay?" I could hear this southern drawl. I felt a pang in my heart, Daryl honestly felt like a friend to me whether he'd want to admit it or not.

"I'm fine Dixon! Im gonna gather up all your packs and put them near the front of the building. I'm working on a way to get you guys out." I reassured him.

"Okay," He didn't sound convinced.

"Be safe!" I walked away from the door and ran down the hallway to all of the rooms. It took me 15 minutes to gather everyone's stuff and carry it through the elevator to the entrance we all came in, until there was a pile by the front door. I ran back down to basement level below Zone 5 to check the generators. The main lights were off showing it was conserving energy and I found it slightly difficult to breathe. I went back outside the door to the control room and pulled out a paper and pen.

It's getting a little difficult to breathe out here. How's everyone holding up in there?

\- P

I pounded my fist against the metal door and slid the paper through the gap. I sat down in front of it waiting for a reply. A minute later the paper was shoved back:

Yeah the air's a little thin in here. Everyone's pretty quiet but we're managing. Any luck?

\- Rick

We went back and forth having a conversation on the paper so we wouldn't have to shout and could conserve the air.

I'm working on it.

\- P

None of this is your fault Pol. None of it.

\- Rick

"Oh Rick if only you knew how wrong you were." I said out loud to myself finally letting the tears fall.

Thanks. Sit tight Officer Grimes.

\- P

I ran to the front where the glass doors and emergency exits were sealed off. We could.. No it's too crazy. As soon as we break the glass the missiles would reach this place. We'd have 2 minutes but it's our best chance. I ran back to the outside of Zone 5 and began scribbling a note on the piece of paper when suddenly an alarm went off and the doors changed open. Everyone ran out charging for the exit. I walked fast and struggled to keep up with my stomach still healing but talked as I ran.

"How did you get out?" I asked incredulously.

"Jenner let us out!" Rick shouted as we ran through the building.

"We've got 4 minutes till this place blows."

"I've got an idea. But we don't have the gunpowder to break the glass." I said.

"We'll figure it out. Come on." We reaches the front of the building where everyone grabbed a pack and Shane and Rick held up their rifles.

"Where's Jacqui, Andrea and Dale?" I asked the group who looked down.

"They chose to stay." Lori said. My eyes widened as I took in the news. I never even got to apologise like I wanted to Andrea about Amy, this is my fault.

"Rick I've got something." Carol said reaching into her pocket. She pulled out a grenade which I gasped in shock at.

"Well aren't you full of surprises." Carol smiled as Rick pulled the pin.

"Get down!" Shane shouted as it was thrown and the glass shattered. We ran through the building and I pulled out my knife stabbing walkers as we reached the RV and the cars. I was stuffed in the car with Rick, Lori and Carl in the backseat, when Dale and Andrea came out of the building.

"They're going to make it!" I gasped excitedly. They scrambled into the RV along with T-Dog and Glenn as the building blew up and the sky was filled with flames.

 **A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't as good as you expected or that you expected more but I didn't feel there was anything that needed to be extended in this. I promise it'll be better from the next one!**


	5. Chapter 5 - Stay Here Sweetie

**A/N: I am astonished by the amount of people reading my story! I never knew it would be so popular. I actually had no plans to upload a chapter today because I've been awake since 6am handing in my university thesis, but I just had to give you guys this one because I thought of s really good idea. You're gonna think I'm evil... but to make up for the evilness k bring I also give you Rick/Polaris moments you'll love!**

 **thanks to Beertjes and Supra18 for following this story and frosiedog!**

 **frosiedog: haha yes Polaris is a smart girl and whilst things may look bleak for this chapter she'll get her own back. Yes I wonder what Shane will do...**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: you are incredibly supportive of my story and I love resident beauty your reviews! Yes I definitely thought it best to start season 2 freshly as I had new ideas. I wonder what you'll think of this hehe...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any of their affiliated characters and storyline. Only my OC and my plotlines.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

We had been on on the road for 2 days and we made camp Just off the highway. Me and Dale were on duty but he had fallen asleep so I told him to go inside the RV leaving me on the top with the rifle. Which I had no idea how to shoot.

"I guess I'm losing hope that you can hear me." I looked over the side of the RV seeing Rick talk into a walkie talkie.

"I tried to do everything right. I tried to keep people safe Morgan." This is private. I shouldn't listen but I can't help myself.

"So there's just a few of us now. We gotta stick together. Fight for each other and lay down our lives for each other. If it comes to that." Rick gave out a large sigh running his hands through his hair.

"Be careful out there. This is me signing off." Rick closed the walkie talkie and turned around. I quickly scrambled back from leaning over the edge and sat on the RV with the rifle putting a headphone in humming to the explosive sound of Black Sabbath.

"Dale," I nudged him and he woke up with a shock.

"It's almost light I'll take watch." Dale muttered tiredly and climbed down the ladder getting into the RV.

"Hey Officer," I called out as Rick turned around to find the noise then looked up smiling.

"North Star shining above me."

"That was incredibly cheesy." I rolled my eyes. Inside I was blushing like mad and hoped he couldn't see it.

"What are you doing by yourself?" He looked around then back up at me.

"Keeping watch." I said simply.

"Alone?"

"I don't mind." I shrugged, to be honest I liked the quiet. Rick climbed up the ladder and sat next to me, legs dangling over the edge.

"And now you're not." He nudged my knee with his smiling slightly.

"You don't have to."

"I want to." Rick looked deep into my eyes and I was sucked into his sapphire blue pools. I felt myself leaning close to him seeing the rising sun hit his face but I caught myself and leaned back. I looked down at the ground biting my lip.

"So, What are you listening to?" He said looking at my CD player. I handed him an earphone and pressed play, Iron Man blasting in his ear. He listened for about 30 seconds and pulled it back out.

"Let me guess you don't like it?" I squinted trying to see his reaction.

"It's not bad actually." Rick said admittedly.

"I thought you're more of the. Yee has! Howdy!" I tried my best at a southern accent. Rick started laughing and he sound made so happy I remembered when I never thought I would find good human contact again.

"What?" I chuckled laughing with him.

"I find that kinda offensive." He said.

"Sorry." I grimaced.

"I said I'd teach you to shoot didn't I?" Rick said suddenly.

"Yes you did Mr Grimes." He stood up and pulled out his gun handing it to me.

"Okay you gotta plant your feet." He stood with his feet slightly apart and I followed suit.

"Take the gun in both hands since you're learning. And aim with one eye closed." He demonstrated and handed the gun to me.

I pulled out the gun in front of me and aimed into the distance closing an eye.

"Just hold the gun slightly lower." Rick placed his hand on my forearm pushing it down slightly and I suddenly noticed how close he was standing to me. I was sure he could hear my heart pounding in my chest, I could feel his breathing on my neck as he bent down to my level.

"God. I forget you're so short." He teased and I nudged him with my elbow.

"Safety off." I clicked it back and placed one finger on the trigger.

"Then you shoot. Don't actually do it though." He smiled.

"Okay I think I got it." A stray Walker came rolling into the camp snarling and blood dripping.

"Time to practise on the job." Rick said standing with his arms crossed. He placed the silencer on the end of the gun quickly and then I aimed with one eye and shot. The Walker was hit in the arm and kept going.

"It's okay try again." Rick remained calm. I aimed again for the head this time as it rambled close to the car Lori and Carl were in. I took my shot and hit it in the head, the Walker collapsing to the ground.

"Very nice." Rick said nodding.

"You'll be a pro in no time." He smiled.

"You're a good teacher." I said as we sat back down on the roof watching the sunrise.

"So you said back at the CDC you worked in research?" Rick asked. I wish you wouldn't Rick.

"Yeah I did." I said and he gestured for me to go on.

"Uhm it was in working on treatments for HIV, in Washington."

"Wow that's impressive." Rick said not pressing any further.

"What about you Mr. police officer I save people?" I smirked.

"It's a noble profession. And definitely useful now."

"I guess." Rick grinned.

"I was all about writing research papers, I had no idea how to survive when this broke out." I said thinking about the first day.

"But you did Pol." He nudged my shoulder.

"You know what's not fair," I started.

"What?"

"How your hair looks amazing when it's greasy." I moaned and Rick laughed.

"It does not." Rick defended.

"Yes it is! It remains adorably curly." I said before I could stop myself.

"Personally I'm a fan of this pixie cut you got going on." He gestured to my hair and I smiled.

"Thanks," I chuckled.

"You must be tired. Why don't you sleep, and I'll take watch for a couple hours." Rick said patting my knee.

"You sure?"

"Yeah I got this." He said sitting on the chair with the rifle.

"Sure you'll be able to handle those walkers without me?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I'm not sure but I'll do my best." He gave me one last dazzling smile as I climbed down the RV grinning. I think he's consciously aware that I'm unintentionally flirting with him. I want to crawl into a hole. Argh. I climbed into the front seat of the car and closed my eyes leaning back against the seat and dreamed about a certain Sheriff with blue eyes.

—

I had started waking up but I still felt in a sleepy daze.

"Come on y'all. Look around, gather what you can." T-Dog's voice rang out from outside. I could hear the car stop moving and the doors opened.

"Should I wake her?" Rick asked.

"Nah let her sleep." Lori said.

—

I heard harsh knocking on the window and jumped seeing Shane standing there. I made a face at him seeing he was in a particularly bad mood.

I rolled down the window scowling at him.

"What do you want?" I said annoyed I wasn't woken up by someone else. Literally anyone else.

"I know your secret." He said in a low voice.

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about." I scoffed, what bullshit is he trying to come up with now.

"You're the reason for this shitty apocalyptic world." He stated. I stopped in shock and stared at him.

"Oh yes." He smiled.

"You have no proof." I tried not to show the shakiness in my voice. He opened his pack and pulled out a piece of paper with my whole name, picture and accomplishments. With the CDC logo on top.

"H-how?" I stuttered.

"Oh I pulled it from the private archives of the CDC. It says here you were apparently part of a private team of researchers to find s treatment for HIV but one of your team got infected. And then the infection spread." He said.

"It's all your fault. I wonder if Rick knows." He spelt out smirking. My eyes widened before I could stop my reaction.

"Ah So He doesn't." Shane ran a hand through his hair.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"You're gonna do exactly as I say." Shane said.

"How would that help you?"

"Rick listens to you. People in this group listen to you, if I say I don't want to do something. It's your job to convince them not to do it. If I want to go to Lori. You can't stop me. And if you don't agree, I'll tell everyone your dirty secret and you'll be kicked out of this group for sure. I may even hurt Rick." Shane finished smiling.

"I'll do what you say just don't bring the others into this. Don't hurt Lori or Carl. Don't hurt Rick." I said softly.

"So you do care for him." Shane said eyeing me with curiosity.

"I'm glad we could come to an arrangement." He hit the top of the car and went with the others. I let out the breath I was holding and started breathing heavily. He knew! If he told the others, I don't know what they would think of me. I would have to leave, survive on my own. I'd have to leave Rick.

"Hey Pol," Glenn chirped.

"Oh hi," I plastered a smile on my face.

"What's up?"

"So there's an insane amount of cars in the road and the RV needs new radiator hose, we're looking round for new parts and any supplies we can find. Look I found all this water!" He said happily.

"Well at least we won't die of thirst." I joked.

"Wanna help?"

"Yep I'm coming." I got out of the car and walked after Glenn seeing Carol open the trunk of the car.

"Ed never let me wear nice things like this." She picked up a frilly top.

"I say take em." I smiled at her and she took the suitcase of clothes out to bring to the RV.

"Carl, Sophia. Stay within my sight!" Rick ordered them.

"Hey sleepyhead." Rick smiled.

"Hi," I stretched my arms out hearing the bones crack.

"Good sleep?"

"It was alright." Ruined by Shane blackmailing me and threatening your life.

"Hey Polaris." Lori said wrapping an arm around Rick.

"Lori," I nodded.

"I hope you don't mind I borrowed your CD in the car. You got good taste in music sweetie." She said.

"Woman after my own heart." I smirked at her and she laughed.

"Oh Christ." Lori said seriously. I turned around and saw a couple of Walkers stumbling our way.

"We can take em." I said.

"No look." I looked again and saw the entire horde.

"Everyone get under the cars!" Rick shouted as everyone scrambled for safety.

Lori and Carol got under one car and Rick got under the one next to it.

"Carl! Sophia!" I shouted pulling them with me under the car and feeling my knees scrapes against the tarmac. My stomach hit the pavement and I felt pain. Carl and Sophia were either side of me and I kept my arms around them pulling out my knife.

Lori and Carol looked at us worriedly and I nodded at them. I would keep their children safe.

"Okay?" I mouthed at them and Carl nodded staying quiet. Sophia was tearful and I stroked her hair trying to calm her down. She was struggling against me and tried to get out from under the car.

"No no, stay here sweetie." I whispered calmly to her and she nodded burying her face in my side. Rick looked at me and nodded. I had to stay calm for the sake of the kids. The Walkers moaned and groaned walking past the cars. One Walker fell to the ground with a crunch and began growling towards us. I thrusted the knife into it as it bleed out onto our clothes.

Sophia started sobbing and whimpering .

"Stay quiet Sophia." I encouraged her. Just when most of the horde had passed Sophia began crawling out from the edge of the car when her ankle was grabbed. She started screaming and crying.

"No! Sophia!" I shouted as she was dragged away. I got Carl and myself out of the car as shots were fired. Suddenly Sophia was gone and everyone was out from the cars shooting.

"My baby!" Carol shouted panicking.

"I'll find her!" Rick shouted running off into the woods.

"Rick!" I said going after him.

"T-Dog's hurt!" Daryl called over shooting a few Walkers with his crossbow. I limped over to him holding my stomach and ripped a piece of my jacket seeing his arm sliced open.

"You're injured." Daryl pointed out and I shook my head.

"It's going to need stitches."

"I'll do that." Lori said.

"I'll bring Rick back. And Sophia." I looked at Carol and Lori nodding and ran off.

"Pol!" Lori shouted. I had my knife out and stumbled through the woods trying to find tracks. But there was no sign of Rick and no sign of Sophia. I came across a river with a shelter made of wooden trunks. I looked inside finding Sophia's shoe but no Sophia. I ran back the way I came onto the highway seeing Rick standing here.

"Thank god." I sighed seeing him standing safe. I engulfed him in a quick hug.

"I didn't know what happened." He looked slightly shocked by the hug but returned it nonetheless.

"I found Sophia's shoe. But no Sophia?" I asked but Ricks eyes were filled with tears.

"I-I told her to wait there while I lead the Walkers away. But when I came back, she wasn't there." He stuttered.

We walked back to the same spot with Rick, Glenn, Shane and Daryl.

"Sure this is the spot?" Daryl asked looking around and reading the muddy tracks on the riverbank.

"I left here right there. I drew the Walkers away in that direction up the creek." Rick explained mussing his hair.

"Without a paddle." Glenn commented.

"Sorry." He grimaced seeing the looks we gave him.

"She was gone by the time I got back here. I figured she ran off back to the group." Rick said frustratedly.

"Maybe she didn't understand you?" Shane suggested and I was about to comment until he gave me a knowing look and I bit my tongue.

"Shane she understood me fine." Rick said dismissively.

"Kids tired and scared man." Shane defended.

"Found tracks. They lead back to the highway." We followed Daryl back when he stopped reading the ground once more.

"She veered off that way." He said.

"Why?" Glenn asked.

"Maybe she got spooked." Daryl said gruffly as we continued to follow him.

"Shane you and Glenn should go back to the highway. Try and calm everyone down." Rick said as both agreed.

"Think Pol should come with us." Shane stated. Fuck off asshole.

"Why?" Daryl asked slightly defensively.

"Her stomachs still injured she's been limping and she should rest." Dammit he noticed.

"Pol?" Rick asked and I glanced at Shane who was staring.

"Yeah I'll go back with them." Daryl gave me a look asking if I was alright and I nodded. We got back to the highway and saw Carol, Lori and Carl standing there with Dale looking over T-Dog.

"Did you find her?" Carol ran towards us and I shook my head.

"We should all be out looking instead of moving cars." Carol said.

"We need to clear the highway for the RV." Dale came over sweating.

"We have fuel so we can double back to a bypass Glenn marked out. It'll be easier going back than trying to get through this mess." Lori pointed to behind us.

"We're not going anywhere till my daughter gets back."

"That goes without saying." I put my hand on her shoulder sympathetically.

"I'm still freaked out by that herd." I shuddered remembering how the night camp got attacked the same way. Carl and I opened cars trying to find resources before we moved them, we opened the trunk of a car and found weapons.

"Shane." Carl called out calling the man over.

"Carl, what happened?" He asked.

"I found something cool. It's an arsenal." He grinned.

"Good boy, go give em to Dale." He said dismissively. What was his problem?

"It is cool buddy!" I ruffled his hair and he ducked smiling at me.

"But those hatchets are sharp so maybe give them to Dale." I suggested.

"Can I Keep one?" He asked blue eyes stating at me.

"Maybe when you're older. Even I'm not allowed." I whispered laughing and Carl smiled.

"Hey man go give them all to Dale now." Shane emphasised seemingly in a bad mood.

"What was that Shane you just blew him off?" Lori came looking completely annoyed with him.

"Honestly you're giving me the cold shoulder?" Lori asked incredulously as Shane remained silent.

"Isn't that what you wanted? Me away from you both?" He asked.

"When you tried-"

"When I tried to what Lori?" He challenged.

"When you attacked her." I interjected glaring at Shane. To hell with his threats.

"Forgot everything we talked about Pol?" Shane threatened and Lori looked at me curiously before back at Shane.

"No she's right. I think you need to leave, You're a danger Shane." Lori said folding her arms over her chest.

"Oh I'm not going anywhere. I still got some cards to play." He looked at me during the last sentence as Lori walked off shaking her head. I was about to follow her when he pulled me back holding my arm. When Rick held my arm he did it with tenderness and I felt it in my heart. When Shane touched me, it was so predatory I was scared.

"That was a mistake Pol." Shane tsked testing the guns out in his hand.

"Let go," I hissed feeling his nails dig into my arms.

"Now you're gonna do something for me. You're gonna convince Lori to let me stay, because otherwise she'll tell Rick and I'll be gone for sure." Shane explained trying to work on the car.

"Why should I? I'm perfectly fine with you leaving." I scoffed.

"A little piece of paper and a threat on Rick says differently." He smiled venomously.

"Off you go." I left Shane's grasp and walked towards Lori who was cleaning out the guns.

"Hey." I said and she looked up.

"Hi."

"Listen I know you want Shane gone," I began.

"And you don't?" She said surprised.

"Oh I do don't get me wrong. But maybe right now isn't the best time for him to leave."

"Why? After what he did to me?" Lori raised her voice slightly looking upset.

"What he did to you was completely unwarranted and disgraceful, but Lori Sophia's missing. At the moment we need all the help we can get." I said looking at her as she continued cleaning the barrels.

"That doesn't mean I have to like it." She sighed as I gave her a brief nod leaving her alone. I hated that. I had to defend a rapist to a woman who was becoming a friend to me.

"Andrea," I said coming into the van hands up.

"What?" She said annoyed.

"What do you possibly have to say to me?" She asked.

"Just that I'm completely remorseful over the way I acted with your sister and I regret killing her the way I did. I had no right to do that." I said ashamed that I damaged her that badly she couldn't bring herself to look at me.

"Damn right you had no right to do that. None." She said angrily.

"I know why you did it. But it doesn't make it any less painful for me. I don't hate you for it but it doesn't mean we have to be friends." Andrea sighed.

"And I accept that." I nodded.

"Dammit where's my gun?"

"I saw Dale rummaging through your pack earlier." I said helpfully.

"Thanks." She said shortly.

"You has no right to take it." She came out of the RV and rounded on Dale.

"They're back!" Carl shouted. I walked out of the RV seeing Rick and Daryl's fed up faces. But no Sophia.

"You didn't find her?" Carol said worriedly.

"Trail went cold." Daryl couldn't meet her eyes.

"We'll pick it up again first light." Rick said firmly.

"You didn't find anything?" Carol's voice started wavering as she began to panic. I rubbed her back trying to comfort her.

"I know this is hard but I'm asking you not to panic. Daryl found her trail and I've asked him to oversee the whole thing." Rick said calmly.

The next day we all of us except for Dale and T-Dog went out into the woods armed with rifles and guns following the trail Daryl established yesterday. There were Walker remains littered along but no Sophia. The forest got thicker and thicker and the undergrowth was getting too much around my short legs.

"Want me to carry you." Daryl stated cutting down the leaves in front of me to walk properly.

"Real funny." I narrowed my eyes and heard him snort. The sound of bells filled the air and the whole group was alert running towards it. We reached and old church which was barricaded and broke inside. The benches were still intact along with a statue of Jesus to match.

"The bells are on some kind of timer." Rick came out of the steeple. We came out of the area seeing nobody around. Well this sucks. Carol was inside praying for Sophia to come back. I walked back outside the church seeing Andrea talk to Shane.

"I know Lori was trying to get you to leave and that you don't want to. But if you do I'll come with you." I gasped slightly. Well this is an interesting turn of events.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." Shane scoffed. He still had some cards to play.

"I see two people who don't belong. We're the odd men out." Andrea said leaning against the wall with him.

"Put a gun in my hand and I'll cover you." She said to him.

"Look I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you." He said.

"Gotta move man everyone's tired." Shane said to Rick who I followed to Shane and Andrea.

"I can't stop yet. I can't go back. This is my fault." Rick said passionately.

"I can come with you." I said speaking up.

"You up for this?" He asked studying me.

"Definitely. It's my fault too. I should've kept a tighter hold of her under the car." I said feeling guilty.

"I'm entitled to agree with that." Shane said and Rick's face contorted in anger.

"What's the plan?" Lori came up before he had the chance to do anything.

"Me and Pol are gonna keep searching for another hour before we get back."

"You're splitting us up?" Glenn asked.

"Don't worry we'll catch up to you." I assured him and he put his hand on my shoulder before walking off.

"I wanna stay too. I'm her friend." Carl came into the talk.

"Just be careful." Lori said giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Take this." Rick gave his gun to Lori.

"I've got a spare don't worry." Lori looked at him unsure before taking the gun and a magazine clip.

Carl, Rick and me set off under the trees to look for Sophia once more. We came to clearing before Carl stopped moving and turned back to us grinning. About 10 feet in front of us was a deer grazing in the leaves. Carl edged closer to it snapping the branches. I reached for the gun I had before Rick put his hand over mine stopping me and smiled looking at Carl. He was about to stroke the deer when we heard a gunshot. And Carl dropped to the floor.

 **A/N: I'm curious to know what you thought of my spin...**


	6. Chapter 6 - You Have To Stay Calm

**A/N: hey y'all, fully rested from stressful deadlines and I've got an amazing action-packed eventful chapter for you all! I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story and it makes me so happy seeing when new people follow and favourite this! this chapter has it all, intimate moments, action, heartbreak, twists and surprises. So sit back, relax and try not to kill me once you're done reading this...**

 **Thanks to my new story follower JasminJW and my reviewers! As always your comments make my day.**

 **FnafanimeGirl109: Aww thanks so much! I know Shane's a dick and his blackmailing is unacceptable! But that's how this story goes unfortunately :3, you're gonna hate him more at the end of this lol. I'm not gonna say shane was a good guy in the series but I think he definitely loved Lori and Carl and he would do ANYTHING for his survival.**

 **JasminJW: You're so sweet! I hope you continue to enjoy this story x**

 **frosiedog: haha don't worry I intend to have plenty of cute parts to come! I know I thought since Sophia seemed older to me than Carl that she would have some sense in that scene.. anyways I don't need to make Shane be a knobhead he's doing a great job of that on his own. I'm curious to think what you'll make of this!**

 **Now this is the sixth chapter I'm uploading and I'm thinking of giving myself a break on the weekends and not upload so I have plenty of chapters to give you during the week. we'll see anyways.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or its affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and my plotlines.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

"Carl! No Carl!" Rick ran out of the bushes and to Carl who was lying on the ground unconscious. The deer was also on the ground with a hole through it. A bullet hole.

"Rick!" I shouted running after him as he held Carl in his arms sobbing.

"Rick look at me!" I put my hands on his face forcing him to face me with tears streaming down them.

"You have to stay calm. Can you do that?" I asked him stroking his cheek gently and felt the stubble there.

"Yeah," I took my hands off his face. Shit where did that come from.

Rick lifted him up into his arms and I took the rifle from him as we began walking back. From behind us I heard rustling and I stood in front of Rick and Carl with the rifle our arms shaking slightly.

"You got this." Rick said slowly.

"Who's there?" I asked assertively.

"Come out!" I shouted taking the safety off ready to fire. A taller bigger man came out with no hair holding his rifle up in one hand and his hand up in surrender breathing heavily.

"Oh God. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." He began panicking. I looked back at Carl's lifeless body in Ricks arms and up at him as we wore the same expression of shock on his face.

"Hey! I will shoot you!" I said unsteadily. My hands hovering over the trigger.

"You did this?! Have you got a house?" I pressed him and he didn't answer stuttering.

"Answer me asshole!"

"Y-yeah I'll lead you to him." I took the rifle from his hand and swung it over my shoulder nudging the man along.

"Move!" I said getting him to walk faster.

"How is he Rick?" I glanced back at the man holding is son and he mouthed wordlessly.

"Keep it together." I squeezed his shoulder gently.

"Hey. How much longer?" I shouted seeing Rick struggle with Carl.

"Another half a mile, that way. Hershel, talk to Hershel. He'll help your boy." The man called Otis said leading us to some open fields with fences.

"Rick I'll take him." He looked reluctant to give him to me.

"Rick you're exhausted. I'll keep him safe I promise." I looked up at the blue eyed man who's eyes were wide with worry. He nodded handing Carl over to my carefully and I picked him up and it's his arms around my neck. He was surprisingly light and Rick took the rifle pointing it at Otis.

"Let's go! Come on!" Rick shouted at Otis who walked faster until we reached a house. We were both drenched in sweat and Rick was half crying and panting. We passed a gate into the house and an old man and family stood with a baseball bad stood outside the door.

"Was he bit?" He asked.

"Shot. By your man!" Rick said angrily.

"He said find Hershel. Is that you?" I panted out as the old man looked at me.

"Help me, help my boy." Rick said crying and Hershel ushered us into the house. We walked through the hallway as I put Carl onto the bed feeling my midsection ache. I pressed my hand onto my stomach seeing a little blood seep through. Shit not again. I inwardly groaned. Hershel saw me holding my stomach.

"I'll tend to that." He said and I nodded.

"Is he alive?" Rick said around Hershel who tried to work. He's not giving him enough space.

I walked over to Rick and pulled him back away from the bed. I sat him down on the chair as he watched Hershel work tears in his eyes. An older woman and what seemed like Hershel's daughters with blonde and brunette hair came into the room and started preparing the equipment.

"What do you need?" I came to Hershel trying to ignore the pain.

"Put pressure on the wound." He instructed. I took an old pillow case and lifted up Carl's shirt pressing it down.

Hershel put his stethoscope on and began feeling for a heartbeat. I felt Rick standing beside me as I pressed down.

"I found a heartbeat. Maggie I need an IV!" He said to the young brown haired girl. The older blonde woman gently nudged Rick and I back.

"What are your names sweetie?" She asked us both.

"Polaris," I replied as she took over.

"Uh Rick." He said shakily.

"Polaris thanks for your help. Rick I'm gonna do everything we can okay?" Hershel said as the youngest girl led us over to the next room. I sat down and hissed as pain when Rick suddenly looked at me.

"You're hurt." He pointed out snapping out of his worry.

"I'm fine." I said waving a hand then groaned feeling the blood drip down my shirt.

"Hey my friend's hurt!" Rick shouted to them leaning down in front of me.

"Beth!" Hershel shouted and the blonde haired girl came out with a needle and thread.

"Rick I'm gonna need you to move aside slightly." Beth said calmly. She couldn't be more than 17 as she lifted my shirt up. I looked at Rick who came beside me and held my hand. He would glance back to where Carl was every few minutes as I gripped his hand Beth took long to sew up the wound which was now completely secure. She got up and started to leave when I pulled her shoulder.

"Thanks," I said sweating and panting. She gave me a warm smiled and squeezed my hand before joining her father.

Rick wiped his hands on his face which were covered with my blood. He sat beside me looking down.

"Rick," I said forcing him to look up. I picked up the rag and wiped his face, he's eyes never leaving me. The usually clean shaven Rick now had a thin layer of stubble. He took his Sheriff's hat off and put it on the his lap running a hand through his hair.

"I wish I knew what to say right now." I sighed leaning back in the chair.

"You helped bring him to this farm. You didn't even hesitate, thank you." He nodded.

"I care for you. And Carl." I added quickly.

"He's a great kid he doesn't deserve that." I said.

"You risked yourself trying to help him." He said eyes trained on the wooden floor.

He looked at me then surprisingly pulled me into a hug. I rubbed his back and felt his hands on my shoulder blades before he started sobbing.

"Shh," I coaxed trying to calm him.

"They can help him. He'll be alright." I said softly putting a hand in his hair. No matter what Shane tried to make me do I wasn't going to let him hurt Rick ever. To hell with him finding out my secret. He deserved to see his family live.

I pulled away and smiled, He gave me a weak smile and we looked into the operating room, it seemed to be calm and Rick stood up offering his arm for support. I took it and leaned against his side entering the room.

"You know his blood type?" Hershel asked Rick.

"A-positive same as mine." He replied instantly.

"Don't wander far I'm gonna need you." Hershel said.

"What happened?" Hershel asked Otis as he entered the room.

"I was tracking a buck and the bullet went through." He explained looking solemn.

"The deer slowed it down which saved his life but it broke up in 6 pieces inside of him." Hershel said studying Carl.

"Now I can get it out." He reassures us.

"Lori doesn't know. My wife doesn't know." Rick started sobbing holding his forehead. I wrapped an arm up to his shoulder and pulled his head to mine.

"You have to stay with him." I said to him. I lead him over to a sofa in the living room, still holding my weight and we sat down on the sofa. I was the one with the injury but Rick was the one who looked on the verge of collapse.

"I shouldn't have let him go with us. He should've stayed with Lori." Rick eyes were darting down around the room.

"You can't blame yourself." I looked at him.

"Sophia went missing and you've been trying to look for her. You haven't stopped." I said rubbing his back.

"But it was on me she went missing. Shane told me to call it a day but I didn't listen. I should be the one in that room." I looked down not saying anything.

"You've been there Rick. You told me, you got shot and were in a coma for 6 months." I said.

"Is this how it's supposed to end? I woke up and find my family only for them to get killed?" He asked tears in his eyes. He put his fingers into his eyes and I leaned my head against his shoulder finding no words to comfort him. We stayed in that room for a while, I stood up testing out if I could walk. Well I managed a limp and it seemed fine.

"Rick," the girl called Maggie came out and beckoned us in. Carl was screaming and crying as Hershel had some forceps under his ribs trying to pull the bullet pieces out. Blood was coming out and Carl continued crying and calling for his dad.

"Polaris hold him down." He instructed, I sat down in the seat and placed an arm over his chest tears filling my eyes seeing Carl writhe on the bed in pain. I would do anything to take his pain away.

"He needs blood now!" Maggie said.

Rick held out his arm to Otis' wife Patricia as she pressed the needle into his elbow.

"You're killing him!" Rick shouted at Hershel as Carl continued screaming, suddenly he stopped and his eyes closed.

"Hey! Hey!" I shouted looking at Hershel.

"He Just passed out." Hershel looked at me and I relaxed my arm of his chest leaning forwards in the chair. I kept telling Rick to hold it together but I couldn't do it myself. Silently I let the tears fall and watched Hershel work. Carl's tiny chest was rapidly moving up and down as the shrapnel pieces were removed. Rick pulled up the chair next to me and watched Carl. I looked at him seeing how pale he was as his blood was being filled up in a bottle.

"You okay?" I looked at him and he nodded.

Hershel was now pumping air into his chest as Carl was breathing steadily. He's going to make it.

"Pressure's stable. Your son's going to be okay," Hershel looked to both of us.

"O-oh," I stammered.

"No we're n-not. I'm not." I tried to explain feeling my cheeks heat up. I was way too young to be the mother of a 10 year old kid!

"She's not his mother." I looked at Rick and I swore his cheeks were slightly red.

"I need to get her. I need to get Lori she needs to know what's happened." He said trying to stand up.

"I need you to stay close. He's gonna need more blood." Hershel said ordering Rick to sit back down. I followed Rick making sure he didn't fall as he sat in the next room.

"Don't worry I got it." I said to Hershel, Patricia and Beth who looked alarmed.

"Rick," I bent down in front of him.

"You need to be here for your son. I'm not letting you walk out that door. We'll find a way to get Lori and the others here. Lori would never forgive you if something happened when you left." I said searching his eyes.

"Hey look at me." I said getting his attention.

"I will stop you if you try to walk out that door." I warned him and he laughed slightly as I smiled.

"There's that laugh." I grinned standing up with my hands on my hips. I turned around seeing Maggie and Otis sitting on the sofa in the room. Hershel cane out holding a bloody rag. Rick and I stood up and he wobbled a bit before I grabbed his arm.

"He's stable for now. But I still need to remove the other fragments."

"You saw how he was with the first one." I said disbelievingly.

"And that was the shallowest one. He's got internal bleeding from a fragment that's nicked his blood vessels." Hershel continued and Rick put a hand over his mouth breathing heavily.

"There's more." Hershel said.

"Tell me." Rick said decidedly.

"I have to open him up find it and stitch it. He can't move at all while I'm in there, if he does I'll sever an artery and he'll be dead in minutes." Hershel looked directly at Rick. Ricks was frowning and his eyes were still filled with tears and anger.

"To try all this, I have to put him under but he won't be able to breath on his own." Hershel finished. It seemed like there was no hope.

"What will it take?" Rick said and I saw the determined look in his eyes.

"You need a respirator. What else?" Otis stood up and came towards Hershel.

"Surgical supplies, drapes, sutures.." Hershel began listing.

"And if you had all that, you could save him?" Rick asked. Oh no I see where he's going with this.

"I could try." Hershel stated.

"The high school. It'll still have all that, it was overrun last time I saw but maybe it's better." Otis suggested.

"I'll go." I looked up seeing Shane enter the house.

"Shane," Rick said as both men embraced.

"I heard what happened." He said walking in looking worried.

"Lori?" Rick asked worriedly.

"She's fine, she's with the others. I said I needed to check on y'all then I saw the dead deer and followed your tracks." Shane explained looking at me as I nodded.

"I'll go." Shane said to Hershel.

"I hate you going alone." Rick said.

"I won't be. Pol?" Shane looked at me eyes full of hate and threats.

"I'll back him up." I said reluctantly. As much as I would've gladly risk my life for Carl I wasn't in much of a position to travel.

"You're injured how can you?" Rick asked incredulously.

"For Carl." I said firmly.

"I'll be careful."

"I know where it is. I'll take you both there." Otis said.

"Are you sure about this?" Shane asked Otis.

"You don't even know what any of those things look like?" Otis chuckled.

"I suppose not." Shane glanced down then back at Otis.

"I'll gather some things." Otis walked off.

"Where's your wife?" Maggie asked Rick. We explained where the RV and church was and Maggie went off and ran outside. After a short while Shane, Otis and Me loaded some weapons up into a blue pickup truck.

"Get only what you need." Rick said to Shane a hand behind his neck. He handed his gun to Otis who promised to bring it back. Shane and Otis got into the only two seats in the pick up truck whilst I sat against it at the back, rifle in hand. Rick came up the side as I leaned over.

"Be careful," he warned.

"And come back." I put a hand over mine and squeezed it. I smiled and nodded touched at how much he cared. He considers you a friend. I thought to myself. Nothing more. The truck engine started and pulled away from the farm down the fields as Hershel and Rick became smaller in the distance. Otis stopped the truck a little while away as we walked through the bushes rifles in hand until we reached a clearing. Shane led the way keeping low over the hill as we looked out at the high school.

We bent down behind the cars, Shane in front with me next to him then Otis. Otis began moving further to the school.

"Woah, woah. We need to to take a look." I put my hand on his chest stopping him.

"Shane?" I gestured.

"Why don't you?" He said defensively.

"You're 6ft tall and I'm 5ft 1!" I whispered harshly and saw his warning glance making me close my mouth.

He stood up and I followed suit looking over the police car seeing at least 100 Walkers between us and the building.

"You see that medical trailer?" Otis said as Shane looked over.

"That's where we gotta get to?" Shane asked disbelievingly. We both looked at each other and knew there was no way all of us were getting there without getting seen. Especially since Otis couldn't run fast enough. We stayed behind the car glancing over every now and then looking for an opening.

Shane came out walking low along the side of the car and I crouched down low next to him. Otis kept the rifle up to cover him and Shane clicked the police car door open, looking inside for something. The back door opened making Otis grunt in surprise and Shane gestured for us to move back. Maybe I could find an opportunity. To get rid of Shane. He already threatened Rick's life, how long before he acted on it? Who knows who he could hurt? Despite the complete shitbag he was I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Shane chuckled finding flares in the back of the car and I smiled. We waited till it was dark and lit them, throwing them way over to the pavement. The Walkers took the bait and got distracted moving in the opposite direction. We threw more and their snarls became louder heading towards the light come from the flares.

Once they were a good distance away Shane and I ran towards the medical truck and Otis followed. We ran inside the truck and closed the door keeping as quiet as possible until we were in the pitch black of the trailer. I switched the torch on and we began rummaging along the shelves to find what we needed.

"Is this it?" I held a plastic respirator up to Otis who nodded.

"We need 3!" He whispered back. Shane took some oxygen tanks from the top shelf throwing it into the bag. Otis picked up some more equipment and looked at the list. I gathered more of the sutures and shoved them into Shane's backpack.

"We got it?" I asked Shane and Otis.

"Yeah, let's go." Shane said as we opened the door of the trailer quietly.

"Shit!" I said as the Walkers noticed us and began walking closer. I led the way running along the side of the high school.

"Where the fuck are you going?" Shane shouted.

"I don't know just stay with me!" I spat angrily trying to find an opening. I pulled down on a handle but the door was locked. The Walkers were gaining on us as we ran up the metal staircase being one level up on the building. I ran ahead as a Walker came out of the side and grabbed onto my clothes.

"No," I grunted trying to get my knife out. I felt Shane watching me without moving forward.

"What are you waiting for?" I hissed at him as he stabbed it in the head.

"Asshole!" I shoved him away as Otis caught up to us and we kept running. We reached a set of double glass doors and I tried to open it but they were locked. Walkers were rounded on us from all sides with their decomposing flesh getting closer.

"Stay back!" Shane shouted as I moved behind him he shot the glass causing it to smash. My stomach was hurting but the stitches held together. We jumped inside closing the metal gate against it and keeping it locked. The Walker hands reached through as we were backed up against the wall guns up.

"Damn it!" Shane grunted. The nail we used to keep the gate in place broke off and we were running through the high school hallways the Walkers running fast motivated by our flesh. Shane stopped in front of the back exit seeing it gained up.

We rounded the corner and continued running losing motivation and hope. I started panting, running out of breath with no more energy to run forward. We found the gym and pushed open the doors climbing on top of the wooden athletic equipment, the Walkers gathering below us.

"Those windows, what's on the other side?" Shane shined a torch light over it.

"About a 20ft drop, with some bushes to catch us then an athletic field." Otis explained.

"We gotta get up there and get out." I said and Shane agreed.

"You kidding me man? I won't make it there look at me." Otis gestured to himself.

"And she won't be able to with that stomach." Otis said pointing to me.

"Why what's wrong?" Shane asked.

"Oh so concerned." I snapped back at him.

"You were happy to let some Walker have at me." I accused him.

"What are you talkin' about? I saved you." Shane argued.

"Okay we don't have time!" Otis raised his voice before we could continue.

"You jump down and your stitches are gonna reopen." He said to me.

"It's the only way. Fourth time lucky I'll get them sewed up again." I shrugged.

"If it wasn't for your accent I'd forget You're British." Otis smirked slightly.

"What are you gonna do then?" Shane asked.

"Locker room, has windows more my size. I get out we meet on the athletic field and get out." Otis explained like it was easy.

"You're a crazy son of a bitch." Shane shook his head.

"Take three shots then you go. We'll lay down a cover fire for you." Shane said scanning the room. Otis shot three bullets into the Walkers before jumping off onto the ground falling to the ground in pain. Me and Shane began shooting before I saw him. I was going to run after him before Shane pulled me back by my shirt.

"What are you doing?" I shouted angrily at him.

"Covering him. You need to do the same!" Shane ordered and I saw he was right. Otis began crawling away from a Walker with no legs then stood up limping.

"Shane he's hurt!" I pointed out as Otis reached the room and shut the door.

"We're never gonna make it with him." Shane muttered. He shot off across the gym and I followed him whilst the Walkers were occupied and we clambered quickly on the bleachers smashing the window.

"When the time comes, he's gonna slow us down. If I have to choose between him or me. Imma choose me." Shane said to me leaning down.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"We're gonna get overrun with Walkers. When that happens we're gonna take the backpack of equipment from him and then you're gonna shoot him." He said.

"What? No!" I said in shock.

"Unless you want me flashing round a piece of paper to Rick and the others." Shane suggested.

"Do it for all I care. A man's life is at stake here." I said angrily.

"When Rick finds out. He's gonna be heartbroken, even more than he already is. You think he'll want someone like that to stay? Nah you'll be out faster than you can say goodbye." Shane explained.

"Haven't you been listening you dick? I don't care." I shoved his hand off my arm.

"And when you're gone. Who's to stop me from being with Lori? Rick sure as hell wouldn't know about it. And we both know Lori wouldn't tell." He smirked.

"You wouldn't." I said. I didn't know Shane could get any lower than he was until now.

"Not that you'll be able to stop me." He shrugged.

"So what's it gonna be?" He asked shooting the stray Walker that wondered over to us.

"Maybe even Rick one day might find himself at the mercy of a Walker and I may not have the bullets to stop it."

"Shane," I gasped in horror.

"He's your best friend!" I argued.

"Maybe He was. He's not the same man anymore." Shane said looking down.

"You're gonna do it when the time comes. No matter what you say I know you're falling for Rick, and you don't want him to know what I know." Shane said. He jumped down holding his hands on the edge and jumped off landing on his ankle I heard it snap. Serves him right, bastard. I looked over the edge taking a deep breath.

Suddenly a Walker was behind me and I thrusted my knife into it losing balance and falling into the green bush. I got up with scratches on my arms and legs and face but nothing broken. I looked Shane limping on his leg and took a backpack from him. Serves him right. Bastard. I looked up at the full moon, we had already been gone too long and who knew what the state of Carl. We hadn't even seen Lori, Glenn, Carol, Daryl, Dale, T-Dog or Andrea. And we still didn't know if Sophia was even alive. We leaned against the side of the high school building seeing the Walkers groaning and moaning along the footpath. Shane held a rifle limping on his ankle and shot them down gathering more attention. We reached metal fence and looked it on the other side the Walkers trying to push it over. Shane tried to reload and the Walker struggling towards us was shot.

"Otis!" I cried with relief.

"Man I'd thought we lost you!" Shane said throwing an arm around his shoulders leaning on him for support. I fought the urge to look at Shane, he was going to betray. He didn't even have the guts to do it himself. He was going to blackmail me to betray Otis.

We came down the hill alongside the fence away from the main high school ground trying to find another way out. Otis, Shane and I leaned against it heavily breathing. When Walkers attacked. We started moving again away from the fence and pressed ourselves up against the concrete wall.

"We're never gonna make it out." I huffed.

"You two will." Otis said nodding to us both.

"I won't."

"Otis don't say that." I pleaded with him as Shane said nothing. We continued walking along in the shadows trying to make it back when we rounded a corner and found a car park.

"We need to get to that street, double back to the truck." Otis said as he and Shane collapsed to the floor.

"Look we ain't gonna make it man." Shane groaned sweating. I leaned down on the floor next to them loading my gun.

"How many rounds you got left?" He asked me.

"5." I said counting them.

"I've got 4. You?" Otis asked.

"5 plus one in the barrel." Shane looked at me then glanced to Otis and back at me.

"This is where it'll happen." He said out loud not taking his eyes off me. No, no I can't do this. Trade one man's life for another. Rick for Otis, if I shot Shane our problems would be solved. Lori would be safe, he wouldn't threaten me no more and it would remain a secret. But he's Ricks best friend, he kept Lori and Carl safe when they thought he was dead, if I kill him and not tell Rick I don't think I could bear to look Rick in the face again.

I need to make a decision. The Walkers growling came closer as the horse approached us. We began shooting behind us trying to make our rounds count, all slowed down by our injuries.

"I'm down to my last!" I shouted to them and they counted theirs.

"Me too." Otis said. The Walkers were getting closer and Shane looked at me then at Otis.

"I'm sorry." He said to Otis who looked at him with wide eyes. Shane looked at me once more his eyes urging me to shoot him. To kill him to leave him behind.

"Do it Pol. Do it or I swear I'll hurt them. Rick, Lori. You don't do this and Carl's gonna die. Ricks gonna find out. Is that what you want?" He exploded shouting at me.

"I'm so sorry." I pulled out the gun and shot Otis in the leg, my eyes filled with tears. He fell to the floor in pain and Shane pushed him back towards the Walkers trying to grab the backpack of him. He's still alive. It's still not too late. I tried to throw Shane off Otis but he hit me in the nose with the butt of his fun. I put my fingers up feeling my nose bleeding.

Shane tussled with Otis on the floor and I was on Shane trying to get him off. I punched him in the stomach and he pressed down on my stomach causing me to clutch it in pain.

"Stop!" I shouted crying. Shane began kicking Otis where I shot him and started screaming in pain.

"I'll kill you!" Otis grunted our grabbing a fistful of Shane's hair and yanking not out.

"Shane stop it's not too late!" I shouted pleading with him and shooting the Walkers coming up behind them. Shane got out of Otis' grasp and began limping my way with both backpacks on his shoulder. He passed me limping as I looked to go back to Otis. But the Walkers were on him.

"Otis!" I screamed tears streaming down my face.

"Pol come on!" Shane shouted and I followed him. If we didn't get this supplies back. Carl would be dead.

But I had just left a man to die. In cold blood.

—

Shane drove the pick up truck back to the farm in silence. We didn't say a word to each other the entire way back. As soon as we pulled up to the farm Rick and Lori ran out, I got out of the car as quickly as possible to get away from Shane.

"Carl?" Shane asked coming round with the bags.

"Still alive." Hershel came out and took the bags inside.

"Otis?" He asked looking around the side of the car. I looked down not being able to even look him in the eye. Shane looked at me annoyed then answered him.

"No." Shane shook his head.

"I'm gonna have to tell Patricia's wife." Hershel sighed putting a hand on his forehead. We followed him inside the house where he prepped Carl and told us to wait outside.

"Thank you," Rick engulfed Shane in a hug and patted his back.

"Truly," He looked at me with his blue eyes hopeful and tears of happiness.

I couldn't take it anymore and broke down sobbing on the floor.

"Pol?" Lori asked me picking me up off the floor and giving me a hug.

"What is it sweetie?" She asked stroking my hair.

"Otis." I blubbered out feeling comfortable in her embrace and fully breaking down for the first time that day.

 **A/N: Hehe so that's my little twist. What did you think?**


	7. Chapter 7 - No Trial For The Guilty

**A/N: And I lied saying I wouldn't upload a chapter but here we are lol. I just felt motivated and inspired so brace yourself for a long one! I'm glad you're enjoying this story and I hope you stick with me on it, so I can continue to entertain you. In this chapter I focused on Pol's guilt and the consequences of her action as well as developing relationships between characters.**

 **Thanks to everyone who reads, follows and reviews this story, including my silent readers who are too shy :3. Thanks to Ty6161 for favouriting this story and I promise you will not regret it. This chapter isn't as action packed as the last but some good dialogue I hope. I actually included another little snippet from my own hobbies which includes a guitar scene.**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: Thank you! I'm so glad you're loving his story! Honestly I'm enjoying writing it which is probably why i upload chapters so quickly hehe. Shane is a major jerk and his jerky-ness will continue as it does in the show - not sure how much you know about it. I know Pol is a sweetheart! But she's made a major mistake in killing Otis, in terms of her moral compass she didn't handle the threats and ultimatums Shane was delivering to her and because she cares so much about Rick and how he views her she felt like she didn't have much choice, even though it was the wrong thing to do. Her guilt will play an important part later on..**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any of its affiliated characters and storylines, only my OC and plotlines. I don't own the song Mad World by Tears for Fears.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

"Honey what's wrong?" Lori asked as she pulled away wiping the tears from my face.

"I didn't save him." I cried.

"Lor." Rick and Shane were standing behind me as me and Lori pulled apart standing up.

"He's stable." Hershel came out as Lori smiled, she looked at me in concern and I nodded to her. Rick and Lori both went to see Carl whilst Shane went outside.

"Pol?" I turned around seeing Glenn in that trusty baseball cap standing behind me.

"Glenn," I sighed as we walked towards each other he hugged me.

"I'm so glad you're safe." He said lowly rubbing my hair. He pulled apart and stroked my upper forearms.

"You okay?" He said looking at my tearstained face.

"Just Otis." I said wiping my eyes.

"It must've been hard for you." He said.

"Where are the others?" I sniffled.

"Still on the highway. They'll be here tomorrow."

"T-Dog's here," Glenn started.

"The slash in his arm was getting really infected but luckily Daryl had some of Merle's antibiotics when he had venereal disease." Glenn said and I scrunched up my nose.

"That's disgusting." I groaned laughing as Glenn smiled.

"T-Dog's recovering now so he'll be good soon." He said.

"You get some rest Pol, you've been through a lot."

The next day we were outside collecting fire wood with the Greene family. I started talking to Beth and Maggie, Hershel's daughters who were both younger than me. I liked Maggie instantly, she was funny to be around and had a good heart. And she helped distract me from the pain of last night. Beth was sweet but didn't talk much. From what I heard last night, Carl woke up briefly with Lori and Rick having not left his side the whole night. I don't think they got any sleep.

I passed Rick who was coming out of the shower last night when I was on my way to sleep on one of their couches. He looked finally clean but he was pale from the loss of blood.

"You good?" Rick asked hand on my arm.

"Yeah," I nodded feeling the sadness come up again.

"I think I will be."

"That's not your fault. Don't be consumed by the guilt." He said rubbing his hair and I nodded.

He lifted a hand up and turned my cheek seeing the scratches on my face.

"Oh I dropped out of a window 20 ft up." I said nonchalantly and he chuckled.

"Of course you did. You're a little reckless." He tapped my cheek taking his hand back down. My cheek was burning from where he touched it.

"What makes you think that?" I teased him.

"A couple of weeks ago I remember this crazy woman thinking she could take on a hundred Walkers to help me escape." He brushed a hand over my hair.

"She sounds awesome." I rolled my eyes smirking.

"I'm glad you came back." He smiled.

"Me too." I nodded gulping by how unintentionally close we were standing. Later that night I could not sleep, haunted by images of Otis and then dreams of Rick Grimes.

It was the morning now and thinking about how I slept last night made me blushed. This thing for Rick was getting out of control. I was shocked to see Shane in the morning with a completely shaved head. An ugly man to support that disgusting ugly personality of his. I swore after last night I would not do anything he said anymore. I killed a man and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. It doesn't matter that Shane blackmailed me, I pulled the trigger. And I would never let myself be in that position again. I saw Glenn glancing at Maggie every two minutes and smiled. I think he likes her. Who wouldn't? She was tall, skinny and absolutely gorgeous but she was one of the most down to earth people I had ever met.

From down the road I could hear the revving of a motorbike engine followed by a car and the RV. Daryl dismounted his bike, making me so happy to see him.

"Dixon," I smiled pulling him down for a hug which reluctantly returned.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"You look like you've been through hell." He said looking at me top to bottom.

"Andrea," I gave her a small smile which she returned as Carol stepped out of the car. Dale stepped out of the RV looking around at the farm.

I gave Carol a quick hug and saw the lines under her eyes. Poor woman must not be sleeping well, she's still without Sophia.

"Still in one piece I see." He said smiling at me.

"Just about." I joked.

The door to the house opened as Rick and Lori stepped out greeting everyone.

"How is her?" Dale asked.

"He'll pull through. Thanks to Hershel and his people." Lori smiled with tears barely containing her happiness.

"And Shane and Pol. We'd have lost Carl if it wasn't for them." Shane looked down then at me. I refused to look at him anymore. Rick smiled at me but I couldn't give him one in return, so i settled for a nod. Shane stood a distance away watching the group exchange hugs.

"How'd it happen?" Dale asked hugging Rick.

"Hunting accident. Just a stupid accident." Rick said disbelievingly.

"One of Hershel's men helped get the equipment to save Carl with Shane and Pol. But he didn't make it." Rick explained. I could feel the guilt gnawing away at me. It's my fault. I killed him.

"We're gonna have a ceremony for him later." Hershel said before going back inside. Lori went inside to check up on Carl with Dale, Andrea and Carol who also went to see T-Dog. Rick stayed outside for a minute and walked up to me.

"You're sure you're okay?" He asked, I could see Daryl pretending to clean his crossbow but he was listening to our conversation.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I flashed him a smile.

"Something seems off about you." Rick said studying me.

"Think you just need some sleep." I smiled.

"Maybe." He said eyeing me curiously.

"Anyways I came to give you this." He pulled out a colt python from the stash we found earlier and a box of extra bullets. On the wooden handle was a beautiful engraved P.

"You did this?" I looked up at him holding it in my hands.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of his neck.

"I thought the P would be a nice touch." He shrugged looking nervous.

"I-I don't deserve this." I stuttered handing the gun back to him.

"Of course you do, without you Carl wouldn't be awake in that bed right now. I owe you." He said his piercing blue eyes meeting my whiskey coloured ones.

"Thank you." I said genuinely and reached up giving him a quick peck on the cheek. His cheek turned red for a brief moment before he took a step back.

"Your welcome." He chuckled.

"You're gonna need something to practise on." He touched my arm gently before walking off back to the house.

"What?" I turned around seeing Daryl leaning against his motorcycle.

"Nothin'" he shrugged and went back to cleaning his bow. I narrowed my eyes at him before walking back to the house. I tucked the gun into a holster and saw Lori and Rick by Carl's side.

"Hey buddy," I smiled at him leaning against the door frame as his eyes lit up.

"Pol! Dad told me you saved me." Carl said sitting up in bed.

"Well not directly." I started.

"Dad said you'd also deny it." Carl rolled his eyes and I laughed.

"I'm just glad you're better." I came and sat on the edge of his bed with my hand over his leg.

"You scared us for a minute." I tapped his cheek and he shrugged my hand off.

"Don't worry. Mom said I'm a survivor." I looked at Lori who was smiling down at her son and instantly felt guilty. I've been letting myself get too close to Rick, having moments with him when I shouldn't. He has a wife and Lori doesn't deserve that.

"Yes you are Carl."

—

They held a funeral for Otis as Patricia put the final rock over where his grave was going to be. Hershel was acting as minister making prayers as I stood next to Lori and Rick eyes down. The tears were threatening to spill from my eyes but I wiped them away hoping no one would notice. I felt an arm around my waist and looked to the side seeing Lori rubbing my back comfortingly.

"Otis, who gave his life to save a child. Now more than ever, our precious asset. We thank you, God for the peace he enjoys in your embrace. He died as he lived, in grace." I dared to glance at Shane who was actually looking ashamed for once in his life.

"Shane, Pol. Will you speak for Otis?" Both of us looked at Hershel who was standing with the bible closed.

"I'm sorry I'm not good at that kinda stuff." Shane said quietly. You fucking coward, you blackmailed me to kill him. And now you feel guilty? But I'm the one who pulled the trigger.

"Uh.." I started but didn't know what to say.

"Please you were the last ones with him. You shared his final moments." Patricia stepped forward pleading with us.

"Please I need to hear. I need to know his death had meaning." She began sobbing with Maggie and Beth comforting her.

"I'll speak." I said my voice wavering. I stepped forward towards where Otis was buried.

"We were done. We were out of bullets, down to our last rounds. Shane was limping, I was injured. He said he wanted to do right by the boy. He wanted to make amends." I said gulping.

"And that's exactly what he did. When he went down, when the Walkers got to him." Tears started streaming down to my face. Liar liar you fucking liar.

"He sacrificed himself to save Carl." Shane shot me a warning look and continued.

"He gave me his backpack, he sent me ahead. Run he said. I'll cover you. When I looked back... If not for Otis. I'd never made it out alive." Shane finished, eyes darting to everyone as he placed a rock on the grave. I kept crying and it just wouldn't stop.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly before walking back toward the RV. I walked around it and collapsed onto the floor leaning against it. Letting myself fully cry, it went on for a good few minutes until the tears stopped. I'm never letting myself be manipulated like that again. It won't happen I thought to myself determined. I went inside the RV to see if there were any books to read but I found an acoustic guitar instead. Dale and T-Dog must've found this when they were scavenging for supplies. I took it outside and sat down against the RV and plucked the strings trying to tune them.

I was a little out of practise so I tried to remember the chords, once I got the hang of it I started playing a melody, the last one I learnt before the world went to shit. I sang softly picking the strings lightly:

 _"All around me are familiar faces_

 _Worm out places, worn out faces_

 _Bright and early for their daily races_

 _Going nowhere, going nowhere_

 _Their tears are filling up their glasses_

 _No expression, no expression_

 _Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow_

 _No tomorrow, no tomorrow_

 _And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad._

 _The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've very had_

 _I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take_

 _When people run in circles it's a very very_

 _Mad world,_

 _Mad world."_

I finished the last note and put the guitar down in my lap. Suddenly I heard rustling coming from around the RV and reached for my knife, but it was just Rick.

"Oh my god you scared me." I let out a sigh of relief.

"How long you been standing there?" I narrowed my eyes at him plucking a few strings.

"Long enough to hear you can't sing." Rick smirked but I didn't smile.

"Sorry." He said coming to sit next to me along the RV.

"Its alright." I shrugged, honestly playing guitar had made me feel a little better. But having Rick sitting by my side, made me feel a whole lot better. Actually too much better, I started blushing remembering I kissed his cheek. Need to stop doing that. Actually i feel a little embarrassed he heard me sing.

"But you actually play guitar beautifully." He genuinely complimented holding his hat in his lap.

"Thanks." I gave him a small smile.

"Where did you learn?" He asked turning sideways to face me.

"Uhm I taught myself, using the internet before this whole thing happened. But i just never had time for it, because of my job. I missed it." I explained linking my fingers together.

"Can you play?" I asked looking at him.

"Definitely not. Maybe you could teach me, once we find Sophia." Rick nudged my shoulder.

"Yeah." I said. If we find her anyways.

"I actually came to talk to you. I can see how upset you are by Otis, but I feel like something else happened and its makin' you feel real sad. I just wanted to say that you can talk to me, I'm a pretty good listener. Whenever you want." He said before getting up and going back round the RV. Trust me Rick if you had to listen to what I had to say you would not like me very much. I got up and put the guitar back inside the RV.

Daryl, Shane, Andrea, Rick and Hershel were around one of the cars as I joined them. Maggie brought out a map and placed it over it.

"It shows terrain and elevation." Maggie said.

"This is great. We can organise the whole thing, grid the whole area in teams." He said optimistically.

"Not you. Not today." Hershel looked at him.

"You gave 3 units of blood. You wouldn't be hiking 5 minutes in this heat before you pass out."

Hershel said to Rick.

"And you," He turned to Shane who was now wearing a baseball cap on his head.

"Your ankle's all swollen up. You're not going anywhere." He said with an air of finality.

"Guess its just me." Daryl shrugged looking at the map.

"I'm gonna head back to the creek, work my way through there." Daryl said studying the map.

"I'll go with you." I said putting my hands on my hips. I desperately wanted to be away from the farm and away from both Rick and Shane.

"What about your stomach?" Rick asked still pale looking at me in concern.

"It's pretty much healed now. And if I dropped 20ft from a window without reopening it so I think I can manage." I let out a dry chuckle seeing Andrea smile out of the corner of my eye.

"Daryl?" Rick looked at the man who seemed to be in conflict.

"I don't wanna have to babysit ya." Daryl warned and I immediately shook my head.

"You won't I promise." I said quickly.

"You're gonna have to listen to me and follow my lead." He said and I nodded. Daryl gave Rick a nod of affirmation.

"One last thing," Hershel spoke.

"I don't wanna be turning this into an armed camp, we've survived this far without one." Hershel looked at all of us with our weapons holstered.

"This is your property. And ALL of us." He looked pointedly at Shane.

"Will respect that."

Shane and Rick placed their guns on the hood of the car along with Andrea. Shane began talking about establishing look out points and perimeters around the property as long as Hershel agreed.

"I'll keep my gun for now but give it back after the search with Daryl." I reassured Hershel who nodded.

"I need to make a run into town." Maggie said.

"See that guy in the baseball cap, that's Glenn. He's our go to town guy, I'd take him along as a precaution." Rick said. Maggie looked at her father who nodded and went off to go talk to Glenn.

"Be safe." Rick spoke directly to me now.

"Will do, don't worry I've got Daryl to protect me." I reassured him.

"Strangely enough I think he likes you. And Daryl doesn't like people." Rick chuckled.

"We'll be back soon." I said determinedly hitting the car before walking off after the hunter.

As I walked off to follow Daryl I noticed Andrea and Shane sitting opposite each other with guns on the table. He seemed to be giving her instructions as she unloaded the chamber and practised opening the gun. She looked up at him and smiled. If only she knew.. I sighed grabbing my pack from inside and stocked bottles of water with some fruit and my leather journal. I attached my knife to my waist and walked out of the house seeing Rick sitting on the porch.

"See ya cowboy." I ruffled his hair as I walked off hearing noises of complaint.

"Daryl." I shouted as he turned around and stopped I caught up to him with a cross bow over his back.

"Don't worry we'll be back before dark." Daryl shouted to Rick who began walking up to us.

"We got a base now Daryl. We can get this search properly organised." Rick said to him taking the hat off.

"You got a point?" Daryl asked tiredly.

"The point is you don't owe us anything."

"My other plans fell through." Daryl said decidedly and gestured for me to follow him. I turned around giving Rick a little wave before jogging to catch up with Daryl's longer legs. I followed him back into the woods keeping a hand over my knife and walked beside him.

"So what are we looking for?" I asked him scanning the woods for any potential Walkers, we were live bait for them and after Sophia I was on edge.

"Tryin' to find her tracks. But it don't look like she came this way." Daryl said bending down to the ground and rubbing the dirt between his fingers. We followed the creek as the layer of forest got more dense.

"Do you think Sophia's even lasted this long?" I asked him.

"She's alive. I know it." He said decisively. There was a short period of silence and I could already feel myself sweating. I took my jacket off and stuffed it in my pack trying to find water.

"Water?" I handed him a bottle and he took a generous swig of it before passing it back. I took a sip from it and then placed it back in the pack.

"I wanna ask you something." Daryl said suddenly.

"What?" this was strange. Daryl was never one to initiate a conversation ever.

"Is there something goin' on between you an' Rick?" He asked his eyes darted to me sideways.

"No," I scoffed.

"Is there something going on between you and Carol?" I put my hands on my hips and faced him eyebrows raised.

"No way." He scoffed smirking slightly.

"I dunno why y'all got offended. I was just askin' cuz of before." Daryl shrugged and walked forward.

"What do you mean before?" I demanded following after him but he shushed me.

"Hey I was asking you some-" Daryl clamped a hand on my mouth and dragged me down to the floor beside him. I glared at him before he pointed towards the bushes where faint snarling could be heard. I slowly unsheathed my knife as he loaded his crossbow pointing it towards the Walker. He edged closer and gestured for me to follow him. We stood up quickly and each stood behind a tree trunk the Walker would walk through.

It got closer as I jumped out from behind the tree stabbing it in the chest. It fell on top of me as I was on the floor trying to push it off her. The twack sound of an arrow was heard as it was embedded itself in the head of the walker as it fell lifeless. I pushed it off me seeing my new clothes were covered in Walker blood and groaned. Daryl held out a hand which I took and helped me up.

"You good?" He asked and I nodded.

"What I meant was, when Rick gave you a gun and you.." He pointed to his cheek.

"Oh," I said in realisation.

"That was a friend thing." I said dismissively as Daryl gave me a look.

"Uh huh." He said walking ahead of me with his crossbow out.

"And even if there was something, it couldn't be anything because he's married. To Lori." I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"I'm just sayin' but you an' Rick make a good team. I could see it." Daryl kept walking ahead and I gave him a smile he didn't see.

"Me and you also make a good team." I said nonchalantly hands laced behind my back as I walked beside him. He scoffed.

"Something happened' on that run you made with Otis." Daryl said as I cut down through the thick shrubbery.

"Well yeah he died." I said bluntly.

"Not that. Sumthin' else that you're hiding." Daryl said. For a man who didn't speak that much he was amazingly observant and perceptive.

"I'm no-"

"Look whatever it is, you don't need to tell me. Jus don't let it eat ya up inside. Talk to someone about it." He finished.

"If ya want." He grunted and I have him a wide smile.

"But don't expect it to be some girly talk where we hold hands an' you tell me all your problems." He said sarcastically and I lightly punched him on the shoulder.

We left the woodland area after a short while and came out to a field. There was a boarded house at one end of it which appeared it has been desolate for a while.

"Well if Sophia went anywhere," I said as we walked towards it. I pulled out my knife and Daryl aimed his crossbow which had two arrows left. I nodded to him pulling the door open as he aimed into the dark. We walked along the floorboards and scouted the rooms seeing no one there. There were some old wooden shelves with empty bottles. In the trashcan there was an open can of some food which had been eaten. Daryl lifted it up to smell it but he scrunched up his nose. The floorboards were creaking in one room I walked into.

"Hey Daryl," I whispered and he followed me. I opened the door to a cupboard seeing a blanket and pillow. But no Sophia. I ran out of the backdoor of the house and looked around.

"Sophia!" He shouted into the distance.

"Sophia!" I tried to call out but no response. Daryl saw something and walked towards it. There was a white flower with yellow bud growing by it along the fence, he picked it up and walked behind me stuffing it in my backpack.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Cherokee rose. It was a symbol of hope for Indians when American soldiers were moving them off the land. They're said to grow from the mother's tears for strength and hope."

"We'll find Sophia." I said having more hope now after looking in the house. Daryl nodded and we walked beyond the house along to the next area of woodland.

A few hours after I looking and having eaten through most of our supplies we found no track or trail of her. I was exhausted and even Daryl was looking tired.

"We can pick this up another day." I said to Daryl putting a hand on his shoulder.

"We have an idea of where she could be. Let's get back now, before it gets dark." I said trying to convince him. He nodded as we headed back we were near the farm when Daryl began turning in the other direction. He opened my pack and pulled out the rose walking towards the direction of the RV.

"Taking it back for Carol?" I asked him a smile fighting to make it's way onto my face.

"For hope? That'll we find Sophia?" Daryl came walking back close towering over me.

"You ever tell anyone I picked a flower an' I'll shoot ya." He pointed a finger at me before walking away.

"Too bad. We wouldn't want anyone to know you had a heart!" I called out emphasising it as he put his middle finger up at me. I made my way back across the fields of the farm and towards the house where Glenn was sitting there with a smile on his face.

"Why are you so happy?" I put my hands on my hips eyeing him suspiciously. Maggie came by and passed him, a smirk on her face. I looked between them as Glenn blushed slightly when she walked back on the house.

"You didn't?" I smirked and he nodded.

"In the house?!"

"Course not! I think Hershel would kill me." Glenn said laughing.

"On the run?!" I asked disbelievingly sitting beside him on the porch steps.

"Uh,"

"You sly sly dog." I punched him on the arm.

"Don't mess it up." I warned him.

"She's a good one."

A couple hours later I was resting on the couch when I decided to go check up on Carl. He was stirring slightly and in the chair next to him was Rick with his closed and hat off.

"Hey Carl." I whispered to him entering the room quietly.

"Hi Pol." He opened his eyes and smiled at me. I could see the life returning to his face and he looked much better.

"Did you find Sophia?" He asked hopefully.

"Not yet kid. But we found a lead." I smiled and his face lit up.

"Dad." Carl called out and Rick opened his eyes leaning forward in his seat.

"Hey," He said smiling at his son.

"Hey Rick." I said waving to him as he smiled.

"You're back. Any luck?"

"No but me and Daryl found a lead. It's good news." I said grinning.

"I know we'll find her. Well I don't know but I truly believe it." Rick said smiling down at Carl.

"You look tired Dad." Carl said and I looked at the worry lines on Rick's foreheads and the circles under his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping well, of course he hadn't.

"I am tired." He chuckled.

"I'm like you now Dad. We've both been shot." Carl said smiling as me and Rick started laughing.

"Don't let your mother hear you." I warned him slightly.

"I think she'd rather hear we got the same eyes." Rick said as both of them laughed.

"But since you're in the club now," Rick started talking.

"You get to wear the hat." He took it from his lap and placed it on Carl' head where it fell over his eyes slightly making me giggle.

"Carl I think it looks better on you than your dad." I smirked at Rick as he gave me a knowing look.

"We can pad the rim so it sits better on your head. Maybe you can let me borrow it from time to time." Rick suggested to his son.

"Yeah we can share it." Carl said smiling.

"We'll let you sleep now. Goodnight Carl." Rick squeezed his hand sitting up in his chair.

"I love you dad." Carl said. I felt my heart ache happily for the family, I wish I still had mine to tell me they loved me before going to bed. I guess this group was my new family. Seeing Carl saved from that bullet wound made me happier beyond belief. But what I did to ensure his survival? I will never forgive myself for it. Otis paid with his life because I was too cowardly to do the right thing.

"And I love you." Rick smiled down at Carl. He put the hat over his eyes and twirled the sheriff's badge on his fingers.

"Goodnight Pol." Carl said with his eyes closed.

"Night buddy." I smiled as Rick followed me out of the room.

"How was the search?" He asked.

"As I said, we found a house that looked like it had been lived in so there's a good chance we got a direction where Sophia went. It was getting quite late so we came back." I explained running a hand through my hair.

"How was Daryl?"

"Daryl was Daryl." I chuckled and Rick smiled.

"I'm gonna go check on Carol. Goodnight." I touched his arm and left the room. Walking back down the stairs and out of the house about to get into the RV when I saw Lori walk quickly past and quietly. I followed her making sure she didn't notice me as she came up to Daryl's tent. She pulled her knife and went out into the field pulling a back out with something plastic. I couldn't see what she was doing in the dark but she squatted in the field then held something up so she could see. I could here her sobbing before I decided to come out of the bush and go check on her.

"Lori," I called out gently and she whirled around wide eyes with her hands behind her back, she had tears in her eyes she tried to wipe away.

"What are you doing out here?" She said defensively.

"I saw you, acting weird so I decided to follow you." I said noting her tone.

"Is everything alright?" I tried to peer behind her but she just gripped whatever she was holding tighter.

"Its fine." She said brushing past me slightly aggressively and jogged back to the house.

What was that all about?

 **A/N: And did you enjoy that? I think Mad World was such a great song to include because its so fitting with Pol's situation and the Walking Dead. Check out the lyrics and you'll see what I mean. Also its funny how I was learning this song on guitar today and realised how ironic it all was.**


	8. Chapter 8 - Secrets Pile Up

**A/N: Hey everyone so I thought to give myself a day's break from writing just because I wanted time to wind down and relax. Since I'm in the midst of catching up on TWD I saw the season 7 premiere. Yikes. No literally what the fuck. That was the most intense shit ever and it was so brilliantly written but I was bawling like a freaking baby. I'm excited to see more of Negan because Jeffrey Dean Morgan is a fantastic actor.**

 **Anyways thanks to everyone who read this story and at enjoying it! I'm sorry but this chapter isn't very action filled and is quite chill as well but hopefully after this one I'll ramp it up again.**

 **Thanks to CLOESOME and Ryane for following this story and Lizard21 for following me! I'm dedicating this chapter to you guys and to my awesome reviewers:**

 **frosiedog: lol yes the peaceful chapter was needed after that emotionally draining drama! Haha yeah initially I thought of giving her a romantic storyline with Glenn which would cause some discourse with Maggie but I decided to scrap that. Ah yes the Otis incident, you'll see more and more how the guilt is weighing heavily on poor Pol.**

 **JasminJW: Aww thanks I hope you continue to enjoy it!**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: yeah the peacefulness was needed. this was one is also pretty chill, more focused on the relationships as opposed to the action. still drama though don't worry. Shane continue to be a knobhead xD.**

 **Lizard21: I'm also interested to see how I deal with that scheme xD. I'm glad you're liking this story. Ahh so you think they're quite similar? I mean in terms of their lines of thinking are quite similar but I think as people they're different.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking dead or any of it's affiliated characters or storylines, only my OC and my plotlines.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

I woke up the next day on the couch in the spare room the sun streaming in through the curtains. I looked at the clock and the time said 6.30am. Nope not happening. I turned over and went back to bed, there's no way I'm ever going to voluntarily wake up at this time. Apocalypse or not.. Nope not happening . Nope not happening

A few hours later I was woken up by someone shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw the brunette haired Maggie leaning over me. I jumped seeing her presence, the images of Otis getting eaten to death leaving my head now that I was awake.

"Hey, Rick told me to wake you." She said and stepped back giving me some space to sit up. I took the blanket off me and rubbed my eyes.

"What time is it?"

"A little past 10. They're gonna organise the search for Sophia." She explained undoing the curtains in the room next to the living room.

"Right." I said fixing my clothes. I lifted my shirt up slightly and peeled the bandage back gently to see the stomach wound was healing and let out a sigh of relief. Then I remembered last night. Lori. She was definitely hiding something. But then so am I.

"Thanks for letting me know." I said smiling.

"I should probably sleep over where the rest of the group is." I said folding the blanket.

"Nonsense! You can keep sleepin' here on the couch if ya like." She said taking the blanket from me.

"Really?" I asked looking up at the taller woman.

"Yeah! Besides its nice havin' another woman to talk to." She grinned.

"I'm sure you prefer Glenn's company though don't you?" I teased her smirking as she froze slightly and a serious look passed over her face.

"He told you?" She asked disbelievingly.

"Nah he would never. But it was written all over his face." I shrugged as she continued busying herself around the room.

"Besides," I stopped her holding her arm.

"Since we're friends, you can tell me this kind of thing. If you want." I added. Some distraction would be nice from constantly thinking about what I had done to Otis at Shane's blackmailing.

"Friends?" She asked.

"Yeah sure." I grinned at her which she returned. After washing my face in the bathroom I laced up my boots and changed into a different T-shirt I found in one of the suitcases we scavenged and headed outside to see the others. I walked over to where the tents and RV was set up and saw Carol and Lori hanging up clothes.

"I'm sorry guys, please wake me up on laundry day." I put my hands on my hips feeling guilty for not helping out.

"That's what I was just sayin'," Lori said.

"Hey Pol, I was just talking about how it would be nice if we cooked Hershel and his family dinner as a little thanks." Carol said as I took the wet shirt from her and hung it up along the peg line.

"I think that's a great idea." I said.

"Mornin' guys let's get going, we got a lot of ground to cover." Rick walked in, Shane following closely behind him. He hadn't talked to me since the incident with Otis and honestly I was glad for it. Andrea was helping T-Dog cover up his arm who was looking a lot better. I followed Rick and Shane to the car as Andrea, Daryl and T-Dog also gathered around.

Rick laid out the map on the car.

"All right, everyone's getting new search grids today. If she made it as far as the farmhouse Pol and Daryl found she might have made it further East than we thought." Rick explained.

"Whoever slept in that cupboard we found couldn't have been that big." I said as Daryl put on his shirt beside me.

"It's a good lead, maybe we'll pick up a trail." Rick nodded.

"No maybe about it. Imma borrow a horse and go to this ridge here get a birds eye view." Daryl said studying the map.

"Maybe you'll find your chupacabra." T-Dog said jokingly and I snorted seeing Daryl glare at me.

"Do you really believe in that?" Jimmy asked.

"Do you believe in dead people jackass?" Daryl asked defensively which shut him up.

Jimmy picked up a weapon before Rick stopped him. The group dispersed with Jimmy going with Shane and Andrea.

"You comin' with me today? Pick up the trail we found?" Daryl asked slinging the crossbow on his back.

"Not today," I said and I swore I could see the disappointed look on his face.

"I think I'm gonna go with Rick and Shane." I said to him, which was true I wanted to see if Shane was truly capable of hurting him but if I was there, I could make sure it didn't happen.

"Okay, just be careful." Daryl said reaching his arm out to touch my shoulder as he glanced towards Shane. I followed his gaze and looked at Shane who was reloading his gun.

"Why do you say that?" I said raising my eyebrows.

"I dunno," He shrugged before walking away.

"Hey! Rick!" I called out and he turned around to face me.

"Mind if I tag along?" I asked holstering my gun and knife to my belt.

"Sure," He smiled. I stared at Shane intensely challenging him to protest against me coming but he said nothing. Two can play at that game bastard.

We walked into our search grid in the woods as Shane began marking the trees with a red cloth. It definitely wasn't a good time to think about it now, but walking behind Rick made me realise how beautifully fitted that brown shirt was to his body. Even though he was sweating. I know. Gross. Rick walked ahead with Shane walking behind him and I was in the middle to make sure he didn't try anything. Strangely enough it was completely silent, usually we couldn't get Shane to shut up but here he was saying nothing.

"I know you, Shane, well enough to know that there is only one sure-fire way of engaging you in a conversation." Rick turned around to smirk at Shane.

"..and that is to start asking you about girls you did in high school." Rick finished as Shane chuckled.

"Please Rick. Girl present here." I raised my hand as both men laughed.

"I don't want to but I'm willing to do it if that's what it takes." Rick teased.

"How about we not do that," I pleaded with Rick.

"Or you could talk about the boys you did in high school?" Rick turned around grinning at me.

"That's not funny." I rolled my eyes.

"And you don't get any details. First of all, we call it secondary school. And second in London I went to an all girls school." Shane and Rick looked at each other smirking.

"Oi you perverts not like that." I chuckled hitting Rick on the shoulder.

"I was impressionable back in the day." Rick stated making Shane laugh.

"And I may have been living vicariously through Shane." He smirked walking through more trees.

"Why wouldn't you? With my impressive list of accomplishments?" Shane puffed out his chest.

"Keep the sexist and degrading comments coming boys." I shook my head trying to tune out their conversation but they continued to ignore me.

"I was an artist in his prime. A protege." Shane continued talking.

"Think you mean prodigy." I interjected and Rick chuckled.

"Maybe. That what you call a high school stud that bangs 30-year-olds on the regular?" He asked licking his lips making Rick laugh.

"Please you did not bang 30-year-olds." I scoffed.

"What 30 year old were you banging in high school?" Rick agreed chuckling disbelievingly.

"The P.E. Teacher." Shane stated rolling his shoulders.

"You had to ask him about his love life?" I narrowed my eyes at Rick who laughed.

"What about your high school love life then Pol?" Shane challenged me raising his eyebrows.

"Wait no let me guess," Shane mockingly thought about it.

"Virgin."

"I will not hesitate to shoot your dick off." I said deadly serious staring at him and he raised his hands up in surrender.

"You got anything to add?" I looked at Rick who was trying hard not to laugh.

"No ma'am." He coughed and we kept walking through the woods talking about our old lives until conversation stopped and we went silent. After a while it was Shane who spoke up.

"What are we doing here?" He asked talking to me and Rick.

"What do you mean?" He asked him running a hand through his hair.

"We got every able bodied man out looking for a girl we both know is likely dead." Shane said taking his baseball cap off.

"You don't know that." I shot back at him causing him to glare at me.

"What do you wanna do abandon the search?" Rick asked.

"Survival, Rick. It means making hard decisions." Shane walked ahead of us causing Rick to give me an indecipherable look.

"We don't kill people Shane. We don't leave them to die." Rick emphasised his point and I looked down to the ground. Shane was trying to justify leading Otis to die. Forcing me to kill him, blackmailing me. He was trying to ease his own guilty conscious. I remembered Daryl's words. To talk to someone about it before it ate me up inside. I was getting to that point, losing the will to keep it to myself. Not being able to tell anyone was killing me. But how would I go about telling him? By the way Me and Shane killed Otis and I also started the Apocalypse. Sorry.

"You're spreading us thinner and thinner. I'm trying to save lives here." Shane said almost genuinely.

"That's bullshit." I spat out.

"What'd you say?" Shane turned around threateningly.

"I said that's bullshit." I said one hand on my hip and the other hovering over where my knife was.

"What are you saying Shane? That Sophia isn't worth saving?" I asked him.

"Don't you dare twist my words that's not what I mean. I'm saying do you honestly think we're gonna find Sophia alive?" He turned his attention to Rick who remained silent.

"Are you that sure we won't?" he said walking up to Shane.

"You want honesty?"

"That's what I'm askin' for." Rick said.

"If we had just moved on man we would've been halfway to Fort Benning and Cark wouldn't have gotten shot!" Shane turned around spitting out angrily at Rick. I looked at Rick and his jaw clicked in place holding his anger back.

"Your own son almost died! Otis, he paid that bill." Shane said looking down.

"Are you sure you wanna point fingers Shane?" I challenged him causing Rick to look at me for a moment. Shane started coming towards me threateningly before Rick stood slightly in front of me.

"And you," Shane rounded on me.

"Man you just let her into our group and we know nothin' about her! How do you know she's genuine? Do you know anything about her past? How do you know she won't hurt us?" Shane spoke directly towards Rick. Rick looked sideways back at me for a moment then back on him.

"I don't need to know about her past. She's risked her life to help me and save Carl's life that's all I need to know." My stomach did flip flops at his comment. Shane could tell him right now. Or I could. Then he'd hate me again. He would never look at me the same for killing Otis. And he would definitely never look at me for knowing the outbreak was unintentionally down to me when I was a researcher.

"Unless you know somethin'," Rick said looking him in the eyes for a moment. I looked at Shane. I'm gonna tell Rick about what he did to Lori. But he decided against it.

"I'm just sayin' man. She doesn't belong here." Ouch. That hurt okay.

"You know what Shane, you've been on my case since the first day I joined the camp. I'm an equal member of this group and I deserve a second chance." I said not fully believing in my own words.

"Rick, we've been out looking for Sophia for days. Who knows we'll even find her alive." Shane said turning around.

"I had her in my hand, Shane. She looked up into my eyes and trusted me. And I failed her. I know she's alive. I'm not gonna write her off." Rick said passionately making Shane scoff.

I saw a yellow cloth lying in the dirt on the floor. I bent down and turned it over in my hands inspecting it. It looked like it belonged to someone smaller.

"Hey," I called out as Rick bent down in front of me. I handed it to him and he looked at it smiling slightly.

"That's got to count for something?" I suggested and he nodded showing it to Shane who said nothing. We continued searching our perimeter for another couple of hours. I handed each of them a bottle of water plus a sandwich I had made from the Greene kitchen. Speaking of, I needed to get back to cook dinner for them with Carol and Lori.

Maybe I could talk to Lori about Shane's blackmailing. I feel like if anyone could remotely understand maybe it would be her. But she seemed to have her own problems. Like what was she doing out late that night. We all walked back in deliberate silence. I was personally pissed at Shane and wanted to punch him in the face again. Lori was waiting by the car as Shane walked off in silence by himself and Rick went to greet his wife.

"Hey," I said to her waving as she waved back. I found a good tree and decided to repeatedly stab it in the trunk for a good 5 minutes pretending it was Shane's face until my hand was hurting and the blade became slightly blunt. I sat down against the tree dropping the knife and putting my face in my hands. I took one hand off my face to see Lori and Rick looking my way slightly and talking. Great. Probably about how fucked up I am. Urgh. I buried my face back inside my hands. The next time I looked up Lori had her hands on Rick's cheeks forcing him to look at her and the expression on his face when he looked back. True love. I know its the apocalypse and there are bigger priorities but I had a huge crush on the man. And I couldn't help it.

"Wanna talk about whatever _that_ is about?" Lori pointed to the tree trunk with several knife marks in it.

"I'd rather not." Lori nodded and began walking off.

"But, I wouldn't object to the company." I suggested and she sat down on the grass opposite me.

"What do you do, when you know you've fucked up. Big time, like it's affected lives to say the least. But no one knows what you did, but you still feel guilty. How do you, I don't know make up for it?" I asked her and she looked at me suspiciously before giving it some thought.

"Well, how big is the mess?" She asked putting her hands on her knees.

"Uh, pretty big." I chuckled.

"Have you talked to anyone about it?"

"No. Absolutely not." I shook my head.

"Well, you do your best to help the people you think whose lives you've affected. You strive in the way of doing good and beneficial things for other people." Lori said looking at me and I nodded.

"Is this about Otis?" she asked suddenly and I looked up to her eyes wide.

"Because that wasn't your fault. His death isn't on you. You don't have to carry that guilt around with you." She leaned a bit closer to me.

"You helped save my son. That's a debt I'll never be able to repay." She said seriously and I waved dismissively.

"I'm serious Polaris." She said forcing me to look at her.

"I don't know what you've been through, but you are a good person." She got up and held out a hand to me.

"Come on." I took her hand as she helped me out re-sheathing my knife.

"We're makin' dinner."

"It's the first time in ages I've seen a carrot peeler," Carol grinned making me and Lori laugh. I checked on the roast in the oven which was still cooking as Lori was cutting vegetables.

"Thank you Patricia for letting us into your house." Lori said to the woman who smiled back. We all started talking until we heard a loud gunshot coming from a rifle. Hershel, Maggie and me were the first to run out of the house followed by Lori and Carol.

"What on earth is goin' on out here?" Hershel shouted to Andrea who was on top of the RV.

"Rick!" Lori screamed. Andrea was looking shaken up and had gone completely pale with Dale standing up on the ladder to the RV.

"I'll check!" I shouted to Lori running across the field followed by Andrea and Dale. Rick and Shane had Daryl's arms around their shoulders. Daryl was bloody at his stomach and there was blood all over his face.

"Holy shit what happened?" I asked the men in question as Glenn was carrying Daryl's crossbow.

"oh my god. Is he dead?" Andrea panicked.

"Unconscious. You just grazed him." Rick said calmly.

"Why the hell did you shoot him?" I shouted at Andrea looking at the beaten up Daryl. Around his neck were... What the fuck. Are those walker's ears?

"I thought he was a walker!" She snapped back.

"Look what happened, are those ears?" Glenn said studying his neck.

"Let's keep that to ourselves." I said grabbing the ear necklace off his neck and putting it down my shirt making eye contact with Rick. T-Dog was holding a doll. Sophia. Shane took the doll from T-Dog and went back to the RV causing me to support Daryl's much taller frame on the other side throwing his arm around my neck.

"Dixon you look like shit." I said as we dragged him into the house making Daryl scoff. We put him onto the bed as Hershel gave him antibiotics and began stitching up the wound. Daryl was lying on his side on the bed with his shirt off and the map in front of him covered in grime in dirt. I began wiping the dirt off his face with my fingers and tried to clean some of the blood that was matted in his hair. Daryl swatted my hands away making me glare at him.

"Will you stop moving?" I berated him.

"You're a freakin' mother hen." He complained.

"I found that doll washed up by the creek here." He said to Rick pointing at the map.

"That cuts the grid up by half." Rick said in surprised.

"Yeah, your welcome." Daryl snapped.

"Turn." I ordered him but he was trying to move my hands.

"Daryl" I narrowed my eyes at him. He turned to face me letting me wipe the dirt and blood off his face. Rick, Shane and Hershel left the room leaving me alone with Daryl.

"You had quite a day." I stated as he leaned against the headboard saying nothing.

"Are we really gonna play 20 questions so I can find out what's bothering you?" I asked crossing my arms. Nope nothing.

"Daryl," I asked getting annoyed.

"What?" He said.

"You looked like a bloody Walker stumbling into camp, without a horse, bleeding in your midsection and on your face, covered in dirt and grime!" I said lowly.

"And this?!" I said disbelievingly pulling out the necklace of ears I stuffed in my shirt making Daryl raise his eyebrows.

"Care to tell what this is about?" I said handing it to him. He took it wordlessly but continued saying nothing.

"Fine. Be a dick about it. You told me though, that when something's bothering you, don't let it eat you up inside. I think you should take your own advice." I said to him before leaving the room.

"Can you get me some food?" Daryl shouted from behind.

"Maybe if you're good." I called out to him closing the door behind me. I walked out of the house seeing Andrea sitting on the porch. Immediately I felt guilty for snapping at her.

"How's he doing?" She asked as I sat next to her.

"Oh, he'll be fine." I said assuring her.

"Sorry by the way. For snapping at you before." I said sheepishly.

"Its okay. I just thought by the way you reacted you might you know, like him or something." Andrea said shrugging which made me laugh.

"What?" She asked looking offended.

"I mean I do like him, but he's a brother type to me. I connect with him in a weird way." I said trying to explain.

"How are you doing though?"

"I shot Daryl." She said looking down on the ground.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. We've all wanted to shoot Daryl. You've actually succeeded." I said smirking which made her break out into a big smile. About an hour later we had prepared dinner and we were all sitting at the table waiting for Lori and Carol to appear. Lori came downstairs but her eyes were puffy and cheeks slightly red. She had been crying. We all sat down and tucked down into our food quietly. I was sitting beside Rick and Lori with Shane opposite. Rick passed looks to Shane every now and then giving him the same looks I was giving him earlier. This was awkward. I don't think anyone was enjoying this dinner at all.

"Does anybody know how to play guitar?" Glenn asked from the smaller table with Maggie, Beth and Jimmy.

"Come on, somebody's gotta know how to play," He said smiling.

"Pol can." Rick said mouth full of food as I nudged his knee making him smirk.

"You can?" Lori asked.

"A little." I said feeling embarrassed the attention was on me.

"She's too modest. But she definitely can't sing." Rick said and a few chuckles broke out over the table. Rick nudged my knee with his making me smile. I don't know where this playful side of his came out but he was looking at me with a mischievous look in his eye.

"Otis did." Patricia said next to Hershel solemnly making me stop smiling instantly.

"Yeah and he was very good too." Hershel said. After dinner ended I saw Maggie and Glenn sneaking out of the house making me roll my eyes. Those kids were going to get caught I looked back at them shaking my head. I helped clear the plates away as I felt someone stand close to me.

"What, you don't approve?" I looked up as Rick spoke in a quiet voice.

"It's not that. They're going to get caught." I whispered looking over at Hershel who was in the kitchen clearing up. I picked up the glasses and put them in the plate.

"That's half of the fun." Rick said smirking, I just shook my head.

"What, you never snuck out when you were younger?" He asked.

"Didn't have anyone to sneak out with." I shrugged passing the plate to him.

"You didn't date anyone?" Rick said looking surprised.

"Ever?"

"Why is that such a shock?" I said chuckling.

"I just though someone like you," Rick started trying to explain himself.

"Someone like me?" I asked him trying to get him to elaborate, enjoying the fact he was getting flustered.

"You're very," Rick opened then closed his mouth.

"Very?" I prompted him biting back a smile.

"Easy to get along with." Rick said after a while.

"Well having a good command of the english language helps." I smirked at him seeing how uncomfortable he was getting.

"You know what I mean." Rick said rolling his eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked looking at him directly this time.

"Well, you're fun."

"Smart. Witty. Opinionated. Funny." Rick said listing things off.

"Do I really need to explain why I like you?" Rick smiled making me stare at him.

"As a friend." He put his hands up cheeks turning red.

"Am I making you nervous?" I said shocked slightly.

"Nervous? No. Why would I be?" He chuckled slightly.

"You tell me Rick." I said fully smiling.

"I think I'm gonna go get a drink." He chuckled uneasily walking off. Oh my god. I think Rick found me hot? I hope I didn't read too much into that and thought it was something it's not. But a nervous Rick Grimes, probably the cutest thing I had ever seen. That's not fair Rick when I've got a huge crush on you. And you've got a wife. That didn't stop me from smiling.

"What are you looking so happy about?" Beth said smiling at my expression.

"Uh nothing." I stammered grinning at her.

 **A/N: I could not resist having that cute fluffiness there at the end. I mean it's a romance story, what do you expect...**


	9. Chapter 9 - Point Break

**A/N: Phew okay I'm so not ready to post this chapter. You guys are definitely not going to like me after this happens but I'm doing this for a reason. Eventually a chapter like this was going to be written, it's going to change relationships and the way certain people act with other people. But I guess a good point is, posting this chapter means that we're one step closer to getting over it.**

 **once again I wanna thank everyone who reads and follows this story! Thank you to Lizard21 who's now following my story and my reviewers:**

 **JasminJW: XD Hey now, the description says slow-burn. Which means just because she has a little/huge crush on Rick that doesn't mean he's gonna reciprocate his feelings straight up. Like oh no, its gonna be a while. There's definitely some form of attraction there between them. But after this chapter.. well you'll see.**

 **Ryane: Lol honestly neither can I. However I absolutely love building tension and drama and discourse which will all eventually lead to that moment. but not just yet.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any of it's affiliated characters, only my OC and my plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

"Mornin' everybody," Rick came out of the tent Lori and him shared looking extremely cheerful. T-Dog and Andrea were sitting by the bench with Shane cleaning out the rifles, Dale standing guard on the RV and Glenn talking to Lori intensely about something.

"Morning sheriff." I tipped a fake hat at him shooting him a smile.

"Not a sheriff anymore." He said.

"I know but I've forever associated you with it." I smiled sheepishly as he shook his head.

"So not nervous anymore huh?" I said walking away hearing him jog after me.

"That wasn't me bein' nervous. I wasn't flirtin' with you or anything." Rick defended.

"It's alright. I never said you were." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's known as Polaris syndrome. Everyone gets infatuated with me at some point, it's not your fault you can't resist my charms." I mock shrugged. Woah where was this confidence coming from. Maybe I just had a good night's sleep.

"Since when are you charming?" Rick asked hands on his hips.

"Well apparently I'm fun, smart, witty and opinionated." I said listing off the qualities on my fingers grinning at Rick.

"We can add charming to the list too?" Rick's eyes were darting around all over the place. Poor guy. I made him uncomfortable.

"It's okay Rick. I'm only teasing, it's not like we slept together or anything." I said immediately slapping my face.

"Foot in mouth disease. Could you pretend I didn't say that?" I said my cheeks turning red.

"Gladly." Rick said chuckling.

"You have a very obvious tell when you're nervous. Your cheeks flare up." Rick tapped my cheek teasing me.

"Says you. Who gets all flustered." I said scoffing.

"It's okay now. But I used to get very nervous around the opposite gender. Even if I didn't like them, I wasn't like Shane in high school, I was awkward." Rick explained as I shook my head hard at him.

"What?" He asked.

"Awkward around girls. Do you expect me to believe this sob story Mr Grimes? I don't believe it for a second Mr. dreamy blue eyes." I said making Rick laugh.

"I don't have dreamy blue eyes." He said disbelievingly.

"Carol." I called out to the woman walking past. She came up to Rick and looked him in the face.

"Definitely dreamy." She said before walking away making me burst out laughing.

"You have this terrible affliction my friend." I said putting my hand up on his shoulder.

"It's called being attractive." I said.

"You think I'm attractive?" There was a hint of a smile on his face. Oh shit. You idiot why did you say that.

"That's not what I said." I defended.

"Honestly What is it with you men, selective hearing." I joked but he continued to press on the matter.

"Oh no I'm pretty sure I heard you." Rick said not letting the subject go smirking at me.

"Honestly I have no idea what you're talking about." Really Pol? Full denial?

"I think you should get more sleep." I said turning around to walk towards the RV.

"Rest my dreamy eyes?" Rick called out to me.

"You said it." I laughed.

—

"Glenn," I said looking at the man who was pacing nervously outside with binoculars looking at the farmhouse. He jumped when he saw me arrive.

"Uh what are you doing?" I asked the man who looked terrified. Maggie came and dropped a basket of food by Glenn's feet giving him a look as he continued to be nervous.

"Nothin' I'm not doing anything. What are you doing?" He stuttered out eyes darting back and forth. I followed his gaze to the farmhouse then back to him.

"Something going on between you and Maggie? What's wrong?" I asked concerned as he had gone pale.

"Why would you assume something's wrong, everything's great." He chuckled nervously.

"Right." I said narrowing my eyes at him. I went to T-Dog and Dale who threw me a piece of fruit as Glenn walked away.

"What's up with him?" I asked mouth full of food.

"I don't know. He's always been a bit odd." Dale said scratching my head. I walked to where Lori was to thank her for the advice she gave me yesterday when I overheard Glenn talking to her in hushed voices.

"What did Rick say?" Glenn asked her as she leaned down to make the fire bigger.

"You didn't tell him?!" He exclaimed and she shushed him.

"Okay. But you have to. You're pregnant!" Glenn whisper shouted and I dropped the firewood I was carrying making both of them turn around. Holy shit. So that's what she was doing in the field that night. Must've been a pregnancy test.

"You're pregnant?!" I said shocked. Lori glared at Glenn who apologised for telling before he walked away.

"Uh yeah. I don't see how that's any of your business though." Lori said harshly making me take a step back. She closed her eyes and stood up calmly in front of me.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"No it's okay don't worry about it. You should tell Rick! You need food, vitamins, a nice pillow! Here take some of my beef jerky." I handed it to her and she shook her head.

"Honey, I don't want your food, okay? Eat." She stated.

"Lori you need to be looked after. You have a medical condition." She scoffed at my statement before picking up the firewood I left on the floor.

"Glenn could make another run into town for you." I suggested trying to convince her to let somebody look after her.

"Look what I need is for you guys to be quiet about this. All right? Please." She pleaded clasping my hands in her own. I nodded agreeing with her before smiling at her and walking away. Shit. Lori was pregnant. With Rick. They were going to have a child. I need to stop flirting with Rick, I need to stop being so friendly with him. He's going to be a father, he needs to be there for his family.

I walked back towards the tents and saw Daryl leaning on a pillow reading a book.

"Wow, I didn't know you could read." I said coming into the tent with my arms crossed. I sat down in front of him as he closed the book.

"Shocking but this one don't have no pictures." Daryl smirked at me.

"You're looking a lot better, well rested." I said seeing the colour had returned to his face and that he was looking cleaner and less in pain.

"I feel okay now. Hey you promised me food last night but you didn't bring any." He complained.

"Oh, I forgot." I said sheepishly remembering my encounter with Rick. I was acting like a school girl crush that I had completely forgot to bring him a plate.

"Don't worry Carol brought me some." Daryl said and I made a cute face at him making him glare at me.

"You were probably too busy makin' eyes at Rick." Daryl said rolling his eyes as I punched him in the arm.

"Will you shut up?" I said annoyed and he put his hands up.

"I'm going to go see where he is. For the search today." I said patting his arm.

"I'm gonna come." Daryl began sitting up but I shoved him back down to lying position.

"You're going to rest." I ordered leaving his tent. Shane, Rick and Jimmy had the map laid out on the hood of the Cherokee and were making plans for a search party. I came up and joined them as they were discussing which areas to search next.

"Maybe Sophia dropped the doll by the creek and the current brought it downstream." Rick said pointing on the map.

"So you think, she took this road here and then she went north?" Shane asked as Rick nodded turning to Jimmy.

"What's up that way?"

"A housing development." He answered hands in his face.

"Take a run up there after gun practise, after what went down with Daryl, I don't want anyone going out alone, we stay in pairs." Rick said as Glenn came over with the fruit basket looking guilty and it was painfully obvious that he had something to hide. He looked at me eyes wide as I facepalmed he began giving fruit to everyone.

Glenn looked back at Lori who held the big stick up higher and then back to Rick. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him. Glenn handed the binoculars back to Shane then walked off making Rick look at him strangely.

"We'd like to join you for gun training today." I turned around at Beth's sweet voice and Patricia who I felt guilty every time I saw her face.

"Hershel's been very clear. I can't involve any of you in what we do without his okay." Rick squinted biting on his apple. The sun was blinding my face, so I put my hands on Rick's back ever so slightly to block out the harsh light from my eyes. Rick turned around looking at me amused.

"The sun," I pointed up and he chuckled turning back around.

"He doesn't like it. But he consented." Beth said.

"Otis was the one who knew guns." Patricia said making me look down. The Otis guilt I was carrying around with me was getting too hard to bear and I needed to tell someone, to alleviate my conscious slightly.

"No offence but I'll ask Hershel myself." Rick said. Shane was over talking to Carl who was finally out walking around, then he pulled a gun out from his back. What the-

"How the hell did this happen?" Lori said angrily putting the gun into her back pocket with Carl sitting on the bench. I sat by him tapping his shoulder but he shrugged me off feeling upset.

"Well I let him into the RV, he said he wanted a walkie. That you sent him for one." Dale said slowly.

"So on top of everything, he lied. What's he thinking?" Lori said disbelievingly to Carl.

"Carl," I said lowly.

"Buddy why did you take a gun? I asked him gently prodding.

"He wants to learn how to shoot. He asked me to teach him, now its none of my business but I'd be happy to. Your call." Shane said shrugging. Carl was 10 years old. He was way too young to learn how to shoot.

"Well I am not comfortable with it." Lori chuckled shaking her head making Rick look at her.

"Oh don't make me to be the unreasonable one here. Rick?" She said disbelievingly.

"Trust me you're not." I stood up coming into the conversation.

"It's totally your call. But Carl is 10 years old, it is important to defend himself but I think he's way too young." I said.

"I know." Rick said nodding at me then Lori.

"I have my concerns too, but-"

"There's no but he was just shot. He's just back on his feet and he wants a gun?" She put her hands on her hips.

"Better than him being afraid of 'em." Rick said looking at Shane. I bit my lip, it's not my place to say anything.

"There are guns in camp for reason. He should learn to handle them safely." Rick defended trying to prove his point.

"I don't want my kid walkin' around with a gun!" Lori exclaimed.

"How can you defend that? It's for protection." Rick said.

"He's as safe as he'll ever be right here." Lori said firmly.

"We've got to start treating him more like an adult." Rick said looking into Lori's eyes.

"I'm not gonna play with it mom. It's not a toy. I'm sorry I disappointed you, but I want to look for Sophia, I want to defend our camp. I can't do that without a gun." Carl stood up walking towards his present. Kid's got balls. I'll give him that.

"Shane's the best instructor I know." Rick was eye level with Lori who was deep in thought. Lori walked over to Carl and squeezed his chin forcing him to look up her.

"You will take this seriously, and you will behave responsibly. If I hear from anyone this camp you are not living up to our expectations-" She said delivering her ultimatum.

"He won't let you down." Rick interrupted.

"Yeah." Carl nodded looking seriously at his mom. Lori walked away unhappy with Carl leaving with Shane, Carol, Andrea, Beth and Patricia in the cars to go to the gun range. I walked over to Glenn and Dale who were conversing intensely. Lori, Rick and Carl also went to go practise. Hmm, maybe I should've gone with them.

"Finally telling Dale what you've been hiding?" I came out from behind the tree with Glenn looking surprised and worried. I bit down on the apple I was eating as he stopped talking.

"Don't let me stop you," I motioned for him to go on.

"What if somebody told you something, that somebody else should know," Glenn started speaking in riddles.

"Glenn, stop being dramatic, spit it out." Dale said holding the rifle.

"There's walkers in the barn and Lori's pregnant." My mouth hung open in surprise as I stood next to Dale.

"Fuck."

Dale and me decided to go check it out for ourselves. We took a walk down the fields all the way to the farmhouse which had a chain and padlock around it. I held the chain and tried to pull it apart. Who knew how many were in there, we should get rid of them. Dale shook his head at me and we heard the distinct sounds of moans and groans.

"We should open the lock and deal with them." I said quietly making sure no one could see.

"Bad idea." Dale said.

"Why?"

"Hershel's obviously keeping them around for a reason. Whatever sick and twisted reason, I don't know." He said inspecting the barn door.

"Then we should tell Rick and the others." I said putting hands on my hips.

"Not that." Dale said once again.

"Why?" I asked shocked.

"What do you think some people will do in our camp, if they find out?" He asked emphasising on the some.

"You mean Shane." I said slowly.

"You know about him?" I asked bewildered.

"A few weeks ago I caught him pointing his rifle at Rick." Dale said quietly.

"What?!" Dale nodded.

"Shane's dangerous."

"I know." I sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"H-he threatened me. O-on that run for Carl." I said not finding the right words to say.

"Threatened you? How?" I took in a deep breath then started to explain.

"We were not going to make it out of the high school with the medical supplies we needed, and we were down to our last rounds. Injured. A horde of walkers behind us. Shane said, Otis was slowing us down." I started to explain watching as Dale's face showed an expression of shock.

"That if I didn't shoot him, he would hurt Rick and Lori again." I said my legs feeling shaky. A dawn of realisation fell on him.

"You-"

"Yeah. I shot Otis."

I explained shooting Otis in the leg then instantly regretting it but him and Shane tussled on the ground with Shane eventually taking the backpack off him and leaving him to be eaten by the Walkers. Dale stepped away from me looking at me differently.

"You shot him? How, how could you?" Dale asked disbelievingly.

"I truly thought he was going to hurt Rick, especially now after what you've just told me!" I tried to make him see it my way but it wasn't working. I reached out to touch his arm but he moved back.

"Are-are you going to tell the others?" I asked feeling tears fill my eyes.

"I'm gonna go talk to Hershel, about the barn." Dale walked away but I know, he would never feel safe around me again, he would never look at me right again. And who knows if he would tell the others. Feeling utterly helpless. I collapsed down onto the floor and cried with my hands in my face. I don't know how long I stayed there for, but I heard the cars approaching signalling the others had come back from the gun range. I quickly wiped my tears and stood up clearing the grass off my body and walked back up towards the RV. I was consciously aware of my puffy eyes and washed my face with cold water hoping it wouldn't look obvious.

T-Dog was joking with Carl around the fire and Lori was talking to Hershel who was fixing the fence. I went over to them and sat by Carl, ruffling his hair.

"So I hear you shoot like a pro now?" I said as he smiled.

"Dad said I did well. For my age." He nodded and I looked at T-Dog.

"I think he's ready to defend the camp now." T-Dog laughed and I smiled. I let down my hair from being up all day feeling slightly more lightheaded. The breeze washed over me and I took a deep breath trying to stay calm and figure out my best move.

"How come you didn't come Pol?" Carl asked eating a peach.

"Uhm, I don't know. I'll come next time for sure though. I think I'm much better with a knife anyways." I said twirling it between my fingers. I got up off the tree stump we were sitting on and carved Carl's name and my name into the wood.

"See?" I asked him grinning and he smiled.

"Now our names will always be here." I looked up seeing Rick and Lori in a heated conversation trying to keep their voices low. Maybe she told him about the pregnancy. I looked up at them again seeing Rick with his hand on her cheek comforting her. I looked back down. It was clearly a private moment.

Dale was frying up burgers with Carol sorting out the plates.

"Hey, Carol." I waved to her and she smiled walking over to me.

"How was the range?"

"I don't think guns are for me." She said uneasily.

"I'm sure you'll get the hang of it." I patted her shoulder.

"Dale could probably give you a few pointers." I grinned looking at Dale but he simply nodded his head ignoring me. Okay. I deserve that. Lori came over smiling before holding her nose and looking pale walking back out again. I started walking after her before Dale gave me a look following her instead. I sat by the fire defeated. He hates me, sweet old Dale reacted like that. Imagine how the others would react. Lori. Carl. Glenn. Rick. I clutched my stomach feeling a sharp stabbing pain. My lower back started aching and the muscles in my legs started cramping up. Oh no. Please not that. Shit.

"Glenn!" I shouted seeing him get ready to leave for his pharmacy run.

"Could you add pads do your list?" I asked sheepishly feeling slightly embarrassed.

"I guess you guys call them tampons. Feminine hygiene section. Thanks buddy." I gave him a quick hug then ran back to sitting by the fire. I felt another wave of cramps below my stomach and felt someone come and sit by me.

"Hey," I said clutching my stomach and saw Rick clicking his jaw.

"You look like you need to talk," I said to him and he looked at me. He looks pissed. And sad.

"Everything okay?" I asked him.

"I just wanna sit by the fire. Next to a friend. In silence." He said blue eyes looking in the flames. I nodded and sat in silence with him staring into the fire. I wanted to tell him. About Otis. The outbreak and everything.

"You know I don't think I'm doing a good job." Rick said suddenly sighing. I turned slightly to face him as he looked down at me.

"Of leading this camp." He finished.

"You got us out of that quarry. You helped us get to the CDC and here to Hershel's farm. You've helped lead the search for Sophia every single day." I said.

"Don't beat yourself up, you've done a lot." I said looking into the fire.

"The CDC? That was a bust." He chuckled.

"And it's because of me Sophia went missing." He said rubbing a hand in his hair.

"We've all made mistakes Rick, but they're in the past. We just do our best to rectify them." I sighed putting my elbows on my knees.

"What, like your past?" I looked up at him seeing the questioning gaze in his eyes.

"I didn't miss what Shane said back in the woods." He explained.

"Is there something you're not telling me? And there was something about that run you did with Shane and Otis." Rick asked now interrogating me but I remained silent.

"You can trust me." He emphasised.

"What really went down that night?" He asked. It was now or never. He was going to find out eventually.

"Otis." I said holding my breath.

"I shot him." Rick looked completely taken aback and his eyes showed betrayal. He stood up from the tree stump towering over me as I stood up next to him.

"W-what?"

"I shot him." I sighed. I ran through the whole story of our run in at the high school and how we were down to our last rounds, Shane threatened me to do it because we were never going to all make it out and how he said he would kill Rick.

"No." Rick said shaking his head immediately after I finished telling the story.

"I don't believe it." Rick said.

"Which part don't you believe?" I asked shocked that he didn't accept my story.

"My best friend Shane, threatened you saying he would kill me?" Rick asked eyebrows creasing.

"Look you said I could trust you. And I've told you what I know, what happened." I said running a hand back through my hair pacing.

"I know what I've done. I know the way you're looking at me now. Like you can't trust me." I said seeing the look in his eyes as he turned away slightly.

"I'm already beating myself up for it more than you ever could." I stated.

"But Shane. Shane is dangerous."

"You lied to all of us. We told Hershel and we told Patricia that her husband died a hero, but you killed him." Rick said angrily.

"I didn't have a choice! Or I felt like I didn't have a choice." I explained trying to defend my actions.

"You killed a man in cold blood."

"Rick no-"

"Shane, Shane is dangerous!"

"You're dangerous." He stepped back from me walking away leaving me by the fire.

 **A/N: Please don't kill me :3**


	10. Chapter 10 - Alone and Miserable

**A/N: A rollercoaster of a chapter. You guys are not ready. You'll be both happy and sad, that's all I'm gonna say.**

 **Thanks to everyone who reads and supports my story! Especially my reviewers:**

 **JasminJW: That was my reaction too when I wrote it xD But It was gonna happen eventually.**

 **frosiedog: I know! I think because as a group they've been through so much it's taught them to be wary and assume the worst. some issues will be dealt with in this chapter.**

 **Ryane: You're 100% right our darling Rick can sometimes be an idiot. But don't worry, think about it this way he's just especially mad because its between two people he cares about a lot: Shane and Pol and he's confused about what to think and how to deal with the situation.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking dead or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and my plotline.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

Dangerous? He thought I was dangerous. No.

"Hey!" I shouted walking after him before he disappeared inside his tent. I pulled his arm turning him around as he looked at me in small shock.

"You don't get to walk away like that. Not after you said I could trust you. Now I'm asking you to trust me." I forced him to look into my eyes.

"I've been carrying this around with me for the past couple of weeks. Unable to tell anyone, I've been afraid of your best friend Shane who has threatened me on multiple occasions and has wanted me to leave since I got here." I said flustered.

"You can't deny that." I raised my eyebrows at him as he continued to listen to me.

"I made that decision. I made that decision for Amy because I thought it was the best for the camp. I shot Otis in the leg because I truly believed he would hurt you." I said calming down.

"Do you wanna know what Dale told me?"

"What?" Rick said finally speaking for the first time.

"That Shane aimed and pointed a gun at your back. He said that. Now are you going to say you don't believe him either?" I asked looking into his piercing gaze.

"It's just. I don't want to believe that my best friend, the man who kept my wife and son safe, when I couldn't. Is capable of doing that." Rick said scratching his neck.

"He blackmailed you okay. But why did you listen to him? If he did try to go through with is threat I could've handled it. Why did you shoot Otis?" Rick asked coming slightly closer.

"I-"

"Shane has something on you doesn't he? That's what he meant on your past." Rick said shaking his head.

"I'm going to tell you. But you're going to hate me forever." I said looking down.

"Tell me." Rick said firmly.

"I caused this. All of this." I said daring to look up seeing his eyes water.

"W-what do you mean?" He said moving backwards.

"I told you I worked in research right? Finding a cure for HIV? It's an aggressive virus so my team in Washington developed an equally aggressive viral strain to combat it." I said explaining and he nodded his face showing realisation.

"Members of my team were conducting research on it whilst I wasn't in the lab. They contaminated themselves and the virus infected them all and killed them. Then the word zombie started being thrown around but I didn't believe it until I saw it for myself. When I got there, I saw members of my own team walking around as those things." I said tears in my eyes.

"And it got out, and the outbreak happened. Everyone got infected. You know the rest. I'm the cause of all of it." I said. Rick looked at me then turned around and walked away without saying a word.

—

I was left standing there by myself as the sun was setting. Rick rushed out of his tent and across into the field where Lori was, holding something in his hands. I'm sure he's going to tell her everything now. But instead he seemed to have lost his temper at her.

I took one of the guns from the RV not attempting to even talk to Dale who I'm sure wouldn't let me. I took a silencer and a box of bullets and took a car heading out to the gun range they set up with the cans. I loaded the bullets and began practising with the handgun but I missed every single one of my shots. In frustration I threw the gun. I went to go find it, picked it up and calmly tried again. I managed to hit my target knocking the cans off the stumps until I had used up the bullets in the round. I sat down in the middle of the field with my knife and put my head down against the soft grass. It was peaceful here. I was honestly in no rush to go back and face what had happened at all.

"Polaris?" I heard a voice call out. Leave me alone. They were getting closer and closer. Whoever they were leaned in front of me but I dragged them down to the floor rolling on top of the him holding the knife over their head.

"Woah! Woah!" Glenn was struggling underneath with his hands up in a surrender. I rolled off him and rolled my eyes helping him to stand up.

"You're surprisingly strong for your size." Glenn said brushing off the dirt.

"What are you doing here Glenn?" I resheathed my knife.

"Came to look for you. Saw you take off in one of the cars, without telling anybody." He said.

"Maybe I didn't tell anyone because I wanted to be alone." I said slightly annoyed.

"What's wrong?" Glenn asked and I sighed.

"Nothing Glenn. Look the two people who asked me that, I gave them answers and now they hate me, so don't mind if I don't actually say anything to you." I stated running a hand through my hair.

"Dale and Rick?" Glenn answered after a minute.

"Yeah, how do you know?" I asked surprised.

"They seemed off. Was it bad?" Glenn asked trying to get details making me scoff.

"You wouldn't believe it." I said.

"Well if you need anyone to talk to. I'm here." Glenn said supportively which I appreciated.

"Thanks Glenn." I said genuinely.

"But I took Rick up on that offer and now he's not speaking to me." I walked away from him getting in the car I drove in and he got in the other one. 5 minutes later we were back at Hershel's farm.

A few days had passed and we were around the fire eating lunch. The group was slightly fragmented. Lori apparently was trying to swallow pills to abort the baby but Rick stopped her and she decided to keep it. I'm happy for her, she has something to live for. Carl was much better and walking around getting better on the gun range. Glenn and Maggie were still sneaking around but they seemed happy together. Dale was quieter than usual since I had told him what happened. And Rick. Rick didn't even look in my direction anymore.

Really the only company I had was Daryl. And he wasn't much of a talker at all. I was spending more time with Carol these days since she was one of the only ones who didn't completely hate me. I helped her plate up the meat and handed them to Rick who took it without looking at me which really really hurt. I could feel myself getting more alone and more miserable. It was worse than surviving on my own. Because here I had a group of people who wanted nothing to do with me.

I was sitting on the grass next to Daryl who was stuffing his face full of eggs.

"Sure you've had enough there?" I asked amused to which he gave me a response with his mouth full of food. Glenn looked nervous and got up walking to the front of the tent.

"Uhm guys?" We all turned our attention to him.

"the barn is full of walkers." He said making everybody drop their food in shock. Shit Glenn. Well at least he didn't hide it for long. He told them straight up. I looked at Shane who made a sour face then at Rick who's jaw clicked into place. He looks extremely pissed off. We all walked over to the barn as Shane peeked through the gap in the door hearing the familiar scuffling and groaning of the walkers.

"This is definitely bad." Rick said next to me giving me a side glance as I nodded. Shane took a step back shoving past Rick.

"You cannot tell me you're alright with this," He said angrily.

"No, I'm not, but we're guests here." Rick said calmly.

"God, this is our lives man!" Shane shouted.

"Lower your voices!" Glenn hissed.

"Look, we can't just march up to Hershel and tell him that we want to kill the Walkers inside his barn. Whatever it is, he has a reason. We have to respect that." I stated.

"Pol's right." Rick said calling my name for the first time in days.

"It ain't right, not remotely." Shane said pacing in front of us.

"We have been talking about Fort Benning for a while, we should just go." Shane said putting the cap back on his head.

"We can't go," Rick said pushing Shane back.

"My daughter is still out there." Carol said entering the conversation. Shane laughed and put his hands over his mouth.

"I think we need to start considering the other possibility-"

"Shane! Listen to me now, we are not leaving Sophia behind." Rick said slowly.

"I'm close to finding this girl I just found her doll a few days ago!" Daryl exclaimed standing in front of Carol.

"That's a doll Daryl! That's what you did man you found a doll!" Shane said berating him.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Daryl came up to Shane flailing his arms out towards him. I came in front of Daryl pushing him back slightly making him glare at me.

"I'm just saying what needs to be said, if she was alive and saw you comin' with blood and geek ears around your neck she'd run in the other freaking direction!" Shane shrugged walking away from him.

"Shut your mouth!" Daryl said trying to reach him. Rick got in between them and Shane threw a punch which knocked Rick to the floor. Me and Lori ran towards him helping him up. Rick had blood on his lip which I wiped away with my sleeve. He gave me a look. He was starting to believe me. Shane was dangerous.

"Just let me talk to Hershel! Let me figure it out." Rick said moving away from us. Lori watched me when I wiped the blood from his cheek with a look I couldn't figure out. But it wasn't a good one.

"What the hell are you going to figure out?" Shane shouted coming up to him as Lori stood in the middle.

"If we're gonna clear the barn. This is his land, I'm gonna have to talk him into it." Rick said angrily.

"Hershel doesn't see those things as Walkers. He sees them as people, sick people." I said.

"I talked to him yesterday, that's what he said." Dale said.

"You knew?" Rick asked incredulously.

"I was waiting till this morning to say it, I thought we could survive one more night. And we did." Dale said firmly.

"The man is crazy Rick, if Hershel thinks those things are alive, then no!" Shane shouted. That was the final straw, the Walkers started snarling and moaning trying to push the barn door open. Rick pushed me behind him and I looked up into the back of his head. He still cared. No matter what he said. He cared. We walked back to the tents in silence where Lori was studying with Carl. Its good she was teaching him still, he needed to learn even if establishments like schools were no longer standing.

I was sharpening my knife nearby as they were talking to each other. They have a right to know. To know that I'm the reason for this, soon then I should probably make preparations to leave. But there's no way in hell I'm going to leave without exposing Shane to be the asshole he really is first.

No way. I looked up and Lori hugged Carl kissing him on his head. It must be nice to be a mother, I know that I'll never get that chance now. To raise a family. Especially in a post-apocalyptic world. She's brave for doing that.

I got up and walked over to the RV passing Glenn walking in the other direction. I saw Dale on top of the RV with a rifle. Perfect. I walked up the ladder and stood in front of him.

"We're going to talk. Right now. And I'm gonna tell you my whole story. You're going to listen and then you can decide you never want to speak to me again." I stated not giving him room to speak. He looked at me for a moment then gestured for me to sit down next to him. I told him everything, how my research lead to the outbreak, how I survived for those 6 months by myself and what happened with Otis and the fact Shane threatened me by finding my file. Dale understood. He was the first person I told everything to and I think he understood.

"Wow." He said.

"I know."

"It's not your fault you know." Dale stated looking at me.

"What?"

"This." He gestured around him.

"You said yourself that science is unpredictable. How were you to know that it would lead to this? You were doing something worthwhile to help people." Dale said and I looked at him in shock my eyes filling with tears.

"You don't blame me?" I asked my voice shaking.

"I want to. But I don't. I've accepted this is what it is." Dale said.

"I was so mad at you yesterday. I guess I thought you were this perfect person. Someone who had been out there long enough but still retained their humanity. Someone better than me. But we all have our flaws, and I know you were out there for a while. It's not completely possible to stay the way you were. I was just shocked." Dale explained.

"I'm sorry for reacting that way without thinking." He said.

I couldn't stop myself I threw my arms around him hugging him as he rubbed my back slightly. I pulled away my eyes puffy from crying.

"I know what I did with Otis was so completely wrong. But I was so afraid of Shane, of what he was going to do. That you would all find out my dirty secret." I said and Dale nodded.

"But after Otis, I said I didn't care, I wouldn't let him manipulate me like that. I was going to tell you all, I really wanted to tell Rick." I said putting my hands on my face.

"You and Rick have gotten pretty close." Dale said and I looked at him.

"Just because I'm old, that doesn't mean I can't see things." He gave me a small smile making me chuckle.

"You two have a real connection."

"That may be true but I would never do that to Lori. Especially now since she's pregnant. I did tell him you know. Yesterday." I said and his eye widened.

"What did he say?"

"He didn't believe me about Shane. He thought I was cold-blooded for what I did to Otis. I told him about the outbreak too. He hasn't spoken to me since." I said sadly.

"He'll come round." I looked at him disbelievingly.

"He will, I know it doesn't seem like that but he'll come to understand why you did what you did." Dale said calmly.

"I hope so." I sighed as Dale patted my shoulder. I kept watch with him up on the RV for a while, feeling slightly less alone and less miserable.

I was walking down the field when I saw Rick. He walked towards me and pulled my arm back slightly.

"I was just with Hershel, trying to figure out what to do with the barn." He started to speak as I looked up to his blue eyes.

"I was just saying how being out there, changes a person. You see what goes on first-hand, it makes you less of a person having to do the things that you do. You must've carried that guilt around with you for a while." Rick said looking down at me.

"See Rick you're still not getting it." I said getting angry now.

"I didn't tell you for you to give me sympathy. I stopped feeling sorry for myself ages ago. I told you so you could understand my situation. I told you because I trust you and you're my friend. If I can't speak to my friend, then who do I have left?" I said firmly.

"You shot Otis." He said in a low voice.

"It doesn't matter what you've done we don't kill people," He raised his voice slightly.

"You're absolutely right that's what I did. I made a decision in that moment, am I going to risk your, Lori's and you son's life because Shane said he would hurt you. Or am I going to do what he said because he knew things about me and manipulated me to get what he wanted." I came up close to him feeling rage.

"I changed Rick. This is the kind of person I am. And if you don't like that and don't want me here, then just say the word and I'm gone." I said throwing my hands up.

"You don't know how I feel every time Patricia or Hershel bring up Otis' name and I have to try not to break down and cry." I said my voice shaking. Rick held out a hand but then brought his arm back down straight away.

"But I would seriously consider re-evaluating who your best friend Shane is. I was scared of him Rick. I couldn't sleep at night properly because I was scared of what he might ask me to do next. I was not ready for you guys to find out about my past. Because of precisely this reaction." I said. Rick was looking at me with gentle gaze in his eyes now.

"I would seriously ask Shane what happened at the CDC as well." I said and Rick looked at me slightly confused.

"I don't want that." Rick said after a minute.

"I don't want you to leave, I want you to be safe." He spelt out.

"But you're ignoring me while I'm here? You won't even look at me Rick. So give me a reason to stay." I challenged him looking into his eyes.

He bent down to my level and leaned in close to my face, he was centimetres away now, his icy blue eyes piercing looking into my brown coloured ones. I realised I had unintentionally moved closer too. He held my gaze for a moment and I could see the freckles on his nose, the stubble of a bear covering his face. His hair was wavy and pushed back from his head. I subconsciously tucked a strand of hair behind my face daring to look at him again. In that moment, I forgot all the conflicts we had, all the problems. He finally closed the unbearable distance between us and captured my lips in a searing kiss. I tugged on his hair acutely aware it was completely silent in the field around us. It lasted for a few seconds before he pulled away the distance innumerably large again.

"I-I shouldn't have done that." Rick said running a hand through his hair looking around to see if anyone had seen us.

"Uh I shouldn't have let you." I smiled sheepishly.

I was looking at him again wanting to kiss him, but I couldn't. Shit Lori. I felt a pang of guilt pass through my body. Before I made another mistake I walked away from him leaving him standing in the field by himself. I got back to the RV and resisted the urge to smile. But I felt so bad. So guilty. Oh my god. Rick was going to be a father! His wife was pregnant and I kissed him in a field?! Never again. I can't.

"Hey Pol," I turned around seeing Lori come up to me with a smile.

"Hi! Lori," I said overexcitedly as she gave me a strange look.

"Everything's alright?" She checked.

"Yeah it's all good. What are we going to do about the barn?" I asked her changing the subject.

"I'm not sure. I'm worried Hershel won't let us stay here on the farm." She bit her lip looking out over the field seeing Rick and Shane by the barn. I found myself staring at Rick and crushing on him even more before I answered her.

"Well Rick talked to him, I'm sure they'll work something out." I patted her arm comfortingly before walking off sitting comfortably against a tree. I know he kissed me technically, but I didn't actually push him away, I kissed him back. He judged me for killing Otis even when I told him I was manipulated. I told him about Shane so hopefully he'll believe me. But he also said he cared about me. Urgh this was so confusing!

I walked back towards our camp where Rick and Andrea laid the map on the cherokee and were finding a trail for Sophia. I could briefly see Rick's eyes on me but I tried to ignore it feeling my cheeks heat up slightly and went inside the RV. Shane was rummaging around trying to look for something messing the place up.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I shouted at him as he continued to ignore me. He turned the mattress inside out and opened the cupboard pulling things out.

"My damn rifle." He muttered to himself pacing back and forth. He pushed past me coming out of the RV talking to Glenn.

"You see where he went?" He asked up to Glenn.

"Who?"

"Dale," Shane said impatiently.

"He asked me to run and fetch him some water, said he'd cover my watch." Glenn stated.

"And he was gone when you came back." Shane nodded chuckling angrily.

"I don't get it." Glenn said.

"Nah you don't." Shane stomped away from the cars walking down in the direction of the field. He was angry, and he was dangerous looking for Dale. I kept my distance but decided to follow him quietly. I followed Shane into the woods keeping light on my feet and hiding behind the trees whenever he turned around. We came closer to a creek where I saw Dale in the distance, with the rifles?!

"Man that's a good hiding place!" Shane exclaimed cockily as Dale turned around in shock.

"We ain't been to swamps much," Shane said eyeing Dale.

"Maybe if we applied your tracking skills to Sophia." Dale snapped back.

"How about you just give me that bag huh?" Shane asked walking over the stones to where Dale had a rifle slung on his back.

"I'm not gonna do that." Dale said defiantly. I moved as close as I could without being seen and peered out from behind the tree trunk so I could hear them better. Dale saw my head from behind Shane and before he could gave me away I put a finger to my lips hiding back better.

"Yeah, you are Dale. Unless, well, you do have that rifle over your shoulder." Shane said cocking his head.

"You're gonna shoot me like you shot Otis? Or like you forced Polaris to?" He asked him making Shane chuckle.

"Oh so she told you about that huh," Shane laughed.

"Yeah, now I know the story." Dale said not taking his eyes off Shane.

"Hell when you really look at it, in the cold light of day. You're pretty much dead already." He said menacingly. Oh no. He was going to try and kill Dale. I inched forward slightly more to move behind the tree which was directly behind Shane in case he tried something.

"Just give me the guns. Do it now." Shane demanded. I slowly pulled out my knife and held it out in front of me. Just in case. Dale put the bag down against the tree and loaded the rifle, cocking it back he turned around and held it out in front of him.

"Am I gonna have to shoot you? Do I have to kill you? Is that what it's going to take?" Dale threatened him. Shane chuckled and tilted his head, he moved forward taking small steps towards Dale who aimed the gun at him. The barrel of the gun was right against Shane's chest as he taunted the man holding the gun.

"Yeah, that's what it's going to take." Shane stated lowly. Dale lowered his arm holding the gun.

"That's where you're wrong Shane." Dale said eyebrows furrowed.

"This is where you belong. I may not have what it takes but at least I can say, when the world went to shit It didn't take me with it!" He shoved the bag of guns into Shane's arms. Phew. Attaboy Dale. Shane walked away leaving the woods and I came out and looked at Dale who had gone completely pale.

"Come on." I said to him holding his arm to take him out of the woods. We joined the others who were sitting on the porch talking to each other.

"Anybody know what's going on?" Andrea said as T-Dog came with her.

"Weren't you guys supposed to leave a couple hours ago?" I asked her and she nodded.

"Where's Rick?" I asked her.

"He went off with Hershel."

"Yeah you were. Isn't anyone taking this seriously?" Daryl asked angrily as Carol walked beside him.

"Oh here we go." Daryl said as Shane came walking back in with the bag of guns.

"You with me man?" Shane asked Daryl who nodded and handed him a rifle.

"Time to grow up." He said to the camp handing everyone rifles and guns.

"What are you doing?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Oh you and I are gonna have a talk later." he turned to me making me gulp slightly. He wasn't gonna scare me.

"You give everyone guns and my dad's gonna make you leave tonight." Maggie said trying to talk sense into him.

"We have to stay Shane." Carl came out of the house wearing his hat.

"What is this?" Lori asked and I shook my head.

"Hershel's just gonna have to understand. Now we need to find Sophia." Shane said pacing back and forth. He was becoming unhinged, he had a crazed look in his eye. Like he was going to do something dangerous. Something stupid.

"Now you take this," He handed a gun to Carl.

"You keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes. Go on take the gun." He said thrusting the gun out to him.

"Are you crazy?" I stood in front of Carl shoving Shane away. Lori pushed Carl behind her and marched up to Shane.

"Rick said no guns, this is not your call." Lori said in calm anger.

"Oh Shit!" T-Dog said loudly. We all turned around to see what he saw. Coming out of the woods was Hershel leading a bunch of Walkers which were tied up by ropes with Jimmy and Rick who seemed to be herding them. Not killing them. Shane began running after going towards them.

"Shane!" I shouted following him before he did something drastic. Shane pushed open the gate into the field and ran towards him.

"What the hell are you doing?" He shouted at Rick.

"Shane, back off!" Rick shouted back trying to keep control of the Walker he had caught.

"Why do your people have guns?" Hershel questioned Rick.

"Are you kidding me? Are you see what they're holding on to?" Shane pointed at the Walkers.

"I see who I'm holding on to." Hershel shouted back. I began pulling my knife out from the belt but Rick looked at me and shook his head. I gave him an incredulous look before pushing it back in it's place crossing my arms over my chest.

"Shane just let us do this. Then we can talk." Rick said trying to calm him down.

"These things ain't sick. They're not people. They're dead!" Shane raised his voice.

"They are sick!" I shouted at him causing the rest of the group to look at me. The group fell silent with only the Walker's moans and groans could be heard.

"They're infected with a virus." I sighed. Rick pleaded with me. To not tell the rest of the group.

"How do you know that?" Glenn said holding the rifle.

"I told you I worked in research. We were developing a cure for HIV using an aggressive viral strain. One of my team got contaminated and infected. That infection spread and caused the outbreak." The entire group looked at me in shock.

"It's my fault they're like this." I sighed.

"It's not. It's not, you didn't know it would happen." Rick defended me and I gave him a weak smile.

"It's on me that people are dead. It's on me that Otis dead." Patricia came out from behind the group and addressed me directly.

"What do you mean?" She asked her voice wavering. I looked at Shane who was shaking his head aggressively, his eyes threatening.

"I shot him." I can't tell them he forced me to yet, he's holding a rifle. He's erratic and dangerous, we don't know what he could do.

"What?" Patricia asked falling on her knees crying. Beth came out next to her stroking her hair and Maggie looked at me in shock and anger. I saw Lori looking at me in sadness. Andrea, T-Dog, Carl were looking at me in betrayal with Carl having tears in his eyes. I started walking towards him but Lori pushed Carl behind her. I looked at Carol and Daryl who stared at me in shock. Then finally at Rick, who was looking at me sadly.

"I want you off my property by tomorrow." Hershel said and I nodded trying not to cry.

"Wait Hershel. We can talk about thi-" Rick started speaking.

"It's non-negotiable. Either she goes. Or you all leave." Hershel stated finally.

"Rick it's okay." I said staring into those beautiful eyes of his.

"It's okay." I said quieter smiling at him.

"All these things do is kill right here!" Shane resumed shouting as the Walkers were getting harder to control.

"They killed Amy, soon they're gonna kill one of us!" Shane exclaimed as Hershel, Jimmy and Rick herded the Walkers closer to the barn. I walked with them away from the group who were no doubt hating me.

"Hey, Hershel," Shane pulled his attention.

"Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?" He pulled his gun out and fired shots into the chest of the Walker who had once been female.

"No! Stop it!" Rick shouted at Shane who continue to ignore him.

"Someone who's alive they couldn't take that. So why is it still coming?" He fired more shots in the same Walker Hershel was holding. Shane walked up to the Walker shooting it in the head as he dropped to the floor dead. Everyone was looking scared of Shane, his erratic behaviour and the way he was acting. At least the attention was pulled from me slightly. Hershel was on his knees looking at the dead Walker and Daryl had the shotgun up ready to shoot if the others went wild.

"Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone and living next to a barn of things trying to kill us!" Shane shouted.

"If you wanna live, you gotta fight for it. Right here right now!" Shane ran towards the barn ready to open and unlock it.

"Hershel, take this now!" Rick said holding the rope keeping the walker at bay. Hershel was on the floor not registering anything he was saying.

"Please man take it! Take it from me!" I walked up to Rick and held the rope from him nodding to him to go and deal with Shane. Shane got a pickaxe and tried breaking the lock on the barn door.

"No Shane do not do this!" Rick ran after him trying to throw him off the barn door.

"Don't do it!" Glenn shouted panicked.

"Rick!" Lori screamed.

"This is not the way!" Rick screamed at him as they both pulled their guns out. I looked at Hershel who was on the floor crying and Maggie had her arms around him.

The barn doors flung open and Walkers came out of it all at once. Shane began shooting with Andrea, T-Dog and Daryl coming up to flank him. Rick reluctantly pulled out his gun and also began shooting into the Walkers. Glenn came and joined them tears in his eyes. I looked back at Maggie trying to reassure her but she glared at me. Shane turned around and shot the Walker I had held by the rope. I began to walk up behind him ready to draw my knife but Daryl pushed me back.

"No," He said shooting the Walkers. Lori was hugging Carl who was crying on the floor, I stood in front of them protectively with my knife out.

"Stay back!" I told them not giving them time to react to my presence. Suddenly the Walkers stopped and they were lying dead on the floor. There was silence coming from the barn. I walked forwards slowly until I was just standing next to Carol. There was a soft snarling coming from the barn as Shane put his gun up again. The sound of feet shuffling towards the door could be heard and out came Sophia, growling and snapping her teeth.

"Oh God. Oh God! Sophia!" Carol starting crying running towards her but I held her back. She elbowed me coming out of my grasp allowing Daryl to catch her stopping her from going any further. She fell to the floor crying with Daryl's arms around her waist.

"Oh, Sophia." I said softly feeling tear fall from my eyes. Rick walked past me as I touched his arm briefly he glanced back then walked forwards, a firm look in his eyes.

He pulled out the gun from his holster as Sophia walked towards him. And shot her, leaving Carol's wailing to be heard from miles around.

 **A/N: Honestly I don't know what you guys will think of me after this chapter...**


	11. Chapter 11 - Stay

**A/N: I loved reading the reactions some of you had to my chapter yesterday and I'm glad you guys are enjoying it! I wrote the next chapter for all of you which is shorter and has less action in it but more emotion and drama. I'm taking this story in such a way where it's deviating from season 2. To recap, Hershel told her to leave and I intend to follow through on that, just not for a couple of chapters. I just gotta say one thing, you guys will be loving Daryl here. I'm uploading this super late/ early it's 340am here lol and only because I saw a midnight showing of The Last Jedi which is amazing so any Star Wars fans out there? YOull love it!**

 **Thank you to everyone who reads and responds to my story especially my reviewers!**

 **frosiedog: Haha I know I felt like I needed to amp up the level of drama and intensify it for where I intended for this story to go. Well hate is a strong word, people have mixed reactions and you'll get samples of how all the different characters are going to react to her depending on their already established relations with her. I never intended for them to kiss this early but it felt so right in that moment. more fluff to come...**

 **JasminJW: I'm so glad you love this story! I hope you like/enjoy the direction I take this in..**

 **Lizard21: yeah Dale's initial reaction is shocked but I think what I did stayed true to his character. I would love to do that, but we will see**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or it's affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

Rick stood staring at Sophia's body lying on the floor. Carol was still crying uncontrollably and Lori was hugging Carl on the ground.

"Don't look." He turned around to Lori and Carl. Beth was crying wildly and began walking towards the bodies.

"Wait," Rick said trying to hold her back but she shoved him away. I walked after Beth as she pulled the bodies off a female Walker who she began crying over. Suddenly it snarled and tried to grab her hair making her scream. Rick and I were there in a flash pulling her off the Walker as T-Dog ran in stomping it's head until the brain was splattered over the floor. Andrea took an axe and swung it through the head until it stopped growling.

Beth shoved me back looking at me with such hatred in her eyes. I looked away from her, down at the ground with tears filling my eyes. Hershel put an arm around his daughter's shoulders with Patricia holding her other side walking back towards the house. They looked defeated as Maggie trudged along. I stood a good distance behind them, knowing I was not welcome anymore.

"We've been combing these woods for weeks and she was in that barn the whole time!" Shane exclaimed to Rick.

"You knew!" He pointed accusingly at Hershel.

"Shane, just stop man!" Rick said trying to pull him back.

"I think you knew, and you kept it from us." He pointed at the four member family.

"We didn't know!" Maggie snapped back turning around to face him.

"Otis put those people in the barn, maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed." Hershel suggested as Maggie, Beth and Patricia went inside the house. I stood back on the porch steps not knowing what to say.

"But we would never have known. Because he died." Hershel looked at me and I looked down at his unnerving gaze. Rick stood in front of me trying to be the peacekeeper in the situation.

"You know what man I don't believe you." Shane shook his head.

"I don't care what you believe!" Hershel shouted losing his temper.

"Everybody just calm down okay!" Rick put his hands out between Hershel and Shane.

"Get him off my land! Her too!" He pointed at Shane and then me. I couldn't help it, the tears started falling. I walked into the house stuffed my clothes into my pack and took a couple of water bottles and some cans of food as well as sanitary products I needed. I walked back out of the house Rick coming after me.

"Polaris wait," He said trying to stop me. I pushed him off me and walked over to the RV where Carol, Daryl, Lori and Carl were. I took my jacket and walked out without saying a word.

"Pol," I heard Daryl call I ignored him and walked off towards the highway.

"Hey, where you going!" He shouted walking behind.

"Leaving! That's what you guys want." I said brushing the tears away from my face.

"Hershel wanted me off the land. So I'm going! Don't follow me." I shouted. Daryl jogged and caught up walking beside me.

"If you're going I'm going." Daryl said swinging his crossbow over his back.

"Don't be stupid." I scoffed. Daryl stepped in front of me pushing me back.

"What are you doing?" I shouted at him annoyed he wasn't letting me leave.

"Didn't you hear what I said, what I did? Let me leave." I said moving past him. He held my arms not letting me go.

"Daryl," I warned in a low voice.

"Are you really gonna leave without your gun?" He pulled it out from behind him and I could see the P engraved in the colt python.

"Give it to me." I held out my hand to him and he shook his head walking back to the farm.

"Fine I'll just leave without it then." I started walking off.

"And your knife?" I looked down at my belt and my knife was missing. I turned around seeing Daryl holding both the knife and gun in his hand.

"Daryl!" I growled angrily at him.

"You're gonna have to follow me back!" Daryl shouted as I began running after him.

"Give me the knife and gun!" I shouted as his longer legs ran faster.

"No!" He shouted back we reached the RV where we were both out of breath and Daryl put the gun at the back of his trousers. I gave him a glare to which he shrugged. Lori and Carl were looking at us.

"Daryl, I'm leaving today. Whether you like it or not." I said firmly crossing my arms over my chest.

"Thanks Daryl," Rick came up behind him and patted him on the shoulder.

"Please," He came up and stood in front of me.

"Just stay today. Then you can leave tomorrow, I'm going to try to talk to Hershel to see what he says." Rick said walking off back to the house before I could say anything. I was looking at Daryl before walking down on the field, he followed me.

"I'm sorry." Daryl said from behind. I turned around to look at him.

"What are you sorry for?"

"That you felt like you couldn't tell anyone." Daryl said surprisingly. He held out my gun in front of him giving it back to me.

"How are you so sure I won't take it and go?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You won't." He said sure of himself. I took the gun from him and holstered it. I took my knife and re-sheathed it back against my belt.

"I don't believe you shot him in cold blood." Daryl said.

"I didn't," I stated simply and Daryl nodded for me to continue.

"Shane. He found out about my past and blackmailed me that he was going to expose me to the rest of you and that he would hurt Rick, Lori and Carl." I explained.

"I figured as much." Daryl said not seeming surprised.

"You saw that display the barn. He's unhinged." I said.

"Now I tried explaining this to Rick but he can't see past his best friend. I am not leaving with exposing Shane for the bastard he is." I said angrily.

"What do you need?"

I looked over the field to where Andrea was covering up Sophia's body. Daryl went inside the RV to check on Carol, I thought it was best to not see her at the moment. She was a mother in grieving and I wanted nothing more to do than comfort her but she wouldn't take it well if I went with Daryl. No. He's better suited for this. I saw Carl and Lori sitting by the fire looking solemn eating their food.

"Can we talk?" I put my hands on my hips as Lori looked up seeing me standing there. She nodded sending Carl inside the tent she shared with Rick. Lori stood up towering over me.

"Listen I know you're mad at me, I know you probably won't ever trust me again. But this is not about me. This is about Shane." I said.

"What about him?" She asked confused.

"Okay you saw that display of erratic behaviour at the barn. Shane is dangerous. He knew about my past and blackmailed me to shoot Otis, otherwise he'd hurt you and he'd hurt Rick. And after what happened in the CDC, well I didn't want to risk that." I said feeling the tears forming in my eyes. Lori's gaze softened slightly.

"I thought if anyone should get it. It's you." I said gesturing to her.

"I know what you've done. I know you've said you made a mistake and if it was up to me, I wouldn't be sending you away." Lori said pushing my hair back.

"I know." I smiled at her.

"But the reason I came to talk to you, was you need to tell Rick." I said taking in a deep breath.

"Tell him what?"

"About what Shane tried to do to you." Lori took a sharp inhale of breath and began shaking her head.

"Hear me out." I tried to calm her down.

"I tried to explain this to Rick, but his love for Shane is making him blind to it. If it comes from you he may be more inclined to believe. It's up to you to make the decision Lori, it may stop him from hurting more people but I'm not gonna force you." I said and Lori nodded. I sat down by the fire with her sitting down beside me.

"Does Carl hate me?" I asked her tentatively.

"No honey, he doesn't hate you. He's just shocked and sad about Sophia. He wanted to believe he'd be the one to find her." She said rubbing my back.

"I really want to apologise to him." I said sighing.

"I know," Lori said.

"He's a strong kid. He'll move past this and he'll forgive you, I know he will." She said firmly nodding her head. She went inside the tent and brought Carl out, taking his to the house to rest. I followed them down to the barn where Rick, Shane, Andrea, T-Dog and Jimmy were around the bodies.

"We should have a service for Sophia." I said as they turned around to look at me.

"Carol would want that." Andrea agreed.

"We all want that." T-Dog said. Rick stood standing there in silence staring at the dead Walkers on the ground.

"Uh, we're gonna need a truck to move the bodies. We'll have a service for Sophia, Annette and Shaun." Lori nodded at Jimmy as the rest agreed.

"We can bury them up there by those trees." I piped in as Lori nodded her head. Everyone got to work. Andrea disappeared off into the barn to find more Walkers and Lori led Rick over to one side and gestured for me to join her.

"What did Hershel say?" Lori asked him as Rick looked at me guiltily then back at Lori.

"It's okay. Just tell me." I said taking in a breath.

"He wants us off the farm. Pol and Shane at least." I looked at Rick who looked just as sad as I did. His best friend and well me, would have to leave.

"That's not a surprise. We're lucky someone wasn't killed." Lori said lowly. I closed my eyes blinking away the tears. Otis was.

"I'm so-"

"It's okay Lori." I said putting my hands out. I don't need any more sympathy from anyone else. Rick looked around concentrating on a fixed point on the ground.

"Baby, what is it?" Lori asked him as he refused to meet her gaze.

"She was there, this whole time." He chuckled dryly gesturing to the farm.

"You did everything you could." I looked up at him as he turned his attention to me.

"Yeah, I know, I always do don't I?" He sighed looking down at the ground.

"Went after her. Protected her. Killed those Walkers, but she still got bit. Carl got shot." Rick said his voice wavering slightly.

"People counted on me and I was chasing a ghost in a forest." Rick said before storming off throwing his knife to one side.

"I can try to-" I suggested and Lori nodded giving her consent. I walked off after Rick jogging slightly to keep up with his strides.

"Rick," I called out softly and he turned around.

"You can't blame yourself for the turn of events that happened. It's the same as me. I was trying to work on a treatment, but how could I know it went horribly wrong and jumpstarted the apocalypse." I said pulling his arm so he looked into my eyes instead of the ground.

"If you let yourself hold on to this guilt. It's going to eat you up inside." I said rubbing his arm.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get Hershel to change his mind." Rick said changing the subject.

"It's no less than I deserve honestly." I stated and Rick was about to argue against it.

"Rick, I've made my peace with it."

"I don't want you to leave." Rick said lowly. Please don't Rick. Don't give me reasons to stay when you know I can't.

"Maybe it's for the best. I know what you said yesterday, after our incident. You shouldn't have done that, and I shouldn't have done it back. When I know you're married, I really care for you Rick. I do." He looked somewhat shocked digesting what I was telling him. I practically admitted that I like him.

"And I love Lori like a sister. Which is why even if I could stay, it just doesn't feel right. It was in the heat of the moment, we were both confused and angry and it was a mistake." I said trying to convince him.

"It wasn't." Rick said after a while.

"It wasn't a mistake. I wasn't confused. My mind was clear, crystal clear." He said clearly.

"Rick, don't." I warned him.

"You have a wife, you love. A son. A baby on the way. Don't." I said more firmly this time.

"I know you felt something." Rick said after a minute holding both my arms.

"It doesn't matter what I felt, it can't ever be anything." I gently took his hands off my arms as they fell to his side. I had tears in my eyes and Rick was mirroring my expression of sadness.

I left him standing by the house as I walked back to the RV where Glenn was keeping watch. I walked inside the RV slowly where Daryl was sitting on the counter holding his rifle with Carol watching out the window in silence.

"They're ready." Lori came inside as we followed her out to where the graves were dug and the bodies were wrapped up by their side. They were lowered into the graves and then covered, with Hershel leading the service we all stood over in silence in respect for the dead. The service was over as soon as it started.

Carol walked off into the field and came across the Cherokee flowers. She was sitting the grass alone in silence, picking off petals. She twirled it in her fingers before throwing it into the river in frustration. She threw all the flowers in sobbing. I decided to leave her to mourn for her daughter.

T-Dog and Andrea picked up a Walker and loaded it in the back of the truck. I wordlessly joined them lifting one end of the Walker as another pair of hands came to lift the other side. I looked up seeing Rick standing opposite me and we threw it in the back of the blue pick up truck.

"Any more trips?" Rick asked Andrea and T-Dog.

"We got lucky." She grunted out heaving the body onto the back.

"You can't tell me this was right." Dale said coming up to us.

"It wasn't and it'll cost us with Hershel." Rick said looking around.

"I'm glad Shane did what he did. Walkers in my backyard? Uh uh." T-Dog said shaking his head.

"I'm not saying we shouldn't have taken care of the problem, but creating a panic?" Dale raised his voice annoyed.

"There's not point arguing about it. It's done." Lori said calmly arms folded across her chest. T-Dog got inside the truck and Andrea sat at the back as they drove off to burn the other Walker bodies elsewhere. I walked back towards the house where Glenn and Maggie were talking to each other.

"Can I talk to you guys?" I said tentatively.

"What do you want?" Maggie said harshly. Before I could speak the cluttering of plates smashing to the floor in the kitchen could be heard and Beth was lying on the floor.

"Beth," Maggie shouted as we ran to the kitchen. I slung one arm over my side and Glenn took the other side as we went up the stairs laying her on the bed.

"What's wrong with her?" Maggie asked me and I went around feeling her head and checking her breathing.

"Uh it's possible that she's in shock." I said leaning back seeing how pale she had gone.

"But we need your dad. Where is he?" I looked at Maggie and Glenn.

"We don't know. He hasn't been here a while." Glenn stated. We went to the next room where Rick, Shane and Lori were checking through his things.

"Seems like he found an old friend." Shane held up a small bottle of liquor and tossed it to Shane.

"That was my grandfather's he gave it to my daddy after he died." Maggie said turning it over in her hands.

"Where's the nearest bar in town?"

"Hattins." Maggie said.

"That's where I'm going to find him." Rick said decisively.

"I've seen where that bar is I'll take you." Glenn said walking after Rick as Maggie started protesting.

"Don't worry. I'll bring him back Maggie." He touched her forearm before walking out of the room.

"Have you even thought about this?" Lori said to Rick stopping him from walking any further.

"You're seriously gonna try and find him man after all that." Shane scoffed.

"Hershel opened his home to us, and then the thing at the barn happened. Don't you think we owe it to him?" I challenged Shane.

"Sure we do. But he's right, this is no time to head off." Lori said frustrated.

"It's the least I could do for Hershel after-" Rick began.

"After what?" Shane asked walking away past them.

"Carl said he would've shot Sophia himself. That's your own son, he's growing cold. He needs a father like you in this world. Alive." She emphasised.

"He will be alive." I said as both of them turned around to face me.

"Because I'm going with him."

Rick stood with the driver's side car door opening reloading and checking the rifles we had. I loaded more rounds into my pistol and holstered it putting my belt around me and making sure my knife was sharpened on the other side of the car. Glenn came out of the house with Maggie following close behind. I glanced at Rick who was looking at them as they kissed each other goodbye. He looked back down then glanced at me. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks again and focused on sharpening my knife glancing up at Rick again when he was turned away. Rick looked up and leaned his arm against the door. I put the knife in my belt and took my hair out retying it higher so it wouldn't get in the way. Rick looked towards Glenn and I followed his gaze as he walked towards us rifle in hand.

"You ready?" Rick said adjusting his belt.

"Yeah." Glenn said looking at us both. I gave him a small smile which he returned. Glenn settled in the front seat next to Rick and I sat in the back behind Rick as the car engine spluttered and we went off. It was silent in the car as no one spoke to each other.

"So, the original gang's back together." Glenn said looking around making me chuckle and Rick scoff.

"I don't hate you Pol." Glenn said turning his head back to me.

"You don't?" I asked leaning forward to see him.

"No, it's been explained." Glenn said glancing at Rick who kept his eyes on the road. I leaned forward putting my chin on Rick's shoulder and nudged it gently smiling my gratitude at him. He smiled back and cleared his throat. I went back down into my seat putting my feet up across the car seats. Glenn sat solemnly looking down at the Rifle as Rick glanced at him every now and then.

"Maggie said she loves me." I sat up glancing at Rick in the mirror who made eye contact with me then back at Glenn.

"Glenn, that's great!" I said.

"She doesn't mean it." He let out a dry chuckle.

"I mean she can't right?" He looked at Rick for confirmation who continued driving.

"She's upset or confused. Or whatever." Glenn trailed off looking out of the window.

"I think she's smart enough to know what she's feeling." Rick stated reassuring Glenn.

"No, no. You know she wants to be in love so she needs something to hold on to." Glenn said as Rick laughed.

"You know it's pretty obvious to everyone she loves you and not because you're the last man standing. So what's the problem?" Rick asked him.

"Can I get a woman's perspective on this?" Glenn asked turning back.

"Well I know next to nothing about love," I said scoffing making Glenn frown.

"But I do know, that us women are actually less complicated than you think. We liked to be listened to and we mean the things we say. Glenn if Maggie said she loves you. Then she loves you." I said smiling at him.

"I didn't say it back." Glenn said.

"Uh huh." Rick said.

"I've never had a woman say that to me before. You know except my mom of course and my sisters. But with Maggie it's different." Glenn said getting flustered.

"Yeah of course, she's definitely not your mom or sister." I said jokingly laughing as Rick joined in making Glenn glare at both of us.

"But seriously this is a good thing. Something we don't get enough of these days. Enjoy it." Rick said half-smiling at him. That damn smile of is. As if I didn't like him enough. He goes ahead and kisses me. And then he smiles like that. I could feel butterflies in my stomach so instead I just focused on looking at the forest areas outside of the window.

"When we get back, return the favour. It's not like she's going anywhere." Rick advised him.

"Don't miss your chance Glenn, if you love her too, say it back." I sighed looking out of the window.

"I don't even know if I do, how would I know?" Glenn asked looking back at me. I turned to face him.

"As I said you're asking the wrong girl here, but I suppose you would find yourself thinking about them all day. You would be constantly looking at them, sneaking glances when you think they're not looking. You can't imagine life without them." I looked at Rick through the mirror covering his eyes from the sun. He glanced at me and I turned away before he could see anything.

"You seem to know a lot about it, for someone who said they'd never been in love." Glenn stated looking back at the front.

"Huh. I do don't I?"

 **A/N: For the most part I enjoyed writing this chapter. What do you guys think?**


	12. Chapter 12 - One Last Time

**A/N: oh boy do I have a long ass chapter for you guys! The pacing in this chapter is a little weird so I apologise in advance but I wanted to fit in all these moments and tensions and issues and drama. it mainly centres around Glenn, Hershel, Rick and Pol in the bar and the stuff that happened. There's action and plenty of dialogue which I'll hope you enjoy. Now please, don't hate me for this chapter, you guys knew it was coming eventually.**

 **Thanks to everyone who supports and reads this story! Particularly my lovely reviewers:**

 **Ryane: Girl Shane needs to go for real, but i need him for the story now. Haha your reaction to when they kissed. I loved it! and honestly felt the same. I know they need to be together, but all good things to those who wait...**

 **JasminJW: Hehe I wonder what you'll think of this chapter.**

 **One more thing, I won't be uploading another chapter until Monday because I need to figure out what I'm going to do with regards to what happens at the end of this chapter. You'll see what I mean.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

It was nearing the end of the day when Rick pulled up the car and parked it in the desolate and isolated town.

"Rick? I know about Lori her being pregnant. I got her those pills." Glenn said as Rick turned to look at him looking slightly ashamed.

"I knew too." I said piping up from the back when Rick glanced back into the mirror.

"I figured." He said opening the car door. We followed him out of the car guns out and trained in front of us.

"Hey," I nudged him arm making him look down at me.

"Sorry we kept it from you," I felt guilty.

"Don't be, you did what you thought was right." He said walking ahead with his gun out.

Me and Glenn looked at each other before following him. We reached the bar, Rick turned and nodded to me. I pushed the door open and he went through first rifle out. I pointed my gun out covering him and Glenn as we entered the dusty shop.

We closed the door seeing Hershel sitting at a table with his back towards us looking down into his glass. Poor guy. Probably wants nothing to do with me. I grimaced. I let Rick and Glenn walk ahead of me as I tried to stay relatively hidden behind them.

"Hershel," Rick called out by the door.

"Who's with ya?" He asked his head slightly turned.

"Glenn." Rick said before turning to me with an unsure look on his face.

"And Pol," He said carefully testing Hershel's reaction.

"Why are you here?" Hershel turned around accusingly at me.

"Beth. She need's you, she's gone into some sort of shock." I said quietly.

"I don't want you here. Nor do I need you here." Hershel stated turning back around. I looked at Rick who was looking at me sympathetically.

"I'll keep watch outside." I said glumly before opening the door and closing it again. I sniffled and wiped my nose. Checking the rifle was loaded I paced back and forth against the door letting keeping an eye on any stray walkers whilst Rick and Glenn tried to talk to Hershel.

They had been talking for a few minutes when a Walker stumbled out of the alleyway opposite the road and noticed me, began snarling and growling my way. I began pulling out my knife before I stopped myself. I should practise with the gun. Making sure the silencer was on I aimed and pulled the trigger hitting it in the chest.

"Damn," I said silently. I reloaded again and pointed it at the head as it got closer. I took a deep breath in and released the trigger exhaling as the bullet hit square in the head, the Walker falling to the floor. I heard the handle squeaking as Glenn opened the door standing in the doorway with Rick still inside.

"What happened?" I asked them.

"He's not coming." Rick said jaw clicking.

"So what do we do, wait for him to pass out?" Glenn asked making me scoff.

"Just go." Hershel called out.

"Just go!" He said more firmly.

"I promised Maggie I'd bring you home safe." Rick said walking back into the bar.

"Like you promised that little girl?" Hershel chuckled. I held Rick's arm rubbing it for support as he looked at where my hand was then silently back to Hershel. Glenn looked at my arm on Rick then looked up at me. I dropped his arm quickly and held my hands behind my back. But Rick wasn't giving up.

"So what's your plan? Finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?" Rick walked back into the bar angry. Hershel stood up and turned around suddenly.

"Stop telling me how to care for my family. My farm. You people are like a plague!" He shouted at Rick.

"The world was already in bad shape when we met." Rick said calmly directly in Hershel's face.

"And you take no responsibility! You're supposed to be their leader!" Hershel shouted with tears in his eyes.

"Well, I'm here now, aren't I?!" Rick finally lost his temper. Hershel walked back to the bar and picked up his glass taking another sip. I felt myself getting angry. Alcohol. People drinking themselves like that was the root of problems.

"Come on. Your girls need you now, more than ever." Rick said to Hershel gently pulling his arm. Hershel pushed him off as Rick walked backwards.

"Rick," I said calling his attention.

"Let me," I pushed him back with my arm gently and handed him the rifle walking up to Hershel.

"I know you don't want to hear this from me. I know you hate me right now but I'm going to tell you something. Drinking yourself to death is not the answer." I said firmly.

"What would a girl like you know about it? You haven't had to face something like this? You're the cause of this? You shot Otis." Hershel said is words slurring slightly. Rick moved forwards slightly but I shook my head at him.

"Yeah what would I know." I scoffed pacing back and forth near the bar.

"I did cause this. You're right. You think I don't punish myself everyday for what I've done? Every single time someone kills a Walker I think to myself: that's another human life I've destroyed. I shot Otis manipulated by Shane that he would expose me and hurt Rick." I said as Hershel turned around in his seat eyes wide with surprise and shock.

"Yeah,"

"When I was younger back in London, I witnessed my father drink himself to passing out every single night without fail. Those were the good days. The bad days were when he used to hit me and my mother. Taking out his frustrations he would call it." I said feeling the old memories springing up.

"My mother, rest her soul took most of the beatings for me. But one day when I was 17, she killed herself." I said the tears falling freely down my face.

"For that entire year I was the subject of my father's abuse. His rage. When finally the police had enough on him to be charged with manslaughter and abuse and he was put in jail. Since that day I vowed that I would never touch a glass of wine or any form of alcohol ever again." I said wiping my eyes. Rick and Glenn were looking at me in a mixture of shock and sadness.

"When I was 18, the first opportunity I had, I applied to university here in America and left England on a scholarship at Stanford. I worked my hardest to get a job in research in Washington. And well, you know the rest." I said shrugging.

"So please don't tell me, that I haven't had hardship or had to face anything in my life." I leaned in close to Hershel putting my hands on his shoulders.

"Your girls need you, please be there for them. Be better than he was." I said walking back to Rick and Glenn. I was clearly shaking because I felt Glenn put his hand into mine squeezing it. I looked at him and he smiled at me. Rick held my gaze and nodded.

"Rick," Hershel said more softly.

"You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick. I chose not to believe that. But when Shane shout Lou in the chest, and she just kept coming? That's when I knew what an ass I'd been. That Annette had been dead long ago and I was feeding her rotten corpse!" Hershel cried now.

"There is no hope. And you know it now, like I do." He spoke to Rick who said nothing.

"That's where you're wrong." I spoke up.

"And this is coming from the person who started the apocalypse." I smirked making Glenn and Rick smile.

"There's always hope when you have people you love. People you need to keep fighting for. Everyone I love are dead. But I found a new family, new friends, new people I love." I looked back at Glenn who chuckled and Rick who had a hint of a smile on his face. I thought my speech might have changed something in Hershel, motivated him a bit. But 10 minutes later he was still staring at the bottom of the glass and Rick was losing his patience.

"Look I'm done, I'm not doing this anymore." Rick was standing by Hershel frustrated now. I bit my lip anxiously, it was getting dark soon and we were going to be in more danger if we didn't leave town.

"This isn't even about what we believe, if we've all lost hope. It's about them, the people at home. They give us a reason to go on." Rick said trying to knock sense into him. The door swung open and we suddenly turned around seeing two men standing there. I put my rifle up and trained it on them.

"Son of a bitch. They're alive." One man chuckled. They put their hands up in surrender, I looked up at Rick waiting for him to give me the word but he gestured to lower my rifle. I reluctantly put it down as the men sat at the table pouring them drinks.

"Feisty one aren't you." The man with the cap said smirking at me, I made a face of disgust at him.

"I'm Dave," The man with the blue t shirt said smiling. He was kinda cute. But not trustworthy at all.

"That scrawny-looking douche bag there is Tony," He pointed to the other man with the cap.

"Eat me Dave." Tony spat jokingly.

"Hey maybe someday I will." Dave said nonchalantly.

"Do you think that's funny?" I narrowed my eyes at Dave hand by knife, moving closer to him. Rick pulled my arm back and I glared at him but he shook his head.

"Lighten up honey honestly. You're not from around here are you?" Dave said smirking. I hated his type. Fairly good-looking think they owned everything they saw. They seemed dangerous. We should leave, before something bad happens.

"England." I said shortly.

"I like foreign girls." Tony licked his lips.

"If your boy keeps looking at me with that predatory smile on his face I'm going to cut his fingers off one by one." I said to Dave who laughed.

"Easy Tony. This little girl thinks she can take you." Dave stated.

"I wouldn't antagonise her." Rick warned as I could see his jaw locking. He was pissed.

"I'm Glenn, it's nice to meet some new people." He smiled to them taking a drink at the bar.

"Rick Grimes," Rick said cautiously.

"Polaris." I said stiffly to them.

"How about you Polaris, not having a drink?" Dave asked as Rick kept refilling his shots.

"I don't drink." I said dismissively.

"Not even one drink?" Tony asked.

"Come on Tony, what did we talk about." I said sarcastically.

"I. Don't. Drink." I spat out for them.

"Fair enough. What about you man?" Dave asked Hershel at the bar.

"I just quit." He said shortly. I made eye contact with Hershel and nodded respectively at him. He wouldn't regret it, he was doing the right thing.

"His name's Hershel. He lost people today, a lot of them." Rick explained.

"I'm truly sorry to hear that. To our dead, may they be in a better place." Dave said sincerely. Maybe not a complete asshole. Dave leaned over and a gun sticking out of his trousers caught my eye.

"Not bad huh," He said watching our gazes.

"I got it off a cop."

"I'm a cop." Rick said not missing a beat. He sat up next to Hershel by the hair as I took the seat next to him, going into his side slightly not feeling safe around these people.

"So what drove you south?" Rick asked drinking his shot.

"We heard of a refugee camp in DC, but all the roads were jammed. Every group we came across had a new rumour about this thing." Dave said.

"You guys ever been to Nebraska?" He asked looking at us.

"There's a reason they call them flyover states." I felt Rick shake next to me in quiet laughter.

"How bout you guys?" He asked turning the attention to us. See. Can't trust these guys.

"Fort Benning eventually." Rick stated making Dave look down and chuckle.

"I hate to piss in your cornflakes officer, we came across someone who said the fort was overrun by Walkers." Dave said. Rick looked shocked then disappointed. Oh no. There is literally nowhere else for us to go.

"Wait, Fort Benning is gone? Are you for real?" Glenn asked incredulously.

"Sadly I am. Ugly truth is there is no way out of this mess." Dave stated.

"But it doesn't look like you guys are hanging your hats here. You holed up someplace else?" Dave asked a seemingly innocent question. I lightly nudged Rick warning him not to trust him. He seemed suspicious from the start.

"Not really," Rick said turning to look at me then back at Dave.

"Those your cars out front?"

"Yeah. Why?" Glenn said innocently. Shit. No Glenn I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Those look empty, clean, we're living out of ours. Where's your gear?" He asked.

"We're living with a larger group. Out scouting, thought we could use a drink." Yes Hershel! Quick thinking. Hopefully they leave, and we won't have to make them.

"A drink? Hershel I thought you quit." Dave said looking between us.

"He quit just now." I said narrowing my eyes at him.

"We're thinking of settling up out here. Is it safe?" Dave continued with the questions.

"It can be. Although I have killed a couple of walkers around here." Glenn said as Rick turned to look at him slightly. I squeezed Glenn's hand with my fingers behind me trying to get him to stop talking.

"You guys set up in a trailer somewhere, you on a farm?" Dave asked. I was desperately trying to get Rick's attention to get up and leave this place before something bad happened. Tony got up and walked past me looking me up and down. I went further into Rick's side trying to avoid his gaze.

"Old McDonald had a farm." Dave sang.

"E-I-E-I-Oh." Tony sang holding onto the beer tap and taking a piss against it. I scrunched up my nose and Rick glanced sideways frowning.

"You got food? Water?" No one answered. We were kind of trapped, but all we had to do was get up and leave this place. I had a bad feeling.

"We've said enough." Rick said firmly leaving no room for conversation.

"Well, hang on a second. This farm, it sounds pretty sweet." Dave said.

"Yeah real sweet." Tony said still urinating against the wall.

"How about a little southern hospitality? We got some guys back at camp having a hard time. We could pool our resources, manpower." Dave suggested getting too comfortable.

"Look, I'm sorry. That's not an option." Rick said putting his foot down. Tony looked at Dave who appeared to be disappointed.

"I'm sorry we can't. We can't take in any more." Hershel said with an air of finality making Dave chuckle in his seat.

"You guys are something else. I thought we were friends." Dave said looking down at his lip.

"Are you shitting me? We've been talking for 5 minutes and you think that's it we can trust you and take in your group and all be a big family." I scoffed looking at Dave.

"What world are you living in?" I challenged him.

"She's right. We don't know anything about you." Rick said calmly. I could see he was getting tense the way his shoulders were hunched up.

"That's right. You don't know anything about us. You don't know what we've had to go through out here." Dave said seriously.

"We've all had to deal with shit. We all have baggage." I said leaning forward in the stool.

"That's this life now."

"Come on all the things that we've all had to do. We're all the same. So let's take a nice friendly hayride to this farm and we'll get to know each other." Dave said trying to worm his way in again.

"That's not gonna happen," Rick stayed calm.

"Rick-" Dave started.

"This is bullshit!" Tony said angrily.

"Calm down." Rick said.

"Don't tell me to calm down, don't ever tell me to calm down." Tony said advancing on Rick. I put my finger on the holster of my gun and flashed it up to Tony.

"You wanna back off Tony?" I asked warning him.

"Woah," Dave said.

"I'll shoot you 4 assholes in the head and take your damn farm." I got up off the bar stool and stood up walking towards Tony with Rick standing right by my side.

"Woah, woah relax. Take it easy. Nobody's killing anybody. Nobody's shooting anybody. Right Rick?" Dave asked jumping over the bar and putting his gun on the table. Glenn was looking worried standing behind the other side of the bar and Hershel was remaining cautious. Rick moved a hand to his gun but I gently took his fingers off his holster.

Be careful. I shot him a warning look.

"The farm is crowded enough as it is. I'm sorry you're gonna have to keep looking. I hear Nebraska's nice." Rick quipped making Dave laugh.

He nodded to me and I took the gun out of my holster. Rick's gun whipped out so fast as he shot Dave in the head. I turned around and shot Tony in the chest then in the head, both bodies fell to the floor in a thump.

Hershel looked at me the same way he did when I told him I had shot Otis. Both him and Glenn were worriedly looking at Rick who remained silent looking at the bodies on the floor, holstering his gun.

"Holy shit." Glenn said coming to look at the bodies on the floor.

"You alright?" Rick turned to Glenn who nodded.

"Hershel?" He asked on the other side who said nothing at first but slowly nodded his head.

"Pol?" He asked turning around to look at me. My hand with the gun was shaking uncontrollably. Even though I hadn't hesitated to kill Amy, I shot Otis, yet it was these men who had posed a threat to us that unnerved me. I didn't answer him but continued looking at my hands which were shaking. Rick walked slowly forwards until he was right in front of me and took the gun from my hand holstering it on my belt.

"Y-yeah." I stammered.

"Look at me." I looked up at Rick who bent down to my level and studied my face.

"You're a little pale and your pupils are dilated. I need you to breathe." He said putting his hands on my shoulders. His face was so close to mine I could feel him breathing so I mimicked his actions until my hands weren't shaking anymore. He looked into my eyes for confirmation and I nodded. He took his hands of my shoulders and rubbed my arm.

"Lets head back." Hershel said after a minute, causing me to break eye contact with Rick. Rick bent down and picked up the rifle Tony had along with some of the rounds. We slowly walked around the bodies to the front of the bar, Glenn still looking down at the ground.

"Car, car! Get down." Rick said quietly. Glenn ducked beneath one side of the door. Rick and me bent down on the other side of the door with Hershel sitting in between a window. We heard the car approach and park right in front of the bar. I was still shaking beside Rick and he turned to look at me.

"I need you to be calm for this Pol. I need you. Can you do this?" He asked his piercing blue eyes focused on me.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry." I said snapping out of it. What was wrong with me? I had survived on my own for 6 months and have had to do horrendous acts to survive but this was bothering me. I had to stay focused for us. The car door opened and we could hear footsteps coming closer to the door. I took quiet deep breaths in and out as outside it was now completely dark outside.

"Dave? Tony?" A man called from outside the bar. Oh shit. This was just supposed to be about getting Hershel back. How did it turn into such a shit storm? I whined to myself.

"I'm telling you man I heard shots." A second man said.

"I saw roamers two streets over." A new voice piped in.

"Three." Rick mouthed to me and I nodded. One of the shadows of a man came up to the door window and the barrel of a gun could also be seen. Rick had his gun unholstered and put the safety off which made a small click noise. I pulled out my colt knowing it had more bullets than the rifle I loaded. Rick stood up quickly the creaking sounds being made against the wood and peeked out of the window to see where they had gone. He leaned back down and gestured me to follow him as we creeped over to Hershel and Glenn's side.

"Why won't they leave?" I said frustrated.

"Would you?" Hershel asked.

"We can't sit here any longer. Let's head out the back and make a run to the car." Rick interjected.

"I second that." I whispered agreeing with him as the rest agreed. We had just began standing up when gunshots could be heard from outside.

"What happened?" One of the men asked.

"Roamers. I nailed 'em." The other one said proudly.

"They disappeared but their car's still there. Let's clear the building." One of the men said as they stood in a group discussing it.

"We're looking for Dave and Tony and no one checks the damn bar?!" Rick and I snapped our guns out quickly aiming it towards the door. It was about to open when Glenn jumped in front pushing it close. I glared at him and Rick threw his head back frustrated.

"Someone's in there." the man muttered.

"Yo, if someone's in there, we don't want no trouble. We're just looking for our friends." the man called out. We didn't respond so they started talking amongst themselves deciding what to do.

"Now what?" I mouthed to Rick.

"We don't want any trouble. We're just looking for our friends." The man emphasised. I looked over at Tony's body lying on the floor with his eyes rolled back and a pool of blood next to him and winced. That's on me. Rick pressed his hand against his temple trying to think of what to do. He thought for a moment then opened his mouth.

"They drew on us." Rick shouted back and I closed my eyes for a brief moment. Now we're screwed. Hershel put his hand over his mouth looking at Rick with wide eyes. Glenn was sweating along with the rest of us as I wiped my hand over my brow trying to get rid of it.

"Dave and Tony in there? They alive?" The man asked coming closer to the door.

"No!" Rick said as they started muttering amongst themselves again.

"No man I'm not going back that Dave and Tony got shot by some assholes in a bar." The man outside said annoyed.

"Your friends drew on us! They gave us no choice!" Rick shouted more aggressively this time.

"I'm sure we've lost enough people, so let's chalk this up to what it was. Wrong place, wrong-" But before Rick could finish gunshots came straight throw the window shattering glass on top of us. I shielded my head and face as Glenn crawled away out of the firing line. Rick got up and started shooting back through the broken glass on the door.

"Get out of here! Go!" He shouted to the three of us. Glenn and Hershel headed towards the back exit keeping low.

"I'm not leaving you! I promised Lori I'd bring you back!" I shouted shooting through the glass with him. He looked at me firmly but I wasn't leaving him.

Hershel and Glenn ducked under tables near the bar as I bent down to the other side of the door from Rick. They had bigger guns, more ammunition. Bottles were being smashed everywhere with bullets flying into the bar. Suddenly the firing stopped and we were all breathing heavily. Rick handed me some bullets as we both loaded our weapons some more. All this sound was going to draw Walkers and we were going to have bigger problems on our hands.

"Hey, we all know this is not gonna end well! There's nothin' in it for any of us!" Rick shouted ferociously back to them.

"You guys just back off, no one else get's hurt!" He said with slight pleading in his voice. We should've left when we had the chance. The garbage cans at the back of the bar building were being rattled. Rick gestured to Glenn who mustered up whatever courage he had and ran off over the backdoor silently.

Slowly, he creaked it open keeping his gun pointed down into where the basement was and walked inside until we couldn't see him.

"I'm alright." Glenn called out and I breathed out a sigh of relief. Rick and me walked over to Hershel who was standing behind a pillar in the bar.

"I'll hold it here. You cover Glenn, see if you can make it to his car." Rick looked at me and Hershel. I raised an eyebrow at Rick.

"Okay, we'll hold him here." He said and I smiled satisfied he was letting me help him.

"We'll run for it, get the hell out of here." Rick said sweating.

"Yes please." I groaned missing the farm despite the fact half of the people hated me there. Hershel walked off into the other room where Glenn was.

Rick and me stood silently against the pillar with our guns out ready to shoot.

"How you doing?" He asked looking down at me.

"Been better." I chuckled feeling tired.

"Bet you wish you left today." Rick said smirking.

"Yeah for the record I'm blaming you for this." I nodded closing my eyes hearing Rick laugh.

"We'll make it out." He said reassuring me.

"Promise?" I asked although it was a stupid thing to say.

"Promise." He said nodding. It was quiet for a few minutes before he heard gunshots outside. I looked at Rick worriedly. I hope Glenn and Hershel were okay. We rushed down the stairs to the basement and by the open door where Hershel was standing in the doorway with his gun.

"What happened?" Rick asked. About 10ft away was a man groaning on the floor holding his stomach.

"He fired his gun. Glenn must've been hit, he's behind the dumpster. Doesn't look like he's moving." Hershel said to Rick. I stood by Hershel with my gun out to help him cover Rick as he walked out towards the dumpster, pointing guns in both directions.

"You hit?" Rick whispered over to Glenn. But no answer. Glenn couldn't be dead. He couldn't. I held my breath as Rick walked out into the open to get behind the dumpster.

"No." Glenn's voice was discernible as I breathed out a sigh of relief. Glenn and Rick were hiding behind the dumpster with me and Hershel keeping a vigilant eye out for our attackers. Rick and Glenn began coming out from behind the dumpster before gunshots came from above. I looked up to the top of a pharmacy where a man was standing there with a sniper gun. Car tyres were squealing and pulled up in front of the pharmacy.

"We gotta get out of here!" The man in the car shouted to the sniper.

"We're leaving?" He asked. He looked young. Younger than me.

"Jump!" The other man said. The sniper began walking along the roof of the pharmacy and stood along the ledge. Don't do it you idiot. Please. He jumped onto the next building with a corrugated roof and slid off it behind the car where we couldn't see him but I heard his screams and winced.

"Help me!" He was screaming but the man in the car drove off.

"Hershel!" I called his attention to the side where the man was groaning on the floor. Five walkers came out of nowhere and we started shooting at them but it was too late. They were already feasting into him.

"Hershel! Pol!" I turned around seeing Glenn calling us as we snuck over to where the dumpster was.

"The gunfire must've attracted the walkers." He said as we joined Glenn.

"Where's Rick?" I asked Glenn my eyes not being able to make out anything in the dark.

"He ran across." Glenn said.

"He did what?" I asked incredulously. I looked across the road and ran across where the others followed me.

"Rick!" I called out. He was trying to help the sniper that fell and had impaled his leg on the gate and was bleeding out onto the ground. Walkers were going to be here soon, there was no way we could make it with this kid.

"We have to go now. I'm sorry son we have to go." Hershel said putting his hand on the boy's knee.

"Nooo," He was crying out in pain.

"Don't leave me please." He said.

"He was just shooting at us!" Glenn said anxiously.

"He's just a kid!" Rick shouted.

"This place is crawling with Walkers." Glenn said frustrated.

"We can't leave him." I said firmly.

"The fence went clean through, there's no way we can get the leg off in one piece." Hershel said inspecting his leg. The kid kept groaning and crying loudly which was going to attract the Walkers.

"Shut up! Shut up or I will shoot you!" Rick said shaking the fence.

"That may be the answer. Maybe we should put him down, I can't see a why to get his leg out." Hershel said pulling Rick back. Rick furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head at Hershel.

"I don't wanna see any more killing, but this is cruel." Hershel said gesturing to the kid.

"We should do what we can to save him. Walkers or not. The day we decide human life isn't worth saving is the day we lose our humanity." I said making Rick and Hershel look at me.

"Can't we just take the leg off?" Glenn asked.

"That hatchet still in the car?" Rick asked Glenn who shook his head. I pulled out my knife and handed it to Hershel.

"Will this cut through bone?" Hershel began taking off his shirt leaving him in his undershirt.

"I'd have to sever the ligament below the kneecap. He's gonna lose his lower leg and when we get clear of here, need to find some tinder and cauterise the wound." Hershel stated coming towards the kid.

"Alright no choice let's go." Rick said decisively. Rick held him down against the fence as Hershel tied a tourniquet above his knee cap. I was standing by his head when Glenn went forward shooting the Walkers that were coming towards us. Walkers started appearing on the other side of the alleyway.

"Oh God. They're everywhere." I said and started shooting at them. The Walkers began to surround us and seemed to come from everywhere snarling and snapping their teeth.

"We don't have much time! We've gotta go!" Glenn shouted using the rifle to kill them.

"I'm almost out of ammo!" Rick came beside me and started shooting the Walkers as I went back to help Hershel. He had the knife pressed into the kneecap.

"I can't hold 'em off! Hershel, do it now!" Rick shouted walking back towards us. I turned around and used the remaining ammo I had to shoot with him.

"Hershel come on!" I shouted feeling panicked. It was getting desperate as more and more were gaining on us. We were out of time.

"Please, don't leave me!" the kid was screaming on the fence. Hershel got away from the kid still on the fence, getting ready to leave. Rick took one look at him and ripped his leg up off the fence it was impaled on leaving him to let out a bloodcurdling scream. I swung one of his arms over me and he leaned against me heavily as I tried to drag him over to the car. Rick continuing to shoot the Walkers around us. We made it to the red truck and Rick shifted the car into drive speeding off.

A while later after we had got the wound cauterised we made it back to the farm where it was day light. We pulled up the red truck in front of the us where Rick got out of the car and Carl ran towards him to hug him.

"Dad!" He screamed happily throwing his arms around his waist. Lori pulled Rick into her as he wrapped his arms around her upper back. I got out of the car slowly, covered in dirt, blood and sweat with my legs aching. I smiled at Lori as she came up towards me and engulfed me in a tight hug.

"Thank you," She whispered.

"I couldn't have done it without her." Rick said looking back at me with admiration. Hershel came out of the truck as Maggie looked as she was running towards him but ran passed him and tackled Glenn who was holding the rifle instead.

"Patricia, prepare the shed for surgery." Hershel said walking straight back into the house.

Lori let go of me as I looked up at her face which was bruised.

"What happened to you?" I asked pointing to her face. Rick came up to her and put his hand on her cheek.

"I was in a car accident." She said glancing down.

"How?" I asked shocked.

"I went looking for you." She said.

"Not that I didn't have faith in you." She defended to me but I waved her off.

"It's alright, he's a handful." I joked as she smiled.

"Snuck out on her own. I brought her back." Shane said admittedly arrogantly.

"Are you crazy? That-" Rick started but was interrupted by T-Dog.

"Who the hell is that?" T-Dog asked pointing to the car.

"That's Randall." Glenn said. He was blindfolded in the car and we took him inside letting Hershel perform surgery on him.

Rick and Lori went inside their tent with Carl to spend some time together. T-Dog and Andrea were sitting by the fire eating and Dale was keeping watch. Glenn was inside with Maggie and Hershel and Shane was god knows where.

"Why are you always covered in blood?" Daryl asked seeing my white T-shirt stained.

"I ask myself the same question."

A while later they decided to keep Randall on the farm until he was well enough to walk. Hershel kindly let me use his showers and I changed and packed my bag properly this time getting ready to leave. Dale handed me a rifle with rounds and extra bullets for my colt. I was standing at the exit to the farm with the whole group.

"Do you have to go?" Carl asked looking sad. I kneeled down on the floor in front of him and put my hand under his chin. I looked up at Hershel who didn't look like he was changing his mind anytime soon.

"Yeah kid, I do." I said. I took off the silver chain necklace I had around my neck which had the constellation of Ursa Minor.

"But take this." I said dropping it into his palm.

"What is it?" He asked playing with it.

"It's the constellation, a collection of stars in the sky called Ursa Minor. Or the little dipper. That star there, is called Polaris. Keep it safe for me, I'll find you again." I smiled at him and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt tears springing in my eyes but wiped it away quickly.

"Thank you, for everything." Lori said as I looked to her and gave her a tight hug.

"Look after yourself, and the baby." I said nodding to her.

"Be wary of Shane." I whispered into her hair and she nodded slowly.

"T-Dog, Andrea. I'm gonna miss talking to you guys." They gave me stiff nods not fully forgiving me for what I had done.

"Dale." I smiled at the older man who gave me a warm look and patted me on the shoulder.

"Pol." Glenn had come out of the house and I hugged him tightly.

"Be good to yourself. And to Maggie." I gestured to the woman standing near him. I waved to her and she waved back. I don't know where I stood with her but it was a little better than before.

"Hershel, Patricia. I'm truly sorry for what happened that day. I hope me leaving eases your pain more, and maybe one day you can find it in your heart to forgive." I said gently to the two standing there. Patricia was looking down at the ground whilst Hershel gave me a nod of respect. I think we had an understanding with each other.

"Daryl Dixon." I stood in front of him as he looked down at me with a serious look on his face.

"I can still come with you, it's not like I fit in here anyways." Daryl argued but I shook my head.

"Yes you do Daryl. You have people that care about you here." I looked over at Carol who smiled at me.

"No matter how stubborn you are to see it." I smiled at him making him scoff.

"Take care yeah," He reached out his hand and touched my forearm.

"One day Daryl, you'll hug me first." I eyed him with a smile walking towards Carol.

"Carol. You're such a strong, independent woman and you don't even know it yet." I said as she didn't look at me in the eyes.

"I know we had our differences, but I will miss your company." Carol said.

"I'm sorry about Sophia." She shook her head. I hugged Carol then walked back to the front of the gate to the farm picking up my pack.

"I'll walk you down to the highway." Rick said as we left the farm walking side by side. It was still early morning, not midday yet and the sun was already beginning to burn my neck. We got down to the highway which I was gonna try and follow up to DC since Atlanta was a lost cause. We stood standing opposite each other.

"I think this is where we part ways." I said sniffling slightly.

"I don't want to." Rick said wiping the tears falling on my cheek.

"I know, me neither."

"Pol." Rick said taking another step closer to me. I moved closer to him until we were face to face.

"Take care of yourself."

"You too Grimes." He began leaning in slightly then placed a gentle fluttery kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes taking it in before wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my head into his chest. I felt his arms enclose around my shoulders and we were standing there hugging. There was a gentle breeze and the birds were chirping up in the trees.

"I'll miss you." I said my voice muffled with tears.

"I'll miss you too." He said smoothing down my hair.

"You know you have to let me go at some point." I said. I unwrapped my arms from his waist and took a step back from him as he dropped his arms. I saw a single tear running down his cheek and went onto my tiptoes to wipe it away. We stood in front of each other not wanting to leave. I reached my hands out and pulled his head down to my level going on my tiptoes. I leaned in until our noses were almost touching and gave him a brief kiss on the lips before he had the chance to respond.

"I had to do that. One last time." I whispered as I rested my forehead against his. Finally releasing him I turned around and walked off to the other side. I turned around seeing Rick watching me from the highway and then walked off into the forest.

Alone again.

 **A/N: So that chapter had a lot of stuff. Action, Pol's backstory, heartbreak and romance. Until Monday! Let me know what you think.**


	13. Chapter 13 - A New Start

**A/N: no responses on that last chapter? At all? I think I may have shocked you all too much, or driven you guys away. Anyways it's sunday not Monday but I thought I'd upload this little subplot of an idea I had. It gets a bit AU here for a couple of chapters but paths will collide don't worry.**

 **Thanks to everyone who supports and reads my story!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters and storyline only OCs and plotlines.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

It had not been more than 5 minutes of me trekking through the woods when I was already missing the camp. And already missing a certain Rick Grimes. It was definitely a hot Georgia day and I took my jacket off swinging it around my waist covered in sheen of sweat.

I pulled out the map where I marked the road to DC. There was allegedly a survivor's colony but I had to survive through 3 states to get there.

I was in a swampy forest area now walking along the side of the highway. I just hope they listen to me. And do something about Shane. I wonder if that kid Randall's okay. What are they going to do about him?

I came out of my thoughts shaking my head. It's time to put my thoughts of the camp behind me. It's unlikely I would ever see them again, I had to look forward now. I need to find a car. It was getting midday and the sun was sweltering down on me. I came across to an open field with a seemingly empty barn. I pulled out the rifle and stayed low going across the field.

There were growling sounds coming from one end of the field as I hid down in the tall grass. I looked up seeing two Walkers stumbling in my direction.

"Shit," I muttered. I laid down on my stomach with the rifle pointed up aimed at the Walker. I aimed for the head and pulled the trigger as one Walker hit the floor. I pointed the gun at the next Walker and loaded the rifle pulling the trigger, it hit the Walker in the cheek as it stopped snarling and fell to the floor. I got up from my lying down position and stood up brushing off the dirt.

I walked forward stepping over the bodies and towards the barn. Putting the rifle across my back, I pulled out my gun and pushed one of the wooden barn doors open walking in aiming the gun into the dark building.

There were a few hay bales in one corner but no Walkers. I walked up the stairs which was littered with straw and checked around pointing my gun towards the corners of the room.

"Clear," I sighed holstering the gun. I pulled out the fruit I had packed and ate an apple for lunch. Its not much I know, but I needed to make the food last as long as possible. Staying in the barn for a while might be a possibility until I found good food sources and a car that can take me across a state or two.

I eat and drank sitting by myself and pulled out my leather bound journal. Inside it fell out a folded up piece of paper. I opened it, read the contents and smiled. It was such a childish thing to keep but I couldn't help it. It was from the CDC where I was passing notes under the door to Rick when they were trapped. I smoothed it out and put it in a double page of the journal.

Turning it over I began to write an entire account of what I had encountered with the group so far. Meeting Rick, going to camp, killing Amy, CDC, Carl getting shot, the Greene farm, leaving the group. Shane. Just in case I died I also added what happened when I was working in research. How this whole thing started.

I closed the journal and pressed it to my chest. Maybe I shouldn't have left them so soon. I miss them already and it's only been half a day. Maybe I should've convinced Hershel that I could make it up to him and to convince him into letting me stay. No. My feelings for Rick were getting too strong. I was starting to fall for a man I had only known for a few weeks. Except this man was married and expecting another child. Nothing could come out of it.

I have to forget Rick Grimes now, I've got to move on.

It was getting dark so I decided to go to the woods to collect some firewood otherwise I'd probably freeze out here in the cold and then I'd never make it to DC. I hid my pack well behind some of the hay bales and took only the essentials I needed: my colt, the rifle and my knife.

I slipped out of the barn eyeing the empty field which was silent. I walked across the field into the forest area I had come out of. Finding some branches I picked them up except I had no idea if they would even work as firewood.

I began walking back to the barn before I heard twigs snapping behind me. I shoved the wood into one arm and pulled my colt with the other, aiming it into the darkness. I walked slightly further and looked behind the tree it had come from.

Nothing. I sighed. I kept the gun out by my side and walked out of the forest back across the field to the barn. Arranging the branches on the floor I checked in my pack and found a bottle of vodka. Daryl. I shook my head. I poured some of the alcohol on the branches and with the lighter after a few times I managed to successfully start the fire.

I kept it low in case any of the Walkers got the wrong idea and heated a can of tomato soup over it. Once it was ready I ate dinner by myself. I didn't feel safe sleeping in a place when there was no one around to keep watch.

I had gotten used to sleeping safely in a group but now I had to be alert 24 hours a day, but I was feeling so tired after going into town the night before. The next day I was going to look for a car and start heading down next to the highway.

I could hear footsteps coming from outside the barn door. I took the gun out of my holster instinctively and held it up towards the barn door standing in front of the fire. It began creaking open as I took the safety off and kept a finger hovering over the trigger.

"Hey!" A guy called out entering the barn with his hands up. He was limping in and closed the door behind him. His clothes were torn and dirty. He had dried blood on his face but the most striking thing about him were his sea green eyes and shoulder length black hair.

"Don't move." I warned keeping the gun trained on him. He was tall, at least 6 ft tall and definitely stronger than me. I looked at his belt seeing a knife there.

"Hand the knife over." I said pointing to his belt.

"Okay, okay." He said calmly before taking the knife out and bending down on the floor slowly kicking it may way.

"You got any guns on you?" I asked and he shook his head. I walked up to him keep the gun trained on his head with one hand and patted him down. I patted his lower back and felt something sticking out.

I narrowed my eyes at him and yanked it out.

"I didn't know it was illegal to carry liquor." He chuckled as I took the bottle from him and kicked it away.

"What do you want?" I asked backing up slightly.

"I saw your fire and I just wanted to be somewhere warm for the night, away from the Walkers." He said looking at me.

"You got a group?" I asked my eyes darting behind him and up on the second floor of the barn in case I had been ambushed.

"No. I've been alone for a while now." He stated.

"Seems like you have too." He said walking forwards slowly.

"Stop." I said pointing the gun at him with his arms raised in the air.

"Hey, I'm stopping." He said softly. He walked forwards a little more.

"I said stop!" I shouted almost pulling the trigger. He sat down on the floor by the fire and stretched out his leg in front of him groaning slightly.

"What's wrong with your leg?" I asked eyeing it.

"Lift the trouser leg." I ordered.

"Listen it's not a bite mark'"

"Lift. It." I said. He sighed and lifted it up, his leg was bruised in some places but his foot appeared to be dislocated.

"I tripped over some tree roots in the forest. Stupid I know." He said seeing the look on my face.

"I don't believe you." I said sitting down opposite him by the fire with the gun still pointed out to him.

"You don't trust easy do you?" He asked pushing his hair back. Now that I had a good look at his face, underneath all the dirt and grime he was handsome. Its those ones you have to watch out for.

"You don't believe there are some good people left out in this shitty world?" He asked.

"I don't trust you." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Look I just want to stay the night. You can keep that gun on me for the whole night if you want to. I won't try anything." He said seemingly genuine. I still don't trust him.

"Are you gonna finish that?" He asked pointing to my half eaten can of tomato soup. I looked at the can and moved it further away from him making him laugh.

"Do you mind helping?" He asked pointing to his foot which was twisted at a strange ankle.

"Why should I?"

"Please?" He asked. I got out the rope from my bag and came over to him tying his hands behind his back and taking his backpack onto my side.

"Come on is this necessary?" He asked and I nodded.

"This is going to hurt." I held his foot with my hands and he nodded closing his eyes. I pushed it back in it's socket making him groan in pain.

"Ahh," He shouted before wincing. I rolled over his bottle of liquor as he drank it putting it back down.

"I'll make you a trade," He said looking across the fire to me.

"In my backpack there's some bread, I'll trade it for the other half of your soup." He said. I opened his backpack seeing a bunch of clothes, a book, water and some food. Finding the bread I put the can in front of him and ate it relishing in it's taste.

"It's good right?" He asked, a smirk gracing his handsome features as I nodded.

"How am I supposed to eat?" He asked his hands still tied behind his back.

"Not my problem." I shrugged mouth full of food.

"You got a name?" He asked.

".."

"Okay I get it." He chuckled. It was then I noticed he had a slight accent.

"What?" I asked glaring at him.

"You don't know me, I don't know you. You've been by yourself for so long you've forgotten what it's like to have actual people for company. And not those flesh eating monsters." He said.

"I'm Alejandro." He said.

"Good to know." I said drinking the water.

"Please girl who's name I don't know." He said with a twinkle in his eye.

"I am hungry." Okay maybe being with Rick and the group made me soft. I huffed and went behind him undoing the rope around his hands. I moved his arms around him until his hands were in his lip. I walked around and bent down in front of him until we were face to face. He stared at me as I tied the rope around his hands tightly but so he could still hold the can and drink the soup.

"Thanks. See that wasn't so bad." He said smiling. Before the apocalypse, I would fall in love with a smile like that. But you couldn't trust anyone out here. Not even charming, Spanish guys with dislocated ankles. And besides the fact, I had another guy on my mind.

"Polaris." I said after a while.

"My name."

"Ahh la estrella de norte. The north star." He said in realisation.

"You're a long way from home Polaris." He said curiously.

"You're not from here are you?"

"England." I replied still remaining wary.

"Ah Britannia, what are you doing here then?" He asked and I said nothing. I put the colt back in my holster but left it open just in case.

"I'm from Madrid, Spain originally, but I came here for college and then for work. I was actually going to become a teacher of medieval history but-" He started talking.

"What makes you think I care?" I turned around to him suddenly.

"I was just making conversation." Alejandro chuckled dryly.

"That's the only thing you can do nowadays with people." He said looking around the barn as I stayed silent.

"You're a boxer." He stated.

"Your knuckles, they're bruised and sticking out." He said pointing to my hands. I retracted my hands by my side so he couldn't see.

"Okay, I can see you're not willing to talk to me tonight. Maybe you'll think about it in the morning." He said lying down on the ground.

"What are you doing?" I asked getting ready to get my gun out.

"What does it look like? I'm going to sleep." He curled up on the ground and closed his eyes. The fire kept burning keeping us warm as I kept watch.

I can't fall asleep. I can't fall asleep. But I was so tired, I had been up for more than 24 hours and I needed rest desperately. At some point in the night I gave up trying to watch him. He wasn't going anywhere and I passed out on the ground.

My eyes opened to the sound of birds chirping the next day and I shot up from the ground realising I had fallen asleep trying to keep watch.

"You snore in your sleep." I turned around seeing Alejandro sitting there with his arms and legs still bound and the fire was no longer burning. I looked outside the barn and the sun was high in the sky indicating it was midday.

"Shit." I muttered. I needed to get on the highway now. I got my pack together and my weapons and took my gun out onto Alejandro. I cut the ropes on his arms and legs as he stood up and handed his pack back to him.

"You're going to go now." He stood up as I passed him his pack and kept the gun on him nudging him forward. We walked across the field with my colt training on him in one hand and the knife out in the other in case any Walkers decided to come out.

"Are you really gonna send me away?" He asked as we reached the edge of the forest. I bent down from my boot where his knife was and pulled it out placing it in his pack so he couldn't access it easily enough.

"We could work together. Where are you going?" He asked as I cut through the forest with my gun on his back.

"I can be useful. I can hunt, I can build fires, another set of eyes could be useful?" He glanced behind him looking at me.

"Keep moving." I said nudging him forward until we reached the edge of the road.

"This is where you go." I said pushing him forward. As he turned around to face me.

"Highway will take you to a bunch of towns, you can stay safe there and do whatever. I don't really care." I said shrugging.

"Start walking. And if you follow me. I'll shoot you." I said pointing the rifle to him.

"You don't need to do this alone." He said walking closer.

"Yes I do." I said putting the safety off.

"Move Princess." I narrowed my eyes at him as he walked off in the other direction. I kept my rifle trained on him until I couldn't see him anymore. I waited for a good 10 minutes before deeming it was safe enough and walked along the side of the road with my fingers looping in my belt.

I attached the CD player to my belt and put one earphone in, Led Zeppelin blaring through the speakers. I had walked for an hour before I came to a pair of train tracks. Looking around I went into the forest on my side hidden so I could eat. I took some of the bread we had exchanged and the book I stole from his bag.

"The Art of Peace." I muttered stuffing the bread in my mouth. Interesting. Why would you carry a book like this around with you? I started reading it getting lost in the book.

Suddenly I heard groaning coming behind me and before I had a chance to pull my gun out a Walker fell on top of me it's teeth snapping and snarling trying to bite into my neck. I struggled with it for a minute trying to push it off but it was too strong. This is it. I was going to die right here. I'm sorry Rick.

The Walker stopped moving above me and blood poured out onto my neck. I pushed the Walker off me and sat up seeing Alejandro standing there with the knife. I was breathing deeply and looked at him standing there with blood dripping from his knife.

"Are you alright?" He asked coming towards me to help me get up. I stopped him and got up my breath shakily. I had let myself get too comfortable reading that book. I had to stay wary.

"Thanks." I said. He saved my life. One more minute and I would've been a Walker.

"You followed me. Why did you follow me?" I glared at him pulling my gun out and pointing it at him.

"Most people would be grateful that someone saved their life." He shook his head sheathing his knife at his belt. I holstered the gun but kept some distance between us.

"Fine, I saw a few Walkers heading the way you were walking and decided I would track them to make sure they didn't get you. It's lucky I got here in time." He sighed running a hand through his hair.

"Luck has nothing to do with it." I stated firmly.

"Look I don't have anywhere else to go. Let me prove myself to you, that I can be helpful. Then you can get rid of me if you want. I'm just asking for a chance." He said pleading. If I was in need and I was in trouble I would also want someone to help me and trust. I hated being alone, maybe another person would make it easier.

"I also came to get my book." He pointed to the floor where it was open on the page I left it.

I walked up to him until we were almost touching trying to be intimidating. But being as short as I was he probably just found it amusing.

"You walk on the other side of the road. You so much as slow me down even by a bit. I shoot you. You come over to my side of the road, I shoot you. You take any of my food or any of my stuff-"

"Let me guess, you shoot me?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Glad you understand." I smirked and bent down to pick up the book.

"This book is mine." I said brushing past him back onto the road. He walked over to the other side of the road so we were walking parallel to each other.

"Where are we heading?" He asked.

"North." I said shortly.

"What's your story Polaris?" He asked kicking twigs as he walked along.

"No." I shook my head.

"No?" he asked.

"This is not story time, we are not friends. I'm tolerating you. For now." I said putting one earphone in trying to block out his talking. I changed the CD to Bon Jovi as Wanted dead or alive started playing.

"Rock music fan huh," Alejandro was looking at me from the other side of the road.

"Respect. I'm more of a Metallica man myself." He said.

"I like Metallica too." I stated not looking at him.

"Maybe we have more in common than I thought." He said smiling.

"How old are you?" He asked.

"Don't you know it's rude to ask a lady her age?" I turned to him eyebrows raised.

"Okay I'm going to guess. 20." He said as I almost rolled my eyes.

"23?" He asked and I said nothing as he observed my face.

"You're definitely not 30. Too young." He said wondering to himself.

"28? 27?."

"25?" He asked and I couldn't stop my face from flinching.

"Ahh so I was right." He said wearing a self satisfied smirk on his face.

"Do me." He said.

"I'm not playing this game with you." I said ignoring him.

"But you're at least 30. Maybe 32." I said.

"Tienes razón. You're right." He said clapping his hands. It seemed as though he had finally run out of things to say and a couple hours of walking it was completely peaceful.

There was rustling coming from my side of the woods causing me to hold up my rifle. Alejandro was by my side in a flash with his knife out next to me. He looked at me and nodded slowly getting closer to what it was.

"Alejandro!" I whisper shouted.

"Get back." I hissed at me. He reached his hand out into the bushes and tightly grabbed something putting his knife into it. He pulled it back out and it was covered in blood. He turned around and help up 2 squirrels to me.

"Dinner." He smiled attaching them to his backpack. Okay. He was being helpful. And I was starting to like his company.

—

"Okay past relationships?" He asked.

"None." I said as he walked beside me on my side of the road.

"At all? Not even one-night stands?" He asked shocked.

"Is it so shocking?" I asked shaking my head.

"No it's just a surprise. A good surprise." He said.

"A good surprise?" I asked incredulously tucking my hair behind my ears.

"So me being a virgin is a good surprise so you can slut shame other girls? That's great." I looked up and gave a dry chuckle.

"That's not what I meant." He said putting his hands up.

"It's just refreshing." He said.

"You're not making sense." I raised my eyebrows.

"I know." He chuckled.

"What about you? Past relationships?" I asked.

"None that lasted beyond 3 months." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"There's must've been someone you liked?" He asked looking down at me. I thought about Rick and wiped my eyes how I missed him.

"Ah so there was."

"Is?" He asked surprised.

"It's in the past now. And he's married." I said trying to brush those piercing blue eyes out of my mind. He nodded not pressing any further.

"So you had a group before we met?" He asked.

"Yeah," I said trailing off thinking about what they were doing now. They must be eating dinner together. Dale's probably hiding the rifles. Lori and Carl are probably studying. Daryl must be cleaning his crossbow I chuckled. And Rick…

"Uhm What about you Alejandro did you have a group?" I asked looking up at him.

"No, I've been lone wolfing it. By myself. One man band." He said.

"It's nice having company." He said smiling down at me which I returned.

"I'm starved though. Show me your skills and cook those rabbits." I said as he laughed. We went on into the forest and started a fire. He skinned the rabbit and skewered them roasting them rotisserie style over the fire.

"Do you know what you're doing?" I asked sitting with with my knees up to my chest.

"Shh," He said.

"You can't rush art." He said concentrated on the roasted rabbits.

"I was a chef before all this." He stated.

"You said you were becoming a professor of medieval history?" I asked gently reaching my hand onto the holster so he wouldn't notice.

"I said I was trying to. Meanwhile I was actually a chef." He said and I nodded impressed.

"Okay," He said coming over to sit next to me.

"Try this." He handed me the stick with the rabbit and I bit into it. Wow it tasted good. I closed my eyes and savoured each bite of it.

"This is good." I mumbled.

"Really?" He asked taking a bite and throwing his head back.

"Esto es magnífico!" He said making me laugh.

"I'll make sure to put this on the menu back at my restaurant." He added with a wink.

"I can keep watching tonight." He said leaning close. I stood up and sat opposite him leaving the fire between us.

"I don't think so." I said narrowing my eyes playfully.

"You're still being tested." I added saving the other half of the rabbit in my pack.

"Okay so you won't mind if I sleep?" He asked and I gestured for him to lie down. He made himself comfortable on the ground and looked at me through the flickering flames.

"Buenas noches," He said before closing his eyes.

I took the rope and set out a perimeter around our little camp, hanging empty cans along it in case any Walkers decided to come past it. The fire was nearly out when I wrapped a blanket around my shoulders feeling cold. My eyes were droopy but I managed to keep them open for as long as possible.

I stayed awake most of the night reading through the Art of Peace. It was to do with the marital art creed Aikido and how by being attuned to nature you can stop your enemy from attacking you without even hurting them.

I found myself wanting to learn it but I needed a teacher. Before the apocalypse I had started learning Wing Chun so I knew the forms but never got a chance to advance. I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't notice a rag being put in my mouth and something hard hitting the back of my head.

 **A/N: what did y'all think of Alejandro? If you want a visual representation, search up Alexander DiPersia for a lovely visual aid.. :3**


	14. Chapter 14 - Dark Times

**A/N: Hey everyone, so this is a dark chapter, it's the second part of my mini subplot and is still AU, we'll actually hopefully be back in the Walking Dead timeline in the next chapter or possibly the one after that. It's likely going to be the next chapter though. But I had an interesting insert at the end of this chapter and I didn't think I was going to introduce this character so soon but here we are. So it's not Monday but it's sunday evening so here's a little treat, the next chapter I'm uploading will be early on Tuesday morning. Not tomorrow :)**

 **Thanks for everyone who reads my story especially my reviewers! I'm on holidays now so I hopefully will upload 5/6 times a week at least but I do need one day of rest haha.**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: honestly Alejandro is a sweetie and a cutie and I loved writing him so much. It was pretty calming I'm glad you liked it.**

 **JasminJW: thank you, continue enjoying it! Xx**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any of it's affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and my plotline.**

 **Warnings: This chapter contains elements of semi-graphic nature, in line with the graphic violence in the show and there are hints alluding to abuse but no rape or sexual violence.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

The first thing I felt when I woke up was this burning sensation at the back of my head. I touched the back of neck and brought it back seeing the red sticky blood. I opened my eyes but I couldn't see anything. Blindfolded. The ground was cold and felt like concrete.

My hands also appeared to be tied behind my back and my legs were tied together. I was trapped.

"Polaris?" I heard a gentle voice next to me. I must've been in some sort of building, I could hear groaning and growling coming from somewhere in the room. Walkers.

"Alejandro?" I asked into the darkness.

"Yes it's me. Where are we?" He asked.

"I-I don't know." I stuttered feeling an overwhelming sense of fear.

"Don't worry we'll get out of this." He said firmly. I felt his hands brush mine, they seemed like they were also tied up. I tried to wiggle the blindfold off but it was no use, it was hurting my eyes.

"How did we get in this?" I wondered.

"I don't know maybe they were following us." He said slowly. It had only been 2 days since I had left the farm and I had managed to get myself captured.

"They're coming. Stay calm Polaris." He said shuffling away from me. I heard pairs of heavy footsteps entire the room.

"Ah So you're finally awake." A man said directly in front of me.

"What do you want?" I spat out. He took the blindfold off and I looked up seeing 5 men standing behind him. I checked on my belt as my colt and knife were gone.

"We've already stripped you off your weapons there's no point." He was a tall bald man with heavy boots. I looked around the room seeing heavy artillery on the table along with my knife and colt. There were Walkers tied to some length of rope so they could move and looked to be guarding the back entrance.

The bald man leaned down in front of as I backed away from him.

"I can see you're looking for a way to escape. Good luck when you're tied." He sneered making the other men in his group laugh.

"What do you want?" I spelled out a little calmer this time. I needed to keep a clear head for this.

"I want you to tell us where you group is." He said tilting his head to look at me.

"What? I don't have a group." I said confused. It was true. He swallowed before backhanding me across the face. My cheek was red and stinging as I turned back to face him.

"I really don't like hitting women." He said. He gestured to one of his men who brought two chairs. They sat me and Alejandro down on each one and tied us against it so we could see them directly.

"I know you're lying. You have a group." He came up to me holding his knife.

"Don't hurt her!" Alejandro shouted next to me sweating.

"Watch your mouth pretty boy, you'll be next." He threatened him. I looked at Alejandro warningly and he looked down saying nothing more.

"I don't have a group! It's just me and him." I said gesturing to Alejandro next to me.

"This is how I know you're lying." He said pulling my leather journal out of my backpack.

"You read my journal?" I scoffed. The man opened it up and started flicking through it.

"So who is this Rick Grimes? Because it sounds like not only do you have a group, but you have a solid base with weapons and supplies." He stated closing it and standing in front of me. I said nothing.

"Andy," He said to the man next to him. He stepped forward and punched me straight in the face. I felt blood dripping from my lip and spat on the floor.

"I thought you don't hit women." I spluttered.

"That's why I've got Andy." He smirked patting the blonde haired man next to him.

"I may have been with that group before but I'm not with them anymore. I don't know where they are." I defended.

"Bullshit. Let's see how long you last without food or water." He put the blindfolds over our eyes once more leaving us tied to the chair.

—-

I don't know what time of day it was but the night had definitely passed. My throat was completely dry and if I kept coughing eventually I was going to cough up my lungs. The blindfold was taken off and a bright light was shone in my face.

"Let's see if you've learned something from yesterday." He was standing in front of me again as I squinted.

"Where is your camp?"

"Screw you."

"Where is your group?"

"Where are your supplies?" The bald man asked his string of questions but I answered the same.

"Screw. You." I said spitting at his boots. He punched me in the face again and this time I knew it was bruised. He did it repeatedly until my face was sore and I was close to passing out.

"Fine. If you won't answer, maybe I'll have a little word with your friend here." He looked at Alejandro.

"No," I said weakly trying to shuffle in the chair.

"I'll be okay Polaris." He looked at me trying to reassure me.

"Wait," I said but they ignored me untied his restraints and took him out of the room. I could hear screaming coming from somewhere in the building and winced. They were torturing him because of me. I let the tears fall from my face. Leaving Hershel's farm was a mistake. Thinking I could survive again by myself. Was a mistake.

I closed my eyes trying to block out the screaming coming from next door.

—

"Please." I whispered hoarsely the next day when they brought him back all bloody from being tortured. The bald man who I had come to know as Dwane turned around to look at me.

"What was that ?" He came close.

"Water," I pleaded.

He left the room and came back with a glass of water. He placed it on the floor and kicked it over, the water trickling away. He then picked it up and handed the empty glass with a few drops of water putting it to my lips. I tilted my head back savouring the small amounts of water.

"What do we say?" Dwane raised his eyebrows.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"You're most welcome." He smiled toothily.

"Please, can I just help my friend." I looked at Alejandro was a swollen eye and a bloody face.

"Just for a moment." I said not meeting his gaze. He untied my hands and threw me and old rag. I began wiping the blood gently from his face.

"I'm sorry," I whispered squeezing his hands behind the chair and he shook his head.

"Okay that's enough." Dwane said harshly shoving me back in the chair. He tied my hands again against the chair and I began slowly rubbing it on the metal leg.

"H-he doesn't know anything I s-swear. P-please don't hurt him." I pleaded with Dwane.

"Where is your camp?" He asked.

"It's a farm." I said feeling ashamed that they had broken me.

"Where is it? Is it close?" I nodded slowly looking at the ground.

"That's a start." He said putting some bread in my mouth. I chewed it quickly, being the first bit of food I had in a couple of days. He gave some to Alejandro who also gobbled it up. Dwane left the room leaving us alone again.

"I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have come with it. You'd be better on your own. I'm bad luck." I stated glancing at him.

"Don't blame yourself." He chuckled.

"Remember I insisted. And well, I'm glad to have met you." He gave me a half smile which I returned.

"But this is _mierda."_ He said looking defeated.

"I'm going to get us out of this." I said firmly rubbing the ropes against the chair.

"How?" He looked at me.

"I'm working on it."

"It still bothers me though." I said after a while.

"What does?" He asked.

"How did they find us? I left no tracks, I was super careful wherever we went but they found us in the forest." I said frowning.

"Perhaps they followed us? Or perhaps they saw the fire?" Alejandro suggested.

"Maybe," I thought to myself.

"It doesn't matter anyways. We're getting out of here soon." I said and he shook his head. The rope restraints were becoming worn down and in a few hours time, if they didn't notice, they would be broken.

I looked around the room not recognising the building. Where on earth did they take us? This building seems to be in the middle of nowhere. If I could just be free of these restraints I could get to my weapons and the rifle, create a diversion somehow. Maybe steal a car if they had them and get away from here. Make it to Washington.

I can't risk going back to the farm, in case they somehow follow. I can't do that to him. The door swung open indicating Dwane and his goons were back.

"Back so soon?" I mocked as he stood in front of me eyebrows raised.

"Grow some balls did you?" He said making the other men laugh. His man Andy punched me across the face in the same place as before making it ache like nobody's business.

"You think I'm afraid of blood? I'm a woman." I scoffed. He continued punching me until I could feel my face was swollen.

"Do you think you wanna tell me where your camp is exactly?" He asked leaning down to my level.

"Bite me." I said. I had to hold out. He glanced behind the chair and I immediately stopped rubbing the ropes against it. He looked back at my face and lick lips.

"New tactic." He smiled making me visibly shake. He started undoing my restraints on my arms and legs as one of the men dragged me by the hair until we were through the door. We came into another dark and dismal room where he pushed me into it.

He closed the door with the other man standing behind him and came closer. He stroked my cheek with a finger making me visibly cringe then stopped seeing my reaction.

"This entire ordeal would be a lot simpler if you tell me where your friends are. Polaris." He grinned making me snap to look at him.

"Oh that's right. Your friend Alejandro let that slip whilst we were extracting information from him." He said twirling the knife in his fingers.

"What a unique name for a beautiful girl." He said.

"W-what are you going to do?" I asked as he approached me.

"I'm not going to do anything." He shrugged.

"I'm going to ask you again. Where is your camp?" I wanted to tell them. I dreaded to think what they were going to do. I was so scared I missed Rick. I miss Lori. Carl. Andrea. T-Dog. Daryl. Carol. Maggie. Glenn. I kept my mouth closed not answering him. He pointed to one of his men who stepped forward and pressed the knife into my cheek making a deep cut. I screamed loudly as the cold metal bit into my skin.

"I don't know Rufus make another line across that so it's an x." Dwane stood with his hand on his face. I felt the knife drag across my skin again letting out an earth shattering scream.

"Feeling chatty yet?" He asked as I whimpered and started crying.

"No?" Rufus took the knife and ripped it down my shirt so it was open. He took it off leaving me standing in my bra. It's lucky I even found one. I wrapped my arms around my chest shivering in the cold room.

"Feeling shy now are we?" Dwane stepped forwards now eyeing me up and down. I backed away from him until my back hit the cold concrete wall. He stood taller than me and leaned a hand against the wall where my head was.

"Maybe I should have a little fun with you first?" He asked smirking.

"Please please no." I sobbed. He rubbed his hand down my side until it rested on my waist then put his other hand on my cheek turning it towards him so I saw his face. He began leaning in until I punched him in the face knocking him back.

"Tie this bitch back up! I'm gonna figure out what to do with her." Dwane barked orders at Rufus and Andy who dragged me back to the other room without my shirt and tied my hands up behind the chair.

When they left the room I allowed myself to cry feeling the wet tears stinging the cuts in my face. I turned my face away from Alejandro so we couldn't see and did my best to hide my body.

"Polaris." He said gently and I shook my head. The ropes were tied in a different place so I had to begin again. I cried silently rubbing the ropes against the chair. Come on. Don't lose faith Pol. I have to do this.

A few hours later I looked out the top windows seeing it was night. I was starving, Alejandro was starving. He tried handing his jacket to me but with both our arms and legs tied there was no way. I was forced to sit in ridicule with no shirt to hide my shame.

"So learnt our lesson yet?" Dwane walked in holding a clean shirt in one hand.

"Where is the farm your group's camping on?" He asked.

"It's-" I looked at Alejandro and he nodded his head, telling me to tell them.

"It's up your ass." I looked Dwane in the eyes and said it. He leaned forward and put a finger under my chin tilted it forward. His hands were hovering over my chest and I closed my eyes I didn't want to see what he was going to do.

"Open your eyes." He slapped me hard across the face which started stinging. The cuts reopened again and I felt the blood dripping from them. He used the clean shirt to wipe it.

"Tsk tsk. It's such a shame, to ruin such a pretty face." He traced his finger from my forehead to my lips which were quivering.

"I was going to bring this shirt to you, but you don't deserve it." He said. His eyes trailed down to my stomach before they stopped on the wound that was stitched up.

"Hello, what's this?" He leaned down looking at the stitches.

"So you have medical supplies as well." He said looking up.

"Where is the farm?" He asked again. He got his knife and pressed it into the wound. I clenched my eyes shut in pain that felt like it would never end. He took it out as I began bleeding from the stomach again. He dumped the T-shirt in my lap.

"I guess we'll ask your friend again." he shrugged.

Alejandro closed his eyes before they undid this restraints and took him by the arms.

"No! Take me instead! Please take me!" He didn't listen. He dragged him out of the room and the last thing I saw on Alejandro's face was disappointment. I felt hurt. I could still feel Dwane's fingers on me. It made my skin crawl.

I could see the blood pooling on the ground beneath me. I was going to pass out from blood loss if I didn't cover it. I leaned forward as much as I could on the shirt hoping it would put pressure on the wound, but I found myself slipping out of consciousness.

I was going to die here.

I woke up feeling my ropes being untied from the back.

"No wait," I said hoarsely but I was shushed.

"I'll tell you, I'll tell you-" My eyes started closing shut before fingers snapped in front of my face.

"Hey!" I looked up seeing a woman leaning down in front of me undoing the rope tied around my legs.

"Can you walk?" She asked.

"Maybe," I said weakly. She lifted the shirt from my lap and saw it was soaked with blood. She took out linens from her pack and tied it around my stomach. She handed me the shirt then turned around giving me privacy as I put the shirt over my head.

"That wound's gonna need stitches but it should hold." She said handing me a bottle of water. I downed half of it before slowing down realising I may not have much later on.

"Thanks so much. I owe you." I said and she nodded her head.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her. I looked to the other side of the room and saw the Walkers lying on the floor with their heads severed from their body.

"I was scavenging, supplies, weapons and I saw you." She said checking the room speaking quietly. I found my pack on the other side of the room and checked the contents. Bastards took my food and clothes. My journal was still there. I hobbled over to the table with the artillery and took my rifle and attached the belt with my knife and colt.

"I've missed you." I smiled at the gun checking for ammunition.

"Let's go." The woman said eyeing the door in case anyone came through.

"Wait, I have a friend, he's being held in the next room and I can't leave without him." I said thinking of all the torture Alejandro took for me.

"Your friend's likely dead." The woman said curtly.

"That may be but I owe him my life." I said staring at her. She seemed to be thinking for a moment before sighing deeply.

"Fine but there's only two of us and six of them. How do you propose we get your friend in the next room?" She asked. I looked over to the machine guns lying on the table and smiled pointing to it. She followed my gaze and smirked. I took a few of the pistols and stuffed it in my pack saving it for later. There were a couple of boxes of rounds which we took and a machine gun each, making sure the magazine was loaded.

"This is a bad plan." The woman said as we stood against the wall by the door. I stood behind her seeing a white scabbard on her back.

"I know." I said.

"Is that a sword?" I asked her with one eyebrow raised.

"A katana." She said and I nodded my head slowly.

"A katana." I repeated.

"Yeah, got something against that?" She challenged.

"Uh no." I raised my hands up.

"I know it's a shitty plan, but it's the only plan we got." I sighed.

We were going to get out of this alive. I groaned feeling my stomach hurt. I wasn't counting but this was the at least the fourth or fifth time I would have to re-stitch that wound. The bleeding had slowed down which was good.

"Sure you can make it with that?" She pointed to my stomach and I nodded. She pressed down on the handle gently as the door creaked open. Laughter could be heard in another room. The lights were flickering in the corridor as the woman in front of me pointed her gun out scouting the area.

She signalled for me to come forward and we came outside the door we could hear talking coming from. We both stood outside the door getting ready to storm it, if they had Alejandro in there we needed to dispose of these men quickly and get out, hopefully getting a car along the way. She nodded to me as we stood close and began counting on her fingers.

"3...2...1...Now!" She shouted. She pushed down on the handle and the door swung open capturing the attention of the seven men in the room. They were sitting drinking beer and put their hands up as we came in the room.

"Drop whatever weapons you have. Now." The woman in front of me said as they took out their pistols and rolled them on the floor.

"Alejandro?" I lowered my gun slightly seeing him not tied up and completely fine. His cuts were stitched up and he was fine. Completely fine.

"What?" I asked lowering my gun slightly.

"What are you doing?" He was sitting on the chair next to one of the men laughing.

"Oh Pol. I thought it was obvious." He replied in a normal American accent.

"For a smart girl I can't believe you didn't connect the dots." He said standing up and walking over to me.

"Your boy here, is part of my group." Dwane said smiling at Alejandro and patted him on the shoulder.

"You sold me out?" I asked feeling betrayed.

"And you still don't get it sweetheart." Dwane said clapping his hands together.

"How do you think we found you?" He asked and I almost dropped the machine gun in realisation.

"We should go," The woman whispered next to me.

"I haven't had a chance to meet you yet darling." Dwane said with his hands up strolling over to the woman next to me.

"Ain't you a pretty thing." He said smirking at her.

"Back up." She ordered making Dwane go back.

"What did you two think was gonna happen coming in here? You thought you were going to just shoot us and leave?" He asked incredulously.

"It was pretty stupid of you guys to leave your weapons lying about on the table there." I said smirking.

"Look, if you ladies are going to shoot us, just shoot us. You would've done it already, the thing is you don't have the-" I put my finger on the trigger as Dwane was riddled with bullets in his chest and fell to the floor. The other woman shot the other 5 men leaving Alejandro standing there. I pointed the gun at him and moved closer towards him.

"Pol, you're not gonna shoot me." He said trying to convince me.

"I just shot them without blinking an eye. What do you think I'm gonna do to you? You betrayed my trust, you followed me, had me kidnapped and tortured and molested. I couldn't give a shit about you." I pulled out the colt and took the safety off pressed my finger on the trigger firing a single bullet straight to his head. He fell to the floor with a thud as I dropped the machine gun.

The woman was looking at me curiously and lowered her weapon.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I just found out the man I was beginning to trust helped kidnap me instead. I'm starting to get too old for this shit." I sighed. I leaned down and kneeled by his body watching him unmoving on the floor.

Me and the woman checked they were all shot in the head and left the building, seeing it was still late at night. The building was on the edge of the forest but there were train tracks, these must be the same ones I saw earlier, if I followed the line north It would take me up towards where I want to go.

"Thank you for all you've done for me." I said putting my hand on her shoulder and began walking away.

"Where are you going?" She asked incredulously and I walked back to her.

"You're wounded. That needs to be stitched up, you need time to rest." She said.

"I need time to get away from here." I said shaking my head.

"Let me stitch up your wound at least, then you can head to wherever you're going." She said and I conceded. We walked across the road past the train tracks and disappeared into the forest. The woman walked over to two Walkers which were missing their jaws and arms, they were chained to a tree.

I pulled out my knife quickly about to stab them in the head before she shoved me back.

"They're Walkers!" I shouted angry she wasn't letting me kill them.

"I need them!" She said.

"For what?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Disguise." I backed off slightly. That was actually pretty smart.

"We'll go a bit deeper into the woods and start a fire, I can stitch you up there and you can rest." She said pushing her dreadlocks back. She untied the chain and pulled the Walkers in front of her as I stood next to her.

"What's your name?" I asked her.

"Michonne."

 **A/N: Trust me I was planning for Michonne to appear later but it just happened! I was also just thinking, maybe you guys think I rushed that scene, with her getting revenge on her torturers. but she's gone through all that shit with Shane, her line of thinking is that I'm not gonna let this bastards explain themselves I'm just going to deal with it and move on. The fact Alejandro used her has just given her trust issues for the rest of this story, her emotional turmoil over him is not going to be that long, she only knew him a few days and she was on the fence about him anyways. So I'm sorry if any of you are disappointed with that last scene but this is how I decided was the best way to handle it. Just kill them and move on, if she let them live, they would've hunted her down. She's essentially on her own again. survival instincts.**


	15. Chapter 15 - It All Came Up To This

**A/N: Omg you guys so this chapter is a culmination of the season finale for season 2! I can't believe I'm actually still writing this story and I have you guys to thank for that! This chapter is a little shorter than the others but that's just because I'm starting season 3 in a new chapter, the next one. You'll definitely see the direction this story is going in and it has somewhat of a little reunion. for those of you who have watched past season 2, you'll understand what Pol's doing as it will nicely flow on to season 3, which I'm super excited to write xx**

 **Thanks to everyone that reads and supports my story! Particularly my reviewers:**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: Thank you! Yeah a straightforward dealing of the kidnappers was a way to go with it because it seemed like the logical thing to do and she's tired of putting up with people's shit at this point.**

 **Ryane: Aww I'm glad your day got better though! Oh I've seen the last Jedi. I saw it on the premiere at midnight lol :3, I thought it was a brilliant story. Yeah, that's how I feel about getting reviews on this story, I get so happy when I get an email and a read a review from one of you lovely people! It's a great support and motivation to write another chapter! Haha as much as I love Richonne in TWD, I think my coupling will be awesome. But there's a lot to get through...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters or plotline, only my OC and storyline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

"Thanks for this Michonne." I said as she pulled out a needle and thread from her pack.

"This is going to hurt." She said lifting my shirt gently.

"I know the drill by now." I winced as the needle pierced my skin. I kept my eyes closed as I felt her going in and out with the needle, she seemed to do as good of a job as Beth as she tied it off and then wrapped the linen around it.

"There," She said as I pushed the shirt back down.

"You should be good now." She stayed adding more sticks to the fire.

"You can rest. Sleep. What's your name?" She gestured.

"Polaris." I said and she nodded.

"I'll keep watch." She stated looking around in the darkness.

"Don't you want to sleep?" I asked her.

"It's you who needs rest right now." She stated.

"I won't argue with that." I yawned feeling like I could sleep easy with her around. I settled down on the ground and eyed her going through her pack. I checked my knife and gun were with me just in case, before closing my eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

—

I opened my eyes to the sun hanging low in the sky. I rubbed my eyes and sat up being careful of my stomach. Michonne's two Walkers were chained to a tree nearby and she had set up a perimeter using rope and cans. She came back holding a deer over her back.

"You're awake." She said putting the deer down.

"Yeah, how long was I out for?" I said looking around.

"It's mid-afternoon I think." She states pushing her dreadlocks back.

"Wow okay, I'm sorry I didn't help." I said pointed to the deer.

"It's fine, I work better alone." She said shrugging.

"Do you know how to skin that and everything?" I asked as she took out her knife. She said nothing and began skinning the deer, removing the entrails and dividing the meat up in two sections.

"Half for you, half for me." She said putting it over the fire she started.

"I would cook it soon, wouldn't want it to smell and get bad. Attract Walkers." She said. She cooked the deer as we ate lunch in relative silence.

"Where are you heading?" She asked.

"North, towards DC heard there's a refugee camp there." I said tearing off pieces of meat.

"That's a hell of a long way away." She raised her eyebrows.

"What about you?" I asked her.

"Wherever," she shrugged.

"Do you want to travel with me? For a while?" I asked tentatively. A woman of her skills could be really useful and the fact she selflessly saved my life from those monsters. She looked shocked for a moment before nodding.

The two Walkers which were chained began getting restless and raised their arms.

"What is it?" I asked Michonne who looked panicked.

"Get up." She ordered and stamped her feet to put out the fire.

I quickly gathered my belongings in a pack and put the jacket on that was in there. I took my knife out as she unchained the Walkers and kept a hand on her back holding the katana. With one hand she held the rope with the Walkers as I stood close by her.

A Walker stumbled out of the forest and reached out a hand with it's inside dripping out onto the floor. It seemed to come forwards towards us and I was about to knife it when Michonne held an arm in front of me.

She signalled me to look around as the Walker shrugged past us. There was an entire horde of them invading the forest. And they were heading back South. Towards the farm.

My eyes widened. Rick. Carl. Lori. The others. I swore I wouldn't go back but I have to warn them. They'll die otherwise. We stood still for about half an hour as the herd finally passed out.

"Holy shit what was that?" I whispered scared out of my mind.

"That was a herd." She said.

"We should continue north quickly." She stated glancing around.

"I can't." I said simply making her look at me.

"I have to go South." She looked at me incredulously.

"I-I have people there. A group I used to know, they're good people I have to warn them." I explained as she understood.

"Then this is where we part ways." She said putting her sword back in the scabbard. She held out her hand to me as I shook it.

"Thank you, Maybe we'll meet again one day." I said.

"Maybe," she nodded before disappearing into the woods and I was left on my own. I had to get past the horde somehow. I walked East out of the forest until I was on the highway and I saw the whole scale of Walkers.

How am I going to get through that? Then I remembered Atlanta.

"Oh gross," I groaned thinking to myself. I stayed a good deal behind the herd hiding just in the forest clearing when I thought I was danger. But they were moving slowly.

Way too slowly for me. around and spotte

The sun was hanging low in the sky. I looked around and spotted a car shoved in the side of the road. Hiding behind it I heard moaning coming from inside the car. I went around the side of it I looked through the window when suddenly a decomposed hand banged against the glass making me jump back. I pulled out my knife in my right hand and quietly opened the car door as half of the Walker fell out. Stabbing it in the head it stopped moving.

I had no hatchet or axe so I would have to do it with the knife. Holding my breath I dragged the knife into the walker down the middle as all the internal organs could be seen. I took parts of the Walker and began rubbing the blood on my face and body trying not to throw up. I put strings of intestine and lungs around my shoulders making me gag. Hopefully this would be enough.

I jogged forward silently until I was behind a few straggler Walkers at the back of the horde. Walking past them, they began turning their heads but paid no attention. Okay. I can do this. I disappeared into the forest that I knew would come up to the back of the farm and began walking a bit faster. There were Walkers around me but they paid no notice thinking I was one of them.

"Please don't rain." I muttered. I tried to break out into a light jog but there were so many of them I had to cut a few down. I looked up at the sky where it was getting darker and darker. I started recognising the trees and clearings we broke out into as we were getting closer and closer to the farm.

Despite the fact I was surrounded by hundreds of walkers I was actually completely nervous to see the rest of them again. Especially since how I left things with them. But I was looking forward to see Rick, I wondered how he managed to deal with Shane, how Lori was handling her pregnancy.

They were going to have to leave the farm, I had to make them see that.

I slowed down feeling out of breath. I saw the field we came out to which was lined by a fence. We were nearly there. All the walkers had crowded up by the fence and were trying to knock it over.

There was no way I could get past that undetected. Walkers converged around me trying to move forward and I was pushed down to the ground. I tried to get up but there were too many of them. So I laid there covering my face and trying to protect my body the best I could. Most of the Walkers passed over me as they knocked down the wooden fence and I was near the back of the herd again.

This time I didn't care and mustered all the energy I could to sprint. I came out of a small woodland area into the far end of Hershel's field where the barn was, to see the Walkers invading the farm. It didn't look like anybody was outside which meant they could all be inside the house. I had to warn them somehow get their attention. I pulled out the rifle and checked how many rounds I had. A lot. Good. This was a really stupid idea.

I came out from behind the barn and began shooting into the field, attracting the Walkers towards me. I knifed a few that came my way as they fell to the floor. I glanced over to the house as the door open and then they ran inside. Good. Shit. How am I going to get out of this.

I kept shooting retreating back behind the barn and climbing up towards the top of it.

I heard banging inside the barn and took my gun out. I slowly walked around the top of the inside the floorboards creaking below me. I looked towards the barn door seeing Walker hands coming through, breaking the wood apart. There must've been a good 50 of them leaning against it and eventually their weight would force it open and I would be surrounded. I heard scuffling on the level below me and pointed the rifle towards it. Liquid was being thrown across the barn floor. That doesn't sound like a Walker. I walked down the stairs slowly and came down seeing a Rick Grimes pouring oil over the ground.

"Rick!" I called out. He looked shocked and his head shot up to meet my gaze. He put the bottle of oil down and walked towards me.

"Pol? Wh-what are you doing back?" He asked within arms distance.

"I came to-"

"Pol!" Carl ran towards me tackling me and wrapping his arms around me.

"Hey," I laughed.

"It's good to see you too!" I returned his hug ruffling his hair. I looked at Rick smiling.

"So burning the barn down, that's a pretty stupid plan Mr Grimes." I stated as Carl let go of me.

"Shooting a rifle into a horde of Walkers was pretty stupid." He mirrored me eyebrows raised.

"Touche." I said grinning. Oh I missed him. It had only been 5 days since I last saw him and here he was, standing in front of me, growing a beard. He walked up to me and put his hand on my cheek seeing the bruises and split lip.

"Who did this to you?" He rubbed his finger over my scars.

"As much as I would love to dive into this story. We have more pressing issues." I said pointing to the door which was about to give way.

"Right." He jumped back and picked up the bottle of oil to continue spreading over the barn floor. I took the one from Carl and began mimicking his actions. A few more of the wooden panels in the door broke and the Walker's faces were visible.

"Oh Shit." Rick said worriedly.

"Alright, okay. Hurry. Up there." Rick pointed up the ladder to me and Carl.

"What about you?" I asked him.

"I'll be down here, I need you to drop the lighter when I say," He leaned down putting a hand on my shoulder.

"We'll stop some of them from reaching the house and distract the others." He said and I nodded. Carl was looking away before Rick put his hand on his cheek.

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me. Stay with Pol. Carl I love you." They held eye contact for a few moments before he looked at me.

"You can do this." He nodded. I presses myself against him wrapping my arms around his neck to hug him briefly, he hugged back and squeezed my waist.

"Sorry I smell of Walker," I winced realising I had hugged him with the entrails of Walkers around my shoulders. But looking at Rick his face was bloody and his hair was greasy. He gave me a smirk.

"Alright, go, go!" He said as we scrambled up the ladder to the top layer of the barn. Rick began kicking the barn door and shouting at the Walkers. I pulled out my rifle and pointed it to the barn door, just in case.

"You want some? Come and get it!" Rick shouted opening the barn door. He ran back towards us and climbed up the ladder.

"You want some of this?" He turned back and shouted to them as Carl helped him up.

"Pol, now!" He shouted. I opened the lighter and dropped it down on the barn floor engulfing it in flames. Carl and Rick both had their pistols out and kept them trained on the Walkers.

"You can shoot now?" I looked incredulously at Carl who nodded eagerly training his weapon on the Walkers.

"Is everyone okay?" I asked Rick who looked down.

"Rick?"

"Hey," I pulled his arm gently forcing him to look at me.

"Who did we lose?"

"Dale. Shane." Rick said. I nodded numbly feeling myself get teary, not Dale. Please not Dale. He was so strong and the only other person who saw through Shane. And Shane? I was honestly relieved to hear he was dead, he was too dangerous to be around. But judging by Rick's face, it hurt him a lot, he was his best friend.

"How?" I asked my voice shaky.

"Dale got bit."

"And I-" Rick got choked up and I squeezed his hand.

"Don't worry about it." I let go of his hand reloading the rounds into the rifle shooting any Walkers who were making their way out of the flames.

I heard the sound of car engines and gun shots coming from outside the barn as Walkers fell to the floor inside. We backed up against the opening of the barn window at the upper level ready to get out. We stood on the edge looking out on the field seeing the Walkers head towards.

"Hey! Here! Get in here!" Rick shouted to Jimmy who was driving the RV.

Carl and I shot the Walkers to stop them from getting towards the house. The cars outside seemed to be circling around shooting them to defend the house. Jimmy parked the RV in front of where we were standing and Rick put his arm around Carl.

We got on the corrugated roof of the barn then climbed to the top of the RV. Rick climbed down the ladder shooting as I stood at the top to give him clear space. He reached the ground followed by Carl then me as we ran around the RV, keeping Carl in between us. I swapped the rifle for my pistol and fired that keeping our path clear. We came around to the entrance and heard the screams of Jimmy as he was devoured by a Walker. The blood splattered up to the window as we followed Rick.

"This way!" He shouted. I saw a jeep come circling around with Glenn shooting his shotgun out into the field. Well that's one way to do it. T-Dog was driving another car with Andrea sticking her head out to the shoot the Walkers behind the fence.

We ran across the field keeping low as Carl began letting out sounds of panic.

"It's okay Carl, nearly there." I kept my hand on his shoulder as I ran behind him.

"Come on now. Into the woods!" Rick said firmly as we reached for tree cover. We went a short ways into the forest as I heard more gunshots coming from the farm. I stopped running looking back at the farm.

"What are you doing?" Rick asked hurriedly his eyes darting around in the dark.

"I can't." I said to him.

"What do you mean you can't? We gotta go now." He said firmly grabbing my wrist.

"I owe it to them, to help." I said.

"You are helpin' you helped me and Carl." He said frowning.

"I have to help them. Its on my conscious, I have to do this. You know you can't stop me." I said searching his blue eyes with my own.

"If it's too much, you come right back. You hear me?" He said as we were face to face.

"Come right back." He pressed his hand to my cheek gently and pressed his forehead to mine.

"I promise." I said.

"I'll be back." I reassured Carl smiling at him.

I began running back through the woods until i was at the field again. I pulled out my gun and began shooting down any Walkers that came across me. I saw Carol and Andrea backed up against the barn trying to defend themselves and pulled out the rifle shooting from a distance. I cut down a few Walkers and reached them both of them looking at me in surprise.

"Room for one more?" I grinned at them as Carol smiled and Andrew shook her head.

"You're crazy." She said as we kept Carol behind us and kept shooting into the horde which were descending on us.

The blue truck waiting about 30 ft away suddenly drove off. Without us.

"They left us." Andrea slowly lowered her gun as a Walker came at her from the side. I shot it just missing Andrea as she jumped back in shock.

"They must've had a good reason." I said shooting the Walkers.

"You believe that?" A scared Andrea asked from beside me.

"I have to." I said my voice wavering.

"You look like shit." Andrea glanced at my bruised and bloody face.

"Yeah, well." I started shooting down the Walkers seeing I had limited ammo.

"I've had a shitty few days." I looked behind me but Carol was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Carol?" I panicked. We had no time to look for her before a crowd of Walkers surrounded us. We used all the energy we had shooting left and right to keep them away.

The Walkers began following the direction of the cars which drove off. There was one more red truck waiting there, we just needed to clear a path. Rick ran out of a clearing with Carl and Hershel and got in the cars.

"Rick wait!" Andrea shouted as we began running towards the car.

"Rick!" I screamed, but they drove off, not even seeing us. Andrea picked up the duffle bag on the floor as we stood there.

"Let's go!" I said to Andrea as we ran off into the woods. My rifle was out of rounds as I dropped it there, it was useless, I only had my colt which had limited bullets and my knife now.

We watched from the woods as the barn collapsed on itself, the entire place engulfed in flames with the smoke rising high.

"Come on." I pulled her arm away from the farm as we disappeared into the forest. We kept running until the morning constantly followed my Walkers and running dangerously low on ammunition for our guns.

We were both out of breath and exhausted as we pulled one another along trying to survive. But I didn't know how long we could keep going like this for. We ran faster until we were clear of them for a while and bent down behind the trunk of a tree. Andrea opened the magazine to check how many rounds she had left and put it back in her holster. She opened the duffle bag which had a few rounds.

We grinned at each other and began loading up our guns with the few bullets remaining, ready for the next horde of zombies. A walker came out from behind the tree trunk and Andrea pushed me away, standing up and smashing it's head against the tree. It fell to the ground growling as she kicked it's head in, until the brains were splattered and it stopped moving.

She wiped her forehead and pulled the duffle bag over her shoulder.

"Hey thanks." I said and she nodded breathing deeply.

"I want to say I'm sorry about everything." I said sheepishly looking at her.

"Looks like I'm stuck with you and there's no point hating you the entire time. We're in this shit show together so we just gotta deal with it." She shrugged patting my shoulder. I smiled walking off after her.

We reached another part of the woods and were surrounded by Walkers which began converging on us. We stood back to back firing on them as they kept stumbling towards us.

"Bastards are persistent." I said checking the bullets as Andrea scoffed. After a while we were both out of bullets and I pulled my knife out and Andrea took out her pen knife. We were outnumbered, outmanned, exhausted and running on fumes. We had no energy left to fight.

Andrea tripped and fell on the floor twisting her ankle. I bent down and threw her arm around my shoulder trying to back away from the Walker snarling towards us. But I didn't have the strength to carry her and carry myself. The knife was knocked out of my hand as we continued backing away. The Walker came closer and closer until I heard a clash and the head rolled to the ground.

Stood in front of us was a hooded figure with two chained Walkers missing their jaws and a samurai sword out in front of them. I looked at Andrea and smiled whilst she looked confused. The hooded figure walked towards us and lowered their sword.

"Michonne?"

 **A/N: As satisfying as it would've been for you guys to see her shoot Shane, I didn't want to change that fundamental aspect of the show. it was Rick who stabbed him and Carl who shot him when he was reanimated as a Walker and that is what shapes is character and meant he grew up so fast in the show. So I thought it was best to leave that, and anyways remember Shane is not the important part of this story, it's about Pol.**


	16. Chapter 16 - How Time Flies

**A/N: Another chapter here for you guys! It covers the first couple of episodes of season 3, and as you guys know if you've watched the show that there's like a 9 month gap between the end of season 2 to season 3 so that's what I've done as well. you guys know that Pol has been with Andrea and Michonne so likely chance is that we won't be seeing Rick and the others for a bit, I might work round that and change up what my plan was so you guys will just have to see what happens. I think we're definitely getting to Woodbury in this chapter, I hope you like my take on the governor!**

 **Thanks to everyone who reads and supports my story! Particularly to TeiaShore who's just favourites and to my lovely reviewers:**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: Thank you for reading and commenting! Yeah I'm going according to the show so Lori was back at Hershel's house with Beth, Patricia, Carol and Hershel defending it when they eventually got away. She will indeed turn up I just need to figure out where haha.**

 **Ryane: Your comment made my day thank you :)!**

 **ash (guest): Hey! Thanks for taking the time and patience for reading my story, I'm glad you're loving it! Haha I love having torturous sweet, intense moments with those two without giving you actual results. I love building that an you'll continue to see that.**

 **JasminJW: Aww I'm glad the transition is working! I tried to make it as smooth as possible and hopefully it's making sense.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters and storylines, only my OC and my plotline.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

8 months later

"You wanna try this one?" I asked Michonne standing outside the shop.

"Maybe." She shrugged holding a hand over the handle of her katana.

She pushed the door open as we heard scuffling of feet coming from inside the shop. She took the sword out and held it in front of her as I took my machete out. I followed her lead walking around the shop quietly. We hid behind one of the shelves as a Walker began growling walking to where we were hiding. It scuffled past us as I shoved it into a shelf knocking it over. Michonne gracefully sliced the head off attracting the other Walkers. We both turned around looking at two more Walkers stumbling for us.

"One each?" She asked and I smirked. I took the machete and sliced the head off one of them whilst Michonne dealt with the other one.

"How is it when you do it, it looks badass, but when I do it the machete always get's stuck." I groaned yanking the knife out of the head.

"Maybe because this is a samurai sword and I'm trained in it." She said mischievously making me roll my eyes.

"You really think we should've left Andrea?" Michonne asked looking around on the ground for what we needed.

"Come on Michonne, this is Andrea, she's the reason we survived all winter." I said chuckling. I searched behind the empty tins and boxes on the shelf but it was nowhere to be found. Michonne leaned down on the floor and picked up a few packets.

"Found it?"

"Yeah," She held up the aspirin. We left the shop and went off to go where we left Andrea to stand guard. Although she was barely keeping it together.

It had been 7/8 months since Hershel's farm was overrun by Walkers. Me, Andrea and Michonne had been surviving by ourselves and doing just fine. Scavenging for food, weapons and medicines we carried each other throughout the winter.

In the first month I held hope that we would find Rick and the others again. But I was wrong, I spent the second month crying over them, they could be dead, or I would never see them again. They thought we were dead, when I promised I would make it back to Rick and Carl in those woods. Even if I never got to see them again I prayed that they were alive and safe and unharmed. I had found my family then lost them again and now I had a new one. I gave up on hoping anymore. Those 9 months we stayed out and surviving, made me realise something: hope was hopeless, you had to deal with the reality of the situation in front of you, you had to fend for yourself.

Having Michonne and Andrea for company was uneasy, especially at the beginning when they used to argue with each other a lot, but we learned to tolerate each other and grew close. They are the closest people to family I have right now, they have saved me countless times and I know I would die for them. I didn't need anything else.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Michonne snapped her fingers in front of my face as we were waiting by a truck, scouting the area.

"Sorry, deep thinking." I said shaking my head.

We watched from behind as there were sparsely populated Walkers in the town. We looked over at the building that said Deer Cooler which is where we were holed up.

We walked quickly over making sure we weren't followed by Walkers and walked inside. It was a dark and dusty place but for us, it was temporarily home. Michonne's Walkers were chained up as usual and we opened the door which used to be for storing meat. The hooks were still swinging from the ceiling and a temporary bed with sheets was laid out on the floor. But no one there. I walked forwards quickly to see where our third companion had gone and through the door seeing Andrea sprawled on the floor.

I saw her and shook my head. I leaned down next to her and stroked her forehead.

"Whatcha doing out here?" Michonne asked relaxing the hand about to take out her katana.

"I needed sleep." Andrea said muffled.

"That's why we made the bed for you." I said pushing her hair back.

"You still have a fever." I put the back of my hand on Andrea's throat and felt it was also hot. Michonne came over and we sat her up against the wall leaning down beside her. Andrea closed her eyes as I settled against the wall letting her lean on me, she groaned.

Michonne pulled out the aspirin from the packet and put it to Andrea's mouth.

"Take this." She said as Andrea swallowed the pills. I pulled a water bottle from my pack and gave her a few sips. Michonne took out a rag and I used it to try and wipe the sweat that was collecting on her face. She took the water bottle from me and began pressing it against her head to cool her down. Andrea turned to face us.

"How is it out there?" She asked opening her eyes.

"Oh you know like a nice spring day in Georgia." I smiled making her smirk.

"The same. It's quiet." Michonne answered as I gave her a sideways glance.

"You're lying." Andrea stated.

"We should go in a few days." Michonne said.

"Once you're fully recovered." I said to Andrea shooting Michonne a warning glance.

"They're coming," Andrea said.

"You should go, I'll just hold you guys back." She continued as Michonne shook her head.

"Remember what you said to me all those months ago?" I looked at Andrea who shook her head.

"We're stuck with each other, there's no way we're going to leave you here by yourself." I scoffed.

"I can take care of myself." Andrea said dismissively.

"Saved your asses all winter didn't I?" She looked at both of us with a wry smirk then began coughing deeply. I took the water bottle from Michonne and gave Andrea a few more sips.

"Look, you have Pol, she can have your back. Most of the time." Andrea smirked at me making me smile.

"I don't think I can make do with an unreliable partner." Michonne joked talking to Andrea.

"I'm right here guys." I glared at both of them.

"I won't have you dying for me." Andrea said more firmly.

"Good solider won't leave your post." She said to Michonne who looked down. It was moments like these which reminded me of all the arguments we had when we first started this. Every now and then someone would say something spiteful and bring the feelings rushing back. But no matter what, we had each other's back.

"Andrea-" I started.

"And you," She turned to me.

"You should go find Rick and the others."

"What?" I said shocked.

"I think you and I both know they're still alive somewhere. You should make an effort to find them, be with them again." Andrea said wrapping the blanket around her shoulders.

"Andrea, they're dead." I stated as a matter-of-fact.

"I can't have hope they'll be there." I said.

"Screw you both." Andrea said. I got up and walked to the other room as Michonne followed me.

"What now?" I asked her in a low voice.

"Leaving her is not an option." Michonne said glancing back.

"Agreed."

"Let's hope the aspirin works somewhat and we can leave this place in a few days." Michonne shrugged.

"And then where are we gonna go? We've been going round and round with this for months, we need to find a more permanent solution." I said frustrated.

"There is no permanent solution!" She whispered harshly.

"Well at least a place that won't be overrun in minutes." I said crossing my arms. Michonne closed her eyes calming down.

"You're right." She said nodding.

"Andrea's stubborn as hell, you think she's going to willingly come with us?" I asked.

"Well there's two of us and one of her."

Three days later and the aspirin made a huge difference, she was ready to travel and at least defend herself so she reluctantly agreed.

I lifted up the metal gate for the backdoor as Michonne led the way with her two Walkers chained behind her and Andrea and me behind them. I unholstered by gun and checked the number of rounds left. One. One bullet. I turned over the handle looking at the engraved P.

"Rick gave you that right? About a year ago?" I looked at Andrea who was looking at me holding the colt.

"Uh yeah," I said putting it back in my belt.

"He also uh taught me to shoot, and I introduced him to Led Zeppelin." I smiled to myself remembering that day on the top of the RV. Andrea chuckled and looked ahead as we walked in between the piles of timber.

"Shane taught me to shoot." I looked up at her quickly in surprise. I hadn't heard his name in months, all of the drama that occurred last year was nothing now. It was so unimportant and Shane was so irrelevant to me that hearing his name, I felt nothing.

"Oh right." I said nodding to her.

"We also uh," Andrea trailed off gesturing with her arm.

"Ew God!" I groaned scrunching my face up making Andrea laughed.

"This is before I knew what a shithead he was." Andrea defended.

"Shane though? Of all people?" I asked her and she nodded smirking.

"I always thought something happened between you and Rick." She said.

"Why would you say that?" I chuckled nervously. Andrea pointed to my cheeks which must've gone red as I felt them heat up.

"Nothing really happened." I shrugged.

"Sure, I like him. Liked him. Liked him a lot actually." I said as Andrea listened to me.

"He was actually the first decent guy I had met. And it happened in a post-apocalyptic world." I laughed.

"With how close y'all were I thought.." Andrea trailed off.

"No, I could never have done that to Lori." I shook my head.

"There may have been a kiss. Or two." I said sheepishly making Andrea raise her eyebrows.

"Go on," She waved her arms at her.

"Come on is this school where we gossip about our crushes?" I said dismissively.

"Well we got nothing but time." Andrea grinned.

"The first time, he just initiated it. We were talking, it was like after Sophia and we got closer and closer and he just kissed me. The second time was when he walked me to the highway, when I left. I didn't think I would see him again, so I kissed him before he could even respond." I explained.

"Wow so he kissed you? I bet he liked you." Andrea said.

"Maybe," I said unsure.

"Or maybe he was just confused. The thing is, it doesn't even matter anymore, because I probably won't see him again." I shrugged sadly.

"You really believe that?" Andrea asked.

"I have to."

We walked into the forest which was dense with trees and eerily quiet.

"We gotta be careful." Michonne said with a hand on her katana, hearing branches snapping.

I kept an arm in front of Andrea who had a hand on her knife on the belt and my other hand was holding the machete ready to strike. We continued walking through in silence now. Every now and then I looked over at Andrea who was looking pale still but she was on her feet and that's what mattered. She was going to make it. We would make it. We would find a place.

It was getting dark so we set up camp as I took the first watch. Michonne started a fire and went out to hunt whilst I guarded over Andrea who was resting. As I stared into the flickering flames I began wondering if Rick, Lori, Carl, Daryl and the others were alive, what would they be up to? Would Hershel, Maggie, Beth and Patricia still be with them? I hope they were safe. Has Lori had her baby yet?

The cans on perimeter began rattling, I eyed Andrea who began getting up.

"Stay here." I said firmly as she laid back down resigned. I pulled out the machete and quietly creeped over to the edge. A Walker was snarling back at me as I drove the knife into it's skull as it fell to the ground.

"Ugly shit." I spat walking back to camp.

"All good?" Andrea asked weakly as I nodded.

"Where's Michonne?"

"Getting dinner."

"Please don't tell me it's rat again." Andrea moaned.

"That was just the one time." I chuckled.

"I know, but it was disgusting." She made a face.

I pulled out the leather journal from my pack and flicked through the pages which were filled with writing for the past 9 months. I was more than halfway through, so I decided to only chronicle the important events, I didn't want to run out of paper and stop writing. I had a feeling a lot more was about to happen.

We had a relatively calm few days trekking through the forest. Feeding Andrea aspirin pills every day had helped her regain some of her strength that a little colour was returning back to her face. We came out of the woods and took the highway, Michonne thought we could probably risk it a little bit as we passed corn fields.

"Water," I handed it to Michonne who nodded appreciatively.

"Water?" I offered Andrea but she had stopped walking and was looking out into the field.

"Andrea?" She took the bottle and turned our attention. There was thick black smoke coming from beyond the forest which was at the end of the field.

Andrea took a sip from the water and began trudging through the fields. Michonne and I gave each other a look and followed her as she yanked the chained Walkers behind her.

"Don't get too happy," I said to Andrea who was walking with some excitement.

"It could mean food, supplies, or even people." She said as the wheat brushed our legs.

"Or Walkers." Michonne added from behind.

"Cynic," I scoffed at her making Michonne smirk.

We walked into the woods, feeling the heat on our backs as we followed the black smoke. Or more accurately followed Andrea, a delusional, fever patient following the black smoke. Yup. No flaws in this plan.

"We should keep moving." I said to Michonne seeing it was already mid-afternoon and we hadn't made as much progress walking as we should've.

"I know, but do you wanna be the one to tell her that?" She said gesturing to Andrea who was walking with purpose.

"Good point." I said lowly and caught up to Andrea, in case she collapsed from delusion. We reached some sort of clearing where there was a crashed helicopter releasing the thick black smoke into the atmosphere.

"I'll be damned." Andrea said smiling and out of breath. She suddenly leaned forward and vomited all over the ground. I rubbed a hand on her back helping her back to standing position.

"Don't push yourself." Michonne said warningly. We helped her settle down on the ground behind a bush and she continued coughing. Michonne chained the Walkers at a tree nearby to Andrea and handed her a gun.

"We'll check it out." She said to her. I patted her back as she gestured for us to go.

I walked forward tentatively, hand on the machete handle at my belt. Michonne followed quietly behind me. I stopped suddenly, my foot snapping the branches underneath. I felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness seeing a man in air force uniform lying on the ground with blood coming out of his mouth and his lower body completely separated from his upper body. His organs were splattered on the ground and he was unmoving.

Michonne looked at the body for a minute before pulling her katana out ever so slightly, she walked over to the cockpit. She glanced through the windows of the helicopter and bent down slightly stopping in shock.

"What is it?" I said and she beckoned me to come over. I stood next to her and looked where she was looking.

Sure enough in the distance, were men wearing kevlar vests and getting into cars. Holy shit. There were people here. People who could maybe help us. We backed away and jogged back to Andrea who was sitting on the ground.

"Someone's coming," I whispered as we leaned down on the ground behind the bush.

"Any survivors?" Andrea asked.

"Two dead, but I can't find the second body." Michonne stated.

I scanned my eyes into the field as two white jeeps pulled up where the helicopter was. Whoever they were had resources. At least four or five men came out of the jeep with guns and weapons looking around.

"Fan out," I could hear one of them say as they began looking in the area. A couple of Walkers stumbled into the clearing as a man was holding up his gun.

"Save your rounds until you need them." I heard the same man say.

Andrea was struggling and kept coughing trying to keep it quiet. Michonne rubbed her back anxiously as I looked on trying to suss if they were dangerous or not. More Walkers came out from hearing the car engines, but the men easily took care of them using bow and arrows and baseball bats. They were definitely skilled and experience for sure. We had to ready, just in case they attacked, they weren't going to be easy to take out.

I heard the chains rattling gently and turned around seeing our chained Walkers getting anxious. They were stumbling around and making moaning sounds from behind us.

"Michonne," I said gesturing behind. She turned around and nodded. We were going to be found out if we weren't careful.

The men looked inside the cockpit of the helicopter trying to look for signs of survival. I whipped my head around hearing a Walker stumble right where we were hiding. I reached for my machete but was stopped by a hand on my arm.

"No," Andrea whispered.

"Look." The Walker passed us and came out into the clearing where one of the men near us was holding a machine gun. Another man took it down with a bow and arrow. I turned around seeing the Walkers making more noise in the chains.

"We should show ourselves," Andrea said.

"Not yet." Michonne looked on through the bushes. We could hear groaning coming from the floor where a man was standing over. It must've been the pilot from before, it had turned into a walker. The man took his knife out and in one cold movement drove it into the head twisting it so we could hear the crunch in the skull.

I winced slightly. I know it was a walker, but it was the way he did it. So precise. Cold and calculating. The chained walkers were making audible noise, their feet scraping across the ground which caught the attention of the man wearing sunglasses and holding a gun. He looked around and whipped it out, aiming at the Walkers. The other men saw him and began moving closer to where we were hiding and Andrea was struggling to hold in her coughs. Michonne looked at me then at the chained Walkers and scrunched up her face. She stood up and sliced their heads off in one clean stroke.

I looked at her in initial shock then nodded, these men were going to find us and if they saw us with those Walkers. We would've been screwed. The men were looking in our direction as we held our breath trying to stay calm. After a minute they turned away and walked back towards their jeeps.

"Let's roll out." the man in the kevlar vest said.

I let out a sigh of relief as we relaxed before I heard light rustling from behind me. I pulled out my machete before the man started talking.

"Uh uh uh, easy girl." The man said in a southern accent. Wait. I recognise that voice.

"Mine's a whole lot bigger than yours." He drawled.

"Now put down your weapons." He said as Michonne had her katana raised. I reluctantly lowered my machete on the ground as she dropped her katana.

"Now let me see your hands. And spin around, nice little twirl around." The man said taunting us. I turned around from my bending position as Andrea and Michonne did the same. My jaw dropped open seeing the man standing in front of me.

"H-holy shit!" He smirked looking at me and Andrea.

"Merle?!" I said incredulously.

"Damn," He said looking me up and down.

"You both look good." He smiled looking at me and Andrea.

A walker came at speed but he stabbed a sharp object into it. I took a good look at Merle who was pointing a gun at us in one hand and his other arm seemed to be a weapon with a knife attached to it. I bet that was handy. Michonne looked at him in apprehension as he stood up.

"Well, how's about a kiss for your old pal Merle?" He grinned from ear to ear looking at me. I continued to glare at him and spat at his shoes. Andrea fell to the ground in a thud next to me as me and Michonne rushed over to her.

We were put in the back of the jeep as night fell and we travelled along the highway. Andrea was passed out and it was a good hour before we reached a community which was barricaded. Men were lined up along the top of this as we got out of the cars. The men escorted us through the gate and we walked in. It was an entire community of people living here. It looked like it used to be an old town as we were taken to a building where a doctor and an IV were waiting for Andrea. The door was locked behind us and the room was small containing a bed, some chairs, a desk with a lamp, medical equipment and a woman in scrubs.

"Why are we being held here?" Andrea asked with the thermometer in her mouth. Michonne was sitting with her hands on her forehead and I was trying to figure a way out of this room. But we couldn't leave Andrea. She needed to be healed.

"You know why," The doctor/nurse said.

"We wanna leave." Andrea said firmly. The doctor put her hand on her forearm.

"You should stay the night." She said sympathetically.

"Where are we?" Andrea asked.

"That's not for me to say." She replied looking away.

"He'll talk to you." She said.

"Who?" I asked aggressively.

She didn't have time to answer as the door swung open and in strolled Merle along with some of his men.

"Bet you were wonderin' if I was real or not?" He asked walking in the room.

"We were hoping for not." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Still so cold baby." He smirked.

"Do you wanna lose your other hand?" I asked him standing up. The other men also stood up pushing me back.

"Woah, woah," Merle said.

"There's no need for all that. We have an understanding, don't we Polaris." Merle showed his teeth.

"You want your gorgeous friend Andrea to get better don't ya? So you need me to put in a good word with you for the boss man." He said as I sat back down.

"Thatta girl."

Merle pulled up a chair and sat in front of us.

"Well here I am." He opened his arms out.

"I guess this world get's a little smaller to the end." He chuckled.

"You know when they found me, I was bleeding out, thinking how a bullet might make a good last meal. I'd wait on the other side for Daryl. You seen my brother?" He asked us.

"Not for a long time." Andrea replied and I nodded.

"Makes two of us." Merle's face changed into seriousness.

"He went back for you, him an' Rick. But you were already gone." Andrea said trying to diffuse the tension.

"Yeah, not all of me." Merle laughed pulling out the metal contraption which was covering his arm. A grotesque looking stump with blood was left as Andrea looked away in disgust.

"Yeah Rick, he's that prick that cuffed me to the rooftop." Merle said fixing it back on his arm.

"Watch your fucking mouth." I said dangerously standing up to Merle making him laugh.

"You think it's funny?" I asked him crossing my arms.

"Yeah I do," he chuckled.

"I think it's damn funny that you're holding a torch for officer friendly." He laughed as I resisted the urge to punch him in the face. Again. But I said nothing.

"Daryl wanted to keep looking, but a lot of people died. Jim, Dale, Sophia, Jacqui, Amy." Andrea gulped as I looked down. We had never fully talked about that, we chalked it up to being in the past and moved on.

"Your sister," Merle checked as Andrea nodded her eyes tearing.

"She was a good kid." Merle said decisively.

"I'm sorry to hear it." He said sincerely. Wow. I don't think I had ever heard him being sincere.

"There's more," I said taking over for Andrea as Merle looked to me.

"We had to leave Atlanta, Daryl stepped up and became a valued member of the group." I stated.

"I bet he did." Merle smiled. He cared for his younger brother that's for sure. They were similar yet different in so many ways.

"We had to leave, got run out by a herd. 7/8 months ago." Andrea said. Michonne gave a look saying we shouldn't trust him. Andrea was getting too comfortable talking about everything, Merle was a jackass before but we didn't know this Merle. Therefore we couldn't trust him at all.

"We were separated from the rest of them." I said.

"Got left behind. So I know what it feels like." Andrea added making me look at her.

"They didn't leave us on purpose." I defended as Andrea looked at me.

"Not that it even matters, but the point was they left us behind." She said slightly bitter.

"I doubt that." Merle said holding up his missing arm making Andrea grimace.

"What do you want from us?" I asked hoping he would get to the point.

"Here you sit, four walls around you, roof over your head and medicine in blondie." Merle walked over to us.

"I plucked you, blondie and your mute friend here out of the dirt. Saved your asses. How about a thank you." he said threateningly to us.

"You had a gun on us." Michonne spoke narrowing her eyes.

"Oohh she speaks. Who ain't had a gun on 'em in the past year huh?" Merle asked facing her. Another taller man walked in the room and whispered to Merle.

"How you feeling?" He asked looking at Andrea.

"We want our weapons." Michonne stepped forwards and I tugged on her arm slightly but she shrugged me off.

"Sure, on your way out the front gates." He said stepping towards her. He was the same man who killed the Walker. I looked at him but I saw no signs of warmth, only cold looks. He was not to be trusted.

"Show us the way. You've kept us locked up in this room." Andrea said standing up.

"There's not bars on the windows." He said.

"We're under guard." I stated as he looked at me.

"We don't know you and we need to protect are people. You're not prisoners here, you're guests. If you want to leave you're free to do so." He emphasised walking around towards the door.

"Y'all can leave in the morning, we don't open the gate past dusk." He said firmly.

"We'll give you clothes, ammunition, food, even keys to a vehicle if you want." He said walking out of the room.

Andrea, Michonne and I looked at each other in surprise.

"I don't trust him."

 **A/N: What did you guys think? I'm sorry for the lack of Rick and Lori and the others in this chapter but remember she won't be seeing them for a bit. I promise it's worth the wait though. So introduction to the governor, I decided to end the chapter here because otherwise it was getting really long.**


	17. Chapter 17 - Safe?

**A/N: Heyy, happy Friday everyone! Got another chapter for you guys right here. picking up where we left off in Woodbury and where we met the governor, those 3 are going to see how life is like here and there will be some disagreements. I have an idea I'm going to try in this chapter where I have sections of third person Rick POV. Do you guys think you would like that in future chapters? Particularly when they're not in scene together, like now when Rick and the group are at the prison and when we get to season 4 in terminus? Let me know in the reviews if you think it works and you want more of it.**

 **Thanks to everyone who reads and supports my story! Thanks to Jeaniegirl1999 who's just favourited and my lovely reviewers:**

 **Ryane: Haha xD, your wish is my command, A new chapter coming up for you right here! I was going to write more for this chapter but I was so tired last night I just stopped it there.**

 **JasminJW: I guess Merle was a character I loved to hate. Honestly every time he appears in a scene I just want Pol to shoot him xD.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking dead or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

The man left the room as we got up and followed him wordlessly. He opened the doors to a big house as we stepped outside into the night. He turned around to face us, hands on his hips.

"Welcome to Woodbury," He smirked.

We looked around into the street as there were multiple buildings lined by fire burning, acting as lamp-posts. Andrea looked around in wonder as I was curious by how they managed to thrive. Michonne was hanging back with her arms crossed over scanning the area.

"Come with me." The man said walking down the stairs and into the garden to go into the street.

Michonne wrapped her hand around Andrea's arm helping her walk down the steps as I walked behind them with Merle close behind me.

"Impressed yet?" Merle said coming up beside me. I looked around in apprehension. I sure as hell didn't trust this guy, no matter who sort of community he's build. And Merle. Merle did whatever was right for Merle.

We walked down the quiet street and past the gate which was made out of wooden planks and countless number of tyres. It looked stable. Merle climbed the ladder to the top of the lookout on the gate as we followed the man to the front.

"Are you military?" Andrea asked the man who smiled.

"Hardly," he chuckled.

"Couple of feds but we're mainly self-trained." He explained. I stood next to Michonne behind Andrea.

"We should leave in the morning." I whispered. Once we had what we needed we should disappear from this place. She nodded her head in agreement.

"That's heavy artillery." I said as the man turned around to face me.

"Ah British, most of the weapons were scavenged and a few we had when the outbreak began." he said.

"Things got bad back in the UK?" He asked.

"I wouldn't know, I haven't been there in a while." I answered and he nodded.

"As far as we know, things are bad worldwide. Unless you know something we don't?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"No, of course not." He chuckled.

"The other side of town and the streets, they're all guarded like this?" Andrea asked disbelievingly.

"Can't be," She scoffed when he nodded.

"They are." He said proudly.

"Got us a creeper governor," Merle said loading the crossbow over the gate.

"Governor?" I asked trying not to laugh.

"They actually call you that?" He looked unamused and focused on Merle standing on the gate.

"Some nicknames stick whether you want 'em to or not." He said. The man on the gate switched on a floodlight and focused it out onto the other side of the gate. Merle shot three arrows out into the darkness then turned back grinning.

"We'll move the bodies in the morning. It's the smell, makes people uneasy." The governor said.

"What people? This is a ghost town." Andrea stated looking at him.

He smirked and wordlessly turned around walking down a street. We came to a house as he lead us inside taking us to a room. He unlocked the door and switched on the light as the 3 of us stood in the doorway looking in the room with longing and shock. There was a large king sized bed on one side, with wardrobes, tables, carpet floor and another door presumably leading to the bathroom.

"This is-" Andrea began.

"Luxury," I sighed. I didn't care if I didn't trust him I just hadn't had a shower in so long or a bed to sleep on. The table was full of variety of snacks along with endless bottles of water and I could feel my mouth watering.

"We got food, water, fresh clothes. Hope this works." He said standing on one side. I pushed past Michonne slightly and walking into the room sitting on the bed. I laid back with my feet dangling off the edge and closed my eyes sighing.

"This will definitely work." I said in content. I sat up and saw the new clothes on the side. Feeling them they were soft to touch and smelled great. There was a sofa to one side with a blanket. Michonne walked in the room and went over to the sofa whilst Andrea sat on the bad next to me.

"I know you'd feel more secure with your sword." The governor said to Michonne.

"If you're giving us all this," I leaned on my knees.

"Why are you withholding our weapons from us?" I asked him.

"As I said before, I need to ensure my people's safety." He said.

"What about our safety?" I interjected raising my eyebrows at him.

"You don't know us, that's fair enough but we also don't know you. How do we know we can trust you?" Andrea tugged on my arm gently giving me a look to tell me to ease up.

"You don't." He chuckled.

"In a world like this you're gonna have to go on a little faith." He said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Tried that. Didn't work." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You're safe here." He said looking at me and Michonne. She turned around from holding the blanket and shot him a look. The atmosphere around us was tense slightly until Andrea spoke.

"We appreciate it." Andrea said smiling slightly.

"What about the pilot, from the helicopter? Will they make it?" She asked.

"Dr Stevens is doing all she can. Now I know you got a lot of questions," The governor said standing in the doorway.

"But I got work to do. My man will be outside the doorway if you need anything else." He pointed to the man outside the other door standing with a gun.

"I'm sure he will," I muttered under my breath.

"Thank you," I said as he nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

He left the room and walked out of the hallway. Michonne slammed the door shut giving us both a look.

"What?" I asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"You said yourself, we're only staying the night. So we may as well enjoy it. Dibs on the shower!" I said running towards the bathroom.

Rick's POV

Rick slid down against the concrete wall tucking his knees towards his chest. He looked up to the ceiling of the prison and sighed. Rubbing his hands in his face he brought them down, blue eyes studying them. They were covered in dirt and grime along with blood. It had been a good 9 months since he had taken a shower so only God knew how much odour he was giving off.

The prison would act as a good fortification for them, if they defended it well. He had faith in his group, they turned from people who were scared out searching for a girl, to an effective team that defended and protected each other. But it was a bit distant and cold between Rick and some of the other members of the group, since he had asserted his authority. They had already lost so many members of their group. Hershel had lost Patricia and Jimmy back at the farm. Amy. Jacqui. Jim. Dale. Shane.

He was proud of Carl. He picked up the skills to survive quickly with the group and protected them well. Lori was 9 months pregnant with a baby. A baby that might not even be his, but regardless he would love that son/daughter like they're were his own. He missed his wife, he missed talking to her, laying with her, spending time with her. But he knew something changed between them. They were no longer close and he couldn't help but feel like that was his fault.

It had been a long day of clearing out the Walkers from the prison and discovering this group of survivor inmates. Hershel had lost his leg, another sacrifice from someone in his group. Rick looked around the dirty prison which was not appealing in the slightest. But it was safe. His family could be safe here for a while. Even if not all of them made it. Like Polaris.

Pol. He felt something inside his chest when he thought of her and it had been a while since that. Where was she? Was she even alive? And even if she was, did she know he was alive? Did she still think of him? Rick had faith that Polaris was definitely alive. But after being on the road for so long he was starting to doubt that. She promised she would come back. Rick clenched his fists. But she didn't. Maybe she left again. Maybe she died. Or maybe she found happiness with someone else.

"Rick," He looked up to the perch where Daryl was standing at the top of the stairs.

"Ya alright?" Daryl asked holding his crossbow.

"Yeah," He said brushing the dust off and standing up. He couldn't waste any more time thinking of her.

"I am."

End of Rick's POV

Me and Andrea took the bed last night with Michonne sleeping on the sofa. That was the best night's sleep I had in over 9 months. We woke up the next morning, got changed into new clothes, letting me finally get out of the dirty jeans. There was a plain black t shirt with black trousers.

I smiled. No jeans. Yes! After changing we ate some of the fruit and food we had left on the table. Last night I swore the water turned black by the time I scrubbed all the dirt of me but I was feeling fresh this morning. I looked in the mirror and saw I no longer had the chubbiness in my face. My hair was to my shoulders and my arms were more muscular. We were escorted by a woman out of the house and lead down the street which was buzzing with activity.

"You guys were out there a long time huh?" The woman looked back to us and smiled. She was wearing a summer dress with boots and had short black hair with a clipboard in one hand.

"How many people do you have here?" I asked her.

"73," She replied waving to people that passed. In the middle of the road looked like a farmer's market as everyone helped pull their weight. This looked like a proper community.

"But Ellie's about to pop, that'll make it 74. Still a work of progress, but Rome wasn't built in a day." The woman smiled.

I walked next to Michonne as we apprehensively looked towards the gate. These people had absolutely no idea what was just beyond those walls, lying in wait for them. Were they even aware of the gravity of the situation?

"Walls haven't been breached for over a month, we haven't suffered casualties since early winter." The woman said proudly.

"How is that possible?" Andrea asked. We looked over to the other side of the road to see rows of cardboard boxes with various plants and vegetables being grown inside them and people trading with each other.

"Our governor has a strict curfew. No one out after dark." The woman said leading us up the hilled road.

"Armed guards on the fence and guys patrolling the perimeter to keep the biters away." She explained.

"Saw what your patrols did the other night." I piped up from behind them.

"They had a dead one strung up like an ornament." I scoffed.

"I won't make excuses, those men put their lives on the line every day for this town. They've lost more than a few friends out there, everyone copes in their own way." She said to us.

"Everyone has lost someone." I said frustrated.

"When you're out there it can be lonely, sad, frustrating and not knowing whether you'll make it day to day. This town you're living in, is a fairy tale." I stormed away from Michonne, Andrea and the woman feeling angry. I rounded a corner and stomped away trying to find the governor.

"Hey!" I turned around and saw Michonne jogging to catch up to me. I stopped walking and waited for her.

"I know you're angry. And I know why." She stated.

"We were just staying the night. We'll be gone." Michonne said looking around.

"It's morning now, Andrea's feeling a lot better. We should go now while we can. I don't trust this governor guy okay, no matter how much of a community he's built. This is fantasy not reality." I said firmly.

"I know. And I get that. But we gotta keep it together, make sure Andrea's fully recovered and then get on the road. But we have to consider the fact this might be where Andrea wants to stay." Michonne said.

We started walking back where we met Andrea along the way.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Andrea asked.

"For a walk." I said stiffly.

"The governor's invited us for lunch." She said brightly as Michonne stayed silent.

"Oh great." I said sarcastically.

"Pol, he took us into his community, gave us a place to stay, food, clothes and security. We should at least be grateful." Andrea rolled her eyes walking off.

"And I am." I called out from behind her.

"But you've got to realise we're not staying." I said crossing my arms.

"Says who?" Andrea said.

"Andrea," I began looking at her disbelievingly.

"The minute you're better, we leave. We can't trust them." I said.

"Michonne back me up." I said looking to her as she raised her eyebrows.

"I agree with both of you. I'm not staying we have to stay forever but maybe just another day or the next few hours at least. Can you both handle that?" She asked looking between us.

"Fine but I don't trust him." I said decisively.

"What's the matter with you? He opened his home to us." Andrea said getting annoyed.

"I can't believe you're defending him." I scoffed at her.

"You shot my sister when you first got to camp but I still trust you." Andrea said. My mouth hung open slightly and I felt hurt by her comment.

"Pol wait!" She called out.

"I'll see you at lunch!" I said angrily.

Me, Andrea, Michonne and another man were sitting at a table which had place settings and glasses as the governor was making food over the fire. The air was awkward between me and Andrea as we sat next to each other at the table. The other man could feel the tension as he did not make a single comment. It really hurt what she said, I thought we had gotten past it but she brought it up again. I felt insane guilt in the pit of my stomach and actually found myself wanting to talk to Daryl. I wonder if he was still the same person. Daryl was a great listener, partially because he didn't actually talk much, but sometimes the front would crack and you'd get an insight into the real Daryl.

It was up to the Governor to break the tension in the room.

"So, 8 months, just the three of you?" He asked bringing over a pan he was stirring food in.

"Hard to believe you ladies lasted so long out there," The Governor smirked.

"Why because we're women?" Andrea challenged him.

"Must be for a man like you," I said twirling the butter knife in my fingers making a point to him.

"What does that mean?" He said putting food into my plate.

"Thank you. It means, you're used to being the alpha male, not having your authority questioned, having everything run smoothly. To put it short: you've got your shit." I stated as he smiled.

"And us answering back to you or demanding we have our weapons back and leave, well I bet that doesn't sit right with you." I smiled sweetly at him. I felt a leg nudge mine harshly and looked over to Andrea who was giving me a look.

I shot her a glare and ignored her, the Governor took no notice and laughed good naturedly.

"I meant because you were alone." He said.

"We had each other." I shrugged and began eating the food on my plate.

"Three of you against the world. Crazy odds." The Governor said as he served everyone food.

"We managed." Andrea smiled at him.

"Oh I'm impressed." he replied.

"Survival on the ground is tough shit. Waking up everyday wondering if today's the day. Will it be quick and final? Or slow and painful?" He commented putting the pan into the sink on the other side of the kitchen.

I looked at Michonne who's attention was directed to the shelf. I nudged her foot and she looked at me then back at the shelf. Her sword was up there, as was Andrea's gun. My knife was there. I could see my colt with the engraved P, hung behind objects as if it was a mantelpiece. As if it wasn't going anywhere.

"Do you think they remember anything? The person they once were?" The man wearing the glasses opposite us asked.

"I don't think about it." Andrea shrugged putting food in her mouth.

"Milton believes there might be a trace of the person they were, somewhere inside." The Governor spoke to Andrea.

"You believe that?" I interjected. Milton poured tea into our cups as I took a long sip, savouring the taste. I had been a good year or two since I last had this. It tasted good.

"Surely it must've crossed your mind?" Milton asked.

"Maybe once, until they tried to bite me." I chuckled.

We finished lunch in relative silence with Andrea sneaking glances at the governor every so often. I looked at Michonne who uncomfortably ate her food, I know she feels the same. Are we safe? My gut was telling me no, and past experiences always told me that I should listen to it. We finished up our food as the Governor answered a knock on the door.

"Sorry, I have to cut lunch short, something's come up." He said continuing the domestic attitude.

"We want our weapons." Michonne stood up assertively. I stood by her side, she was feeling just as uneasy as I was.

"Well you can make these meals to go and your weapons will be waiting for you outside. But you should take time to relax, get your strength back. Hell, even look around. Who knows, you might like what you say." He said his gaze fixed on Andrea.

We shut the door behind the building and walked down the street close together.

"I'm gonna say it again. I don't trust him." I said walking by Michonne with Andrea in front.

"I agree." She said looking at one of the Governor's men who was eyeing us curiously.

"Why? Look just give it a day or two, that's all I'm askin'." Andrea said turning around shaking her head at us.

"He's not planning to give our weapons back anytime soon." Michonne said sourly.

"7/8 months with you Michonne and I feel like we hardly know you." Andrea said as she stopped walking.

"You know enough." Michonne said startled.

"Some things that happen, remain in the past. And you can't change them no matter what." I directed the statement at Andrea.

"Have you ever trusted anybody?" Andrea turned around to face us ignoring my last comment.

"One too many times." I replied.

"Yeah," Michonne said.

"We have time to get our shit together," She said shrugging feeling far too relaxed in the community.

"Our shit never stopped being together, get your head out of your ass and look around." I snapped.

"Pol," Michonne put her hand on my arm but I shrugged her off.

"What exactly do you want me to do?" Andrea asked putting her hands on her hips.

"Look Andrea. I want you to look." I said walking back to the house we stayed in.

I ignored the guards trying to stop me and went back to the room we were staying in. I took one of the blankets and folded it along with spare clothes which were in the cupboard, extra water bottles, and the food that was on the table. Now I just needed to get my weapons. I kept the backpack hidden under the bed and walked back out smiling at the guard.

"Just needed to freshen up." I grinned at him as he nodded and walked out of the building. Keeping low along the street, I checked to see the building the Governor was in and went inside. There were 2 armed guards in front of the door where we ate lunch with him.

"Hi, I had lunch in here today with the Governor and I dropped my necklace, do you think I could get in here and find it?" I asked the guards innocently who looked to each other.

"Sorry ma'am, we can't let you in there. You'll have to wait for him to come back." One of the men said.

"Oh, it's just. Well I left my necklace in there, this necklace was the last thing left I have of my mother since the outbreak." I made my eyes downcast and looked up seeing them whisper to each other.

"Please," I said coming up to the man and batting my eyelids. Man this is not going to work.

"Alright," He sighed opening the door.

"But you'll have to be quick." I wrapped my arms around the guard and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek where they turned a rosy pink colour. One of the guards followed me into the room and stood at the doorway as I found my gun and knife. I couldn't take it when he was watching me.

"Oh do you mind helping, I think I dropped it near the sink." I suggested as he turned his back to me to look. I quickly took the knife and gun off the shelf and tucked them into my trousers hoping I wouldn't get stabbed and shot in the process. I stared at Michonne's katana and realised there was no way I would be able to sneak that out of the building without getting caught. I quickly turned around and bent over the table trying to find it.

"Any luck?" The guard shook his head and turned around.

"I really can't have you in here for long," he said uneasily.

"No worries I'll come back later!" I said brightly leaving the building.

Finding my way back towards the house we slept in, I passed by the woman who showed us around with the clipboard.

"Hey! Anna right?" I asked tugging her arm as she pursed her lips.

"I'm sorry, about getting angry earlier I was just tense." I chuckled and looked at her until she broke out smiling.

"Oh no worries! What can I do for you?" She asked.

"I was wondering if you had a map, of the surrounding area?" I asked.

"I think so, what do you want that for?" She said curiously.

"Oh well I want to see how far I travelled since my last place, it give me comfort keeping track of it." I lied smiling at her. She took out a piece of paper from her clipboard and handed it to me.

"Thank you! Where can I find you to give it back to you?" I asked her keeping up the pretence.

"I'll be over by the vegetables over here." She smiled waving. I tucked the map inside my jacket pocket and walked faster to the house keeping a calm and level head. I don't know where Andrea and Michonne were but I wanted to say goodbye to them before I left. It was sad that they weren't willing to leave just yet, we had been together for long, surviving and defending each other.

I sat on the bed with the map and looked within a 50 mile radius of Woodbury to see any major fortifications. There was a factory about 25 miles away from the town, but it seemed to be surrounded by swamp or a marsh type of area. Within the radius there was no major development or building. There were towns but those were likely to be ghost towns. Just outside the radius I drew, about 60 miles away was a prison. Huh.

It was some distance from where Atlanta was marked but it was possible Rick and the group would go there if they were smart. A prison would have strong defences, well protected, food, supplies, weapons maybe even cars. But it could also be completely overrun. And even if they weren't there, I could stay there and keep looking for them, they had to be alive. They just had to be.

I waited for a while for either Michonne or Andrea to come back but they didn't. I could not wait any longer without arousing suspicion. I looked outside the window of the house and saw we were on a bottom floor. Thank god. I opened the window quietly and poked my head outside looking for any of the guards. Dumping my pack out on the grass I climbed out holding it behind my back. Now how was I going to make it out.

I walked behind the houses and stayed in the alleyways of the town hoping to look for a pothole. There was no way of sneaking out of the front gate, they were too well guarded. I found a manhole cover along one alleyway which also had large dumpster bins. It was near the edge of the town boundary, if I followed it, the likely chance was I'd manage to get out.

I'm coming. I'm coming Rick.

 **A/N: Yess She's off to get her man! Thanks for reading! What did you guys think? did Rick's POV work? or nah? Will hopefully post the next chapter tomorrow**


	18. Chapter 18 - Going My Own May

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry I've been so irregular with my uploading but I'm going to try and get back in the rhythm of it now. I hope you guys are ready because it's reunion time!**

 **Thanks to everyone supporting and reading my story including Epicvibes, melspringer and DaisyMae16 who are now following! you guys are awesome. Also to my lovely reviewers:**

 **JasminJW: It's happening in this chapter! Enjoy!**

 **Ryane: haha wow that sounds like a very eventful trip! I've been in the house for the last two weeks lol. Aww thank you I'm glad you enjoyed Rick's POV, I'll play around with it in more chapters. Yeah Rick definitely has a thing for her, and as we know they've already kissed twice but he's also conflicted because pregnant wife. The reunion is happening hehe..**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or any affiliated characters or storyline, only my OC and plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

Once I got clear of the town perimeter which involved sneaking around and hiding behind battered vehicles and behind tree trunks, I took out the map from my trousers.

Unfolding the map, I saw the route I had marked to the prison. It also cut across the factory so I had an advantage checking there for the possibility that the group made it there. It seemed like an altogether 60 mile journey to the prison which would take days if I didn't manage to find a car. So hopefully, they took refuge at the factory.

The route followed the highway which ran all the way to the prison. But soon enough they would discover I was gone so I needed to disappear.

On one side of the highway was a thick woodland area, the other side was a series of open fields with green grass and stray Walkers looking for their next meal. The highway was relatively clear as far as I could see suggesting it was a route the governor and his men took often.

At least today I aimed to get to the factory. But that means no stopping for rest and eating on the road whilst walking. So having to pay extra attention to keeping my guard up. I had plenty of food I swiped from Woodbury and water bottles I hope would last me for a few days. With Andrea and Michonne we found a way to drink river water by filtering it out using cloth them boiling it so it was safe to drink.

Walking for a few hours and eating on the road, I was exhausted and completely bored because I had no one to talk to, but nevertheless I reached the factory site. Or what was left of it.

There was a boggy lake surrounding it with dead Walkers growling in the water. It was desolate and nature had decided to regrow over the main building as it was covered in dark green growth.

I walked up to the pier staying clear of the edges and looked around as the fog settled in. I looked around for a place to build a fire and camp but the trees before the lake provided absolutely no cover and I was exposed.

"Shit," I muttered. I heard growling in the distance and pulled my knife out of my belt turning around towards the trees.

What was left of a female walker came stumbling out with half a face and the other half had all the under flesh and bone visible.

"Hello beautiful," I walked up to it and thrusted my knife into its skull, it fell to the ground with a sickening crunch. The sky was covered in clouds but it was getting darker, I couldn't stay out here much longer.

I walked tentatively around the lake trying to deduce another way into the building which I'm sure was also Walker infested. But the marsh water surrounded the entire circumference. I had to think quickly before night completely fell and I was fucked.

Coming back to the place I had killed the Walker I spotted a small wooden canoe just hidden of the side of the pier. Smiling I rushed over to it, my boots making a large clanking noise on the pier and slowly leaned over. Inside was an oar. I looked up seeing the fog get thicker, soon I would not be able to see the factory. Quietly placing the back inside the side of the canoe, I got in as quietly as possible trying not to attract the attention of the Walkers in the lake.

I had only went canoeing once for 6 weeks when I was about 16 and that was with a partner with two oars. This only had one. I kept the knife in my belt so it was easily accessible and climbed inside the small boat as it creaked slightly in the water. Pushing off from the side of the pier I used the oar to steer towards the factory building, avoiding the condensed sea of Walkers to the middle.

Honestly I was shitting myself and I wished I had Michonne with me, she would know exactly what to do. The canoe cut through the water as it began drifting to the Walkers.

"No, no, no." I said panicking trying to row away but it was too late, I had drifted into Walker territory.

A Walker came out of the water and grabbed the right hand side of the boat making me scream. I pushed the canoe into its head as it disappeared under water. I made larger strokes with the oar as the smell of decaying flesh hit my nose when a hand grabbed onto my wrist. The Walker was snarling and moaning trying to pull me over the side, I took the knife and stabbed its fingers also cutting my wrist in the process. The cut was deeper than I anticipated and I tore a strip from my T-shirt wrapping it and continued paddling.

The altercation with the Walkers attracted more to my boat as I was surrounded. Slicing and stabbing my way through whilst also trying to row I got to the pier and jumped on. I took the boat and lifted it up out of the water but it was being pulled back down.

"Let go you shitheads!" I shouted.

To anyone else I'm sure the scene was amusing, a small woman pulling a canoe away from 5 Walkers who were stronger and hungrier. Well. Debatable. From constant pulling I felt my arms sore as if they were going to be pulled out of my sockets but somehow I managed to pull the canoe onto the pier and drag it down to the mainland. I took the knife out and held it in the darkness awaiting any Walkers that decided to attack me here.

I flopped down on the ground completely exhausted with my back to the factory building. After a few minutes I got up again and looked at the looming building. The door was chained up with a padlock and the glass windows were intact. There were bricks on the side which I used to smash open the windows clearing the sharp shards and climbing into the ground floor of the building.

I looked around and saw dead bodies littered across the floor with heavy machinery and an assembly line that hadn't been used for years.

They aren't here. I sighed sadly. They would've cleared this out if they were using this space, the door I was in was also bolted shut so the only way in and out was through the broken window. Laying out the blanket on the floor in one corner which was well hidden, I curled up and closed my eyes, not caring for once if a Walker decided to eat me while I slept.

—

I woke up cracking an eyelid open to see the sun streaming in through the window and heat the otherwise desolate factory. I looked around and saw everything was intact, the assembly line and machinery in the room remained as it was, no Walkers had made their way inside, the same number of dead bodies painted the floor.

I sat up and stretched feeling my back ache from sleeping on the hard ground, even with the blanket it didn't make much of a difference. From where the sun was in the sky I deduced it had to be before midday, some point in the morning. I opened the pack and looked at the packet of peanuts.

"Peanuts for breakfast." I said to myself opening the packet and enjoying this luxury food I hadn't eaten in a while. But downside. It makes you super thirsty. Trying not to finish all of my water bottle in one go, I drank generous amounts of water before putting it away.

Packing all of my gear I swung the pack onto my shoulders and pulled out my knife. I climbed over the broken window and looked around, the sun hitting my face. I looked at the pier seeing the canoe still safe with the oar on the edge and smiled.

There was no way I was going to be able to walk to the prison today so I needed to find a car. I could go back to Woodbury and steal one of the cars outside their walls, but that was too risky and time consuming. I'd have to risk it out here. I looked around and saw the Walkers were no longer on this side of the lake. I heard faint growling in the distance, suggesting they were on the other side. There's no way I'm that lucky. I looked over the water and saw the path was clear. I'm not going to question it.

I pushed the canoe off the pier with one hand but gripped the edge keeping it close by until it fell in the water. I put my pack in then sat myself and began rowing. Trying to keep quiet I kept an eye out for any Walkers who decided I was their next meal.

Making it to the other side, I got out of the boat with my things and walked off into the forest area. Five minutes later I was on the other side and back on the highway. It was definitely a hot day today. I took my jacket off and kept it over my head trying to stop my neck and face from burning with the sun.

I pulled out the map and reached the main highway which had more car lanes and was more exposed. The other side were smaller roads but I had no idea how to navigate them and it would just add more days to my journey. Deciding to risk it I walked along the side of the highway.

A few hours in I was still along the highway but no idea how close I was to the prison. I was just about to stop for lunch when I came across a bunch of old cars stuck on the side. Yes! One of them could work. I ran towards the nearest car which was a black BMW.

"Oh ho, no way!" I laughed gleefully. I opened the door and a decayed body was sitting there unmoving.

"I'm sorry, that's disgusting." I winced shoving it out of the car. I put my pack onto the passenger seat and began looking in the glove compartment for keys. But no luck.

"There's no way I'm going to find another car like this." I groaned. I looked under the steering wheel and saw some wires had already been pulled out. I didn't need to hotwire the car, some poor bastard already stole it before me. Closing the door, I tried connecting the wires together a few times as the car engine spluttered.

"Please work," I pleaded with the car. I tried harder this time and the engine roared into life making me laugh.

I looked at the car which had a manual gearbox. I hadn't driven in a couple years but hopefully the driving lessons were still there somewhere in my mind. I took off the rag on my left wrist covering the cut and saw it was nearly healed. Thank god. Otherwise I might have had to learn how to stitch up injuries myself.

I managed to get the car moving and was driving down the highway slowly at first looking at the map. Keeping it on the dash board, I took a CD out of my pack and put it into the CD player. I kept the volume high, rolled down the windows and drove like a maniac, singing and feeling the adrenaline rush.

Within an hour of driving I was almost at the prison after almost taking the wrong junction and getting lost, I turned onto the road where the prison was and parked the car hidden from view just in case I needed a quick getaway. It must've been midday by now and I followed the map, cutting through the forest I came out to a long metal fence with barbed wire. Looking through I found guard towers and the main prison building.

I had made it. Now I could only hope they were there.

Trying to look through I couldn't see anything but I did hear cars being moved around. I hid back behind the trees just in case there were any unsavoury characters lurking around. Before I could react, three Walkers pushed me out of the trees and onto the ground in front of the fence. I tried to reach for my knife and kick them off me but they were clawing through my clothes. I kicked one away, and got out my knife in time to stab the other one in the face pushing it off. The third one pushed the knife out of my hand.

I was trapped this is how I was going to die. I tried to push my face out of the direction of it's teeth and put my hand on it's neck feeling the rotting flesh. It's teeth were going for my neck before I heard a strange sound and the Walker stopped groaning and lay unmoving on top of me. A green tipped arrow was embedded on the top of it. Pushing the Walker off I reached for my knife ready to attack whoever was behind me.

"Don't," They called out. Wait, I recognise that voice. I smiled to myself knowing exactly who it was.

"Put your hands up an' turn 'round. Real slow." I turned around slowly and found myself face to face with a slightly longer haired Daryl Dixon.

He slowly dropped the crossbow in shock and slung it over his back.

"Pol?" He asked incredulously and I nodded walking over to him slowly. He closed the distance, towering over me and engulfed me in a hug as I patted his back.

"I told you one day, you'd be the first to hug me." I grinned pulling away.

"Shut up," He grunted.

"But how? We thought you were dead." He stated.

"It'll take a lot more than some Walkers to kill me Dixon." I smiled picking up the knife from the ground and putting it back in my belt.

"You're a tough bitch." He said. Coming from Daryl that was a compliment. He ruffled my hair as I ducked away.

"How are the others?" I asked.

"Are they-"

"They're all alive. Rick's good too." He said.

"I didn't ask about Rick specifically." I said raising an eyebrow.

"I know, I thought you might want to know." Daryl smirked making me punch him in the back.

"Where you been?" Daryl asked as he began leading me over towards the fence.

"Where have YOU been?" I asked.

"I'll tell you all about it. Daryl, wait." I reached out an arm and pulled him back as he turned around.

"What?"

"I drove here and hid the car a few minutes away, can we get it?" Daryl nodded and followed me as I led him over to the BMW. Daryl whistled looking around at the car which I had parked just off to the side, in front of the woods.

"Nice right?" I said appraisingly admiring the car.

"You tell anyone about that hug, I'll sh-"

"Yeah Daryl I know, you'll shoot me." I mocked him.

We drove the car over to the front gate of the prison where I saw some of the group coming towards us with guns. Daryl jumped out of the car and put his hands out calling out to them.

"It's alright! Got someone here." Daryl shouted, his face morphing into a smirk. I popped my head out of the car and saw Rick, Glenn, T-Dog and Carol's faces morph into grins and shocks.

"You mind opening?" I asked as Rick shook his head disbelievingly. He opened the gate and I drove in past them, putting the cars where the other cars seemed to have parked.

Not ten seconds after closing the car door and retrieving my pack from the passenger seat I was picked up into a hug from Rick.

"Rick," I sighed wrapping my arms around his waist. He put my back down on the ground and stroked my hair.

"I thought you were dead," His voice said shakily.

"I thought you might have been alive but, I wasn't sure." He said pulling back.

I took a good look at him, he was wearing a grey T-shirt, old black trousers and his cowboy boots he had since the day I had met him. His hair had grown out and was slightly curly and he was now sporting a full beard on his face. I had to admit, he had looked even better than before. His intense blue eyes, were still blue but he had more lines around his face. They had been through a lot. He looked stressed.

"Why didn't you come back?" He asked letting go of me.

"I tried to, me and Andrea we were fighting the Walkers, and we saw your car drive off." I said seeing Rick's face fall.

"But it's not your fault! Please don't feel guilty, I made my choices and you didn't know." I reached out and touched his forearm.

"Rick," I said gently putting my hand on his cheek as he looked up to me nodding.

"Think you can manage a smile?" I asked trying to look at his face.

"I'm glad you're safe." He smiled this time making me smile.

"There you go sheriff Grimes." I grinned.

"Pol!" I looked behind and saw Glenn walking over with a grin.

"Glenn," I opened my arms smiling and hugged him looking at Rick over his shoulder he gave me a wide grin.

"I can't believe you're here!" He said stepping back.

"Neither can I." I shook my head. Carol came over along with Daryl and smiled at her wrapping me in a hug.

"I'm so glad you're okay," She said squeezing my back.

"You do stink though," She said scrunching up her nose.

"That's what you get from being covered in Walker blood." I shrugged making the others laugh.

"Is that your car?" Glenn's eyes widened at the black BMW.

"Yep," I grinned patting the hood of the car.

"How is it we found the shitty cars but you get the nice one?" He complained eyeing the car behind me.

"I guess I'm just lucky." I shrugged.

"Come on, let's get you inside," Rick said throwing an arm around my shoulder, leading me inside the prison.

"It's me!" Rick shouted as we walked into the cell block marked D. I walked in seeing rows of cells with doors open and sheets hung up inside a few. There were packs and weapons lying around. From what I had seen, there was a cafeteria which had food and medical supplies, they had also found weapons nearby.

Carl, Beth and Maggie came out of their jail cells and stopped walking as soon as they saw me.

"Pol!" Carl said walking over to me with a large smile on his face and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Hey," I chuckled looking at Carl.

"You grew," I said as we were almost eye to eye with each other. I looked at his belt and saw there was a gun and knife hanging there.

"Look at you big defender of the group huh," I grinned.

"He is, he's done a lot." Rick said from behind me hands on my hips.

"I didn't know if you were coming back," Carl said standing to face me. I looked at him and saw a mini version of Rick.

"Yeah, neither did I." I said.

"How did you find us?" He asked eagerly.

"I'll tell you all about it kid, later." I said patting his shoulder.

"Look I kept it safe for you." He said holding the constellation necklace I had given him when I left the farm. He began taking it off before I stopped him.

"I think it looks better on you."

"Really?"

"Really," I smiled. I walked past Carl to Maggie and Beth who were standing there.

"Hi," I said awkwardly remembering how we had left things badly between us. Maggie was the first to break the silence as she stepped forward with her hand out.

"Hey, fresh start?" She asked as I shook her hand smiling.

"Fresh start," I agreed. I looked at Beth who gave me a quick hug then disappeared back inside the jail cell.

"You weren't gonna get away without saying hi to me, were ya?" I looked at the far end and saw a very pregnant looking Lori standing there with her hands on her hips. I grinned and walked quickly over to her, hugging her as best as I could without hurting her.

"I'm so glad you're here." She said rubbing my back.

"I've missed you, missed talking to you." I said sheepishly.

"Same here." She said smiling.

"So, wow," I said looking at her pregnant body.

"When are you due?"

"Any day now, Hershel says." Lori said.

"How's it been?" I asked.

"You guys must've been on the road a lot." I stated.

"It's been hard but we, we managed." Lori said shooting a look over to Rick who met her eyes briefly then turned away.

"Everything's alright?" I asked her searching her eyes.

"Yeah," She nodded smiling.

"Get settled in then we can all talk," she said patting my shoulder then going inside her cell. Carol gave me a smile before following Lori inside.

"You should get your rest." I looked around as Rick stood behind me.

"I've had enough rest," I waved a hand dismissively..

"What about a shower?" He asked.

"Are you saying I stink, Rick Grimes?" I said mock offended.

"Yeah I am," He smirked at me.

"How dare you, first of all I had a shower the day before yesterday," I said making Rick raise his eyebrows.

"I'll tell you guys about it." I said seeing his response.

"So which cell is mine?" I asked pointing to the row of cells.

"Well take your pick." he said.

"You can have this one, it's right next to mine." he stated pointing to the one at the end. I looked at him.

"B-because in case you need anything, I'm right next door." He defended.

"Okay, this one it is!"

"Holler if you need anything." Rick said as I disappeared inside the cell. There was a double bunk-bed with a toilet and sink. I dropped my pack on the top bunk and kicked off my boots lying down on the bottom bed. I closed my eyes and curled up feeling inexplicably tired.

Waking up after a few hours, Carol had taken my dirty clothes with the promise of cleaning them and shown me to the prison showers. I washed up and she brought me back to the prison block all clean and fresh.

"Well, you smell a damn sight better." Daryl walked down the stair from his perch and sniffed near me as I swatted him away from me.

"Very funny," I deadpanned.

"Let's eat," Rick said as we gathered around outside the cell doors in the centre of the cell block where we started a bin fire. Daryl had hunted some squirrels which were now being roasted over it.

Hershel came out with a stick supporting himself and Maggie on the other side, and I noticed he had a leg missing.

"Polaris," He said nodding to me even giving me a small smile.

"Hershel," I smiled.

"What happened to your leg?" I asked staring at the stump.

"Got bit. Rick cut it off, saved my life." He looked at Rick appreciatively who nodded at him smiling slightly.

I looked at Rick impressed but his smile didn't meet his eyes.

"So wanna tell us where you been this whole time?" Rick sat down opposite the fire.

I launched into the story of me and Andrea fighting the Walkers on the farm after everybody had left and how we met Michonne all the way up to Woodbury including the Governor and Merle right up to the point I left and came to the prison.

"Merle's alive?" Daryl's interest perked up.

"Where? Woodbury?" He asked.

"Let's go get 'im." He stated standing up before Rick but a hand up to stop him. Everyone around the fire was giving each other uneasy looks.

"Not yet." Rick said firmly staring down Daryl.

"Yo, that's my brother, you left him there on that rooftop back in Atlanta, don't 'pect me to wait here and do nothing." Daryl said angrily going up to Rick.

"Woah, Daryl." I turned his attention to me.

"I think Rick just means, we should make a plan, before we do anything." I said as Daryl sat down calmly staring into the fire.

"Sounds like you had quite the journey," Rick said eating food.

"Yeah, it was crazy. I'm glad I found you guys again." I smiled at the group.

Rick told the story of what had happened once they escaped the Greene family farm and how they stayed in the forests, scavenging from town to town for food, water, supplies, weapons, shelter and fuel for their car until they reached the prison. They cleared out all the Walkers from the prison and came across another group who were previous inmates staying in another area of the prison.

"I still can't get over the fact you have that car." Glenn shook his head beside Maggie,

"You're not getting it Glenn." I narrowed my eyes at him making the others laugh.

"So Lori, you thought of any names yet?" I directed my attention to Lori who was sitting quietly.

"She's gonna name the baby after me." Carl said proudly.

"And what if it's a girl?" Rick raised an eyebrow at his son.

"Carla," He grinned as the group laughed together.

"Maggie, Glenn you mind being on watch?" Rick asked the two who nodded taking their rifles and heading outside to go to the guard tower.

We finished our food and put out the bin fire. Lori and Carol went inside one cell so they could get some rest and Carl went to sleep inside the one he shared with Rick. Daryl was sitting up on his perch playing with the crossbow. Hershel and T-Dog were talking on one side of the cell block leaving me and Rick to clean up. I watched Rick clean up before he looked at me questioningly.

"You've changed." I observed as he looked at me.

"Changed how?"

"You don't seem as happy," I said sadly.

"I am," Rick said unconvincingly making me chuckle. I nudged his shoulder making him smile.

"The group seem like they're well." I turned around at T-Dog and Hershel who were conversing with one another.

"They deserve it, we've had a hard couple months." Rick began cleaning some of the plates.

"You don't have to put your walls up, around me Rick." I said with my hands on my hips.

"You can talk to me remember. I'm your friend." I said my heart twinging on the last word.

"We can talk outside?" I suggested as Rick nodded he lead the way to the courtyard of the prison.

"When we escaped the farm, I told Lori I killed Shane and that I did it because he was dangerous. I wanted to keep her, Carl and the baby safe. I did it for my family. But she-" Rick said pinching his forehead with his fingers.

"She didn't take it well, things haven't been right between us since. Carl hasn't been speaking to his mother either." Rick stated.

"That must've been hard for all of you." I said making Rick look at me.

"Lori being pregnant in a post-apocalyptic world, all the stress and trauma she's endured can't have been easy. Blaming you for Shane was the easiest thing for her to do, the most plausible reason than believing he was dangerous. And Carl, well he's a kid who's had to grow up too fast." I said.

"So you're saying it's alright for her to blame me?" Rick said annoyed.

"No, no," I put my hands on his arms.

"I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying, you guys have all been through a lot and it's not my place to say or intervene but I think give her another chance, she looks like she wants it." I explained.

"Me and Lori have drifted. I think I still love my wife, but it's different now." Rick said pacing. I felt awkward he was talking about Lori like this, especially since the history between us.

"It's different." He fixed me with a stare coming close to me until we were face to face.

"Lori needs you." I said stepping out of our proximity.

"I know," Rick said feeling slightly taken aback.

"But, I'm always here for you Rick." I said gently taking a small step closer.

"I know," He said in a gentle tone. I reached up and planted a kiss on his cheek pulling back and seeing his intense eyes on me and his cheek slightly red.

"You give nice hugs you know," I said smiling.

"I know." Rick grinned.

 **A/N: Review?**


	19. Chapter 19 - Disbelief

**A/N: Happy holidays everyone! I hope you have a good Christmas, Hanukkah, or a good holiday in general if you're like me and don't celebrate, which is why I have here a nice long chapter for you. I'm not ready to post this chapter, but it was an important moment in the show, it shaped the way some characters developed - namely Rick and Carl.**

 **Thanks to everyone who supports my story, like superfaraway who's just favourited and followed! and to everyone who reviews, you guys are awesome!**

 **JasminJW: You may not love it so much after this lol.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

I was woken up by Daryl throwing a pillow on me the next morning making me growl at the long haired archer.

"Rick wants us outside," He said gruffly leaving my cell.

"Get the fuck out!" I growled chucking the pillow back at him which just narrowly missed his shoulder as he quickly hopped out of the cell. I tried to make myself look vaguely presentable by brushing my hair down with my finger and tying it up. I put my jacket on and laced up my boots, taking the belt I tied it around so both my gun and knife were present and left the cell seeing Daryl standing impatiently.

"What took you so long?" He demanded tapping his feet.

"Move," I said to him, realising how early it was in the morning. He shook his head with his crossbow slung over his back and I followed him until we got out of the courtyard.

"Rick better have a damn good reason for waking us up at the ass crack of dawn, otherwise I'll kill him." I said grumpily squinting when we came out into the low morning sun.

"Get in line." Daryl huffed in front of me.

The gate had been opened by T-Dog and Carol was driving the Cherokee into the inner courtyard next to my car. I spotted Rick next to an overturned truck with a white shirt that looked damn good on him. I tried not to show the sharp intake of breath I did when I saw him standing there leaning over the truck.

"Mornin'," He said to us both as Daryl nodded to him and I gave him the finger.

"What's with the hostility?" Rick raised an eyebrow amused.

"Sunrise just happened." I said pointing in the sky glaring at him.

"I forgot you're not a morning person." Rick said smirking. But seeing him teasing and joking put a smile to my face despite how tired I was.

"Hey T," I waved to him as he came over. Carol came out of her car and jogged over, greeting us good morning.

"Alright we got a lot to do," Rick sai do," Rick said.

"We got to clear out the dead corpses on the field here, pile 'em up and burn 'em." He said looking over the field.

"That's a lot of bodies," T-Dog whistled looking around.

"Hence why we're awake so early," Rick placed a pointed look towards me.

"Where's Glenn, we could use his help," Carol said.

"Weren't he and Maggie on watch?" I asked. We all turned around to the guard tower which had no sign of either Glenn or Maggie.

"Glenn!" Daryl shouted.

"Hey Glenn! Maggie!" He put his hands around his mouth and called out once more. There was some movement in the guard tower as a shirtless Glenn stumbled out of the door zipping his trousers up. Another figure was seen inside the tower fixing their shirt. That had to be Maggie.

"Hey, hey, what's up guys," He waved as I plastered a big grin on my face. I looked at T-Dog, Rick and Carol who were smiling.

"Are you coming?" Daryl shouted smirking at us. We erupted into fits of laughter as Daryl made his joke.

"You coming?" Daryl called out again making us laugh.

"What?" Glenn shouted with a confused look on his face.

"Get on down 'ere we could use a hand." Daryl turned around and had a smile on his face.

"Wow, who knew you could be so funny," I teased Daryl touching his arm as he shoved me away.

"Daryl, can be touchy-feely too," Carol joined in as he shot her a glare.

"Oh I _know_ ," I laughed emphasising on the last word. Rick was giving me a funny look then turned away to watch Glenn and Maggie as they climbed down the stairs. Both fully clothed.

"Eventful night?" I winked at Glenn before Maggie came into hearing range.

"Shut up," He muttered, his hair messy and ruffled.

"Good, you could join us." Rick had a hint of a smile.

"Yeah, glad you came." Daryl snorted. I covered up my laugh with a cough and could see T-Dog, Rick and Carol trying to suppress smiles.

"You guys done?" Glenn asked looking unamused.

"No but I bet you were," I shot as Daryl started coughing violently and laughing. It was just at that moment Maggie came up to us, her cheeks slightly flushed and looking embarrassed.

"Hey Maggie," I said sweetly not wanting to embarrass her since we had just got off to a new fresh start.

"Hey," She smiled still looking slightly embarrassed she had been caught up in the tower with Glenn.

"Sleep well?" I couldn't help it listening to Daryl snicker.

"Fine," She narrowed her eyes playfully. We started walking off to go outside into the field past the main courtyard.

"Hey Rick," T-Dog turned our attention to two inmates coming up to the gate.

"That's the guys you were talking about?" I looked up at Rick and got a funny feeling in my stomach when his eyes flickered over to mine. Okay. That hasn't happened before. I thought I was over this crush.

"Yeah," Rick nodded. He had a stern look in his eye and began walking towards the fence the two men were standing.

"Come with me," He said lowly to me, T-Dog and Daryl touching my arm. There it was again. My arm tingled from where his fingers off. It took me a minute to snap out of it before Daryl looked at me strangely and I followed them towards the gate.

The two men in prisoner jumpsuit uniforms came out from behind the fence and stood waiting for Rick.

"That's close enough. We had an agreement." Rick said firmly to them.

"Please mister, we know that. We made a deal. But we can't live in that place no longer." The long, blonde haired man with a southern accent pleaded. I looked at Rick who tilted his head to the side and his jaw clicked. He was angry.

"All the bodies, people we knew, blood and brains everywhere. There's ghosts." He said sadly. I felt slightly sympathetic to their plight but I could see Rick was not feeling the same at all. He's hardened. He's not the same as before. And I get it, he's been through too much and lost too many people to be the same compassionate Rick he was. But I'm not sure how I feel about that.

"Why don't you move the bodies?" Daryl said next to me.

"Burn 'em," T-Dog said indifferently.

"We tried. Dragged the bodies down by the fences of the other prison. But every time we do that, those things line up and we drop em and get back." The taller man said beside him.

"We had nothing to do with Tomas and Andrew. Nothing." The blonde haired man said walking up to us. Rick put his arm up across my body and had his other hand on the holster of his gun.

"Rick," I said lowly but he ignored me.

"You trying to prove a point, you proved it bro. Just please, we'll do whatever it takes to be part of your group." The blonde haired man continued pleading. I looked at him and saw he was trying to be genuine.

"Just please don't make us live in that place." he said one last time.

"Rick," I called his attention. This time he turned around to face me with his hands on his hips.

"Maybe, we should consider his offer." I suggested to Rick who looked at me like I had spoke another language.

"I get you don't trust them, and I understand that, but-"

"You don't understand that," Rick said slightly annoyed.

"Wha-"

"After what this group has been through in the past 9 months, I'm not gonna risk it on people I don't know. They could hurt my family and I'm not gonna risk that." Rick said as he was talking into my face. I took a step back from Rick, slightly shocked at his outburst.

"Okay," I said putting my hands up in surrender.

"It's your decision I know. But you didn't know me either, remember? And you took a chance, I turned out alright," I pointed out to him as he looked at me in the eyes. He looked at the ground for a moment then turned back around to the inmates.

"Our deal is non-negotiable. You either live in your cell block, or you leave." Rick said in a tone that meant there was no room for any argument. I closed my eyes then looked at the back of Rick's head.

"I told you this was a waste of time. They ain't no different than the pricks who shot up our boys." The taller ex-prisoner said to the blonde haired man looking at us spitefully.

Rick was conflicted as he turned around to look at me and Daryl. Daryl shook his head immediately then Rick looked at me.

"It's up to you Rick. But giving them a chance, even just a small one is worth doing." I said encouragingly as he thought about it.

Rick looked at Daryl and nodded getting the chain and padlock wrapping it back around the fence. I looked down at the ground feeling slightly disappointed as Daryl walked back to us.

Glenn, Maggie and Carol were hanging back against the truck as Rick was talking intently to T-Dog.

"Are you serious? You want them living in the cellblock next to us?" Rick asked incredulously to T-Dog.

"You wanna go back to sleeping with one eye open?" He asked.

"I never stopped. Bring them into the fold, we send 'em off packing we might as well execute them ourselves." T-Dog replied simply.

"I agree with him." I said crossing my arms making Rick look at me intently.

"I don't know, Axel seems a little unstable." Glenn said as I digested this piece of information.

"After all we've been through, we fought so hard for all this, what if they try to take it?" Carol asked.

"I also agree with that." I tilted my head towards Carol.

"What's your take on this?" Daryl asked me making the rest of the group turn to me.

"I just got here yesterday, I don't think I have any right to say-"

"You do, you're part of this group." Rick nodded encouragingly.

"Okay. Well, Carol's right, from what you've told me you've been on the road for a while and this prison seems like the first place of stability for all of us. These people are strangers, but if over time they prove trustworthy maybe it's worth giving them a chance. I'm not talking about right now, but in the future." I explained as Rick looked pensive.

"Those two might have less blood on their hands than we do." T-Dog scoffed. I thought back to the first time I left the farm, when those men had me tied up and beaten. When they tried to- and then Michonne came and we killed all of them. No hesitation.

"I know guys like them. I grow up with 'em, they're degenerates but they ain't psycho." Daryl said squinting in the sun.

"I could've been there with them just as easy as I'm out with you guys." He shrugged.

"You agree with T-Dog?" I asked incredulously at Daryl.

"Hell no, they should take their chances on the road like we did." Daryl scoffed making me chuckle.

"When I was a rookie I arrested this kid, 19 years old. Wanted for stabbing his girlfriend, the kid blubbered like a baby in trial and then got acquited for insufficient evidence. And then two weeks later, he shot another girl. We been through too much. Our deal with them stands." Rick finished his story, I was wrong for doubting his decision, he was right. The group had been through too much and they shouldn't risk it.

Daryl began walking away and Rick followed him before I pulled his arm back slightly.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked and he nodded reluctantly. I pulled him away from where Glenn, Maggie, Carol and T-Dog were standing making sure no one could hear us.

"Are we good?" I asked but he wasn't meeting my gaze.

"I'm sorry for what I did earlier, undermining your authority like that in front of the inmates? That was uncalled for, and I agree with what you said." I said calmly as he looked up to meet my gaze.

"What about what you said about giving them a chance?" He asked.

"I don't believe we can give chances like that anymore." I ran a hand through my hair.

"Why did you say it then?" He questioned.

"I guess, I thought you were the same Rick that I had met 9 months ago. But you're not, and that's not a bad thing." I defended in case he took it the wrong way.

"It's your circumstance that's changed you." I explained myself.

"I know that." He nodded.

"I just didn't want you to be like me." I said shuffling my feet.

"What do you mean?" Rick asked confused. I took a deep breath before speaking again.

"I never got a chance to tell you. When Hershel sent me off the farm the first time I was travelling by myself, trying to go to Washington when I met this guy." I said watching Rick's face tense.

"I didn't trust him but I let him stay as a travelling companion whilst I could figure out what to do, another set of eyes was better than just having one." I said as Rick listened intently.

"He saved me a few times from Walkers and he helped get food. I let my guard down slightly, then we got kidnapped." I said slowly. Rick came closer.

"What?" He said in a low angry voice.

"And the guys were persuasive in their techniques to find out where I travelled from because of the fresh clothes, supplies, weapons etc." I suddenly had flashbacks to where they began beating me and closed my eyes reliving the memories. Rick's hand on my forearm snapped me out of it.

"Did they hurt you?" Rick's jaw clicked into place and his icy blue eyes were trained on mine.

"Yes," I sighed. He looked like he was about to explode before I touched his wrist calming him down.

"They tried to, do things," I said feeling shaky on my legs all of a sudden.

"I never told them where the farm was, not once." I reassured him seeing his face contort.

"They never got very far, with what they were doing." I said as stray tear rolled down my cheek. They had us tied up in those chairs for two days with no food, little water and beating the shit out of my face. But the worst feeling was when Dwane had me backed up against the wall. I could still feel his grimy fingers trailing down my arms and above my chest.

"That's why my face was all beat up when you saw me." I explained.

"How did you get out?" He managed to breathe out.

"It was a woman who was scavenging for supplies, she saw me and rescued me." I smiled thinking of Michonne. Her deep mistrust of the governor is what was going to keep her and Andrea alive.

"This is the same woman you and Andrea travelled with?" Rick asked and I nodded.

"She let me go, tended to my injuries. And we killed them. We killed all 6 of them with their own weapons." I gulped looking down feeling ashamed.

"It seems like I have a lot to thank her for." Rick's voice brought me back from my thoughts. He put two fingers on my chin and gently lifted them up so my brown eyes were pulled into his intense blue ones.

"They deserved what they got. Don't feel guilty for killing them, you probably saved more lives and more girls from suffering the same or even worse fates." Rick explained.

"I guess," I mumbled.

"I need you to give me a smile." Rick stated.

"What?"

"You heard me," He had his eyebrows raised as he crossed his arms over his chest. I could detect the rippling muscles under the white shirt he was wearing and resisted the urge not to gulp or continue staring.

I gave him a small smile and he shook his head.

"That's not a smile. Come on." He nudged my arm gently. I gave him a wider smile but he was still not convinced.

"I guess that'll do." He smirked making me smile and laugh.

"That's what I was looking for," He winked seeing my reaction.

"And you didn't undermine my authority with what you said, I have changed since the farm." Rick confirmed my suspicions making me nod.

"Rick! Pol! come on!" Daryl shouted impatiently looking annoyed.

We started walking over to Daryl side by side in comfortable silence.

"Hey, what did you mean to Carol when you said you know Daryl could be touchy-feely?" Rick asked curiously.

"Oh," I grinned.

"If I told you he'd kill me." I snickered as Rick gave me a small smile but had an unreadable expression on his face. He looked troubled.

"You good?" I asked.

"Yep, good." He said looking ahead.

Once we had finished making piles of the Walkers in the main field we were all hot, sweaty and breathing heavily.

"Let's move the cars, face them outwards so we'd be ready to go if we need to." Rick tossed all the keys to Glenn and Daryl who began walking over to where the 3 cars were parked.

"You scratch my car Glenn and I will kill you," I said threateningly to him.

"It's not even technically your car, you stole it!" He defended.

"Finders keepers, be careful!" I shouted as he ignored me and walked off.

"You're very attached to that car." T-Dog smirked knowingly.

"Since when do we find fine ass cars like that in the apocalypse?" I asked and he put his hands up.

"That's what I thought." I nodded. I watched as the BMW I found on the highway roared into life as Glenn began backing it up to turn around.

"He's grinding the clutch," I whined.

"I thought us guys were supposed to worry about their cars." Rick stood beside me looking amused.

"Post-apocalypse the rules change Grimes." I smirked at him. I opened the gate as Daryl's motorbike came to life, driving it down to where the front gate was for an easy getaway. I closed the gate behind them letting them drive the cars down to the front.

I waved to the two inmates standing there and patted Rick on the shoulder before walking around back to cell block D.

Meanwhile in Woodbury..

"We could pack up soon, get a few hours on the road before dusk." Michonne pulled out the map over the bed as Andrea lay on the other side.

"Where we going?" She looked up and asked Michonne who was studying it intently.

"I'm thinking the coast, having water to one side would give us an advantage. An island would be even better." Michonne stated.

"By ourselves?" Andrea checked.

"I'd rather take our chances out there and stay here." Michonne said decidedly.

"And all this because you don't trust the Governor?" Andrea raised her eyebrow sceptically.

"That's what my gut tells me and it's kept us alive this long." Michonne justified.

"Pol was right, to leave this place. I don't agree with the way she did it, just leaving a note and not telling us, but she felt something was off about him too." Michonne stated.

"Pol didn't just leave this place. She left us Michonne." Andrea said annoyed.

"I miss her." She sighed.

"I do too." Michonne nodded.

"We have to move on though, it's unlikely we'll see her again." Michonne answered.

"Where would she go?" Andrea wondered.

"I think she's gone to look for our old group. If they're still alive even." Andrea scoffed.

"If they were, where would they be holed up?" Michonne asked her. Andrea looked at the map and tried to find the major places of fortification which were in the area.

"If they stayed in this area, they would be in this factory or this prison." Andrea pointed to the places on the map.

"I know Pol, and this is where she would've tried to go."

"Maybe we should." Andrea suggested to Michonne who looked thoughtful.

"No," She said firmly.

"She's chosen her own path, and whilst I wish the best for her, we gotta look after ourselves now. We stick to our plan." Michonne finalised.

Back at the prison

I rounded the corner into the cellblock and watched as Hershel was stood walking around the area with crutches.

"Look at you Hershel! Out of bed." I grinned and he smiled concentrating on walking in the room.

"Yeah I told him he should rest now." Lori said in a stern voice.

"On second thoughts, I think I'll take a stroll." Hershel said as Lori followed him leaving Carl, Beth and me inside the prison.

"What are you guys doing outside?" Carl asked.

"Clearing the yard of Walkers, moving the cars around. Real fun stuff." I said sarcastically.

"At least you get to do stuff." Carl looked down.

"Trust me kid, this isn't high brow, adrenaline pumping stuff." I joked hoping it would improve his mood.

"From what I've heard, you've done amazingly for this group defending everyone, including your mum and your baby sister/brother. You should be proud." I said to him as he looked up.

"Really?"

"Really," I emphasised.

"We could play a card game?" Beth suggested trying to lift his spirits.

"J-just me and you?" Carl asked as his cheeks turned slightly red. Aww so cute! Someone has a crush on Beth.

"Yeah," Beth beamed.

"Come on!" She disappeared inside her cell as Carl followed her looking back at me. I gave him a thumbs up as he too went inside.

I went back outside the cellblock seeing, Rick, Daryl and Glenn climb through a cut in the outer fence to scout the perimeter. Carol was backing up and rearranging the cars out of the way. I went outside to the basketball court where Lori was helping Hershel down the stairs. I came up behind him and kept my hands out just in case.

"Take your time daddy," I turned around seeing Beth and Carl had followed me as we made sure he safely made it down.

"Cleared all those bodies out?" Hershel looked at us as we walked across.

"It was hell to do, but yeah." I nodded feeling the heat of the sun.

"Looking like a place we could really live in." Hershel looked around with a gleam in his eyes.

"You watch your step, last thing we need is you falling." Lori said a hand hovering behind his back. We came up to the fence and saw Rick, Glenn and Daryl bringing in piles of wood for fires. They looked at Hershel and smiled at us across the field.

"Alright Hershel!" Glenn shouted encouragingly making us laugh.

"You're doing great daddy," Beth smiled.

"Ready to race Hershel?" Carl asked cheekily.

"Give me another day, I'll take you on." He smiled to Carl who giggled. The cars stopped moving and Carol, Maggie and T-Dog were also smiling and laughing looking happy.

Rick had his face up against the fence and was smiling intently in our direction. I glanced over to Lori who also had a shy smile on her face pushing her hair back. I was happy for my friends, that they were working things out, or that they had hope. But that still didn't make it hurt any less.

I could hear faint snarling. And I turned around, gasping suddenly seeing the horde of Walker emerge from one side of the prison.

"Walkers!" I shouted. Carl and Lori sprung into action pulling out their guns and firing at the decaying corpses. I pulled out my newly reloaded colt and also began firing at them.

"I thought you guys cleared the prison!" I shouted standing beside Lori.

"We did!" She exclaimed. Maggie came towards us machete in hand to back us up and stand by Hershel and Beth but there were too many of them converging around us. From over the fence I saw Rick and Daryl running back frantically.

"Get outta there! Lori!" Rick shouted. Carl was in front of the group shooting the Walkers.

"Carl get back!" I called out to him. He didn't seem to listen as I came up beside him. T-Dog, Carol and Maggie all had their guns and began shooting into the crowd of Walkers that had just gotten bigger and bigger.

Hershel and Beth had disappeared and I started panicking but then saw them climb up the stairs into another part of the prison.

"Lori! Here!" Maggie held one end of the gate she was about to close as Carl, Lori and me followed her she closed it shut. Carol and T-Dog had run off somewhere else. But I couldn't see Rick, Daryl and Glenn. Our group was fractured and we were being hunted.

We ran up the stairs we had previously come out of and I shut the door behind us until we were inside the cell block. We walked through the dismal cafeteria and back towards our cell block when growling followed by thudding steps belonging to many Walkers came through blocking our exit.

"This way," Maggie said leading Carl to another area of the prison as I stayed behind Lori.

"Lori, you okay?" I said eyes darting to the Walkers behind us, she had scrunched up her face in pain before opening again.

"I'm fine." She jogged through the door behind Carl and Maggie as I slammed the cell gate shut.

We ran through the corridor trying to get away from the Walkers who were becoming increasingly vicious for our flesh. I could hear more gunshots coming from outside and hoped that was Rick and the others fighting the Walkers back. Suddenly the alarms of the prison started going off making loud noises.

"Shit," I muttered.

"What?" Lori asked next to me.

"That alarm, it's gonna attract the Walkers for miles." Everyone looked at each other worriedly as we continued making our way through the maze of the prison. Carl and Maggie scouted the rooms and cells with their guns whilst I stayed behind Lori.

"Lori," I said lowly.

"Was that a contraction?" She looked at me wordlessly but kept walking forwards. She place her hand against the wall and started groaning again.

"Lori," Maggie hurried over as I held her back.

"Something's not right." Lori turned around, sweating and breathing heavily against the wall.

"Were you bit?" Maggie asked panicked.

"I think the baby's coming." Lori asked.

"You're shitting me." I said making Maggie shoot me a look.

"Mom?" Carl asked in a small voice as the snarling and growling got louder, a crowd of Walkers rounded the corner coming straight for us. Maggie held Lori in one arm as me and Carl walked down the corridors trying to find an escape route but we were surrounded from all fronts. We saw a room with a closed door as Carl opened it.

"In here!" He said as we went inside and closed it as best as we could. Lori held the railings and bent forward against the wall breathing heavily then groaning again. The room was full of pipes and machinery with cupboards that were empty and rusting.

"Lori let's lay you down." I said to her urgently as he continued panting heavily.

"No the baby's coming now," She struggled.

"We have to get back to our cell block, Hershel-" Carl started speaking.

"No this baby's coming now you have to give birth here. Come one let's take your pants off." Maggie started helping her as I turned Carl around to face me.

"Look at me buddy, me and Maggie will make sure nothing happens to your mother. But I'm gonna need you to be really brave, can you do that?" I asked him. He was so young, still a kid and he had to handle so much.

"Yeah,"

"Okay, stay close but keep an eye on that door, like a guard. Okay?" Carl nodded and stepped back slightly as I moved to Maggie to help with Lori.

"You're gonna need to help me, you up for this?" Maggie asked me discarding Lori's trousers and pants.

"Uh sure," I nodded.

"This is my first time too." Maggie said and I looked at her uneasily.

"I gotta push," Lori said between breaths. Lori used the railings to stand up and faced the wall as she began pushing and groaning.

"Somebody!" She said between her scream. I grabbed her hand and she breathed in and out.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," she said putting her head against the wall. Maggie was holding her lower back.

"You're doing great Lori. Your body knows what it's doing, just let it do all the work." Maggie reassured her. Lori let out more shouts and groans and she continued trying to push, I saw Carl standing in close proximity with his gun out breathing heavily.

"Your mother's okay Carl, it's alright." I reassured him.

"Lori stop don't push something's wrong!" Maggie shouted pulling her hand it from Lori which was covered in blood, she gave me a worried look as Lori let out a bloodcurdling scream. Lori was looking worryingly pale and seemed to be suffering a lot of blood loss. This time I didn't stop Carl as we helped lay her on the floor with her eyes opening and closing.

"Mom look at me, look at me. Keep your eyes open." Carl put his hands on her face then held one of her hands.

"I'm not gonna make it." Lori mumbled.

"Don't talk like that." I said looking at Lori sadly.

"Lori with this amount of blood loss, I don't think you're fully dilated yet, no amount of pushing is gonna help." Maggie looked between Lori's legs then back up panicked.

I put a hand on Maggie's arm to calm her down and she took a deep breath then nodded.

"I know what it means. And I am not losing my baby." Lori said determined.

"We're not losing you either." I said firmly.

"If its between me and the baby. Choose the baby. You gotta cut me open." She said as me and Maggie looked at her shocked.

"No," Maggie shook her head with tears in her eyes.

"I can't." She pleaded.

"Please Lori, I have no anaesthetic, no equip-" Maggie said in tears.

"Pol has a knife." Lori looked at me longingly as I touched the belt where my knife was hanging.

"You won't survive," Maggie said as Lori was becoming more pale by the minute.

"My baby will survive. Please. For all of us. Please Maggie, Pol. Please!" She called out crying. Me and Maggie had tears streaming down our face and I looked at Carl who's blue eyes were getting watery standing a distance away.

Maggie shook her head again and I placed a hand on her forearm making her look at me.

"It's what she wants." I said through tears.

In Woodbury

"I thought we had an agreement." Michonne said angrily arms folded over her chest

"We can always leave tomorrow, or another day. What if we run into trouble we can't get out of." Andrea said nonchalantly.

"Tell me about it." Michonne looked furious keeping her eyes trained on Andrea.

"Michonne it's just another day or two," Andrea said sighing deeply.

"I heard you. The first time." Michonne flicked the handle of their packed bags.

"Pol was right to go when she did." Michonne brushed past Andrea and out of their shared room leaving her alone with her thoughts. Woodbury was a safe place and stable.

Something she hadn't had in a while.

Prison

I lifted Lori's shirt and saw a scar running just under her navel.

"You see my old C-section scar?" Lori asked.

"I can't." Maggie said immediately with tears.

"I'll do it." I closed my eyes then opened them.

"I'll do it. Just tell me what to do." I reassured Maggie trying to remain calm. Carl was beside his mother close to breaking down.

"Carl, I don't want you to be scared baby. You take of yer daddy alright? You'll have 'nother baby brother or sister to take care of." Lori said holding his hand as Carl was crying.

"You don't have to do this," Carl cried his voice shaky.

"You're gonna be fine. You are going to beat this world." Lori said firmly, smiling with tears in her eyes.

"I know you will. You are smart and you are strong and you are so brave." Lori emphasised. I felt my face wet from crying, seeing the touching moment between mother and son.

"And I love you." Lori said.

"Love you too," Carl managed a small smile through his crying.

"You gotta do what's right baby, so if you see a wrong thing in this world. Don't do it." She told Carl.

"Don't let the world spoil you," Lori cried her voice going octaves higher. Carl was crying under his hat over his mother as Lori wiped the tears off his face.

"My sweet boy, best thing I ever did. I love you." Lori broke crying and pulling Carl into her arms she cried into his shoulders as they both embraced. I held Maggie's hand who was shaking and crying as we watched them say goodbye to each other. I was full on crying for Lori, the woman who first accepted me into this group, no questions asked. Who defended me, who cared for me and protected me like a sister. I cried for my friend, who was leaving this horrible world. But bringing in new life. New hope. Carl came out of his mother's embrace as I pulled him into a side hug.

"Pol when this is over you're going to have to do it. It can't be Rick." Lori said as I cried nodding furiously. I was beside Lori's head as she began talking to me.

"Take care of them. Take care of my husband, take care of Carl. I know you will, I know how much you love them." She said looking up at me.

"I know." This made me cry even more but I nodded in agreement.

"They will care for you and protect you. I know they will always have your back, as I know you will have theirs. Take care of my baby," She cried.

"I will," I said my voice filled with emotion.

"It's alright." Lori said taking deep breaths. Maggie's hands were bloody as I pulled out the knife from my belt my hands were shaking. I took a deep breath closing my eyes then opened them staying calm.

"Goodnight love," Lori whispered up to the ceiling.

"Maggie," I looked at the woman who indicated where I should cut.

I sliced her skin open horizontally from her previous caesarian mark as blood start spilling out of the wound, Lori let out a horrific scream.

"No!" Carl tried to stop me but Maggie held him.

"You're killing her!" He shouted over Lori's screams as I felt the tears blurring my vision wiping them away. Suddenly Lori stopped screaming and her eyes closed as she was convulsing on the ground.

"Pol, if you cut deep you'll keep the baby," Maggie said rushing over to my side. I cut gently into the flesh as it made another opening.

"I see it, I see the baby." Maggie said reaching her hands into Lori's stomach.

"I can't tell if this is the arm or the leg. Okay I'm going to pull the baby out." Maggie said decidedly as her arms moved around inside. She lifted them up as me and Carl both watched a small baby covered in blood come out of Lori. Maggie held the unmoving, unsounding baby as she tapped the chest and arms and legs.

"It's not crying," Carl whispered as I wrapped a bloody arm around him. Maggie lightly rubbed the baby's chest once more before it suddenly started crying making me smile through my tears.

Carl smiled before shrugging his jacket off as Maggie handed the baby to me I held it looking at the little wonder Lori had managed to give birth too. Wrapping the baby around it, Maggie cut the umbilical cord.

"It's a girl," I smiled at Carl through my tears as he returned it.

"We have to go," She said as we both stood up. I pressed the baby to my chest and remembered my promise to Lori to look after the baby who was lying dead on the floor.

"We can't just leave her here. She'll turn." Carl said standing up quickly. I gulped remembering what Lori asked me to do. I pulled out the gun from my holster.

"No," Carl cried.

"Carl," Maggie started.

"She's my mom." He cried. Maggie went towards the exit of the room as I watched Carl.

"I'll be brave," I nodded numbly taking the baby away from what was about to happen.

"No more kids stuff," Carl muttered leaning over his mother's body.

Maggie creaked the door open into the corridor and checked around for Walkers as I stood with the baby behind her, my bloody hand smearing Carl's jacket. Walkers were still roaming the hallways but were out of sight and paid no attention to us. She closed the door as I backed up down the stairs then jumped at the sound of the close gunshot. I took a deep breath and rounded the corner as Carl brushed straight past us without saying word.

We followed him down the hallways until we reached the door to the outside courtyard. I took a deep breath and pushed open the door handle, walking down the steps with the baby pressed against my chest. It was gurgling and cooing but my heart was broken and I couldn't bring myself to be happy. I saw Rick, Glenn, Hershel, Daryl and Beth standing in the courtyard and turned around when we opened the metal gate.

I felt tears building up in my eyes as I slowly shuffled over towards Rick with Maggie and Carl in tow. I gulped as Rick looked serious up and down at us. He dropped the axe and walked over very slowly with a dirty T-shirt and rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

I tried to speak but it was coming out in blubbered sounds as the tears were falling. Rick was shaking his head but the tears were building in his eyes. I started sobbing as Rick paced around me.

"W-where, where is she?" He asked his eyes looking lifeless.

"N-no, Rick no!" I pulled his arm as he pushed past me standing beside Carl and began sobbing. I passed the baby on to Maggie and turned around not stopping the crying sounds that were coming out.

"Noo, n-no, no!" Rick's face contorted in sadness as he looked at Carl who was continually staring at the ground.

"Noooo," Rick put his hand through his hair walking past to the prison. I tentatively walked after him trying to keep my sobs under control.

"Rick," I said softly through my tears.

Glenn put his hands around Maggie's face as she cried uncontrollably holding the baby safe in her arms. Rick's legs gave way as he lay on the floor, his hands on his face crying. I walked over to him and sat down on the ground putting his head on my lap.

I held him as he mourned for his dead wife. My friend.

Lori Grimes. Rest in peace.

 **A/N: It was so sad killing Lori off :( but as I said before the scene is instrumental for shaping certain characters. It was a gut-wrenching, emotional chapter to write and I hope I've done it justice. Your thoughts are appreciated x**


	20. Chapter 20 - Grief

**A** / **N: Back with another chapter for you all. bear with me, this is a much shorter chapter than the last one and has more emotion and dialogue. It's not one of my best chapters, so please be gentle.**

 **Thank you to everyone who reads this story including Fanficfan20XX and Kleo Drako who are now following! And I wouldn't be anywhere without my lovely reviewers to keep me going! But I've noticed some of you have disappeared... have y'all lost interest? :/**

 **JasminJW: I know the Lori scene was hard to write! Thank you though.**

 **Ryane: I'm going to interpret your response as, the chapter was so mind-blowingly amazing that it rendered you speechless :p**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters and storyline. only my OC and plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

The baby was crying in Maggie's arms as I continued to hold Rick who's head was laying in my lap and was sobbing gently. I could feel my own tear stained face and did not have the heart to hear the cries of Lori's baby. I had nothing to say to Rick. Nothing that would make him feel better, after all he had lost his wife. I had never seen him so broken.

"Rick," I said gently nudging him as the sound of crying from the baby got louder. I pushed him up until he was sitting down on the ground and stood up in front of him. He was on his feet but his eyes were unfocused, his head was moving around and he was breathing heavily. No longer crying but completely out of it.

"Where's T-Dog and Carol?" I asked the group and Glenn shook his head.

"They didn't make it." I felt my heart lurch in my chest and felt the tears falling freely down my cheek. That was three friends. Three friends we lost today.

"Rick you need to go to her," I urged him to go to his new-born baby but he was unresponsive. Seeing Maggie struggling with her, I looked at Daryl who took my place in front of Rick, trying to get his attention.

"Rick," Daryl bent down on one knee in front of him, waving his had in front of his face.

"Can he hear me?" Daryl turned to me.

"I don't know, I'm worried." I said as Maggie handed the crying baby into my arms. I wiped the tears from my face and tried to keep a clear head. We hadn't actually found the bodies so there's a chance that they're still alive.

"Shh," I held and rocked her in my arms but she continued crying. Carl was standing by my side looking solemn and held his arms out. I gently passed his little sister to him so he could calm her down.

"Let me see the baby," Hershel said standing by Beth. Carl brought her over to Hershel as Daryl followed him. I walked back over to Rick seeing him on one knee staring at the ground.

"Rick," I said louder this time making his blue eyes focus on me.

"Let's stand up," I looked at him as he nodded wordlessly. He took my arm as support and stood up on his own two feet. I let him keep his hand on my arm for support.

"We got anythin' a baby can eat?" Daryl asked Hershel. I held Rick's hand and led him over to the rest of the group. I glanced up at him every so often, to see his eyes trained on the ground or in front of him. But he was spaced out. I was getting worried for him. Carl needed him, his new baby daughter needed him.

"The good news is, the baby's healthy but we need to get her some formula and soon or she won't survive." Hershel stated checking the baby.

"Nope no way," Daryl said looking serious, slinging the crossbow over his back.

"We ain't losin' anybody else I'm goin' for a run." Daryl said decidedly.

"I'll back you up." Maggie's voice was thick with emotion.

"I'll go too." Glenn said.

"I'll come with you too guys." I said as Daryl shook his head.

"No." He said.

"Why?" I asked surprised he was trying to stop me. I let go of Rick's hand eyeing him cautiously as Daryl placed a hand on my back and guided me over so we were standing next to Beth away from the group.

"Beth, kid just lost his mom, dad ain't doin' so hot," Daryl began.

"I'll look out for him," Beth intervened before walking off to where Carl was.

"Pol, you gotta stay here. Rick's not doin' good, he's gonna need ya to be there for him." Daryl stated.

"How is me being there going to help?" I asked grumpily, the way Rick was in he didn't want anyone near him.

"He's gonna be out of it for a while. When he comes to, you're closest to him an' he cares bout you, you gotta be here." Daryl said firmly. I was admittedly shocked that Daryl had picked up on the closeness I had with Rick, for a man who didn't say much he was definitely observant. I nodded and he patted my arm.

"Be safe," I called out to him and he nodded.

"Come on, let's go." He said to Maggie and Glenn as they walked off towards the cars.

I turned back to the others seeing Hershel with Carl and Beth holding the baby. Rick suddenly snapped out of it and put his pistol into his holster. He picked up the hatchet and walked straight up the stairs inside the cellblock without saying a word.

"Rick!" Maggie called out worriedly.

"Don't worry, I'll go." I said as she nodded. I looked at Carl who followed his father with his eyes.

"Hey buddy, I'll take care of your dad alright?" I said to Carl bending down slightly. He nodded as I squeezed his arm and jogged to catch up to Rick realising my arms and clothes were still stained with dried up blood.

I pulled back the handle of the heavy metal door and pulled out my machete, in case any unsavoury characters were waiting for us. I walked down the dark corridor eyeing the walls warily still in disbelief as to how the horrors of the day had unfolded in front of us. I stopped for a minute in shock then realised: where were Carol and T-Dog? All the events that had just transpired in the last hour and they were nowhere to be seen. I had to pray we would find them and they weren't dead.

Rounding a corner I saw two directions. One led straight down to more of the cell blocks and going right was a closed metal gate. I heard the faint sounds of slashing coming from the gated corridor and opened it jogging down the corridor. I came to a standstill seeing Rick grunting and hacking through multiple Walkers without giving himself a break.

A walker stumbled out from the empty cell nearby and came up behind Rick with the full intention of biting him. I sprung into action and rushed forward slicing the head clean off as it's body slumped to the floor.

Rick turned around at the sound, his hair sweating and matted to his neck, breathing heavily with the bloody hatchet in his hand. His eyes locked in mine for a second as I reached my hand out towards him. He retracted away and walked off wordlessly going down more corridors.

If he wasn't going to say anything I was at least going to keep an eye on him. I followed him, walking a safe distance given the fact his behaviour was volatile and erratic.

"Rick, you need to come outside." I said firmly as he flinched for a minute.

"You have Carl who needs you, a baby daughter who needs you." I said in a softer tone as he stopped walking in front of me. I could see his back muscles clench and tense through the t-shirt.

"I know you're hurting Rick, I know you've lost Lori. We loved her, we all loved her." I said before Rick spun around looking at me furiously.

"What do you know?" He said in a low voice walking towards me.

"You don't know. You don't know anything about this loss." He spat until he was in front of me.

"I know you don't believe that, you're just saying because you're hurting bad right now." I said sympathetically trying to stay strong in my resolve.

"But you have to try and be strong." I said taking a step closer to him.

"Please," I whispered.

"Let me help you." I placed a hand on his cheek and for a second I swore I saw him respond to the touch. Then his eyes went from warm to cold once more and he stalked off. I sighed sadly and decided to follow him. He was going to get killed if he wasn't careful.

"Rick!" I shouted running after him.

"Why are you following me?" He turned around with a wild look in his eyes.

"Rick come back, be with Carl and your baby daughter. Grieve together for Lori." I said softly trying to talk sense into him.

"Leave me alone." He said harshly.

"If you think, I'm going to leave you alone for one second when you're like this? Reckless and erratic, then you're mistaken. I'm not going anywhere." I stood my ground and Rick nodded curtly. This time he slowed down and allowed me to follow him as we continued down the darkened corridors which were littered with bodies.

He stopped staring at the wall which was marred with blood as he had just finished down cutting more Walkers. I saw a light being shone from behind and turned around relieved when I saw Glenn. He came up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked back to Rick as Glenn stepped forward.

"I tried, but he won't listen to me." I said lowly. Glenn nodded and stepped forward slowly seeing the bloody hatchet Rick was holding in one hand.

"Rick," Glenn spoke the man in question didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"Hey everybody's worried about you." He said tentatively stepping closer to him with the torch.

"You shouldn't be in here, come on out." Glenn side stepped around the bodies until he was in front of him as Rick finally registered him.

"Rick, you don't have to do this all by yourself." Glenn repeated. Rick looked at him then glanced to me and around the hallway looking like he couldn't concentrate on what we were saying. I walked over the dead Walkers and came and stood by Glenn.

"You have us Rick. Me and Glenn. And everybody else." I said as he looked at me, his once blue soulful eyes looking dark and desolate.

"Okay, our cell-block's clear, we just need to close all the doors again. Why don't you just come out with us Rick." Glenn said looking at him in the eyes.

"Okay? Rick?" Glenn placed a hand on his shoulder as Rick slammed his body against the wall with his arm under his neck.

"Rick!" I shouted in alarm coming over to help Glenn. Glenn shook his head and gestured for me to stay back. He was remarkably calm as Rick held his gaze against the wall. Then suddenly Rick released him and threw him forwards just letting me catch Glenn so he wouldn't fall over. He took one last dark look at Glenn before turning around and slowly walking away.

"Now what?" Glenn asked frustrated running a hand through his hair.

"I'll stay with him." I said decidedly.

"Are you crazy? With the state he's in, it's not safe." Glenn said incredulously.

"Rick won't hurt me." I said firmly.

"Pol, you should come back with me." Glenn sighed.

"He won't hurt me." I said firmly. Glenn thought about it for a moment then resigned.

"Okay, but if he tries anything, do what you have to do. Don't hesitate." Glenn said and I gulped understanding what he meant. If Rick tried to hurt me, or got too aggressive, I would have to hurt him just as bad. And I wasn't sure I could do that.

"Yeah," I said unconvincingly.

"Keep this on you." Glenn handed me a walkie talkie and I switched it on keeping it attached to my belt.

"If you need help, I'll be on, listening. Okay?" Glenn checked. I nodded and left him in the hallway walking off after Rick. I tried to remember the direction we were heading in but I was at a complete loss. I had only got here yesterday and had no idea how the prison worked or where to go.

At Woodbury

"8 months! For 8 months we were living on the road scavenging for food, I'm tired. I don't have another 8 months in me. Not like that." Andrea said passionately adjusting the pack on her back. Michonne continued looking at her then eyed Merle with the gate open.

Their path was clear and she was intending to take it. Michonne believed they should leave right there and then. But with the way Andrea was acting. She didn't want to leave.

"And you, I-" Andrea was at a loss for words. Michonne gave her a snarky look then looked down.

"What about me?" She challenged Andrea to answer.

"I'm afraid you're gonna disappear." Andrea sighed. Michonne's eye was twitching as she looked up to meet Andrea's gaze, her face contorting into a frown.

"We always talked about this place, a refuge. That idea is what kept the 3 of us going." Andrea tried to make us understand.

"Pol left okay. That was up to her, she embarked in a suicide mission. I doubt she's still out there." Andrea scoffed as Michonne gave her a sharp look.

"I know she's our friend. But she made her own choice." Andrea stated.

"She didn't feel safe here. Her gut instinct told her it wasn't safe." Michonne said pointing to the ground.

"You don't know what she's been through, how I found her the first time. We should've gone after her, we shouldn't have left her out there." Michonne said regretfully.

"Are you comin' or not?" She asked Andrea who's face morphed into confusion.

"Don't do this. Don't give me an ultimatum. Not after everything." Andrea shook her head taking a step back.

"Are you comin' or not?" Michonne repeated her statement. Andrea stayed silent giving Michonne her answer. Michonne walked past Andrea without giving her a second glance.

"You'll just slow me down anyways," She whispered to her and walked straight through the gate, without looking back or uttering a single word.

Back at the Prison

At some point during Rick's insane suicide mission I had lost him through the maze of the prison. After a couple of hours, I gave up trying to find him being completely exhausted and worked on getting back to the cell block or at least into the courtyard.

By some miracle I reached the cafeteria again and followed the dark passageways to door which led down to the stairs outside. I walked outside seeing no one here, then looked up and saw Glenn on watch in the guard tower.

"Hey!" I called up grabbing his attention.

"Hey! Rick?" He asked and I shook my head as Glenn continued to look worried. Suddenly I could hear the sound of a motorbike approaching the prison gate.

"Guys, they're back!" Glenn shouted. I looked to the two inmates Oscar and Axel who were drawing the Walkers away from the gate. Glenn shot the Walkers with a rifle as I ran to the front gate pulling it open then closed it with the help of Axel.

"Thanks," I said. to the blonde haired man, Axel who simply nodded. I tied the padlock around the gate making sure it was secure then followed the direction of Daryl's motorbike.

"Find anything?" I asked Daryl and Maggie as they dismounted the bike.

"Yeah we found a few tins of formula." Maggie stated holding the pack.

"What about Rick?" Daryl asked.

"Where is he?"

"He was wondering around the prison, maniacally cutting down Walkers." I sighed.

"I stayed with him for a while and tried to get him to come out but he wouldn't listen. He was walking so fast that at some point during it I lost him. I'm sorry, I should've kept a better eye." I said ashamed.

"Hey," Daryl said forcing me to look at him.

"You did what you could, we'll find him. Okay?" He checked putting a hand on my shoulder as I nodded blinking away the tears.

"We better get this formula in." Maggie said as we all ran over to inside our cell block C. We walked down the steps seeing Carl holding his sister as she continued crying.

"Shhhh," Daryl said taking the baby from Carl as she immediately quieted her crying. Maggie and Beth made the baby milk and handed it to Daryl who was busy rocking the baby in his arms and feeding her.

Carl looked up at me and I gave him an encouraging smiled. Wow. Daryl was good with babies?! Who knew.

"Come on, come on." Daryl said gently, easing the bottle into her mouth. Carl moved closer, a small smile playing on his lips watching Daryl. She stopped crying as Daryl looked up at us smirking. Glenn and Maggie gave relieved smiles as Carl was staring intently at his baby sister. Hershel and Beth looked at each other and smiled. I grinned at Daryl, feeling a small genuine bit of happiness.

"Dixon you old softie!" I cooed. It was honestly such a sight to see tough Daryl holding this sweet baby. It made him seem so vulnerable.

"Shut up," He teased.

"You got a name yet?" Daryl asked Carl.

"N-no not yet." He replied looking at his sister from under his hat.

"I was thinking maybe Sophia. T-there's Carol too," Carl said looking tentatively at Daryl. I felt the emotion bubbling inside me, threatening to reach the surface as I saw emotion also pass over Daryl's face. Daryl and Carol had been close. No doubt he was also feeling sad for her. But I wasn't counting them out to be dead yet. Not until we found bodies.

"Amy, Jacqui, Patricia or, L-lori." Carl stuttered looking down at the ground. The atmosphere in the room was tense and tinged with sadness. Everyone was reeling from the sadness of their deaths. Carl, being so young had lost his mother. My thoughts were suddenly pulled towards Rick, I had no idea where he was, no idea if he was even safe.

"I dunno," Carl said stepping back. Daryl looked at him then back towards the baby he was feeding.

"You like that, huh," He smiled at the baby.

"Lil' ass-kicker." He looked back up at us smirking making us all chuckle.

"Lil' ass-kicker, huh? You like that sweetheart?" He asked swaying from side to side.

I reloaded my gun and cleaned my machete attaching it to the holster before heading for the exit of the cell block. Daryl caught my eye before handing off the baby to Carl.

"Where you goin'?" He asked.

"Where else to find Rick. I need to make sure he's okay. He needs to be here." I said in a low voice.

"Goin' all gung ho? All by yourself huh?" Daryl crossed his arms, the crossbow still slung over his back.

"I'm not asking anybody to risk their lives to help me." I said putting hands on my hips.

"No you're not, but I'm comin' anyways." He said.

"Daryl,"

"Don't Daryl me, Rick's my friend too. Maybe I don't care bout him the way you do, but I'm still comin' with you." Daryl said firmly. I nodded as he turned round to the rest of the group.

"We're gonna do another sweep, see if we can find Rick. Lock this door behind us, don't open it unless you hear us." Daryl said as the other gave a nod of affirmation.

"Lets go." Daryl said as we walked out of the cell block together.

"Where could he go," I muttered thinking out loud. We checked the empty rooms and cells which still had Walkers along the floor.

"Of course." I said suddenly stopping in my tracks.

"I know where he is." I said.

"Where?"

 **A/N: I know this chapter sucks, sorry guys.**


	21. Chapter 21 - Be Strong

**A/N: hey guys! Got another chapter for you which I think is better written from the last. This chapter is more my own creation which then leads on to the events of the episode it talks about. So this is season 3 episode 6, I hope you guys enjoy my take on it.**

 **Thank you to everyone who reads my story to 1 for following and favouriting and to Ke5ha Who's just favourited! Thank you to my lovely reviewers without whom I wouldn't be motivated to write!**

 **JasminJW: your view and comment always makes my day! I'm glad you have such high praise for my chapter x**

 **Ryane: haha I feel your pain XD. Trust me when I say you'll be waiting a while. It's going to be agonising but so worth it. My favourite bit of writing is developing the relationship and angst and fluff before the actual relationship. Also bear in mine he's just lost Lori, so that'll be a while. So sit back, relax and enjoy the story!**

 **WARNING: Trigger warnings for mentions of suicide and abuse just before midway through this chapter so if you're triggered please don't read.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the walking dead or any affiliated characters or storyline, only my Oc and plot line.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

"I should've thought to check here before," I muttered jogging down the corridors hearing Daryl behind to keep up with me.

"Where we goin'?" He called out behind me.

"The place where Lori went into labour." I stopped jogging and stood at the end of the hallway which lead either right or left.

"You lost?" Daryl asked breathing deeply.

"Uh, a little," I grinned sheepishly as Daryl scowled.

"Just give me a minute." I thought hard and remembered where Carl was leading us when Lori's contractions started.

Right. I turned right and walked down seeing two doors leading to rooms that were spaced out. I opened the first door and looked inside the room which appeared to be another cell. Closing it, we walked down to the second door and Daryl pulled out his crossbow gesturing for me to push on the handle. The door creaked open loudly and we walked down the steps slowly. I pulled out my knife as quietly as possible and looked around seeing Lori's pants in one corner of the room but no Lori.

"What?" Daryl asked seeing me frown.

"Lori's body was here," I said my eyes scanning the dark room. There were large cupboards facing the wall which formed a small hallway. I heard a gentle clanging noise and looked back to Daryl who put a finger to his lips. We walked down it not knowing what we might find and saw Rick sitting against the wall with a destroyed Walker next to him.

I put the knife back inside my belt as Daryl slung the crossbow over his back as we walked over to Rick. The hatchet was covered in blood and decaying skin hanging in Rick's hand. I knelt down in front of him and slowly took the axe out of his hand putting it on the floor beside him.

"Rick, hey," Daryl said clicking his fingers in front of his face. Rick's face lifted which was covered in blood, sweat and dirt as his blue eyes tried to focus in on Daryl.

"Lori," He muttered.

"S-she's gone. Gone." He repeated his head lolling to the side.

"Rick," I said gently as his head snapped up to look at me.

"Rick," I said putting a hand on his cheek.

"Pol?" He asked tentatively and I nodded smiling slightly. I looked at Daryl who had a flicker of hope in his eyes.

"Yes it's me. Me and Daryl, we're here to come get you. It's late, how about you get some sleep huh?" I asked as his eyes focused back down on the hatchet.

"No, n-no. Can't. Ate Lori. It ate Lori." He said looking at the Walker next to him. The walker had a large stomach and could've easily feasted on Lori's flesh. I tried not to throw up at the smell of the decaying flesh and rotting corpses. Me and Daryl moved the Walker and threw it far away.

"It's gone now." I said coming back to squat in front of Rick.

"Come back Rick. Come back to the cellblock with us, you can see Carl and meet your new daughter." I squeezed his hand as he looked at me.

"No, it's my fault. It's my fault." Rick repeated his voice shaky.

"Rick," I turned his face to look at me.

"It's not your fault. It's that inmate Andrew who did it, and he's dead now, we don't need to worry about him." I explained.

"But Rick, the group needs you." I sighed.

"Carol and T-Dog, they're-" I started but couldn't finish as I gulped.

"They're dead," I whimpered.

"We dug graves for Lori, T-Dog and Carol." Daryl said looking down.

"Don't you want to pay your respects?" I asked Rick.

"I'm not goin' back. I'm stayin' here." Rick said as he continued to sit against the wall. I stood up and pulled Daryl by the arm so Rick couldn't hear.

"I'll stay with him here for the night, you go back, you need to keep an eye on the rest of the group." I said.

"I ain't leavin' you two here by yourselves. 'specially not when he's like this." Daryl scoffed.

"Daryl please, I think this is what he came down here for. Closure."

"The group needs him, so I'm going to do my best to get him to come back." I said firmly.

"I can handle Rick, don't worry."

"If you're sure." Daryl said gruffly.

"I am, Go." I gestured to him and he nodded leaving me alone with Rick. I pulled out the cloth I had brought with me and water and sat down legs crossed in front of Rick.

"Will you let me clean your face?" I asked opening the water bottle and looking up at him. He didn't say anything as I wet the cloth.

With one hand I held the side of his face and with the other I began wiping the dirt away that had collected in his beard. I kept away from the cuts for now, trying to make sure they didn't get infected and focused on cleaning them slowly. Once his face was relatively clear I put the rag down and sat against the wall beside him so our shoulders were touching. We stayed like that for a while until I felt my eyes feel heavy and at some point in the night fell asleep.

I woke up and saw light streaming in through the top window. I had slept the whole night. I looked up at Rick who was snoring gently with his head on my shoulder. I tried to move without waking him but his eyes opened.

"I'm sorry I woke up." I said genuinely.

"W-what, where are we?" Rick asked looking around trying to clear his vision. I was pleasantly shocked to hear that he said a statement that sounded normal and his eyes looked more focused.

"You came here last night looking for Lori's body but then I came to get you to come back to C-block but you weren't moving. So I stayed here." I gently reminded him as his eyes changed in realisation. His eyes became dull and lifeless again upon realising all the events that had transpired the day before. We had lost three people.

"I don't think I ever talked about how my mother died." I started talking as Rick continued looking at his knees.

"You don't talk about your parents at all." Rick spoke. I felt a tiny glimmer of hope, that he wasn't as lost as I thought he was.

"Well you know, I mentioned it when we went to get Hershel from the bar, but I've never spoken about that day to anyone really." I stated.

"What happened?" Rick asked looking forwards.

"The night before, my father well he had gotten really drunk. Even more than usual, and as typical he was taking it out on me. And my mother. He was about to-" I stopped realising I was shaking and never had to tell it out loud before. But I had to swallow the harsh memories and do it for Rick.

"About to do what?" Rick asked his blue eyes peered over to meet mine.

"Assault me." I sighed as Rick's eyes flickered with anger and pity.

"But my mother, she stepped in. I don't know what he did to her because he locked the door. But I listened to my mother scream and scream for hours wishing it would end. When he finally unlocked the door, my mother was lying unconscious on the floor. I waited until my father was gone and rang the ambulance to take her to hospital. She had severe bruises all over her body from being beaten but she insisted that they released her so she could come home with me. The people at the hospital said they were going to call the police and social service were going to come within the next 24 hours." I explained as Rick's eyes never left mine. I could feel the tears that started spilling down my face, not even realising I had been crying.

"Then?" Rick prodded gently as I quickly wiped the tears away.

"I spent the night in bed with my mother. I hugged her and cuddled her as we slept side by side and I actually thought for a moment that it was going to be okay, she kept saying how much she loved me and that my father was going to be out of my life, so that we would be okay." I sighed.

"I went to school the next day, then came home finding police tape and multiple police cars outside my home. They tried to stop me from coming in the house but I pushed past them and just caught a glimpse of my mother's body which had slit wrists being covered on the living room floor." I took a deep breath and just stared at the ground. I peeked out of the corner of my eye and saw Rick looking shocked as he digested the story I told him.

"You didn't have to tell me this," Rick said slowly looking as the early morning light hit the concrete ground in front of us.

"There's a point to me telling you this." I said turning to face him completely.

"My mother died, unhappy with her life, she had a husband who abused her. My bastard father is still alive and stuck in prison. Or hopefully he's dead now." I spat out.

"Lori died." I said in a gentler tone as Rick's jaw clenched and his eyes became watery.

"But Lori was loved, she had a husband who loved her and loved him back. She had a brave, kind son. And now she has a daughter. A beautiful baby daughter. Lori lived a happy life." I said to him as he continued studying his hands.

"We can't bring the ones we love back from the dead. We can honour their memory by trying to survive. You can honour Lori by raising Carl into being a good man, and we can try to make this world a better place for the future generation. Your baby daughter." I said standing up.

"Why don't you come and meet her?" I held out a hand to him as he looked up at me then back at my hand. He took my hand as I helped him up attaching the hatchet back to his waist. I reached up and pushed his hair back behind his ears.

"There you look handsome." I flashed him a small smile and saw the corners of his lips quirk up.

"I'd like to see where you buried her. Lori." Rick gulped looking around the boiler room.

"Sure," I said as I slowly walked out making sure he was following me. This time Rick led the way out into the courtyard as we walked down the steps and pushed the gate open. I began moving forwards to go out into the field when I realised there were no footsteps following me. I turned around and sure enough saw bow-legged Rick standing there with his hands on his hips looking at the ground.

"We don't have to do this now?" I looked up into his eyes as those piercing blue eyes were illuminated by the sun.

"I want to." Rick said firmly after a minute as we slowly walked side by side until we reached three marked graves.

Daryl was wrapped in his poncho leaned over one of them placing a white Cherokee flower. We stood back letting him have a moment as he touched the wooden cross before standing up and walking back. He saw us and stopped like a deer caught in headlights then walked over to us.

"Mornin," Daryl said.

"Hi," I smiled.

"Hey," Rick said.

"You good?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah," Rick said unconvincingly.

"Breakfast will be inside if y'all wanna join us." Daryl said.

"That'd be great thanks Daryl." I gave him a nod and he walked off. The white flower was Carol's grave.

"That's Carol's, T-Dog's And Lori's is the one on the far left." I pointed to the graves. Rick walked over without saying a word and stood in front of Lori's grave. I bent down in front of Carol's and closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry you lived a hard life. I'll look after Daryl." I whispered kissing my fingers then putting it on the grave marker. I saw a bunch of wildflowers growing nearby and a red rose. I picked both and walked over to T-Dog's grave.

"Rest in peace T." I said gently placing the flowers over the mound. I moved to Lori's graves where Rick was on his knees in front of. He sat down next to the grave as I placed the single red rose on the grave marker.

"Bye Lori." I said before standing back up.

"Can I have a minute alone, with Lori?" Rick asked and I nodded.

"Actually I'll meet you back in cell block." Rick said.

"I'll have a plate of food for you."

—-

"How was he?" Maggie asked as she put some powdered eggs into my plate off the fire. I glanced at Carl who was looking at his food untouched.

"He was not good last night. But this morning he came out of the boiler room and he's by Lori's grave now." I said as Carl's ears perked up.

"Is dad gonna be okay?" Carl asked picking at the food.

"He will be kid. He will." I reassured him. I hoped he would be. He needed to be strong. Strong for his kids.

"How is our sweet little baby?" I got up and left my plate to go see the baby. She was in a makeshift crib Daryl had made as I picked her up she was grabbing fistfuls of my hair.

"Hey baby, ooh you're so cute aren't you?" I cooed at her as she made gurgling noises. I pulled her up so her head was over my shoulder and turned around to the others.

"Oh she's a sweetheart isn't she." I grinned as Hershel and Daryl smirked, even Carl smiled a little.

"You're good with kids." Daryl said eating.

"So are you," I grinned bringing the makeshift crib over next to Beth as I put the baby back down. Carl had stopped eating and was staring at the plate. Daryl dropped the spoon and chose to look at Carl in concern.

"Everybody okay?" We all turned around at the voice to see Rick lingering outside the cellblock door.

"Yeah we are," Maggie replied. Rick walked over wearing a different shirt and his hair was wet slightly indicating he had just taken a shower.

"What about you?" Hershel asked tentatively as Rick walked over to stand next to Carl.

"Cleared out the boiler block. There was a dozen or two dozen but I have to get back. Just wanted to check on Carl." Rick said patting his son's back.

"Rick, aren't you gonna stay? We can handle the boiler block, maybe you should take it easy." I stood up and put a comforting hand on his arm. Shit I thought I had gotten through to him.

"We can handle taking out the bodies you don't have to." Glenn stood up suddenly beside me.

"No I do. And I don't need to take it easy." Rick said harshly making me back down from my stance. It was no use. I just had to let him go through this. It was his way of grieving.

"Anybody have a gun or knife." Rick walked up to wear Daryl was sat.

"Yeah, But we're a little low on ammo." Daryl said slowly trying not to set him off.

"Maggie and I were planning to make a run later. A place to look for bullets and formula." Glenn quickly interjected.

"We're cleaning out the lower levels. Axel's in the generator room. We'll take a sweep of it later." Daryl said.

"Good, good." Rick stated rushing towards the cell block door.

"Rick!" I shouted but he ignored me and walked off. I plopped back down on the seat and put my hands on my face.

"I thought you were getting through to him." Daryl said.

"So did I." I sighed.

"You gotta understand, it's not something he's just gonna get over. Not anytime soon." Hershel reassured.

"I know that, I just don't think he should be alone. Maybe I should go back down there and keep an eye on him." I suggested getting ready to get up.

"Pol what you need is good rest now. You've done as much as you can, let me try." Hershel ordered.

"But I can-"

"No you spent the whole night there with him. We can't have you running on fumes, you need to rest." He said assertively. I couldn't deny that there was a crick in my neck and I was absolutely exhausted. Emotionally and physically.

"Okay,"

"Yeah you go, we'll take care of things out 'ere." Daryl said. I walked over to my cell block and shrugged my boots off settling into the bottom bunk. I collapsed on the pillow and closed my eyes settling into a deep sleep.

—

I woke up after some time and stumbled out of my cell seeing Hershel hold the baby and Beth stirring something in the pot. Carl was busy looking at his shoes.

"Hi," Beth said smiling.

"Uh Hey," I said rubbing my eyes.

"Where is everyone?" I asked seeing the empty cell block.

"Maggie and Glenn are on a run, Daryl and Oscar are doing a sweep of the lower levels and Rick-" she started.

"Is still down there?" I sighed as she nodded and went back to stirring her pot presumably making lunch or dinner depending on what time it was.

"How long was I out for?"

"Couple hours." Hershel replied.

"How is she?"

"Got her to sleep." Hershel smiled looking at the baby. I looked at Carl who was still staring at the ground.

"Carl," I caught his attention as he looked up.

"Come here," I gestured for him to come into my cell. He came in and sat on the bed quietly beside me.

"I know it's hard. And I know it hurts." I said gently.

"And I know, it's going to hurt for a while." I continued.

"But trust me when I tell you, it gets easier. And Carl you're so strong and so brave." I rubbed a hand on his back as tears were falling out of his eyes.

"Come here," I pulled Carl into a hug as he buried his head into my chest. I let him stay like that as long as he wanted to hearing his quiet sobs racking through him every now and then. After about 10 minutes he pulled back and his eyes were filled with tears. I wiped his cheeks as he looked up at me.

"You know crying doesn't make you any less weak." I said to him.

"I miss your mother too and Carol and T-Dog." I sighed running a hand through my hair. I stood up and put my boots pushing the sheet back hanging from the cell door.

"I don't think I'm ready to come out yet." Carl sniffled keeping the hat low over his face.

"Take your time." I gave him an encouraging smile.

I handed him my CD player from my pack and all the CDs I had.

"Knock yourself out." I dropped them into his hands as he put his feet up on my bed.

"Hey Pol?" Carl asked as I turned back around.

"Thank you," He said the corners of his mouth lifting.

"Anytime," I smiled and pushed the sheet back down fixing Carl his privacy.

"How is he?" Hershel asked as I came out of the cell.

"He'll be okay. He's a strong kid." I said sure of myself. I walked over to where Beth was ready to help her when I heard slow approaching footsteps. Rick's shadow came slowly into view as he stood outside the cell door.

"Carl," I called out as he emerged from my cell and sat down next to Beth, his eyes lighting up slightly as his father walked in. He walked past where we were sitting without saying a word and straight to Hershel holding his daughter.

Rick stopped in front of Hershel with watery eyes and took a sharp intake of breath as the baby began to whimper. He looked at Hershel with almost permission as we watched the interaction. The baby began to cry as Rick picked her up with one hand behind her head and one behind her lower body as he looked at her with the utmost love and adoration in his eyes. I let a genuine smile cross my face seeing him hold his daughter for the first time.

Carl and Beth stood up and I looked at Carl who gave his dad a small smile.

"Hey," Rick said holding her up to his face.

She started gurgling and making sounds as Rick's face broke out into a wide smile. Rick looked up tears in his eyes and pressed the baby back to his chest. They were happy tears.

I felt my own vision getting hazy and realised my own tears coming out of my eyes in happiness for this moment. Rick kissed her forehead then looked at me and smiled. I couldn't help but smile back as Carl went over to his father to play with the baby.

Rick led his baby daughter outside the cell block, through the cafeteria and into the courtyard with me, Carl, Beth and Hershel in tow. He couldn't keep his eyes of the baby in his arms as if he couldn't believe the miracle.

"She looks like you." He quipped to Carl who let out a genuine giggle. Rick looking happier smiled out into the field before he started frowning.

"Hey, you got her?" Rick passed his daughter to Carl who held her securely.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"Come with me." He said as I followed his across the field. We walked down the long gravelly pathway past the guard tower and squinted due to the hot Georgia sun.

"I thought I saw someone by the fence." He said putting his hand over his eyes. I tilted my head to where he was looking at as the Walkers outside the fence began to growl more.

He pulled his gun out of his holster and I pulled mine out pointing it towards the Walkers. There was someone walking towards us, very slowly holding a red basket. Someone who wasn't a Walker. She put her fingers on the fence and was covered in Walker blood. Wait I know her. I lowered my gun as Rick kept his pointed at the stranger.

"Michonne?"

 **A/N: oooh and the plot thickens. Thoughts?**


	22. Chapter 22 - I Trust Her

**A/N: Hey everybody, yes I know I said I would update everyday and its been three days since my last update but I have to tell you I've been busy trying to finish assignments for uni. Also wouldn't you rather I take a little longer to update but write a good chapter? I'm proud to announce as of last chapter we are over 100k words! Without the support of my readers and followers I would have never got this far and wanted to keep going so thank you all :) I've finally fully caught up with TWD, watched mid-season finale for season 8 and now I get why people are pissed.**

 **Thanks for all the support and love for this story including my new follower Biancahurst and to my lovely reviewers!**

 **MaxThe3Dwaffle: Sidenote your name first off is awesome! and omg you read it all in one day? wow that is dedication thank you so much, I'm so glad you like it! Omg me too Lori's death always makes me cry, it's so emotional and heart broken.**

 **Ryane: Haha I hope I don't disappoint you but as you know Michonne isn't a hugger, you'll see what happens.**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: Aww it's okay! I'm just glad you're still with me and still enjoying this I hope!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and my storyline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags.**

"Hey," She said quietly from the outer fence looking at Rick intensely still holding the red basket.

"Rick, I know her. That's Michonne, the woman I told you about. The one who I hung around with for 9 months and the one who saved me from that place." I explained in a low voice as he turned his head to listen to me then focused his gaze back on the woman in front.

I walked towards the gate to open the fence when Rick held a hand a hand out to stop me. Carl ran down from where they were standing and stopped.

"Rick, what are you doing? I trust her." I asked confused.

"We gotta be quick before the scent wears off." I urged but he made no move.

I looked back at Michonne who was wearing a mask of calm over her face but I saw her put her hand to her side, wincing as I saw blood dripping out of a bullet hole.

"She's hurt." I said.

"Rick open the gate." I pleaded but he stood there with his head tilted squinting at Michonne who was looking just as intently back at her.

"Rick," I said more forcefully this time as he looked at me.

"Dad, should we help her?" Carl asked in front of the outer fence.

"Dammit Rick!" I growled looking at him slightly annoyed.

He let go of me and I ran to the outer gate where Michonne began cutting down the walkers with her katana. She sliced through the heads until her legs gave way and she stumbled falling on the ground.

I came out with my machete and stopped the Walkers from getting to her. I heard gunshots from behind me and saw Carl shoot a Walker that was about to bit into my neck. I nodded at the boy who smiled. More Walkers appeared, as I stood my ground over Michonne slicing into them as the decaying flesh marred the grass around the prison.

"Carl!" I heard Rick shout as he suddenly appeared behind me. Rick came outside with his gun and shot a few of them. Carl ran to get the basket and went back inside the gate. By the time we were done, I was breathing heavily and gave Rick a grateful nod.

I looked at Michonne on the floor who had passed out and was losing blood.

"Quick," I said in alarm.

"Is she bit?" Hershel asked on his crutches leaning by the gate. I bent down next to her body with Rick and lifted her shirt up to check. Rick checked her leg through the ripped trousers.

"Gunshot." He said keeping an eye on the fact more Walkers emerged from the forest attracted by the sounds of the gunshot. I tried to find a way to lift her but to no avail. Rick gently nudged me to the side and picked her up before leaning her head over his shoulder, I steadied him as we rushed inside heading back towards the prison.

"Sorry, for shouting earlier," I said nervously walking by his side.

"It's alright." He said after some time.

"She's your friend, I get it and I trust you. But I didn't know her, I wasn't sure and I need to be." Rick explained and I nodded as we took her inside the prison.

"Carl get a blanket. Beth, water and a towel." I instructed them as we brought Michonne inside the cafeteria.

"Alright, I'm laying her down now." Rick said as I held Michonne's upper body.

"Okay, go." I said as between us we placed her on the ground. Hershel caught up to us on his crutches. I took Michonne's katana and placed it away from her body, knowing she would go straight into defensive mode, waking up in a new place.

"Here?" Carl asked laying down the blanket.

"Yeah, she's not coming in the cell block." Rick said. I flashed him a look and he gave me an intense stare. It was a look that said it was non-negotiable.

"Woah, steady now." Rick whispered settling her on the floor. Beth handed the water bottle to Rick as he poured it over Michonne's face and neck she began coming back to consciousness.

"It's alright, it's alright." Rick repeated putting his hand up in surrender as she started breathing quickly trying to open her eyes.

"Michonne, calm down. It's me, Pol." I said gently pushing the hair out of her face.

"Look at me. Look at me. It's okay." Rick said. Michonne opened her eyes wide looking at Rick then glanced to her katana. I looked at her and shook my head slowly.

"Who are you?" Rick asked.

"Hey, look at me, look at-" Rick started but Michonne reached out for her katana before I kicked it away with my foot and glared at her.

"We're not gonna hurt you, unless you try something stupid first." Rick said clearly to Michonne.

"Like that," I narrowed my eyes at Michonne knowing she was going to make this difficult.

"You trust me don't you?" I turned her attention to me as she nodded.

"You can trust him too," I gestured to Rick.

"And them." I pointed to Carl, Hershel and Beth who was holding the baby.

"Rick, who the hell is this?" I looked up seeing Daryl walk in apprehensively staring at Michonne.

"This is Michonne," I said loudly to Daryl as she glared at me.

"She was with me and Andrea for the last 8 months. We hunted together and protected each other. She can be trusted." I emphasised.

"Then what is she doin' here?" Daryl asked.

"That's what we're trying to find out." Rick said eyeing Michonne with suspicion.

"Is there a problem?" Rick asked.

"You might wanna come an' see this," Daryl stated. Hershel and Beth followed Daryl out of the room as Carl picked up the red basket and also left leaving Rick and me bending in front of Michonne who was sitting against a gate.

"I'm gonna take this," Rick held up Michonne's katana as she eyed him with mistrust.

"You'll be safe inside these walls, the doors will be locked, nothing's gonna get you in here and we'll get someone to look at that." Rick said standing up.

"I didn't ask for your help." Michonne spat out and I closed my eyes in frustration.

"Michonne," I hissed warningly.

"Doesn't matter, can't let you leave." Rick said dismissively walking away.

"Hold on a second." I said to Michonne before jogging over to him.

"Rick," I called as he stopped and turned around.

"Is it really necessary to keep her locked up here? I said I know here and that we could trust her. She can be defensive at times but trust me, she's a loyal ally to have. And a good friend." I finished looking at up him. I had to try and remember to not get too angry or annoyed with him, particularly how sensitive and vulnerable he was from Lori's loss.

"I know you trust her and I know she's your friend. But none of the group know her. I don't know her." Rick said lowly glancing behind me.

"Shouldn't my word be enough?" I sighed asking him.

"Yes it should," Rick ran a hand through his hair.

"But, we've lost too much already for me to risk this anymore." Rick said putting hands on his hips. I looked up at him and realised he wasn't going to change his stance.

"Fine," I said reluctantly.

"Look Pol," he touched my shoulder.

"We'll treat her well and see what she has to say. If what she says lines up with what you say, then we don't need to keep her locked up." He said gently as he left his arm down.

"Okay," I said.

"Just let me talk to her," Rick thought for a moment then nodded standing back with the keys and holding the katana in his hand.

"Okay, Michonne," I leaned down in front of her.

"Can I go?" she asked holding her side.

"Not exactly, our leader, that guy Rick? He's gonna want to ask you a few questions first. To see if our stories line up and if you cooperate, then." I stated.

"I don't owe him anything." Michonne said groaning in pain.

"I know Michonne, just please cooperate." I emphasised pleading with her.

"Maybe," She said after a while. I rolled my eyes and began standing up before she held out an arm.

"Hey, I'm glad, you found your people. They seem, alright. Well some of them." She narrowed her eyes at Rick making me chuckle.

"Rick's nice once you get to know him." I reassured her.

"Oh and when they come to clean up your injury. For the love of god please don't resist." I narrowed my eyes at her as she nodded reluctantly and I walked past Rick out of the cell. Rick shut the door and locked it behind him.

Daryl was standing in front of an open cell waiting for us.

"What did you want to show us?" I prompted him. I saw movement behind him as a bloody and dirty Carol lifted her head up smiling at us.

"Carol!" I squealed as I tackled her into a hug on the bed making her laugh.

"Hey, be careful," Daryl warned. I got off Carol and helped her sit up as she smiled. She used the top bunk to help her stand up as Rick's face broke out into a wide smile and a sigh of relief, she wrapped her arms around his neck as they hugged. I glanced over to Daryl who was smiling to himself.

"How?" Hershel smiled incredulously hopping to give Carol a hug. I stood beside Daryl who was leaning against the cell looking at Carol with pure adoration. I nudged him smiling as he looked down at me and shook his head.

"Poor thing fought her way into a cell and passed out right there." Daryl said crossing his arms across his chest.

Hershel stepped back revealing Beth holding Rick's daughter. Carol gasped and smiled looking at her. Then her smile faded as she looked back at Rick and tears filled her eyes. Rick nodded before his eyes teared up.

"I'm sorry," Carol whispered to Rick putting her hands on either side of his face.

"I'm sorry," she repeated and started sobbing and let go of him going to the corner of the cell. Rick was crying silently as I walked past Daryl and wrapped my arms around his midsection he let his head fall on my shoulders.

"Shh," I reached up to smooth down his hair as he let go and nodded rubbing his eyes. Carol came back and touched the baby smiling down at her.

Beth took the baby and Carl followed her talking as they walked back down to C-block. Hershel took Carol back to the cells to rest after all she had been through.

"Daryl I need you with me when we question Michonne." Rick said.

"I'm coming too." I said firmly as Rick and Daryl gave each other a look.

"What?" I asked.

"You're too emotionally involved in this." Rick stated.

"Obviously," I rolled my eyes.

"And if the situation begins to get out of hand, I can calm her down because I know her." I countered.

"If it gets outta hand, we can handle it." Daryl said gruffly.

"Come on guys," I pleaded.

"If you guys are trying to get information from her, I know her she'll be reluctant to tell you anything but I might be able to convince her. You know it makes sense." I pointed out.

"Alright." Rick said as Daryl also reluctantly agreed.

"Great!"

Daryl opened the cell with the keys and stood to one side of the room with his crossbow in hand. Rick walked in followed by me and Hershel in his crutches.

"We can tend to that wound for you, give you a little food and water. Then you can be on your way." Rick said as I glared at the back of his head. It occurred to me that even though Michonne got here, she may not have wanted to stay. Then why did she come?

"But you're gonna have to tell us how you found us." Rick stated his hand hovering over the gun in his holster.

That was a good point, I can't believe I hadn't thought of that either. I looked up at Michonne questioningly. How did she find us?

"And why were you carrying the formula?" I interjected then looked at Rick apologetically. Michonne said nothing staring at the ground for a while before looking at me, I raised my eyebrows at her pleading her to cooperate.

"Supplies were dropped by a young Asian guy with a pretty girl." She said and my heart stopped in my chest. Glenn. It dawned on me that Glenn and Maggie hadn't returned from the supply run, yet a basket carrying baby formula appears with Michonne. Oh no. What if the governor had got to them. I started panicking and looked at Rick who's jaw clenched with worry.

"What happened?" Rick asked trying to stay calm.

"Where they attacked?" Hershel asked.

"They were taken." Michonne answered shortly.

"Taken, taken by whom?" Rick asked tilting to the side.

"By the same sonofabitch who shot me." Michonne said venomously.

"Hey, these were our people." Rick said bending down on the floor in front of her.

"You tell us what happened," He said lowly.

"Now!" He shouted before he lunged forward and pressed his hand where Michonne got shot making her groan in pain.

"Hey!" I shouted jumping between Rick and Michonne pushing him back.

"Don't you ever touch me!" She pointed a finger angrily at Rick.

"What the hell Rick?!" I said pissed off he would do something like that.

"You better start talking, or you'll have a much bigger problem than a gunshot wound." I looked to the side and saw Daryl had his crossbow up ready to fire at Michonne.

"Guys, calm the fuck down. What the hell is wrong with you guys?! I said we could trust her, just let her tell you what happened." I said frustrated as Rick was seething quietly.

"Find him yourself," Michonne spat out as I turned to glare at her.

"Could you be more helpful?" I asked her angrily as she said nothing. I backed out of the way from Michonne as Rick pulled the crossbow down. Michonne came and stood in front of Rick as I stood beside her.

"You came here for a reason." Rick said calmly to her. Michonne glanced at me and I nodded encouragingly.

"There's a town, called Woodbury with about 75 survivors." Michonne said and I smiled triumphantly. Rick glanced at me then back at her.

"We know it. Pol told us." Rick said.

"They may have been taken there." Michonne said.

"It's run by this guy called the Governor. Pretty boy, charming." Michonne said lowly and I scoffed.

"Hardly." I spat.

"They got muscle?" Rick asked me.

"They're military wannabes, armed sentries on every wall." I explained.

"You guys know a way in?" Rick asked looking between us.

"It's pretty secure from Walkers but we could definitely slip in." Michonne stated, I looked at her in surprise, shocked she was actually considering helping us.

"How did you find your way here?" Rick mused suspiciously.

"They mentioned a prison, said which direction it was in, said it was a straight shot. And Pol talked about finding her old group and that you guys might be holed up in some major place." Michonne shrugged. Rick looked at her disbelievingly and I could see the clear mistrust in his eyes as he looked at her with caution.

"This is Hershel." He said after a while.

"Father of the girl that got taken, he'll take a look at your leg." Rick stated before walking off as Daryl followed him.

"Thank god that's over." I sighed as Michonne was glaring at me.

"What?"

"I thought you said they were a good group," Michonne said accusingly.

"They are!" I defended.

"They're just a bit mistrusting." I said sheepishly.

"A bit." Michonne scoffed.

"What Rick did crossed the line though." I folded my arms over my chest and frowned. I wanted to chalk it up to the fact Rick had just lost Lori and he was in this grieving period but part of me believed this new harder Rick was permanent.

"Oh God, you're not gonna make a big deal of it?" Michonne asked incredulously.

"I'm already over it." She stated.

"I'm not. I'll just talk to him. Play nice." I said warningly before walking away.

"Hershel you need any help?" I asked him and the old man shook his head and smiled before hobbling over to Michonne with his medical supplies. Carl came in to keep watch in case she did anything rash whilst Hershel cleaned and stitched up the bullet hole.

I walked back out of the cafeteria and through the long passageways leading back to cell block C before I heard raised voices.

"How do we know we can trust her?"

"This is Maggie and Glenn I don't even know why we're debating this."

"From what I've heard the place is pretty secure." Rick said.

"It is, you can't go alone." I stated as the rest of the group turned to face me.

"I'll go." Beth said.

"Me too." Axel agreed.

"I'm here." Oscar reassured Rick. The group set off, and those going packed provisions, guns and ammunitions for the roads and those that were staying settled in their cells.

"You coming?" Rick asked as the rest of the group dispersed.

"Yeah," I said nonchalantly still annoyed for what he did to Michonne, he seemed to pick up on my bad mood but said nothing about it. We went outside as Daryl and Oscar loaded my car with tear gas, weapons, bullets and guns. Carl came out holding bags as Daryl helped him load them into the car we were taking.

"Be careful with my baby!" I said warningly as they roughly put the supplies in.

Carol was standing by the stairs of the courtyard rocking the baby as Beth slid open the gate door with Axel to help her. I saw Michonne limping outside and talking to her looking around the prison perimeter.

"Carl," Rick called his son over and they went privately to talk. I crossed my arms over my chest watching them as Hershel came up behind me and Daryl stood next to me.

"You alright?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Fine. Why?" I gritted.

"Because you look like you're ready to put a bullet in Rick." Hershel replied eyeing me curiously.

"I'm guessing it's to do with what he did to your friend in there." Hershel stated.

"Might be." I said curtly.

"He was being cautious-"

"I know what he was being Hershel, it was an asshole thing to do." I said frowning.

"Yeah it was, but the guy just lost his wife, cut him a bit of slack." Daryl nudged me and loaded the rest of the supplies in the car.

"I know Daryl." I sighed.

"Oscar, if you shut that car door roughly I will shoot you." I threatened him as he gently closed the back of my black BMW. He put his hands up in surrender.

"So what's the problem?" Daryl came back crossbow in hand.

"Michonne is the same to me as you guys. Okay she was there for me when I thought I was alone. I owe her my life. Twice." I emphasised.

"I'm sorry." Daryl said.

"For what?"

"For pointing the crossbow at her." he said.

"It's alright, you guys wanted to be sure, I get it." I relented.

Rick finished talking to Carl as they came out from behind the building walking side by side with a slight smile on his face.

"Pol," Rick called and I walked over to him.

"Yeah?"

"Are we good?" Rick asked and I prompted for him to continue.

"I'm sorry for what I did to your friend, I just wasn't sure and I needed to know if we could rely on her. I know what you said and your word should've been enough but after what happened." Rick got choked up and his eyes went red.

I reached forward and leaned on my tiptoes wrapping my arms around his neck as his arms came up near my shoulders. I could feel his heart beating and the warmth radiating off his body was so inviting and felt so safe I felt myself blush.

"Don't be sorry, you've been through a lot these past couple days. And I get it." I whispered in his ear. I pulled apart and gave him a smile which he returned hoping my cheeks weren't pink.

"Let's go!" Daryl called out as we headed towards my car. Rick was about to get in driver's seat when I stopped him.

"Uh-uh, my car Grimes." I narrowed my eyes at him and he smirked heading over to the passenger's seat. Hershel and Beth came up to the front as I opened the car door.

"Bring them back," Hershel said as I nodded to them and smiled. I looked back at Carl, Carol and the baby and waved at them. Getting in the car with Rick in the front passenger seat and Oscar and Daryl sitting behind looking uncomfortable in the lack of space and Michonne stuffed in the middle. I glanced in the rear-view mirror and smirked at them.

"Remind me why we're takin' this car?" Daryl said gruffly.

"Because it's the fastest." I said simply.

"Why isn't Pol sitting back here, she's the smallest?" Oscar complained.

"Because a) it's my car and b) you're more than welcome to ride in the car boot?" I turned around glancing to both of them who didn't answer.

"No? Good." I started the car and we took off as Axel opened the outer fence for the car to drive through.

"How long to Woodbury?" Rick opened up the map.

"Bout 60 miles, if we keep to the highway, should take an hour maybe a bit more." I said as I drove fast down the empty road. I pushed my Led Zeppelin CD into the CD player and pressed play cranking the volume up.

We were on our way to Woodbury. We were going to get Maggie and Glenn back. Hopefully they were unharmed but knowing Merle Dixon, probably not.

"I'll get us there in an hour." I put a firm grip on the steering wheel and went up to the highest gear. We had to get there in time.

"We should pull over here." I stated recognising this road just off near Woodbury, I glanced at Michonne who nodded as I pulled the car over and switched it off.

"They have patrols. We're better off on foot." Michonne stated limping.

"Hey, you good for this?" I asked Michonne standing next to her.

"You could always wait in the car." I suggested and she gave me a look.

"I had to try." I defended as I walked by her side.

"How far? Night's coming." Rick said looking up at the sky.

"It's a mile, maybe 2." Michonne shrugged.

Daryl, Rick and Oscar took rifles from the back and handed me one with a box of bullets. I stored them in my pack and checked it was loaded slinging it over my back. I pulled out the colt from my holster and opened it up, checking it was fully loaded. I had sharpened my machete just before we left the compound. I looked up at the growling sounds and saw a stray Walker growling and coming towards us. It was no threat to us.

Daryl closed the back door of the car and walked off into the woods with Michonne leading the way to Woodbury. The sun was hanging low in the sky and the heat was intense as I felt sweat beads gathering on my back. We walked in relative silence down a path that cut through the forest. Wow if only I had known about this when I was making my way towards the prison.

"I know what you two did for me, for my baby while I was, workin' things out." Rick said as I walked in between him and Daryl.

"Thank you." Rick said.

"It's what we do." Daryl grunted.

"We're family." I looked into his intense blue eyes and he nodded looking ahead.

"Carl thought of a name for the baby," Rick said the corners of his lips turning up into a half smile.

"Oh?" I asked.

"Judith." He stated.

"Beautiful name." I smiled.

"I preferred lil asskicker." Daryl joked as we laughed.

"Rick," Daryl said lowly.

"Down." Rick ordered the rest of the group as we ducked down out of the line of the trees. A dozen or so Walkers stumbled out of the woods, all groaning with their jaws snapping eyeing their next prey. Us.

"Get in formation. No gunfire." Rick said quietly edging forward and slicing the face of a Walker with his knife. Daryl walked forward, the hunter light on his feet, firing arrows which hit the Walkers directly in their brains. I pulled out my machete and picked off the stray Walkers which were trying to attack us, slicing their heads clean off. Oscar cut down a few of the Walkers whilst Michonne stayed watch. We were doing well until more appeared and we were surrounded.

"There's too many of them." Daryl spat pulling out his knife as they backed up towards us. We sliced the walkers that got too close and picked up our packs.

"This way," Rick lightly grabbed my arm and pulled me after him as we hurried off into the other side of the forest. We ran faster trying to evade the increasing amount of walkers.

"Through there. Come on!" Rick urged the others as we came across a cabin. I pushed the door open machete out with Rick by my side,

"Get the door!" He said as the five of us were inside the dark abandoned cabin in the woods. Our noses were immediately assaulted with the smell of decaying corpses seemingly all around us. They switched the torches on shining it in various points in the room.

"Keep it down." Rick whispered as walkers banged against the window.

"That smell, it's loud." Daryl said in disgust as I held my nose trying to not gag at the smell.

"What is that?" Oscar asked shining his light at the far corner of the cabin. I walked ahead as Rick shone the torch on a dead dog, I turned my face back at the smell.

"I guess Lassie went home." Daryl scoffed. The Walkers pounded on the door behind us trying to rip apart the wooden boards.

"Now what?" Michonne looked around apprehensively. Rick quietly whistled to me and Daryl as he shone the touch over a blanket.

"Rick, I wouldn't do that." I whispered next to him.

"I'll be careful." He said reaching his hand out and pulled the blanket back slowly. A man suddenly jumped out and my arm went in front of Rick pushing him back as the man's gun pushed me into Rick.

"Who the hell are you?" He shouted looking in alarm at all of us.

"Get outta my house!" He said loudly as the Walker's scratches and pounding got more desperate outside the barn.

"Okay, okay, okay." Rick held a hand out trying to calm the man down.

"We will but we can't right now." Rick said as Daryl held out his knife looking at the man.

"Get out now!" the man continued shouting.

"Shut him up." Michonne said worriedly looking at the door.

"There are Walkers outside!" Rick whispered harshly. The man glanced at Daryl holding a knife towards him as my machete was also pointing to him.

"I'll call the cops." The man threatened.

"I am a cop. Now I need you to lower your gun." Rick said in a calming voice. He bent down to the floor and placed his rifle on the ground.

"Let's just take this nice and slow," Rick held his hands out as the man's arms were shaking holding the rifle.

"Show me your badge!" The man demanded as he took the safety off and pointing the gun at Rick. I looked at the man's eyes and saw a scared, desperate man. He was going to do whatever it took. Rick knocked the gun out of his hands and wrapped him in a chokehold.

The man bit him and tried to make a run for it when I twisted the knife into the base of the skull as he dropped to the floor. I looked at the blood pooling at my feet and stepped back my hand shaking slightly. I put the machete into my belt and looked at Michonne as she nodded to me. Oscar and Daryl were looking at me with unreadable expressions as I was breathing heavily.

This was the first man I killed who didn't harm me first. Alejandro, Duane and his gang assaulted me and tortured me. Amy was dying, turning into a walker. But this man. He was just scared. Afraid.

My hands were shaking as Rick slowly walked up to me and put his hands in mine clasping his fingers around them.

"Okay?" He leaned down looking at me in the eyes as I turned my face away from the dead body. I nodded slowly and he released my hands.

"Daryl help me with the door." Rick picked up the man's body off the floor as Daryl looked out through the wooden boards.

"You gotta be kiddin'," Oscar shook his head and went to check the back.

"It's clear." Oscar cracked open the back door.

"One, two, three!" Daryl opened the door as Michonne helped Rick throw the man's body out to the walkers who were momentarily distracted. They took the bait and began feasting on the man as I stood frozen to my spot. Daryl, Oscar and Michonne snuck out the back door as Rick got my attention.

"Pol!" He said as I snapped out of it and looked to him seeing the cabin was empty.

"We gotta go," He said in a gentler tone. I nodded as he held my hand pulling me out of the cabin until I returned to my senses and ran alongside him determined to rescue Glenn and Maggie. We found our way through the woods and reached just outside of the Woodbury perimeter gate hiding behind the car.

"Are you up for this?" Rick asked me honestly.

"Yeah," I muttered.

"Yes." I said more firmly as we nodded looking back at the gate. It was nightfall now, completely dark, giving us an advantage to infiltrate it. But the patrols and guards were most certainly doubled.

"I'm up for this."

 **A/N: I hope you don't hate me for this chapter and the slight discourse between our two lovebirds but that's how I think Pol would handle that. Thoughts?**


	23. Chapter 23 - Rescue Op

**A/N: As promised, staying right on schedule with my updating. And what better way to start 2018 than with a new chapter! and on that note, happy new year! This chapter is action filled so I'm afraid we don't get as many emotional moments between Rick/Pol but we get a couple, a lot happens in this chapter and most likely the next chapter but I'll try to include developments as much as I can.**

 **Thanks to all the support and love for this story, welcome to Kimberleejo who's just favourited and followed! And I can't forget my lovely reviewers:**

 **Ryane: Haha unfortunately I'm not going to tell you how long you'll be waiting for because it's all part of the surprise :3 But just ignore all the agonising, torturing, fluffiness between them. this chapter doesn't have a lot of it, it was more plot focused.**

 **JasminJW: As always your little comments are much appreciated and I agree I have much love for my queen Michonne x**

 **Guest: Hi guest, first off I wanna say thank you for taking the time to read my story and thank you so much for the constructive criticism! Okay so I read through chapter 22 and I understand what you're saying. I see your frustration but I stand by my decision to write her in the way I did for that chapter because this is what's going through Pol's head: so Rick lost Lori and he's not in the right state of mind right now, she saw him down in the prison the way that he was unhinged killing all those walkers. she's concerned that something might set him off again and right now they need to focus on their rescue mission to get Maggie and Glenn back. As to what you said about them leaving her behind, back at the farm they didn't know she was still alive, because they saw the Walkers go down on Andrea and Pol assuming she was dead. As to her sticking up for Michonne, I hope you see in this chapter she does defend Michonne to the best of her ability when the others are not trusting of Michonne. Having said all of that I completely understand where you're coming from and I think I have been writing Pol a little too OOC in the last couple of chapters. I appreciate your review as it's help me think of it as another perspective and I hope you don't think any less of me as a fanfic writer and I hope that I've portrayed her better here. I look forward to seeing your thoughts.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and plotline.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags.**

The men on the perimeter gate were rotating floodlights across the ground searching for Walkers or any intruders. I was eager to get to Maggie and Glenn, the Governor seemed predatory to me and I hoped he hadn't done any horrible things to them yet. My thoughts moved back to the man I had killed just an hour ago and I felt my anxiety coming back.

No. Not now, have to keep it together for now.

I heard movement from behind me and watched as Michonne snuck off by herself.

"Hey, Hey!" Rick whispered urgently but she was already gone.

"Dammit!" He muttered frustrated.

I got up from my leaning position when I was yanked back down to the ground by a forceful arm of someone much stronger than me.

"Ow!" I looked at the culprit and saw Rick holding my arm. He flashed me an apologetic look as I glared at him. We backed off until we were fully hidden behind the car as Daryl and Oscar also bent down to the ground so we were huddled.

"Alright we need to downsize." Rick said looking at the guards. We all took our rifles out and checked them for ammunition before positioning them over the car.

"Ain't no way we can check all those buildings." Daryl said looking at the high rise towers inside the gate.

"Not with all those guards there." I emphasised.

"How'd you get out first time?" Rick asked.

"Sewers," I winced remembering how disgusting it was down there.

"How did they not see you when you came out?" Daryl asked.

"I got lucky, there weren't many guards and the ones that were, were distracted. There's no way we can use those potholes now, not with the searchlights on them." I pointed to the concrete. Suddenly the leaves rustled from behind us and we all pointed our rifles up ready to fire when Michonne came out with her hands up.

I sighed, relieved she was safe and that it wasn't someone from Woodbury or a walker. She looked at us with wide eyes and pointed towards the trees before disappearing back in. I held the rifle in one hand and shrugged following her into the woods. I looked back at Rick, Daryl and Oscar who stood there before I beckoned them forwards to follow us.

We snuck in through a crack in one of the old building walls and made our way into another building which looked familiar. This was the same building Andrea was treated in. There were jars of food and knick knacks on shelves which expanded the entire length of the room. We walked slowly across the creaky floorboards with Michonne in front.

"This is where you were held?" Rick asked her.

"Questioned." She corrected him. Daryl light on his feet, tiptoed across the room and lifted the floral curtain from the back door. Where there were flickering lights. We joined him and pulled it back seeing the flames lighting up the street and people walking across the road.

"Thought you said there was a curfew," Daryl asked Michonne suspiciously.

"No she's right, the street is packed during the day." I defended.

"Those are stragglers." Michonne stated.

"If anyone comes in here we're sitting ducks. We gotta move." Rick said firmly peeking out of the window.

"They could be in his apartment." Michonne said after a moment.

"Yeah, what if they ain't?" Daryl came up to her face.

"Then we'll look someone else." I looked between them both as nudged Daryl back. The last thing we needed was to start an argument, we needed to have our wits about us.

"You said you could help us." Rick said annoyed walking past her.

"I'm doing what I can." Michonne defended using the same annoyed tone.

"Rick cut her a break." I was starting to get pissed off with the way he was treating her, particularly after I told Rick that I trusted her with my life.

"Then where the hell are they?" Oscar asked.

"How would she know? She wasn't here when they got taken." I said to the rest of the group.

"Maybe we should split up, fan out and cover more ground." I suggested.

"We're not going our own ways." Rick said.

"I mean break off into smaller groups." I clarified.

"That might work." Daryl said after thinking for a moment. Rick, Daryl and Oscar walked towards the back of the room and I knew they were about to have a private conversation without Michonne.

"Just let me talk to these idiots." I reassured her following them.

"If this goes south, we're cutting her loose." Rick said as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"It's not going to go south. And we are not cutting her loose." I glared at him emphasising my mind.

"Look, we're splitting off into smaller groups, why don't Pol go with Michonne," Daryl said slinging the crossbow over his back.

"Yeah," I said.

"I wanna keep an eye on her." Rick said.

"Dammit Rick, she risked her life to bring the formula to us. For your daughter. It might be time to cut her slack." I said as Rick swallowed and nodded.

"Okay then you come with me and Michonne and Daryl stays with Oscar. All good?" I asked.

We heard the doorknob rattle as we ducked down behind the shelves trying to stay hidden in the darkness. The door opened as a man with a light came in and began looking around.

"I know you're in here, I saw you move through the curtain." The man in the baseball cap called out. I looked at Rick with a worried expression as he kept a finger to his lips.

"Alright now, you're not supposed to be in here, you know it." The man's voice was getting closer. I pulled out my colt and clicked the safety off quietly as Rick did the same with his gun, Daryl loaded his crossbow as he approached where we were hiding.

"Come on out no-" Rick and me pushed the man back against the wall our guns pointed up against him.

"Shut up now and get on your knees." Rick ordered as he shoved the man to the ground.

"Now hands behind your back." He intrusted forcefully as I held my gun up to his face.

"Tie him." Rick said to Daryl who quickly bound his wrists together.

"Where are our people?" He asked the man and also trained his gun on his face.

"You're holding some of our people where the hell are they?" Rick asked roughly pushing him.

"I don't know!" The man said.

I looked into his eyes and saw that he seemed like he genuinely had no idea what we were talking about. But I had been fooled before. I glanced at Rick who looked like he was thinking the same thing and stuffed a rag into the man's mouth as Daryl knocked him out with the end of his crossbow.

"Do we always have to kill people or knock them out?" I whined mostly to myself. I helped Rick move his body to the other side of the room as I stood up from bending down and straightened out my back.

"Ahh," I groaned in pain, I still had damage there, an old injury thanks to dear old dad.

"Back bothering you?" Rick asked looking at me.

"Yeah, it's an old injury." I said curtly and Rick raised an eyebrow asking me to explain.

"My dad." I whispered as Rick's jaw nodded in understanding.

"We'll have Hershel look at it when we get back." Rick said reassuringly.

"I happen to actually be good at massaging." Rick said out of nowhere making me snort and laugh. I looked back at his face to see him cracking a smile.

"I'm actually serious, after Lori's pregnancy with Carl, she used to have bad back pain and I used to get the knots and muscle cramps out of her back." Rick explained with a wistful smile.

"Oh you're actually serious," I said slightly shocked.

"Might be." Rick said smirking as I shook my head.

"I'm serious about what I said before Rick. You need to learn to trust Michonne, because if you let Merle come back to the group, then she's definitely coming back." I crossed my arms not changing stance.

"We'll see." Rick said after a while.

Suddenly there was rapid gunfire from outside the building as we all whipped our heads around towards the door. We had our rifles out as Rick opened the door to see people running around trying to get to their houses in a state of panic. He snuck out keeping close to the ground and the wall behind him, motioning us to follow him. I came out after pointing my rifle towards the street with Michonne unsheathing her katana, Oscar with his rifle and Daryl ready with his crossbow.

We walked up the street ducking down into the shadows whenever any of the guards ran past before we came into an old building the gunfire had come from. Rick snuck ahead of us quietly opening the door as the walls were dirty with grime and blood. We came to the end of the corridor and another half open door when Rick slunk against the wall as someone walked past. There was no one in the old, dimly lit room as we followed him quickly scanning the room with the rifle before ducking down behind the door of another room hearing Merle's voice ring out.

"On your feet. Move!" A man called out as Daryl tried to look through the window then bent down back to the ground.

"Come on," The man said as their footsteps echoing were getting closer to our hiding place.

"Shit!" Rick growled as we each scrambled for the tear gas in the bag and threw them across the room going back through the doors we came. We heard groaning coming from the soldiers as they dropped to the floor engulfed in the gas and allowing us to make our escape from their sight. We came back in the room as the soldiers dropped Glenn and Maggie.

Rick pulled off Glenn's hood and we saw his face covered in blood and was beaten wearing no shirt. Me and Daryl pulled Maggie along as Oscar kept his rifle out ready to cover us. We escaped from the room with the tear gas as shots were being fired towards us we ran outside. I took off Maggie's hood and Daryl undid her restraints as well as Glenn as we supported them running through the streets whilst everyone was occupied. I looked at Maggie's relieved face but could see they had gone through hell.

"I'm so happy you're okay," I squeezed her hand and she gave me a weak smile as Rick lead us along holding Glenn with one arm. We found an empty building as Glenn doubled over in pain, Maggie supported him on the other side. I opened the door quickly pointing my rifle out into the dark building but no one was there, as Daryl ran in beside me. We checked the whole room was safe as the door closed behind us. Glenn collapsed onto the floor as Maggie helped sit him up.

"Ain't no way out back here!" Daryl called out from the back room.

"Rick how did you find us?" Maggie said urgently checking over Glenn.

"How bad is he hurt?" Rick asked holding his rifle. I placed mine on the floor and sat on the other side of Glenn inspecting his face.

"Ah, I'll be fine." Glenn waved his hand dismissively.

"Shit man, what did they do to you?" I asked him gently and he said nothing I bent forward and kissed him on the cheek before hugging him.

"Where's that woman?" Maggie asked as I looked around the room realising Michonne wasn't here and froze in panic.

"She was right behind us." Rick said frustrated.

"We got to get him out of here." Rick pointed to Glenn as Maggie put a shirt on him.

"She's on her own." He said.

"Rick!" I said shocked.

"I can't leave her. She would do the same for me, she would come back for me." I said firmly.

"We gotta look out for our own, our family." Rick defended.

"She is my family too." I stood staring up at him.

"Daryl and Oscar, we're all gonna need to get Glenn and Maggie out." Rick instructed looking at me.

"Rick don't ignore me." I demanded as his force contorted in anger.

"How do you know she's not a spy for the others? How do you know she's not reporting back to the Governor right now?" Rick questioned.

"Because I know her!" I shouted fully angry.

"Where's my brother?" Daryl asked Glenn and Maggie.

"He did this. He threw a Walker at me." Glenn said hatefully and I felt an overwhelming urge to shoot Merle Dixon.

"You sayin' my brother's the governor?" Daryl asked incredulously.

"No, he's just the lieutenant or somethin'." Maggie replied.

"I'm sorry Rick, I told them where the prison was. They were going to execute." Glenn said ashamed.

"It's not your fault Glenn." I reassured him.

"It's okay, no need to apologise." Rick patted his shoulder then bent down against the window as I joined him.

"You're really bent on finding her?" Rick checked.

"Yes. She would do the same for me." I said firmly but Rick continued to say nothing making me even more annoyed at him.

"Can you walk? We got a car a few miles down." Rick called back to Glenn as he helped him stand up and Maggie supported him. Glenn nodded and breathed heavily.

"If Merle's here I gotta see him." Daryl said trying to get to the door but Rick pushed him back.

"Not now, we're in hostile territory." Rick shoved him.

"He's my brother! Maybe I can talk to him, maybe I 'an work somethin' out!" Daryl said desperately and I could see the pleading in his eyes.

"Maybe I could go with Daryl to find Michonne." I backed him up.

"You saw what happened, Glenn can barely walk, we need to get out in case the Governor finds us, or we get overrun by Walkers!" Rick said firmly. That was a good point.

"Can I count on you two?" Rick asked looking at both of us.

"Rick, I'm going to go find her, I owe her that." I said firmly.

"Yes you can count on me to help cover fire but I need to find her." I said.

"Yeah." Daryl nodded agreeing with Rick. As much as I wanted to find her right now, he was right. Glenn and Maggie were injured and we needed to get them out. I snapped back out of my thoughts and joined Rick, Glenn and Maggie behind the door as Daryl opened another bottle of the tear gas.

"On three. One. Two. Three!" Rick whisper shouted and opened the door allowing Daryl to throw out the tear gas into the street. We threw a few more as they all ignited and blocked out the view making some of the guards shout out.

"Go!" Rick said as we filtered out of the building behind him into the smoking gas. Some of the guards standing on buildings spotted us and called out to others as we began shooting our rifles up at them. There was a mix of gunfire as we took some of the sentries out posted on the buildings and the school bus. We ran across the street as Rick took out the guards in front. I looked behind and saw the guard aiming for Rick's head, shooting him before he could make a move.

"Take cover!" Rick shouted over the noise as we approached another building. Woodbury had the numbers, we needed to get somewhere safe. I tried to find an opening to look for Michonne but there was no way for me to get across the road without getting shot

"How many? I didn't see!" Rick called out over the noise as we all leaned against the wall exhausted and reloading our bullets.

"Fighters, could be more of 'em. We need to move." Daryl said calmly reloading his rifle. I checked Glenn and Maggie as they looked completely worn down by the whole ordeal.

"How am I supposed to find her?" I asked to no one in particular.

"I'm sorry." Rick said reloading his gun.

"Grenades, get ready we gotta gun em to the wall!" Rick said as we nodded looking around for any possible ambush. The gunfire closed in one us as pistol bullets ricocheted off the wall near us. Maggie poked her head round and used her gun to fire off into the distance.

"You guys go ahead I'm gonna lay down some cover fire." Daryl suggested.

"No way we stick together!" Maggie said as I shot out with her blindly into the smoke.

"It's getting too hairy, I'll be right behind ya." Daryl said looking at Rick.

"I'll be with him." I said making Rick look at me.

"No." Rick said shaking his head.

"Look I'll be fine, I got Daryl's back! And I can try to find Michonne." I looked at Daryl who nodded as we threw more smoke canisters out into the street blocking the view of the armed guards.

Rick gripped his hand on my forearm before nodding and running out into the street with Maggie, Glenn and Oscar behind him. Daryl and I came out from the archway firing the rifles out towards the metal park benches were some of the guards were trying to fire at us.

"Rick! Rick!" I heard Maggie screaming his name and edged forward desperate trying to see if he was safe. Daryl pulled me back by my collar as a bullet missed me. I looked at him gratefully as we continued shooting. The smoke cleared slightly and I saw a figure climb up on top of the bus.

"Daryl! Pol! Come!" Rick shouted as I looked at the figure standing on the bus.

"Go" Daryl said reloading his gun.

"I'm not leaving you and I gotta find her." I said standing my ground.

"You gotta go now, they're closin' in on us, I'll try to look for her." Daryl said as I looked at him and saw he was being genuine.

"Go!" he urged pushing me forward as I shot my way into the guards, I ran across the road and stopped for a brief moment seeing Oscar's dead body on the ground. Rick pulled my arm and helped me up.

"Where's Daryl?" Rick asked.

"He's still shooting! He told me to come." I shouted over the sound of the gunfire as Rick nodded, eyes darting through the smoke into the street.

"We can't wait any longer!" Rick growled in frustration as we followed Glenn and Maggie over the side of the building and then finally over the wall of Woodbury. We ran past the train carriages on the tracks beside the town as I looked back wondering if Daryl was safe, if he was still alive.

"Daryl," I said softly looking back.

"We'll come back for him." Rick said firmly and I nodded knowing he was right, we didn't have time we had to get to the car. We hid behind the car we were previously scouting the gate as Glenn went to his knees.

"Get down." Rick said looking forward at the search lights.

"Come on Daryl." Rick muttered as we looked on waiting for the archer to appear, alive and unharmed. Rick looked at the carriage and pointed his gun where Michonne crawled out and stood up, bloody and hurt.

"Where the hell were you?" He trained his gun on her as she looked alarmed.

"Turn around. Turn around." Rick growled with frustration, Maggie was also holding her gun up on Michonne. I ignored their pointed guns and went over to Michonne's side slinging her arm around my neck.

"Rick, stop it." I said angrily but Michonne shook her head indicating for me to shut up. He took the katana out of her sheath and held it in his other hand as Michonne kept her hands up indicating she meant no harm this time.

"Got what you came for?" Rick questioned her.

"Where are the rest of your people?" Michonne asked seeing the absence of Oscar and Daryl.

"Oscar got shot, Daryl's still in there. You seen them?" Maggie asked worriedly.

"If anything happens to our people-" Rick started.

"What would you do for them?" Michonne asked.

"You need help to get back to the prison, or you need to get them out of there. Either way. You need me." Michonne said genuinely seemingly tired as her eyes pleaded with Rick. Rick looked at her for a moment before gesturing for Maggie to lower her gun as he lowered his.

He nodded his head slowly and kept his gun out as I went to check Michonne over.

"You alright?" I fussed looking her over.

"I'm fine." She nodded swatting my hands away.

We walked around behind the building quickly Michonne directed us towards and found an arena set up like a gladiator ring with seats on the side and Walkers tied up around the edges. The Governor had Andrea in restraints and Merle had Daryl pinned to the floor and was strangling him whilst the crowd were cheering around them.

"Savages," I said disgusting.

"Maggie, Pol. You're up." We set our rifles up over the edge and began shooting the Walkers as people began screaming with the gunshots. Rick threw the tear gas over as we created more gunfire making the crowd scatter.

"Rick there's kids!" I shouted.

"Shoot above the crowd!" He instructed as we continued shooting. I could see the Governor with a wrapped bandage around his eye pull out his pistol smiling. Rick joined in as we shot the lights illuminating the arena, making their visibility harder. Rick shone his torchlight sending a morse code signal out in the arena.

I could make out two figures, one with a crossbow running and jumping their way through the smoke.

"I see them!"

 **A/N: I know this was a very action focused chapter. Hoped you guys enjoyed it! Thoughts?**


	24. Chapter 24 - Escape

**A/N: Hey y'all, so this updating every day thing is getting too hard and keeping up with all the other stuff I have to do so I'll do it every 2 days for now. Next Tuesday uni's starting again and I have a really busy timetable so unfortunately I'm going to have to cut back twice a week, or even once a week depending on how busy I am. I'll know more once I start but I'll definitely be updating every week I can assure you.**

 **To address another point, I said that I would change parts of the story. for instance because Pol already knew Michonne from before, instead of them wanting to kick her out, Rick reluctantly agrees to let her come and stay at the prison because he trusts Pol and her judgement so that's what I've changed from the main story.**

 **Thank you to all the love and support for this story to Whiskeyprincess01 who is now following my story and to my reviewers!**

 **Ryane: Oh yeah Oscar was a good one! I wish they would explore some of these minor characters more but there are too many! I definitely agree and I think seasons 3 and 4 are the best written and filmed ones! It will be exciting to write.**

 **JasminJW: Ah don't worry they will trust her eventually! Lol don't worry you may get a massage scene somewhere...**

 **Guest: I was going to reply to your review but then I realised I couldn't because you're a guest! To address your point about it seeming like Pol didn't care about how he treated people and how he behaved, it wasn't like that at all. But I do see where you may have thought that from chapter 22 but this is part of her personality. of course she does get annoyed at the decisions he makes and she's expressed that in the last chapter and the past chapters especially if it's something she doesn't agree with. I know you want to see her get mad but her getting insanely angry is not the way I've written her character at all. she's passionate about her beliefs and opinions and the people she cares about but she's generally a calm tempered person - but with things she doesn't agree with she'll voice her disagreement and discomfort with what Rick does as I've shown in the last chapter. I haven't written Pol to be a feisty character at all, her personality is shaped by her experiences and her abuse as a child which made her a bit shy. but since the apocalypse she had to learn to fend for herself and that's why she comes across as strong.**

 **Although I never wrote it, of course Rick went out to look for but having the burden of looking after the whole group he lost hope she was out there and had to focus on getting the group alive especially with his pregnant wife. Pol agrees with most of what Rick says but she doesn't endlessly support what he says or does. But I completely respect your opinion if that's how it came across to you. It's completely okay about your last comment! You didn't make me doubt myself, it gave me a new perspective and I was able to rewrite some of the last chapter to make it more inline with her character. Your kind words about me as a write made me smile :) Thank you so much for reading and supporting my story, I hope you continue to enjoy it xx**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking dead or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

Daryl and Merle made their way over to us as we watched Merle apprehensively before reluctantly letting him follow us.

"Let's go!" Rick called out as we ducked down away from the arena and ran across before being discovered. I saw Michonne lagging behind and I slung one of her arms over my shoulder trying to keep up with the group, we rounded a corner and ended up on the main street.

"Come on this way, they're all up by the arena!" Merle said making us look at him incredulously.

"You're not coming anywhere with us!" Rick shouted pointing his rifle out to the street.

"How you doing?" I nudged Michonne in the ribs gently and she nodded breathing heavily.

"I'll be fine." She said.

"Hang in there." I stated reassuringly.

"I've been in worse." She shrugged.

"Oh I know you have that's why I'm saying!" I said. We backed up behind a huge truck as I sat Michonne down and went up to the front with Rick rifles out.

"You really wanna do this now?" Merle complained. The truck was blocking the gate of Alexandria as Merle starting making a lot of noise banging his sword arm into the wooden gate.

"You're making a lot of noise!" I hissed, he finally broke through the wooden gate giving us an opening to get out.

"I'm getting us outta here girlie!" Merle called out and disappeared through the gap in the wooden wall. I looked at Rick and nodded, putting Michonne's arm around my shoulders we went sideways through the narrow passageway seeing Merle pound a Walker's head in.

"A little help would be nice!" He called out as Daryl put his crossbow up.

More walkers came stumbling up to the Woodbury perimeter growling and snapping their jaws, the decaying flesh depositing on the floor around us. Urgh. It never failed to make me gag. I let go of Michonne and pulled out her katana from the back handing it to her as I pulled out my machete from my belt.

We sliced through a few of the walkers when Maggie and Rick finally came through the wooden gate. They pulled out their guns and began shooting into the walkers who were getting closer.

"We ain't got time for this!" Merle shouted before running off into the forest.

"Let's go!" Daryl turned around to the rest of the group then followed his brother.

Maggie looked at Rick with an unsure, incredulous expression that we were actually letting Merle come with us.

"Is he really comin' back to the prison?" Maggie asked.

"We don't have time for this right now, he's right." I said slicing another walker.

We both looked at Rick who nodded at us as we followed Merle and Daryl into the woods, Michonne was jogging by herself, seemingly able to keep going beside us but I could see she was reaching breaking point.

We slowed down once we were clear of the town and I saw Michonne leaning heavily against the trunk of a tree.

"Hold up you guys!" I called out to Rick, Maggie, Merle and Daryl who stopped and turned around.

"Michonne? Just a couple of miles okay. We can't stop." I said gently as she nodded.

"I just need a minute." She breathed out.

"You should've stayed with Glenn." I said looking around through the trees for any Walkers.

"I insisted remember." Michonne smirked.

"You don't owe Rick any explanation or a debt." I said to her looking back at Rick.

"He's rough around the edges. I don't agree with some of the things he did, but he's a good guy." I smiled glancing at his weathered expression.

"I know." Michonne said.

"I-I wanna stay, with you at the prison. Your group, you guys have each other's backs and I haven't had that. In a while." She admitted and I beamed at her giving her a wide smile.

"I would love that. And I know the rest of the group would too." I grinned at her.

"That's why I said I'd help get your other guy out. So your guy over there," She gestured to Rick.

"Rick."

"Yeah, Rick can see that he can trust me." She explained and I nodded.

"Me trusting you should've been enough for him." I frowned.

"No," Michonne shook her head.

"It's not." she looked up as Rick came jogging over to us.

"You alright?" Rick asked Michonne who nodded slowly.

"Alright, let's go then." He said before walking back off to the front of the group. Michonne brushed my hands away from her using the tree to push herself up to standing position. We walked slowly behind the rest of the group, tired and exhausted ready for home. I looked up at the sky where the sun was coming up.

About half an hour later we reached where my car was parked in the woods and saw Glenn leaning against it holding a gun.

"Glenn!" Rick shouted harshly from the woods. The man in question came jogging to meet us halfway.

"Rick! Oh thank god!" He smiled looking at the leader.

"Now we gotta problem here I need you to back off," Rick put his hand up as Glenn pulled out the gun and pointed it at Merle.

"What the hell is he doing here?!" Glenn walked forward intending to fully shoot Merle.

"Hey, woah! Woah!" Daryl stood in front of Merle putting his hand out and preventing anyone from getting close. Maggie stood beside her boyfriend and also pointed her gun out towards Merle as I kept a hand over my holster, Michonne was no longer beside me and had her katana towards Merle.

"He tried to kill me!" Michonne screamed at Merle.

"You did what?" I said pulling the gun out and also pointing it at Merle, feeling nothing but hatred for him.

"Hey, he helped us get outta there." Daryl said to Glenn trying to placate the situation which was getting rapidly out of hand.

"Whilst also beating the crap out of Glenn and Maggie." I argued making Daryl glare at me. Rick was standing between us and Daryl and Merle who had his back up against the tree.

"Hey we both took our licks, man." Merle said from behind Daryl.

"Jackass." Daryl turned around to shut his brother up.

"Shut up," Merle said back to him.

"Okay Enough! Relax!" Rick shouted as Michonne edged her sword closer whilst Rick pointed the gun towards her. I placed my gun back in my holster crossing my arms.

"Hey get that thing outta my face!" Daryl shouted advancing on Glenn who dropped the gun. Michonne and Rick dropped their weapons which were pointed at each other and turned to Daryl.

"Look like you gone native, brother." Merle laughed at Daryl who was scowling.

"No more than you hanging out with that psycho back there!" Daryl spat out to his brother.

"Oh yeah man he is a charmer I'll tell you that. He's been putting the wood to your girl Andrea big time, baby." Merle laughed smirking at us. I gave Michonne a wide-eyed look.

"Oh God." I groaned trying to get the image out of my head. Michonne came forward with her sword towards Merle as I pulled her back before she did something she regretted.

"You guys were with Andrea right?" Glenn asked.

"Yeah, but then she chose to stay in Woodbury." I said regretfully. I wished we had forced her to come with us because now she was at the mercy of the Governor.

"Yeah these two spent the whole winter cuddling up with Andrea. Mhm hmm." Merle smirked licking his lips. I pulled out my knife intending to embed it in Merle's face before Rick pushed me back harshly as I glared at him.

"And my Nubian queen here had two pet Walkers. No arms, cut off the jaws, kept them in chains. Kind of ironic, now that I think about it." Merle drawled, as Rick looked back to Michonne apprehensively.

"Shut up man!" Daryl pointed to his brother.

"Daryl if your brother doesn't stop I'm going to shove the knife up his ass." I threatened Merle who just laughed.

"So what you gonna do now Sheriff? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs and cowards." Merle taunted as Rick looked around at the group not knowing what to think.

"Shut up!" Rick shouted back to him.

"Look at you all, all these guns and no bullets in me. Bunch of pussies-" But before Merle could finish Rick knocked Merle had the base of his neck with his gun knocking him out as he fell to ground with a loud thud.

"Asshole." Rick said walking away from his body.

"Rick," I pulled him over to the side, trying to push down the annoyance I still had with him for not trusting Michonne.

"Merle coming into the group? This is not gonna work." I shook my head.

"It's gotta." Daryl said standing beside us on the road. Michonne was leaning up against the car as Maggie and Glenn also came over.

"It'll stir things up in the group." Rick stated.

"Look, the Governor's probably on the way to the prison now and Merle knows how he thinks. We could use the muscle." Daryl justified.

"I'm not having him in the prison." Maggie said.

"He put a gun to our heads you really want him to be sleeping in the same cellblock as Carol and Beth?" Glenn asked Daryl.

"He ain't a rapist." Daryl shook his head.

"Well his buddy is." Glenn said as Maggie gave him a sharp look. I didn't miss the way her eyes widened with fear and sadness.

"Well they're not buddies not after last night." Daryl said.

"You gonna cut Merle loose but bring the last samurai home with us." Daryl pointed to Michonne.

"Hey!" I said.

"How many times do I have to say it, she helped me survive all winter, she came back for me twice! She saved me and I trust her." I said making the rest of the group quiet.

"She can't be on her own." Maggie reasoned.

"And she did bring you guys to us." Glenn stated and I nodded looking at Rick expectantly.

"She ditched us then." Rick said.

"She had her own stuff to take care of too." I defended.

"We don't even know who she is. She's unpredictable." Daryl said.

"At least let my dad stitch her up." Maggie reasoned. I looked her gratefully pleased she was on my side.

"She's my family guys. She may not be blood. But she's family." I said looking at them.

"Alright, we'll take her back with us for now. But if she poses a danger to the group, she's out." Rick said firmly.

"Thank you," I sighed with relief and I looked at Daryl nodded.

"Merle's blood. If we're taking her back, I want him to come too." Daryl said making me look at the ground unsure. I would take Merle back to the prison if it guaranteed Michonne staying.

"He's your blood. My blood and family are here and waiting for us back at the prison." Glenn said crossing his arms.

"And you're our family." Rick said holding Daryl's gaze.

"Man y'all don't know!" Daryl said frustrated as the rest of the group said nothing. I heard a groaning noise and snapped my head back thinking it was a walker but it was Merle leaning his head against a tree trunk.

"Fine, we'll fend for ourselves." Daryl said holding the crossbow over his shoulder.

"That's not what I was saying," Glenn said softly.

"No him. No me." Daryl was unrelenting.

"Daryl you don't have to do that." Maggie said.

"It was always Merle and me 'fore this," Daryl shrugged.

"You serious? You gonna leave just like that?" Glenn asked. I felt an overwhelming wave of sadness wash my body at the thought of Daryl leaving her group, just after we had already incurred two losses a few days ago.

"Daryl," I said softly feeling tears prick in my eyes as his gaze softened.

"What about Carol?" Glenn tried a new tactic.

"She'll understand." Daryl said. Daryl looked at Rick one last time and nodded as he looked back at him.

"Say goodbye to your pop for me." Daryl said to Maggie before walking off towards Merle.

"Daryl!" I called then walked over to him giving him a hug which he reluctantly returned.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Take care of yourself for me." I pulled apart and smiled at Daryl sniffling slightly.

"Don't go soft on me." Daryl smirked.

"Take care of Rick." he said and I nodded letting him go. He walked off and Rick jogged past me talking to Daryl quietly as we opened the back of my car pulling out his weapon and pack. They opened the trunk and talked to each other but I couldn't make out what they said. A look of understanding passed between them.

"Daryl! Glenn called out. Daryl walked off leaving Rick standing there his face contorting in a range of emotions.

"You gonna be okay sheriff?" I joked to him.

"Yeah," he nodded seriously. He dumped his rifle into the trunk and I followed suit with my weapons before Rick walked to Michonne who was limping.

"We patch you up, then you stick by our rules. And you can stay." Rick said firmly as Michonne nodded gratefully to him. He got in the passenger seat of the car as Glenn and Maggie got in the back seats.

"I don't know what you said to him but thank you." Michonne touched my arm.

"Thank Glenn and Maggie." I smiled a her getting in the car. I put the keys in starting the car and drove off back towards home. This time I put no music in as we enjoyed the silence driving back. I rolled down the windows and felt the fresh air blowing in my face.

The mood in the car was depressing after Daryl's departure but I felt somewhat relaxed with a mixture of sadness and confused. Once I would have considered the scenery beautiful, the tall pine mountain trees on each side, I looked back in front where there was a red truck and a fallen tree. I harshly pressed my foot on the brake and switched off the car.

"Of course this is our luck." I groaned opening the car door as Maggie reached the tree. Rick and Glenn followed as we inspected it. Glenn opened the car door and out came a walker snarling onto him. Me, Rick and Maggie pulled out our guns ready to shoot but Glenn pushed it to the ground stamping into it's face until it was bloody. The brain matter of the walker was exposed until the head was unrecognisable as I covered my nose from the smell.

"Take that!" Glenn shouted as I glanced at Maggie worriedly. Rick backed up next to us lowering his gun as he gave us a worried look.

"Uh, Glenn." I said worriedly looking over to where he continued stomping. He was finished and breathed heavily holding his side with his arm. He went passed the red truck and stood there until Rick went to him and we followed him.

"You didn't kill him." Glenn looked up to Rick.

"That's not why we went back." Rick justified.

"No that's right, you went back for Daryl. And now he's gone again and the Governor is still alive." Glenn spat out.

"Daryl was the priority." He said firmly.

"I should've been there with you." Glenn said.

"You were in no condition-" Rick said gently.

"But my girlfriend was?!" Glenn shouted.

"This isn't about us Glenn." Maggie reminded him next to me.

"I should've been there." Glenn looked down at the ground.

"You could barely walk, Glenn." Rick said firmly.

"Do you know what he did to her?!" Glenn shouted. A look of shock passed over my face as I glanced at Maggie in sympathy.

"Leave him alone! Let's go!" Maggie shouted putting her hands on the red truck.

"Maggie?" I asked standing next to her but she shook her head.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said pressing her lips in a thin line.

"Understood." I nodded.

"But if you do.."

"Thanks," She said. Whatever happened I could tell it deeply affected her, badly and Glenn too, I hope they were okay. They were gonna be okay, they would survive. We don't have the luxury of a choice in a post apocalyptic world.

"After all that effort, Daryl just takes off with Merle." Glenn said.

"Merle is his brother." I tried to reason but I knew in my heart it was insane what Daryl had done, I thought he had gone so close with the group and Merle's moral compass was, questionable at best - being buddies with the Governor for instance proved that.

"You say that Pol, but look at what he did to me. To Maggie." Glenn said harshly.

"He had his reasons, we couldn't just throw down a welcome mat at the prison for Merle." Rick stated.

"You keep telling yourself that Rick, doesn't change the fact we're up to our necks in shit." Glenn said angrily.

"This is the hand we've been dealt!" Rick yelled in Glenn's face.

"Come on guys, let's just get this truck out of the way and talk when we go back." I said gently.

"You can do all the talking you want, I'm done." Glenn said before stomping away back towards the BMW. Rick came beside me and put his hands on the back of the red truck. I couldn't think of what to say to make him feel better, I gave him a lot of shit for Michonne - some of which he deserved but he was getting shit from everyone. Rick was burdened with become leader of the group and having responsibility over everyone's safety and that meant dealing with the shit storm we had just encountered. He had lost the love of his life, and a friend had walked away from the group. There was nothing for me to say.

I covered my hand over Rick's as his blue eyes met mine and nodded in a single look that said: it was going to get better, it was going to get easier, we were just going through a rough time. I took my hand off his and looked at Maggie who was giving me an unreadable expression.

We began pushing the truck away from the red and after a good few minutes of heaving it was off towards the side in the woods. We walked back to the BMW and got in the car driving around the half fallen tree and back towards the prison.

I drove the BMW through the dense section of trees until coming onto the dirt track road in the clearing as the prison fence came into view. I slowed down as Carl unlocked the fence with the keys and Carol slid the metal fence door for the outer gate then closed it before any Walkers could get through. I stopped the car letting Carl open the inner gate as Rick got out of the passenger seat.

"Where you going?" I asked him.

"Drive them up, I'll meet you there." He instructed and I nodded. He slammed the door and ran over to Carl engulfing him in a relieved hug. Carol put her hands on the car door and tried to look in before backing up in worry. She must be looking for Daryl, I felt guilty pressing down on the accelerator and driving up to the other parked cars.

I parked the car in the courtyard as Maggie helped Glenn get out of the car before Hershel wrapped him in a side hug and skulked off inside the prison without saying a word. Maggie hugged her father before Beth came and threw her arms around her sister crying with happiness.

I got out of the car and went to the back to help Michonne out holding one hand so she could walk easy.

"I'm glad you're here." I squeezed her hand as she gave me a faint smile.

"I don't think the rest of your group think that." She scanned as Rick, Carl and Carol were looking at her apprehensively.

"Don't worry, they just don't know you like I do. Once they do, then I can say I told you so." I smirked.

"We'll see." Michonne said narrowing her eyes. Rick had her arm around Carol's shoulders who was looking noticeably upset. Beth came running and threw her arms around Rick before giving him a peck on the cheek. She noticed me behind holding Michonne and also wrapped me up in a hug before smiling widely and walking inside with Maggie.

"Go on." Rick said to Carol and Carl who followed the sisters inside the prison. I walked over slowly past Rick supporting Michonne before he put a hand on my arm. We both turned around to face in surprise.

"I just wanted to say, that I'm sorry." Rick said as a look of surprise passed over my face.

"For what?"

"The way I didn't believe you about Michonne." Rick nodded over to her as she looked intrigued.

"I should've trusted your judgement, and trusted you especially since she kept you safe for 8 months." He said to me.

"Thank you for that." He looked at Michonne who was now looking at him pleasantly.

"We more like protected each other." She smirked nudging me.

"It'll take time for the rest of the group as well as myself to be open to you stayin' here. With us. But if you're patient, we would be glad for the extra muscle. And your company." Rick said respectfully before Michonne nodded. We all stood there in silent and Rick looked like he wanted something more to say to me but in private.

"Why don't I meet you inside?" Michonne got the hint and looked at me knowingly before walking off with her katana on her back.

"I am sorry." Rick emphasised.

"It's already forgotten." I beamed at him.

"I know that I lost Lori a few days ago and I've been so wrapped up in my grief I've completely disregarded the way I've been speaking to you." Rick said sincerely.

"Rick you don't have to-"

"I do. Just please let me get this out." He pleaded making me close my mouth.

"What you told me, when we were in that cell that night about your father. I can't imagine how hard that must've been for you to tell me that story, just to make me feel better. That was a hell of a brave thing you did and I didn't even make sure you were okay." Rick looked down guiltily.

"Hey look at me," I got his attention.

"I am fine Rick. All that happened a long time ago and although I'll always have those memories, I've become a stronger person because of those events and it gives me the courage to help other people who are hurting. It's not your fault in any way, I'm glad it helped." I explained.

"Well I'm lucky, to have a friend like you around." Rick smiled slightly this time.

"Of course you are." I grinned at him as we began walking into the prison. We walked through the corridors and the cafeteria almost to our cellblock before Carol called us over.

"You guys, you're gonna want to see this." We followed Carol through the old passageways and into the cell Michonne was being kept in when she first got to the prison. We opened the cell door to the large room and Carl was standing there, finger on his holster facing 4 people sitting at the table we had never seen before.

Carl walked over to the other side with us as Hershel also joined us on his crutches and went through the other cell door locking it huddled outside.

"Lot happened when we were out?" I said jokingly as Carl launched into the story of how this group of people found their way through a burnt down part of the prison and ended up on the lower levels which were apparently crawling with Walkers. He apparently rescued them whilst some of them were injured and brought them back to this cell, waiting for us to get back.

"We'll talk to them later." Rick said decidedly as we walked back towards the cell block. Rick went to go take Judith from Beth as I went towards my cell seeing Carol doing the laundry and I immediately felt guilty.

"I'll take those dirty clothes off you." Carol said as I looked up.

"No it's fine, I can do it." I smiled.

"I'm already doing the others, I can do yours too." She smiled.

"Thanks, just give me a minute okay." I went into my cell and pulled the sheet across giving me some privacy. I took the jacket off and smelled it before scrunching up my nose. Okay definitely for the wash. I took my boots off followed by my trousers before rifling for another clean pair. I took the shirt off and looked down at my bare body. The scratches and bruises from all those years ago were still there, constant reminders of my past. I looked at my back through the mirror and saw the distinguishable mark of the hot iron still on my mid back

"Hey, are you o-" I quickly shrugged the new t-shirt over my head but the damage had already been done. Carol looked at me with wide eyes before I handed her my dirty clothes.

"I'm sorry, I just thought you were in there a while and I wanted to make sure." She said quickly.

"Don't worry about it." I smiled trying to play it off. It didn't need to be more awkward than it just was. But if anyone would understand. It would be Carol, I had heard from Lori and Andrea some of the things her late husband Ed would do to her.

I wordlessly handed her my dirty clothes as she accepted them.

"I should've knocked-"

"It's already forgotten Carol." I smiled genuinely as she returned my smile taking my dirty clothes with her.

I heard Beth and Carol talking gently outside to each other as Judith cried a little bit whilst I flopped down on my bed closing my eyes to rest for a while. Michonne was having her additional wounds tended to her by Hershel. Hopefully the group would soon see what I saw in her. I was so comfortable in my bed that I didn't notice myself drifting off into a deep dreamless sleep.

I woke up from my slumber putting socks on and shrugging my boots on, not noticing my bedhead or the endless bags under my eyes. I pulled the white sheet back and came out of my cell rubbing my eyes seeing Rick standing outside a cell and Hershel inside.

"She's out like a light." Hershel's voice rang out from the cell. I turned the corner and peeked my head inside seeing Michonne safe and sleeping on one of the beds.

"Must've been days since she slept." He stood back up rubbing his hands on the clean towel.

"You guys look pretty shot yourself." Hershel looked pointedly to Rick.

"I just had the best hour of sleep." I stated with a smirk as Rick shook his head in amusement.

"How long before she wakes?" Rick asked.

"Have to keep an eye on her, pretty sure she has a concussion." Hershel said making me wake up more.

"I'll stay with her." I said immediately as Hershel shook his head.

"You need your rest. Both of you." He looked at us pointedly. Hershel put on his crutches and came out of the cell before Rick closed the cell door debating whether or not to lock it. I watched his internal struggle as he left it unlocked making me smile.

"Whenever Tomas went off, Oscar always stood up for him." Axel said as Carol rubbed his shoulder. Glenn and Maggie came out of their cells as me, Hershel and Rick walked up to join him.

"He was brave and strong." I said reassuringly to the man who had lost his friend.

"He went out fighting." Rick stated.

"So, what now?" Beth asked walking down the steps holding Judith who was actually sleeping.

"You think the Governor will retaliate?" Her innocent eyes looked around at the group.

"Yeah he will." I said, an uneasy feeling building in my stomach. One day. Just wanted one day of peace.

"From what you've all said it sounds like he's got a whole town behind him." Carol said grimly.

"We could use some reinforcement." Hershel said looking at Rick who looked down then around the group for a moment.

"Do you mean the new group?" I asked him and he nodded.

"Tyreese's people."

"Let's go see if they're up for it." Rick said as we followed him towards the cell we locked them in. Carl had been standing watch as most of us followed Rick in when he unlocked the door. He came face to face with a burly bearded man wearing a hat.

"Tyreese," The man seemed friendly holding his hand out to shake Rick's but he didn't accept.

"Sasha, Allen and Ben." Hershel introduced the others in the group and I gave them a small smile. My gut feeling was that these people seemed good.

"How'd you get in?" Rick went straight to questions. Tyrese lowered his hand and answered him.

"Fire damage to the administrative part of the prison. Walls down. We lost our friend."

"I'm sorry about your friend." I said to them and the girl Sasha smiled slightly.

"Hershel said you could use some extra hands. We're no stranger to hard work. We'll go out and get our own food. Stay out of your hair. You got a problem with another group, we'll help with that too." Tyreese said sincerely.

I looked at Hershel with a questioning nod as he returned it. They should stay here. But it was up to Rick to see what he said. Rick looked at him for a long hard moment before looking down at the ground.

"No." He said simply making all of us look at him in shock.

"Please." Sasha pleaded her eyes watery.

"No." Rick shook his head repeating his statement. This group had nowhere else to go and we were denying them shelter, food. I remember when the group took me in, not trusting me but they gave me a chance. Rick gave me a chance. But this was a different Rick. This Rick was harsh and grieving and untrusting of people.

"Let's talk about this. We can't just keep-" Hershel spoke up bravely next to me.

"We've been through this, with Tomas, Andrew." Rick explained.

"Oscar and Axel weren't like that." Carol's soft voice spoke up.

"Where's Oscar now?" Rick turned to her questioning as she said nothing.

"I can't be responsible." Rick said.

"You turn us out. You are responsible." Tyreese said. Rick looked like he was going to explode at him.

"Rick," I called out as he came over to me and Hershel.

"You've done so much for us. I appreciate that. We all do. We owe you our lives. We've done everything you asked, without question. And I'm telling you, you're wrong on this. You've got to start giving people a chance." Hershel said. Rick looked up at the rest of the group then towards me.

"What about you, what do you think?" Rick asked putting his hands on his hips.

"We've been through a lot. We've made mistakes, trusting people we shouldn't." I said remembering Alejandro and how I wouldn't trust easily.

"They could be lying, or they might actually be genuine. We should give them a chance." I stated.

"Carol's right we gave Axel and Oscar a chance and they turned put alright." I explained but Rick was looking at the ground.

"No," Rick whispered looking at the ground.

"Rick-"

"No," He whispered again then glanced up until he went white as a sheet and his eyes were fixated at a point above us. I turned around seeing nothing there as Rick continued talking.

"No, no, no, no-" He continued pacing frantically whispering to himself. He placed a hand over his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose before removing his hand and glancing up again in the corner of the ceiling. I watched as our group plus Tyreese and Sasha were looking at Rick in worry and concern.

"Why are you here?" Rick asked to no one in particular, his voice shaking.

"Rick?" I prodded but he was in his own mind. Hershel moved to put a hand on his shoulder to snap him out of it but he walked off towards the other side of the room.

"What do you want from me?" Rick asked looking up.

"Dad?" Carl asked worriedly. I went over to stand beside Carl trying to comfort the boy.

"Why are you-" Rick was looking up in fear.

"I can't help you! Get out!" Rick turned around and shouted as I jumped and put an arm up in front of Carl worried if Rick was going to do something.

"Get-get out!" Rick said walking into the middle of the two groups with his hand on his face contorting in pain and sadness.

"Woah, woah it's all good." Tyreese put his hands up not wanting to antagonise him.

"What are you doing?" Carol asked.

"Hey, hey easy Rick. You're starting-" I put a hand on his shoulder before he whirled back around pulling his gun.

"You don't belong here! Get out!" He shouted pointing his gun to the ceiling as I held Carl stepping backwards quickly.

"Relax," Tyreese said trying to calm him down.

"Get out!" Rick wailed.

"Okay, we'll leave. We're going, ain't nobody got to get shot here." Tyreese stated.

"Why are you here?!" Rick shouted as the four members of the new group scrambled to their feet.

"Just go! Go!" Glenn said helplessly to them ushering them out. I had one hand on Carl's chest and another on his back and I could feel his heart beating wildly as we all backed against the wall.

Rick was panting heavily in the centre of the room as I let go of Carl who tried to pull me back.

"It's okay." I whispered to him as Rick was sobbing.

"Carol, Beth take Judith back to c-block. Okay?" I said to them and they nodded.

"Come on Carl, let's go listen to Pol's CD player." Maggie ushered the boy out of the room as I was left with Glenn and Hershel. I walked slowly over to Rick as he glanced up in one particular corner of the room every now and then.

"Rick," I said slowly. I put my hand on his arm holding the gun and took it from his hands gently thrusting it behind me for Glenn to take it.

"How about we go lie down?" I asked him and he nodded.

"Yeah? Okay, let's go." I put one hand on his back guiding him towards the door of the cell.

"Hershel it might be worth, giving them some food and water for their journey." I suggested

"Are we not gonna let them stay?" Hershel asked.

"I would let them. But with the way Rick is right now" I trailed off and Hershel agreed taking Glenn with him to get the others supplies before they hit the road.

I walked with Rick back to the cell as the others were in the common area and all stared as we entered c-block.

"Rick's just tired everyone." I reassured them but we all knew something was wrong. I just needed Rick to think they believed that.

"We can handle things for a few hours." Carol nodded as Rick looked at her. I nudged him into his cell block as he sat on the bed and I stood over him.

"Lie down." I said gently as he laid down with his head on the pillow.

"Close your eyes, we got things around here." I said to him and left him on the bed. I stayed outside the cell until I finally saw him close his eyes and I closed the cell door shut, extremely worried for our leader.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Sorry for this filler-y chapter but not much happens in the episode, I wanted to write more dialogue than action to show the group feeling in the aftermath. review?**


	25. Chapter 25 - Losing Your Mind

**A/N: I'm so sorry guys I know it's been a good 3 days since I last uploaded but I wanted a bit of a break as I was working really hard on getting my essay finished! So from next week I'm going to be uploading probably only twice a week and those days are likely to be Monday and Thursday, but knowing me it'll probably change :3.**

 **Thanks for all the love and support for this story! Thanks to GinDixon, theroadtohell, Heidi 191976 and Daryl's Lady for following and favouriting! And to my lovely reviewers:**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: Thank you! Rick's a strong one, he'll be good!**

 **JasminJW: Lol that would be something!**

 **Ryane: Haha as amazing as Pol is, she can't work miracles but she's doing her best.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead!**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

It had been a couple of days since Rick's breakdown incident in the prison and he was completely lost, muttering under his breath having hallucinations. I had a feeling I knew who was inside his head and that it had finally taken a toll on his mind. Every time we would do something, like clear out a level or checking the fence perimeter he would always wander off, his attention somewhere else like he was seeing someone or something. He was getting physically better in terms of his grief. But mentally? He was losing his mind.

It was no surprise when I woke up the next morning and peeked behind the white sheet on Rick and Carl's cell, seeing nobody there. I came up outside the cell and saw the rest of the group sitting around eating breakfast which in this case was baked beans.

"Oh my god. You guys it's been so long since I've had this." I said happily as the hot beans filled my mouth.

"You're lucky we found some on the last run." Glenn said.

"Isn't baked beans something of a specialty to you Brits?" Carol asked jokingly.

"You don't get it Carol." I narrowed my eyes playfully at her. I looked around at our smaller group now that Daryl was off with Merle, it just wasn't the same. It felt empty. No Lori. T-Dog. Daryl. Rick was here but he wasn't _here._

"Slept well Carl?" I asked the boy who was eating quietly next to me, having Judith around to play with had helped but I knew he was grieving for his mother.

"Kinda," He shrugged biting into his food. I looked into Michonne's cell and saw she wasn't there.

"Carl you said you found Tyreese's group by the west wall of the prison right?" Glenn asked.

"Yeah, or that's what Tyreese said." Carl answered.

"But we cleared this part, there must be another breach. Now the whole front of the prison is unsecure." Glenn said thoughtfully.

"If a group of Walkers could stroll in, it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men." Glenn sighed rubbing his face.

"Why are we so sure he's going to attack?" Beth asked.

"Dude's a psychopath." I said.

"We should attack now, whilst he's least expecting it, we'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head." Glenn said angrily.

"That's a bad plan." I said harshly trying to talk sense into it.

"We don't have Daryl, we have Rick but he's going through a hard time." I said stiffly.

"Hard time?" Glenn scoffed.

"He's seeing things!" He shouted as Carl stiffened up next to me. Carl put his plate down on the ground and slunk of inside his cell lying on the top bunk of the bed. I looked pointedly at Glenn who looked slightly ashamed.

"I'm sorry, I'll talk to him." He said sincerely and went in the direction Carl went.

"Where's Michonne?" I asked the rest of the group.

"Said something about getting fresh air." Hershel replied.

"And Rick?" I asked as the mood shifted in the group and people were looking uncomfortably in their laps or their faces filled with concern.

"He said he wanted to fortify the fence." Hershel looked at me.

"By himself?" I asked incredulously and he nodded.

"Did he sleep? Did he eat anything?" I asked but Hershel shook his head.

"I'm gonna go check on him." I said to them.

"Ya need any help?" Maggie asked as Beth was feeding Judith formula milk.

"Nah I got it." I smiled and went into my cell to fit the belt around my waist. I walked out of the cellblock with the baked beans and a spoon in my hand and out into the courtyard seeing Michonne standing there overlooking the green field with her arms crossed.

"Hey," She said.

"Hi, how do you feel? You were out for an entire day." I nudged.

"A lot better actually." She admitted.

"Did you get some food?"

"Yeah, Hershel forced me." She said mock-annoyed but I could tell she felt genuinely touched by the gesture.

"Good man." I smiled.

"I told you they would start liking you." I said triumphantly making her roll her eyes.

I followed her direction and saw Rick, wearing a new shirt at least walking towards the three graves with a rifle slung over his back his gaze fixed in one particular direction. Then he snapped and looked towards the graves and around the field spinning slightly.

"Your man Rick is becoming unhinged." Michonne observed.

"I know, it's his wife's death, it's taken a lot out of him." I sighed wishing I could do more to help.

"I don't know what to do." I stated.

"Just be there for him. He doesn't think anything of it but it'll help. And I seen the way you look at him, I know you will be." Michonne said turning to face.

"The way I look at him? That obvious?" I sheepishly smiled.

"You can't hide from me, I'm your best friend." Michonne shrugged with a smirk.

"Best friend? What are we 9?" I asked jokingly.

"Obviously. I've told you things about my past, that no one else knows." She said a wistful look passed over her face as my face turned sympathetic.

"And as your best friend and how obviously you care for him. You should go down there." Michonne suggested before touching my shoulder and walking back towards the cellblock.

I pushed open the fence that led out into the green field and followed where Rick was by the graves but now his gaze was focused beyond the outer gate near the woods. I watched him as there was movement just outside the fence, it was a Walker snarling at the outer gate from seeing him.

Suddenly Rick was off and ran down the pathway, past the guard-tower and to the inner gate where he started unlocking it with haste. I immediately jogged after him down the field as he also unlocked the outer gate and walked beyond the prison barrier. I slowed down seeing him walk slowly across the small wooden bridge that ran over the stream outside the prison. I closed the door of the prison fence behind me and took out my machete stabbing the walker. I slowed down walking slowly behind Rick until I could see what he was doing.

He lifted his hand up in the air as if he was stroking something and I could see his entire body movement was relaxed. He wasn't even worried or concerned that walkers could stumble out of the woods any moment and ambush us. I kept my machete out and stood guard just in case. I wondered if I should stop him but I decided not to, if he was imagining having memories of Lori I didn't want to deprive him of that. So I just watched him. Let him enjoy the time, no matter if it was fantasy with his wife.

"Rick," I gently called out to him and he snapped his head back to look at me.

"You alright?" I walked up across the bridge to talk to him.

"Yeah, I just thought I saw something." He looked down as his jaw clenched.

"What did you see?" I asked tentatively.

"It's not important." He muttered. I looked at him seeing the grey hairs in his beard and the dark circles and bags under his eyes.

"Hey, you haven't been sleeping while have you?"

"A bit." He answered.

"Here," I said sitting down with my legs dangling over the bridge the tip of my boots touching the water. He looked at me for a moment before sitting down beside me.

"Brought you something to eat." I gave him the can and spoon of the beans which were now getting cold.

"I'm not hungry." He said instantly looking at his clasped hands.

"These are Heinz British Baked beans Rick. You're missing out." I emphasised holding the can out to him. He looked at me with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

"I will force it down your throat." I said warningly as he let out a small chuckle and took the can and spoon his fingers brushing mine. I watched him as he dipped the spoon into the can and put it in his mouth slowly chewing it trying to figure out the taste.

"Not bad." Rick nodded smirking.

"Not bad?" I gasped.

"Alright, it's pretty good." He said admittedly as I grinned.

"I am going to sit here to make sure the whole thing goes in your mouth." I crossed my arms staring at him. He continued eating and then handed the can back to me after 10 minutes. I looked at the bottom and saw it was sufficiently finished then chuckled it into the water.

"Rick, I know you're tired. And you need rest. But we could use your help back inside." I said seriously for a minute as his face morphed back into the way I saw it before.

"You can handle it, you and Glenn." Rick said looking down.

"Sure, between us we can figure a few things out but we need you, we need to prepare against the Governor." I urged him as he looked at the stream below our feet.

"There's a breach on the west wall which is how Tyreese's group got in, we need to clear it and fortify." I said.

"I got some things to, to figure out here." Rick said his eyes focusing on the other side of the bridge.

"I'll help you figure what you need out here but then we should go inside. Yeah?" I checked but he was up on his feet and walked off into the woods.

"Rick!" I hissed.

I followed him through the clearing and into the thick layer of trees where it was hot and sticky due to the sun. He jogged down a small woody hill which was thick with undergrowth that kept brushing my ankles pricking me. I caught up to him as he looked back up towards the sun, the back of his hand on his forehead.

"Don't run off by yourself like that." I scolded him.

"Sorry," he said not fully paying attention.

"Where did you go?" I asked catching my breath as my mouth went dry. Bringing water out here would definitely had been a good idea.

"I thought I saw something and I needed to see," He replied looking around the small clearing we were in.

"What did you see?" I asked gently turning him around to face me.

"Who." Rick corrected.

"It was a who." He said looking at the ground.

"Lori?" I probed and he nodded.

"It's understandable Rick, I know how much you miss her. We all do, but no doubt you miss her the most." I said as Rick's eyes had tears.

"This is exactly why I'm not fit to lead the group. You or Glenn should do it." Rick stated.

"Rick, me and Glenn? We're okay but we're not you. And the group needs you. I need you." I said softly making his blue eyes look at me.

"I feel like I'm trying to hold this group together and completely failing at it. Daryl left. And it fucking hurts. But Rick at this time we just need you." I finished putting my hands on my hips.

"I'm sorry, I-I can't, not any more." Rick said helplessly. Before I could counter his point we were both distracted by a new sound.

"Rick," I heard a raspy voice call out. I looked at Rick as we both began walking back through the clearing.

"Rick," The voice called out again a bit louder. We walked back out of the clearing and came to the small stream that ran just before the prison. I looked across the wooden bridge and saw Hershel's face peering out against the inner fence. I glanced at Rick beside me as we both walked across to stand in front of Hershel who was holding one of his crutches.

"Oh Polaris, you're here too." Hershel gave a somewhat relieved sigh seeing that Rick wasn't alone.

"Yeah I came to give Rick some breakfast, then we went for a walk." I stated carefully.

"You know I wouldn't have hobbled all the way down here if it wasn't important." He said slightly out of breath.

"Are you coming back soon?" Hershel asked hopefully. Rick looked down at the ground then back towards the woods, his hair wet and his face gleaning with sweat. Rick came up beside me leaning against the fence to face Hershel.

"Glenn's on a warpath. Smart as he is he can't fill your boots. I'm afraid he's reckless." Hershel said worriedly.

"What has he done?" I asked.

"It's not what he's done, its what he's gonna do." Hershel said his eyes squinting from the sun.

"He wants to take the Governor at Woodbury." Hershel said as my eyes widened in surprise.

"We don't have the numbers or the firepower at all, we're better staying off here trying to reinforce and fortify the prison." I said.

"That's what I told him." Hershel said.

"Where is he?" I asked worriedly thinking about how Glenn's head wasn't in the right place to be making any rash decisions.

"He drove up past the prison towards the highway to see if they're coming." Hershel said and I nodded. I looked past Hershel up towards the prison and could make out the cowboy hat of Carl sitting there with Carol and Axel standing side by side looking down towards us.

"We need you now more than ever." Hershel pleaded to the man standing next to me.

"Well, if you're so worried about him, you lead." Rick threw his hand out at Hershel.

"What are you doing out here?" Hershel changed tactics. Rick looked at the side not fully focusing on Hershel's words before turning back to him.

"I've-I've been- I've got, stuff out here. Stuff." Rick said uncertain and I knew he was thinking about finding Lori again.

"How much longer do you need?" Hershel probed.

"I don't- I-I don't-" Rick trailed off with his hands on his hips seemingly confused. I reached up and put a hand up to his head as it felt unnaturally hot. I reached my hand back and put both hands on his neck and on the side of his face as his eyes fluttered closed then open.

"Rick, you're burning up." I said worriedly.

"Is there anything we can help you with?" Hershel asked trying to keep him calm.

"I saw something. Someone. I saw Lor. Lori." Rick said ashamed.

"I'm seeing her, Lori." Rick admitted.

"I know it's not really her, I know that." He wrapped his fingers around the outer fence.

"But there's got to be a reason it's- it's gotta mean something. You know." Rick looked at me then at Hershel.

"Do you see her now?" I asked him and he shook his head.

"You're lookin' for 'em." Hershel observed.

"Well, I'm waiting." Rick said his eyebrows furrowed.

"For what?" Hershel asked.

"I don't know, something." Rick shrugged.

"I know it doesn't make sense. I mean, I-I-I think it kind of- it will, it'll make sense." Rick said stuttering. I put my hand up on his forehead feeling it hadn't changed.

"Rick, we got to get you out of the sun. You could be having a sunstroke." I said looking into his blue eyes that held pain.

"Rick come on in. You need rest. It's not safe out here. Listen to Pol." Hershel said.

"I can't, I can't." Rick said as he turned around from the fence and walked off.

"Hold on, let me try." I reassured Hershel who nodded as I turned around and went to follow Rick across the wooden bridge. I was about to reach my hand out to get his attention when we heard a loud gunshot ring out in the direction of the prison.

We whipped our heads around in alarm as I pulled out the colt and took the safety out, seeing Rick breathing quickly and putting his rifle out in front of him. Suddenly gunshots were being fired onto the bridge in our direction as Rick grabbed my wrist and we stayed low running back across the rickety bridge towards the outer fence and he pushed me to the ground.

My face hit the ground and I could hear ringing in my ears as I lifted my face back up it was in pain. I touched my hand to my head which was bleeding slightly. I could see Rick's body was covering mine over the ground as I looked up towards the fence seeing no Hershel.

"Are you okay?" Rick asked twisting his body until he was lying next to me with one arm hovering over me.

"I hit my head but I'm alright." I said. More rapid machine gunfire could be heard going off into the prison.

"Is it?" Rick trailed off.

"It has to be." I said angrily. We both got up from our lying positions staying low and aiming our guns at who appeared to be the Governor's men shooting into the prison. I fired my colt into Martinez who noticed us and began shooting back as we kept low.

"Stay low!" Rick shouted and I nodded, my ears ringing from the sound of his automatic rifle going off next to me. I could hear opposing gunfire coming back from the prison which meant they were fighting back.

The bullets were getting closer to our bodies as I pushed Rick back until we were half lying on our backs hidden in the grass. Rick reloaded with another cartridge and continued shooting in the direction of the wood. I used my colt bullets sparingly as I didn't take many out, instead I scanned the surrounding for where the Governor might be. Rick continued unleashing all the bullets at him until suddenly the gunfire stopped. He gave me a look and we could hear the faint sound of a truck engine in the distance.

I held my breath not knowing what was about to happen, the revving of the engine was extremely loud as I heard the sound of the prison fences being forced open and a truck driving in.

"Let's go," I whispered to him as we crawled our way until we were against the outer fence. I put my head up slightly to see an orange and white truck standing idle in the green field of the prison. Rick stood up purring his hand on the fence and looked in alarm.

"What is it?" I looked at his face. I stood up leaning down next to him as the metal barricade at the back of the truck pushed down to the ground. Suddenly dozens of Walkers scrambled out moaning and hungry for flesh.

"Shit!" I shouted reloading whatever bullets I had left for my colt in one hand and keeping my machete ready on my belt. The gunfire from both sides started again as another bullet just narrowly missed Rick when I pushed him down to the ground.

"Thanks." He looked at me gratefully.

"Hershel!" I shouted not being able to see the man.

"Hershel, get the hell out of here!" Rick shouted desperately. Rick checked the machine gun which was empty and dropped it to the floor pulling out his own gun.

I heard footsteps on the ground and turned around as the Walkers came snarling out of the woods. Stuffing the gun away, I traded it for my knife and stood beside Rick embedding the knife in the skull of the first one as it dropped to the floor. Rick clicked his hand gun which was out as we started backing away frustrated. I pulled out my gun and handed it to him as we backed away shooting and slicing at the Walkers.

We tried to go around the fence before more Walkers came. I leapt forward and sliced the Walker's head off before standing just behind Rick, we backed into the same way we came as he grabbed one of my hands making sure we didn't lose each other amongst the Walkers.

I could hear another truck as Glenn came driving back into the prison towards Hershel who stood up. I was suddenly pushed against the fence and saw a Walker who was reaching for my throat and had it's hands placed on my chest reaching forward to bite me. Another Walker joined and piled on top as I shouted trying to push it off.

Rick was trying to push the walkers off me but they were too strong when suddenly I heard a whoosh sound and the tip of an arrow embedded itself in the skull of a Walker. The Walker dropped to the ground as I heard a shout then the end of a sharp wooden stick which was inches from my face.

"Ha ha!" I looked at Merle's laughing face who took care of the other Walkers. I looked up and saw Daryl Dixon standing there with a crossbow. I gave him a wide grin as he nodded at me. Rick put his hands on my forearms and nodded as we sliced down the Walkers together with Merle and Daryl. We finished with the walkers as Rick nodded gratefully at Daryl but scowled at Merle who was chuckling.

We all stood up against the fence seeing the zombie's inside the field as the group had been herded to the inner courtyard. The Governor's car was nowhere to be seen and now we had to clear out the field again.

"Round 2 anyone?" I said tiredly.

 **A/N: Thoughts?**


	26. Chapter 26 - They're Back

**A/N: Heyy everyone! As promised, it is Monday and I am back with another chapter for you all! This chapter represents episode 11 from season 3 which is the aftermath of the Governor's initial attack and the return of Andrea! Temporarily at least, hope you guys enjoy and I'll try getting another chapter to you on Thursday too.**

 **Thank you for all the support and love for my story! Thanks to the people following and favouriting my story and me: DarkFireNyx and Lili Tommo! and to my lovely reviewers:**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: I was just as excited as you to rewrite Daryl back into the story! I have much love for our favourite archer, so much! Well Rick has a fever and he's losing his mind lol. and thank you constantly for supporting this story you comments mean a lot!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead!**

 **-Angels and Douchebags.**

I slammed the metal fence door behind me holding my shoulder which was bleeding. I put the padlock over it and backed away from the fence as Walkers reached their fingers out.

"Ya alright?" Rick asked me also full of dirt and injured breathing heavily.

"Ahh," I groaned holding my shoulder.

"Yeah I'm okay." I breathed out.

"Daryl, come here." The archer walked over to me with one eyebrow raised quizzically and stood in front of me. I reached up my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a hug which he returned.

"I'm glad yourself." I smiled at him pulling apart as he nodded. I took my hand and slapped his cheek glaring at him.

"Oww! What was that for?" Daryl cried out.

"For leaving." I glared at him.

"Aww don't I get a hug?" Merle smirked whilst Daryl shot his brother a look.

"You'll get this knife up your ass," I warned showing him the bloody knife which I wiped against the ground. I opened the gate which lead to the stairs that was going inside the cell block and walked up twinging as my shoulder pained.

"Pol, I think it's dislocated." Rick looked at me sympathetically.

"What?"

"We should pop it back in place now." Daryl said checking my shoulder with his hand as I swatted them away.

"I'd rather let Hers-"

"OWW! YOU PRICK!" I shouted feeling the sharp pain of my shoulder being clicked back into place. I gripped Rick's arms which I was sure had marks on them. Daryl looked at me guiltily before tapping my shoulder and opening the door to the prison building.

I let go of Rick's arm, saw my nail marks and began rubbing his arm.

"Sorry," I winced looking at his arm.

"It's alright. How's your shoulder feel?" Rick asked.

"It fucking hurts." I whined.

"Here." Rick took out some antibiotic pills from a jar and handed two to me.

"Merle's oxycycline." Rick said lowly so he wouldn't here.

"You're an angel." I smiled sweetly and swallowed the pills.

"Here let me help you." Rick held his arm out to steady me.

"It's fine, you keep an eye on Merle." I whispered, moving to walk slowly in front of him holding my shoulders.

I followed Daryl into the prison and wandered through the corridors with Rick and Merle's footsteps echoing behind me.

There was gonna be hell from the others.

"We're not leaving." Rick said firmly reloading the rifle in his hands. I was standing by a cell door with Michonne who gave me a curious look.

"We can't stay here." Hershel stated countering his point to Rick who had his back faced away from him.

"What if there's another sniper? A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds." Maggie said pulling out her pistol from behind her.

"We can't even go outside." Beth said incredulously.

"Not in the daylight." Carol piped in.

"If Rick says we're not running, we're not running." Glenn said pacing back and forth in front of us.

"These things usually go like this?" Michonne whispered and I nodded.

"More or less." I shrugged. I moved my shoulder slowly as I noticed it was easier and hurt less, thank god the painkillers were kicking in.

"No, better to live like rats." I rolled my eyes and stood up from my leaning position to look at Merle who was trapped in the bigger cells. Suffice to say that when the rest of the group saw him trailing in after us last night. Well, they lost their shit. So Rick explained how he helped us with the Walker problem so we came to a compromise, he wasn't allowed in the cellblock itself for now. Most of the group were okay with this arrangement but the atmosphere was tense and everyone was getting testy with each other.

"You got a better idea?" Rick turned around with his eyebrows raised at Merle.

"Yeah, we should've slid out of here last night, live to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we?" Merle taunted. Glenn came to stand against the wall beside me his face contorting in rage but he stayed calm.

"Bet he's got scouts out on every road by now." Merle said.

"We ain't scared of that prick." I glanced up at Daryl's voice who was pacing the upper level of the cell block.

"You should be, that thing with the truck through the fence? That was just him ringin' the doorbell. Sure we got some thick walls to hide behind, but if he takes the high ground. Shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to." Merle drawled.

"Let's put him in the other cellblock." Maggie said venomously wandering over to his cell.

"I second that." I said glaring at Merle.

"No, he's got a point." Daryl said calmly.

"This is all his fault!" Maggie shouted pointing at Merle.

"What's the difference who's fault it is? What do we do?" Beth came down the stairs towards Rick.

"I say we should leave." Hershel repeated his first statement.

"Now Axel's dead, we can't just sit here." Hershel looked directly at Rick. Rick turned around without saying a word to exit the cellblock.

"Get back here!" Hershel shouted angrily. The atmosphere was tense as everyone fell quiet and I looked at Hershel in shock seeing him get angry properly for the first time. Rick stopped in his tracks but stood with his back facing towards us.

"You're slipping, Rick. We understand why, but now is not the time." Hershel hobbled over to Rick and spoke in a calmer voice.

"You once said this isn't a democracy? Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something." Hershel finished his speech as Rick was now looking at him intently. In some respects Hershel was right, Rick needed to have his mind clear and as harsh as it was, he needed to put his grief on hold for the good of the group.

Rick nodded towards Hershel before looking down at the ground then at Hershel before he walked out of the cell block without saying a word. I was wondering whether or not to go see what he was up to before Carl stopped me.

"I'll go." Carl said.

"You sure kid?" I checked.

"Yeah." He gave me a half smile before following his father out of the cell block. Beth held Judith in her arms rocking her back and forth as she gurgled happily in her arms.

"Where you going?" Michonne asked as I moved down the block.

"My cell." I pointed and she nodded, cleaning her katana. I sat down on the bed feeling frustrated. The atmosphere was tense, I was happy, so happy that Daryl was back but with Merle? That was something I was not ready or willing to get used to. But it was something I'd take over losing Daryl again.

Hershel may have gotten through to Rick, but he disappeared again to do god knows what. Maggie and Glenn were still affected by what happened back at Woodbury. I sat down on the bed, flicking through the leather journal and saw it had been a while since I'd written in it. I opened it to a fresh new page and recounted the events that had taken place since moving into the prison, from Lori's death to Judith, to Woodbury and all the attacks and heartbreaks in between. By the time I was done I heard the cellblock door gate open as I came out of my cell to see Rick with rifle in his arms.

"Take watch. Eyes open, head down." Rick handed the keys to Maggie so she could go to our makeshift guard tower which was really a gated area attached to the prison building that we had reinforced with wood since the field was taken.

I went out in the common area to see Hershel and Michonne standing in one corner.

"Field's filled with walkers, I didn't see any snipers out there but we'll keep Maggie on watch." Rick stated putting the rifle in the cell next to mine. Daryl came down the stairs from his perch and over to where Michonne and Hershel were.

"I could get up in the guard tower, take out half these walkers and give the guys a chance to fix the fence." Daryl suggested.

"Or use some of the cars to put the bus in place." Michonne added.

"We can't access the field without burning through our bullets." Hershel reminded.

"So we're trapped in here, there's barely any food or ammo." Glenn joined the conversation.

"It's risky but we could go for a supply run. With more people to back us up this time." I suggested.

"I'd rather not risk any of those for now, especially after what happened." Rick said.

"We've been here before, we'll be alright." Daryl said looking at the ground.

"He's right, we should be focusing on how to re-structure and reinforce this prison as much as we can for the potential attack. We should try to find the best points we can defend it from. I think we should scout the prison and see." I explained as Daryl nodded.

"That's when it was just us, before there was a snake in the nest." Glenn said pointedly.

"Man we gonna go through this again?" Daryl came up to Glenn.

"Look Merle's stayin' here, he's with us now. Get used to it." Daryl said annoyed.

"Hey," Rick placed a tentative hand on Daryl's arm.

"All y'all." He turned to him and climbed up the stairs back to his perch.

"Seriously, Rick, I don't think Merle living here is really gonna fly." Glenn whispered to Rick.

"I can't kick him out." Rick defended.

"Seriously Rick, I wouldn't ask Shane to come and live with you after he tried to kill you." Glenn said frustrated.

"Merle has military experience, he may be erratic, but don't underestimate his loyalty to his brother." Hershel interjected calmly.

"The point being, if we kick Merle out we lose Daryl. And Daryl being our friend and a valuable member of the group we need him." I said glancing at Glenn.

"I'm sorry Glenn, I know it's hard believe me but I don't think at this point in time we have that luxury of a choice to make." I explained.

"What if we solve both problems at once? Deliver Merle as a bargaining chip to the Governor. Give him his traitor, maybe declare a truce." Glenn said.

"I've seen the way he is. The Governor is not a guy to be messed with, and he'll demand more than just Merle." I said seriously but the rest of the members of the group remained quiet considering what Glenn had said.

"Guys, if we get rid of Merle, then we lose Daryl." I said lowly glancing up towards the stairs, Glenn looked at me and shook his head walking off to go outside of the cellblock, presumably to join Maggie.

"You can't blame him." Hershel said eyeing me.

"I know, I know it seems like I'm accepting Merle as part of our group, but I'm not. He hurt two of my good friends and I'd rather see him as Walker bait." I spat.

"I know I would." Michonne said lowly.

"But I get why he has to be here for now. Glenn did have a point about trading Merle in." I quipped.

"You know how Daryl would react." Rick said with his hands on his hips.

"Yeah, I know." I nodded. Michonne went back to her cell and Hershel took care of Judith leaving me and Rick sitting on the stairs in silence.

"I wanted-" Rick began with his palms facing up before going quiet then looking back down on the ground.

"Yeah?" I nudged his shoulder with mine.

"The amount of times I owe you. I'm sorry for putting you in a difficult position." Rick said sincerely his blue eyes peering at me.

"Me going off like that, I can't imagine it made things easier." He said.

"It didn't." I chuckled as Rick let out a half smile.

"I'm grieving for Lori. But you are too, and so is Carl. And so is everybody, she was part of our group and your friend. I hadn't considered that. I was so wrapped up in myself, I didn't think." Rick sighed.

"Hershel was right, about me needing to clear my head. And I did." He stated looking back at me as I nodded listening to him.

"What did you find out?" I prompted.

"That I haven't been fair to ya, to any of you. You guys deserve better." Rick said.

"That's your problem." I interjected as he looked surprise at me.

"You think we deserve better than you Rick. You're wrong. We need you Rick. Just you." I turned to face him.

"And if you don't think you can handle it, pass the torch to somebody else." I said gently to make sure he knew I wasn't criticising him.

"Even just for a little while, you need some rest." I patted him on the shoulder. Rick started laughing slowly as a smile lit up his face. This was the first time I saw a genuine smile on his face and it made me feel warm inside.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You been talkin' to Carl? He said somethin' similar too." Rick answered with a grin.

"Smart kid." I chuckled. Our talk was interrupted by the sounds of gurgling and whining sounds coming from up the stairs. Judith.

"No, I'll take her. You rest." I stopped him from getting up and stood up walking up the stairs. I turned around to see Rick had stood up and was watching from the bottom. I pointed to his cell with my eyes narrowed as he put his hands up in surrender and trudged over to the cell.

"Hey baby," I looked down at the baby cooing who had tufts of blonde hair on her head.

"Aww, who woke you up?" I asked gently picking her up and rocking her in my arms. I paced around the perch and glanced out of the window to see more Walkers occupy the fields making me scowl.

"I would show you the view Judith, but you my friend were born in this shitty world." I chuckled rocking her gently. I looked down at the baby to see her eyes had fluttered closed and gently placed her back inside Daryl's handmade cradle.

"You're good with her." Carol stood standing there with a smile on her face.

"I'm good with everyone." I grinned at her.

"How's Daryl?" I asked seeing she had just come out of his cell.

"He'll be alright." She smiled and I nodded. An uncomfortable silence passed between us as I shuffled my feet together.

"About the other day, when I came in your cell-" Carol started.

"Carol-" I interrupted hoping the conversation didn't lead where I thought it was going.

"Please, just let me." She pleaded as I took a deep breath and gestured for her to continue speaking.

"The marks I saw on your back. You were abused, weren't you?" Carol asked gently walking up to me. I didn't look up to meet her gaze but could feel the tears in my eyes nonetheless.

"It was a long time ago." I beamed at her blinking away the sadness and the memories before sitting down on the perch. Carol came and sat beside me as I looked out of the window.

"I don't know if you know this. But my husband Ed, he used to physically beat me. And Sophia." I looked at her in surprise. I heard rumours of him hurting her but not Sophia?! I felt my blood boil at the thought of her father hurting her. I knew first hand what that had felt like, and if I only knew how to fight then like I do now. I could've stopped my father.

"And I never stood up to him. I was so afraid of leaving him. Especially when all this started. When he died, when he got killed by walkers, I was so relieved. Thinking about it, I wouldn't be the woman I am today, my experiences made me stronger." Carol finished.

"It was my father." I said.

"He was a raging alcoholic, charged with manslaughter of my mother. She stood up to him for me and he beat her so badly, she died from her injury." I wrapped my arms around my shoulders shivering for a minute.

"Oh, Polaris." Carol said in a gentle voice.

"I'm sorry." She said wrapping one of her arms around my shoulder.

"It was a long time ago." I leaned my head into Carol, seeking the comfort and warmth of her motherly embrace.

"You have more in common with the people here than you think." Carol said as I lifted my head up.

"We're your family now, we stick up for each other." Carol said firmly and I smiled.

"Yeah, I'm glad I found you guys." I said standing up and brushing off the dust from my clothes.

"I'm starved, I'm gonna go down to the cafeteria and see what food we have left to spare." Carol said stretching her back.

"See ya," I waved as she walked down the stairs and out of the cellblock. Boy these heart to hearts with people were taking a lot out of me!

"Dad! Dad! Pol! Daryl!" I looked down over the edge of the perch to see Carl sweaty and out of breath with his rifle. I looked at Daryl quizzically who had come to stand beside me. The urgency in his voice made us snap out of it and run down the stairs following him.

"Rick!" I called out.

"I'm coming." He said reloading his rifle. Michonne came out of her cell with her katana as we followed Carl out of the cellblock and through the prison. We reached the cafeteria and went through the doors and out of the gated metal door with Merle following behind.

Rick placed his rifle on the jeep standing nearby as I stood behind with my colt, replacing the empty cartridge with bullets. Carl and Maggie had resumed their places on keeping watch at the temporary guard towers we made.

"What's up?" I whispered to Rick just in front of me.

"Maggie said she saw Andrea." Ricks stated looking into the eyepiece. Me and Michonne shared a look in surprise as Merle fixed the sharp metal blade to his arm. Daryl notched an arrow into his crossbow and aimed it in case any of the Walkers came.

The walkers were getting more agitated suggesting that Andrea was close. How on earth she was managing to get through the field was beyond me.

"Go," Rick said to me as I jumped out from behind the truck with a spare rifle and aimed it out into the field. There was no sign of anyone coming.

"Clear." I said to the others as we paced across the courtyard quietly and alert. Merle and Daryl came out taking the rear as Rick stayed in front. As we ran across I saw a mop of blonde hair holding a Walker with no jaws or arms.

"Are you alone?" Rick shouted as we ran over to where the gate was.

"Open the gate!" Andrea said urgently.

"Are You Alone?!" Rick shouted with his back up against the fence scouting the courtyard. I aimed the rifle out into the field in case any of the Governor's men were lurking nearby.

"Rick!" Andrea shouted desperately as she moved closer to the gate. Rick threw me the keys and kept his rifle up as I unlocked the padlock and Daryl helped me slide it open. Andrea came in as I closed the gate and locked it.

"Hands up!" Rick kept the rifle on her as I lowered mine.

"What?!" Andrea said incredulously.

"Hands up! Turn around now!" he pushed her against the fence so her arms were up against it and searched taking her gun and weapons throwing them on the floor. Michonne came to stand beside me as we glanced at Andrea who was kneeling on the ground.

"I asked if you were alone." Rick grounded out with one hand on the back of her shirt.

"I am!" She said looking surprised as he threw the brown bag she had on her to the other side of the courtyard. Daryl and Merle kept watch with the rifles and Carl came out into the courtyard with a bulletproof vest and his gun.

"Welcome back. Get up." Rick patted her back as she stood up. Her eyes finally landed on us and she walked over looking face to face. I was the first to move and stepped forward to give her a tight hug which she returned.

"After all that's happened. I'm glad your safe." I sighed into her shoulders before pulling away giving her a half smile.

"But man you need a shower." I scrunched up my nose at the smell coming off her as she rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Michonne, I'm sor-" Andrea didn't finish as Michonne also wrapped her up in a hug. I looked at my two friends opposite me and smiled. Rick was standing nearby as I gestured for them to follow us back into the cell block.

"I don't know why she's here. For all we know she could've been involved in the Governor's attacks." Rick said lowly to me as we walked down the corridors.

"I don't think she would. But one thing I can't put my finger on is why she didn't come looking for us sooner if she knew what he was doing?" I wondered out loud as we finally reached our cell-block. Rick unlocked the gate into the cafeteria area as we put our rifles on the table followed by Michonne, Andrea, Daryl and Merle. Carol stopped when she saw Andrea and pulled her in for a hug. Maggie stood just offside eager to greet her as Daryl sat on top of the table scrutinising her.

"After you saved me, we thought you were dead." Carol said with a shaky voice still hugging her.

"Hershel my god." Andrea came out of Carol's arms to look at Hershel who was standing on his crutches.

"I can't believe this." Andrea whirled round to look at the rest of the group.

"Where's Shane?" Andrea asked Rick.

"Bastard's dead." I spat out as Andrea looked at me in shock. The members of the group said nothing.

"And Lori?" She looked at Rick who was reminded of his pain and looked down back at the ground.

"She had a girl. Lori didn't survive." Hershel stated as Andrea was wearing an expression of shock and upset on her face.

"Neither did T-Dog." Maggie said as Andrea faced her. I felt bad for her then, her and T-Dog became pretty close.

"I'm so sorry." She said genuinely.

"Carl," Andrea stepped forward towards him as Carl's bright blue eyes looked at her.

"Rick I-" Andrea made a movement towards him but Rick backed off towards the side.

"You all live here?" She asked.

"Here and the cellblock." I gestured behind me.

"There?" She pointed.

"Can I go in?" She asked walking towards the gated door leading into C-block.

"I won't allow that." Rick stepped quickly in front of her as she looked at him in hurt.

"I'm not the enemy." She defended.

"We had that field, courtyard, until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up." Rick said venomously.

"He said you fired first." Andrea said confused.

"He lied Andrea. He's lying about who he is." I stepped forward until I was standing just behind her.

"He killed an inmate who survived in here," Hershel pointed out.

"We liked him, he was one of us." Daryl said with his hands over his crossbow.

"I didn't know. Hell I didn't know y'all were in Woodbury until the shootout." Andrea said.

"That was days ago Andrea." I gave her a look saying she needed to convince them, I wasn't sure what to believe but being with Andrea for long I knew that she wasn't capable of something like that. Was she?

"What did you two tell them?" She said accusingly.

"Nothing!" I defended.

"I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?" Andrea turned to the rest of the group frustrated.

"He almost killed Michonne and he almost killed us." Glenn said calmly.

"With his finger on the trigger. Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you?" She pointed intently at Merle.

"I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done, but I am here trying to bring us together." She said in a calmer voice.

"We have to work this out." Andrea said and I couldn't believe my ears.

"There's nothing to work out. We're going to kill him. I don't know how, or when but we will." Rick said with a frown on his face.

"We can settle this. There is room at Woodbury for all of you." She said looking at him then around to the rest of the group.

"Not with that man in charge. No way." I interrupted.

"What makes you think this man is willing to negotiate, did he say that?" Hershel asked trying to diffuse some of the tension in the air.

"No." Andrea said looking down.

"Why did you come here?" Rick asked.

"Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack." Andrea exasperated.

"Then we gotta be ready," I said to the group who agreed.

"Tell Philip when you see him I'm gonna take his other eye." Daryl said lowly.

"We've taken shit for too long. If he wants a war? He's got one." Glenn said.

"Rick," Andrea turned to our leader who was mulling over everything she was saying.

"If you don't sit down and try to work this out? I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town. You've lost so much already." She said helplessly.

"You wanna help then get us inside." Rick came up to her until they were face to face.

"No-"

"Then we got nothing to talk about." Rick shrugged her off walking out of the cafeteria.

"There are innocent people!" She shouted but he ignored her and walked off back to C-block. The rest of the group dispersed back on watch and back to the cell-block doing different things. Michonne and Andrea had wandered outside for a talk as I began taking inventory.

We had about 20 cans of different potatoes and tomato tins left as well as a few packets of crisps and some bottles of coke. We still had enough baby formula for Judith but this food between us? This was only going to last us a few more days, we need to make a run and soon.

"We need to make another run." I said.

"How much we got left?" Daryl came up next to me with his crossbow over his back.

"A couple of days if we can stretch it." I said scratching my neck.

"I'll talk to Rick, maybe we can go tomorrow." Daryl said as I nodded.

"What do you think about Andrea being back?" I asked him looking at the hunter who's hair fell over his eyes now.

"I dunno." Daryl shrugged.

"I think I believe her bout not knowin' what the Governor did. But she shoulda opened her eyes." Daryl said and I nodded.

I didn't know on what terms Michonne and Andrea parted but from what Michonne told me, Andrea had picked the Governor and a warm bed over her friend. And that didn't sit well with me. But she wanted to live not just survive, so I understand her reason for staying in Woodbury.

"You?" he asked.

"I believe her. Still don't change the fact she picked Woodbury over me and Michonne." I said counting the cans on the top shelf. I went on my tiptoes to reach to the packet of food hiding on the back shelf. Daryl leaned his arm up over me and pulled it down handing it to me as I looked at him gratefully.

"You alright Daryl?" I asked the hunter who seemed more quiet and more reserved than normal.

"Yeah," Daryl muttered putting the cans back over the top shelf.

"Sure?" I pressed him gently.

"Yeah, just glad to be back." He stated and I smiled at him.

"I'm gonna take watch, give Carl a break." He said before walking off out of the cafeteria and towards the other side of the prison. I stood by the food cans for a while, trying to keep myself busy doing some sort of cleaning before Andrea came out.

"Pol," She called as I turned around to go to her.

"Hey," I said wiping my forehead.

"You meet Judith yet?"

"Yeah, she's a sweetheart." Andrea smiled slightly.

"Carol told me. What you, Maggie and Carl did. I can't even imagine what that must've been like." Andrea said sympathetically.

"It's okay. We lost Lori, but we could a beautiful new life. And that's something to be grateful for." I said.

"Rick doesn't seem to be doing good." She observed.

"He's going through a lot. Difficult time." I answered carefully.

"He must be, I know you're taking care of him though." Andrea put her hands on her hips looking at me.

"Doing my best." I chuckled.

"Do you hate me?" She asked suddenly.

"No." I answered honestly.

"Whatever differences we have or had, you're still my friend and you've had my back countless times. I believe you when you said you didn't know what the Governor did." I explained.

"Well Michonne does." Andrea said sadly.

"No she doesn't." I chuckled.

"Look what happened between you and Michonne, from her point of view it looks like you left her. Especially after all she's done for us, she felt like you weren't loyal to her, you guys need to work it out between you." I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yeah, I don't think she's looking to forgive me anytime soon." Andrea scoffed.

"Give it time, next time you come back." I said smiling.

She held her pack in her hand as I walked her out into the courtyard out of the prison where the others were waiting. Maggie and Daryl opened the brown gate to the other section of the prison where the cars were parked and Glenn drove one of the old cars in. Carl was standing against the fence as Rick was waiting beside him. I joined them as Andrea opened the car door turning back to face us.

"Can you spare it?" She asked Rick.

"Yeah," He said calmly.

Andrea looked around at the rest of the group as her eyes lingered on Carol then on Daryl. Daryl gave her a nod of approval as Andrea got in the car and closed the door.

"Well, take care." She said disappointedly. I reached my arms in and gave her a half hug from inside the car before untangling my arms from her.

"Be safe." I said as she smiled.

"Andrea, be careful." Rick handed her a loaded gun before nodding at her.

"You too." She smiled as we backed off from the car. The car started and Andrea drove off beyond the gate leading to the field. Merle opened the fence as she quickly drove out down the field of Walkers and shut the gate behind him. We watched her car drive all the way down beyond the prison walls until she was out of sight. Be careful Andrea.

It was night when we lit a fire in the cell-block and it was all quiet. Everyone was sitting or standing in different places not talking to each other, just thinking. I was sitting halfway up the stairs writing a poem in my leather journal when I heard footsteps coming down next to me. Rick stood on the bottom step looking at me as he cradled Judith in his arms.

" _They hung a sign up in our town."_

I looked up from my writing to here Beth's sweet voice singing a song. Rick came off the stairs and walked towards her with Judith.

 _"If you live it up, you won't live it down."_

She continued looking at Hershel who smiled at his daughter's singing.

 _"So she left Monte Rio, son, just like a bullet leaves a gun."_

Beth smiled at Carol as I closed the journal and went down to sit next to her by the small lantern and candles we had lit. I smiled encouragingly as she looked at me continued singing.

 _"With charcoal eyes and Monroe hips,_

 _She went and took the California trip."_

Beth glanced up at Rick who was holding the quiet Judith in his arms and was looking intently at her.

 _"Well the moon was gold and her hair like wind._

 _Said don't come now, just come on, Jim."_

I looked up hearing footsteps, seeing Merle wander into the cell block, leaning against the gate of C-block listening to Beth singing.

 _"You got to hold on, hold on._

 _You got to hold on._

 _Take my hand, I'm standing right here."_

 _"You got to hold on."_

Her melodious voice echoed around the prison as I listened in awe at her beautiful singing.

 _"Well he gave her a dime-store watch,_

 _And a ring made from a spoon._

 _Everyone's looking for someone to blame,_

 _If you share my bed you share my name."_

Beth looked back at Maggie and Glenn who were sitting side by side together on the stairs. I glanced back at Rick, Hershel and Daryl who were talking lowly to each other about something serious. They turned back to us as I looked at Rick who was looking intensely at me.

And I wandered what was lying in those curls of his. What troubles plagued his beautiful blue eyes.

I only knew one thing.

We got to hold on. Hold on.

 **A/N: I seem to have lost some of you lovely reviewers. where have y'all gone?**


	27. Chapter 27 - The Run: Part one

**A/N: Hi, so I was actually kinda disappointed and surprised that there was only one response on the chapter. Usually because I thought it was quite a long one and I really look forward to reading your comments and reviews :( Anyways here's another chapter for whoever's reading, its the run Rick takes michonne and carl on in the show where they finally bond. Okay and in terms of updating, I think once a week will have to do, I've underestimated how busy uni made me :(, I might surprise you some weeks and update twice. The update date will range from the weekend to Monday depending on when I get it done, but I will do my best to get you an awesome chapter once a week!**

 **The inspiration for this chapter, well I thought I should show one of the troubles of being a female, translated to the post-apocalyptic world... :p I had to split this chapter up because it was getting so long so there will be a part one and part two. But don't worry, there are plenty of fluffy moments for all of you and some deviation from the story.**

 **Thanks to the support for this story, particularly the people who have followed and favourited: Where'sMyBones, laxtjedi and 223, you guys are awesome!**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: Aww thank you! Well in the show Andrea says she didn't know but I think if she really investigated Woodbury she would've found out, for me it's more she didn't want to know because she thought she had found this perfect place to build a new life. turns out it wasn't so perfect after all.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking dead, or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

I woke up next morning to my name being called from outside my cell. I opened my eyes and groaned seeing the sun coming in through the top window. That meant it was still early morning, which meant this was definitely Rick's doing.

"Pol," Rick was calling my name in a gentle voice.

"Mmph," I made a sound so he knew I was awake but really I wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up.

He poked his head around my sheet to look into the cell as I was half sitting up rubbing my eyes.

"Daryl told me you said we need to make a run." He came into my cell but stayed on the other side seeing I had just woken up.

"Yeah we need more food." I sat up in the low bunk rubbing my eyes.

"Me, you, Michonne and Carl are going." Rick said hands on his hips.

"Carl? You sure?" I checked.

"Yeah he's ready." Rick said. I got out of bed as my feet hit the cold floor I winced. I looked at Rick expectantly who stood at the corner.

"Uh Rick, I need to change." I chuckled but he zoned out.

"I can't start undressing right here." I joked then mentally slapped my face at making a stupid joke.

"Oh right. Sorry." Rick's cheeks tinged pink before he left the cell.

"We're leaving in 15." He called from

outside the cell.

I stood up and saw what clean clothes I had left to spare. Suddenly I was doubled over in pain coming from the region just below my stomach.

"Oh not now." I whispered. I pulled my trousers down and sure enough there was a small spot of red. I pulled the trousers back up and pulled out spare clothes and laced my boots up.

I made a small pack with a can and some water to take as well as extra bullets and an extra knife. I set the pack down outside my cell and pulled the white sheet back coming out of the cell.

Rick and Michonne were standing idly waiting for me and looked over curiously as I felt flustered.

"Yo! Does anyone have any pads?" I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted out in the cell block. Rick was wearing an uncomfortable expression on his face whilst Michonne smirked slightly.

"I got tampons?" Maggie popped her head out of her cell which was a few doors down.

"Haven't ever worn and not starting now. There's no way I'm sticking that up my-" I glanced over at Rick who looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

"No thanks Maggie. Can you ask Beth?" Maggie nodded and disappeared inside the cell. I tapped my foot impatiently when a couple of minutes later, Maggie came out of the cell.

"Beth's got tampons too." Maggie said apologetically and I groaned.

"Did someone say they needed pads?" I looked up as Carol peered over the edge.

"I do!" I called out.

"Why are y'all shoutin' so early?" Daryl stood beside Carol from his perch glaring down at us. He was rubbing his eyes and his fair was all over his face.

"Sorry Daryl." I smiled sheepishly as he flipped me off before settling back down in his perch. I climbed up the stairs to Carol.

"My period just started, I need some pads." I looked at Carol who disappeared inside her cell and pulled out two from her pack.

"Lifesaver!" I gave her a quick hug then went back down the stairs keeping the pads in my hand by my side.

"Give me 5 minutes." I said to Michonne and Rick, the former was looking at me in amusement whilst the latter looked slightly uncomfortable.

Fully changed, I attached the belt to my waist with the colt and machete and took my pack.

"Ready?" Rick asked with an eyebrow looking slightly amused by the whole ordeal.

"Yep." I said.

"Hey Carl," I smiled at the boy who was holding Judith in his arms.

"Hi," He glanced up smiling slightly.

"I'll take her." Carol came over and took the quiet baby in her arms shushing her.

"Hopefully, we'll be back before sundown." Rick said to Carol and Carl. Daryl came down the stairs to see us off.

"You guys hold the fort down while we're gone." Rick looked at Daryl who nodded.

"You got it." Daryl said.

We took one of the silver jeeps kept in our modified car park as Michonne volunteered to drive. Rick reluctantly handed her the keys as she got in the driver's seat and Rick sat beside her in the passenger side. Carl and I sat in the back where I gave him my CD player to keep himself occupied. Me on the other hand, I was doubled over in pain from menstrual cramps and wished for some painkillers right now.

They hadn't been this painful in so long, I wonder what brought them on. Michonne drove smoothly down the highway which had old cars crashed on the side and occasional Walkers in relative silence. I was on the other hand trying to massage my back and front which were cramping hard.

"What are you doing?" I looked beside me at Carl who was looking at me curiously.

"Uh, trying to massage my back," I smiled sheepishly at him.

"Why?" He asked taking an earbud out.

"I'm in some pain." I winced feeling another wave of cramps pass through my lower body.

"Oh," Carl said before going back to listening to the songs.

"Pol you alright?" Michonne glanced at me through the rear-view mirror in concern before focusing on the road. Her question also got Rick's attention who turned around to face me.

"Period pains." I said groaning.

"You gonna be okay for this run?" Rick asked looking back.

"Uh yeah, yeah I'll be fine." I waved him off.

"You could always wait in the car?" He offered.

"Are you kidding? I want to see your hometown." I grinned making him smile.

"See where little Rick Grimes grew up and became sheriff." I leaned back on the chair.

"Deputy." Rick corrected.

"What?"

"I was a Sheriff's deputy." He said his arm lazily draped against the window.

"Wait this whole time I've been calling you sheriff? I was wrong and you never corrected me?" I sat up slightly shocked.

"You seemed so persistent in calling me that so I just let you." Rick shrugged.

"Deputy." I tested it out before scrunching up my face.

"It doesn't feel right. Sheriff sounds good." I said decidedly.

"You can call me whatever you like. Sheriff, deputy, Rick." He turned back with a slight smile.

"Thanks Sheriff." I tipped my head as if I was wearing a hat and he rolled his eyes at me.

The mood in the car shifted to a lighter tone as Carl handed the CD player back to me. On the side of the road I spotted a red shirt wearing body, but whether it was alive or walking dead? I didn't know. As we got closer I saw that it was a hitchhiker, we didn't know who he was.

"Hey, hey! Slow down! Please, I'm begging you!" He screamed at us as Michonne continued driving past. We couldn't take any chances anymore, and we didn't have enough food or resources for others. Carl looked back at the man out of the back window who tried running after us before turning his eyes to his father.

The car was slowing down as the road was blocked by a pile up of cars, Michonne slowly veered off-road into the grass as I looked inside the cars seeing the dead bodies. The poor bastards that never made it out. I rolled down the window feeling the heat as I heard snarling coming from my side. Looking over I saw a Walker trapped under the side of the car desperately clawing it's way out.

The car stopped abruptly as I leaned forward to see why Michonne had stopped. Rick turned his attention to her as she revved the car which spluttered on the ground. She tried again slamming her foot down on the gas pedal.

"What's wro-"

A walker slammed on Rick's window glass when more came round, a moment too late I realised my window was open and dead decaying hands reached in and grabbed my collar. I was furiously trying to push it off but it had a vice like grip. Carl was pulling be back towards him from the waist as I pushed the Walker off and rolled up the window cutting the arm off in the process which landed on the seat next to me and blood splattered on my face.

"You alright?" Rick leaned back in alarm looking at me.

"Yeah, this is gross." I frowned in disgust.

"Thanks kid." I gave him a hug as he nodded. The Walkers were bloody and banging on the glass trying to get in.

"Cover your ears." Rick instructed all three of us. He opened his window a crack and shot his gun into the head of the Walker.

"Do your side." He told me. I covered my left ear and took out my colt, opening the window slightly firing the weapon. We made quick work of the Walkers and got out of the car inspecting what had happened.

"How do we get this out?" I had taken off my blood stained jacket and was left in a light T-shirt standing and looking at the muddy tires. Rick stood for a moment before going over to the red car and pulling out a floral sheet. Michonne was looking inside for supplies whilst Carl stood against the car waiting.

"Yeah this'll work." Rick said looking at the fabric in his hands.

"Hey," He called me and Carl over to the jeep as Michonne got in the driver's seat once more.

"Put a little gravel in here with the sticks and tied with fabric, gives the wheels a bit of traction." He bent down on the floor as I stood over them.

"Wouldn't have to do it if she didn't get us stuck." Carl moped. I looked at the younger boy in surprise and realised I had never asked him what he had thought of Michonne or how he felt about her joining us.

"It was an honest mistake." Rick and Carl stood up walking over to the front tire.

"Why'd you let her come? She took you to Woodbury, and you said she just split on you guys. And Oscar died-" Carl complained to us.

"It wasn't that simple. I asked her to come today." Rick interrupted.

"Carl, she's the one who actually helped take care of me for those 8 months I was gone for, if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here right now." I bent down on the floor next to them looking from Rick to Carl.

"And about Woodbury, it was more complicated than that, she had things to take care of." I worded it carefully.

"Her coming along with us will actually help, she can help us find guns and prove herself to the group and to you." Rick nudged Carl as I looked at Rick.

"But she shouldn't have to because I already trust Pol, but it's easier to convince the rest of the group too." Rick explained to Carl who nodded.

"Leaving her at the prison with Merle isn't a good idea. We've also got common interests. We've got the same problems we can work out together." Rick stated.

"Help! Help me! I'm begging you!" I put a hand on my holster and looked over seeing the same man from before running towards our car from the distance.

"Please!" We all stood up quickly.

"Michonne." I gestured as she switched on the car engine which started. She reversed the car engine which came out of the mud as we got in the car and drove off before the man could get to us.

We drove for another 20 minutes past more highways until we were getting onto smaller roads with Rick giving Michonne the right direction. We came up beside train tracks and stopped the car just outside the town. I heaved the pack on my back and looked at the old Country Medical Office.

Rick and Carl led the way with me and Michonne following behind them as we entered the small town. I pulled out my colt and kept it down low in one hand whilst Michonne had her hand hovering over the katana. Just in case.

I found my gaze wandering over to the man walking quietly in front of me. His curly hair looked so soft and was pushed back, he was sporting more of a beard due to the lack of a razor and his eyes. Still as blue as the ocean. My eyes wandered down his back where I could see his back muscles and down the rest of his body.

"Hey, Pol." I looked over at Michonne who was trying to get my attention.

"What are you doing?" She raised an eyebrow at me following my gaze.

"Nothing." I said quickly but I couldn't help the change in colour of my cheeks as they heated up.

"Are you using this run as an opportunity to ogle Rick?" Michonne was smirking.

"Keep your voice down." I hissed hoping the two males in front hadn't heard her remark.

"And I use every opportunity to do that. It's the apocalypse. I have every right to unashamedly admire the goods. " I grinned gesturing to the back of Rick.

"It's so blatantly obvious you like him." Michonne whispered as we kept an eye out over the deserted roads.

"Nah it's not." I said dismissively.

"Uh yes. It is. I haven't been around you that much and I can see it." Michonne rolled her eyes.

"Well it's not to him." I said wistfully looking back at Rick in front of me.

"He definitely likes you." Michonne said.

"Maybe he did before but now? I don't think so." I shrugged.

"What do you mean before? Did something happen?" Michonne asked shocked.

"Kinda." I sheepishly smiled at her.

"You can't not tell me." She prompted.

"He sorta kinda kissed me." I said quietly as Michonne's eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

"That's good!" She said in a low voice.

"Uh it was spur of the moment and he had a wife!" I said.

"Since losing Lori, I don't know he's been different. Distant and quiet. But he's getting much better now I can see it." I said looking as Rick and Carl were joking about something in front of us.

"So maybe things will be different." Michonne said.

"I'm not keeping my hopes up." I sighed.

"The problem is; none of y'all wanna make the first move. Somebody's got to." Michonne looked at me expectantly as I said nothing.

We reached the police station which appeared to be ransacked, from looting and walked inside. The cells were empty, the offices had lockers and shoes thrown all over the place. We went inside the locked cage where the weapons were usually kept and found it to be completely empty. Rick put his hands up around his neck sighing in frustration before kicking the wall. He paced around trying to figure out what to do.

"You got any other police stations in town?" Michonne said picking up an empty bullet shell.

"I was the police here, me and a few other guys." Rick said frustrated. Carl looked at his father and back to Michonne studying her.

"There are other places to check. Bars might have." I suggested.

"That was my thinking, there's a liquor store. It doesn't have as many guns as were in here." Rick paced.

"We need as many guns as were in here. Ammo too." Michonne said looking at the empty bullet boxes.

"I know bars will have, owners keep a gun or two behind the counter. I signed the permits." He said.

"Do you have a problem with that approach?" Rick asked Michonne who was standing apprehensively and I felt the slight tension.

"No Rick, I don't have a problem." Michonne said calmly handing him a bullet before walking out of the weapons cage.

"Easy." I whispered putting a hand on his forearm before following Michonne out. We came out of the police station and walked along the town roads following the painted arrows until we came and rounded a corner.

There were strange cooing sounds coming from one direction.

"What is it?" I whispered to Rick in front of me as we stood against the wall.

"I don't know." He said walking forward.

Rick walked ahead as I stood near Carl out onto the main town road. There were bins and various stands made with sharpened wooden sticks pointing out of them. Presumably acting as some sort of defence. Rick stopped and looked down at the ground. Underneath our feet were words painted in red:

TURN AROUND AND LIVE

"You guys think sometimes we should actually read the signs?" I asked uneasily looking at the words.

"You good?" Rick asked as they walked in front.

"Yeah." I stayed at the back of the group as we avoided the weapons walking through them, I was half expecting Walkers to jump out. I didn't like the gut feeling I was getting from this place. We shouldn't be here.

I felt another wave of pain hit my lower back as I resisted the urge to groan out loud. Finding painkillers would be amazing. I put one hand on my lower back and kept the other hanging lazily over my gun.

There were different signs painted on the walls as we passed the defences. There were birds in a cage and more sticks pointing out of bins and cars.

"Looks like somebody's already made this theirs." Michonne said.

"Doesn't mean they found what we're lookin' for. A couple of the places are just up ahead. Lets get in and get the hell out of here." Rick said quietly.

We manoeuvred around the defences and under the ropes which were put in the way by someone.

"There, just up ahead." Rick pointed to a place which looked like a bar.

"Terrell's. One shotgun, two handguns. License issued to Will Debbs." He said. I heard groaning coming from nearby and turned around seeing a Walker stumbling towards us. It was following us around the defences.

"Rick." I hissed from behind Michonne as he turned around. I took out my machete and started walking before I felt an arm pull me back. I looked up and saw Rick standing next to me.

"Wait, she'll get caught." he gestured to the walker who was trapped on the barbed wire. A minute later blood splattered off the head of the Walker and it stopped groaning. Our heads whipped around to where the gunshot came from and we looked up. On the roof of the building was a masked man holding a long range rifle and wearing protective pads.

"Hands!" He shouted towards us. We rushed over closer to where the man was and put our hands up to show him we meant no harm.

"Now you drop what you've got, and you go!" He shouted angrily. This wasn't a man to be messed with I knew that much.

"Your gun, your shoes, that sword. And that machete!" He called out.

"All of it! Ten seconds!" He emphasised.

"Run to the car now, take Carl." Rick instructed us quietly next to him.

"Dad!" Carl whispered.

"That rifle would come in real handy." I said.

"We need it." Michonne whispered.

"Ten! Nine! Eight!" He started counting.

"I could get up there. Me and Michonne could." I said to Rick who gave me a side-look.

"Seven! Six!" The masked man continued.

"Carl, Go." Rick said calmly. In one stroke he pushed me away towards Michonne and pushed Carl behind him to run off. Rick pulled up his gun and fired a few bullets at the mans feet. I ducked down in front of a black jeep as Rick continued firing. The man fired back and I yanked Rick down by his collar before he got shot.

We reloaded our guns and stayed down behind the ford. We took a moment before jumping out behind the jeep, guns pointed towards the roof. But there was no one there. Suddenly a figure emerged and I lowered Rick's gun before he could fire.

"Jesus christ that was fast." I gasped seeing Michonne on the roof looking questioningly at us. We looked around the road to see where Carl had run off to hoping he was safe and where that masked man was.

A figure emerged quickly from the bottom of the building and began firing. I was in the firing line before I was pulled back and I heard a groan in front of me. Rick was holding his shoulder. He had been shot.

"Shit!" I cursed throwing his arm around my shoulder.

"Can you walk?" He groaned in pain.

"Okay we got to get to that bin, bear with me." I looked at him sympathetically before running to duck behind the blue bin with the tree. I sat Rick down and pressed his hand over his right shoulder.

"Pressure." I ordered. I pulled out my gun to shoot back but another shot fired through the air and the fast rifle bullet sounds stopped. I looked behind the tree to see Carl standing over the man with his gun. Michonne came out of the building with her sword up looking at the man lying on the floor then back up at Carl.

I helped Rick off the floor with difficulty as we walked over to where the man was.

"Dad!" Carl shouted meeting us halfway running towards us as we reached the man lying on the ground.

"What happened?" Michonne asked.

"He got shot, right shoulder." I strained, not having the strength to hold his weight. I sat him down against the wall of the building and pulled down the shirt from his neck seeing the bullet hole.

"Carl, listen he's okay but we need to wrap the wound." I said to the boy who looked alarmed. He had already lost one parent and I was damned if he was going to lose another.

"You okay?" Rick asked Carl who nodded.

"I told you to run for the car. I didn't want you to have to do that." Rick was sweating and his eyes were opening and closing.

"I had to." Carl stated.

"Okay, plenty of time to talk about why 12 year olds shouldn't be using guns later." I sat kneeling in front of Rick.

"I got this, you guys check the man, see if he's breathing." I said to Michonne and Carl who went to open the man's shirt.

"You, Mr Grimes keep talking. I don't need you unconscious." I said to Rick who was now pale. I took off my jacket and pressed it against his shoulder putting both of Rick's hands over it.

"Aren't you a doctor?" He asked.

"Doctor of science, I've got no medical training." I said opening my pack to see if I had brought any bandages with me, honestly that would've been a good idea. I rummaged through the items but found no linens. I looked at my leather jacket Rick was holding wistfully and decided.

"So do you know what you're doing?" Rick asked.

"Uh no." I smiled sheepishly as his face flashed in concern.

"If I die I'm coming back to haunt you." Rick teased his eyes closing.

"No, stay awake." I tapped his cheek a few times until his eyes opened.

"I'm about to ruin my favourite jacket for you." I said taking the jacket off his shoulder and putting his hands back over his wound which was bleeding.

"He's wearing body armour." Carl called out.

"Still alive?" I asked.

"Yeah, the bullet just grazed him." Michonne said.

I took out the machete and began cutting through the leather as best as I could until I made long strips of it with the knife. I tied strips together to make the bandages.

"I'll get you a new one." Rick promised.

"I'm gonna hold you to that." I grinned at him as he managed a small smile.

"I need to lift your shirt." I asked for permission before lifting the bottom of it gently and taking one arm out of the sleeve until he was half naked in front of me.

"Woah now, we're not at that stage of our relationship yet." Rick teased his voice wavering making me laugh.

"Are you flirting? Or is it the blood loss?" I asked incredulously. I reached behind and wrapped the leather strip under his armpit and back across where his right shoulder was until it was fully covered and blood wasn't dripping through.

"To save myself from embarrassment, let's say blood loss." Rick said.

"You do have timing don't you?" I chuckled tying off the leather.

"I can't move my arm." Rick tried to shift his arm.

"That's the point." I said pushing the shirt back over his head. It looked strange with the bulky leather sticking out but at least he wasn't bleeding.

"How am I gonna shoot?" He looked up at me.

"Uh you aren't, I am." I said. I gave him a bottle of water from my pack and an apple to get his energy back up.

"Eat." I said. I put his gun in the left hand and walked over to Michonne as Carl went to go see his father.

 **A/N: Uhh thoughts? the deviation is that Rick doesn't actually get shot. I made him get shot here so that Polaris would take over the run with Michonne and to show that she can handle stuff whilst Rick is recovering, I really loved it when Morgan came back in season 5 it was a shame he only returned once in this season 3 episode!**


	28. Chapter 28 - The Run: part two

**A/N: Hey everyone! I know it's been too long, like 8 days since I uploaded but honestly nothing keeps you busy like uni does :( But as promised I am keeping to doing it once a week and I have the second half of the episode for you in this chapter! It's slow-paced but I wanted to build relationships and have more emotions and dialogue. And I wanted to include as many of Morgan lines as possible because his acting in these scenes were phenomenal, props to Lennie James! I hate being that person to ask for reviews, but they really do motivate me to write chapters quicker and upload quicker, so if anyone else could leave time to review even just a small comment I'd love it!**

 **Thanks to everyone to reads and supports my story! Thanks to the people who have followed and favourited: shiki ryuusaki, omalsa04, jllum, Dark Goddess of Chaos, KrystalDiaz19 and Cece 12! There's a lot of you :) And to my lovely reviewers:**

 **FnafAnimeGirl109: Omg that is honestly goals, to have you reading my story in the car! I love you awesome reviewer! and yes I couldn't help have that fluff, there's more fluff in this chapter. Hope you enjoy x**

 **jllum: Hey! Sorry I couldn't upload this chapter any faster, but your comment motivated me a little and It kinda makes me happy my story stressed you out xD it gives me some twisted form of pleasure so thank you for taking the time to read my story!**

 **Ryane: Haha! Honestly you don't understand how much I want to stuff them together and be done with it, but no. It will be tantalising and I've already planned the exact moment it'll happen. It won't be for a while, so please don't give up on me :3**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the walking dead or any affiliated characters and storylines, only my OC and plotlines!**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags.**

Turns out the man that was shooting at us, was a man Rick had known back in Atlanta. He told us his name was Morgan and that he had actually helped him escape from the Walkers and get into the city. So why was he shooting at us?

After sitting down for a bit, Rick insisted on standing up and going inside the building to checkout where he had been holding up. We were standing at the entrance, one of my hands wavering behind his back in case he collapsed. He was still looking pale and in pain but he seemed to be okay.

Michonne studied the doorway and began to walk through before Rick pulled her arm back slightly.

"Keep an eye for booby traps. Looks like he's got pretty creative so far." Rick said studying the long sharpened wooden branches sticking out towards us.

"You know it's not a half bad idea." I said appraisingly looking at the defence.

"Rick if you knew this guy, and he helped you, Why was he trying to kill us?" I looked up at him then checked his shoulder to make sure it wasn't bleeding.

"I don't know. People change, so we gotta be careful." He stated looking into the building.

"I thought we were just gonna get in and get the hell out of here." Michonne narrowed her eyes at the back of Rick's head.

We only came into town to get the guns then quickly get it, this was slowing down our task. But if he woke up and decided to start shouting at us again? Well we wouldn't last.

"He might have guns." I suggested.

"I know but look I know you said he helped you-" Michonne started but Rick cut her off.

"He saved my life. He wasn't like this then." He turned around to her abruptly then winced.

"Rick, careful." I said looking at his shoulder.

"Okay," Michonne conceded.

"Look if you're not up for this, you stay out there with Carl and keep an eye on him." I gestured over to where he tied the man up and Carl was pointing a gun towards his unconscious body.

"Me and Michonne can handle it." I said. Rick looked back thoughtfully at Carl then at me.

"No I can do this." He stated.

"Rick," I warned.

"If I couldn't I'd tell ya. But I can handle it." He said firmly.

"Would you?" I raised my eyebrows at him as he nodded in response.

"Pinky promise." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What?" Rick asked surprised.

"Pinky promise it, that if it's too much you'll say and you'll listen to what I say." I held out my right hand with the pinky stretched towards him. Rick was smiling looking amused as he began moving his hand out towards me.

"Before you promise know that I take this promise seriously." I said.

"I fully know the risks of this Pinky promise." Rick said with a serious face making Michonne scoff behind him.

"Don't mock me grimes." Rick held out his pinky finger and locked it with mine as we shook.

"Good man."

"Jesus." Rick said after a minute looking back at Carl.

"What?"

"He has a son." Rick said and I immediately felt a pang if sympathy for the man.

I walked slowly and lightly around the wooden sticks as Michonne and Rick followed just as light footed. I bent down and looked at the welcome mat about to put my foot down before moving it back. Booby traps.

I lifted the mat and there was a hole carved in the concrete with multiple sharp objects pointing back up at us.

"Let's just get him inside." Michonne said. Rick walked in front of us keeping an eye out for booby traps with Carl keeping guard at the back.

Michonne and I had the lovely task of hauling the man's body all through the building. Considering my size and stature, let's just say it took a while. We manouvered him around the house with great difficulty until we came to stairs. He had signs up all over the building warning us not to go further but of course we ignored them.

We dragged him up the stairs until we came to a plastic curtain, about to step through it before Rick stopped us and pointed down. There was a trip wire Michonne's boots were about to go through. Finally we hauled his unconscious body Through the plastic curtain as I bumped into Rick's back.

In front of him was a bloody axe pointed straight in our direction. We walked around the chains and the axe hauling the body.

"Carl, watch the wire." Rick called out.

We walked through into a room with knocked over furniture and a few packs resting on the other side. An archway led onto another room and we stopped in our tracks.

There were dozens upon dozens of rifles, hand guns, machine guns, some grenades all over the room along with a small bed in the corner.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed.

"I saw this in the evidence locker last year." Rick said.

"All of it?" Michonne asked incredulously.

"Not even half, he's been busy." Rick pointed out.

"Put him over there on the cot." Rick said as we walked over with the man putting him onto the rusty looking bed. We arranged him on the bed before Michonne and Carl each got packs and started filling them with bullets, guns and weapons. I was looking at the man and then on the writings all over the wall.

I followed where Rick was bending over a box staring at the Walkie talkie in his hand. He pressed it to his head and closed his eyes rubbing his hands over his face in frustration.

"What's up Sheriff?" I asked standing over him. He looked towards me then back at the radio in his hand.

"Remember I used to talk into my Walkie all the time?" He asked and I nodded.

"It was this guy, Morgan I was talking to. We said we'd meet up again and I'd let him know what was safe. I stopped doin' that after a while but he kept his." Rick said looking up to the wall before standing up.

"It's not your fault Rick, you left him messages in the beginning and he didn't respond. You were never gonna know if he was alive." I reasoned.

"Yeah, I know. It's gonna bother me." He said scratching his head. Something caught his eye on the wall as he stood up slowly and walked over to it. In big red letters were the words:

DUANE TURNED

"Don't tell me Duane was his son?" I asked sadly already knowing the answer. Rick gulped and nodded slowly, my heart tugged at the thought this man had been on his own this whole time, with his son who was now dead. No wonder he was shooting at us.

"Stop." Rick turned around slowly to Michonne and Carl who were packing the guns into the bags. They stopped before looking at Rick as if he had grown two heads.

"We're gonna wait for him to wake up. Make sure he's ok." Rick stated firmly.

"He tried to kill us." Michonne defended.

"He told us to go. He didn't know who we were." Rick argued.

"Besides the point, this guy's been through a lot. But if he shot at us before, who's to stop him from doing it again? We should take some of the guns and leave him with the rest of his stuff and go quickly. This wasn't supposed to be complicated." I wiped my hand over my forehead looking between Rick and Michonne.

"He's not dead and he didn't get eaten by Walkers. He's had a good day and Pol's right he doesn't need half of these guns. We do." Michonne said assertively.

"We're waiting for him to wake up that's it." Rick said not leaving any room for argument.

"Have you taken a look around at this place? The axe? The spikes? The walls? He's dangerous." Michonne said annoyed.

"I know him." Rick said.

"Look this end of the world thing has changed people. He's not the same as he was before." I sided with Michonne but tried to be diplomatic, things were already tense and I could see Rick and Michonne were going to butt heads a lot.

"He's been through a lot that's all I know, but maybe we should take what we need and go, he doesn't need half of these guns." I said looking back at Rick, he thought for a moment before answering.

"We're waiting for him to wake up." Rick repeated before picking up a few plastic tags and walking over to the cot to restrain Morgan on the bed.

"Stubborn man." I muttered shooting a glare at Rick. Carl walked over to the other room as Rick followed him. I stood by Michonne over the cot looking at Morgan who was still knocked out.

"We should go." Michonne re-iterated in a lower voice.

"I know, we're not safe." I agreed.

"Rick has to see that." Michonne emphasised.

"He won't be able to, he's still blinded by grief for Lori. He couldn't save her so I guess he wants to save this guy he knew, or give him a fair chance. Look I'm not saying I agree with his decision but I understand the reasons behind it." I explained to her.

"Since when did you become a shrink?" Michonne raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'm just very perceptive. Part of my multiple talents." I grinned at her.

I wandered around the room looking for fresh linens to re-wrap Rick's wounds if he'd let me. I walked over to a box which was filled with photographs and picked a few up. There was one of the man, his wife and what looked like to be his son. I smiled looking at the happy faces in the picture. In the box next to it where long strips of white cloth which might be used as a bandage, I picked a few and folded them into my hand walking back over and sitting by Michonne on one of the chairs.

"Enjoying that?" I asked as she took a bite of her apple.

"We're eating his food now?" Rick asked incredulously walking past her.

"Mat said, Welcome." She shrugged and continued eating. Carl was in the other room looking up at the wall that has markings on it. After a few minutes he walked back towards us where Rick was looking through boxes.

"I'm going on a run." Carl said decidedly. I looked up at him with raised eyebrows.

"Where?" Rick turned around.

"I thought maybe the one thing people didn't loot was cribs. And there's that baby's place mom's friend Sarah ran. It's just around the corner." Carl made it sound so easy, but I knew there was no way Rick would let Carl go by himself.

"Carl," Rick sighed.

"Dad, it's just around the corner. And there's all those walker traps." He argued.

"How you gonna bring the crib back by yourself?" I asked him as he turned to face me. Michonne handed me half of the apple as I beamed at her enjoying the juiciness and sweetness of the fruit.

"Huh?" He said.

"You're gonna need help carrying the box." Michonne stated.

"What?" Carl looked at Michonne narrowing his eyes.

"Well kid, if you're gonna get the crib-" I started.

"-You're gonna need the box. It's big and heavy." Michonne finished.

"You're gonna need help, I'll come with you." I looked back at Rick who looked slightly surprised.

"Really?" Carl asked slightly shocked.

"You need to be here, change Rick's bandages just in case. You've got more medical expertise than me, what if something goes wrong?" Michonne asked.

"That's a good point." I agreed.

"I'll go with him." Michonne tilted her head back towards Rick. He was looking at her in mild shock before straight up to Carl.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Right there, that's the deal." Rick stood up looking at Carl who's blue eyes widened slightly.

"Okay." Carl said. Michonne picked up her katana and followed Carl outside the room before leaving the building.

"You sure this is a good idea?" Rick asked as I stood up next to him looking in the direction they left.

"Yeah, definitely. It'll give them a chance to bond." I smirked sheepishly.

"Alright you, sit down." I turned around to face him.

"Why?"

"You got shot, if you overexert yourself you'll start bleeding again and then I'm not going to let you hold a gun." I said firmly glaring at him. Rick put his hands up and sat down on one of the boxes.

"You're pushy." He noted.

"When I need to be." I shot back. I walked around the room looking at the writing on the walls, man this guy really had been through it all. There were various lines talking about what parts of the town were still safe, how many people had come through his defences, which people had died. I knew exactly what this was like, being alone for this long. It did things to your mind, made you unhinged, made you go crazy. I traced the red words written on one of the pillars.

EVERYONE TURNS

Damn ain't that the truth. I sighed walking over to the shelves. He had first aid kits, antiseptics, bandages, painkillers, stuff I could really use for Rick right now. I found antiseptic, some clothes and a first aid kit and brought it over and sat down on the chair in front of Rick.

"Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?" Rick quirked an eyebrow at me as I opened up the pack finding gauzes, bandages and a sewing needle and thread.

"Look, I don't know how long it's going to be until we get back and I don't want to take any chances." I said pushing the thread through the needle before tying it off.

"You ever done this before?" Rick said uneasily looking at the needle. I rubbed antiseptic on the needle until there was enough then looked back at him.

"Remember when we met? I had to do it on myself." I stated.

"Now, Mr. Grimes. Take off your shirt." I tried to say the line with as straight of a face as possible and even Rick looked embarrassed. He undid the buttons on the brown shirt slowly and took the sleeves off leaving me sitting two inches away in front of a shirtless Rick Grimes.

I kind of stopped breathing seeing his bare body in front of me and tried not to gulp. I knew he was a police officer and that required some form of physical fitness, so I knew Rick was fit but man. He had a very nicely sculpted body. There were also scars there too. I realised I had spent too much time looking at Rick's body and when I looked back up to his face he was studying me curiously. I tried not to blush but I could feel the heat coming to my cheeks.

"Right." I said more to myself than to Rick. I began undoing the leather jacket I had wrapped around his shoulder until there was nothing covering the wound, the leather had done a good job soaking up the blood and was completely ruined.

"You owe me a new jacket." I glared at him moving my chair closer.

"I know, I know." He rolled his eyes. I placed my hand on his shoulder making him jerk slightly.

"What?" My eyes flickered up to him.

"Your hands are cold." Rick pointed out.

"Oh, sorry." I smiled apologetically.

I ran my finger across the top part of his chest and could feel the muscle there.

"The good news is the leather did a good job soaking up the blood, but you still bled out." I said inspecting the bullet hole.

"I'm going to need to pull the bullet out." I looked up at Rick who's face contorted in unease.

"Just make it quick." He nodded closing his eyes. I placed my left hand on his shoulder before picking up the tongs.

"It's going to hurt." I warned him. I looked into the hole and placed the tongs in there until I had a grasp on the bullet and pulled it out and Rick groaned from the pain, his hand wrapped around my forearm and squeezed it.

"Sorry, sorry." I said placing the gauze on there. I put his hand onto the gauze holding it in place whilst I got the needle ready.

"Ready for this part?" He opened his eyes and was panting lightly looking at the needle before nodding. It wasn't a big hole and probably wouldn't need as many stitches. I pushed the needle through his skin glancing up at him but he only flinched slightly which told me he had done this before. I finished sewing up the bullet hole and placed fresh linens around his shoulder coming across under his armpit before tying it off.

"There." I said with a self-satisfied smile.

"Not bad." Rick said moving his arm forwards and backwards. Now that it was cloth and not leather he could actually move it if he needed to.

"Thank you." Rick looked at me with a small smile on his face that made my heart flutter.

"Yeah." I grinned goofily fully not in control of the effect his smile was having on me. And the fact he was shirtless. We were both looking in each other's general direction but no one was saying anything or doing anything.

"Oh, here." I handed the brown shirt back to him and averted my eyes as he put it back on his body. I didn't understand Rick. Sometimes I feel like, he does like me, with the way he acts and sometimes he flirts. And we kissed. Twice. But then he doesn't say anything or do anything. But when I look into his eyes, I feel like there's something there.

I busied myself with tidying up the first aid kit before I heard a crash to the floor. I turned around behind me to see the man Morgan on the floor and Rick over him.

"Do you know who I am? Do you see who I am?" Rick said desperately to the man on the ground.

"People wearing dead people's faces!" Morgan shouted holding a knife in his hand. I undid the holster and whipped out the gun pointing it in his direction, Morgan looked at me with anger and shock before his wide eyes turned to Rick.

"I don't know you." Morgan said.

"Yes you do. You know me, look at me." Rick stated. He looked back at me and gestured for me to lower the gun, I began putting it away before Morgan shoved Rick against the wall on his bad shoulder. I reacted in time and began to go push Morgan off before Rick flipped their positions so he held him against the wall.

"Look at me." Rick said but the man wasn't going to be convinced. He punched Rick who fell to the ground as I pointed the gun on Morgan who was over Rick with a knife in his hand.

"Stop!" I shouted making him look at me.

"Go ahead. Shoot me." Morgan dared, but in his eyes I could see he had lost all hope.

"Pol don't." Rick said from the floor struggling under his grip. I put the gun away and went behind Morgan trying to hold his arms and pull him off but he threw me back as my head hit the ground. I felt a wave of pain as my eyes closed then opened feeling hazy and disoriented. I sat up rubbing my head seeing Morgan still over Rick.

"You don't clear man. You turn. You just die!" Morgan shouted.

"You know me!" Rick shouted.

"I don't know anyone anymore!" He called out. I crawled to the side of Morgan and pushed him pulling the knife out of his hand. Rick pulled Morgan down by his hands and bashed his head against his own.

"You know me! You crazy son of a bitch." Rick shouted now looking equally as deranged, whilst Morgan crawled over to the wall.

"Please. Please kill me." Morgan cried pulling the gun down towards his mouth.

I stood on the side looking between Rick and Morgan as Rick backed off towards the other side of the room, Morgan still on the ground. I sat Morgan up and tied his arms to one of the poles behind his back in case he tried something again.

"Kill me. Please just kill me." Morgan pleaded.

"Not going to happen." I said looking at him before sitting on the cot my finger over the gun.

"You found me, last year in my front yard. You told me what's happening. You saved me. My name is Rick Grimes and you know me. I'm not wearing a dead man's face." Rick kneeled down in front of Morgan who wasn't looking at him.

"I gave you this, I said, I turn it on every day at dawn so you can find me." Rick held the walkie talkie up to his face as tears streamed down Morgan's face. He had a face of realisation and looked up into Rick's face. I walked over standing on the side observing them.

"Rick? I know you. Oh man, I know you. I know who you are. You said you'd turn yours on. At dawn." Morgan had a softer look on his face but he was still crying.

"Okay that's promising." I said to myself sitting on a box near them.

"I turned mine own, at first there was static but then nothing and more nothing. You said you would turn on your radio every day at dawn. And you were not there." Morgan's voice intensified until he shouted the last words leaving me speechless.

"I did." Rick whispered looking down before back at Morgan.

"I kept getting, pushed further out. I had to, I didn't have a choice. I had people I had to keep safe. I got pushed back further into the country. I swear I found my wife and son." Rick explained.

"You can have your radio back. Because looks like I found you." Morgan said kicking the walkie talkie back to him.

"Your wife, did she turn?" Morgan asked, I looked at Rick and that same look of grief and pain passed over his face.

"No, she just died." Rick said quietly.

"So you didn't have to see that then. Course not." Morgan chuckled sadly.

"Not like me, not like my wife. You remember what happened to her?" He looked up at Rick who nodded slowly. This conversation, it wasn't meant for me, these two men would have to sort it out for themselves.

"I'm gonna go scout the building and check around the house, set a perimeter. You guys will be alright?" I checked with Rick.

"I'll be fine. We'll be fine. Go." Rick outstretched an arm onto my shoulder before I nodded taking the rifle with me.

I left the rooms and reached a hallway, I passed the building slowly and carefully for more of Morgan's booby traps. It looked like he had cleared the entire building. I came to another room and found some old tin cans of soup and tomatoes, I placed them into my pack then moved on to the next rooms.

There was blood on the floor, the walls and ceiling with broken furniture and boarded up windows. I managed to find a couple of knives but no more guns, just in case Morgan wouldn't let us take any of his.

I came out of the room and found the stairwell leading to the roof. Keeping the rifle out I walked up the stairs and opened the door to the roof. It was empty but you could see a good part of the neighbourhood from up here.

There were burned down houses down one street but mostly the cars were abandoned and there were Walkers stuck in the pikes that Morgan made of his defences. Keeping the silencer on the rifle I shot the walkers that were stuck and came back down the stairs.

I followed the same route to go outside the building avoiding the trip wire and axe until I came to the welcome mat. I stepped over it and looked outside the building spotting two Walkers nearby. Slinging the rifle over my shoulder I took out my machete and made quick work of them in the head as they fell to the ground. I cleared the area outside the building and by the time I was done I was sweaty and out of breath. I walked back inside and carefully past the traps until I came back into the room.

"You're taking a lot of guns Rick, why do you need the guns?" I came inside to see Morgan untied and standing up talking to Rick. I reached for my gun before Rick put his hand out walking over to me.

"You okay? You look a mess?" Rick gestured to the dirt and blood on my face.

"Oh that's not mine." I wiped the walker blood and looked at it in disgust.

"Because if you've got something good, that just means there's someone who wants to take it. Right?" Morgan asked.

"We're going to win. We have a prison, we just need the guns to defend it." I spoke directly to Morgan who looked at me.

"You can be there, you can help." Rick said as we stood in front of him.

"You will be torn apart by teeth and bullets. You and your boy, your people. But not me!" Morgan pointed to himself.

"Living alone puts you at an even greater risk, no matter how extensive your defences." I pulled up the chair to sit in front of him.

"I did the whole surviving thing on my own, and I barely survived. In a group we protect each other, we care for each other. We can bring you in with open arms." I said trying to get him to understand.

"I can't, I can't watch that happen again." Morgan said.

"You take the guns." Morgan stood up walking over to the other side of the room.

"You know, you know there's a chance! We both started out in the same place, you're not seeing things right. They've been bad for you, they've been bad for me. You've got to be able to come back from this." Rick came up towards him speaking calmly.

"No!" Morgan said loudly.

"No," He repeated in a lower voice.

"I have to clear. That's why I didn't die today. I have to man. I have to. I have to clear." Morgan emphasised. Rick looked defeated and nodded his head before walking over to the other side of the room.

"Come on." He said looking sad. I followed him and picked up the other pack containing the guns as we carefully made our way out of the building. Morgan came out behind me soon after seeing the dead Walkers on the wooden spikes and the ground.

"Oh I uh, saw them when I was on the roof. Just thought it might be easier." I gestured rubbing my arm. I looked at Morgan who nodded.

"Thank you." He said quietly as he was putting Walkers on a gurney. I looked at Rick who was looking down at the other side of the street seeing Carl in his sheriff's hat with Michonne behind him as they were holding something.

"Well, well, look at you." I put my hands on my hips grinning at Carl who smiled, I looked at Michonne who was looking to be in a considerably better mood.

"Hey, I was just about to come look for you." Rick said.

"Sorry." Carl said.

"It's alright. You're here now." Rick's mood shifted to a happier one as he also looked at the flower crib they were holding between them. Rick was struggling with the pack but my hands were full, Michonne took the bag wordlessly from him and draped it over his shoulder.

"Thank you," He said to her as I walked beside him.

"See, bonding." I smiled as Carl and Michonne manoeuvred the crib around Morgan's defences.

"Maybe." Rick shrugged.

"He's okay." Michonne stated looking back at Morgan.

"No he's not." Rick said with his lips in a firm line walking ahead of us.

"Hey," Carl called out to Morgan.

"Carl," Rick said indicating for him to be quiet.

"I had to shoot you. You know I had to?" Carl checked as Morgan looked at him and nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry." Carl apologised.

"Son, don't ever be sorry." Morgan came away from the walkers to reply to Carl, he walked back over to the gurney with the Walkers and began hauling them away.

We loaded the cribs, our packs and the gun bags into the back of the silver car as Michonne got in the front.

"How was it?" I leaned over to the window side where Michonne was sitting in the car. I looked back over to where Carl and Rick were talking.

"I think he's warming up to me." Michonne said with a slight smile.

"Really?" I asked pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah." Michonne nodded.

"That's great, I'm happy for you." I smiled. I patted Carl's hat who ducked as he got in the car and came over where Rick was standing staring off into the distance.

"Rick, you seeing something?" I asked the man who snapped out of his thoughts and looked back at me.

"I know you've gotten better, but you can tell me if you're still seeing things." I said looking at him.

Rick said nothing but looked thoughtfully at the ground before nodding at me, he stretched his arms out and pulled me in for a surprise hug. I wrapped my arms around his back gently not to hurt his shoulder as I felt his chin on top of my head. He pulled out the keys and handed them to me as I couldn't stop smiling at him.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"For everything." Rick said.

"Wanna drive?" he asked, I raised my eyebrows at him quizzically.

"Yeah." I smiled

"Because I see things." He gave me a smirk before walking around to the passenger seat of the car. I got in and started the car, before long we were driving back through the desolate town and down the highway.

To go back home.

 **A/N: I'm so sorry for the long wait! I hope I didn't lose any of you readers in the process. I also hope none of you are getting bored, but I did say this was slow burn. Thoughts?**


	29. Chapter 29 - The Sit-Down

**A/N: Omg I had such a long author's note but my laptop spazzed out and it got deleted! I'm here as promised with my weekly update, I really miss writing every day or having 4 chapters a week but uni life = busy and I'm in the final year anyone else relate? I love writing this story and hopefully if things get calm in a few weeks I can at least write/update twice a week. I'll keep you posted.**

 **Okay so this chapter is about the sit-down between Rick and the Governor where they're planning what to do about the attack he launched and trying to reach an agreement. not so much action here but the dialogue is good and we've had very Rick/Pol centric chapters so it's nice to write her interactions with the other characters a bit more. I've changed it a little because where Rick wants to trade Michonne, Pol's kinda just told him what she thinks of that and that she won't accept that if it comes to that so we will be deviating a little from the storyline.**

 **Also guys no responses? I miss reading them! I don't want to be a review-whore xD but your reviews were my life, your silent reading and love is still appreciated!**

 **Thanks to everyone who reads and follows/favourites: ReadingRainhoe, golden-priestess, DiCuore Alissa this chapter is dedicated to you three wonderful people!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and plotline!**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

"Stay in the car really?" I groaned at Rick who was getting out of the front seat of the car.

"I'm staying here," Hershel said from the passenger seat picking up the machine gun.

"Hershel respectfully, you have one leg." I stated as she shrugged. Rick closed the driver's side door and came round to my side knocking on the window. I proceeded to glare at him and roll the window down as he leaned his head in.

"Aren't we past this yet, you know I can handle myself. And technically you should be staying in the car you got shot 4 days ago!" I said frustrated as Rick put his arms across the window.

"She's right bout that." I looked behind him at Daryl who was leaning against his bike playing with the crossbow.

"I'm asking you to stay here, because I want you to protect Hershel." Rick said lowly, his blue eyes squinting at me.

"I know you can handle yourself, but if things go sideways I can rely on you to have his back." Rick explained.

"But, what about you-"

"I'll be fine." Rick shrugged.

"Rick, you got shot." I said worriedly touching his upper shoulder.

"I don't know what I'd do if you-" I couldn't finish my sentence.

"I promise I'll be back." Rick stated gently. I held out my pinky finger towards him, he locked his finger with mine and shook it.

"You better." I said as he walked off. The pinky promise had become a thing between me and Rick, every time he would suggest something incredibly dangerous I would make him swear with that promise that he wouldn't do anything stupid by himself.

"I got his back." Daryl said.

"Thanks Dixon." I smiled at him as he nodded. I looked on at their retreating forms sighing deeply. Every time Rick went off now, I always had a fear he wouldn't be back, since the incident with Morgan and he had two children to take care of, I had to make sure he would be back for them. And for me.

"They'll be fine." Hershel reassured. I nodded silently and checked the bullets in my rifle instead keeping the window rolled down. Hershel shuffled over to the driver's seat and placed his crutches on the passenger seat with his window rolled down he held the machine gut out scanning for Walkers or any of the Governor's men.

"I don't like this." I huffed.

"What's to like." Hershel drawled.

"I know that Governor's not coming by himself, there's no way. There could be an ambush waiting for them right now." I shook my leg scanning the surrounding area. Rick and the Governor were meeting in this remote place which was full of oil cans in an empty barn which was supposedly private.

"Well Rick didn't come by himself, so I wouldn't expect him to either." Hershel said.

"Knowing him he's got some dirty tricks up his sleeve." I scoffed.

"That's why we're here." Hershel said.

"Keep a calm clear head Pol, I know it's hard but you need to stay calm. Rick can handle himself." Hershel explained.

"You weren't there that day Hershel, if that bullet hit a few cm across Rick wouldn't be here right now." I said with dread in my heart.

"And this was from a man who knew him, who saved him. Now it's the Governor we're talking about."

"But he didn't Pol, he's still breathing and he's still standing. Because of you, that was some quick thinking you did, that was good with the leather." Hershel said appraisingly.

"Thank you, it was the only thing I could think to use." I said gratefully.

"You ever considered being a doctor?"

"At some point during college I'm pretty sure I did but I didn't pass the tests and didn't qualify." I stated reloading the rifle.

"Well there's no college or qualifications required now." Hershel said turning back to face me.

"What are you saying exactly?"

"Well how would you like me to train you? To be my assistant at first but then having two medics is better than one." Hershel asked which surprised.

"Wow, Hershel I'd be honoured." I smiled happily.

"It would be nice to feel more useful." I grinned.

"Never underestimate your worth Pol. You're a good fighter." Hershel smiled back.

"I want to be more than just a good fighter though." I sighed.

"You are, everyone in the group loves you. You help others, you look after both Carl and Judith and defend the group like your own family. You have a big heart and it doesn't go unnoticed by the individuals in our group." Hershel looked at me with a glean in his eye.

"Careful old man." I narrowed my eyes at him knowing exactly what he was insinuating making him chuckle.

"It's time." Hershel said starting up the car. We drove forward a ways until we reached a small field clearing with old cars just a few minutes away from the barn and turned down onto the road that lead towards the highway. I rolled down my window seeing the brown haired archer walk up.

"Well?" I asked him feeling anxious.

"He's already in there." Daryl said to Hershel.

"And he's fine." He directed the statement to me as I let out a small sigh of relief. I couldn't let my personal feelings for Rick get in the way, I had to stay focused especially if things went sideways.

"Governor just sat down with Rick." Daryl stated.

"I don't see any cars." Hershel said scanning the roads. It added to my unease of the situation as I watched the empty deserted roads.

"Yeah, it don't feel right. Keep it runnin'." Daryl instructed Hershel.

Suddenly we could hear an engine noise from the distance as I immediately jumped out of the car standing with Daryl with the rifle pointed up towards the car.

"Heads up." Daryl said urgently hitting the car.

A pale coloured jeep came into view driving through the junkyard and parked up alongside our car. It was one of the Governor's men in the front seat. Daryl pulled out his crossbow and kept it aimed at the man in the front seat. Two men came out of the car as in the passenger seat I saw a head of blonde hair come into view. Andrea. I narrowed my eyes at her as she looked all business.

"What the hell, why's your boy already in there?" Daryl kept the bow trained on them.

"He's here?" Andrea asked looking shocked at the Mexican looking man.

"Yup." He smirked.

"Don't act like you didn't know." I glared at Andrea who looked affronted. There was no way of knowing if Andrea was really aware of what was happening, I wanted to believe she didn't know and had good intentions. But how on earth could you be in his inner circle and still be completely in the dark about what's happening? No one's that naïve.

"I didn't." She said looking genuinely shocked, she walked straight past us and into the barn where they were half opening it before walking inside.

"Too many people have died for no reason. Let's end this. Save the bullets for the real threat." I heard Andrea's voice ring out in the barn. Okay, so maybe she was being genuine. Rick and the Governor's voices were indistinct but so far there was no shouting, only calm talking.

I slowly lowered my rifle as Daryl kept his crossbow down and pulled my arm over to where our car was.

"I don't like this." Daryl said eyeing the two men next to the jeep.

"Yeah me neither. What do we do?" I asked putting my hands on my hips.

"Nothin' we can do. 'cept stay alert for more cars." Daryl shrugged.

"There's gotta be something." I pleaded.

"I just want to shoot the Governor and get it over with." I said venomously.

"Trust me, I would love to put an arrow through his other eye but that's just gonna cause more violence." Daryl explained as I nodded reluctantly, we were in some sort of stare down with the other two men who were leaning against the hood.

"Maybe I should go inside." Hershel walked over with the rifle.

"The Governor thought it best if he and Rick spoke privately." It was that doctor from before, whom we had lunch with, he was incredibly calm and scribbling something down in his notebook.

"Who the hell are you?" Daryl asked defensively.

"Milton Mamet." He replied calmly.

"I remember you." I walked forward slowly in his direction.

"You're the doctor, we had lunch together when I got to Woodbury with Michonne and Andrea." I said to him.

"Yes," He said politely.

"And you're Polaris, lovely name." Milton commented as I didn't know what to say.

"Great. He brought his butler." Daryl scoffed making me smile and the other man grin.

"I'm his advisor." Milton stated looking down at his notebook.

"Is that right. So was it you who advised him to shoot up our prison where we had women and children?" I walked closer with my hand over the rifle. Daryl pulled my arm as I turned around to face him he shot me a warning look.

"I never condoned that. I didn't even know about that." Milton defended.

"Bullshit." I spat walking back. I sat up on the hood of the car already having enough of them.

"What kind of advice?" Daryl shifted the subject.

"Oh you know, planning, biters. I don't feel like I need to explain myself to the henchmen." Milton said offensively.

"You better watch your mouth sunshine." Daryl said warningly.

"Look if we're gonna be out here pointing guns at each other all day, do us a favour and shut your mouth." The other man smirked.

"What'd you say?" Daryl walked up to the man until they were face to face.

"Daryl," I said warningly despite the fact I was in complete agreement with him we didn't need to start another fight in here.

"We don't need this. If it all goes south in there, we'll be at each other's throats soon enough." Hershel said beside me, the voice of reason dissipating the tension in the area.

Daryl backed off and went back in silence staring at each other. God knows what things were like back at the prison, Merle was most likely antagonising everyone back there. Michonne and Glenn had it handled, they could handle him. Glenn was a good leader, he could take care of things if it went badly.

"You told me he was willing to talk!" I heard Rick's raised voice from the barn and glanced back putting a tighter hold on my rifle. I looked back hearing footsteps as Andrea walked out in a huff making everyone turn to face her. She sat down on a blue bench and put her head down.

"Going that well huh?" I asked and she shook her head. One of the men closed the barn door behind us to give them privacy.

"They're too busy measuring dick sizes to come to real solutions." Andrea said. I studied her sitting there on the bench, I really believed she just wanted peace, there to be no fighting between both sides.

"It was your man who shot up our prison." I said walking over and sitting beside her.

"I know and I would've stopped him if I knew." Andrea said regretfully staring off in the distance.

"I know." I nodded making her look at me.

"You mean you don't hate me?" She asked.

"I don't. I get it. You wanted a solid place to live you just didn't know who you were living with. And you just want peace." I explained as she nodded.

"What do you think?" She asked.

"I think the Governor's done some shitty things. I would love nothing more than to put a bullet in his skull." I said bluntly.

"Peace seems like the ideal option." I shrugged.

"But?" Andrea prompted.

"The Governor seems like a man who just wants all the toys. He wants to control anything, you really think he's going to back off, settle for Woodbury?" I asked her as she remained silent. After another half an hour of silence amongst us I was getting bored and extremely impatient.

"Why don't we use this time together to explore the issue ourselves." Milton stepped forwards towards the other man and Daryl.

"I say you just sit tight and shut up." The man said to Milton.

"It's a good thing they're sitting down, trying to work it out especially after what happened. Nobody wants another battle." Milton said making Daryl scoff.

"I wouldn't call it a battle." he said.

"I would and I did, I recorded it." Milton held the book.

"What?" Daryl said.

"It's part of our history, what we've gone through." Milton stated.

"Makes sense." Hershel piped in.

Suddenly there was a scream coming from the distance as I stood up off the bench rifle in hand. I led the way with one of the Governor's men behind me and Daryl next to me holding the crossbow out. Andrea pulled our her knife as we went to go investigate the sound. There were two Walkers stumbling our way around the corner as Daryl and the other men both lowered their weapons. I slung the rifle back and pulled our my machete.

"After you," Daryl put his crossbow down.

"You first." The other man pointed his baseball bat towards the Walkers.

I rolled my eyes at the testosterone and looked at Andrea who nodded. We pushed past the man and she stabbed one walker against the oil drum with a cry. I sliced the head off the other walker with the machete breathing heavily as it's body fell to the ground with a thud. Two more walkers came out from behind the oil drums as this time the other man came forward and smashed the head with the bat looking back at Daryl with a smirk.

The moaning of another walker came in site as Daryl shot an arrow right in the eye. A third walker came as the man stepped forward swinging the bat.

"Urgh come on." I said to Andrea as we let the men show each other up.

"Aren't you glad you're not a man?" I let out a small smile towards Andrea who grinned at me. We staggered back to the cars where Hershel and Milton looked alarmed.

"We're fine." I calmed Hershel down.

"Where's Martinez?" Milton asked. So that's the other guy.

"Oh him and Daryl are busy measuring dicks." I laughed as Andrea chuckled making Hershel and Milton look uncomfortable. They were sitting side by side talking pleasantly.

Another hour passed and I was sitting on the car bored tossing the knife up in the air and catching it. Andrea was watching me shaking her head and Hershel already scolded me but I didn't listen. I tossed it a bit higher getting good at it before I felt a sharpness and saw red on my palms.

"Shit. Fuck." I cursed as the knife fell on the floor.

"You know I wanted to say something 10 minutes ago but I just knew you wouldn't listen." Andrea said smugly handing me a rag.

"Shut up." I shot at her.

"And thanks." I said gratefully wrapping the cloth around my hand. Andrea came and tied off the makeshift bandage.

"How have you survived this long?" Andrea genuinely asked.

"I think someone up there likes me." I pointed to the sky as Andrea chuckled.

"If there is someone up there I don't think they like anyone, given the state of the world." Andrea said looking up at the sky.

I was sat on the hood of the car scribbling events over the past few days into my own journal and important observations for later on. I liked to look back and reflect - particularly on impressions of people. Hindsight is a beautiful thing. I looked up and watched as Hershel came over to Andrea who looked like she was wallowing in something.

"They kicked me out. I don't know what I'm doing in here." Andrea said from the bench.

"You're trying to help." Hershel reassured her.

"What happened with Maggie?" She asked in a childlike voice.

"He's a sick man." I said from the car not giving specific details. Andrea had tears in her eyes and looked over to Milton before back at Hershel.

"What am I going to do now? I can't go back there." She whispered sobbing gently. I jumped off the car and sat beside her rubbing her arm in sympathy.

"We're family. You belong with us." Hershel stated.

"But if you join us, it's settled." Hershel said.

"I know." Andrea cried. After a few minutes she was okay but this time it was me pacing outside the barn door waiting for Rick.

"How are they not done yet?" I groaned looking at the door for any signs of it opening up.

"Michonne-" I turned my head towards the door hearing my friend's name being spoken, but was it by Rick? Or by the Governor? Of course. I groaned out loud. Michonne cut out the Governor's eye, of course he's got a personal vendetta against her.

"What?" Daryl asked edging towards me.

"I heard Michonne's name in there." I said anxiously as I began biting by finger looking up at Daryl.

"She cut out the Governor's eye, what if he's offering a deal to spare the whole prison for her? What if Rick takes it?" I whispered frustrated.

"Hey," Daryl put his arm on my shoulder.

"She's one of us now." He reassured.

"Rick's not gonna take no deal without talkin' to us first. Don't you worry." Daryl nodded walking off.

I know he was trying to make me feel better but the Governor was backing Rick into a corner. And even if he was starting to accept Michonne, he didn't trust or know her like I did. If he did take the deal, trading Michonne then I don't think I could ever forgive him for that.

Suddenly the door to the barn slid open with a clang and out walked the Governor strolling back to their car. His men and Andrea followed him as I gave her a little wave she nodded. Rick walked out, his face looking troubled and stepped into the driver's seat of the car. I gave Daryl an uneasy look who got on his motorbike as I got into the backseat of the car with Hershel beside Rick. Daryl lead the way back opposite the road to the Governor until we were driving down the highway.

"Ya alright?" I put my hand on Rick's shoulder leaning forward whilst he was driving.

"Yeah." He said glancing at me in the rear-view mirror but remained silent. Whatever the Governor said troubled him, it can't be good.

A short while later we reached the prison gates which had been opened by Carl and Carol standing towards the inner gate. Rick drove the car up the walker infested fields into the park. We got back out of the car and walked inside the prison as Maggie and Glenn greeted us.

"Let's get inside." Rick said before walking off into the cell-block.

"Well?" Maggie asked looking slightly dishevelled.

"I know as much as you do." I sighed walking after our leader.

All of us were gathered in C block standing around Rick who took his rifle out from the cell holding it in one hand.

"So I met this Governor, sat with him for quite a while." Rick began looking around at all of us. I was anxious, I could feel the fear gnawing away at my chest. I definitely heard Michonne in their conversation, now whether Rick would choose to say anything, that was a different matter.

"Just the two of ya? We should have gone when we had the chance." Merle checked with Rick walking away from the group.

"He wants the prison. He wants us gone. Dead, he wants us dead for what we did at Woodbury." Rick stated firmly as we looked at him expectantly.

"We're going to war." Rick said before walking out of the cell block. We all looked at each other with confirming nods. Some looked uneasy, some looked completely on-board with the idea. I was 100% behind Rick but he didn't say anything about Michonne. I went back inside my cell and sat on the bed for a while wondering if I should confront him at all. A few minutes later I decided to go find him.

"Hey, Carl you alright?" I said to the boy pacing the cell.

"Yeah," He nodded looking down.

"You sure?" I asked forcing him to face me as he nodded.

"You know my cell's always open for you. Use my CD player, sleep there, take whatever you like." I smiled at him.

"Thanks Pol." He said holding his hand around the necklace I had given him, I smiled fondly at his memories of me.

"Do you know where your dad went?" I asked him and he shook his head.

"Alright no worries." I began walking off before his voice stopped me.

"You know you remind me of my mom." I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around slowly to see Carl's blue eyes looking at me from under his hair.

"I'm sorry?" It came out like a question because honestly I didn't know how to respond.

"Like you look after me, and you look after Judith. And you've looked after my dad so many times. We're glad to have you." Carl gave me a small smile and I felt my heart twinge at his words. He just compared me to his mother, the person he probably loved most in the world. Without saying anything I went forward and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"Thanks kid." I whispered feeling tears prickling my eyes. I pulled apart and took a few steps back.

"Are-are you okay?" He asked seeing the tears.

"Oh, this?" I chuckled wiping the tears with my sleeves.

"You guys are the first real family I've had Carl. So what you said, it means a lot. I'll see you later." I smiled before walking off.

I walked through the cafeteria and went outside to the courtyard looking for Rick. I heard some noise against the metal links in the fence above me and looked up making out Rick and Hershel standing there.

I went back inside the prison building and made my way up the defence post. The door was open and Hershel and Rick looked like they were having a private conversation. I was about to go back and wait before Rick spoke.

"He gave me a choice. A way out." Rick spoke softly. I edged on the other side of the door frame keeping my back against the wall and leaned my head forward seeing them look out into the courtyard.

"What does he want?" Hershel asked calmly.

"Michonne." Rick said. My breath hitched in my throat at my suspicions just being confirmed. So I was right, the Governor wanted Michonne in exchange for sparing us.

"He'll kill her." Hershel said as matter of fact. Okay time to make myself known.

"He'll just kill us anyways." I spoke stepping forward causing both men to face me.

"Sorry I was just coming up to find you guys," I apologised seeing their surprised looks.

"It's okay." Hershel said.

"What if he doesn't? What if-"

"Rick, you know this isn't the answer. This shouldn't even be a conversation." I cut him off.

"Why didn't you tell the others?" Hershel asked.

"They need to be scared." Rick said.

"They are." Hershel nodded.

"I'll take my leave. Let you two talk." Hershel went on his crutches and went back inside.

"Rick, listen I know it's tempting to trade Michonne for safety of the prison but it's not guaranteed, not at all. You met him, you sat down with him, you know he'll just try to take it anyways." I explained.

"I know she saved you." Rick said calmly facing me.

"Not just me. She saved Hershel, Carl, if she didn't come to the prison we wouldn't even know Glenn and Maggie had been taken. She's earned her place, and you said you would give her a chance." I started feeling panicked, I couldn't believe Rick would ever try to trade Michonne especially not after how hard I fought for her to say.

"I know I did." Rick nodded.

"We make a stand against the Governor we fight for our home. That's what we should do." I said.

"Rick I care about you and the group so much that you're my family. The only real family I have ever had and I don't want to lose that." I said getting choked up.

"And you won't." Rick bent down speaking gently.

"But hear me now Rick, if you go through with this trade you don't only lose Michonne." I began as Rick eyed me with curiosity.

"You'll lose me too."

As I said those words to Rick who looked at me in shock, I was getting the feeling we were being watched.

 **A/N: Damn Pol! My girl has fire, not gonna take shit from anyone. Not even the beautiful man-candy Rick! She's gonna be kinda conflicted with Rick and Michonne - especially whilst Rick struggles if he should trade Michonne now that Pol's given him that ultimatum. Juicy complications and tensions to come, besides you guys have had too much fluff anyways ;) Any thoughts?**


	30. Chapter 30 - The Calm Before the Storm

**A/N: Hello everyone. Yes I know its been 3.5 weeks since my last chapter update. At some point during that time I wasn't getting any responses to this story or any indication that anyone was reading it, so I kinda lost a lot of motivation for it and thought okay if no one appears to be reading I wasn't really determined to put out a chapter. not only that uni was stressful.**

 **I hope to get back in the regular speed of updating but it would be nice to know if this story was still being read, so I know I'm not wasting my time writing this. So this chapter is kind of an interlude before the Governor tries to attack them just to get me back into the habit of writing again. I love writing this story and the support from you guys in the beginning was crazy! I would love to see more of it.**

 **Thanks to MonMonMuffin 27 who favourited and followed this story ages ago! You rock and to my lovely guest reviewer who gave me the bit of motivation I needed to write and upload!**

 **Guest: This is totally dedicated to you this chapter!**

 **So as I said before it's changed slightly from the show as Rick isn't trading Michonne but remember Merle still has his own agenda. The bastard. I hope you guys like the Pol/Rick fluffiness, the Pol/Daryl interactions, action, drama, emotion this chapter has it all! This chapter is kinda rough, not super proud of it I just need to get back into writing again.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and plotline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags.**

I was standing on the guard tower with one earphone into my CD player listening to Fall Out Boy. No judgement, they were a really good band. Probably a bunch of walkers now though.

I slipped on the sunglasses I took from Rick's cell with the sun blaring into my face. I figured it was payback for the fact he even considered trading Michonne in for the promise of the Governor not attacking us at the prison. But I knew better.

It wasn't even midday and I could feel my hair sticking to the back of my neck with sweat. I paced the perimeter watching the field crawling with Walkers and keeping an eye out for any cars. I faced the courtyard where I saw Rick walk out of the cell block looking newly showered and wearing a white T-shirt.

"Hey!" Rick shouted up with his hand over his eyes.

"Hey," I waved down to him.

"How long you been up here?" He asked.

"I relieved Maggie at dawn." I said leaning over the edge.

"What?" Rick shouted not being able to hear me.

"I'm coming up!" He hollered before he disappeared into the tower below me. A minute later I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and Rick came out standing next to me over the edge.

"Hey," He started again smiling.

"Hi," I looked at him returning the smile before walking with the rifle in my hands.

"Nice sunglasses." Rick narrowed his eyes at me folding his arms.

"Sorry, I was borrowing them didn't want to get blind up here." I said as Rick looked out on the field then squinted.

"S'alright I'm just messin' with you." Rick said dismissively.

"In that case can I keep them?" I asked playing with the handles of the aviators around my ears.

"Ha. No." Rick deadpanned as my face fell.

"I was saying that I relieved Maggie at dawn. When you were down there." I said pointing down to the ground.

"That was about 4 hours ago, sure you don't want to go get some rest now?" Rick asked.

"Nah it's fine I'll do my shift and wait for Carol." I shrugged. I leaned in towards Rick and sniffed.

"Mhmm look at you all clean." I said approvingly pointing to his pushed back wet hair.

"The wonders of having a working shower." Rick said.

"What about your beard?" I asked looking at the previous scruff on his face which was now a full beard.

"Something wrong with my beard?" Risk faced me eyebrows raised.

"Let it grow anymore and we won't be able to see your face." I teased nudging him as he chuckled.

"Though it looks good on you. Suits you." I nodded approvingly.

"In an objective manner of speaking." I clarified seeing the smirk making it's way onto his face.

"You think I look good?" Rick asked. I turned my head to looking back down over the walker infested field so he couldn't see me blush.

"You're twisting my words now." I said gently from the side.

"I'm just teasin' ya." Rick nudged his arms against mine as we looked over the field. We stood in silence for a while in the heat as I kept guard.

"I thought about our conversation the other day. The one about Michonne." Rick said after a while.

"Rick I've already made it clear tha-"

"I know." Rick said as I turned to face him.

"You're right, Michonne doesn't deserve that, especially not after all she's done for this group and for you. She brought you back to us and it was in a moment of weakness that I even considered that deal." Rick explained as I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

"Good." I grinned at him happy I wouldn't be forced to choose between them.

"The Governor would attack us anyways even if I did go through with it, which I'm not. So we gotta prepare ourselves." Rick explained as I nodded feeling the gnawing feeling in my stomach that something bad was going to happen.

"Yeah, it's been too quiet the last few days since the sit-down." I nodded looking beyond the trees lining around the road for any cars.

"How's Carl?" I asked Rick who looked down then back up around the surrounding area.

"I don't actually know." He said looking ashamed.

"I've been so caught up in this thing that I haven't been there. I don't think I'm a good father." Rick shook his head.

"Nonsense, you haven't been as attentive of a father as you should be at this time. There's a difference, spend time with him, teach him stuff you need to bond with him, trust me Carl loves you." I said reassuringly to the sheriff's deputy standing in front of me.

"Why don't you go spend some time with him now?" I nudged him.

"The group are probably waking up soon and you guys can have breakfast together, leave this to me." I said.

"You sure?" Rick checked.

"Oh yeah, someone will come in a couple hours I'll be fine." I waved my hand dismissively.

"Thank you." Rick said placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Your welcome." I returned his smile as he turned and walked back down the guard tower steps. Trying to get my heartbeat back under control and now my stomach which was a bundle of nerves from the Governor and butterflies for Rick. These conflicting feelings were getting a lot to handle for me and it didn't look like I was getting over it any time soon.

I walked around facing the prison block to check all the exits were still covered and no walkers could get through before turning my attention back to the forest. There were a few walkers stumbling around just outside the fence before I thought I heard a muffled scream and the branches of the trees shaking. My head whipped around to where the sound came from but there appeared to be no one there. I pulled up the rifle to eye level and scanned the forest holding it there for a few minutes. But no sound to be heard, I shook my head thinking I was starting to imagine things and put the rifle back down by my side scanning the other areas around the prison.

A couple hours later I pulled out the chair and had my legs dangling over the railing of the guard-tower getting bored with nothing to do.

"Hey I'm here to relieve you." I turned around seeing Glenn come up looking well rested.

"Thank God." I jumped off the chair slung the rifle over his shoulder and tapped him on the shoulder before walking past down the stairs and walked along the fence barriers before unlocking the door and reaching the inner gate where Hershel, Rick and Daryl were standing.

"Here," Daryl handed me a plate of powdered eggs which were a little cold but still looked good.

"Yes thank you." I beamed at him as he nodded.

"I was just telling the others my decision to not trade Michonne." Rick said acknowledging my presence.

"It just ain't us man." Daryl said holding his crossbow.

"No it isn't." Hershel nodded agreeing.

"Does anyone else know about this?" Hershel asked.

"Just you three, and I'd like to keep it quiet." Rick said looking at all three of us.

"Especially in case anyone gets wind of this deal and wants to go through with it." Rick eyed Daryl carefully.

"Merle won't do nothin'." Daryl said defensively.

"So what's the plan?" I asked Rick changing the subject.

"We need to strengthen up the fences especially by the gate and reinforce the fences with wooden sticks, for that we need to use some of the thin trees and cut them down. We also need to find more food, supplies and weapons." Rick said detailing out his thoughts.

"Okay that's a lot to think about. Uhm, I don't mind going on runs to find more food, supplies and weapons." I said wanting to actually get out of the prison for a while.

"I'll go with you." Rick said.

"No, ya need to stay here for the prison, in case governor comes knockin' I'll go with her." Daryl looked at me.

"Well alright then." Rick agreed as I ate the powdered eggs in front of me.

"Now the Governor wanted Michonne by noon, so we gotta prepare the prison for his attacks." Rick said.

"Move some of the old cars out front before the gate, it'll slow them down." I suggested as Rick nodded to the idea.

"We'll try and see if we can find any more weapons, guns or bullets. You know the best place would be back at Woodbury." I said nonchalantly making all three men look at me harshly.

"No, there's no way you're going there. Not risking it." Rick shook his head as he crossed his arms.

"Yeah I know it was worth a try." I shrugged.

"We'll leave in 20." Daryl said to me as I nodded. I went back inside cell block C where the others were milling about in the prison. Rick came shortly after giving instructions to the rest of the group.

"Hey Carl, Carol, Beth." I looked at all 3 who were busy clearing up. I helped clear away some of the clutter and checked if the clothes were dry.

"Hey, sleep well?" Carol asked.

"I slept okay, I had shift up in the tower from dawn." I said to her as we walked up the stairs to where Judith's makeshift crib was.

"Oh you must be tired, get some sleep I got her." Carol looked at Judith. I picked Judith up who was sucking her thumb and hugged her to my shoulder gently rocking her.

"Hey Judy." I turned her head as her big eyes looked up at me, she was getting bigger and her hair was very blonde, nothing like Rick's or Lori. Her hands were grasping at my shoulders as I walked around the perch with her.

"I gotta go." I kissed her head then placed her back down on the crib.

"Can't sleep yet, me and Daryl are going for a run." I told Carol tucking the blankets around Judith.

"A run? Is that a good idea especially after Maggie and Glenn?" Carol raised her eyebrows in concern.

"Well we need to prepare for the Governor, we don't know how long it'll last for and we need supplies." I chose my words carefully. I scrunched my nose up at a smell then looked down at the culprit who was babbling.

"Where are her pampers?" I asked Carol.

"Rick's cell. I can change her." Carol held out her arms to pick up Judith before I stopped her.

"Don't worry I got it." I smiled at her as Carol smiled back busying herself.

I took Judith out of the crib and walked slowly down the stairs seeing no sign of Carl, Maggie, Glenn or Michonne. I walked into Rick's cell which was a mess, his clothes were all over the place as were Carl's. I looked in one corner and saw a pack of pampers along with baby formula. I put blankets on the ground and set Judith down on it before changing her nappy.

"Oh you're stinky baby aren't you." I cooed and pinched her cheeks as she let out a small smile making my heart flutter. Once I had her changed and disposed of her I took her back up the stairs to Carol before disappearing inside my own cell.

I changed into new clothes and brushed my hair desperately wishing that we had toothpaste because who knows how badly my breath smelled. I took my pack and put a bottle of water in there along with extra bullets and strapped the belt with my colt and the machete ready to go. I came out of the cellblock to here lots of noise and shouting and jogged over to where Rick was standing against the fence watching the field.

"Hey," I said to him as he turned to me.

"Hey." He continued looking out on the field.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Tryin' to figure that out myself." Rick answered.

Maggie and Carl were shouting in the middle fence drawing the walkers towards them, leaving the field empty. Glenn and Daryl were inside the silver jeep taking out a large pieces of barbed wire and fixing them out into the field. Michonne was slicing down walkers before the three of them got into the jeep I ran over to the gate pulling it open to let the car come through and closing it.

Me and Rick went over to where the parked car were and the three members of the group that came out of it.

"They try to drive up to the gate again and maybe some blown tyres will stop them." Glenn said.

"It's a good idea." Rick said approvingly.

"It was Michonne's." Daryl said pointedly to Rick, giving further affirmation that Michonne staying was a good idea as I smiled at my friend who was also in new clothes standing opposite me.

"We don't have to win, we just have to make their getting at us more trouble than it's worth." Michonne drawled with a smirk as she nodded at Rick. Maggie and Carl came over as well.

"You ready?" I asked Daryl who nodded.

"Where are y'all goin'?" Maggie asked holding the bucket in one hand.

"Me and Daryl are going on a run, we'll be back soon." I reassured her after seeing the worried look in her eyes.

"Can I go?" Carl looked at me hopefully as I shot an unsure look at Rick.

"But I need to make sure they're safe." Carl said pointedly looking at me and Daryl.

"No Carl, I need your help here." Rick said firmly but gently as Carl looked disheartened but understood anyways. I pulled Carl to one side and looked at him.

"Hey Carl, I'll be back okay. We'll be back, Daryl will protect me and I'll protect him, we'll be fine." I reassured him as he looked up from the ground.

"I lost mom because I couldn't protect her, I don't wanna lose you guys too." Carl said desperately as I felt my heart break at his words. He was a 13 year old kid, 13 year olds shouldn't have to worry about that. But that was the way of the world we lived in now.

"When you get worried, remember that I'm always with you." I pointed to the ursa minor necklace around his neck at the top star which was Polaris.

"Promise you'll come back." Carl asked.

"Promise." I pulled him in for a short hug then let go of him walking away.

"Please be safe y'all." Maggie said as I nodded.

"Sure you don't want me?" Michonne asked holding one hand over the katana on her back. Me and Daryl exchanged uneasy looks before I looked back at Michonne.

"Nah it's fine, you'll be better here." I said as she nodded.

"If there's any trouble, come back straight away." Rick said to Daryl who nodded.

"Don't be reckless." He said pointedly to me.

"When am I ever?" I scoffed shooting him a grin.

Rick shook his head and held out his pinky finger, "Promise." He said.

I locked it with mine and shook it downwards before letting go of his hand. Glenn handed me the keys to my BMW as we walked away from the majority of the group who were heading back inside the cell block.

"I know a town, past the pharmacy. Was a ghost town but it still might have weapons, food." Daryl said adjusting the crossbow over his shoulder as we walked over to the cars.

"Anything we can use will help." I said. I opened the driver's seat and got in the car as Daryl got on his motorbike and revved the engine. I rolled down the window and called out to him.

"I'll follow you." I called to Daryl who nodded. I switched the car on and shifted it into drive before following Daryl up to the gate, Rick opened it and I waved to him as we drove down through the field of Walkers. The second gate to the outside was opened by Glenn who quickly opened it as we drove through leaving the prison behind us.

I kept the windows rolled down letting the cool breezed flow into the car as we drove down the highway, I sped up the car so I was alongside Daryl and enjoyed the feeling. I realised I was still wearing Rick's sunglasses but he didn't ask for them back so I wasn't letting them go yet. We drove past forest areas, making sure we didn't take any turns too close to Woodbury, we came off the highway and onto the smaller roads going through the towns. I rolled the windows back up and 20 minutes later we reached our destination. Daryl parked his motorbike just behind my car so it was hidden.

"You weren't kidding when you said it was a ghost town." I muttered lowly feeling an eerie atmosphere settle over the town. Most of the buildings such as the bank, bars, clothes shops, restaurants were boarded up, and it looked like it had been that way since before the world ended. A lone walker spotted us and began stumbling towards us. I sighed and began pulling out my knife before Daryl placed his hand over it.

"I got it." He said taking out his crossbow and shooting the walker straight in the eye. It stopped growling and fell to the ground with a thud.

"Show off." I scoffed. Daryl went to retrieve his arrow and I placed the empty pack over my shoulder following him.

"You know, we would cover a lot more ground if we split up." I said nonchalantly watching Daryl's reaction.

"I was kidding Dixon."

"We could check the liquor store for guns." Daryl said staring at the boarded up bar.

He put his crossbow around his neck as I stood guard holding my gun out in one hand, with the other hovering over my knife handle. Daryl ripped off the boards over the door and pushed it open which rang a bell. We stepped inside the dark building and heard deep growling coming from one corner of the darkened room. Daryl nodded as I let him go first, being the more experienced hunter. I took out the torchlight and had it ready switching it on seeing three Walkers curled in one corner. They noticed us and began stumbling forward. Daryl shot his cross bow into two of them, I pulled out my knife and twisted it into the head of the third one. Once the bar was cleared we looked around.

"We could use this?" Daryl held up a round shaped object.

"Is-is that a grenade?" I stuttered reaching out to touch it.

"I dunno." He shrugged. He walked behind me and began unzipping the backpack.

"You're putting the potential grenade in my bag?" I gasped.

"Just don't move too much." Daryl walked ahead as I wordlessly followed him. We searched around the bar for any more signs of weapons. I looked under the counter and found a hand gun which had 3 bullets. Daryl went down to the basement and came back up with another handgun and a rifle. Considering we had the governor to deal with, it was surprising that I had other things on my mind. Rick for instance.

"Well that's something." I said nodding.

"We should hit the pharmacy an' see if we can find more food." Daryl stated as I followed him out of the bar. The Rick thing was really bothering me, sometimes I didn't know if the man was flirting or just being friendly.

"Hey Daryl?" I looked at him unsure whether it was wise to ask him or not. I mean Daryl Dixon wasn't really renowned for giving relationship advice. This was definitely going to make the hunter feel uncomfortable.

"Mmm?" He looked down at me walking beside me.

"You're a guy right?" I asked as he narrowed his eyes at me.

"Right stupid question." I muttered.

"Go on." He urged me looking around at the empty shops.

"How do you know, uhm when a guy is well um.." I trailed off hoping he would understand.

"What?" He asked looking lost.

"When a guy is uh flirting?" I gave him a side-look not wanting to see his full reaction.

"Flirtin'?" Daryl whirled round to look at me.

"I dunno. Never had a guy 'flirt' with me." Daryl deadpanned. I hit him on his shoulder making him smirk slightly.

"Is this bout Rick?" Daryl asked looking straight ahead at the road.

"Might be." I shifted on my feet.

"I couldn't tell ya honestly. Pol 'fore this I never had any long relationships or whatever, I just used to hang 'round with Merle and we used to do shit all. I'd be no help. Sorry." Daryl apologised looking at me.

"Oh. It's alright." I nodded dropping the subject.

"Pol." Daryl said catching my attention.

"Yeah?"

"I dunno 'bout relationships. But I know Rick. When he's ready, he'll let ya know. He's an upfront man most of the time but he's not lookin' for a fling. He's lookin' for someone to be there long term. Ya know?" Daryl explained.

"Yeah I do know." I said thoughtfully.

"I can tell he likes ya. Has done from the beginning I reckon. But its still only been a short time since his wife died, ya show him yer in it for the long haul." Daryl suggested.

"I am." I defended.

"And I will." I said determinedly, so patience was key here. Right.

"Can we stop talkin' bout this now?" Daryl complained.

"Yeah, yeah Dixon. We can stop. You can go back to your brooding." I laughed.

At the prison

"Where are we going?" Michonne side-eyed Merle who had been acting strange leading her into the tunnels under the prison. They turned a corridor and went down some steps leading to more cells with walkers in them.

"A breach like this could be an open invitation to the Governor," Merle stated.

"He's not much for subtlety." Michonne gave him a look hearing growls coming from one end of the corridor.

"You really wanna take any chances?" He asked. Merle stood slightly behind her. Two Walkers half stumbled towards them, organs and limbs missing, Michonne not taking any chances strolled forward with her katana.

But just before she could slice the walkers, Merle hit her at the back of the head and she fell to the ground unconsciousness. He finished off the walkers, slicing them all in the head and began dragging the unconscious warrior along the ground.

There was no way he was gonna save one life, and risk sacrificing his own along with this whole prison. It was time to get his own back on this bitch.

And deliver her straight to the governor.

I wiped the machete against the ground scrunching up my nose at the pieces of flesh and organs still hanging off it. I stood up in the supermarket aisle which was relatively empty making me frown in disappointment.

There were rotting pieces of fruit and meat but we needed cans and boxes. I found a couple of cans of potatoes and stuffed them in my pack. Most of the boxes of food were empty and there was nothing much down this aisle except for the smell of rotting corpses.

"Anythin?" Daryl poked his head around the aisle.

"A couple of cans, not much else really." I shrugged feeling disheartened we couldn't find more here. We had already checked in all the other shops and this was the last place to look.

We found a pharmacy along with a couple of boxes of painkillers and some antibiotics which was a godsend. We were preparing for the worst. There was one pack of sanitary pads I quickly shoved into my pack knowing it would make a certain someone with me feel awkward.

"You?"

"A few boxes of cereal, about 6 cans of tomatoes and one can of spaghetti-Os." Daryl listed off his items smirking slightly.

"Spaghetti-Os? What's that?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows.

"You're shittin' me woman, you don't know?" Daryl came over to me. He pulled out the can from his pack and showed me.

"So it's spaghetti," I said looking at the can where the label was worn down but the can was still intact.

"It's like you love baked beans, same thing for us Americans." Daryl explained.

"Ah gotcha." I nodded. He put the can in my pack and closed it up.

"Wait." I stopped Daryl from walking away.

"Big place like this, it probably has storage underground. Storage which would be full of food." I smiled slightly.

"And it might be overrun with walkers," Daryl pointed out.

"Yes but we could take them. Think about it Dixon, if the Governor wages a war on us we're gonna need food to last for a while this could be it." I said getting excited.

"We can check it out." Daryl said decidedly.

I led the way to the back of the supermarket where the door had been blocked with chairs, tables and shelves. I put my weapons away as me and Daryl began carrying the heavy objects away from the door. We were down to the last chair, Daryl held his crossbow in position as I moved the chair and the door swung open. I pulled out my gun seeing there were stairs which had liquid poured down it and it was like walking into a completely dark hole.

"Men first." I smiled sheepishly at Daryl who rolled his eyes. He had his crossbow out at eye level as I handed him the torch covering his rear. It was like a horror movie, the atmosphere turned thick with tension around us and I felt an uncomfortable feeling creeping up on my back. We walked down the stairs and followed the corridor which was littered with dead bodies on the ground. I placed my hand over my nose, the stench was disgusting filling up the air.

"Man I could throw up." I choked on the air.

"Please don't." Daryl muttered from in front of me as I had one hand hovering over his back.

We came across to another door as I pressed down on the handle and it swung open.

"It's almost too easy." I whispered to Daryl who gave me an unsure look.

We explored the dark room walking slowly as there were tall shelves with some closed cardboard boxes, we would have to carry them out of the basement one by one. A few minutes later we each came out with 3 boxes each, the most we could carry and dumped them in a shopping cart, we didn't know what they were but we didn't have time to check, not out in the open like this.

"We can fit one more." I said decidedly looking at the cart.

"I'll go get it." Daryl said.

"No, it's fine I got this." I reassured him. I left him with the cart and walked back down the corridor with the flashlight. There was no indication or sound of any walkers down here but we were quiet, quiet enough for them to not notice us. I walked into the storage room shining the torch down the aisle just to make sure. I felt a tingling down my spine, I never liked the dark. It always made me feel like I wasn't alone. I reached for the box which was a couple of shelves above my head. My hand barely grazed it as I tried to push it towards the edge to catch it. It was almost in my hands when suddenly a Walker's hand reached out into the dark and grabbed my wrist making me shout.

I shone the flashlight in it's face seeing the snapping jaws reach for my wrist ready to bite, I tried to pull the knife out but it had knocked me to the floor, this walker was big. Much bigger than me and I didn't have the strength to push it off. It reached forward and I could feel the growling in my ears. I closed my eyes ready for the bite into my neck and stopped struggling before I heard a whooshing sound and the walker stopped moving.

I cracked an eye open seeing the tip of an arrow inches away from my cheek and feeling wetness there. I put my hand there seeing red. Someone helped push the walker off me and I saw Daryl leaning over to help me stand up.

"You okay?" Daryl asked pointing to my cheek.

"Yeah, your arrow just kinda grazed me. Thanks for that. It was too close." I said gratefully to the archer who nodded.

"We don't split up like that again. Even for a moment." Daryl said firmly.

"I hear you. Also if we could not mention this to Rick, that would be great." I patted his shoulder. He grabbed the last box as we walked back up the stairs out of the basement and dumped the box in the shopping cart.

Once we had loaded all of the supplies into the back of my BMW we set off heading back to the prison, this time taking the quicker route. The sun was low in the Georgian sky and my stomach was rumbling feeling the effects of little food and lack of water, I was definitely feeling dizzy. We passed some old houses and the woods as Daryl rode ahead on his motorbike before slowing down. He held out his hand and stopped the bike getting off it.

"Daryl?!" I called out to him opening the window but he was off in the woods with his crossbow. I stopped the car taking my gun and ran after him through the trees, just keeping up with him.

He came to a stop in the clearing as I caught up to him slightly winded and dizzy. I followed his line of sight to the figure plunging a katana into the head of a walker.

"Hey! Where's my brother?" Daryl asked Michonne who was looking pissed.

"Michonne, what are you doing here?" I gasped surprised to see her out here.

"Merle was gonna trade me in. Apparently it was a deal Rick made." Michonne turned to look at me, looking hurt and offended.

"Mich-"

"Well where is he?" Daryl asked interjecting.

"He let me go." Michonne sighed looking sympathetically at Daryl.

"Don't let anyone come after me." Daryl said annoyed before running.

"Daryl wait! Think about this!" I shouted and began running after him but he was already gone.

"You're okay?" I asked Michonne who walked off.

"Michonne!" I called out and started following her.

"Why doesn't anybody listen." I groaned.

"Hey, wait! Michonne." She slowed down so I could walk along side her.

"You said I could trust Rick." Michonne looked at me as we walked through the trees.

"You can. You still can, Rick had no part in this. I argued with him hard, begged him to let you stay. And he agreed." I defended.

"Michonne you know I have your back. I will always have your back, after all you've done for me?" I questioned her.

"Merle said Rick wanted this." Michonne said confused as we reached the road I parked the car on. I hid Daryl's bike in the trees so he could come back for it. We both got in the car and I started it up driving down the road.

"Trust me when I say Rick didn't want this. I gave him an ultimatum you know. I said if you go, I go." I faced her slightly keeping one hand on the driving wheel. We were approaching the prison now as it was getting early evening.

"Really? But I thought you really like him." Michonne asked.

"Oh I do, a lot. But Michonne you're my family too." I smiled at her as she smiled back. Carl and Carol opened the front gate seeing us approach as we drove up and parked the car.

"So Merle actually let you go?" I said shocked as we got out of the car.

"Yeah," Michonne nodded. I opened the trunk of the car eyeing the boxes of food.

"Woahh," Carl said walking up to us.

"Is that food?" He looked at us smiling.

"Hell yeah kid." I grinned at him.

"Looks like you guys had a good run." Michonne raised her eyebrows.

"Hey," Carol smiled looking at the boxes of food.

"Where's Daryl?" Carol looked between us as I gave Michonne a look. Michonne explained the story to her about how Merle had tricked her into going to the tombs under false pretenses to secure a breach but then trapped her and eventually let her go.

"Wow, you've had a day." Carol breathed out.

"Rick's gonna wanna hear this."

After unloading the boxes and placing them down in the food storage of the prison I walked into the courtyard with Maggie and Glenn seemingly occupied. Making out.

I stood there and wolf-whistled as they slowly moved apart from each other turning to face me. Maggie was grinning as Glenn also gave me a genuine smile they walked towards me hand in hand.

"Rick wants to say something lovebirds." I put my hands on my hips.

"How was your run?" Maggie asked still smiling.

"Successful." I grinned back. We had a good day, which was a rare occurrence.

"You two seem extremely happy." I raised an eyebrow at them.

"Which is strange considering our current predicament." I explained. They both looked to each other as I looked confused at their strange behaviour.

"We were gonna wait," Glenn started glancing towards Maggie.

"But," Maggie held up her left hand. On her third finger was a ring.

"No, you proposed?" I gasped at Glenn who nodded smiling. I cheered and wrapped my arms around both of them as they returned my hug laughing.

"Congratulations I'm so happy for you!" I let them go looking up at both of them.

"Life is short, but this life is even shorter and I didn't want to wait." Glenn said.

"Aw so romantic." I clutched my chest.

"I'm going to plan your wedding. I will find you a dress Maggie and we can have it here even in the courtyard, course we could also use candles to light up the cafeteria in the prison, I mean a feast obviously probably couldn't happen but we found loads of food so maybe-"

"Woah." Maggie put a hand on my mouth stopping me from talking.

"We were thinking of not having a wedding, it's not the right time with everything going on. The Governor could be planning to attack any day now." Maggie said looking downcast.

"We've lost so many people recently, it would be in poor taste." Glenn finished.

"A celebration is just what people need!" I defended.

"Okay, well you at least think about it? When this whole thing with the Governor blows over?" I asked hopefully.

"Okay," Maggie smiled.

We went over to where the others were gathered sitting on the benches. Hershel and Beth were taking care of Judith and Carl was standing against the table with Michonne beside him. Carol was sitting on the table along with Glenn and Maggie who were holding rifles. I walked up behind Rick and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Hey," I squeezed it smiling at him and walking past.

"Hey, heard you guys found tons of food." Rick asked hopefully.

"Yeah we did." I grinned at him.

"You're okay?" he checked.

"Yes sheriff." I mock saluted him and he smiled. I walked over to Hershel and Beth and smiled at him before taking Judith in my arms.

"When I met with the Governor, he offered me a deal. He said, he would leave us alone if I gave him Michonne." Rick started talking.

"Now I was considerin' that. Thinkin' it would keep us safe. But I changed my mind. Pol changed my mind." Rick looked directly at me as I nodded reassuring him.

"Merle tried to take Michonne to fulfil the deal. Daryl and Pol found her by herself out on their run cause Merle let her go." Rick explained as looks of shock were mirrored on the other's faces.

"Now Daryl's gone after his brother." Rick finished.

"I was wrong not to tell you about the deal. And I'm sorry." Rick apologised looking down in shame.

"What I said last year, that night after the farm. It can't be like that. It can't." Rick shook his head looking around at all of us.

"What we do, what we're willing to do, who we are- it's not my call. It can't be." He punctuated his point.

"We are the greater good. We're the reason we're still here. Not me. This is life or death. How you live, how you die, it isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor. We choose to go. We choose to stay. We stick together. We go. We vote." Rick said looking to each of us.

"We can stay and fight. Or we go." Rick took his rifle and walked away leaving the rest of us in the courtyard.

 **A/N: Well thoughts? I'll hopefully update next Monday/Tuesday for the season 3 finale! Stay tuned folks.**

 **Also hell yes, Glenn and Maggie are going to have a wedding... I have plans to make use of that time gap from season 3 to season 4..**


	31. Chapter 31 - Waged War

**A/N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know it's been two weeks. Hey everyone, I got my motivation back for this story and whilst being super busy studying for my degree I'm excited to carry on with this story! And I can't believe y'all came through for me! It super motivated me, I love it! So i know I said every Monday/Tuesday and its the following monday but if you live in London like me you know that it snowed a couple inches and that's a lot for here! So I was busy playing in it...**

 **So the climax of season 3 is here, it will generally be what happened in season 3 in the show. Also I will definitely be doing some chapters or maybe one long chapter between season 3 and season 4 and Maggie and Glenn's wedding is a thing that I will make happen! It'll be great, in that time we will also see Pol training with Hershel and maybe some more interference stopping Rickaris from happening (if you have a better ship name please let me know).**

 **Also who saw the mid-season premiere last week and this week's episode? Props to Chandler for doing his best in the shitty situation (looking at you Gimple).**

 **Thank you to all the support for this story, including the follows and favourites: time-twilight, Luckygirl1013, speedy-skye, Insanity's Haven!, BexOnTheRun, midnightstorm111, beloved of Naruto and Chewbecka! There's so many of you and every time I got an email I was like shit I need to upload. Also to my reviewers welcome back!**

 **Ryane: Fear not! We got a little off track and this story will continue! Aww I'm glad you love this story, I forgot what it felt like writing it. Enjoy!**

 **JasminJW: Thank you! Enjoy this one.**

 **One important thing to mention, I want to know your opinions for when you want Rick and Pol to get together, I had plans for it to happen in season 5 because I had a particular scene in mind, but I would like to hear opinions from anyone if they think it should happen sooner. I don't want to completely drag them out for too long but at the same time I literally had the specific scene in mind it would happen. let me know your thoughts.**

 **what would you prefer and why? season 5 or 4?**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the walking dead, any characters or storyline, only my OC and my storyline.**

"Hey Beth." I smiled at the girl holding Judith in her arms as she walked down the stairs.

"Hi Pol." She smiled back.

"How are you?"

"I'm doing good thanks." She smiled sweetly before walking out of C-block, just as I was about to follow her I looked over at the cell next to mine seeing Carl stare at what looked like a photo frame in his hands.

I leaned against the cell door watching him as he put it away inside his bag noticing his room was relatively empty. We were preparing to leave, I didn't want to leave but we had to be prepared. The risk of staying was too high especially with the heavy artillery the governor had, we didn't stand much of a chance.

A few days ago we voted to go but we were still preparing for his possible attack during our escape.

"Carl," I called out to him as he turned to face me.

"Hey," He said his blue eyes looking over to me.

"You all packed?" I walked into the cell seeing the table beside his bed completely clear of any objects.

"Pretty much. Are you?" He shrugged as I sat down on the single bed beside him.

"Yeah." I nodded looking back down at the ground in silence.

"I don't want to leave." Carl said adjusting Rick's hat on his head.

"Me too Carl, it's become, well like a home. Never thought I'd be saying that about a prison." I laughed looking at the grey walls around us.

"Yeah, but it's not just that. I mean I thought we should fight." Carl looked up at me his blue eyes burning.

"I want to fight too. But the smart decision would be to leave if we have to." I patted him on the back before walking around back to my cell. I had my normal backpack and a larger big duffle bag with the few pairs of clothes I owned inside them. It was getting colder definitely, I put a new jacket I had found one of the runs over the t shirt and cargo pants I was wearing, before looking around at the empty room. I put the bags around my shoulder and followed Carl outside C block into where all the cars were parked.

Rick was loading supplies into the car with Michonne holding another crate of food.

"Carl," Rick touched his shoulder but he shrugged him off harshly and walked away.

"He's still mad?" Michonne stood beside me holding the crate as we watched the scene.

"Yeah I nodded sadly." There was a difference of opinion amongst the group along with underlying tension which had been slowly developing. I walked over to my BMW where Rick had the front hood open and was tinkering with it.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked as he looked up at me and stood back up.

"Checkin' everything works. Hey could you start the car for me?" Rick asked as I put the duffle bag down and went to the driver's seat putting the keys in the ignition. The engine roared to life then became silent as I switched it back off and walked on over to Rick.

"How are you holding up?" I asked as he slammed the front back down.

"Carl." Rick said seriously.

"I've never seen him this bad. Even with Lori, he just shut down." Glenn came over shaking his head.

"He's still a kid. That's easy to forget." Rick walked off towards his car as I followed him.

"I know some of y'all don't wanna leave." Rick said to me.

"But it was the majority decision, the smart one." I reassured him.

"I don't know if we'll find another place like this." Rick looked at me before his eyes focused up on the bridge connecting the prison together and he trailed off. I followed his line of sight and turned around to see what he was looking at. But there was nothing there.

"As long as we stick together. We'll survive. That's what matters." I smiled.

"Yeah." Rick said unconvincingly.

"I'm gonna go take another round of the block. Check if we left anything." Rick said after a while.

"I'll come with you." I said as he nodded. We walked in silence side by side back through the prison into C block. We looked inside the cells as he took the upstairs section checking for any left behind weapons, bullets, clothes, food. I looked into my cell and saw a cartridge left there. Placing it inside the pack I made sure my weapons were loaded. Once I checked over all the cells I waited around at the bottom.

"I'm glad you're here." Rick said suddenly looking down at me as he walked down the stairs into view.

"I don't know if I could've done any of this without you." His blue eyes were focused on me.

"Oh sure you could've." I said dismissively.

"Don't underestimate yourself, you're a huge part of this group. Thank you. Especially when Lori died and I lost it. I was seeing things but you were still there, you were still by my side. You're family." Rick finished standing in front of me. I stood shocked but my heart was swooning at his statement genuinely making me feel happy.

"You know, the concept of family was very foreign to me. Before all this. Strange how it took the apocalypse for me to find mine. I never really had anywhere to call home, friends, I never really loved anyone." I looked up into his eyes just on the edge of making an admission to Rick. I liked him a lot. No. I loved him.

Oh. I was in love with Rick. Rick Grimes.

"But now.."

"What?" Rick asked looking intently at me. Come on you coward. Tell him.

"Now-"

"We're ready, there you guys are." Michonne came in as I closed my eyes briefly wanting to hit her for her impeccable timing.

"Yeah okay." I moved back from Rick slightly disappointed as he snapped out of our conversation. Michonne stood beside Rick as I walked a little behind them, half relieved I hadn't said it. Oh my god. Imagine if I told him now? How awkward would that have made things.

"The deal the Governor offered, you had to think about it." Michonne nodded looking at him in understanding.

"I get it." She said gently.

"Yeah, well I'm sorry. I came real close." He said admittedly.

"But you didn't." Michonne looked at him smiling slightly as we walked slowly out of the cell block.

"Someone changed my mind. I'm glad they did." Rick turned around to look at me making my heart flutter.

"Me too." Michonne turned around as I grinned at her.

"I never thanked you. For taking me in, getting me out there that day." Michonne said to Rick.

"Well if you didn't have that baby formula, I wouldn't have." Rick joked.

"You could have just taken the formula." Michonne deadpanned.

"Well, must have been something else then." Rick glanced at me again smiling slightly this time.

"You're one of us. You belong here." Rick said to Michonne who smiled and walked off.

"Nice speech Grimes." I nudged him.

"What were you going to say, before?" Rick asked.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Before Michonne interrupted. You were talking about family, you were talking about home and love." Rick said with the last word settling on me.

"Love." I repeated not knowing how to get out of the situation. Should I just tell him?

"I was just going to say-"

But before I could finish I was interrupted by a large explosion sound coming from outside. We gave one look to each other and ran outside weapons at the ready. The outside guard tower was destroyed and rapid gunfire.

"It can't be." I shouted at Rick as we ran through the block trying to reach the courtyard.

"It is." Rick growled.

"Looks like they came a little earlier than planned." I said uneasily as we reached the courtyard.

"You guys ready?" Rick asked Michonne, Maggie, Beth, Hershel and Glenn who had their rifles and guns out and just finished loading up the cars.

"Hershel, you know what to do." Rick nodded to him as he took Carl and Beth with him along with Judith through the tunnels out the backside of the prison and into the woods to temporarily hide there.

"Alright let's get into position." Rick said to the rest of us who were left behind.

Glenn and Maggie were wearing the armed police uniform with the rifles as Rick and I watched them shoot automatic fire into the crowd of Woodbury people who began fleeing.

We parked some of the cars outside into the woods ready for our escape if we had to leave what was our home. By now the Governor and his main men were trawling through C block trying to find us but we planned ahead. This time we were going to be ready for them.

There were more of them than there were of us so we were outnumbered, outgunned. But we had home court advantage. The gunfire went on for a while and suddenly we could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Rick turned to me putting a finger to his lips as he stepped forwards with his rifle up looking over the stairs.

I pulled out my gun and held my finger on the trigger. More rapid footsteps could be heard running up the stairs.

"Get out of here!" Rick shouted shooting his rifle bullets down onto the stairs to prevent anyone from coming up. Whoever it was worked because we could hear the retreating footsteps.

"It's too quiet on this side Rick." I whispered to him not knowing if anyone else was up here listening.

"Let me go check the west side again, see if anyone snuck in through the tunnels." I said as he thought to himself for a minute.

"Okay. Be careful." He said lowly.

I nodded and walked across the dark corridor switching my colt for the rifle checking around the rooms for any movement. I reached the west side of the prison building which was half burnt down. Looking around there were no snipers, no men from the Governor.

I stayed there for a few minutes just in case when a few armed men came into view trying to find a way into the tunnels. I picked up the rifle and shot near their feet immediately making them point their weapons up in the air and shoot towards me. I ducked down quickly covering my head from the fire when they stopped.

"We don't wanna hurt ya! We just do what he tells us to." One of the men shouted up.

"Whoever ya are, please don't shoot." the other man spoke.

"I'm warning you, step back." I called from my low position to the ground I peaked my head around just to check and sure enough the men were moving closer to where the tunnels are.

"Look take it easy darlin' and nobody will get hurt." Another man drawled out.

"Okay I warned you." I said before shooting the rifle in their general direction causing them to run back and into the woods. I stayed there for a longer time to make sure nobody else was smart enough to sneak in.

Sufficient it was clear I creeped back down the corridor and over to where Rick was shooting into the courtyard. He stopped when he noticed I came back.

"What happened? Heard a lot of gunfire." Rick asked.

"Some guys thinking they were smart enough to sneak in through the tunnels. I took care of it." I reassured him as he nodded. I set my rifle up next to his as we watched the courtyard, there were still gunfire coming from other areas of the prison. But then we heard and saw the cars revving out of the courtyard and it was suddenly silent.

"It worked?" I whispered to Rick from our place towards the roof of the building.

"Looks like it." the corners of his mouth lifted as we leaned forward from our hiding place seeing the courtyard clear with just a few cars parked. We went down the stairs which were smoky from all the gunfire into C block and saw it remained intact.

Michonne, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie and Carol came out to the courtyard, all of us out of breath and exhausted letting out sighs of relief.

"We did it. We drove them out." Rick said triumphantly looking over the fields and the destroyed guard towers.

"We should go after them." Michonne said holding her sword.

"We should finish it." Daryl nodded agreeing with her.

"It is finished didn't you see 'em hightail it outta here?" Maggie asked incredulously.

"They could regroup." Michonne reasoned.

"Yeah we can't take the chance he's not gonna stop." Glenn argued.

"They're right. We can't keep living like this." Carol sighed.

"We can't take the fight back to Woodbury, we barely made it back last time." Maggie said anxiously.

"Yeah," Rick trailed off looking into the distance.

"Let's check on the others." We followed him into the prison when out came Beth with Judith along with Carl and Hershel.

"Carl," I jogged over to him and gave him a tight hug which he returned.

"Hey Hershel." I smiled at the man who walked in on crutches as he smiled back.

Judith was making sounds in Beth's arms as I bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

"You good?" I put my hand on Beth's shoulder who smiled at me.

"Carl," Rick pulled him in for a hug but he just remained stiff. Okay so he was still pissed with him.

"Dad, I'm coming to Woodbury." Carl said firmly as Rick placed a hand on his forehead.

"Carl," Rick stood back up sighing.

"I-I did my job out there, just like all of you. Took out one of the Governor's soldiers." My eyes shot up in surprise as I looked at Carl and was slightly concerned when I saw no remorse in the kid's eyes.

"Soldiers? That was a kid who stumbled across on us." Hershel clarified as I shot Carl a worried look.

"I'm sorry you had to do that." Rick looked down at Carl.

"That's what I'm there for. I'm going with you." Carl said before walking off.

"Rick he can't. He shouldn't." I walked over to him where he was standing beside Hershel.

"The kid was handing his gun over, it wasn't in defence." Hershel said lowly as I gulped taking in what he was saying.

"Maybe it looked like that to you but-" Rick started.

"Rick." Hershel said more forcefully.

"He gunned the kid down."

"Both of you, Carl's been through a lot at such a young age. Those experiences, they change you." I looked between Rick and Hershel who gave me their undivided attention.

"He's had to grow up so fast and now he thinks he needs to do this. Rick you gotta remind him he's still a kid and that he doesn't need to, no matter how much he tries to oppose it." Rick's blue eyes flashed in mine as he nodded slowly.

We gathered our weapons and began loading up the cars ready to move out to Woodbury, we were going to take the fight to them. We had the advantage as they had no idea we were coming yet. Daryl had his motorbike ready as I drove my BMW up to the front gate, Glenn loaded the supplies and weapons into my car.

"Glenn, haven't had much of a chance to talk to you lately. I'm sorry about that, how are you?" I looked at the man who was loading boxes into the trunk.

"Hey Pol, nah its alright. I'm okay, I'm happy. I know it's weird to think that, considering what's going on but I've got the person I love." Glenn looked back at Maggie who was helping Michonne load the jeep with machine guns and bullets.

"I'm so happy for you both." I smiled at him.

"It's weird, my family they lived in Maine and I moved out when I was about 18. I was never all that close with them so when the outbreak happened I just assumed they died." Glenn began looking at me.

"I've got more of a family now than I ever did, especially working as a delivery boy." Glenn shrugged.

"I bet you were one hell of a delivery boy." I nudged him.

"The best." He smiled.

"I know what you mean. All of you are my family, I'm glad I found you. Even at the end of the world." I said sincerely as he placed a hand on my shoulder before going towards Maggie.

Carl was sitting alone on the table looking down at the ground. I wanted to go talk to him but this was something he needed to hear from his father. Rick walked past me and towards Carl as they spoke in hushed conversation. I watched them as Carl said something and walked away leaving Rick bent down looking at the ground.

"Rick, we're staying. We don't know where the Governor is but if he comes back, we'll hold him off." Glenn stated referring to himself and Maggie.

"Just the four of us goin' then? Alright." Daryl nodded picking up his machine gun.

"Take care y'all," Daryl looked at Beth, Hershel, Carl, Carol, Glenn and Maggie who were staying behind to defend the prison.

We took my car as it was the fastest as Rick drove I decided to stay in the passenger seat with Michonne in the back, Daryl's motorbike was just speeding ahead leading us out of the prison.

"Y'all know the plan?" Rick looked at me and Michonne as we nodded.

"Yeah it'll be fine." I said dismissively but there was an undeniable tension in the air as we drove down the highway. Daryl signalled us as both the car and motorbike slowed down. We got out of the car as I placed a hand over my mouth in shock. The road was littered with half eaten dead bodies and walkers eating those people. There were a few trucks but no signs of life.

"This is horrific." I said pulling out my machete and putting the poor bastards out of their misery.

"But these are the Governor's own people. He wouldn't do this to his own?" I asked around as Michonne took care of the other walkers.

"Oh I think he would." Rick said angrily. There was a thud in the window of one of the army trucks as we looked up seeing a woman in there. Alive.

Rick immediately pulled out his gun and pointed it towards her. Daryl opened the truck and helped her out as Rick lowered his gun. I recognised her, she was one of the residents of Woodbury, one of the Governor's people. This had to be a trap. A trick definitely.

"What happened? Where is he?" Michonne asked her katana by her side.

"H-he he just- he just-" She was shaking and could barely get her words out, she was genuinely scared. I lowered my machete as Rick and Daryl lowered their own weapons.

"It's alright." I said gently as her eyes shot in my direction. The words we won't hurt you stayed in my mind, because there was no telling what was going to happen.

"Tell us." Rick said firmly.

"He started shooting, he killed everyone, I don't know why but he just shot everyone without a second glance. I'm sorry, I didn't know what he was like. He's a monster." The woman said anxiously.

I pulled Rick to one side as Daryl followed whilst Michonne kept an eye on her.

"Do we believe her?" Daryl asked looking between us.

"I think I believe her, how else would we explain this massacre. I don't think it's a trap, the Governor is fully capable of a monstrosity like this." I said spitting out my hatred for the man.

"I don't know if we can trust her, but she seems to be telling the truth. We'll take her with us." Rick said decidedly.

By the time we arrived at Woodbury, we had the cover of darkness and we took the woman known as Karen with us. She was trustworthy and she was helping us find a sneakier route in. We snuck past the gazebo and up to the gate with our weapons drawn.

Suddenly there was gunfire as I ducked down to the ground, scraping my hand against the tarmac making me wince. We fired back at the gate as we all hid behind the old rusty cars.

"Tyrese! It's me don't-" Karen shouted.

"Get down!" Rick shouted pulling her to the ground.

Tyrese? I know that name, they came to the prison. Asking us for help, and we turned them away because we thought we couldn't trust them. Now look, they're shooting at us.

"Karen! Karen are you okay?" A gruff deep voice shouted back as the gunfire ceased.

"I'm fine!" She stood up and wrestled out of Rick's grasp with her arms raised in surrender.

"No wait." I tugged on Rick's shoulder who was about to pull her back down. He turned to look at me affronted.

"They trust her, just wait." I said noticing how his face was only a couple of inches away from mine as his blue eyes were locked in mine. The moment passed and the intense gaze was gone as he snapped his head back to Karen.

"Where's the Governor?" The man who must've been Tyrese asked.

"He fired on everyone! He killed them all." Karen said her voice wavering.

"Why are you with them?" Tyrese shouted aggressively.

"They saved me!" Karen said.

"We're coming out! We're coming out." Rick shouted as we all lowered our weapons and moved towards the gate with our hands up.

"Tyrese, Sasha." I nodded to the siblings who walked out through the gate with their weapons also lowered.

"Why are you here?" Tyrese asked.

"We were coming to finish this, until we saw what the Governor did." Rick said.

"He-he killed them?" Tyrese asked in disbelief as Rick nodded slowly looking down.

"Karen told us Andrea hopped the wall, going for the prison. She never made it. She might be here." Rick said looking around at them. I looked down at the ground, feeling ashamed that I never considered if Andrea was okay, she was staying with a dangerous man.

"Alright, come in." Tyrese said as we followed them through the gate down the roads of the town which seemed completely empty.

"What-what is it?" Michonne asked noticing my ashamed expression.

"Andrea, we never even considered if she was okay." I said sadly.

"You can't blame yourself Pol, she's a grown woman who made her own decisions. We'll find her." Michonne nodded to me walking beside Daryl.

"I hope so." I muttered.

"There's nothing more you could've done." Rick said watching me.

"Yes there is." I nodded closing my eyes.

"We could've let her stay with us." I said walking forward.

"You can blame me for that." Rick said gulping.

"We're both to blame." I said looking back at him.

"I think I know where Andrea might be." Daryl said from in front of us. He led us over to a building which looked all too familiar. We walked inside and the same old, bloody brown walls with long twisting corridors stood before us.

"This is where he held Glenn an' Maggie." Daryl commented as Sasha and Tyrese walked beside him.

"The Governor held people here?" Tyrese asked in shock.

"Did more than hold 'em." Daryl replied. We had our guns out as we walked into a dark room and came out to a corrugated metal door. On the ground there was a scarlet pool of blood seeping through.

I inhaled sharply and pulled out my machete looking worriedly at the door. I looked at Michonne who had her katana and the same forlorn expression in her eyes.

"Will you open it?" She said with a shaky voice to Rick. I think we knew. We knew what was coming. Why would we think we could catch a break with anyone, we've already lost so much family.

Rick pulled the door open as Daryl held his crossbow out and there was a dead Walker lying on the floor in the centre of the room. Just behind the door there were feet laying across the floor.

"Andrea!" Michonne exclaimed dropping the katana as we both ran towards her unconscious body leaning against the wall. She was alive. God she was alive.

"Andrea." I whimpered holding her up with one arm as she gave me a weak smile.

"I tried to stop him." She said weakly with blood on her forehead. I used my jacket to wipe some of the blood off her face but she pushed my hands off.

"You're burnin' up." Michonne said looking at Andrea who was pale and sweating profusely, Rick leaned down in front of her. Andrea pulled back the shirt on her right shoulder where there was a large bite mark which had blood spewing from it. I moved back slightly as my eyes welled up with tears. Rick looked down placing a hand on his forehead before focusing on Andrea again.

"Judith, Carl. The rest of them." Andrea looked at Rick.

"Us. The rest of us." Rick said, his voice thick with emotion. Michonne was silently crying on her other side as I couldn't bring myself to look at Andrea in the face. Too much guilt, if I had just told her to come with us, stay with us, she wouldn't be dying.

"Are they alive?" She asked Rick as I looked down at the concrete ground tears clouding my vision, I settled for holding her hand.

"Yeah, they're alive." He inched closer to her as she smiled.

"It's good you found them." she smiled at Michonne who choked back tears.

"No one can make it alone now." Andrea looked up at Daryl who had a look of grief on his face.

"I never could." He replied solemnly.

"I just didn't want anyone to die." Andrea looked at Rick.

"And you." I didn't have to look up to know she was looking at me.

"Pol."

"Polaris." She said my full name as I began wiping my tears away from my face furiously.

"Yeah," I whispered not being able to speak.

"Stop it." She said forcefully.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sor-" I couldn't finish the sentence, my heart was overwhelmed, I was losing more of my family.

"Stop blaming yourself. This wasn't on you." She squeezed my hand.

"It wasn't on any of you." She looked at the others.

"I can do it myself. I have to. While I still can." Andrea said as Michonne nodded breaking out in tears again.

"Please. I know how the safety works." She smiled at Rick as a look of understanding passed between them. Rick placed the gun in her hand.

"Well I'm not going anywhere." Michonne managed a weak smile.

"Neither am I." I said firmly as Andrea looked back at me.

"I tried." Andrea said looking at all of us.

"You did, you did." Rick said shakily placing a hand on her shoulder before Rick and Daryl closed the door leaving the three of us together.

Michonne had one hand behind Andrea's neck stroking her hair as I sat up against the wall on Andrea's other side.

"You two are my best friends. I love you both." Andrea said looking at both of us as we had tears down our cheeks.

"We love you too." I choked out in sobs.

"I think it's time." Andrea said as I moved to lean in front of her. She held the gun up to her head closing her eyes.

"We're here, we're here for you." Michonne said placing a hand on her knee.

Seconds went by and felt like a lifetime. I closed my eyes then suddenly, the sound of the gunshot rang out loud and clear, by the time I opened them, Andrea was lying lifeless on the floor, a hole in her head as me and Michonne stayed there mourning for our dead friend.

The entire ride back to the prison in the jeep, I didn't say a word. Michonne stared out of the window, Rick silently drove and I put my headphones in my ears, lost in my own bubble. The Governor had escaped, he was nowhere to be found. Good riddance. The rest of Woodbury, we brought back with us in buses and trucks. More people to survive with, more people to take in.

I looked out the window as the gates to the prison opened with Glenn and Maggie, the beautiful sunrise poured in lighting up the sky in a streak of colours.

The rest of our family came out of the prison and the members of our new family we helped out of the bus.

"What is this?" Carl asked Rick as more people came out.

"They're gonna join us." Rick said as Carl ran away. Hershel, welcomed the stream of new people inside the prison block.

No one said it was going to be easy. We were going to lose more people along the way, we've lost friends, family, people near and dear to us. But we had to stick together, we were going to build our community.

I watched as Rick looked up towards the bridge connecting both parts of the prison and into the sun.

"You see something?" I asked as he looked back down and turned to face me.

"Not anymore." He smiled slightly. I wrapped my arm around his bicep as he looked at me in surprise.

We walked together as I looked back into the sunrise.

It was a new day.

 **\- Angels and Douchebags.**

 **A/N: What did you guys think? Let me know about the relationship thing, so I can plan out how to do it. Also I'm so sad for Andrea's death, I hope I did that scene justice between the three of them and even though she was in Woodbury, I wanted to show that they were still close and circumstances got in the way of that so I wanted to resolve that.**

 **A side note, the next couple of chapters will be between season 3 and season 4 because Glenn and Maggie's wedding! Also Pol training with Hershel to learn some medical ish. So stay tuned! Hopefully I will upload next week, I will do my best!**


	32. Chapter 32 - 9 Days Without Accident

**A/N: Okay 10 days later than my last chapter but technically I updated last week so it still counts... So this is the first interlude chapter between season 3 and 4! I'm gonna do a couple of these because there's a lot of potential for some good writing, tension, character development, drama, betrayal etc. This one is kinda an introduction to get your heads round how it's developed since taking in the Woodbury citizens and is the lead on to Glenn and Maggie's wedding. The next one will be their wedding and the one after that will start to see some more new familiar characters come in. It's very hard getting Pol to interact with every character, especially the new ones! So I'll do my best and these next couple of chapters are hopefully going to be some fun ones! emotion filled as well obviously.**

 **Anyways, thanks to all who favourited and followed me and my story! sperosvengence, Reading-Addict-Meg, purplepecky and twojj! You guys made my day and thank you to my reviewers!**

 **Ryane: I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU I MISSED YOUR REVIEWS. ahh I'm so glad you're still reading and I know, it's like the universe is working against them urgh! More drama to come regarding them. I'm sure you'll hate me for it...**

 **purplepecky: I don't want to sound dramatic here but I was having a really bad day then I read your review and I was basically crying with joy. The fact that someone said my fanfic was their favourite? Meant a lot, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and I'm so glad I made you cry! XD Haha I know I'm not so good with updating but I'll manage once a week, and technically it's still a week on. Ah yes I haven't got as much bonding time in this chapter but I'll try fitting in more in the next one and following ones! Continue to enjoy this story!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead, or any affiliated characters and storyline, only my OC and my plotline.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

06 March 2018

21:20

Jab. Jab. Jab. Jab cross. Ouch.

I pulled my shoulder back and rolled it trying to get rid of the stiffness of the muscles. I can't believe there was a time that I was able to just go at this boxing bag without stopping and now I couldn't manage a few jabs. Well I guess the zombie apocalypse was a good excuse.

The boxing bag was hanging towards the side of the cafeteria area and it was the only time of day it was quiet, so I could practise in peace. No one could make fun of me.

Daryl found it a few days ago on a run and somehow hauled it back on his motorbike so we managed to hang it up. It was kinda old and falling apart but it was a piece of my old life. The better part of my old life

Okay let's go again. I put my wrapped hands up to my face and began jabbing again slowly before building up. Jab. Jab. Ja-

"Hey looking good on that!"

I turned to the side my face was completely sweaty to see Karen looking somehow perfect despite there being no skincare or beauty care in our times. We found a bottle of shampoo last week and we've been treating it like liquid gold.

"Hey Karen." I chuckled seeing her carrying a crate towards the courtyard.

"Hey," She waved.

"You look like you know what you're doing." She commented seeing the position of my body and my hands up to my face.

"Well I started doing this before, well you know. And since Daryl found it. Why not." I shrugged.

"Where you off to?" I asked seeing the cans in the crate.

"Taking these to Carol outside. Spaghetti Tuesdays." She said.

"Uh it's Thursday." I pointed out.

"Oh I know, Hershel's request." She smiled.

"Ah." I nodded.

"Speaking of, He was looking for ya. Said hope you weren't gonna spend all your time on this and actually start your training with him soon."

"Well however well I train for my boxing championship?" I mock sighed making Karen roll her eyes.

"Soon you'll be able to knockout the guys here." Karen grinned.

"Oh yeah give me an hour and we can test that out." I laughed turning to face her.

"Speaking of guys, how is Tyrese?" I have her a sly smile.

"Bye Pol." She smirked walking off.

Okay where was I? Jab. Jab. Jab. Cross. Hook.

This went on for a good half an hour until I was completely and truly tired. I collapsed to the ground and sat on the floor staring at my shoes. The concrete was a nice cool contrast to my skin which felt like it was on fire.

I looked beside me to see Maggie sit next to me.

"Hey bride to be." I nudged her with my shoulder as she looked down smiling.

"Hey come on now." She nudged me back.

"I still can't believe you managed to talk me into making this a thing." Maggie looked up at the ceiling.

"Every girl should have her dream wedding - apocalypse or not." I defended.

"I'm grateful anyways. I appreciate the effort y'all are puttin' in for me." Maggie smiled.

"Please Maggie it's nothing, we're family." I smiled back.

"Hope you're ready for tonight." Maggie said.

"What do you mean? It's just a little girls night, a kinda bachelorette party." I stated.

"Well yeah, uh it was. 'Cept now, Karen found some tequila on the last run." Maggie started eyeing me cautiously.

"Oh great." I said sarcastically shaking my head.

"I know you don't drink Pol, so I just wanna run it by you. If it was alright, I totally understand if you say no." Maggie argued.

"Nah it's okay, I don't really mind. Me and Beth can just take shots of coke. Same effect." I grinned.

"I guess." She chuckled standing up.

"You nervous?" I asked following her lead.

"About gettin' married? Nah. It's the one thing I've been sure of since this happened." She gestured around her.

"I'm glad for you." I nodded.

"I'll see ya later. When you're clean and smell less." Maggie pinched her nose mockingly.

"I will come and hug you if you're not careful." I said warningly as she put her hands up in surrender before leaving.

I walked out of the cafeteria area down the corridors passing several people back to C block where we were staying. Since taking in everyone from Woodbury, the prison was buzzing with activity and life. It was a lovely pleasant feeling, it had also been 9 days since someone had died. And that was honestly a gift.

I got back to my cell picking up fresh pair of clothes seeing nobody around and sat down on my bed sighing. Sure we had a whole new bunch of people to call family and friends but I felt more alone than ever.

Everyone was always busy with chores, runs at different times so I hardly saw them as much or even got to talk to them. And Rick.

I was falling more in love with Rick everyday, as pathetic as that sounded. It was getting almost unbearable to be around him. My heart threatened to beat out of my chest and my stomach erupted in butterflies every time our skin made contact.

I wanted to tell him. Okay I was going to, this time for sure I was going to tell him. Tomorrow night, after Glenn and Maggie's wedding because there's something about him, like he might feel something for me to. I can't have imagined it. I just can't.

Finally snapping myself out of my thoughts I ventured out of the ghost like C block and almost walked into the man himself. Who seemed to be much happier these days, but his relationship with Carl? Well it was strained since he took Carl's gun away.

"Woah, easy." Rick steadied me with his arms as I looked up into his blue eyes.

"Hey there." I almost melted at his touch.

"Hey, where you off to in such a hurry?" Rick asked letting go. To my disdain.

"Uh shower. Have you seen me?" I chuckled.

"Yeah, you do look uhm-" Rick was lost for words.

"In need of a shower." He finished.

"Very smooth." I narrowed my eyes playfully at him.

"Looks like I'm not the only one." I looked him up and down seeing the dirt on his jeans and t-shirt.

"Yeah well Hershel has me digging fields and planting crops." Rick said looking at himself.

"Ah well that's a good skill to have." I said appraisingly.

"I feel more useful with a gun in my hands. Honestly don't think I've done much lately." Rick said running a hand through his hair. Man it looked so soft.

"Don't beat yourself up Rick, most of us wouldn't be here without you. You've saved my life many times." I defended him.

"And you've saved mine." He shot back.

"Okay so we're even. But you still owe me that leather jacket." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"When I get it, you will." Rick stated with a promise.

"So you guys are having a little party I heard," Rick changed the subject.

"Oh so you've been listening to idle gossip?" I smirked at him.

"Umm no." He scratched his neck.

"News spreads round here like crazy." He defended.

"Sure man." I grinned.

"It's just a little get together. They'll drink, we'll talk. I'm sure it'll be a blast. Karen's fun, Maggie's the bride, Carol will impart some great life wisdom, Sasha's funny and Beth's cute." I explained shrugging.

"And you. What about you?" Rick asked.

"What about me?"

"You're funny. Witty. Incredibly smart. A Rocky Balboa on the boxing bag I've heard." Rick listed smiling at me.

"That's sweet of you to say." I beamed at him feeling happy and grinning at his reference.

"Thanks Adrian." I winked at him making him laugh.

"Adrian and Rocky were married right?" Rick asked making me pale realising what I had just insinuated between us.

"Yeah, they were. But you know I meant like Adrian was his support you're like my constant support, not like we're married or anything." I babbled as Rick raised an eyebrow at me.

"I know what you meant. And I Appreciate that. Thanks." Rick laughed.

"You should give yourself more credit Pol." He nudged me on the shoulder walking past.

"Thanks Grimes. You're not too bad yourself." I called out as he punched the air with his fist making my laugh echo out in the cell block.

—

Showered and cleaned up I headed to the courtyard following the sweet aroma of Spaghetti-Os. I had never had them before this but now every time Carol made them, I couldn't help it.

"Carol you've outdone yourself." I groaned through mouthfuls of spaghetti.

"Literally all I've done is open a can and heated up over the fire." She shrugged looking at me amused.

"Yeah, don't I get credit for carrying the crate?" Karen asked helping her plate it up and equal sized portions.

"Nah I don't think that's how it works." Sasha came taking a plate from the rack as Karen glared at her.

I took one and followed Sasha as we sat down on one of the benches watching the others happily enjoying lunch around us.

"So Maggie told me, Karen found some tequila." Sasha began eating her food looking at me questioning.

"Uh yeah you heard right." I smirked.

"One sip of that shit and it'll go to our heads." Sasha shook her head smiling slightly.

"Your heads." I corrected.

"You're not drinking?" She checked as I shook my head noticing Beth, Zack and Carl eating lunch together.

"I don't drink." I stated turning back to face her as I continued eating the spaghetti.

"Really? At all? Is that like a personal choice or?" Sasha asked firing her line of questioning.

"Yeah personal choice." I said feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Sasha was nice and all but I didn't know her as well and she didn't know some things about me either. Those are private. Personal.

"Ah don't worry I get it." She said putting her hands up.

"Tyrese and Karen seem to be getting along well." I pointed my fork to where Tyrese and Karen were talking and smiling at each other.

"Yeah it's nice that my brother found someone." Sasha gave a small smile observing them.

"He was never good at that kinda stuff. But I'm happy for him. Neither am I to be honest." Sasha said.

"Oh I'm the same." I agreed.

"It's she's finding someone to share your time with. Especially with the world going to shit." Sasha chuckled.

"You're telling me." I smiled.

"I think when you find that someone. You shouldn't let it go, you should take chances. Leap of faith." Sasha said pointedly to me.

"You wanna say something Sasha?" I raised my eyebrows at her accusing eyes.

"I know you got a crush on Rick." She said point black as I told her to lower her voice.

"Yo shhh, gossip spreads like wildfire!" I looked around making sure no one had heard.

"Who told you?"

"No one told me. Girl I just watched, the way you look at him when he's not lookin' I've caught him lookin' at you too. But none of you idiots do anything." Sasha said with a great level of sass.

"Uh," her speech rendered me speechless.

"He's been looking at me?" I checked to make sure she wasn't making me feel better.

"Yes. And not in the creepy stalker way. In the hey, she looks real fine kinda way." Sasha smirked nodding her head over to where Rick now was in the courtyard.

I followed her line of sight seeing him standing there in new clothes and looking freshly showered. He laughed at something Carol said and looked around the courtyard before his eyes focused on me. He raised his hand in a wave as I waved back.

"Really?" I turned back to Sasha who was shaking her head.

"Really." She confirmed before getting up.

"Hey Sasha. Thanks." I smiled gratefully.

"For what?" She asked.

"For the confidence boost." I grinned sheepishly as she returned it.

"Anytime. Hope you take my advice." She raised an eyebrow leaving me by myself at the table.

I looked back towards where Carol was but there was no more Rick to be found. I decided to go find Hershel who was no doubt in B block taking care of everyone as usual. I walked into B block which was smaller than the rest and generally used as an infirmary. We had a few painkillers, oxygen pumps but no antibiotics or any way to operate on anyone at all. Luckily enough, people usually came in with superficial injuries, usually cuts, bruises and burns.

"Ah good you're here." Hershel looked up from one of the younger girls Mika who had blood covering her knee and looked like she was in a considerable amount of pain.

"Mika honey what happened?" I knelt down in front of the little girl beside Hershel who was wiping away the wound.

"She tripped and scraped her knee in the courtyard." The voice of Lizzie her sister made me jump as I saw her appear from around the bed. Lizzie was a strange girl, I know she was young but she always unnerved me.

"Ah okay thanks Lizzie." I briefly flashed a smile at Lizzie who sat down on the bed beside her younger sister.

"Okay watch and learn Pol." Hershel instructed as he wiped away the dirt from her cut and pressed a linen on it to stop the bleeding. After a few minutes he stopped and removed the linen seeing that her cut had stopped bleeding, it wasn't too deep. Thrombosis had already started taking place and the platelets would be closing up her wound soon.

"I think I know how to clean up cuts Hershel." I chuckled as the older man gave me a withering stare.

"Don't sass me young lady." He glared playfully as I gave him a mock salute.

"Alright Mica you're good to go, you be careful now." Hershel said to the younger girl who ran off with her sister trailing behind her.

"Where's Dr S?" I asked looking around seeing no sign of Caleb anywhere. My help wasn't needed as much down here with one of our newcomers Caleb who was a doctor and Hershel both treating people. But they still thought I could be useful as an assistant or even have basic medical knowledge in case anything happened to them.

"He went out to lunch. I said I would cover for him." Hershel said wiping his hands withna towel.

"Follow me." Hershel indicated as we moved to the next cell where one of the new guys Patrick was lying in bed shivering.

"Woah." I said as I leaned down beside him and observed him. He was shaking and shivering and his forehead was laced with sweat, his eyes kept rolling back and when I touched his head it was hot.

"What's the diagnosis?" Hershel asked me.

"He's clearly got a fever, he's burning up, possibly hallucinating." I said.

"That's right. So what do you suggest?" Hershel asked.

"Well antibiotics would be great but we don't have those. We need to wet linens in cold water to try and cool him down, he needs to stay rehydrated and possibly we could use some painkillers?" I suggested.

"Very good. I actually do have a small stash of antibiotics for bad cases. And well this constitutes as one." Hershel admitted as my eyes widened, he pulled out an antibiotics tube from his back pocket.

After seeing Patrick I followed Hershel around for another couple of hours until it was mid-afternoon seeing various other patients, who were mainly just feeling unwell. But all they needed was rest, water and maybe some painkillers - its not like we had advanced medical equipment nearby but it was nice to do something worthwhile in the prison. Helping out a lot more.

"I'll see you same time tomorrow Pol? Before Glenn and Maggie's ceremony." Hershel said as I washed up.

"Yeah sure! You're still up for actually marrying them off? Because Lizzie and Mika's dad Ryan said he could do it because he did become a pastor." I suggested alternatively but Hershel shook his head.

"I will be marrying my daughter off." Hershel said with a glint in his eye.

"Great. Bye!" I grinned walking off. I came out of B block and bumped into Carol who was holding about 10 candles with a few jars in a basket.

"Oh these are for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we found them as you asked on the last run. Well Daryl did and I quote 'i ain't meant to be out here findin' these girly things' unquote." Carol grinned doing her best imitation of Daryl.

"Hey that was pretty good." I laughed.

"I'll be sure to thank him, just dump those in my cell?" I asked as Carol nodded walking off.

I walked into the courtyard and there hiding in one corner were Zach and Beth who looked like they were in the middle of a heated um make out session.

"Beth," I said softly from around the corner but she couldn't hear me.

"Beth!" I called out a bit louder as they jumped 5 feet apart from each other.

"Oh Pol, sorry didn't see ya there." Zach scratched his head flashing me a smile as Beth looked embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it Zach, I just need to borrow Beth for a moment. It's about tonight." I explained as he nodded before looking back at Beth.

"I'll see you later?" Beth said sweetly to Zach as he smiled and gave her another kiss before rushing off.

"Well you look happy." I nudged Beth as we walked through the yard.

"I am." She smiled blushing and looking down at the ground.

"Anyways I wanted to say that Sasha and Karen said they found this white dress on a run in a department store and you've got it? For Maggie to wear tomorrow." I asked her.

"Yeah, I hid it away real safe." Beth answered.

"Okay." I nodded ticking off the mental checklist in my head.

"Rick said he found a blazer that's bout Glenn's size and it's in his cell." Beth said.

"Oh that's great! Okay, okay this is turning out to be good." A wide smile made its way onto my face. The way that absolutely nothing has gone right in this apocalypse? This wedding was turning out to be promising.

"I'll see you tonight, cafeteria 9 pm." I pointed to her as she nodded walking off.

"Sasha, Karen." I walked over to where they were sitting by the grill laughing and joking.

"Hey Pol, are you okay? You look stressed." Karen said as she turned to face me.

"Nah I'm fine just making sure that we have enough food for tomorrow?" I stood slightly breathless with my hands on my hips.

"Don't stress girl, Caleb, Norris and Chloe just came back with the food you asked. They actually found some good stuff." Karen said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, the found about a dozen canned beefs, 6 cans of potatoes and 4 cans of tomatoes." Sasha counted off.

"Oh wow, okay so we got some good food for tomorrow. I'm just a bit worried that if we eat all the beef tomorrow we might not have enough later on-"

"Polaris. Relax." Sasha put her hands on my shoulders.

"You know we already rationed the food and stored them in the basement, it's okay for us to have a little luxury tomorrow." Sasha said calmly as I relaxed.

"And since we cleared the field a few days ago we can have dinner in the courtyard. As long as no one get's crazy we'll be okay, shouldn't attract any of the Walkers." Karen explained as I let out a sigh of relief.

"So we're on track." I said.

"Yeah, nothing to worry about." Sasha beamed.

"Okay I'll see you guys later, 9pm?"

"We wouldn't miss it!" Karen beamed.

After finally getting back to C block I had some time to kill before our party. I took the blazer from Rick's cell, and the dress from Beth's cell and folded them in my room where they had been recently cleaned. Making a mental note to thank both Carol and Daryl later I decided to relax and sit on my bed writing in my journal about what had passed.

The past 9 days had been fairly uneventful but it had been crazy busy. On day 3 we set about clearing the field which with new people it helped. Daryl would go on runs regularly with Glenn and a few others to come back with supplies such as food and half the time they came back with new people.

Our little family was growing bigger and bigger. We had developed a community, we had efficiency, rules, boundaries but more importantly we all had each other. I put the last book I had finished back on the small growing piles of books on the floor. Rick couldn't find my leather jacket but whatever books he could find he brought them back to me, because I told him how much I loved to read before all this happened.

The last book I read was a medical dictionary which he thought would be useful for my training with Hershel. The book I started reading now as called Perks of Being a Wallflower and it allowed me to escape when things were getting too much. But I could hardly complain, there had been no attacks, no accidents, no deaths since. Since Andrea. I closed the book and sighed remembering how scared she looked, how alone she felt. At least me and Michonne were with her in the end.

"Got a minute?" I looked up from my bed seeing Rick poke his head around the cell door.

"Sure come in." I gestured as he came in the cell standing awkwardly in one corner with his hands behind his back.

"I won't bite." I chuckled as he came and sat on the bed beside me.

"What you got there?" I asked seeing his arms still behind him, he moved his arms in front and revealed the front cover of a book. _Lord of the Rings._

"No way! You found it!" I gasped looking at his hands.

"Found it a couple days ago, wanted to surprise you." Rick smiled slightly handing the book to me. I took the book from him and pressed it to my chest.

"You do know that this is my favourite book of all time. For ever." I emphasised.

"I know. You told me to keep an eye out for it." Rick chuckled.

"Thank you. I love this." I closed my eyes as I felt tears threating to spill over.

"Hey, are you alright? Didn't mean to upset ya." Rick looked down at me his hand just touching my shoulders in a comforting manner.

"Oh no I'm fine honestly. It just. This means a lot to me." I wiped the tears feeling a bit embarrassed I was getting emotional over a book.

"Yeah?" Rick asked as he removed his hand from my shoulder and placed it on the bed just a couple of centimetres away from mine.

"I told you about my childhood right." I started as Rick nodded.

"From all the terrible things my father used to do, books were my escape. And in particular I loved this one the most. The characters were so brave and heroic and it was a whole other world to imagine! They made films on it too. I went to go see them in cinema when it came out and it was better than I imagined. Just thank you Rick. Thank you." I smiled at him.

"Your welcome." He said softly smiling back as his eyes glanced up to mine.

"So uhm, me and Michonne were gonna check the perimeter, just to make sure the fence is secure." Rick said as he began standing up.

"Oh it's fine." I said pulling my legs back up onto the bed.

"You'll be alright though?" he checked brushing the hair back from his face.

"Go go, I'll be fine really." I gave him an encouraging smile.

"Alright." He drawled as the corners of his mouth turned up he left the room.

I pressed the book to my chest once more, savouring the one happy piece of my childhood I had left.

 **A/N: Well, what do you guys think of this self written chapter? Did I do good with no episode guideline to follow? Let me know your thoughts, I'll update soon!**


	33. Chapter 33 - The Bachelorette Party

**A/N: Wow so it has been a while! I'm so glad to be back and writing this story! I'm excited for you guys to read this chapter, let me know what you think. So this is part 2 of 9 days without accident and the wedding is actually gonna be in the next chapter because I wanted the bachelorette party in this one!**

 **Thanks to everyone who supports my story including those who favourite and follow: kvb89, pinkiceangelbaby, CJE, Austin Morgan and Inu-Hanyou2016! and to the new people who favourited and followed during exam time: jrocha374282, , lylooo99, AlyssaMcGrath, sampatt, WinterBarnesCaptainRodgers and Sashasnow522, I mean wow there's so many of you! Also thanks to my lovely reviewers who motivate me to write:**

 **purplepecky: Urgh I know I loved writing that scene, I wanted to make them kiss right there and then but I thought it was more powerful with the talking and interaction. See the attraction between them is evident, maybe Pol likes him more than he likes her, or because Lori died recently maybe he doesn't know what to do about how he's feeling. I guess you'll see..**

 **jllum: Thank you! I try to write the romance well without the actual romance bit lol.**

 **MaiarofThedas: Took me a minute to realise you were talking about chapter 4. So they're all infected meaning when they die they're all gonna turn, a kinda hopeless scenario that no one stays human it's like the shitty world is kicking them when they're down.**

 **Ryane: haha I watched Rocky recently so I had to sneak that in there (Sylvester Stallone does it in the film), haha oh yes the time it will take will be sweet and agonising. enjoy ;) Thanks for the message about my exams! they went reasonably well.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters, only my storyline and OC.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags.**

9 days without accident - evening

Later that day after we had all had dinner it was almost time for our little party. I checked the clock out in the main part of C block and saw that it read 8.45 pm. Okay. Karen had the tequila ready in the cafeteria, whilst I had a large packet of crisps and a bottle of soda for us non-alcohol drinkers who weren't doing tequila shots.

I saw Daryl sitting holding Judith looking like he was about to fall asleep. Poor guy had a long day out on runs.

"Yo Daryl." I stood over him as he rocked Judith in his arms and looked up.

"You look tired let me take her for a bit." I said as he looked back down at the sleeping blonde haired baby in his arms.

"You sure?" He said gruffly.

"Yeah."

"Don't you have your girly party or sumthin'?" He asked.

"Uh our bachelorette party yeah sure." I chuckled.

"Don't worry I'll make sure she gets to Rick's cell or Carl's in 15 minutes or so." I explained as he reluctantly handed me Judith before settling down on the ground.

"Daryl." I called quietly.

"Mmm?" He muttered his eyes still closed.

"Thanks for getting me all the stuff I needed. I owe you." I said genuinely as Daryl cracked an eye open.

"Don't worry bout it." He shrugged closing his eyes and turning over getting comfortable. I walked down the stairs with Judith into my cell and walked around the small space.

"Hey baby," I whispered.

"You're so beautiful, you're such a good baby." I kissed on her forehead pushing the hair back slightly.

"You kinda look like your mom. Your dad on the other hand.." I trailed off realising I was talking to a sleeping baby.

"I really like your dad you know that." I whispered rocking her gently against me.

"I don't think he knows that though. I wish he did. I should tell him don't you think?" I asked not really expecting an answer.

"But if I tell him, it would change things between us. We have this great friendship, we look out for each other. I mean I don't think that'll ever change but I'm nervous, if he doesn't feel the same it would ruin our friendship. Wouldn't it?" I babbled as she gave me a curious look.

"You're right. If I never told him, I would be stuck with liking him forever, and he would never know. I need to not be a coward about this." I paced the cell thinking.

"Tomorrow! I could tell him tomorrow, at Maggie and Glenn's wedding. Thanks kid." I grinned at Judith who was moving her arms slightly.

"What's that? Oh you're rooting for me!" I grinned.

"Thanks, I know I could never replace your mom Judy. But I love you." I kissed her cheek before placing her on the far side of the bed so she wouldn't fall off.

"Hey." I turned around seeing Carl standing in the cell doorway.

"Hey kid." I smiled as he walked in watching his baby sister lying on the bed.

"You okay to hang here in my cell?" I asked him picking up the large packet of chilli heatwave doritos and the bottle of coca cola.

"Yeah I'll be fine." Carl shrugged sitting down on my bed playing with Judith.

"Feel free to any of my stuff when I'm gone and I'll probably be back late, so you can just sleep in my cell with Judith. Kay?" I asked Carl who was now looking through my books.

"Yeah sure. Woah is that a good idea?" Carl pointed to the bottle of coke.

"Uh yeah, I'm not drinking like the others so I'm taking shots of sugar basically." I chuckled.

"Be careful not to take too much, otherwise it might actually have the same affect as doing shots." Carl said taking the hat off his head.

"And how is it you know so much about this for a 13 year old kid?" I crossed my arms over my chest eyebrows raised at Carl.

"I'm observant." Carl grinned.

"Uh huh. Okay mom!" I called out eyeing him before leaving my cell. I walked out of C-block and down towards the cafeteria where the others were already sitting and talking.

"Now don't tell me y'all already started?" I called out in my best fake southern accent as the other girls cheered in my direction. I headed over to them and sat down on the chair in between Maggie and Michonne.

"Couldn't start without you Pol," Karen smirked handing around the plastic shot glasses to everyone. Sasha, Michonne, Carol, Karen, Beth, Maggie and Me where sitting on the benches around the table with a few candles lit up in the middle.

Karen opened the bottle of tequila and poured shots for everyone except for Beth and me where I poured the coke.

"First off, I'd like to propose a toast, to the Lady of hour, Maggie Greene." Karen raised her glass looking at Maggie who was getting shy.

"She found love in this shitty ass world, a rare and beautiful thing to find even when 99% of the population weren't zombies. And I wish her all the happiness in the world, which I know she'll find with Glenn. To Maggie." Karen smiled at her as we all raised our glasses.

"Hear hear!" We all downed the contents of our glasses. As soon as the sweet, sugary substance hit my throat I felt dizzy and almost sick as I reeled backwards and opened my eyes feeling the buzz of the sugar.

"Phew!" I shook my head feeling slightly lightheaded.

"That's what coke did to me, I don't know how you guys are handling it." I looked, smirking at the others who looked ready to throw up.

"I got a pretty high tolerance to alcohol." The look of discomfort came off Michonne's face as she smiled looking a bit easy.

"That tasted gooood." Karen nodded her head as the others recovered. We poured drinks into our glasses once more ready for the next one.

"I just wanna thank y'all, for doin' this for me. And throwin' my wedding. It may not be the one I always dreamed of, but it's the wanna I wanna be at. You girls are my family." Maggie said thoughtfully looking at each of us smiling. We tilted our heads back filling ourselves with more liquid.

"Anyone else already feeling drunk?" Sasha asked giggling.

"When you get to my age all you need as a glass of wine and you're gone." Carol chuckled holding her head slightly. I was starting to feel lightheaded from all the sugar in my system I might as well have been doing shots of tequila.

"I wanna propose another toast." Maggie stood up easing into her drinks and feeling bolder.

"To Pol." Maggie held her glass which was once again full as the others also looked at me smiling.

"Why to me?" I chuckled.

"You went out of your way to plan your wedding, makin' sure I would have my dream day. You've been on all the runs, you've risked yer life for everyone in this room. Some of us wouldn't be here without ya. Couldn't have done this without ya." Maggie grinned at me as I blushed.

"To Pol!" Karen said as the others repeated and we took more shots of drinks. By this point the girls were drunk on tequila but I may as well have been drunk on coke, the effect the sugar was having on me, it loosened me up making me feel relaxed after the initial wave of nausea.

"Okay now on to more fun games." Karen smirked evilly at all of us as I refilled mine and Beth's shot glasses with coke.

"Let's play never have I ever." Karen grinned looking to each of us in the circle as some of us let out groans whilst others cheered slightly.

"Oh come on," Sasha shook her head.

"What are we teenagers?" Michonne raised her eyebrows at Karen.

"Scared Michonne?" Karen taunted her slightly as Michonne narrowed her gaze at Karen.

"Please." She scoffed.

"We'll start off easy, now for those of y'all who don't know how to play. Somebody says a statement beginning with never have I ever, and if that statement is true you have to take a shot and then explain your story. I'll start." Karen explained tapping the side of her shot glass.

"Never have I ever, killed a Walker." All of us chuckled and scoffed before downing the contents of our glasses. My vision was getting a bit hazy but I could feel the sugar electrifying my body, making me feel on edge.

"Okay I know that was easy, Beth its your go." Karen nudged the girl next to her.

"Never have I ever had a drink." Beth glanced at Maggie before downing her coke along with everyone else as my glass remained flat on the table.

"Bethy! When?" Maggie asked shocked as the other laughed.

"Tried some scotch from daddy's liquor cabinet when he weren't lookin' last summer." Beth shrugged smiling sweetly as we all applauded her laughing.

"I had my first drink at 14, at Tammy Harrison's sweet 16 party." Karen explained.

"Of course you did." I rolled my eyes laughing.

"I'm pretty sure we all had our first drink at a high school party." Michonne nodded agreeing.

"Pol, you've never?" Sasha looked surprised at my unemptied shot glass even in her drunken state causing the others to also look.

"Nope." I replied.

"Not one drink?" Karen clarified.

"Not a single one." I re-iterated.

"Personal choice." I explained not wanting to go into the story of my father and mother.

"And we respect that." Carol interjected before more questions could be thrown my way. I looked at her gratefully as she smiled.

"Okay my turn. Never have I ever, punched someone in public before this whole apocalypse went down." Carol said before downing her shot glass as some of us did the same.

"Woah Carol, who did you punch?" Karen asked.

"My husband Ed. Once." She said looking wistfully as Karen nodded.

"Maggie?" I looked at her empty glass.

"This bitch in college who was making eyes at my boyfriend at the time at a party." She said grinning.

"Yeah Maggie!" I whooped.

"Pol?" Michonne asked looking at my empty glass.

"This one's a world class boxer I'm sure she punched quite a few people." Karen giggled slurring her words slightly.

"Well does it count if it was an illegal amateur boxing fight underground where I won $4000?" I said quickly as some of their jaw drops.

"Girl, this story you have to tell." Sasha said.

"Okay I was at Stanford at the time, I had just started as a freshman and wanted to join a few clubs. There was a boxing club and I wanted to join because I always wanted to learn to defend myself." I started thinking back to all the times it would've been handy to be able to punch my father back and help my mum.

"Anyways I was signing up and since it's usually a male dominated sport it was quite intimidating, but I had already started to learn by myself. This guy came and saw how small I am and began mouthing off about how it wasn't a girl sport and there was no way someone of my size would ever be able to box." I rolled my eyes.

"Bet he regretted that." Maggie smiled as all of them were pulled into listening to my story.

"So I wanted to punch him right there and then but I thought I shouldn't cause trouble because I got in on scholarship. So I said lets settle this in a sparring match in the boxing gym at our college."

"He said, he had a better idea and gave me a time and location to meet him tonight." I explained.

"Ooh secret rendezvous." Karen grinned.

"Nothing about it was sexy Karen." I said pointedly to her.

"So I came with my boxing gear to this place and it was crazy. It was underground and dark filled with guys and girls just drinking and cheering around this dirt ring. This is where I was gonna fight this guy, in front of all these people." I stated.

"You must've been scared." Carol said surprised.

"Yeah I was, but when our fight started, turns out this guy had no idea how to box. He just thought he could use his size. But I landed a few punches before he got knocked down to the ground. And he had made a bet with his friends that if he won they would give him $4000 and if he didn't, it would come to me. So yeah." I shrugged finishing my story.

"God who knew you were such a badass." Sasha punched me on the arm.

"Excuse me?" I said mock-offended.

"She means we know you're a badass now, but like we thought you were a scientist and all so I didn't realise you did shit like that." Michonne clarified.

"Well what can I say." I smirked.

"Alright my turn! Something so everyone can have a drink. Never have I ever kissed a guy." Sasha said as everyone easily took a shot.

"Come on, a little harder please." Karen scoffed.

"I'll add to hers." Michonne said.

"Never have I ever kissed a guy from this group." She looked around at all of us as Beth, Karen, Sasha, Carol, Maggie and me took shots.

"Y'all know about me and Tyrese." Karen started as we nodded.

"And we know about Zach." I looked at Beth who blushed slightly.

"And God knows you and Glenn are always doing it." Sasha mocked Maggie.

"But Carol, do tell." Karen turned to face her, intrigued.

"Uh it was when Sophia went missing, she was my daughter and Daryl was making every effort to find her. I mean he was goin' out night and day to look for her, one time he brought me back a Cherokee Rose and well I kissed him." Carol shrugged the corners of her lips tugging upwards.

"On the mouth?" Michonne looked slightly disgusted as Karen looked amused.

"He let you?" Karen said at the same time.

"Oh God no! It was on the cheek!" Carol laughed as the rest of us joined in.

"Hey it might as well have been on the mouth if it's Daryl. But nice one Carol, if any of us had a chance with Daryl it would be you." I grinned at her as she blushed slightly.

"I don't like him like that. Really I don't!" Carol defended.

"Pay no attention to Pol she's just teasin'" Maggie narrowed her eyes playfully.

"Speaking of Pol, I think I can guess who it is." Karen eyed me with a smirk.

"Oh that's no secret I think we all know." Michonne gave me a wide smile.

"But if you'd like to do the honours." Karen gestured.

"Rick. You guys need to not enjoy this so much." I groaned covering my face as the others cheered.

"We're rootin' for you babe, how's he like in the sack?" Karen asked as Maggie punched her on the arm.

"Oh you mean, you haven't actually- with him?" Karen paid no attention.

"Well no." I said feeling flushed and not just from the sugar rush.

"Why the hell not? It's obvious, you two are so in love with each other." Karen asked.

"Hey Karen don't." Carol said warningly.

"Nah it's fine. Look there's never been the right time for anything to happen, I mean before he was with Lori and she just died a couple months ago. That was his wife of 10 years, and now he's got two kids to raise by himself." I explained.

"They absolutely adore you. You're already like a mother to them, Carl respects the hell out of you." Michonne stated.

"That's not the point." I defended.

"What is it then? You don't want to raise the kids?" Sasha asked.

"Look guys-" I stopped them from talking.

"I love Judith and Carl, I would love to raise them but its the timing, I haven't told him how I feel and I don't know if he feels the same. But I am gonna tell him tomorrow after your wedding." I said to Maggie as some of the group's faces lit up.

"You are?!" Karen squealed.

"Yeah." I chuckled.

"Well we're rootin' for ya." Maggie said as we all took more shots.

"My go." Beth smiled at the group.

"Never have I ever, fallen in love at first sight." I quickly lifted the shot glass and gulped down the coke and looked around seeing all the other glasses were also empty.

"Well I guess that ones pretty self explanatory." I looked at the other girls who had love-struck looks on their faces. Except for Michonne who was wistfully remembering something.

This went on for an hour before the night started to get a bit blurry.

"Well I think that's enough of never have I ever. Truth or dare." Maggie stood up smirking at all of us.

Soon the bottles of tequila were finished, half of the dares involved doing a strip tease, or doing our best rendition of a Whitney Houston song or even dancing on the tables. Some of the dares were to go kiss this guy from our group or that guy or go walk around with a shirt outside so whoever was on guard could see - Karen definitely volunteered for that one.

Soon, a couple of hours later, we were all relaxed sitting on the ground enjoying ourselves, tripping over our words, tripping over each other. I truly had never had this much fun with a group of girls ever in my entire life and it almost made me forget about our situation.

"Kiss, marry, kill. Because some of us are a bit young for the adult version." I looked at Beth who rolled her eyes at me.

"Okay but no one can be offended about their men whatever anyone chooses." I laid down the conditions as the others agreed,

"Hmm okay. Glenn, Rick, Daryl." Karen smirked slyly at the rest of us.

"Glenn - kiss, Rick - marry, Daryl - kill." I spat out quickly as some of the others gasped in surprise and laughed.

"Don't get me wrong I love Daryl, but if I tried to kiss him I think he would kill me first. And sorry Maggie but I do think Glenn would make a good kisser." I giggled.

"S'alright." She smiled.

"Come one Karen that was too easy. Your go." I rolled my eyes.

"Rick - kiss, because I would love to grab some of Sheriff Grimes' hair mhm hm," Karen said before looking at me.

"Hypothetically speaking." She cleared her throat when I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Marry Glenn but he's kinda taken." She smiled at Maggie.

"And kill Daryl. Although kiss Daryl first then kill him." Karen explained.

"You're kinda fucked up you know." I looked pointedly at Karen.

"Well thank you." She said easily making the others laugh.

We carried on until the bottles of tequila and coke were finished. Carol and Michonne had managed to stumble back to C-block because she didn't drink as much as the others and Michonne had a high tolerance anyways. Karen, Beth, Maggie and Sasha were passed out on the ground of the cafeteria. I wasn't drunk but from drinking all of the coke I was uneasy on my feet.

I stood up after covering the others with blankets and looked through the top window where the moonlight was shining through making everything look surreal. I slowly stood up and stumbled forward slightly before catching my hand on the corner of the cafeteria table which rusted off. I felt a stinging sensation and lifted my hand up to the light seeing red.

"Shit." I muttered. I inspected it, seeing it wasn't a deep cut, it just needed some bandages around it and it would heal.

I made it back to C-block but it was so dark I couldn't see the cells. Now if I remembered rightly, Carl's cell was next to mine and he was sleeping in mine. I stood holding one hand to cover the wound staring at the cell doors wondering which one was his. I went for the one on the left and pulled back the bedsheet used as a makeshift curtain, there was no light coming through at all so I was fumbling in the dark. I shrugged off my shoes kicking them to one side and pushed my hair away from my face glancing in the mirror.

"Damn." I looked at my reflection. My hair was a dishevelled mess and my clothes were creased and crumpled from our antics. I pushed the hair down on my head to try and make it seem less unruly. I found a cloth on the side and used it to bind the cut on my hand.

I managed to find the bottom bunk in Carl's cell and collapsed in it kicking my feet up. My eyes were already closing before my head even hit the pillow and I tried to get comfortable. Huh I don't remember his bed being that small, but that was the last thing I thought of before I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to the sunlight blaring through the white sheet covering Carl's cell. I must've forgotten to close it last night when I got to bed. I immediately placed my hand on my head rubbing it from the headache. So this must be what a hangover feels like. I groaned. I lifted my arm and smacked it to the side before hitting something hard behind me. What? The wall can't be that close.

"Oww!" I heard a voice next to me before I let out a yelp and fell out of bed onto the floor.

"Oh my God." I hit my head on the ground and sat up rubbing it violently, ready to confront whoever was in Carl's cell.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed seeing Rick sit up in the bunk.

"Pol?!" Rick rubbed his eyes sleepily and pushed his curly hair down just as surprised seeing me.

"What are you doing in my cell? Or Carl's cell I guess." I gasped sitting up on the ground. I tried to stand but felt weak and sat down again.

"What are you talking about, this is my cell!" Rick exclaimed.

"Wha-" I looked around the cell and sure enough I saw Rick's boots and clothes in one corner along with his gun on the table.

"Oh God." I covered my face horrified. I must've made my way into Rick's cell last night, it was so dark and I wasn't thinking clearly.

"What the hell are you doing here? And at 5 am?" Rick checked his watch before his tired eyes looked back at me.

"Carl was supposed to be in my cell with Judith and I was gonna take his cell but when I got here late last night I couldn't see the cells and my mind was like fuzzy. Wow I honestly don't remember much." I rubbed my head looking at the ground trying to think about what happened.

"Wait you got drunk?" Rick clarified.

"No I had a lot of coke. Sugar I think had a similar effect." I gripped the side of the table and stood up before feeling a wave of nausea. I stumbled slightly as Rick stood up and steadied my arms.

"Careful." He said.

"I don't feel good." I covered my mouth before emptying the contents of my stomach into his sink. Rick held the back of my head whilst I threw up.

"I'm good." I said wiping my mouth and sitting down on his bunk.

"You sure?" Rick took a few tentative steps towards me before kneeling down in front.

"Yeah. Wow what a crazy night." I looked out into his cell.

"Well it sounds fun." Rick chuckled.

"Too much fun." I chuckled rubbing my eyes.

"Oh God." I said in realisation making eye contact with him.

"I'm so sorry for sleeping here. I swear I didn't even know this was your cell! And now I've woken you up as well and ruined your sink." I put both hands on my face.

"Hey it's alright. Calm down." He smirked before nudging my knee. I peeked through my hands to look at him. Wow. How is it he looked so good? And then there's me throwing up in his sink.

"I'm a mess." I whispered.

"Nah, you're the most put-together person I know." Rick shrugged sitting next to me on the bed.

"Don't know a lot of stable people do you." I giggled as he smiled.

"I'm awake at this time anyways Pol, I'm on watch so it's fine." Rick said as he began putting on his boots.

"Are you sure? I didn't disrupt your sleep or anything?" I checked as he walked over to grab his rifle.

"I'm sure." He said definitively giving me a reassuring look.

"Now you look like hell." Rick looked at me.

"Gee thanks." I said sarcastically.

"So go on and go back to sleep, you can take my bed no one's gonna disturb ya, I won't even be here." He shrugged his jacket on walking towards the cell door.

"I assault you in your sleep and you're giving me your bed?" I said looking up at him.

"You're a true gentleman Grimes."

 **A/N: What did you guys think?**


	34. Chapter 34 - 10 Days Without Accident

**A/N: I know I know it's been a long long hiatus. I lost motivation and interest for this story but it's back! I saw how much support I got from you guys in your reviews and knew I couldn't abandon it! I just hope you guys are still with me. I will try, the key word is try to update once a week. And if I manage that then this story can get back into motion, bear in mind I'm writing another fanfic too.**

 **A quick recap. We last left off at Maggie's bachelorette party where pranks and drama ensued! Pol is also working up the courage to tell Rick how she feels, but she can't stop thinking about Lori. On top of all this, there's a wedding going on! I hope I do this justice. So grab a seat and get ready for the feels..**

 **Thanks for all the support I get for this story, including all the people who follow and favourite, there's a lot of you so bear with me: ladybug213, stacey40, RedFuryanDireWolf, tessbreanna, Color me cruel, hikarumarch, SegudAlfonso, RochiiI37, , Rachael Brown, Kylo Ren Emily Skywalker, Deadgirl103, lovelygirl24785, ShipWreckInTheSand, oh-ballena, MaidensTouchOfMadness, bribri1300 and DanieMarieBoo1999! Also thanks my lovely reviewers who motivated me to update again!**

 **Ryane: thank you so much! I missed your reviews NGL. And my exams did go well because I graduated with a 2.1 in my degree! I'm a graduate albeit an unemployed one xD**

 **purplepecky: I love your enthusiasm as always! Haha I know what you mean I want them together but for me it's all about the build. Meanwhile enjoy all the fluff, it is called a slow burn after all..**

 **Oh-ballena: I can't actually believe that you're so invested in my story! Like I personally think my writing is no good,but for you to say that means I can strive to be better. Thank you!**

 **Maddypaddy30: your comment is much appreciated, enjoy this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking dead or any of the characters or plot, I only own my OC and storyline.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

I woke up feeling groggy and checked my watch. 10 am. I sat up in bed before realising I wasn't in my cell. Oh. My eyes zeroed in on a pair of large old muddy black boots in front of the sink and the faint smell of vomit in the air. Rick's cell.

Suddenly I remembered the events of 5am this morning where I threw up all the sugar from the night before. Urgh, I sat up in my bed rubbing my head which was still pounding from my sugar hangover.

I kicked my legs down from the bed and shrugged my boots on. I glanced at myself in the mirror seeing my unruly hair and frowned. Not even caring what I looked like I stumbled out of the cell into the common area which was empty.

"Hello?" I called out as I was shushed. I followed the sound and looked up shielding my eyes from the blaring light of the sun.

"Lil asskicker's sleepin'" Daryl whispered putting a finger to his lips and pointing to the crib which was on the perch.

"Sorry," I said quietly.

"Where is everyone?" I asked him.

"Gettin' ready for the wedding." Daryl stated.

"Shit that reminds me. I need to give the bride and groom their clothes, the cooks need to prepare food for the lunch and dinner, decorating the cafeteria with the candles.." I listed off.

"Done." Daryl said.

"What do you mean?" I raised my eyebrows as Daryl came down the steps quietly.

"It's all done." Daryl shrugged.

"Rick got everyone up early, even some of the girls who were still hungover from last night, he got them to do everythin' you don't need to do anythin'." Daryl stood in front of me with his arms crossed.

"Really?" I couldn't help the smile that made it's way across my face and I felt the pangs in my heart. Rick did everything, he sorted it all out.

"Okay well thanks Daryl. I'll see ya later." I tapped him on the shoulder before leaving the cell block. I took the rubber band from my wrist and tied my hair up which was getting too long to keep out before I bumped into someone.

"Ooh sorry about that-"

"Hey Sasha!" I beamed loudly as she covered her ears.

"Not so loud." She hissed as I saw the bags under her eyes and her face was pale.

"Oh still hungover." I grinned.

"Yeah, so don't make fun. I know where you were last night." She pointed a finger at me smirking.

"What?"

"I walked past your cell this morning and saw Carl and Judith and then I saw you sleeping comfortably on Rick's bed. Care to tell me what happened?" She crossed her arms.

"Hey, it was completely innocent!" I defended rubbing my eyes.

"Oh so you accidently stumbled into Rick's cell last night and into his bed? Sure girl." She chuckled before walking back towards our cell block.

"It's the truth!" I shouted after her. I walked into the cafeteria where the smell of food being cooked wafted in from outside.

I walked outside and saw most of our camp awake and busy. Michonne was busy on the field teaching new members to fight with knives and how guns worked. On the other side, some were clearing the field where Rick was directing people.

On one side was a large grill where Carol and the others began making the feast for later on today.

"Hey Carol." I strolled over to her with a wide grin on my face.

"Hey you. You slept in." She gave me a sly look.

"Oh don't start." I shot her a look, watching the others who were in earshot.

"What? I was talking about your hair. It's gettin' messy." Carol left the grill and began touching strands of my hair.

"I usually never let it get this long." I pushed her mothering hands away.

"Remind me give you a cut later." She patted my head.

"Why?" I asked.

"Trust me you need it." She emphasised.

She put a plate of spaghetti Os in front of me as I turned my face up at it.

"Spaghetti again?" I groaned.

"You've become too spoilt." I heard a disapproving tone sit opposite me.

"Sorry Hershel not everyone's on board with Spaghetti Tuesdays always." I shot him a wicked grin as he smiled.

"It's funny. I forgot what it was like to starve." I watched in the distance at the life buzzing around the prison.

Sure it wasn't perfect. But we were in a facility that was reasonably secure. But we lost people. Andrea. Lori. I couldn't shake the guilt that went through me every time I thought about Rick. Lori was his wife, his actual life partner and here I was pining over him.

"That's a good thing Pol." Hershel stated.

"Look around. What do you see?" He asked.

"Cooking. Guarding the perimeter. Weapons training. Farming." I cracked a smile watching Rick frustratedly plant crops.

"I see the beginning of a new civilisation." Hershel said.

"A civilisation in this prison?" I checked disbelievingly.

"Now I know it's a long way off. But we all gotta start somewhere." Hershel said hopefully.

"Well I am glad that I have you at the start of this new civilisation." I joked earning a smile from him.

We ate the Spaghetti Os quickly before rushing to B block to check on the patients. After spending an hour with Dr S and Hershel chastising me for doing things wrong, I was with Carol cutting my hair.

"Can't you hold still?" Carol complained as I felt the thick scissors cut away with my hair.

"I am! Blame Judith." I grinned at the baby in my lap who was pulling and dribbling on my clothes.

"Blaming the baby, that's low." Carol tsked me.

"I'm not blaming you Judith am I?" I played with her feet as she made noises.

"Auntie Carol is just fussing isn't she?" I smiled at Judith who cooed.

"You better make me look like a supermodel." I demanded.

"I will give you nothing less." Carol said mockingly.

"Do you want it the same length as before?"

"No, keep it shoulder length this time." I thought for a minute. I think it was time for a new haircut, I was a different person, more confident so it was time to showcase that.

"It's been a while since I've been to a wedding. It'll be nice I think." Carol mused.

"First time I've ever been to one." I said quietly.

"Oh of course. You had a rough childhood I know." Carol realised sympathetically.

"Yeah you could call it that." I laughed incredulously.

"What are they like?" I turned my head to face Carol.

"Weddings? Oh they can be beautiful Pol. The venues are so elegant and decorated, the bride is always beautiful and the groom looks so happy. Food is always great too." Carol grinned.

"Well we may not have the best venue. But we got the best people and our bride and groom are very happy." I said smiling.

"That's true and maybe there's a chance for more than one couple to be happy." Carol raised an eyebrow before turning my head back around to finish cutting my hair.

"That would be something wouldn't it." I wondered hopefully.

"I just feel like I'm dishonouring Lori's memory." I said worriedly.

"No. I don't believe that." Carol said dismissively.

"I kissed Rick back on Hershel's farm when she was alive. I betrayed her trust then, how would it look if I told Rick my feelings now." I sighed.

"That man needs someone. His children need someone." Carol said firmly.

"Don't get me wrong I loved Lori. But thier marriage was already falling apart." Carol said.

"I love Judith and Carl, don't get me wrong I do. But I have no idea how to raise children. I have such a screwed up past that it would just end up fucking them up too." I looked at Judith who had nestled into my lap and her eyes were closing.

"don't you say that." Carol said sternly.

"You had a traumatic childhood. Then the damn apocalypse happened. I think you're handling it pretty well." She stated confidently.

"And I think Judith agrees." Carol peeked over my shoulder at the sleeping baby.

"As for Rick Grimes, losing a spouse is no easy experience. But I have no doubt that he likes you. So you kids need to get your shit in order and tell each other!" Carol exclaimed.

"There all done." She held the mirror in front of me as I looked at my newly cut hair which fell in waves.

"It's different." I said simply.

"And?" Carol prompted.

"And I like it." I smiled.

A dress. I was wearing a dress. I hated dresses. The concept of showing my legs just made me shudder. I looked at my bare legs which were toned from all the running and grueling exercise I had been doing to keep myself busy.

"Interesting." I looked at Michonne who was wearing a shirt.

"I hate it." I groaned looking at my appearance. it was a simple navy blue dress which flowed down to my knees, leaving the lower half of my legs exposed.

"Oh my you're wearing a shirt." I sniggered at Michonne who shot me a glare.

"Shut up."

"Do you have any tights to cover up?" I asked the warrior.

"Nope." Michonne stood her arms crossed over.

"Even if you had would you give it to me?"

"Nope."

"Thanks you're a real friend." I remarked.

It was such a mismatched outfit. But we couldn't be picky in the zombie apocalypse. I had my clunky black boots to match the dress, making me look odd. The only thing I approved of was Carol's hair cut job.

Karen had found some mascara. Old clunky mascara which would probably give us an eye infection. But we wore it anyway. I wanted to make an impression, on a certain someone. A certain someone I still wasn't sure I was going to tell. At least if I got rejected, I wanted to look good.

"Why aren't you wearing a dress?" I complained.

"There were no more." Michonne smiled mischievously.

"Come on they're startin' the ceremony soon." Michonne gestured.

Michonne and I left my cell, seeing how we appeared to be alone in C-block it meant everyone was ready for the ceremony we were holding in the courtyard.

"AH SHIT!" We both winced at the sound of the noise and looked upwards hearing a familiar voice.

"I got this. I'll meet you there." I nodded to Michonne who made her way out. I walked up the stairs to the second set of the cells and grinned as I heard more clattering sounds.

"Uh bride to be? You're about to be late for your own wedding!" I called out from in front of the cell.

"Quit yer yappin' and come help me!" The frustrated voice sounded out.

I walked in the cell apprehensively seeing Maggie struggle with zipping up the dress.

"Gained a few pounds?" I cocked an eyebrow at her as she glared at me through the mirror.

"Sorry, it's the closest size I could find." I apologised as I held the zipper together to close up the dress.

"Deep breath in Maggie." She inhaled as I follow zipped up the back of the dress, before exhaling.

"There." I smiled as she turned around.

"You look effortlessly beautiful." I complimented her as she rolled her eyes.

"Thanks it means a lot." She said genuinely.

"Wow I have never seen you in a dress!" Maggie exclaimed in wonder.

"Yeah don't get used to it." I chuckled.

"You look pretty though." She nudged me.

"You ready?" I asked her.

"I'm nervous." Maggie said as we walked out of her cell.

We made our way down the stairs and out of the dark shadows of C block. We walked in silence side by side down the corridors, just enjoying the atmosphere.

"Don't be nervous Maggie. You got this." I squeezed her hand.

"Thank y'all for doin' this. I mean that Pol." Maggie said earnestly as I smiled.

"Go on. Get in there Mrs Rhee."

We opened the doors to the cafeteria which were decorated in candles and flowers. We had lined chairs and benches for the guests to sit in the ceremony and they turned around when we entered. I quickly found my place beside Carl, Rick and Judith towards the front as Hershel led his daughter down the isle.

It was a beautiful sight, seeing the whole community sitting beside each other. I was watching the joining of my two good friends who promised to cherish and love each other.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today. In this fine prison-" Hershel began the official ceremony.

"Hey," Rick whispered down to my ear.

"Hey." I looked at him.

"Thank god you're not wearing that awful brown shirt." I sighed in relief seeing him in a dark blue one.

"What's wrong with my brown shirt?" Rick asked, his voice an octave higher.

"You wear it all the time." I defended.

"It's my favourite shirt." Rick exclaimed.

"You have zero fashion sense." I rolled my eyes.

"Says the girl wearing combat boots with a dress!"

"Shhh!" We turned beside us as Carol scolded us.

"You look nice though." Rick said a smile on his lips.

I shot him a grin which he returned as we turned out attention back to the ceremony.

"Do you Glenn take Maggie to be your wife? To love and cherish for all days? In sickness and in health?" Hershel asked the groom who couldn't take the smile off his face.

My heart swelled at the pure adoration on his face. Now there was a man who loved a woman. It was how I wished to be looked at. How any girl wants to be looked at.

"I do." Glenn said affirmative.

"And do you Maggie, promise to take Glenn to be your husband? In love and devotion? For better or for worse?" Hershel turned his attention to his daughter, as he teared up.

"I most certainly do." Maggie fought to keep the wide smile of her face.

"By the power invested in me, I name you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Hershel finished the ceremony.

Maggie grabbed the front of Glenn's shirt and pulled him towards her, kissing him as the ceremony erupted in cheers for the happy couple.

Later the wedding company had dispersed into a reception feast in the courtyard. Sasha and Karen claimed they had a special surprise for us but it would have to wait until after the food.

"I just wanna say thank y'all for coming and doing this for us, I couldn't have asked for a better group of people." Maggie spoke to us as he clapped her.

"But I wanna say a special thanks to a certain girl." Maggie's gaze fell on me as I blushed.

I could feel Rick and Carl's eyes on me as Judith fussed in my arms.

"Many of you know her as the one always pounding on that damn boxing bag." This earned Maggie a few chuckles from around the room.

"But the dedication and work she put in to plan this wedding is amazing. The decoration, the food, the clothes. Pol without you this wedding wouldn't have happened, Glenn and I will be eternally grateful." Maggie finished.

The rest of the prison applauded me. I felt honoured but embarrassed by the attention I was getting.

How worried me and Carol were that there wouldn't be enough food, enough beef, but it turned out to be more than enough with people even going back for seconds! The courtyard was lit with candles in glass jars, the ambience was so lively that we almost forgot about the flesh eating monsters outside of our gate.

"Everyone's got enough food here?" Carol came over to our little section.

"More than enough, my compliments to the chef." I winked at her as she smiled at me before walking off.

"I don't know how you pulled this off." Rick shook his head incredulously.

"Oh Grimes you should know by now to not underestimate me." I grinned at him.

Suddenly a melodic sound filled the air. It was faint to not attract outside noise but we in the courtyard could still hear it.

"Oh my God. Music, they're playing music out loud!" I looked around as the chatter became more excited. Couples were jumping up from their seats and clearing space. Space to dance.

The first on the dance floor where the happy couple, content in each others arms.

"I'm taking Judith to Daryl. Then I'm getting more food." Carl grinned at us before taking his leave with the baby.

"Wait I know that song!" I exclaimed humming the tune.

"La vie en rose. Edith Piaf." Rick mused.

"Wouldn't have thought it was your kind of music!" I looked at him in surprise.

"Oh come on everybody knows this." The corners of his lips upturned.

"I always thought this song was the perfect song to dance to." I mused out loud hoping Rick would get the hint.

"It is. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't ask you to-"

"Rick Grimes! Dance with me now." Carol commanded her friend. Rick looked at me helplessly.

"Go on." I smiled at him.

"Are you sure?" His blue eyes looked into my brown ones.

"Yeah go! Have fun. Don't break him Carol." I said nonchalantly as Carol dragged him off.

I looked around seeing most couples slow dancing together to the song. So close. I sighed watching Rick dance with Carol. It's not like I was jealous of Carol, she was my friend. I was jealous that I had almost got the opportunity to dance with Rick. But the wedding was fun, the company enjoyable.

"What are you doing sitting here by yourself? Up now!" I looked up at Sasha who had her arms on her hips.

"Yes ma'am." I saluted her as she gripped my hand dragging me into the centre of the courtyard.

"May I have this dance?" I looked at Sasha who was jokingly smiling.

"How could I refuse such an offer?" I laughed.

And so I danced with Sasha as we joked and giggled at the reactions of everyone else. I looked around for the one person I wanted to see. But he was gone.

"Have you seen Rick?" I asked her as we stopped swaying to the music.

"He left a little while ago I think." Sasha scanned the courtyard.

"Oh." My face fell. He promised me a dance, so why did he leave so early?

"You should go find him." She hinted.

"I could." I bit my lip nervously.

"You should." She corrected.

"I will." I said confidently.

"Atta girl. Let me know how it goes." She winked before walking towards Tyrese and Karen.

"Pol." I turned around to find Glenn with an arm outstretched.

I smiled at Glenn taking his hand and swaying around the courtyard with him.

"This wedding wouldn't have happened without you. It means a lot to us." Glenn said seriously.

"Well technically it wouldn't have happened without you." I shot back.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"If you hadn't found a dumbass in a tank, then that dumbass wouldn't have saved the helpless girl from the walkers and met you on the roof." I explained as Glenn's mouth formed a grin.

"True. So really I should thank myself." Glenn smirked.

"Oh so humble." I mocked.

"You and Maggie do make a great pair. She is however severely out of your league." I said dramatically.

"I know." Glenn looked over to where his wife was dancing with Hershel.

"I was kidding Glenn."I joked.

"Hurt her and I'll kill you." I said seriously as Glenn looked mortified.

"But I love you." I said sweetly.

"don't worry I'm not smart enough to do that." Glenn said reassuringly.

A number of dances took place, the details of which I won't bore you with.I left the ceremony quickly, ignoring the protects from Carol and the others back to C block. But there was no one there.

Not bothering to change out of my dress, turns out I didn't mind it so much especially since someone complimented me in it.

I picked up the rifle from my cell and walked towards the tower. I squinted upwards into the darkness and sure enough there was an outline of a dark figure. That had to be him. I unlocked the heavy door and ran my way up to the top seeing Rick leaning over the edge.

"Pol. If I had to guess." He said in the darkness, amusement laced in his voice.

"Perceptive." I joined him against the railing.

"Whatcha doing out here?" I asked feeling the wind against my face.

"Keepin' watch. You?" Rick asked.

"Looking for you." I said as Rick faced me looking confused.

"You promised me a dance, mister." I pointed an accusing finger at him. Rick's eyes widened in realisation.

"Damn it I can't believe I forgot. I'm so sorry." Rick said genuinely, rubbing a hand on his chin.

"Nah don't worry about it." I shrugged.

"So why are you looking for me?" He changed the question.

"Hold on I'm working up the courage to it." I chuckled feeling all too scared and nervous. Facing the Governor off and fighting the walkers was a lot easier than this!

"Rick, I'm in love with you." I said holding my breath. Rick whipped his head around in shock.

"What?"

"I'm in love with you. I just I can't help it and I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I love you." I smiled slightly.

"You do?" Rick asked shocked.

"Yeah. I do."

"Oh." Rick said dumbfounded as my face fell into a frown.

"Oh?" I asked in a whisper, an unsettling feeling coming over me.

"Have you got nothing else to say?" I asked. Maybe I was reading the vibes wrong between us, maybe it was unrequited.

"I mean I like you too Pol." Rick said thoughtfully.

"Like." I repeated.

"But it's just, it's not the best time. Lori passed not to long ago and everything with the Governor." Rick defended.

"Okay I get it." I picked the rifle not looking at Rick, not letting him see the tears prickling in my eyes.

"Pol," Rick said sympathetically as he caught my wrist with his fingers.

"Don't." I grounded out with my teeth. He released my wrist as I ran down the steps.

I walked briskly away from the tower, trying to get away from him. I wanted to be miles away from Rick Grimes at the moment. I was wrong. So wrong to think he felt even remotely the same.

The courtyard no longer held the charm of the wedding, the corridors no longer felt like hope. It was just cold grey steel and brick. Brick and steel.

I entered C block to find it empty, save for Daryl who was up in his perch.

"Pol." He said gruffly and noted my tears stained face. I walked up the stairs silently and sat beside him.

"You alright?" Daryl shifted uncomfortably.

"No." I replied simply.

"What happened?" Daryl probed. It wasn't his strong suit, comforting women. But I didn't need to say anything, he knew. He just knew.

We sat in silence for the rest of the night. Pondering on the events to come.

 **A/N: aww poor Pol! Rick why are you so emotionally unhinged? I feel like this is more of a realistic reaction for him, as opposed to him professing his love for her. I mean his Rick, it'll take him take to process his feelings and get over Lori. Next chapter is season 4!**


	35. Chapter 35 - 30 Days Without Accident

**A/N: got a long chapter for you guys! Not a lot of Rick/Pol unfortunately but it has her interactions with the other characters which is interesting! This one follows season 4 episode 1 fairly closely and just shows where werew at with feelings and meotions. Just a small side note: WHO HAS WATCHED THE NEW EPISODE OF TWD? I WAS BAWLING. I mean we knew it was coming but I still couldn't take it. I'd love to hear you guys thoughts on this.**

 **Thanks to all the readers who fave and follow! Ms. Lady wolf, 3, 301, marssierra117! And to my lovely reviewers without whom I would not be updating!**

 **Kylo Den Emily Skywalker: Thank you! I'm glad you're still with me :) I thought I abandoned this story, but the new season inspired me.**

 **Ryane: haha I'm glad my story occupies your brain space ;). And yeah you basically explained my exact reason for having Rick reject her despite his own feelings. Our boy Rick is s lil confused. It'll take him a while but he'll get there.**

 **I remember I used to have a few more regular reviewers when I updated a lot. Where have y'all gone? People like frosiedog and purplepecky, I miss you guys!**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

"Hey Carl, where you going?" I was lacing up my boots, waking up early for once when I spotted the younger Grimes' attempt to sneak out.

"I'm lookin' for my dad. And I'm gonna go check on Violet." He grinned sheepishly.

"Oh no. You named the pig?" I asked cracking a smile.

"Yeah."

"You know we're gonna eat it at some point right?" I checked.

"Yeah I know." Carl shrugged.

"I don't know if I can stomach breakfast after that deer last night. It was good." I patted my belly. It was literally the first huge meal we had since Maggie and Glenn's wedding, and we all enjoyed it, courtesy of Daryl.

"Yeah I never thought I'd be happy to say I ate deer." Carl chuckled but I could see he was impatient to go.

"Alright you go on. Tell your dad if he keeps getting up early I'm gonna start calling him Farmer Rick." I called out as Carl left the front of my cell.

"Will do!"

I stood up and brushed my hair back. It wasn't long enough to tie up so I tied it half back out of my face. So yeah, I was friendly with Rick. Shocking considering the events of the wedding, when he not so subtly rejected me.

But that was almost three weeks ago, and in this day and age there was no point living life ignoring and hating on people. I vowed to keep my feelings to myself, and to just stay friends with him. No matter how much it hurt, because I would rather have him in my life some way or another.

That definitely didn't stop Rick's pity looks when he thought I wasn't looking. And whilst we were back to being friends, I spent less time alone with him, then I had previously.

"Hey Beth. You good?" I looked at the blonde haired girl who was rocking Judith up the stairs.

"Mornin' Pol, you should get some breakfast. It's good." She smiled brightly as she sang to the baby.

"Who made it?"

"Carol." Beth replied.

"Better get going then before Daryl finishes it!" I raced out of C-block and into the courtyard. We had made a small canopy area which had tables and a grill.

A few people were already sitting and eating who smiled at me as I made my way over to Carol. The sun was shining brightly and the Georgia heat was definitely getting to us all.

"Morning." I smiled at Carol busy cutting and cooking meat.

"Hey Pol." Carol smiled.

"I still can't get over the fact we have so many people living with us. Even after a month. It feels nice, like our own little community." I looked around at all the familiar faces whom I had gotten to know and become friendly with.

"I think that was the point." Carol eyes were fixed behind me.

"What's up Dr S?" Daryl's gruff voice came into earshot as he came to stand beside me.

There were different chorus shouts of people greeting Daryl as Carol and I grinned at each other.

"Smells good." Daryl ignored our pointed stares and began filling up his plate.

"Just so you know," Carol started.

"We liked you first." I finished with a smile.

"Stop." Daryl said to our teasing.

"You know, Rick and Pol brought in a lot of them too." Daryl stated pointedly.

"Yeah I know. Don't worry they like me too." I said turning around to face the people sitting at the table.

"Hey guys!" I called out to them.

There were various shouts of greeting directed towards me as I raised my eyebrow.

"See." I said pointedly to Daryl.

"Giving the strangers sanctuary, keeping people fed, you're gonna have to learn to live with the love." Carol continued her teasing.

"Right." Daryl shook his head disbelievingly.

"Please let Carol give you a haircut." I looked up at his ridiculously long hair which was beginning to cover his eyes.

Daryl pushed my fussing hands away from him in annoyance. I took a plate and filled it with the deer meat that tasted so good. But I knew it was gonna run out eventually.

"What's wrong with my hair?" Daryl asked defensively.

"Nothin' Pol's just teasing." Carol fixed me with a motherly look as I smiled impishly.

"But you need to take a shower." Carol emphasised.

"Oh please! Your hair looks permanently greasy." I winced looking at the bird nest on his head.

"I do shower!" Daryl said defensively.

"With shampoo. We found some on the last run please use it." I pleaded with Daryl who grunted and shoved me.

"I need you guys to see something." Carol's face turned seriously.

"Patrick you wanna take over?" Carol asked the young guy who came over enthusiastically.

"Yes ma'am." He smiled coming over.

Carol began leading us away from the grill where Patrick came running to talk to Daryl.

"Uh Mr Dixon, I just wanted to thank you for bringing that deer back yesterday." Patrick said nervously.

"Mr Dixon." I mouthed to Carol who suppressed a smile.

"It was a real treat sir and I'd be honoured to shake your hand." Patrick finished with a smile and his hand held out.

"Sir." I sniggered behind Daryl who elbowed me harshly in the ribs.

"Hey ow!" I whined as Patrick looked at me confused.

Daryl looked helplessly between us but I shrugged smirking at him. With a deep sigh he licked all of his fingers and shook Patrick's hand, who looked awestruck.

Me and Carol walked away giggling as the hunter followed behind us.

"Mr Dixon will you autograph my face?" I said mockingly causing Carol to laugh outright.

"Shut up." Daryl barked from behind us.

Carol led us around the courtyard to the back of the buildings, where we kept our stores.

"About today, I don't think we're gonna be able to spare a lot of people for the run." Carol started.

"That place is good to go. We're gonna move on it." Daryl said.

"Yeah, thing is we had a pretty big build up overnight."

Carol led us to the barbed wire barrier which separated the courtyard from the field.

Beyond the field were the inner and outer walls with the wooden stakes reinforced. I could just make our Karen and David killing the snarling, snapping mass of Walkers along with the other Woodbury residents. But the walkers banged and gnashed in concentrated areas, that the walls were shaking.

"That's a problem." I looked worriedly as the wall was ready to give way.

"There's at least dozens more towards tower three." I pointed out.

"It's getting as bad as last month, they don't spread out any more." Carol placed her hands on her hips, facing Daryl.

"With more of us sittin' here we're drawing more of them out. You get enough of them damn fence clingers and they start to herd up." Daryl made a valid point.

"It's manageable once we get ahead of it, but not for long." Carol's words hung in the air as a feeling of dread washed over me.

We had one whole month of nobody dying or getting hurt, of course it wouldn't last. And then there was the Governor, constantly on the back of our minds and still out there somewhere.

"Sorry Pookie." Carol gave him a wry smile.

Daryl bumped her elbow forwards before walking away. I started sniggering as soon as Daryl left, not wanting to be the recieving end of his harsh bumps.

"Pookie?" I gasped through laughter.

"Yep, and remember I'm the only one who can call him that." Carol winked before we followed him.

...

I walked back to my cell to gather my weapons and supplies. I put the colt into my holster and grabbed my rifle as well as my water bottle to put inside the empty large rucksack.

I walked out of the cell before a hand grazed my wrist.

"Pol, hey." Rick smiled briefly.

"Hi Rick." I smiled.

"You sure you wanna come on this run?" He asked.

"Your short-handed I need to. Plus I haven't driven my car in so long." I grinned. My poor BMW was probably collecting dust in the garage.

"Fair enough." Rick laughed.

"Just hold up I got something for you." Rick paused before walking inside his cell.

For me? What would he get for me? Come one girl don't go getting your hopes up. I calmed myself down.

He emerged a minute later holding a brown leather jacket in his hand.

"No way. You found it!" I ran and took the material from him.

"Yeah got it yesterday, figured I still owed ya." Rick smirked in amusement.

"Now I'm ready for this run. Let's go." I gestured to the man who followed me out of C block.

We met the others who were loading up supplies in different vehicles. Daryl and Zack were loading up a pickup truck, Sasha and Tyrese were filling supplies in another car.

I saw my BMW standing there in the sun and ran over to hug the metal body.

"You know some people would say you've got a weird intimate relationship with that car." Glenn walked past me.

"This car brought me back to you guys. It's lucky." I defended.

"I'm sure." Rick chuckled loading oil tanks and more empty bags into the back of my car.

A sharp whistle came from the gate as Rick and Carl ran down there. Michonne must be back.

"Hey Bob you're coming too?" I asked the man getting into Sasha's car.

"He convinced me." She said with a faint smile on her lips.

"Yeah, wanted to earn my keep." Bob replied.

"Well good on you." I smiled at the man who waved back at me.

Our three cars plus Daryl's motorbike were loaded up. I got in my car and felt the interior putting Rick's aviators on.

We started our cars and drove down to the front gate where Michonne was standing with Rick and Carl. I rolled my window down and came up alongside them.

"Well look who's back." Daryl said with a slight smile.

"So you decided to show up huh. I'd given you up for dead." I joked at Michonne, as Rick and Carl cracked smiles.

"I guess you don't want these then." Michonne held three books on her hands.

I gasped in delight and held out my arm from the window.

"Give!" I called out.

"You know I love you Michonne." I smiled and blew a kiss to her. Michonne rolled her eyes but walked over nonetheless handing the books to me.

"Thank you." I smiled sheepishly at her.

"Yeah yeah your welcome." She smirked.

"I didn't find him." Michonne said seriously as the rest of us frowned.

At least when he was back in Woodbury we knew where he was, but now he was out there alone and disempowered - it made him more dangerous.

"Glad to see you in one piece though." Rick said.

"I'm thinking of checking near Macon. It's worth it." Michonne said not giving up.

I gave Rick a look which didn't go unnoticed by Michonne.

"70 miles of Walkers. You might run into a few unneighbourly types." Daryl suggested.

"Is it?" I asked Michonne who gave me an intense stare before turning away.

"I'm gonna go check out the big spot. The one I was talking about - just seein'" Daryl informed Rick.

"You should come with." I called out hopefully to Rick.

"Yeah, but I gotta go out and check the snares." Rick backed away.

"Are those my sunglasses?" He put his hands on his hips and squinted at me through the sun.

"Uh no?" I offered as Michonne and Daryl gave each other amused looks.

"You know what, why don't you just have 'em." Rick sighed.

"Really?" I grinned.

"Yeah, you wear 'em most of the time anyways." Rick chuckled.

"Thanks Grimes!" I smiled.

"I knew I'd wear you down." This earned a few chuckles from the cars around us.

"I don't wanna lose whatever we caught to the Walkers." Rick defended to Daryl.

"You sure man?" Daryl asked as Rick nodded.

He was no longer interested in going out on runs as much, but was much more focused on growing food and the building of the community - Hershel convinced him of that. He stepped down a little. We also formed a council which Carol begged me to be a part of, but I was better doing the work as opposed to making decisions.

"I'll go." Michonne said decidedly.

"Get in." I opened the car door for her as she came into the front seat of the BMW.

"You just got here." Carl whined.

"And I'll be back." She smiled, placing her katana off her shoulders in the back.

Daryl started his motorbike as Rick ran down to open the gate.

"Be safe y'all." Rick tapped the rolled down window of my car.

"You too." I said seriously.

"Please take your gun out with you when you're outside the fence." I pleaded with Rick who gave me a pointed look.

"Yeah I know you got your knife. But the council wanted me to talk to you. Something about the fact you listen to me. I told them they were crazy." I smirked as Rick also cracked a smile.

"Yeah okay." Rick relented.

"You'll take your gun?"

"Yes. I will take my gun." Rick rolled his eyes.

"Great! We'll be back before you know it! And when I come back I'm burning that brown shirt."

We parked the cars outside a fenced off area with a large brown warehouse building inside it. Hopefully, just hopefully it would have more food and supplies which we needed.

"This looks cheerful." I whistled at the large barbed wire fence.

"Army did this. Made it a place for the people to go." Daryl stated.

"When me and Daryl came here last week, there were a whole bunch of Walkers behind this chain link, keeping people out." I said to the group.

"So where the hell did they go?" Tyrese asked.

"They just left?" Bob asked holding the rifle uneasily.

I looked back at Zack who appeared to be nervous. I walked back towards him giving him a smile.

"Zack, how you doing buddy?" I gave him a clap on the back.

"I'm alright." He shrugged.

"Look, this is just a simple run. We get in, we go out. Done it a million times before, stick with me." I gave him a reassuring smile as he nodded.

"We put a boom box out there three days ago. Drew them out." Sasha explained, as the faint sound of music wafted the air.

"Hooked it up to two car batteries." Glenn smirked.

"That was my boom box." I glared at them.

"Priorities Polaris." Sasha smiled, using my full name knowing how it irked me.

"Come on, let's make a sweep. Make sure its safe." Daryl led our group through the cut in the chain link.

True to my word I stuck by Zack, who had nervous energy radiating off him. I watched his finger hovering over the trigger of the rifle.

"Hey," I gently pushed his finger away from the trigger to hold the butt of the gun.

"Okay?" I checked as Zack nodded with a faint smile.

There were camouflage tents set up outside the warehouse, probably as an old triage centre. We glanced inside the smell rife with dead Walkers, body parts and blood. We walked past empty crates and abandoned jeeps until we reached the front of the store area.

Daryl knocked loudly on the glass windows as he held the crossbow, leaning against the wall.

"Okay I think I got it." Zack smirked slightly.

"Got what?" Michonne came around the corner from her sweep.

"Oh, I've been trying to guess what Daryl did before the turn." Zack explained.

"You may as well give up now on that front." I chuckled, as Daryl appeared disinterested.

"He's been trying to guess for like 6 weeks." Daryl scoffed.

"I'm pacing myself. One shot a day." Zack said more confidently as he sat beside the archer.

"All right, shoot." Daryl relented, turning to face him. No matter how much he hated to admit it, he had a soft spot for Zack. Because of Beth.

"Well the way you are at the prison. With you being on the council, you're able to track. You're helping people but you're still being kinda surly." Zack explained as I laughed.

"Kinda surly is Daryl's MO." I grinned at Michonne who smiled.

"Homicide cop." Zack pumped his fist in the air as me and Michonne burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Daryl asked us offended.

"No nothing." Michonne laughed.

"Yeah it makes perfect sense." I piped in.

"Well the man's right." Daryl nodded as I shook my head at him disbelievingly.

"Undercover."

"Come on really?" Zack asked half smiling.

"Yep. I don't like to talk about it because it was a lot of heavy shit you know." Daryl couldn't help but smirk at us.

"Dude, come on really?" Zack asked as his face fell.

"Ok. I'll just keep guessing." Zack said determined.

"You can try, but I've known him for a few years and I still don't know." I shrugged.

A Walker slammed against the glass suddenly but Daryl didn't even flinch at the sound.

"You wanna do this?" Daryl got up walking towards the store doors.

"Sure let's go detective." Michonne mocked.

We opened the doors and killed the one Walker that made it's way into the store front. Bob kept guard out front as we entered the dark store. There were sounds of distant snarls but it sounded far away.

We grabbed shopping carts and split up, trying to find as many supplies as possible. I took the torch and shone it in front of us as Zack pushed the cart. I kept my knife out, the gun would be no use here, it would only attract more noise and as far as we knew there was only entrance and exit to the warehouse.

"What are we lookin' for?" Zack asked.

"Non-perishables." I replied as walked past shelves of electronic equipment. Televisions, laptops, blenders, things which would be no use to us now.

We reached an isle of canned goods.

"Like this. Bingo." I smiled.

We began filling up the shopping cart with the cans when suddenly there was a loud crash. The sounds of bottles smashing and shelves collapsing made a sound like an atom bomb. I inwardly ground, we just needed an ounce of good luck.

Zack immediately had his rifle aimed into the darkness as I took out my knife, shining the torch around us.

"Stay here a minute." I told Zack as I walked around the shelves seeing the collapsed shelf.

"Daryl! Jeez you scared me." I whisper shouted at him.

We both bent down as there were broken bottles of alcohol and liquid scattered across the ground. Beneath the shelf was Bob.

"You alright Bob?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm not cut my foot is caught or something." He said. Zack came around with the shopping cart as well as Tyrese.

"What happened?" Glenn's voice sounded out from far away.

"Help me with this." Daryl said as the four of us lifted the shelf back up to the upright position.

"It's alright we're over by Wine and Beer!" Zack replied to him.

"What happened?" I bent down by Bob who was lying on the ground.

"I was moving fast man, I dove right into the shelf!" Bob said, but his story had made no sense. He shouldn't have been anywhere near the alcohol, I looked at him disbelievingly.

"Well you lucked out man. If this had fallen on you the wrong way." Tyrese trailed off.

Just as we had made our way to help him out the ceiling collapsed and a Walker swung down, hanging in the air by his intestines caught on panelling and his insides splattering on the ground.

"Yeah we should probably go now." Glenn gulped.

"Bob's still stuck." Daryl said.

"Come on, let's get him outta here." I eyed the Walker as I began removing the other items on Bob which had made him stuck.

"We'll get the others." Michonne said pulling out her katana.

Suddenly Walkers began raining down on the shop, falling through the ceiling all around us. The snarling and biting sounds filled the warehouse and the ground was coloured crimson by the blood. Daryl's arms looped around my shoulders dragging me back from Bob as Walkers narrowly missed us.

"Bob!" I protested.

"We'll get him, stay back." He helped me up as we moved away from the collapsing ceiling.

The group was scattered as more Walkers kept falling through, up immediately.

I pulled out my colt and began shooting them as Daryl fired his arrows. I looked around to find Michonne hacking at the Walkers with precision when one came up behind her. I aimed the gun for the Walker and shot it in the head.

Michonne nodded her thanks as we continued running to get away from them.

"Hey!" Bob shouted his attention.

"Where's Zack?" I asked Daryl who shouted back.

"I dunno! Haven't seen him." Daryl jumped on top of the boxes of alcohol and looked up to the large collapsing hole in the warehouse. I pulled out my machete and sliced the Walkers trying to get to him. Glenn came running into the fray as back up and began shooting the creatures.

There was a groaning sound as we looked up, the nose of something big was creaking it's way down through the hole, ready for the whole warehouse to be destroyed.

"Daryl, let's go!" I called out to him, as he jumped down from the boxes and as far away from the hole as possible.

Daryl and Glenn approached Bob, as a limbless Walkers was crawling it's way to him. I was shoved hard down onto the ground, face first as I felt wetness on my face.

I turned around and above me was a particularly heavy Walker, had me pinned. I wrestled with the disgusting creature, it's jaws snapping at my face, when I heard a large gunshot. With the help of another pair of arms, the unmoving body was pushed off me and Zack's hands helped me up.

"Thanks kid." I smiled widely at him as he nodded.

We ran over to left the other shelf from Bob with the help of Daryl and got him out. The building started coming down above us. I snapped my head around hearing Zack's scream. A Walker hand had grabbed his calf and bit into it, the blood and flesh hanging off.

"Zack!" I shouted as I began moving towards him. Daryl held my arm back and shook his head. We watched helplessly as Zack was dragged by a Walker. It crawled over him and ripped into his flesh.

"Go, go, go!" Daryl shouted as the entire warehouse collapsed and we ran out of the store, heaving and panting. We got out of the facility and to our cars.

"I didn't load the cans from the shopping cart." I groaned, looking back sadly into the warehouse.

"Zack was helping me." My voice wavered as Sasha placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, we found enough to last us." Glenn said reassuringly as they loaded the supplies into the back of the cars.

"I told him to stick with me." I said wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Who's gonna tell Beth?" I gasped.

"I'll take care of that. Hey." Daryl said as kind as he could.

"He saved me." My voice cracked as Daryl pulled me in to his chest giving me a hug before releasing me.

"Come on, let's go home."

...

We parked our cars in the garage, feeling defeated and at a loss. It had been 30 days since we had lost anyone. Andrea. But now because I took my eye of Zack, he was dead. And poor sweet Beth would be unhappy.

"I don't want to talk about it Rick." I shook my head as I saw him approach me.

"And I ain't askin' you to. But I'm here, if you do." I could just make out his silhouette in the dark. His fingers caught my wrist, leaving my skin electrified.

"Thanks." I grounded out, pulling away from his touch.

I know he was trying to be my friend after rejecting my feelings for him. But sometimes I couldn't take the distance that wormed it's way between us. I just wanted to be close to him. To be held by someone I loved. But beggars can't be choosers.

I walked back to my cell tired and sat on the bed, throwing the rifle down on the ground, with my head in my hands. I felt someone walk into the cell, their boots making echoed sounds as they sat on the bed beside me.

"I don't want to talk about it." My voice wavered as I tried to keep it steady.

"Neither do I." I looked up to see Daryl leaning against the wall on my bed.

I sat against the wall beside him in silence as I took his hand, he didn't brush me off as we just sat there.

"How did Beth take it." I asked the dreaded question.

"Like a badass." Daryl replied.

"I'm tired of losin' people." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Me too."

 **A/N: let me know what you think of that chapter guys! I'm working now so my updates will be weekly as opposed to bi-wekly.**


	36. Chapter 36 - Losses Incurred

**A/N: Another chapter written for you lovely fans! Who watched TWD this week? It felt a little empty NGL but I guess we'll have to get used to it. Sorry this chapter is a bit rubbish, not proud of the quality of it but it does have action in it relevant to the season 4 stodyline!**

 **Thanks to all the people who favourite and follow! LittleMissMikaelson1, mercenary2.0, pandasninjasndkiwis, AquaRoseWater, Priestess Luna, Miss Cassandra. Also to my lovely reviewers who motivate me to write these chapters!**

 **Ryane: I know stupid kids! With their sexual tension and feelings they won't admit and sort out! But that's the nature of the slow burn. Ahh interesting prediction but you are wrong... I have a place in my mind it'll happen and it's not then!**

 **Purplepecky: I miss your enthusiasm! I'm so glad you reviewed and that you're still reading! I'm still working out what should happen next myself lol but we shall see! Ah well in regards to Negan I'm sending this story towards the end of season 6 because I think it's a good place to stop and I can't bear all the deaths that come after it!**

 **Kylo Ren Emily Skywalker: oh I know me too! What did you think of this episode? I think they did well considering you know. But it felt a bit empty. Thank you enjoy this one!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the walking dead etc. Only my north star.**

An alarm clock ringing faintly from another cell snapped me out of my half sleep. I groaned and tried to pull the covers back over my head from the bright sunlight coming through the sheet.

Moving around on the bed I stretched my leg out kicking something hard. I cracked an eye open to find Daryl still sitting, slumped against the wall with his head bent forward. He was snoring.

I kicked him a little more forcefully on his arm as his head snapped up immediately and his eyes opened.

"Daryl," I whispered.

"Huh? Pol?" He asked rubbing his eyes.

"What are you doing in my cell?" He asked tiredly as I rolled my eyes.

"This is my cell genius. You must have fallen asleep." I smirked at him.

I could hear the slow movements of a pair of boots outside pacing the cell block. I pushed myself out of bed and began lacing up my boots. I patted my hair down and peeked a head out of the sheet hanging from my door seeing Rick and Judith.

"Hey." I whispered quietly.

"Hi." Rick turned around and smiled slightly bouncing Judith in his arms.

"It's 6am." I deadpanned checking my watch.

"Yeah." Rick said raising his eyebrows.

"Early." I emphasised.

"Farm life starts early." He smirked as Carl stumbled out of his cell.

"Hey Pol." He smiled tiredly.

"Why are you awake?" I asked his crossing my arms over.

"To help dad." He rubbed his eyes.

"Why don't I help you? And Carl can go back to sleep." I suggested.

"No I'm fine I'm up." Carl blinked trying to focus on his surroundings.

"Go to sleep kid." I rubbed his hair as he walked back into his cell and I could hear a thump.

"You sure?" Rick asked as Beth walked down the stairs to take Judith from Rick. I stopped her and bent down to kiss Judith's forehead.

"I'm never one to shy away from hard work."

Rick's smile disappeared as he glanced behind me and it was replaced by a frown.

"Daryl." He nodded stiffly at the archer.

Oh Daryl. Couldn't you have stayed in the cell just a little while longer!

"Hey man." Daryl tiredly waved a hand at Rick before slumping up the stairs to his perch. Daryl was out like a light and his snoring echoed in the cell block once more.

"So shall we go?" I asked trying to diffuse the palpable tension.

"Yeah." Rick's mind was elsewhere.

"Let me just get my gun." I turned around to go back into cell.

"You won't need it." Rick's hand stopped me as he began walking out of C-block.

"Beth I got music in my cell if she gets irritated." I whispered to the girl who smiled.

I jogged after Rick out of the cell block and through the cafeteria, until we reached the courtyard. We walked through the fences out into the field where the crops were.

There was an uncomfortable silence between us as we stepped outside into the morning light. I looked up to the guard towers which were empty. Glenn and Maggie must have fallen asleep.

There were a cluster of walkers banging against a region in the outer fence which was bending over quite furiously.

We walked over to a fenced off patch of dirt where there were plants growing. Rick wordlessly handed me a bucket to hold as he put thick gardening gloves on.

He began pulling crops from the soil and placing them inside the bucket. There were potatoes and cucumbers growing, some of them had gotten rotten but the vast majority where edible. Due to Rick's hard work we had a growing food source.

"Daryl just fell asleep in my cell last night. We were talking." I said feeling the need to defend my actions.

"What you and Daryl do in your own time is none of my business." Rick said easily.

"If you think me and Daryl would sleep together then you don't know me at all." I said defensively as Rick glanced up at me.

"I never said that." He stated.

"No but the judgement is clear in your eyes." I pointed out, Rick had the decency to look down.

We continued in the silence for a while until it was becoming unbearable.

"You know what Rick, you have no right to judge me. None. I opened my feelings up to you that night and you rejected me. That's fine I'm over that. But just to make it clear I can sleep with whoever the hell I want!" I finished dropping the bucket and storming off.

"Wait!" Rick shouted after me.

"Enjoy the farm life Grimes!"

...

It had been an hour later and I was still on the boxing bag, releasing my anger and frustration all over it. My fists were beginning to hurt from constantly hitting it. But I didn't care.

I was too busy imagining Rick's face. Karen walked past me and stopped with her eyebrows raised.

"I'm not in the mood." I snarked.

Karen picked up the gloves and tossed them to me before walking off. I paused my boxing and wrapped the gloves on, to hit the bag once more.

Out of breath I paused, to catch feeling in my lungs once more. He frustrated me so much, first he acted like he liked me. Then he rejected me and now he judged me because Daryl spent the night in my cell. Who was he to do that?

Stomping back to my cell I walked into C block seeing the sheets still drawn.

"You can go help your dad now." I said, annoyed to Carl who gave me a look.

I collapsed on my bed and closed my eyes, not wanting to deal with people anymore.

Specifically certain blue eyed Sheriff's deputies named Rick Grimes.

...

I walked on over to C-block, slightly calmer in myself but still fuming at Rick's insinuation.

"Are you alright?" Karen asked as she walked over from Tyrese.

"I'm fine Karen." I sat on the stairs.

"You don't look it." She took her space next to me on the metal stairs.

"Do I look like I'm in the mood to talk right now?" I snapped at her, but my mood didn't faze Karen at all. She gave me a pointed look, not impressed at my taking out the anger on her.

"Sorry." I said quietly.

"It's alright. Something's clearly botherin' you though." She sighed.

"If I were to hazard a guess. Rick?" She asked as I nodded.

Just as I was about to tell her, loud snarling could be heard from one of the cells. We jumped to attention immediately as a Walker stumbled out from behind the white sheet, dripping blood and flesh onto the concrete. The rotting smell hitting our noses.

Immediately screams and shouts of terror, filled the cell block, with people scrambling for cover.

I grabbed the knife I had luckily brought with me and made my way over to the bastard but I was pushed down by panicked people. The walker bit down hard on a woman's neck, her dying screams filling the block. People were shoving themselves into the cells, closing the doors in to save themselves.

But there were walkers everywhere descending on us.

"Karen get a rifle!" I shouted at her as I slashed, the remains of people I knew.

A loud shotgun sound filled the air, as a Walker dropped dead behind me. I turned around seeing the smoke from the barrel of Karen's gun but all hell had already broken loose.

We switched between herding people out of the cell block, whilst keeping an eye on walkers that attacked us.

I was pulled back and shoved to the side, by a familiar archer who began firing his crossbow off.

"Daryl!" I shouted alerting him to the pack of Walkers going after Tyrese.

"Pol!" I turned around as Rick came into the fray, he grabbed my shoulders harshly.

"Are you bit?" He shouted.

"No! We gotta help them!" I said as we began shooting the walkers down.

A number of terrified people were running down the steel steps and out of the cell block as Rick got them safely out. I watched his back, cutting down the walkers with my knife that tried to bite him.

People were walking around with teared up limbs and large bites embedded in their arms and legs.

"Glenn!" I screamed running over to him to slash the knife into the head of the Walker crawling behind him.

"Thanks." He huffed as I nodded.

"Karen, Tyrese get out of here! Take others with you." Rick instructed the happily united couple by the cell. I scouted the cell block, as people were running out getting to a safe place. I spotted Carol, dragging someone into one of the cells and followed her.

"Ryan." I said pushing back the sheet and spotting the man groaning on the bed.

"I couldn't find Hershel." Carol said strapping the belt around his upper arm.

I came beside her and found the nasty bite embedded into his arm. I looked at Carol worriedly as she continued making the tourniquet.

"We gotta amputate to stop the infection from spreading." Carol said.

"I can do it." I said firmly inspecting the arm.

"You sure?" Carol stopped to look at me.

"Yeah, I got to." I gave her a tight smile.

I took my machete and held Ryan's arm.

"Bite down on this." Carol gave him a belt.

"You can do this Polaris." Ryan nodded firmly.

"I'm supposed to reassure you." I joked.

I leaned over his arm and stopped, subtly motioning to Carol to look. There was sizeable bite on the back of his neck. There was nothing we could do. Ryan was a father, and now a dead man.

"It's happenin' isn't it?" Ryan asked, the sweat dripping down his face. I gently threw the knife across the cell, focusing on comforting the patient.

Me and Carol gently laid him back as I inspected his face. His pupils were dilated, he was running a fever, there were sores starting to appear around his mouth and he was sweating buckets.

"You're in shock, you need to rest." Carol gently held his forehead.

"Lizzie and Mica, you care about them." He directed his statement to Carol.

"They don't have anyone else. Kids on their own, they don't stand a chance. Can you look out for them? Like they're yours?" Ryan's voice broke.

"Yeah I can." Tears pricked my eyes at Carol's answer. She had lost her own daughter, and now she was taking responsibility for another man.

I placed a hand on Carol's shoulder and left the cell, giving them privacy coming out into the open. Finally the people were out of the cell block and the walkers dead.

"You good?" Rick's hand hovered over my arms as he looked down into my eyes.

"Yeah." I said backing away from his touch, remembering what he said just this morning.

"Check the cells." He called out to me, Daryl and Glenn.

We went through each cell, finding more than a few dead bodies. People we knew. I sighed sadly seeing the fallen men and women, thrusting my knife through their heads just to be sure, then throwing sheets over them.

"How did this happen?" I looked at Daryl as we moved between the cells.

"I dunno. They couldn't have got in." Daryl said walking over to Rick.

"But they did."

Rick killed a walker lurking in one of the cells.

"We found Patrick. Bleeding at the mouth, like he was infected or somethin'" Rick said as I stood beside him.

"Walkers infected? What like a virus?" I asked him in surprise.

"I don't know." Rick shook his head.

"I heard Patrick was running a fever. Dr S and Hershel said it could've been a airborne virus carried in with the walkers." I said.

"But it turned our own into them?" Glenn asked.

"No bites, no wounds I think he just died." Rick stated bending over another one of the newcomers, Charlie's body as Dr S and Hershel both came into the cell.

"Horribly too. Pleurisy, aspiration. He choked to death on his own blood." Dr S said sombrely.

"I saw Walkers like that outside the fence." Rick said.

"Is it a sickness from the Walkers?" I asked.

"No around from before them. Pneumococcal, most likely an aggressive flu strain." Dr S suggested.

"Hell, Charlie was here just yesterday eatin' barbeque." Daryl said.

"How could somebody die in a day just from a cold?"

"I had a sick pig, died quick. Saw a sick boar in the woods." Rick stated.

"Violet?" My eyes flashed over to him in surprise.

"Yeah." His blue eyes met mine.

"That's how these things spread in the past. We need to do something about those hogs." Hershel said morosely.

"Maybe we got lucky, maybe these cases are just it." Dr S said hopefully.

I shot him a look with my eyebrows raised, he surely couldn't be that naive.

"All of us here. We've all been exposed." Hershel said.

I stepped out of the cells breathing heavily. We could be infected, all of us here could be infected with whatever that was. Which meant we were doomed.

"You alright?" Rick asked.

"You want the truth or the lie Grimes?" I chuckled sarcastically.

"No I'm not fine." I shook my head in response.

"You?"

"No." Rick said uneasily as we walked in silence out of C-block.

"Listen," Rick began.

"Rick, please. Let's just leave it." I said quickly, hoping to avoid the subject.

"No I gotta say this." Rick said as we stopped walking.

"I didn't mean to suggest that there was anything between you and Daryl. Not that there's anythin' wrong with it. It's your choice and I shouldn't interfere with it." Rick apologised looking sincere.

"You're right. It is absolutely my choice. But when I say nothing happened, I mean it. And you didn't believe, you didn't trust me on a small thing like that." I said firmly testing him, as we left the corridors.

"I know. I'm sorry, I had no right." Rick said more seriously.

"I know." I echoed his words.

"To make up for it," Rick stopped me with his hand. He reached down into his back pocket and pulled out a small purple flower handing it out to me, with an unsure look on his face.

"A flower?" I raised an eyebrow at him, suppressing a smile.

"Uh yeah. I haven't found anymore books for ya." Rick scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"What makes you think I would like flowers?" I asked.

"You don't?" Rick asked, his eyes widening.

"Lucky for you I do."

I took the flower wordlessly from him as he approached the door from the courtyard.

"As far as apologies go, that wasn't bad." I cracked a small smile looking ahead as we walked. I smiled warmly to myself, holding the precious flower in my hand.

Whether he liked me or not, the flower caused a warm feeling to wash over me and a small spark of hope. But that feeling was fleeting and gone, the moment I remembered what had just happened. That we weren't even safe behind our own walls.

"Yeah?" Rick managed a small smile as he pushed the door open and held it for me, gesturing for me to go through.

"Yeah."

"We lost a lot of people." Rick said looking down, the change in mood instantaneous.

"Don't you dare blame yourself." I said firmly, feeling the loss of our people.

We walked under the connecting fence bridge seeing Carl and Maggie supporting an injured Michonne in the middle of them. Carl threw Michonne's arm down and ran towards us as quickly as he could.

"Carl!" I shouted.

"You might wanna stay back." Rick said warily to his son, as he wrapped himself in a hug.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't see you come out." Carl's voice cracked, as my heart broke at the sight of him. Sometimes it was hard to forget, he was still so young and vulnerable.

"It's okay. I'm here I'm fine." Rick said reassuringly.

"Pol." Carl's attention turned to me as his head came crashing into my chest as he hugged me.

"Carl." I rubbed a hand down his back.

"Back away kid." I gave him a gentle shove away from the both of us.

"I had to use one of the guns by the gate, I swear I didn't want to." Carl said defensively as Rick looked at him.

"I was coming back. I fell, they came out and helped me." Michonne said leaning against Maggie.

"I'm glad you're safe." I sighed in relief, seeing my best friend.

"What happened in there?" Maggie asked holding Michonne's hand over her shoulder.

I looked at Rick, at a loss for words.

"Patrick got sick last night, some kind of flu. We think he died and attacked the cell block." Rick explained.

"Look, I know. I know he was your friend. I'm sorry." Rick bent down to Carl, his voice wavering slightly.

"Glenn and your dad are ok, but they were in there." Rick spoke to Maggie.

"You shouldn't get too close to anyone that might've been exposed, at least for a while. All of you." Rick spoke to them as Carl rushed back to Michonne.

"Take care y'all." Maggie gave us a small smile as they helped Michonne off.

"Now what?" I asked the man in charge, no matter how much he didn't want to be.

"The council are gonna meet, they'll decide what to do.

...

"Daryl wait up!" I shouted to the archer who was heading out towards the field. He turned around seeing me and stopped, holding a few shovels in his hands.

"You shouldn't have to do it by yourself." I said softly, walking up to him.

"I don't mind." Daryl shrugged nonchalantly.

"I'm helping you. No room for argument Dixon. Let's go." I took one of the shovels as we walked together to the site, to bury the bodies.

"Here, use this to cover your nose and mouth." Daryl threw me a dirty looking red neck scarf.

"I'm not gonna lie, this doesn't look hygienic." I turned my nose up at the rag, but quickly tied it around my face at Daryl's disapproving look.

The bodies were wrapped in white sheets on one side, as me and Daryl started digging. An hour later we had dug and filled two of the holes and were working on the third.

"I've already thought of too many inappropriate jokes." I shook my head morbidly eyeing the body wrapped in the sheet.

That was Patrick. Eager to please everyone, eternally grateful to Daryl for the deer.

"People process grief differently." Daryl said.

"Yeah." I stuck the shovel into the soil and threw the dirt out of the hole we were digging.

"I don't think I have any tears left to cry anymore." I shook my head.

"You can surprise yerself." Daryl said simply. I looked up seeing a familiar man in that awful brown shirt approach us.

"Glad you were in there." Daryl said, a black scarf around his own face.

"Wasn't much use without my gun." Rick looked around the field.

"No you were. All this time you've been takin' off. You've earned it." Daryl said removing the mask.

"He's right, we wouldn't be here without you." I praised the man who was eyeing the shovel.

"Nah, it was all of us." Rick took the shovel and approached the grave.

"It was you first. You gonna help us figure this out?" Daryl turned to his friend.

"I screwed up too many times. The calls you have to make. I start down that road, I almost lost my boy, who he was." Rick expressed sadly.

"Whatever else this place needs, I'm here for it." Rick said firmly, not wavering from his position.

But truth be told, the council were doing well. However we needed a strong leader like Rick, Hershel disagreed with me on that thinking Rick would better be served in other places.

"Like I said you earned it. But for what it's worth, you see mistakes. I see when the shit hits, you're standing there with a shovel." Daryl said diplomatically.

My lips drew into a smile of amazement at Daryl's words.

"What are you smilin' for?" Daryl asked.

"Oh nothin' just didn't know you were capable of such a sentimental pep talk." I said as Daryl pushed me down into the dirt.

"Oi!" I complained.

"RICK! DARYL! POL!" Maggie came running over the hill screaming our names, as she pointed to the fence.

The outer fence was close to collapsing now, at least hundred Walkers were leaning on it, growling and snarling. Threatening to knock it down. The three of us immediately jumped up to run after Maggie. We reached the weak part of the outer fence and grabbed the hooks, stabbing their brains to push them back.

"Noise has drawn them out. The fence is starting to give!" Maggie said urgently.

I watched Rick, eye the long metal hook reluctantly.

"It's okay." I reassured him, plunging one into a walker.

Rick's blue orbs snapped to me as he nodded, thrusting the metal rod into the brain of a walker, reaching it's clawed hand through the fence.

"There's more of them coming!" Glenn called out. Sure enough, there were more walkers drawing in from deep in the forest, joining the ones already tearing down the fence.

"Are you seein' this?" Sasha called out from one side. I jogged over to her, finding dead rats on our side of the fence, their entrails staining the grass crimson.

"Is someone feeding these things?" She asked in disbelief as we all shared horrified looks.

"This side of the fence quick!" Maggie shouted as we all rushed over, trying to push the walkers back.

"Woah," Glenn pulled me back slightly as the fence was almost parallel to our heads and the walkers hands were almost in contact with our skin.

"It's gonna give! It's gonna give!" Rick shouted urgently as we all pushed back against the fence, screaming from the exertion.

"Okay, back. Come on back now!" Daryl shouted as we all took our hands off the fence, staring helplessly as the growls became louder.

"Daryl get the truck. I know what to do." Rick stated.

"This is the most reckless idea you've had!" I shouted back to Rick, over the roar of the truck. Daryl was driving through the gate and out of the prison, with Rick standing on the cart attached.

"Not true!" He called.

"Don't you remember Atlanta?" Rick cracked a wry smile as I shook my head disapprovingly. Atlanta seemed like ages ago now. A different time.

Daryl steered hard the truck and stopped, until we were a decent distance away from the prison fence, behind the horde of walkers.

"Ready!" Daryl shouted.

"Rick they're close enough." I growled at him as the walkers turned their attention towards us.

"Let's go!" Daryl said urgently.

Rick reached inside the crate on the cart and pulled out one of the piglets squealing in terror. He took his knife and sliced the throat dropping the pig onto the ground. Daryl started up the truck as we drove a distance away from the walkers, now distracted by a different food source. They tore into the pig as I turned my head in disgust.

"And there goes the bacon!" I cheered sarcastically.

"Alright stop!" Rick called out as he pulled out another pig, releasing them to the walkers who were following us. I looked back at the fence where Sasha and Glenn were reinforcing the fence with thick wooden trunks, supporting the weakness.

We drove far away as Rick collapsed onto the cart, blood stained on his face and the brown shirt.

...

After taking a shower I walked outside passing Carl who was making his way back inside.

"You alright kid?" I asked his forlorn face.

"Yeah, you might wanna check on dad though." He said seriously before walking off.

Rick was standing in front of the broken pen, burning the wooden fence pieces in the fire. He had his hands on his hips as I walked up to stand beside him, watching the fire.

"You got your belt back on." I noticed seeing the gun, strapped into his holster.

"Yeah, I think it's time. Don't you?" Rick asked.

"Yeah. We need you Rick, and not as a farmer." I said seriously.

"I know." he nodded, the blood still on his face.

He looked down at the brown shirt and dabbed it, feeling the crimson liquid. He began undoing the buttons on the shirt and took it off as he stood before me. Shirtless.

"Uh Rick." I raised an eyebrow at him. Not entirely complaining. He threw the shirt into the fire wordlessly looking sombre.

I had so many words lined up to say to him in that moment, glad that he finally got rid of the brown shirt. But seeing the serious look on his face, I stopped. Under different circumstances, I would have enjoyed seeing his shirtless torso a lot more. But I couldn't.

I shrugged my outer shirt off, leaving me in a t shirt and wrapped it up around his shoulders.

"Thanks." Rick looked down at me smiling.

"Wouldn't want you to catch a cold." I smiled at him.

I coughed into my hand a few times, as Rick rubbed my back soothingly.

"Pol?"

"Yeah no I'm fine."

 **A/N: what did you guys think? Until next time!**


	37. Chapter 37 - Sick

**A/N: I'm uploading a little early for you guys! So I feel this chapter a little all over the place but it has some good moments I hope that guys enjoy. Not a lo happened but just setting up the scene.**

 **Thanks to all the support I get, including those who follow and favourite: RebornRose1992, Luna Marie xo, reverie-scriptor and Skylar97! Also I wouldn't be uploading without my beautiful, lovely reviewers!**

 **Ryane: Haha well you'll see! and sorry to say it won't be as romantically emotional as you like because Rick's gotta get there first and it'll definitely take time to build. but i did work some fluff as well as some tension into this.**

 **RebornRose1992: Thanks for taking the time to read it!**

 **Stefanie: Thanks, I hope you're enjoying the story!**

 **Vince Basile Jr: Aww thanks! I hope you enjoyed the whole wild ride and I'm glad you find it incredible! I know haha we're all waiting on Rick to get his shit together. Ah well I have a fixed point for the pairing to happen but it's not just yet.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags.**

"You're supposed to be resting." Glenn chastised me as we dug another grave.

A day had passed, since all the craziness in C-block and we had just kept losing more and more people to this ridiculous infection. Dr S and Hershel were doing the best they could, but without any antibiotics, the virus spread rapidly.

"I've had enough resting." I coughed into the back of my hand. I pushed the shovel into the dirt, flinging it out onto the grass.

"You should be inside, let them treat you." Glenn looked wistfully over to Maggie.

"I'm not ill yet. Just a bit of coughing." I shrugged.

"Yeah and sneezing. Don't think I haven't noticed." He shot me a sharp look.

"I'll dig this one with you, then I'll go inside okay? You shouldn't have to do this by yourself." I stated.

"It must suck." I pointed out gesturing between them.

"It does. But this way I know she can be safe." Glenn said giving Maggie a small smile.

Half an hour after digging the grave, we were all set and buried one of our fallen companions. I headed back to A-block to see how I could help Dr S and Hershel, but there was the smell of burning coming from an area behind the building.

I followed the smell and walked around dropping my shovel in shock. On the ground were two dead bodies, burnt to a crisp and almost unidentifiable. There was a trail of blood leading from the tunnel to the building outside.

"Fuck." I hissed in horror.

"What happened?" I asked slowly walking over to the others.

"W-who is this?" I stuttered too afraid, I walked over to stand beside Daryl as Tyrese loomed over the bodies.

"Karen and David." Daryl whispered sombrely. A choked gasp made it's way to my throat as I edged closer to the burning bodies.

I felt tears pricking in my eyes as Carol wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I didn't know David for very long but he was a good guy. But Karen. Oh Karen was a dear friend and someone, someone killed her. I felt angry and wiped the tears frustratedly from my face.

I side-glanced Rick, who was looking serious at the corpses.

"I came to see Karen. I saw the blood on the floor, then I smelled it." Tyrese said firmly.

I had the urge to go and hug him, he loved Karen that much I knew. But he was seething with a quiet rage that I was afraid of. I sniffled, and begged myself to stop making a fuss, to stop crying. I thought I had no more tears to give.

"Somebody dragged them out here and set them on fire!" Tyrese's voice broke as he shouted.

"They killed them and set them on fire!" Tyrese's voice wavered once more.

He suddenly turned and advanced on Rick, who took a few steps back. I watched him, his jaw clicking in place. He was just as angry.

"You a cop. You find out who did this and you bring them to me, you understand?" Tyrese said angrily.

"We'll find out who-" Rick said barely above a whisper as Tyrese went for him again. I stepped forward as me and Daryl tried to restrain him, but he shoved us back.

"I need to say it again?" Tyrese challenged him.

"No, no. I know what you're feeling. I've been there, you saw me there." Rick said quietly.

"Karen didn't deserve this. David didn't deserve it. Nobody does." Tyrese interrupted.

"Alright man. Take it eas-" Daryl placed a hand on his shoulder, but was cut out by Tyrese throwing him against the gate.

"I ain't going nowhere until I find out who did this!" Tyrese yelled.

The three of us jumped into action trying to stop Tyrese but Daryl put his hands up in protest.

"We're on the same side man." Daryl reasoned.

"Hey look, I know what you're going through. We've all lost someone, we know what you're going through. But we all need to calm down." Rick stated quietly. Tyrese suddenly jumped, turning around and pushing Rick back harshly.

"You need to step the hell back!" He shouted angrily.

"She wouldn't want you bein' like this." Rick tried a different approach. Tyrese reared his fist back and punched Rick square in the jaw, sending him staggering to the ground.

"Stop!" Carol screamed. I immediately came to Rick's side, who was facing the ground.

Rick looked up again at Tyrese who punched him once more. Daryl restrained the powerful man from the back.

"That's enough." He said with a voice of authority.

"Rick are you okay?" I lifted his head up with my hands, forcing him to face me. His face was covered in blood and his blue eyes were manic. He looked at Tyrese with anger and pushed me out of the way punching him.

Tyrese was on the concrete ground again as Rick began pounding into his face in a frenzied attack, Tyrese now becoming bloody.

"Rick stop it!" I shouted at the man.

"Rick." Daryl said forcefully, he pulled his arms back and held them.

"Let go of me! Let go of me!" He pushed Daryl back into me as I steadied the archer.

Tyrese was groaning on the ground his mouth full of blood, as Rick stared at his bloodied fists in shock and horror.

I bent down beside Tyrese, examining the cuts on his mouth.

"Alright, you won't need stitches but you'll be bruised." I touched his face, examining the cuts.

"We'll take him to Dr S. Just in case." Daryl gestured to himself and Carol. Daryl shot me a look then looked at Rick as I nodded in understanding.

Tyrese was a big man, so lifting him off the ground proved to be a struggle. But between the three of us we managed. Carol and Daryl each draped an arm around their shoulders as they set off towards A-block.

I watched Rick who was still staring at his fist. I placed my hand on his forearm, drawing his eyes to my face.

"Come on Rocky." I placed a hand gently on his back, guiding him into the prison.

...

I took the damp cloth and began wiping the blood from Rick's knuckles, watching his face contort in pain every now and then.

"That was not clever." I raised an eyebrow at the man cleaning his cuts.

"The good thing, is it won't need stitches." I commented, rinsing out the dirty cloth.

"Might wanna avoid typing for a few days." I gave him a small smirk as Rick turned to look at me.

"I think I've done enough damage for one day." Rick said, his eyes focused on the white bowl.

"We've all fallen off the wagon before." I stated, cleaning up his knuckles.

"Is that what this is?" Rick answered sarcastically.

"Don't get lippy with me Grimes. I am a boxer, I know the feeling of punching someone, the thrill of power of them." I said harshly looking into his startled blue eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his eyes trained on me.

"We've lost 12 of our own. And 2 more were just killed in cold blood." I stated.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I said sarcastically and turned my attention to his bloodied knuckles, cleaning up the last of the blood.

"Karen was your friend." Rick said as I turned to face him.

"She was." I replied simply, holding the tears in. I didn't want him to see me in a state of vulnerability, I needed to be strong. Even if that meant I couldn't openly grieve my friend. If Rick couldn't hold it together, then I needed to for the sake of the prison.

"Okay your knuckles are sprained." I stated feeling for the bones. I took a long piece of the linen and began wrapping it around both of his hands, feeling the heat coming from his skin.

I placed one hand gently on the side of his cheek, and used the other to wipe the cloth near his mouth. Rick shuddered suddenly.

"What?" I stopped focusing on his eyes.

"Your hands are cold." He stated.

"You baby." I scoffed as Rick's lips turned upwards slightly.

I smiled slightly in success at humouring him and continue to dab the blood from his jawline.

Being so close to Rick, always affected me. I was so drawn to his presence, he always ran hot and cold but there was such a warmth to him once you got past all the surface that made me like him so much. That made me completely love him. My heart always fluttered, the beats slightly faster in close proximity with him. Even when the situation was all wrong.

"Will you quit moving?" I scolded him, it was like dealing with a fussy child. But seeing him in his most vulnerable state, I felt privileged to know this side of him. And no matter how hard I glared at him, I found his little actions endearing.

"It stings a little and your hands are cold." Rick almost pouted as I raised my eyebrows in disbelief.

"Jeez you've been shot a few times and this is what gets you?" I shook my head.

"You ain't much of a healer." Rick mocked.

I pressed the cold cloth to his wound with more pressure as he hissed in pain.

"Shit." Rick bit his lip.

"Oops sorry." I batted my eyelashes at him innocently.

I stopped dabbing the blood to cough violently into the back of my hand. I felt faint, I knew I could feel a fever coming on, sweat gleaning on my forehead.

"How are you feeling?" Rick asked looking concerned.

"Its a minor cough." I said dismissively.

"Doesn't sound so minor." He drawled.

"Its fine Rick. If I was infected I would be showing extreme signs by now." I shrugged as this answer seemed to temporarily satisfy him. Extreme signs being an insatiable hunger for human flesh.

"You're not my boyfriend so don't worry about it." I said the cutting words, watching Rick taken back by my abruptness.

"I thought I was your friend. Friends worry." Rick said defensively, clearly uncomfortable by the exchange.

"Yeah you are." I flashed a reassuring smile at him, but the tension was there.

"You're gonna find out who did this. Don't worry." I caught his pensive gaze, changing the subject after a while.

"How do you know?" He asked, clenching and unclenching his fists slowly.

"I'm gonna help you." I said firmly as Rick looked at me in surprise.

I dropped the cloth sighing and moved my chair directly in front of him.

"You gotta understand something Grimes. You always act like the weight of the entire world rests on your shoulders. And that you're on your own. But you're not okay? You have a whole host of people ready to help you. So will you please just let us?" I finished my tirade as Rick listened.

"I know. I know I have y'all. I just feel like it's my responsibility to find out. For Tyrese." Rick said calmly as I resumed cleaning his face wounds.

"Not just yours. Ours. You were a cop, I was a scientist. Together we make a dream team." I shot him a small smile which he finally returned.

"Alright." He relented.

"But I am sorry about Karen. I know she was a good friend of yours." He said seriously.

"Its okay." I steadied my voice before answering, but I knew it wavered. Rick edged closer towards me his hand next to mine on the table, before he moved back changing his mind about something.

"Alright you're all fixed up." The awkwardness was definitely present between us, I immediately wished I would take back my previous words.

"You didn't have to patch me up, Hershel could've done it." Rick said pushing his hair back.

"I know. I volunteered." I said cryptically.

"Why?"

"I needed to assess you." I chose my words carefully, as Rick's face showed a blank look.

"Assess your state of mind." I gulped as his face contorted into a number of different emotions.

"You mean to check I wasn't crazy?" Rick accused.

"Look don't get offended. But Rick the way you attacked Tyrese, you were unhinged. You weren't emotionally sound." I said in a softer tone.

"I'm not crazy." Rick stated not meeting my eyes.

"I know. I just worry about you sometimes." I touched his hand gently as he looked at me with the surprised contact.

"Promise?" Rick held out his pinky as I suppressed a wide smile at it.

"Pinkie promise." I said seriously, shaking my pinkie with his.

"Just want to make sure you're alright. We are friends aren't we?" I echoed his words from earlier, as he nodded.

"But whatever you're going through internally, don't shut people out. Tell someone." I clasped his hand in mine, giving it a squeeze before leaving him alone in his thoughts.

I left the cafeteria area and headed over to A-block. Now to figure out who the hell killed Karen and David.

...

I reached the cell block and found Sasha stumbling around. I closed the door quickly behind me, maintaining the quarantine and ran towards her.

"Sasha!" I draped her arm over my shoulder as she tilted her head to look at me. She was covered in sweat, her face had gone a pale colour and her pupils were heavily dilated, not only that she as coughing violently.

"Girl you look like shit." I commented.

"Gee thanks." She glared at me.

"Dr S?" She called out weakly into the cell block as I led her over to one of the closed cells.

A sudden snarling sound appeared followed by rotting hands which reached out of the cells. We stumbled away as a freshly turned walker began growling at us.

I looked at Sasha who was draped over me. More likely than not I was already infected with it. Heavy booted footsteps trudged across the cell block, as the image of a sick Dr S came through.

"We have to tell them. It's starting." He said morosely.

"Alright let's get you sat down." I led Sasha over to the steps as she sat, her face in her hands.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead as I began feeling the hot and cold suddenly. I felt my eyes roll slightly as I steadied my hands against the pole.

"You're getting sick." Dr S pointed out as he came towards me. He inspected my face and placed a hand on my forehead, looking into my eyes.

"You may already infected." He said his eyes lolling back.

"You should get out now." He pushed me towards the door, but his voice sounded faint as if it was far away, I felt my consciousness slipping.

"Can't." I said firmly, trying to get a grip on reality.

"I can feel it. The illness." I shook my head, planting myself next to Sasha on the steps.

"What we need is antibiotics." Dr S said raspy.

I heard footsteps from outside the cell-block as Daryl and Michonne came into view. Their eyes widened in surprise seeing me in there. I waved my hands to them, begging them to not open the door. I jumped up and stumbled towards them slightly until I was against the glass.

"Don't open!" I called out.

"What are you doin' in here? We're gonna go get antibiotics!" Daryl shouted.

"From where?" I asked confused.

"Peachtree veterinary, the council just convened that they'll have what we need." Michonne clarified.

"We were gonna find ya, askin' if you wanted to come with." Daryl asked, his eyebrows arched in confusion.

I broke out into a violent cough, doubled over as my chest felt heavy. I looked into my hand and saw drops of blood stained on my skin.

"I'm sick. Gotta stay in here." I said, my head feeling heavy.

Michonne and Daryl passed each other worried looks as they looked back over me.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked.

"We separated the vulnerable from the potentially infected ones. Carl and Judith along with the other kids and Hershel are in the administration building." Michonne explained as I nodded, sighing in relief.

"And Rick?" I asked.

"He's in the field with Carol. They're doing somethin' with the water." Daryl said.

"Well don't you go looking at me like I'm dead already. Go get them!" I said with a sense of urgency as they nodded.

"And take my car if you want, it's faster. But if I see a single scratch or any blood on it. I'm going to haunt you." I said warningly.

"Don't die." Daryl said before heading off.

"Thanks Dixon." I rolled my eyes fondly at them as they left me in the cell block.

Once Michonne and Daryl left, I felt true dread run through me. This wasn't like the other times where I was patched up or I knew people were coming for me. This was like an illness I couldn't control, with an unpredictable timeline. I could actually die.

Some uncertain length of time passed as the door opened. A number of people were herded in, all sick like the rest of us or even worse off. The symptoms were all similar, fever, head cold, coughing and blood. Carol was standing there, with her face covered up, trying to reduce the risk of catching it.

I started shivering, feeling extremely cold all of a sudden as I felt a blanket draped around my shoulders.

"Thanks Caleb." I said gratefully to the doctor who nodded.

"You're gonna need to keep your strength up and help me. You're the best I have after Hershel." He said seriously.

I walked over to Carol, keeping a safe distance away from her.

"Polaris. How are you in here?" Carol asked in surprise.

"Apparently I've been getting sick over the past 24 hours. Thought it best if I stay in here." I said leaning against the door frame.

"Are you, I mean are you okay?" She asked.

"I can feel the fever setting in. At the moment it's just coughing. But I don't know how long it'll last." I said morbidly, looking back at all the new patients of the cell block.

"Hang in there." Carol said reassuringly.

"Oh do me a favour Carol. Don't tell Rick where I am. Unless he asks, he's got enough on his mind already." I asked the older woman, who looked unsure before nodding.

"I'll check in on you later." Carol smiled through the door as it closed with a clunk.

"Pol?" I turned around hearing a gentle voice.

"Lizzie, you okay honey?" I walked over to the young girl, whose face was pale as she held her arms together.

"I don't feel so good." She said in a small, quiet voice.

"Alright come over." I wrapped the blanket around her shoulders as I took her to an empty cell block. I dipped a cloth in a basin and wiped in on her forehead, cooling it down.

"Bit better?" I asked the young girl.

"Yeah." She replied as I laid her down on the bed.

"I'm just gonna go check on the others. But you lie down and rest okay." I smiled at her slightly as she nodded. Another wretched cough wrecked it's way through my throat as I leaned against the cell frame.

I took a few unsteady steps forward, feeling a wave of dizziness hit me, feeling faint. I looked over to the door and found Sasha talking to Tyrese on the other side. This must have been killing him, first his girlfriend and now his sister was ill too.

As much as I knew he shouldn't, I wished Rick would come and check on me as well. A part of me held a glimmer of hope, but another part knew he needed to focus on the good of the whole prison.

I watched as Tyrese left, leaving Sasha choked in her sobs. I walked over to her, never seeing her so vulnerable and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

"He's gone with Daryl and Michonne. To get the meds." her voice wavered.

"Well that's good." I said encouragingly.

"I just hope I'll be here when he gets back." Sasha cried.

"You will." I looked into her eyes firmly.

"Now come on, let's help Caleb. We're not dead yet."

...

We spent the next couple of hours, treating wounds and trying to cool people's fevers down. We had limited pain medication, but what we had we gave to control the symptoms. My own symptoms were getting worse but I tried not to focus on that.

Glenn had joined us not too soon after, looking just as pale and sickly as I was. We moved from cell to cell, noting down symptoms and trying to establish a timeline for the infection to take hold. But the two of us could feel our movements getting heavier, our vision blurring and weakness in her muscles. It was the flu to end all flus.

The one thing that kept me going was the thought that the antibiotics were coming soon. I knew Michonne and Daryl would come back with them.

"It would be helpful if we had Hershel with us." I wheezed as I began placing cool cloths on a sick woman's forehead.

"It's better he stays out there where he won't get sick." Glenn coughed as he helped me.

"Yeah but with Dr S sick too, we don't have enough medical expertise between us." I said worriedly.

"Look I'm staying alive for my wife. For Maggie. Focus on the people you're living for and it'll help." Glenn said as we moved to the next cell.

There were so many people I could think of. But only one person stood out. And he couldn't afford to lose another member of his family.

"Okay." I nodded to him as moved to the next sick person.

I heard a loud banging on the cell block door.

"Stay here. Treat this guy." I placed a hand on Glenn's shoulder as I walked out of the cell block. Using the support of the cell walls, I lurched my way towards the door seeing Rick standing there, looking at me with something akin to horror.

"Oh hey." My face lit up in a weak smile when I saw him.

"Hey." Rick gulped.

"You didn't tell me you were sick." He said leaning his hands against the door.

"Well I didn't fully know until a couple hours ago, when I got here." I stated simply.

"You shouldn't be here, you could get infected!"

"You should've called for me." Rick said looking down.

"I didn't want you to worry." I shrugged.

"Friends worry." Rick's blue eyes bore into my own.

"It's alright, we've been keeping ourselves busy here. Helping everyone else. There are people who look a lot worse than me." I joked lightly but Rick had an expression that looked like a kicked puppy.

Actually it put a puppy's face to shame.

"Rick, it's okay. They'll be back with the meds soon, I'll be fine you'll see!" I said reassuringly.

"I'm sorry." Rick said.

"For what? You didn't make me sick."

"I'm just sorry for everything alright." Rick sounded exhausted.

"You have no reason to be." I said in a softer tone, standing as close to the door as possible.

"Hang in there please. For me." Rick placed a hand on the glass window in the door.

"I will. Don't worry." I placed my hand over the glass so it mirrored his exactly.

"And I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen." Rick moved back from the door slightly, revealing Hershel holding a wooden crate.

"Hershel, I'm not letting you in here." I stood firmly in front of the door with my arms crossed.

I doubled over as another wave of stabbing pain hit my chest and the coughs reverberated in the cell block.

"You can't stop me." Hershel moved a cloth over his mouth and nose as he opened the door closing it shut behind him.

"I'll check on you later." Rick said to me as I nodded watching him leave.

"You're gonna get sick." I stood back from the man.

"Caleb's too sick to help anybody and I got things that can help. You're barely hanging on yourself. Don't be stubborn Polaris." Hershel chastised as I frowned. He took in my pale, sweaty appearance, the matted hair and the raging fever which was now burning through my body.

"Fine, what do you have?" I asked.

"Elderberries, natural flu remedy." He showed me the green plants in his crate as I cracked a small smile.

"Has anyone told you, you're a genius?" I asked.

"No. And I wouldn't mind hearing it again." Hershel smirked in my direction.

"How are we preparing these?" I asked.

"I've already boiled water, we gotta mix the herbs in." So we set to work under Hershel's instruction, boiling the elderberries in the water.

We went from cell to cell, giving patients the concoction to control the flu symptoms. It didn't make anyone better, but it stopped it from advancing which is what we needed.

An hour later Glenn and I were slumped against a window up the stairs, unable to move anymore. Both ridden with flu.

"Keep these on your forehead." Hershel gave us damp cloths which we pressed against our faces.

"This sucks." Glenn moaned his eyes closed.

I tried to focus on Hershel but he just kept becoming blurry. My vision was hazy, my chest and head felt like they were on fire and I had no strength in my muscles.

"Ain't that the truth homie." I scoffed pressing the cool material to my face.

"Did you just call me homie?" Glenn asked in disbelief.

"It's the fever talkin' my friend." I tilted my head back closing my eyes.

"After everything, we just get taken out by a glorified cold." Glenn shook his head, looking at Hershel.

"I don't know about you but I've never had a cold like this." I chuckled wiping the sweat from my face.

"Don't say things like that. Don't even think things like that." Hershel said seriously to both of us.

"We got this far somehow, you can believe somehow." Hershel looked into our eyes.

"The power of belief?" I asked incredulously.

"You're a scientist aren't you? You know how powerful belief can be." Hershel looked at me.

Glenn and I were silent at his words. Hershel took the damp cloth from us and pressed it against both of our heads.

 **A/N: and let me know what you guys think!**


	38. Chapter 38 - Give Me The Fucking Meds

**A/N: Spent the last two hours writing this chapter for you guys because I had work all week! But I'm quite happy with the result and I hope you guys will be too. There's not as much Rick/Pol but there's a lot of other interactions with other characters I hope you guys enjoy. For your reference this chapter covers episodes 4 and 5 because it obvs is from Pols POV. I'm gonna skip episodes 6 and 7 because that is literally all the Governer's back story of how he comes back to the prison which I'm sure you guys know. So the next chapter will be episode 8.**

 **Thanks to emmymay96 and hrodenhaver who are following and favouriting this story! Also to my reviewers who take the time to say what they thought, it helps so much!**

 **Ryane: Haha I didn't know she would be sick until I just decided it in the moment. Enjoy this chapter!**

 **purplepecky: Hey. So I thought a lot about your review. Of course I'm not gonna kill off my main character! Especially not after I've built her up to you guys, I would never hate you for being upset you are entitled to your own opinion and frankly you are one of my most loyal reviewers so I appreciate it, a lot. So my reason for saying I want to finish in season 6 is because I actually want to end on a high note, before the thing with Negan goes down and a lot of people get killed off. I had a vision in mind for the ending but it's not set in stone. I'm not saying get your hopes up, but I'm saying that I may change my mind eventually. I know how much you love this story and I appreciate your comment and how you would want to see how she deals with Negan. But this story will end eventually, I just haven't decided when. Thank you!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or Tolkien's the Lord of the Rings.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags.**

"Carol yooo." I smirked at her through the glass.

"How are you feeling?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Oh you know, feverish, delusional. Hopped up on elderberries." I gave her a sloppy grin, wiping the sweat from my forehead.

"You need to rest." She said firmly.

"What were you talking to Lizzie about?" I asked her, watching the retreating back of the young girl.

"Oh I'm going on with run with Rick." Carol shrugged nonchalantly, but I could sense something was off.

"A run? With Daryl and Michonne gone to find antibiotics shouldn't you guys stay here?" I sobered up slightly.

"Yeah but we lost food in D-Block. So we're gonna go find some more." Carol replied.

"Ah okay. Can you find me some baked beans? Starved for those goodies." I licked my lips.

"I'll try if I can." Carol gave me a faint smile.

"Are you alright though Carol?" I asked her seriously, but her gaze was far away.

"Yeah, we'll be back soon." She smiled walking off.

Hmm. Something was definitely up with her. The good thing about us in A-block is the Elderberry really helped with slowing down the symptoms. Some of us were much worse off than others, bed ridden and unconscious.

And some of us were too stubborn to stay in bed (me) which Hershel consistently reminded me of.

I hadn't seen Rick at all today and I honestly missed him. A lot. I missed seeing his face, his presence. Even though he didn't like me in the way I liked him, friendship with Rick was better than nothing.

He seems to be more distant. Like he had something to hide. But whenever I had the chance to press him on the subject, he became rigid and refused to even acknowledge it.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Hershel's stern voice came from behind me.

"I was just talking to Carol." I defended getting up out of the chair, as I stumbled slightly.

"Is the room spinning? It feels like it is, I feel hot. Is it hot in here? My body feels like its on fire which is hilarious." I chuckled.

"I told you not to take too much of that elderberry." Hershel walked over to me.

"Yeah but I wanted to help everyone! How's Ren? Lem? What's his name?" I scrunched up my forehead trying to think.

"Your son in law."

"Glenn?" Hershel raised his eyebrows disbelievingly.

"That's the one!" I clicked my fingers grinning at him.

"Okay that's it. Back to bed." Hershel dragged my arms towards one of the empty cells.

"Why? But I'm fine!" I exclaimed.

"No. You are feverish and delirious, you need to sleep." Hershel sat me on the bed.

"And Glenn's fine. He's just getting some rest." Hershel stood at the cell door.

"I'm not tired though." I slumped down onto the pillow, my eyes closing.

"Sleep well."

...

I woke up a few hours later to the sound of violent coughing and wheezing coming from the cell beside mine. The elderberry was definitely leaving my system, I got up and left the cell peeking around to the next one.

Sasha, Glenn and Hershel were hunched over one of the new guys who was on the ground, fighting the fever, he was getting worse.

"You should've fucking woke me." I growled as I bent down beside Hershel.

I looked at Sasha and Glenn, equally pale and sweaty with raging fevers burning through their bodies.

"What's wrong?" The anger disappeared from my voice upon seeing Henry writhe on the floor in pain.

"Hold him down." Hershel instructed as I used whatever strength I had.

"He can't breathe." Glenn panted.

"Henry, I need you to calm down. We're trying to help." Hershel said in a calm voice.

He stuck the breathing tube into his throat and began pumping oxygen from the respirator inside his mouth. Henry's breath became more even and there was no more blood pouring out of his mouth.

Glenn and Sasha both began coughing violently. I handed them the glass with the elderberry root to calm their throats.

"You too Pol." Hershel pointed out.

I shook my head at him. "I've still got it in my system, it's controlling the cough for now." But I could feel my entire body burning up, my muscles were weak and I had vomited everything out of me. I had shakiness and chills.

"Some council meeting huh?" Hershel quipped.

"We're two members short." Sasha wheezed drinking from the cup.

"Don't I count?" I half smiled at her, my vision getting blurry.

"Maybe half." She joked as I nudged her gently.

"Maybe we should make some new rules before they get back. I hereby declare we have spaghetti Tuesdays, every Wednesday." Hershel grinned as we rolled our eyes at him.

"First we have to find some spaghetti."

"You okay to take over?" Hershel continued pumping air as he looked at Sasha. She wasn't in any state to help, but I knew she wouldn't say no.

"Every 5 to 6 seconds squeeze. You feel lightheaded, get someone to take over." He instructed her.

"We'll take it in shifts." Hershel looked between the three of us as we nodded.

"You wanna help me go on my rounds?" He looked at Glenn who was even more paler than usual.

"I'll go with you. Glenn should stay with Sasha." I interjected as Glenn resigned sitting beside Sasha.

"Well alright then." Hershel agreed.

Hershel stood up and headed towards the cell door.

"How long is this gonna keep him alive?" I used the wall to help myself stand up. I pushed down my wet matted hair and shuddered in disgust at myself. What I would do for a shower right now.

"As long as we're willing to do it. As long as it takes." Hershel said determined.

I followed him in the dark cell-block down the steps, illuminated by the single fluorescent light we had. We walked into an open cell, but it was too late. The man had streaks of blood down his face and his eyes were wide open, unmoving. I pulled out my machete to stick into his throat before Hershel stopped me.

"He's gonna turn." I whispered urgently.

"I know. But not here." Hershel left the cell and came back with a gurney.

"Hershel. I don't want to end up like that." My eyes were transfixed on the dead body before I looked back to the old man.

"I don't want to die." I said fearfully, my voice wavering.

"Polaris." He walked over to me, compassion in his kind eyes.

"Right now you're gonna help me with all these sick people. And by the time we've finished and made all our rounds, they'll be back with the antibiotics." Hershel said hopefully.

"But how do you know? I could die before then." I whispered.

"I could die before then too. We don't know what the future holds, but we can control what we know right now. And what I know is that we have to move this body, and if more people die you're gonna help me. Are you up to that?" Hershel asked seriously.

I thought for a moment staring at the body lying on the bed. It was very real that I could end up like that in a few hours. But he was right, I made a promise to heal people and that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to make it through alive. For Rick. Carl. Judith.

"Yes." I nodded.

Very quietly we managed to lift the body on to the gurney. I looked into his eyes and felt despair, I shut the lids, now he seemed at peace. We threw a white sheet over the body and very quietly tried to wheel him out of the room.

"What are you doing?" It was Lizzie's voice that came from a cell as I was halfway out the door. I was speechless, but Hershel thought quickly on his feet and walked over to the young girl, checking her fever.

"We're moving Mr Jacobson to a quieter place." He tactfully replied.

"Go get my copy of Tom Sawyer from my room. I want you to read it tonight. We've all got jobs to do and that one's yours." His eyes twinkled at her.

"I won't finish it." Lizzie replied sadly. My heart sunk and I held my breath at her response, to be so young and to have lost so much already I felt for her.

"Why?" I could hear the dread in Hershel's voice.

"It's gonna be dark out soon." Lizzie replied. I broke out into a smile at her innocence and could hear the relief in Hershel's voice.

"Well, give it your best try and drink some tea." Hershel held her hand before she walked off.

We took the body to a separate room as I held the knife over the uncovered head of the man. I looked down at him, I had just talked to him yesterday and here he was unmoving underneath me. My hand shook with the knife above him, not from fear but from the weakness my body felt.

"People don't need to see this, I don't want them to." Hershel stated.

Soft snarling sounds could be heard from the sheets. Mr Jacobson's bloodshot eyes opened and his hands reached out as he began growling softly. I took the knife and buried it into his skull with a sickening crunch. Yanking the knife out I looked at Hershel, whose eyes were fixed on the blood from the knife.

"You haven't had to seen that yet have you?" I asked him gently.

"No. Sasha did one late last night." He said quietly.

I pulled the white sheet back over his body.

"Come on." Hershel left the empty dank room as we walked back into the cell block.

We went to the next few cells. In one there was a father and son playing monopoly, they had light fevers and some coughing but no extreme signs of infection yet.

In other cells, people were coughing up blood, the evidence on the floor, bed and walls. They were pale and sweaty, the only thing we managed was to brew them more elderberry tea, but even the supplies we had were beginning to run out.

Hershel excused himself after a while, disappearing.

"Here you go." I gave the dice to the young boy playing monopoly and smiled at him.

"Will I get better miss?" He asked as I left. I looked towards his father for help but he was just as ill as I was.

"Well, take a look at me." I bent down to his level, wiping the sweat from my face.

"You look very ill." The boy said in a quiet voice.

"I do. But you know, I'm still walking around aren't I? And I just beat you at monopoly." I grinned which elicited a small smile from him.

"And you're a lot less ill. Daryl and the others will be back with the antibiotics soon. You'll be better in no time." The boy smiled happily and went back to his playing as I left the cell.

I looked over at Glenn who was leaning precariously against the wall, eyeing the corridor that led to the two way glass.

"Isn't there something sinful about lying to little kids?" He said humourless.

"Well I couldn't very well tell him he might die." I stated annoyed.

"Hope is all we got left." I said softly.

"I know, I'm sorry." Glenn nodded.

"It's alright. I get it."

"I miss Maggie you know. Hershel's out there talkin' to her. She wanted to see me." Glenn explained.

"So why don't you go to her?" I asked.

"You know her, she would worry if she saw me like this. And I don't want her to." Glenn stated.

"I hate being stuck in this cell-block." I kicked the ground.

"I miss being out there." I gestured to the window.

"You mean you miss seeing Rick." Glenn raised an eyebrow.

"And Carl! Judith, Carol, Daryl, Michonne, Maggie and Beth." I said defensively.

"But let me guess, Rick is the one person you can think about right now?" Glenn guessed as I nodded dumbfounded.

"It's not hard to see, you're in love with him."

"Apparently it is for him." I said sarcastically.

"Or he knows and rather doesn't feel the same. You know I wish he told me he didn't like me, first he kisses me back at the farm. Which confuses my feelings, and he flirted with me a lot! Or maybe he was just being friendly. But I wish he stopped me before I admitted my feelings to him." I finished sadly.

"Pol. You're kidding me right. I don't know if he loves you, but he definitely likes you. And I mean more than friends, I can see it. And he definitely flirts with you. But the guy is a mess. He feels guilty about his feelings because his wife died." Glenn said exasperated.

"And he's got two kids he's trying to raise. So things like his feelings? He's gonna have trouble figuring them out." Glenn clarified.

"You really think he likes me?"

"Yeah he does. He needs time to come to that conclusion for himself though." Glenn reassured.

"I'm not gonna wait around for him forever Glenn, if someone else comes along that likes me and I feel the same. I can't pine for him forever, I just don't see his feelings the way you do. I'm sorry." I shrugged.

"I hope it works out between you two. And if you wanna be with someone else, that's fine. But you think in this world that's 90% occupied by zombies, there's another Rick Grimes?" Glenn posed the question as I stayed silent.

"Sure you're not harbouring secret feelings for him?" I cracked a smile at Glenn who rolled his eyes.

"I see right through your defensive tactics Pol." Glenn narrowed his eyes at me.

"I'm your best friend remember?"

"Well you and Michonne." I gave him a sheepish smile.

"What?" Glenn placed a hand over his chest in mock horror.

"To be fair I survived for 9 months throughout the winter in the wild with her." I defended my katana-wielding friend.

"Yeah but I saved you from Walkers when we met." Glenn crossed his arms over his chest.

"Actually that was Rick." I rectified raising my eyebrow at him.

"Yeah well..." Glenn was grasping for straws and he knew it.

"I saved Rick from the tank, who then in turn saved you. So ha!" Glenn shouted in victory.

"Alright Pizza-Boy I'll give you that." I put my hands up in defence.

"Oh I can't believe you brought that up. That was an intimate conversation between friends in the sewers!" Glenn exclaimed as I began laughing.

"Hey it's common knowledge now." I smirked at him.

"Let me tell you I was the best damn pizza-delivery man they had ever seen." Glenn scoffed as I suppressed a smile.

"Alright G-man give me some!" I held out my hand for him to high five but Glenn just looked at me disappointed.

"Don't leave me hanging." I whined as he reluctantly high fived it.

"Oh there you are!" I looked at Hershel who came down the corridor.

"Thank you for stopping her." Glenn said with relief.

"We need someone out there taking care of things." Hershel nodded.

"If she saw me, couldn't keep her out. I know you didn't wanna lie to her." Glenn smiled slightly.

"I didn't lie. Look at ya, you're resting." Hershel gestured to Glenn leaning on the ground.

"I'm almost done with my rounds. Why don't you guys go rest now?" Hershel suggested.

"But I'm fine." I argued.

"You say that one more time, and I will put you to sleep." Hershel said threateningly.

"Okay fine! Come on Glenn, he doesn't want our help." I stuck my tongue out at Hershel as Glenn and I helped each other up the steps.

We walked into the cell finding Sasha still pumping away on the respirator. Glenn and I gave each other a look as we settled down on the ground beside her, no matter how much we wanted to collapse.

"Give me." I said to her as she barely stayed conscious.

"No I got this." I took it out of her hands and began pumping.

"Sasha you need sleep and drink this." I handed her the elderberry tea as she took a large gulp.

"Get to your cell, we'll take over." Glenn placed a hand on her shoulder as she nodded, leaving the cell.

A while later Glenn took over from me as we sat in silence making sure our patient stayed alive.

"Thank you." Hershel said to both of us as he looked inside the cell.

"No problem." We gave him weak smiles as he left once more, I could hear the cell doors closing with a clang as I gave Glenn a look.

"It must be bad. He's closing everyone in." I said seriously as I took the respirator from Glenn to pump more oxygen into the man.

"Come on Daryl. Come on." I whispered silently to myself, trying to find the energy to carry on pumping.

"Glenn take over for a minute." I said to him as he nodded.

I stumbled down the stairs looking around in the dark cell block for any sign of the vet.

He suddenly emerged from the corridors, his face looking grim and his eyes were wet with tears.

"There you are- what is it?" My tone turned serious seeing his eyes more downcast then before.

"I just spoke with Rick." He said.

"Him and Carol are back?" My voice perked up at their mention. They were gone for the best part of the day and I was glad to hear they were back safely. I desperately wanted to see Sheriff Grimes, I missed even just talking to him.

"Yeah." Hershel said uneasily avoiding my gaze.

"You're not telling me something." I said to Hershel as he closed a cell door shut. I followed his limping using the cells for support as we stopped, seeing the end of brown boots lying on the ground.

"Sasha!" I rushed to her side as Hershel grabbed the light.

I checked her pulse which was barely there and her forehead was on fire, she was sprawled on the ground. Hershel turned her over on her side and pulled out the IV bag from the plastic coverings.

"Okay since when did we have an IV line?" I asked in shock.

"For emergencies, here." He handed me the needle end which I uncovered.

"Think you can find her vein?" Hershel asked as I nodded. I patted and rubbed her elbow until the blue vein came into view, gently piercing the skin I pricked the needle in and taped it down.

Hershel held up the bag as we watched and waited for the nutrients to replenish her blood. About half an hour later Sasha's eyes flickered open as I bowed my head in relief.

"Hey." I smiled widely at her.

"Welcome back." Hershel smiled sitting on the bed.

"I passed out." Sasha stated weakly.

"You were dehydrated. Being a hero takes a lot of you." Hershel smiled good-naturedly.

"You should know. I thought you were an idiot to come in here." Sasha quipped.

"Oh shit." I chuckled uneasily looking at Hershel.

"I thought you were gonna be a dead, foolish man." Sasha continued to insult him as my mouth hung open in shock.

"I can't tell if that's a compliment." Hershel remarked.

"You are now my hero for calling Hershel an idiot and still being alive." I squeezed her hand, grinning at Hershel who shot me an unamused look.

"I don't know what I'm saying. I must have hit my head." Sasha closed her eyes.

"I don't believe in magic and luck. I do the math, and I don't gamble. But I don't know if I'd be here or not, if you both weren't so damn stupid." Sasha cracked a weak grin as I was mock-offended.

"Are you gonna take that shit Hershel? Sick or not I ain't." I smiled at Sasha.

"You know what? I'm gonna take that as a compliment." There was laughter in Hershel's voice.

"You better." Sasha turned her head still sweating.

"You good to take over? I need to check on Glenn." Hershel looked at me as I nodded weakly, the tiredness was getting to me as I sat down against the bed. I took the IV from him and held it up as he left the cell.

I stayed with Sasha a while as she slept, I tied the back up high from the bunkbed, hoping it would hold and went outside seeing Hershel took to the father of a young boy.

Suddenly a hissing sound came out of nowhere from the next cell, as a walker stumbled out. There was a large waterfall of blood stained all the way down to the neck with bloodshot eyes and a bloodthirsty growl. The walker clambered towards Hershel and knocked him to the ground, it's dirty hands around its neck.

"Oh shit!" I called out, making my way over to him as fast as I could.

"Everybody, stay in your cells!" Hershel called out as people began walking towards their cell doors.

I pulled out my machete and stabbed the creature in the base of neck until it stopped growling, pushing it off Hershel. I helped him up as he steadied himself against the stairs.

"You alright? She didn't bleed on you or anything?" I asked him.

"No. I'm fine." Hershel panted, slightly out of breath.

The father walked out of his cell a gun in his hands which he lowered, seeing us alright. Another walker, his son who was fine a few hours ago emerged behind him biting into his arm. He let out a scream of anguish as blood began pouring out.

"No!" I shouted as he let out a gunshot which ricocheted off the walls. The sound was loud and deafening to our ears, and it meant no good news.

I felt a weakness in my legs and collapsed to the ground coughing. There was red liquid splattering the cell-block concrete ground. Using the wall I got up and stumbled towards the boy-walker, killing him instantly. I fell to the ground again and crawled over to Hershel, my vision becoming blurry.

The elderberry had completely worn off now and I felt pale and shaky, my legs too wobbly to stand on. The father was nowhere to be seen.

"We need to amputate his arm." I said to Hershel as I panted heavily.

"You're in no shape to do anything." Hershel commanded.

"Come on." With difficulty he held me up as we backed away towards the stairs. The walker began growling it's way towards us as we heard thudding footsteps coming from up the stairs.

"Come on boy." It was Lizzie's voice. We looked up and saw a questionable sight. Lizzie was leading Henry who was now a Walker away from the cells.

"What. The. Fuck." I whispered in horror.

"Just a little more. Keep coming. Come on boy." Lizzie said backing away from him, Henry stumbled slowly towards her, the respirator still attached to his mouth.

"Hershel come on." I whispered to him as we walked up the stairs. Suddenly Lizzie was screaming and Hershel raced ahead of me towards the Walker growling on top of the little girl.

I walked after him, trying to keep up buy my body refused to cooperate. Hershel pushed the walker off Lizzie and threw it off the railing, he helped Lizzie up as I reached them.

"You okay?" Hershel asked.

"I called him nice. He didn't scratch Glenn. I thought maybe he'd listen." She whimpered.

"Lizzie, sweetie they're not-" But I was silenced by a glare from Hershel.

"Where's Glenn?" He asked.

Lizzie led us over to one of the empty cells as we found Glenn gasping on the ground with blood out of his mouth.

"No." I whispered, placing a hand on his forehead.

"Stay here." Hershel instructed before limping off.

"Hershel." I handed him the knife as he took off, disappearing from the cell. I half laid down beside Glenn, my eyes rolling back.

I was losing consciousness now, I could feel it. I focused on staying awake for Glenn.

"Pizza-boy." I shook him gently but he was muttering and writhing on the ground.

"Glenn." I whispered.

Another gun-shot echoed out into the cell-block and there was a sound that was like shattering glass. Hershel was back inside the cell as Glenn began vomiting up blood and gasping.

"The respirator! It's attached to Henry." I exclaimed as Hershel nodded giving me a smile.

"Hold on Glenn. Keep him conscious!" he raced out again.

I placed Glenn on his side as he began choking on the blood. There were sounds of more gunshots and shouts coming from outside the cell, but I just didn't have the energy to investigate, I could feel my eyes turning back.

"He's turning blue!" That sounded like Maggie.

"Maggie," I muttered opening my eyes. Sure enough she was in front of me.

"Pol." She smiled relieved as I sat up seeing Glenn joke.

"Dad!" Maggie cried desperately.

"Hold his arms down!" We did as he asked, as Hershel fitted the respirator bag around his mouth. Glenn gagged as Hershel fitted the tube into his mouth.

"Stay with us." Hershel said. My grip on Glenn became slack as I slumped back on the ground.

"Daddy! Pol!" It was Maggie's voice, but it sounded so far away.

"Pol, stay with us!"

"When Daryl gets back, tell him to give me the fucking meds." I muttered.

I allowed myself to slip into the sweet-dreamlike state, I didn't have the energy to stay awake. I didn't have the energy to fight anymore.

...

"Frodo woke and found himself lying in bed. At first he though that he had slept late, after a long unpleasant dream that still hovered on the edge of memory. Or perhaps he had been ill?"

Hang on, I recognise that. The opening lines of the Fellowship of the Rings.

"But the ceiling looked strange; it was flat, and it had dark beams richly carved. He lay a little while longer looking at patches of sunlight on the wall, and listening to the sound of a waterfall."

And that voice. I know that southern twang. I willed my eyes to open. I was back in my cell in D-block again. It was the middle of the day and the sunlight was streaming into the cell, warm against my skin. I moved my leg and hit an object sitting against the wall at the foot of my bed.

"Where am I, and what is the time? He said aloud to the ceiling."

"Rick!" I grinned widely at the man reading out of the book.

"And she's finally awake." He folded the page over and closed the book smiling at me.

I sat up in bed and threw myself into his chest, giving him a hug. He wrapped his arms around my back, his chest rumbling with laughter.

"I'm happy to see you too and looking less ill." He smiled.

"I feel a lot better. I'm guessing Daryl came back with the antibiotics?" I checked as he nodded.

I disentangled myself from his arms and crossed my legs on the bed sitting opposite him.

"Where you just reading Fellowship of the Ring to me?" I enquired seeing my book in his hands.

"Yep, and it took me all the way to the Council of Elrond until you woke up. You know this ain't that bad. This Token guy is alright." Rick nodded inspecting the cover.

"Dear lord. It's Tolkien." I corrected him.

"And I'm glad you like it." I beamed happily at him.

"So I take it your run with Carol was successful? How long have I been out?" I asked him and noticed his expression fall.

"About a day and a half." He scratched the back of his neck.

"Woah." I gasped in shock. It's true I felt much rejuvenated after the rest, signs of weakness and infection were gone from my body and I was definitely happy to be in my cell again.

"I'm really glad you're okay." Rick said seriously.

"I don't know what I would've done if I lost you." His blue eyes were earnest with emotion as I felt my heart swoon.

"You're not going to lose me that easily." I held out my pinkie to him. He grasped it with his own in a promise.

"So where is Carol anyways?" I asked swinging my legs over the bed. I began lacing up my boots and found some clothes to change in.

"She said she'd see me, when she got back." I chuckled and noticed Rick's sombre silent expression.

"Rick." I said seriously. There was something he wasn't telling me.

"That's what I need to talk to you about."

"About Carol."

 **A/N: I'm actually quite pleased with how this chapter turned out. What did you guys think?**


	39. Chapter 39 - All Hell Breaks Loose

**A/N: Because you guys are so quick and amazing to review and support this story, I thought you deserved this chapter right now! Hopefully I'll upload the next one on Monday or a day or two after that but this one is just a one-off bonus for you guys! It's very eventful in terms of storyline, Season 4 episode 8. You'll see what the split will be like as we go into the second half of season 4 and how I'll write it.**

 **Thanks to everyone who supports this story, including my faves and follows: , jwugetmoney. Also my amazing reviewers:**

 **Ryane: Haha what appropriate music choices! Also two good songs. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's Governor time!**

 **Kylo Ren Emily Skywalker: Right?! Boy needs to get his head together, but you know our man Rick, he's got a lot on his mind and he's slow to process his feelings.**

 **Guest: Welcome! and Thank you! Well you'll see what actually happens! She's in two minds about it because a) Carol is like a mother figure to her but on the other hand she murdered two people, regardless of her intentions.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

I couldn't believe it. In fact I refused to, it had to be some kind of sick twisted joke.

"I don't believe you." I stared blankly at Rick.

"I'm not making this up." Rick said calmly. Clearly he was expecting this reaction from me.

"Rick. Carol, sweet Carol is not capable of murder." I said in denial.

"Pol." Rick said exasperated.

"I can't believe that. I don't want to. She's not gone." I whispered my voice wavering.

"Why did you send her away?" I said in an accusing tone.

"Once Tyreese found out, he would've killed her. You know he would have, this way I thought they could all be safe." Rick defended.

"But David and Karen..." I trailed off shaking my head. No, I couldn't imagine it, Carol killing them then dragging their bodies and burning them in the courtyard.

"She would've done anything to stop the infection from spreading." Rick added.

"I left her with food and supplies, she got a car and plenty of gas to keep her going." He said quietly.

"Carol's not capable of-of well..." I couldn't bring myself to say the word.

"We're capable of anything when we're desperate." My mind flash backed to when we arrived at the Greene Farm and when I had shot Otis, when Shane threatened to expose my secret.

But no one had blackmailed Carol, she did it of her own volition. Because she thought she was helping. Rick's words stayed with me when he left the cell.

Carol was like a mother figure to me. I went to her for advice, she understood my abusive past. Only she truly knew, having been a survivor herself. And now she was gone.

"Pol!" Carl's cheerful voice entered my cell as the young boy tackled me in a hug.

"Hey buddy!" I smiled at him ruffling his hair.

"I'm so glad you're okay." He pulled apart, sitting on the bed beside me.

"I'm glad to see you after a few days! It feels too long, how have you been? How's Judith?" I asked eager to see the baby.

"Yeah I'm okay. She's sleeping at the moment." Carl said.

"I thought you were gonna die." Carl said quietly, I stopped running my hand through his hair and looked at me next to me.

"Hey." I turned his face towards mine.

"Nothing is gonna take me away from you guys. Okay. And I definitely wasn't going to let a flu take me down." I smiled at him as Carl smiled back.

"I'm just so happy you're fine. I gotta go help dad but we'll talk more later!" Carl gave me one last hug before leaving my cell.

His visit left a smile on my face. I was glad he could still retain his innocence as a child and he looked lighter, happier. He had momentarily let me forget about Carol. Stupid, stupid Carol, my face became downcast once more. Why did you do that? I allowed myself to cry for her departure, the joy and energy in me was gone and Carol leaving left a hole inside me.

After fixing my face I left the cell block and went outside in the courtyard with my CD player.

I sat out on the bench listening to the music on full volume with my Lord of the Rings book. The sun danced against my skin, allowing me to forget slightly our troubles and losses.

This was a crazy bad dream. I tapped my foot to the best as the soft electric guitar filled my ears. Carol was no longer with us, I just hoped wherever she was she would be safe.

Radiohead's Creep sounds super appropriate right now. I watched Daryl walk out into the courtyard and make his way over to me.

"Hey." He said sitting up on the table beside me.

"You're okay." He said it as a statement as I took my headphones off to look at him.

Slowly I put my arms around his shoulders and rested my head in a side hug. Daryl being Daryl patted my back as I let go of him pushing the hair back from his eyes.

"I'm glad you're okay too." I smiled.

"About Carol." I started.

"It sucks." Daryl said simply as I nodded.

"Whatcha listening to? And readin'?" Daryl changed the subject, his eyes focusing on the CD player.

"Oh here." I gave him one side of the headphone as we stuck our heads beside each other.

"Radiohead. Cool." Daryl nodded as he listened to the music.

"And I'm reading Lord of the Rings." I explained showing him the back.

Daryl gave me a disgruntled look. "Yeah I know it's not everyone's taste. But it's mine." I defended as Daryl smirked slightly.

"I know." He said quietly.

"Hope you idiots brought my baby back?" I checked raising an eyebrow.

"Your BMW is fine, bits of Walker on it though." Daryl shrugged.

"What?" I snapped my head around so fast I almost gave myself whiplash.

"We were surrounded, had to hack them through the window." Daryl explained.

"Oh great." I groaned.

"We're okay too." Daryl pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah but I don't really care about you. I care about my car." I shrugged dismissively shooting him a smile.

We sat there side by side as friends who were grieving. I felt guilty that I grieved more for Carol and her actions than the deaths of David and Karen.

Did that make me a bad person? Maybe, but the lines of right and wrong were blurred together. Carol crossed one by killing them, but I still missed her.

"I haven't seen Michonne yet. Or Hershel, is he okay?" I asked Daryl after a while.

"Yeah she's just dumping the bodies out. Hershel was fine when we reached y'all. Sure he's around somewhere." Daryl shrugged as I nodded.

"Okay." But I couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

I looked outwards towards the field, watching Rick and Carl tend to the crops. The food and supplies Rick and Carol found on their run was a stroke of luck. The crops were also coming in, we had good potato and tomato plants, meaning we had a long term supply of food.

But as much as the prison had saved us, we had lost so many people now that it was starting to feel less like home. Maybe that was just the nature of the way we lived now, losing people in more than one way. Maybe we just had to live with it now.

"When did you say Michonne headed out?" I asked Daryl who was bobbing his head along to the music.

"I dunno, maybe an hour or so ago. Why?" Daryl asked turning towards me.

"An hour? Seems like a long time." I grounded out looking at Rick and Carl's smiling faces.

"Well it's a lot of bodies. Burying them will take time." Daryl said.

"Okay."

"What is it?" Daryl asked.

"I don't know. I can't put my finger on it." I looked out along the field. The sun was high in the sky, it was just past midday and it was peaceful out here.

"Come on. We deserve a win." Daryl nudged me.

"I know, but since when does anything ever go our way?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You know. You're kinda bumming me out." Daryl complained making me laugh.

"I kinda exploded at Rick." Daryl dropped the headphone as I paused the music.

"Yeah?"

"When he told me about Carol, I thought. Well I thought he shoulda waited till we got back." Daryl explained.

"Yeah. I think it was rash, his actions. His heart, as always in the right place. But maybe he shoulda waited." I agreed with the archer.

"Lizzie and Micah." I sighed.

"We'll look after them." Daryl nodded at me. I looked over at the field seeing both Rick and Carl no longer there.

"Where did they go?" I asked.

"Rick said he was gonna tell Tyreese." I winced at Daryl's words, who knew how he would handle that.

Suddenly there was a big explosion sound, enough to make me and Daryl jump up from the bench. We ran over the edge of the courtyard fence, seeing the others already there. There were at least 10 cars lined up along the perimeter of the fence, with large guns attached.

"Get back!" Rick shouted pulling out his gun, he ran out with Tyreese as we all stood watching.

"Rick! Come down here. We need to talk."

We all knew that voice. Dread passed through my body as I looked fearfully towards Rick. He was back. We had all hoped that we would never see that unpleasant man again. Maggie and Beth looked shocked beside me as I took my gun out of the holster.

"It can't be." I whispered.

"It is." Rick's jaw clenched as he looked out towards the field. He was breathing heavily from the running. And I could feel his nervous energy.

"It's not up to me. There's a council now. They run this place." Rick shouted just as loudly back to him.

"Is Hershel on the council?" The Governor stood atop a large tank, with his hands on his hips.

My blood ran cold at the mention of Hershel's name. There were a number of men and women holding machine guns, pointing them straight at us. I looked at all of their faces, they didn't seem like killers. So how on earth were they following that men.

One of the women holding a sniper gun, reached into a red car and pulled out Hershel looking distraught and terrified. Maggie gasped and placed a hand over her mouth, Beth holding her arm as they looked on in horror.

"What about Michonne?" I almost stopped breathing. My heartbeat quickened faster than I could handle and I stumbled back slightly. No. Not Michonne. Out of the same car came Michonne, hands tied before her back.

Michonne and Hershel were helpless as they were lowered to their knees, at the mercy of the Governor.

"I don't make decisions anymore!" Rick called out.

"You're making the decisions today Rick."

Daryl placed a hand on my back steadying me, for which I was extremely grateful for. I needed it.

"Come down here. Let's, have that talk." The Governor paused.

I looked at Rick's face, seeing the gears turning in his head. We wanted to avoid a confrontation with the Governor, particularly as he held the upper hand in the situation. Rick nodded at Daryl decidedly placing a hand on Carl's neck affectionately.

"We can do this." He said quietly to his son. He began walking away as I jogged up to him, standing in front of him.

"You can't stop me." Rick said firmly.

"I know. I just- letting Carol go must have been hard for you. And I believe you think it was the right decision to make. We believe in you Rick, you can do this."

I placed a hand on his cheek, his beard grazing my skin. I pulled his face down gently and reached up, planting a soft kiss on his cheeks. My lips prickled from the hair on his face, I pulled back and the look in his eyes was barely discernible. It was as though he couldn't react and nodded, giving me a slight smile. I watched him walk off across the field.

I re-joined the others standing behind the fence. Sasha was giving me a look which I purposely avoided. He was bringing them back, I knew he was. They would be safe, I believed that.

"Don't worry guys. He'll get them back." I said to the rest of the group who remained silent.

I held my breath seeing him approach the outer fence perimeter. He was one man facing down the numerous cars and weapons. I believed in him, but I was sure as hell afraid for him right now.

"We can't take all of them on. We'll go through the admin building, through the woods, like we planned." Daryl whispered quietly.

"We ain't got the numbers no more. When's the last time someone checked the stash on the bus?" he asked.

"The day before we hit the Big Spot. We were running low on rations then, we're lower now." Sasha stated dismally.

"Yeah we'll manage. If things go south, everybody head for that bus." Daryl instructed.

"What if everybody isn't on it when things go bad?" Tyreese asked the dreaded question.

"How long do we wait?" he continued.

"As long as we can." Daryl said.

We watched beyond the field trying to make out the conversation between them, it was barely heard but I could make out some of it.

"Let them go. I'll stay down here. Talk as long as you want, but you let em go." Rick said in an authoritative tone.

"You got a tank, you don't need hostages." He reasoned.

"I do. And this is just to show you I'm serious. Not to blast a hole in our new home. You and your people have until sundown to get outta here, or you die." The Governor threatened.

"He'd kill us anyways." I said venomously to the others.

"It doesn't have to go down that way." Rick pleaded.

"I got more people, more firepower, we need this prison. There it is. It's not about the past, it's about right now." The Governor emphasised.

"There are children here. Some of them are sick. They won't, they won't survive." I could hear Rick's voice wavering and my heart bled for him. I wanted to be by his side, be his support.

"I have a tank, and I'm letting you walk away from here. What else is there to talk about?" There was a smile on the Governor's face.

"I wanna stick my knife in that smug bastard's mouth." I spat out angrily.

I helped Daryl move the bucket of machine guns over to where Bob was.

"You should get on the bus." Daryl said as I gave him a look.

"Worth a shot." He handed me a machine gun as he offered it to the others, hoping no one else would notice either.

"I could shoot you all. You'd shoot back I know it. But we'll win, and you'll be dead." The Governor posed calmly.

"I could aim for his head and shoot him right now." I growled angrily, remembering what he did to Maggie. How he was responsible for Andrea's death.

"Too risky." Maggie said.

"Yeah I know." I muttered.

"Like I said, its your choice." The Governor said.

Gunshots echoed out into the field, extremely loud that reverberated all the way back to us. He shot walkers down.

"The noise." Daryl said gruffly.

"We gotta do something." Carl said from beside me.

"You're dad's got it." Daryl also aimed from his machine gun.

"They're talking. We could kill the governor from right now." Carl moaned.

"As tempting as that is kid, I agree with you but I'm a little disturbed that came out of your mouth." I glanced worriedly over at Carl who rolled his eyes.

"You might end up startin' something else." Daryl, the voice of reason spoke.

"Wait shh, what is he saying?" My ears perked in disbelief.

"There's enough room for all of us." Rick spoke across the field.

"We wouldn't have to see each other until we're ready, we could live in different cell blocks." Rick negotiated.

"That would no way work." I scoffed slightly to myself.

"You know it could." Hershel joined, turning around to the Governor.

Whilst it was idealistic they believed that, there was no way the Governor could co-exist with us, not after everything that happened. No. I could never accept him after what he did to Andrea. And to Maggie.

"I know. But they're trying to find a peaceful option. It's better than the alternative, us all shootin' each other." Sasha said.

"Not after Woodbury. Not after Andrea." The Governor shook his head. Shocking, something we both agreed on.

"Look, I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Fact is, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder than standing here shooting at each other. But I don't think we have a choice." Rick exclaimed sadly.

"We don't. You do." He said simply.

"We're not leaving." Rick held his ground. We couldn't leave, who knows if we would ever find another sanctuary, another home like this again.

"We'll fight back. Like you said, the gunshots will just bring more of them out. They'll take down the fences and without the fences this place is worthless." Rick's voice was thick with emotion.

"Now, we can all live in the prison, or none of us can." Rick gave his ultimatum to the Governor. I couldn't see their expression on his face, but I knew it was one on anger. He was thinking over Rick's offer. In a sudden move he jumped off the tank and marched towards Hershel. He draw Michonne's katana and held it to the vet's neck.

"No." I whispered, cocking the gun back and taking the safety off.

I could hear Beth and Maggie's sobs from beside me as they watched their father, helpless. I looked in worry towards Hershel. No, I couldn't lose anymore people today. Hershel's eyes were downcast and his expression was one of sadness.

I held my breath, watching the scene unfold as the blade was pressed towards his neck. Rick paced back, his expression everywhere. He began pointing at the other men and women standing with the Governor.

"Is this what any of you want?" He turned his accusing finger at them, close to sobbing.

"What we want, is what you got. Period. Time for you to leave asshole." An arrogant asshole on the tank rested his arm on top of the machine gun.

"Look I fought him before. And after, we took in his old friends. They've become leaders in what we have here. Now, you put down your weapons and walk through those gates. You're one of us." Rick addressed the man.

I looked at the other men and women, sharing worried glances between each other and suddenly came to a realisation. These people were not killers. Hell I don't know how he found them, but he must have deceived them about us. I could see from here that they were having doubts, which meant Rick's words were working.

"We let go of all of it and nobody dies. Everyone who's alive right now, everyone who's made it this far. We've all done the worst kind of things, just to stay alive. But we can still come back, we're not too far gone. We get to come back. I know we all can change." Rick said passionately.

I fought the smile on my face. There was my leader. The man I followed. Right there. I thought back to what I had done to Otis, a couple of years ago now. What Carol had done to Karen and David - things we did to stay live.

His passionate speech seemed to have resonated with the Governor, who began lowering Michonne's katana. I looked over at Maggie and Beth who had hopeful smiles on their face. But it was short-lived. He swung the katana and landed it into Hershel's neck.

I lowered my gun from the shock. A pool of blood appeared on his clothes as he fell, his head hit the ground. Dead. I couldn't move, tears streamed down my face, as we all mirrored expressions of grief. Maggie and Beth cried out, sobbing violently at the sight before them.

"NO!" I heard Rick's shout followed by rapid gunfire from his gun. He injured the Governor on the shoulder before running back to us.

It was mayhem. The sound of rapid-fire machine guns filled the air. Snapping out of what had happened, I begun firing in the direction of the Governor, on the other people who were firing at us. My mind was still reeling over Hershel, I was in disbelief over what had happened.

Maggie and Beth let out cries of anguish and begun shooting at the men. Rick rolled behind the turned over bus, as though he had been shot.

In a horrific move the Governor swung the katana down into Hershel's neck who attempted to crawl away, he continued hacking until the head was separated from the body. I almost threw up gagging at the sight and cried. There were bullets flying everywhere, I ran over to Beth and Maggie both crying and shot furiously into the tank with them.

"Beth come on." My voice was shaky as I pulled them away from the fence and behind one of the buildings. The tank had knocked down the outer fence, cars were driven into the fields.

Rick. He was still there.

"I'm out of ammo!" Beth called out.

"Me too!" Maggie said dropping the gun.

"Run for the bus! I'll cover you!" I shouted.

"Are you crazy? Get to the bus!" Maggie shouted.

"I can't leave Rick." I shot more bullets aiming for the tyres of the cars.

"Go. I'm sorry." I looked at her tear-stricken face and my heart broke. They both ran towards Sasha and Tyreese who were shooting from behind an armed car.

"Get out of here! Get people onto the bus!" He called out to Bob and Sasha who ran. I joined Tyreese behind the car, shooting out into the field.

"Pol go!" He shouted.

"Rick's still out there!" My eyes scanned the field but it was utter destruction. He was nowhere to be seen. Tyreese and I backed up as the tank headed for the fence surrounding the courtyard. It broke through as we ducked behind the tables were we usually ate.

"Where's Daryl? Carl?" I asked him.

"I don't know. Maybe they made the bus!" I backed up Tyreese who reloaded. We heard a loud engine roar as we watched the bus drive out.

"Well shit." I cursed.

We had another round of gunfire on us.

"Move!" Tyreese pushed my back as we ran away from our position, a man and woman were firing furiously on us as we dove into the shrubs. The bullets were around us as Tyreese shielded me with his body. Suddenly the gunfire stopped and we looked up.

Lizzie and Micah were standing there with their guns pointed out, the woman and man now on the ground. I helped Tyreese up off the ground as the familiar growling sounds began filling the air around us.

A walker stumbled out from the open hole in the fence, snarling towards us.

"We gotta get out of here." Tyreese spoke to Lizzie and Micah.

"What about Rick?" I asked looking out towards the field.

"We need to hope he's making it out. But we gotta get the kids out of here. You understand that don't you?" Tyreese looked at me earnestly.

As much as I hated to admit it, he had a point. The kids were defenceless, but Rick I could trust to handle himself. I hope. But where was Carl? Michonne? I just hoped they made it out on the bus. I'm so sorry Rick. I looked apologetically out into the field.

"Yeah, let's go." I followed Tyreese with Lizzie and Micah, who led us over to Judith in the baby basket.

"I got her." I picked her up and wrapped her inside my jacket, she was crying through all the mayhem and destruction. I pressed my lips to her forehead, feeling the sobs wrack through my body.

"Sshh, it's okay baby." My voice wavered.

Everyone was gone. We were all separated. Alive or dead I didn't know.

"Pol we have to go. Come on." Tyreese placed a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. I looked at Tyreese, remembering Carol of all people and felt guilty.

"Yeah, let's get out of here." We snuck out of the prison and into the clearing in the woods, killing stray walkers. Lizzie and Micah were close by us, holding guns. I held Judith close to my chest, protecting her as best as I could.

"Tyreese we need to talk." I said as we stopped for a breath.

"About what?" He asked panting heavily.

I inhaled deeply before choosing my next words.

"I know who killed Karen and David."

 **A/N: Phew! Ended it on a cliffhanger for you, the next chapter is the latter half of season 4, now you guys know she's with Tyreese's group which means meet up with Carol! Also I know this story is first person Pol, but let me know if you want any Rick POVs in your reviews? Even just short snippets in between the chapters. Until next week!**


	40. Chapter 40 -, Out There In The Wild

**A/N: this is the first chapter post group split! As you well know Tyreese is with Pol and the girls and this covers episode 10 since ep9 is Rick centred. I haven't checked ahead but I think there will only be a couple chapters until season 5 because it's from Pols POV. However I may include Rick Grimes snippets.**

 **thanks to all the follows and faves for this story: Heh309, sweetbabyboo, Loki's Aunt, setsuna1415 and animeXvampirefreak3000! Also I am so pleased with the amount of reviews I got on the last chapter thank you all!**

 **Anna: haha I hope you were on the lookout for some walkers! Aww thank you so much I hope you continue to love it!**

 **Gracie miserables: I know! I watch the episodes again as I write the chapters and HershelsH death got me just as much the second time :( sure what's your question about Beth?**

 **Heh309: omg thank you! Badass was exactly what I was going for her she's vulnerable and emotional as well when it calls for it! Haha don't worry he will.**

 **Purplepecky: I know it was intense writing it! Ahh don't worry she will, they will be reunited..**

 **Ryane: yasss! It gonna be lit, we gonna get to season 5 real soon, I'm playing with the idea of having some Rick POV in the chapters.**

 **-Angels and Douchebags**

"Mika, for the last time I don't want to play I spy." I said firmly to the young girl who cowered under my glare.

Ordinarily I wouldn't mind the games with her and Lizzie, but Judith bawling her eyes out in the middle of the woods dampened my mood.

"Sweetie I know you're hungry." I rocked her in my arms as she continued to scream.

"We are too." I said glumly.

"Where's Tyreese? He should be back by now." Lizzie said scanning the tree-line.

"I don't fucking know." I said grouchily causing Lizzie to stop talking. I felt guilty immediately, looking at thier downcast faces.

"I'm sorry you guys." I said genuinely as they nodded. I sometimes forgot that they were literally just kids.

"Keep an eye out. I'm sure he'll be back soon." I tried a hopeful tone.

We kept our guards up in the small clearing in the forest, we walked through the dense growth of trees, attempting to find Tyreese. Not long after the large man came through the trees opposite looking out of breath.

"Hey. You alright?" I checked.

"Yeah I'm fine." He said over Judith's cries.

"Judith. Sshhh." I bounced her in my arms as she continued crying. Poor baby like the rest of us were starving, but we had to ration the little we had, otherwise we would starve ourselves.

It had been a few weeks since the events of the prison. Since the Governor brutally murdered Hershel. I could feel the grief wash over me at the thought of the man.

I didn't even know if any of the others were alive. There was no sign of them anywhere. Daryl, Beth, Maggie, Glenn, Sasha, Bob, Carl, Michonne. Rick. My heart cracked slightly at the thought of him. There was a good chance I would never see him again, even if he were alive.

Then there was Carol. I missed that woman like anything, what she did to Karen and David was completely and utterly wrong. But down to her core she wasn't a bad person, I missed talking to her and hoped she was okay.

"Any luck with food?" I asked as he shook his head quietly.

"Great." I muttered under my breath.

Tyreese began walking as I gestured for the girls to follow him. I led the rear of our small group of misfits. He wasn't particularly chatty to begin with, but the day I told him the truth about Carol, it's like he closed up altogether.

Weeks ago

"What?" Tyreese's eyes widened in disbelief.

"It was Carol." I repeated taking in a deep breath.

A mixture of emotions crossed his face, I could see the anger, disappointment, fear and rage expressed all at once as he took in the information.

"But why?" He almost whispered.

"She, well I think she thought that by doing that the infection wouldn't spread." I chose my words carefully, so I wouldn't be defending her.

"Polaris, she murdered them and dragged their bodies out and left them to burn." Tyreese seethed as he began walking towards me. I backed away slightly, afraid of how he would lash out.

Lizzie and Mika watched us fearfully, both of their young eyes widened in surprise unsure of what would happen next.

"I know." I whispered as Judith babbled in my arms. Tyreese backed off slightly as his eyes flitted to Judith than back to me.

"Did you know?" He asked, his voice laced with emotion.

"I only found out when I woke up. Rick was on his way to tell you, when the whole shit went down." I said calmly. But he wasn't looking at me anymore, his eyes were down on the ground, I could see the tears forming in his eyes as he clenched his fists so hard his knuckles turned white.

"Come on, we better get away from here." He said simply and led us away from the prison.

Present

Since that day, Carol's name had not even been mentioned amongst our group. Occasionally Lizzie/Mika would mention her and Tyreese would flinch like the words triggered him. But we had bigger things to worry about than Carol - who knows if she was still even alive.

We were running dangerously low on food with a crying baby. Judith kept her teeth clamped on my thumb, causing me to hiss in pain. I looked at the baby in slight annoyance but her big eyes looked back up to me and my heart melted.

It was astonishing how much she looked like Lori, my dear departed friend. I promised her that day I would take care of her family. I would keep looking for Rick and everyone else because I knew they were out there somewhere, they had to be. But this small bundle in my arms, I would protect her no matter what.

I put Judith in the rucksack and swung it around so it was in front of my chest, I removed my fingers from her mouth as she began to complain, but soon the movement of the rucksack as I walked set her to sleep.

I could hear sobbing coming in front of me and looked at the young girl in sympathy.

"Don't cry." Lizzie's voice was firm as she held the bag.

"I want Carol." Mika spoke sobbing.

My eyes glanced ahead to Tyreese who didn't seem to notice the conversation, I let out a sigh of relief.

"Well she's not here. Put this on your belt." Lizzie handed her the knife.

"But we've got Polaris with us." Lizzie turned around giving me a slight smile as I returned it.

"Sure you wanna put your hope in me?" I offered with an uneasy smile.

"Well you're what we've got. You and Tyreese." she said decidedly.

"It's gonna get dark soon. Where are we going?" She spoke to Tyreese who stopped in his tracks.

"Further. Come on." Tyreese spoke before continuing to walk. Mika caught up walking beside him as Lizzie took her place beside me.

"You know they're not really bad. They're just misguided, it's not their fault they were born from this." Lizzie stated.

"You mean the walkers?"

"Yeah. I think they're just lost." Lizzie responded.

"I guess that makes sense in a way. There is that problem of them wanting to eat us." I quipped to the young girl who looked ahead.

"The things we have to do to survive. That's tough." I said darkly.

"Do you mean what Carol did?" Lizzie's wide eyes looked up to me as I nodded.

Another hour of walking passed and nightfall approached. We set up camp against some trees with thick trunks deep in the forest. I took my place next to Tyreese as the two sisters sat beside each other.

One of his snares had worked and we managed to trap two rabbits that we could use for dinner. But the only problem was starting a fire. It would only attract attention from unsavoury creatures, and low on energy that was the last thing we needed.

I watched Lizzie play with the knife, pointing it towards the rabbits. Mika sat in silence looking sad and hopeless. Judith lying in front of us began fussing and making noise.

"They're going to hear her." Mika exclaimed worriedly.

"Judith baby, please." I pleaded rubbing her stomach, she began crying as Tyreese and I tried to calm her down.

I moved to pick her up into my arms but Tyreese stopped me.

"It's okay, I'll take her, you must be tired." Tyreese gave me a reassuring look as he rocked her in his arms, I nodded to him gratefully.

"We'll find a safe place soon. We will." He said firmly to the two young girls, Judith continued to cry as I retrieved the little baby formula we had left.

"Here." I handed him the bottle with Judith immediately began drinking, quietening her down. Mika looked instantly relieved, as she sat calmly on the log.

"You're good with babies." I smiled at the sight of the large man rocking her.

"I used to baby-sit my cousins kids." Tyreese said suddenly, as I supressed a surprised look.

Did he just share a private piece of information with me? I smiled. I call that progress, it would be much easier if he opened up to me. Over the past couple of weeks I talked his ear off about my childhood, my music tastes and hobbies just for him to respond even a little.

"What?" Tyreese asked watching my face.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you decided to share that with me." I smiled sitting opposite him.

"Yeah well we're stuck together aren't we." Tyreese grunted, but I could see the faint amusement in his eyes. I watched as he tied the piece of material over a large cut on his arm, my eyes were immediately drawn to it as he caught me looking.

"It's not a walker bite." He said immediately defensive.

"I know, just. Are you okay?" I tentatively reached my hand out towards his arm as he moved it away.

"It's fine, just got scratched on a branch." He said dismissively.

"Look, I'm not a doctor but Hershel taught me a few things." I said reassuringly, but I felt my heart crack at the mention of the vet. That seemed like a lifetime ago now, but that didn't mean I didn't miss his presence.

"Please Tyreese." I pleaded with him as he reluctantly brought his arm forwards.

I gently removed the material seeing the cut. It wasn't two deep, but it was fresh judging by the blood still dripping from it. The gash extended the good length of his forearm. I wrapped the material more tightly around his arm to stop the bleeding and allow it to heal.

"The good thing, is that it's not infected. Should heal within a few days." I explained.

"Thanks." Tyreese nodded making eye contact with me.

"No problem, makes me feel like I'm useful." I cracked a smile at him.

Unfortunately our bonding was cut off by twigs snapping from behind us.

"Walkers!" Mika whispered worriedly.

"It's alright." I calmed her, reaching to grab the bag.

"Come on, let's go." Tyreese instructed, and we were off on our feet again.

We picked up the rabbit meat Tyreese had killed and moved to another spot with denser trees. I skinned the rabbits, removing the internal organs and we started a small fire, with Tyreese keeping watch. It was a risky move, but we needed to cook the meat, I wouldn't have the girls eat raw meat, they were going to get one decent meal at least out of this.

As soon as it was cooked we sat around the log eating it.

"Wow, this tastes like chicken." Mika ate hungrily smiling into her food.

"This is good Pol." Tyreese nodded in approval as I smiled at him, pleased we were getting a decent meal.

I bet into the cooked rabbit, and after weeks of skimping food on the road, it tasted good and I was damn well going to treasure it. After we finished dinner, Judith had fallen asleep as well as Lizzie and Mika.

"I'll keep watch, you sleep." Tyreese gestured to the place beside Judith, who was laid down on a mat.

"But-" I was silenced by a harsh look from Tyreese.

"I'll wake you in a few hours."

...

True to his word he woke me up at almost dawn, I desperately craved more sleep but as soon as I looked in Tyreese's eyes and the multitudes of bags underneath them I sobered up and took watch.

It was fairly uneventful save for a few stragglers that ventured close to camp. I could hear the snarling and heavy footsteps from a while away. I saved the bullets for my colt as Tyreese kept the ones for his rifle. It was precious ammunition for dire situations and we couldn't afford to waste it.

I stared at one of the walkers who reached his arm out towards me, dirty decaying fingers with the festering flesh trying to reach me. I sighed and took my machete, chopping the head off the walker as it slumped to the ground.

Walking the short distance back to our camp, I sat against the tree-stump. The sun was beginning to rise which meant it was soon time for us to set off again. We had no direction, we didn't know where we were going, we only knew that we had to survive and find a safe place.

I wonder what Glenn and Maggie are doing right now? I hoped they were safe and with each other. If Sasha, Bob and Beth were also together and not alone. If Daryl was by himself I knew he'd survive, he would be able to handle it I just knew it.

Maybe Michonne had found Rick, I knew she would take care of him for me. And for Carl, he was getting extremely fond of her too. And Carol. Where was she?

But of course I didn't know any of that, they may not have been alive even. No. I couldn't think like that. It was the only thing that kept me going through the long weary days, the endless silences between us, the unspoken worries and concerns.

I didn't even have my leather journal on me, I couldn't read or recount any of the events that had happened. All the books were sitting back in my cell, along with my clothes. Funnily enough I had my CD player, with the one CD I was listening to that day the prison got taken.

It had about five songs on it, but I knew the batteries on it would soon need changing, however stuck in this godforsaken forest we couldn't find food or even water let alone batteries. I still couldn't bring myself to throw away the extra weight of it, it was one thing that had stayed with me through the beginning of this whole damn apocalypse and I used it as a reminder of how we used to live.

I settled for practising my shadow boxing. Since I had oodles of spare time, I might as well perfect it to the best of my ability as there was no telling when I may need to use it. I focused on my breathing technique and allowed myself to become immersed in the fighting.

A few hours later, I roused the other members of our group and we began the long march again. The forest looked the same from every direction, but I noticed the trees became less dense and the green foliage of bushes began appearing around.

"This might be a good sign." I walked by Tyreese who held Judith.

"What do you mean?" He asked, the baby was still in his arms.

"Less trees, more bushes. We might be approaching some sort of civilisation?" I suggested.

"Maybe." Tyreese said unsure.

Judith began fussing which I knew was the beginning of her crying. She let out whimpers before screaming in terror once more in Tyreese's arms.

"Sshh, it's ok." Tyreese said bouncing her.

"Look, grapes!" Mika exclaimed happily as the two girls ran over to the bush.

"Can we eat them?" She asked us.

"Yeah they're good." Tyreese approved as I nodded.

"Shall I make some more milk?" I asked, watching helplessly as she settled down to crying.

"It might be something else." Tyreese lifted her up.

"Here Lizzie. Have some." Mika gave it to the girl as they ate the grapes happily.

"Pol, Tyreese." Mika handed us some grapes as I smiled at her. I ate the grapes hungrily, relishing in how sweet they were. My throat burned slightly as the taste of the sickly sweet fruit trickled down.

"Sshh baby girl." Tyreese whispered comfortingly.

I sniffed, smelling a bad odour in the air. More walkers. I was on alert as I scanned the trees.

"What's that smell?" My eyes landed in Judith as Tyreese smelled her.

"Lizzie, hand me a diaper." I stated.

We sat her down on the mat, as Judith was crying and Tyreese began to change her.

"Hang on, stay with me Judith." Tyreese said calmly as she took her baby grow off.

"Let me, I've changed her a few times." I nudged Tyreese who moved to the side.

"Nearly there Judith." I took off the dirty diaper throwing it away, before placing the new one on her. I unfolded the sticky tabs and stuck the diaper down so it was secure, putting Judith's leggings back on proved to be difficult, but we managed it.

"They're gonna hear her." Mika said worriedly.

Tyreese picked up the baby as she continued to cry wildly and even louder than before. Mika was right, something or someone was going to hear and then we would be in trouble.

"All right, what do you want?" Tyreese faced her towards him in his arms.

"Come on." Tyreese shushed and rubbed her neck as I packed the things in the bag. I looked around in the small clearing we were in, searching for any threats around us.

"They're coming!" Mika scratched Tyreese's arm straight onto his cut causing him to cry out in pain.

"I heard it Mika!" He said frustrated.

"Don't yell at her! She doesn't understand Walkers!" Lizzie snapped at him as Judith's crying only intensified.

"This isn't helping guys." I whined taking the baby from Tyreese.

"Take care of her a minute." He took his knife out and reached towards the bush were the sound was coming from. A bunch of crows flew out of the bush, causing Mika to take off into the woods.

"Mika come back!" I called out worriedly to the girl.

The three of us with Judith took off, running after her hoping she hadn't gotten too far.

"Mika!" Tyreese called out as we stopped in the trees.

"You yelled at her, now she's gone!" Lizzie complained.

"Hey, we'll find her." I said gently squeezing her hand.

We walked forward once more as Mika revealed herself from behind the tree trunk. She walked towards us, her eyes downcast.

"Oh Mika, you're okay." I hugged the girl who wrapped her arms around me tightly.

"It's okay." I rubbed her back soothingly.

"Are you okay?" Tyreese asked concerned.

"I got scared." Mika looked at the ground.

"You did the right thing running." Tyreese bent down to her.

"When you see or hear a Walker you run." Tyreese said to both of them.

"But when you're in a group, you gotta try and stay close to them. Okay?" he checked as Mika smiled.

Judith babbled in agreement causing the four of us to smile, she was no longer crying and rested quietly in my arms. Mika touched Tyreese's hand.

"You're bleeding, did I hurt your arm bad?" Mika asked fearfully.

"It was a lot worse earlier on. But Pol fixed me up. No big." He shrugged it off smiling at me.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm not like Lizzie." Mika said sadly.

"Don't be sorry. You each do things your own way, but you both get it done." Tyreese said gently.

"Don't ever apologise for being you. That's who you are, and I think who you are is amazing." I handed Judith to Tyreese, smiling down at Mica.

"Am I like you and Sasha?" She asked Tyreese.

"You're not like Sasha." Lizzie spoke up.

"Why not?"

"Because you're still here and Sasha isn't." Lizzie said, my eyes inadvertently flitted to Tyreese, whose face changed at the mention of his sister.

But before we had the chance to respond, there was screaming coming off from different directions. That was no walker or animal. That sounded human. Tyreese faced Lizzie and Mica back to back, handing Judith off to Lizzie.

"What are you doing?" Lizzie asked fearfully.

"I'm making sure you can see in both directions. You stay like this and you keep watch." He said to the sisters.

"Where are you going?" I placed a hand on his forearm, pulling out my machete.

"Whoever that is, they may be from the prison, I need to help them." He emphasised.

"You keep an eye on them and let me go see, I know that cut is bothering you." I argued, as another faint scream could be seen.

"No, you need to protect the girls. Please Pol, you've always been better at it than me. I know you can do it." Tyreese pleaded quietly looking into my eyes.

"Fine. But I don't like it." I relented as I stood guard around them.

"Mika, tuck your shirt behind your knife, so it's easier to grab." Lizzie instructed her calmly.

Tyreese and I both looked at her incredulously.

"We'll be okay." She said reassuringly, Tyreese handed the gun over to Mica as she held it fearfully.

"When the Walkers come, Pol don't be a hero. You run, together and towards me." Tyreese said.

"Yeah, yeah I hear you." I replied.

"But I'm glad you think of me as a hero." I winked causing Tyreese to shake his head.

"Girls listen to Pol. Only fire if you have to, otherwise stay right here until I get back." He commanded.

"Please don't go." Mika whimpered.

"Mika, look at me. You can handle this, you're tough." Tyreese nodded at her before he took off in the woods.

Judith was quiet in Lizzie's arms, she barely moved and made no noises, she was happy being held. Content. Well that made one of us. Taking down walkers I had no problem with, but I was by myself in the wild with three young, scare children. I had to focus and concentrate.

"Will he come back?" Mica asked.

"He will." I reassured her, scanning the woods for zombies.

"You don't know that. He might not." Lizzie stated.

"He will." I said firmly. I had to believe it.

After a short while, the baby was off again crying loudly.

"They're gonna hear us!" Mica whined.

"Lizzie do something." Mica complained her gun out in front of her. Lizzie placed her hand over Judith's nose and mouth, there was a certain concentration and frustration to her movements. Suddenly there was a snapping sound coming from the twigs in the trees beyond us.

"Lizzie, no she can't breath." I said to the young girl.

I looked around at the trees, seeing no walkers yet but Judith's cries were still muffled. Lizzie was putting pressure in her hands, as if she was intentionally trying to stop Judith breathing.

"Lizzie no." I said angrily as I removed her hand from Judith's face forcefully, my eyes looking at her in concern. What was that? I'm sure it was a mistake, I shrugged but watched her more carefully nonetheless.

Two walkers stumbled out of the forest clearing straight in front of Lizzie. I took out the machete and made quick work of them, their heads rolled on the ground lifeless. Two more walkers appeared in front of Mica who took the safety of.

"Mica no!" But she had already pressed the trigger, and the loud gunshot echoed in the trees around us. The bullet hit the shoulder of the walker as they continued stumbling towards us.

All of a sudden we were surrounded and even I couldn't handle cutting down that many walkers at once.

"Take Judith and run!" I shouted at them, slashing through the walkers that were coming towards us.

"He told us to stick together!" Mica cried.

Suddenly I could hear a knife slashing through Walker flesh as I looked around. The walkers around us were being cut down as they all fell to the ground one by one.

"No." I whispered in shock, at the woman in front of me.

"Carol?" I ran towards her, overcome with emotion enveloping her with a hug. Carol wrapped her arms around me.

...

"But how?" I asked her as we walked through the woods in the direction Tyreese had gone.

"I've been living out here, surviving." She replied. Both Lizzie and Mica were even happier to see their surrogate mother, now calm and feeling protected.

"You-you killed Karen and David." I said suddenly taking a few steps away from her with Judith in my arms.

"Pol, you have to understand why I did it." Carol stopped walking as her kind eyes washed over me.

"I was trying to protect you all." She said defensively.

"By killing two of our own?" I exclaimed.

"I'm not proud of it. But it had to be done." She said firmly and walked through the trees.

"You're not even remotely sorry?" I asked incredulously.

"Of course I am, it was the hardest thing I had to do. We've all done things we're not proud of." Carol looked at me pointedly, referring to the incident with Shane and Otis.

"That's not fair Carol." I said angrily. "But you're right to an extent."

"I know, I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong. I stand by my decision." Carol decided.

"Tyreese knows. He's with us, I told him. I couldn't keep it a secret." I said glancing at her.

"I saw it coming." Carol nodded, but I could detect the glimmer of fear in her eyes.

"Why are you all out here? What happened to everyone and the prison?" She changed subject.

"The Governor. He led a full on attack, he murdered Hershel." I said darkly, the tears threatening to spill over again.

"Oh God. I'm sorry." She apologised as I shook my head.

"After that, we all got separated. Been on our own for a few weeks." I explained.

"Look Carol, I'm not saying what you did was right. It was completely wrong by my account, but I'm in no position to judge you. I am glad to see you and I love you. I hope you know that." I squeezed her hand as she gave me a faint smile.

"But I can't tell you, how Tyreese is gonna react."

...

We came out into a clearing in the forest, and found Tyreese standing on some railway tracks. There were dead walkers littered around, as his axe was bloody and filled with decaying flesh.

"Oh you're safe. I heard a gunshot." Tyreese sighed in relief seeing the three of us. I stepped aside to reveal Carol who looked apprehensively at the large man.

A range of emotions contorted across his face as he watched Carol. I could see him shaking from the anger and fury, he clenched and unclenched his fists.

"What are you doing here?" He asked quietly.

"I-I heard the gunshot, thought somebody was in trouble. So I helped." Carol stuttered, she was looking nervous and there was emotion in her eyes.

"We wouldn't be standing here without her." I added, hoping it would help her case.

Tyreese looked at us and without another word walked forwards, I sighed deeply in relief that he hadn't killed her. But the tensions between them would be innumerably high for a while, I had to stay vigilant, I was still in two minds about letting her stay but this was Carol. I didn't think she would harm us. We walked towards the bloody man who was knelt down.

"Stay on the tracks." he said, his eyes filled with pain, there was a large bite on the side of his neck, he was a goner.

"Out on the tracks we're exposed." I said.

"The woods have more cover." Carol took Judith from me, holding her in her arms.

"No. You don't understand, there's a place up the tracks. It's safe, you can- you can take the children there." The man shook his head.

Lizzie and Mica looked at each other hopefully as I glanced with disbelief at Carol and Tyreese. Knowing our luck, we'd never find it. But we had to take the chance of a good safe place, we needed it.

"Trust me. Please follow the tracks." The man whimpered.

We turned around and began walking down the tracks, away from the death. Mica was holding Tyreese's hands, who hadn't said a word to any of us least of all Carol who had the good sense to walk behind us.

"I didn't leave Lizzie." Mica told him.

"See now? Tough little lady." Tyreese smiled down at her. I held Judith in my arms as Carol passed me catching up to Tyreese.

"Hey, there's some water in there and some food." She shrugged off the backpack as Tyreese reluctantly took it off her. He grunted in response and took the rucksack, walking far ahead of her.

I looked at Carol and I could see now the deep regret and guilt in her eyes. It would take a long time for Tyreese to forgive her, if he ever did.

"Well you're on the right track to gaining his forgiveness." I nudged her, as her eyes were tinged with sadness.

"I knew you'd come back." Lizzie smiled at Carol, as Carol placed a hand on her face.

"How did you find us anyhow?" I asked her.

"I saw the end, when the prison was on fire. I saw you run off into the woods, then I lost you." Carol said.

"You've found us now." I said firmly.

She had done some bad things. But she was still the Carol I loved, that didn't mean I condoned what she did. But we all did desperate things to survive. Lizzie walked ahead and held hands with her sister, until we came to an overhead bridge and a large signpost.

"Look." Lizzie said.

The five of us with Judith gathered around.

"Sanctuary for all, community for all. Those who arrive, survive." Lizzie smiled hopefully.

Tyreese looked at me with a small smile as I returned it. There was a large map with different thick black lines converging on one spot.

Terminus.

 **A/N: ooof We're gonna get to it now!**


	41. Chapter 41 - Rick Grimes Is A Coward

**A/N: It's Monday which means chapter uploads! And we have hit 200k words and over 100 reviews! I never thought I would get this far with the story and for sure thought I would give up! But I'm glad it's still going and I'm grateful to you guys who read it. So thank you!**

 **Got a couple of chapters until the reunion for the beginning of season 5 so not long to go! I'm a bit meh about this chapter, its a little messy but I hope I've done alright. The first bit of this chapter is a Rick POV and refers to a scene in episode 11. Episode 11-13 is daryl, beth, Maggie, glenn, rick, carl and the others, it also introduces Abraham Tara and Rosita. So from Pol's pov it's gonna pick up from episode 14, it only covers the first half because there's a lot going on. I hope you guys enjoy!**

 **Thanks to RebornRose1992 for following my story! And thank you to my lovely reviewers!**

 **Heh309: I love Carol! This chapter was so hard for me to write because I had no idea how to write Pol, as in how she would react to Carol etc. I hope this sheds some light, whilst she obviously doesn't excuse Carol's behaviour. Pol's done shit too that's questionable (Otis season 2) so she's not in a position to judge. Similarly I obviously had to make stuff tense between Tyreese and Carol because he already knows.**

 **Ryane: Terminus can suck it! A little hint, that Pol may not have as much involvement in that but I will be shedding some light on it from Rick's POV because I enjoyed that.**

 **RebornRose1992: Haha here it is for you!**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

Rick's POV

Rick Grimes considered himself a lucky man. He was alive, his son was alive and Michonne had also found them. They were living in this house together, limiting their runs outside as it was a safe place.

But he didn't stop thinking about Polaris. Oh every time her face was conjured by his mind, he could feel his heart beat faster and the bottom of his stomach dropped. He didn't even know if she was out there. If she was alive.

All he knew was that he would live with regret. He rebuffed and rejected her affections, when he knew he was a coward.

Rick Grimes was a coward. Is a coward. Rick Grimes is a motherfucking coward.

He tried to ignore his growing feelings for her, to focus on surviving. And when she started to show her own, he felt nervous but excited. Exhilarated she felt the same, but the memory of Lori kept appearing in his mind.

So he ignored his feelings and hurt hers. And now he would never be able to tell her how he really felt.

Rick made a promise to himself that day standing in the kitchen of that house. If he ever saw her again, he would tell her.

He would tell he how he really felt about her. He turned his head to the door, the sounds of Carl's laughter filling the air. At least in all this, his son was able to enjoy himself. Besides Pol, Carl was attached to Michonne. The way he latched himself to her presence even in the prison was surprising, and now even more so that she had found him.

Carl astonished Rick many times over. How cold he acted towards him in the prison, the latent frustration apparent as they escaped together. But this easy going side to Carl, the kid who ate 112 ounces of pudding was the one he wished he could be.

At least if Carl didn't open up to Rick as often, he had Pol. Or now he had Michonne, who was making me laugh. Doing a damn sight better than Rick was. He thought bitterly to himself.

"You alright?" Michonne walked in wearing new clothes, she had found around the house.

Rick was stuck wearing his bloody clothes, his face still bruised and cut up from altercations with the Governor and with walkers.

"Yeah, I guess." Rick shrugged as Michonne sat at the table, his thoughts reverting back to a certain woman.

"She's alive." Michonne said determinedly, referring to the woman she knew Rick was thinking of.

"You don't know that." Rick glanced at the ground, feeling embarrassed he wore his emotions so plainly, usually so well hidden.

"No, but I have to have faith." Michonne clasped her hands together.

"don't you?" She looked over to him.

"I don't know. I just don't." Rick shook his head hopelessly.

End of Rick's POV

I rolled over on the wooden planks in between the old rail tracks. We had been following the path for a good while but the light of day quickly faded and we were forced to camp underneath an overhead metal bridge.

It was uncomfortable as hell, but Mika was nestled besides Tyreese all sleeping soundly. I was lying down a little further away from them, unable to adapt to our harsh sleeping conditions even though I was absolutely exhausted.

I huffed in annoyance and got up, joining Lizzie and Carol who were keeping watch.

"Can't sleep?" Carol watched me approach her with an amused expression on her face as she cradled a sleeping Judith in her arms.

"It's not funny. And no." I sat down on the other side of Lizzie in exasperation.

"You okay Lizzie?" I checked with the young girl who was looking out into the forest.

"You can sleep Lizzie. I'm ok." Carol gave her a fond smile.

"If there's trouble I can take Judith. I can help." Lizzie's wide eyes turned around to face her.

I tried to keep the worried expression off my face. I know what happened the last time she tried to take care of Judith, it could be that I was delirious from the lack of food and sleep but it was almost like she tried to stop her breathing.

I talked to Carol about it a few days ago, turns out I wasn't the only one noticing her alarming behaviour.

"You really think you can help me?" Carol tried to play it off as a joke.

"I know I can, ma'am." Lizzie replied assuredly.

"Do you guys think there will be kids there. At Terminus?" She asked after a while.

"Well we don't know what we'll find there." I frowned pushing my knees up to their chest.

"If their parents kept them safe, like Tyreese and Pol kept you all safe." Carol answered more hopefully.

"I kept Tyreese and Pol safe. There were people shooting at them. I shot them, first a man and then a woman. I didn't mean to shoot her in the head." Lizzie looked troubled.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. It had seemed so long ago I almost forgot about that. She had saved us.

"Yes you did." I gave her a warm smile.

"You had to, you saved them." Carol smiled.

"Maybe, there's other kids there. Even if their parents couldn't keep them safe, maybe they kept their parents safe." Lizzie stated.

"Did you have kids?" She asked Carol suddenly.

I looked at Carol, a brief moment of shock and hurt passed over her face but it was quickly replaced by a small smile. Sophia, Atlanta, Shane, it all seemed so long ago now and insignificant.

"A kid. A daughter." Carol answered.

"What was she like?"

Of course it was natural for Lizzie to be curious about Sophia, but I was worried it would bring up old memories, open up old wounds for Carol. Then I remembered it was Carol, she was strong and didn't let anything faze her.

"She was sweet. Didn't have a mean bone in her body." Carol paused in thought, her eyes glassy.

"Is that why she isn't here now?"

"Yeah." Carol replied her voice wavering.

"Do you miss her?" Lizzie questioned again.

"Every day." Carol looked outwards towards the rail tracks.

I gave her a sad smile when she returned her attention back to us.

"Did you ever have kids?" Lizzie asked.

"No." I shook my head.

"What about a family?" She innocently asked. I froze for a moment, remembering my horrible father, all the years of torture and pain we endured from him.

"Not really." I answered uneasily.

"Go to sleep Lizzie. Lie down next to your sister." Carol urged her.

"I'll need you tomorrow." Lizzie gave Carol a hug and me a smile before she went and settled down in the tracks.

"You alright?" Carol asked as I nodded.

"You?" I asked as she mimicked my actions.

"Just dredged up old memories." I said, tracing the old scar on my back.

"Yeah. We gotta focus in the now anyhow." Carol shrugged.

"Speaking of, have you talked to Tyreese yet?" I asked her.

"No, he won't even look at me. How is he supposed to forgive me? I killed his girlfriend." She said quietly.

"Well you need to tell him all the stuff you told me. Like you're remorseful and you regret it." I explained.

"Because I can see the guilt is bothering you, it's eating you up." I looked at her in concern.

"We've got more important things to focus on anyways. Like getting to Terminus." Carol said dismissively.

...

"Is it hurting?" I sat beside Tyreese the next morning, taking the linens off his cut.

"No, it stings slightly when I bend it." Tyreese flexed his forearm.

I looked at the cut, which was taking unexpectedly long to heal. It was open slightly and there was a sliver of red emerging from it.

I looked back at Carol and Lizzie who were making a hole into the tree.

"You guys still not talking huh." I stated looking back at the man beside me.

"She killed Karen and David. I'm not going to forgive her just like that." A look of anger passed over his face.

"I know." I tentatively placed my hand on his forearm calming him down.

"I know it's been a while since it happened, but I still think about her everyday." Tyreese looked at the rail-track.

"I know buddy." I patted him on his arm.

"I hope everyone is still alive. I hope they're safe."

A few minutes later Carol emerged with a amber liquid on her silver knife.

"Tree sap?" I asked as she knelt down before Tyreese.

"Yeah, it should stop the infection from spreading and bring the fever down." Carol replied.

Tyreese angled his position away from her, there was still a tense atmosphere between them since the revelation. Carol moved the knife closer to the cut.

"May I?" She asked for permission from him as he grunted in response.

"Take that as a yes." I gestured for her, as she laced the liquid over the wound. Tyreese flinched in pain she spread a thick even layer.

"It burns." He gritted his teeth together.

"Sorry." Carol mumbled apologetically.

"How far out from Terminus are we?" I asked the two of them. Carol finished with the tree sap as I tore a strip of my t-shirt from the sleeves, leaving me sleeveless underneath my leather jacket.

I wrapped the clean cloth over the wound as Tyreese looked at me gratefully.

"3 days? 4 days out?" Tyreese suggested.

"I'm not sure. We haven't passed any more of those maps at the railway crossings, we could be a lot further for all we know." I shrugged.

"Lizzie's tough." Tyreese looked over warmly at the young girl sitting by her sister.

"Yeah with people." Carol commented causing Tyreese to look at her strangely.

"What do you mean?" He directed his question towards Carol. I glanced in surprise at the other woman, her expression equally shocked that he had spoken directly to her.

"She's confused about the walkers." Carol replied.

"Yeah I noticed that too. Back at the prison, when people were infected. Me and Hershel saw it." I felt a pang of sadness at the mention of him. I wish he was here, he would know the right things to say, what to do. I missed him.

"She doesn't see what they are, she thinks they're just different." Carol said.

"Yeah well she's young still. You can't expect her to understand fully." Tyreese said passive aggressively.

Carol chose not to answer, it was best not to anger him any further. They had made progress today, and that made me slightly hopeful.

We were off once again, walking along the rail tracks. Carol was making pleasant conversation with the girls about Tom Sawyer, leaving me with Tyreese to walk at the back. I looked inside his rucksack, laughing fondly at the baby sucking her fingers.

"What?" Tyreese raised an eyebrow.

"She looks so goddamn cute in there, I wish I could take a picture. Show it to Rick and Carl." I smiled widely before my face fell.

"If we ever saw them that is." The mood dropped around us.

"Mika and Lizzie look like they're in better spirits." Tyreese pointed out as the girls laughed and walked with Carol.

"She was close with them, she used to read to them back at the prison. Kind of like their surrogate mum." I smiled at Carol interacting with the girls. I looked back at Tyreese who maintained a serious expression.

"I'm sorry. I forget how hard this is on you, I should've talked to you before automatically letting Carol back with us." I apologised as Tyreese shook his head.

"S'alright. I know you go way back with her. And she did save you, so that's something." Tyreese acknowledged.

Carol turned around and began walking back towards us.

"We need to stop for water, I'll take Mika with me to help. You guys stay here." Carol instructed.

"I can go find it." Tyreese asserted.

"You've got a fever, and you should rest that arm." Carol suggested.

Tyreese's jaw twitched as he looked at Carol with an incredulous expression.

"Fine." He grounded out.

The four of us settled down against the trunks of large trees along the track, as Carol and Mika went to go find us some water. I held Judith in my arms, rocking her as she fussed and moved. I was thankful she hadn't started her screaming yet, because then we'd be in real trouble.

I bounced her in my arms, blowing raspberries on her tummy as she giggled.

"Who's a good baby?"

"Yes you are." I cooed, rubbing my nose against her face.

"Judy. Judy Judy bo-budy." I started singing causing Tyreese to look at me strangely.

"What?" I looked at both of them.

"The name-game?" I glanced at Lizzie who shook her head innocently.

"Oh come on guys, none of you?" I looked at them disbelievingly.

There was faint growling coming up ahead from the tracks.

"Mood-killer." I groaned as Tyreese began to stand.

"Sit." I said sternly handing Judith to him. I pulled out my machete and looked at the walker, it's leg bone had snapped and it was lying helplessly between the tracks, unable to move snapping it's jaw at me.

"Sorry sack of shit." I shook my head about to thrust my knife into the head.

"No! Sometimes we have to kill them. But sometimes we don't." I turned around watching Lizzie come up behind me.

"Okay, that's true. But this one could unexpectedly hurt any one of us. It could get you or me, Judith, Tyreese, Carol. Even Mika. So even if it doesn't look like much of a threat, it still can be." I explained calmly.

"You're wrong. It's not doing anything." Her tone was emotional.

"Sorry Lizzie, I can't risk that." I thrusted the knife into the neck of the zombie, it's growling stopped immediately. Lizzie looked at me as if I had betrayed her as she stomped back to Tyreese.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, following her as Carol and Mika came barrelling out of the woods, looking excited.

"Look what we found!" Mika shouted.

We had been exceptionally lucky. Finding the small cottage was a stroke of pure luck. Carol led us through the treeline until we came out to a clearing and then stood the house behind a fence of barbed wire.

"There's a well full of water, the walls aren't much but it's better than nothing. There's deer lurking in the woods so we could hunt one." Carol said optimistically.

"What are those?" Mika pointed to the nuts.

"Pecans."

"It almost seems too good to be true." I said unsure looking at the property.

"We could stay here a day or two, before moving on to Terminus." Even Tyreese was looking in better spirits than before as he looked at the house.

"There's a fire." I looked at the thick column of dark grey smoke which was rising into the air.

"Maybe that's what's drawing out the deer." Carol stated.

"I wonder how it started." Tyreese followed our line of sight.

"You stay out here with Judith. Me and Carol can clear the house." I said to Tyreese who reluctantly stayed with the girls.

"There's one in there." Carol said as I joined her at the door.

"It's movin' a little. We could go from room to room, clear it out carefully if we're quiet." Carol planned.

"Mika and Lizzie, you guys keep watch while Tyreese looks after Judith. Pull out your guns." Carol ordered them as they pulled out their weapons.

"Ready?" I looked at Carol who nodded holding her knife. I pulled out my own machete and opened the door quickly scanning the environment.

Carol nodded at me as I stepped into the house. The floorboards creaked slightly as we attempted to be as light-footed as possible. It was an ordinary looking house, there was broken furniture scattered in the reception area. We moved to a living room, the sofas were intact and there was an old TV pushed into one corner.

"Clear." I whispered as we moved to the next room.

"Where's that walker gone?" I said quietly. We could hear it's moans and shuffles a few minutes ago, but it seemed to have disappeared.

Suddenly there were three rapid gunshots from outside. We forgot the house and ran outside seeing a walker on the ground, with smoke coming out of the barrel of Mika's gun.

"Are you alright?" I placed a hand on her shoulder as she nodded.

"You protected them Mika." I smiled at her.

Judith was crying in Tyreese's arms as he attempted to calm her down.

"SShh I got you baby girl." Tyreese whispered rocking her.

"You guys okay?" I checked with them as Tyreese nodded. He took the crying baby inside the house, to not draw any more attention towards them.

"Why are you upset Lizzie? You scared?" Carol asked the young girl who was sobbing.

"No." Lizzie's voice wavered.

"Then why are you crying?" Carol demanded more forcefully.

"I don't want to say." Lizzie ran off in and sat down on the metal bench. Mika followed her and placed a hand on her sister's back.

I shared a worried look with Carol as we watched them.

"She's young still. It might be her way of coping with all this." I gestured around.

"Whatever it is, she needs to understand fast. Mika does and she's younger." Carol said concerned.

"Just look at the flowers Lizzie, like you're supposed to. Count with me." Mika rubbed a hand on her back, calming down her fast breathing.

"One. Two. Three." There were brightly coloured flowers just to the side of them.

We made our way inside the house and set up our packs around in the living room. Evening hit and we got a fire going, Carol had crushed multiple pecans which we ate for dinner and we put Judith to sleep. The other four settled in the living room whilst I wondered around the house trying to find the bedrooms.

I walked around slowly, we already cleared the rest of the house but I wanted to be sure. I walked into one of the empty rooms. There was a double bed. I frowned, this must've been a husband and wife's room. There were some picture frames on the wall of a beautiful young couple smiling happily into the camera.

In another picture was a brown haired baby boy, with wide eyes and a big smile. I felt tears form around my eyes. Families like these destroyed by the damn apocalypse. And now I was never going to be able to start one of my own.

I shook my head out of the self-pitying. I had a family, the group are my family and they had to still be out here somewhere. I had to hold out hope for them, so I could keep going. For Judith, Carol, Tyreese and the girls. I wandered into another room which was painted a sky blue colour. There were stuffed toys dotted around the room and the crib in one corner. The baby.

The room held too much pain as I walked into another one. There was a single bed in one corner with a few pillows, a desk and a large wardrobe on the opposite wall.

The room was bare but it was neat and tidy. I sat down on the bed, fingering the duvet. It was soft. I laid my head back against the bed, sinking into the comfort. We were lucky enough to find something like this. I was grateful.

A short while later I made my way back to the living room finding Tyreese in an armchair, Judith sleeping in a crib, Mika playing with a doll and Carol with Lizzie crushing pecans.

"Guys, the beds are amazing." I whistled, as we set up small lamps around the room.

"The girls can take the double bed in the big room if they want." I suggested to Carol who agreed. I settled down on the ground beside Mika who held a red haired doll.

"We should live here." Mika said.

I gave Tyreese a small smile as he sighed contently into the chair.

"It's been a long time since I've been in a living room, in a house." he said as Carol smiled at him.

"It's nice."

...

The next day, I woke up on the heavenly bed I slept in. And it was the best night of sleep I had gotten in weeks.

I allowed myself to lounge a little longer before I reluctantly got up out of bed and opened the wardrobe which had a few clothes strewn about.

"Someone owned too many dresses." I muttered to myself. They were brightly coloured floral designs which did not appeal to me at all.

"Come on give me some T-shirts and jeans." I sifted through the rack of clothes until I landed on the most plain looking ones I could find.

I walked downstairs to find our little cottage rather empty with Carol in the kitchen. She was boiling water in a kettle over a gas stove.

"Good morning." Carol said to me inspecting a map on the table.

"Hey." I came and sat opposite her.

"What's Lizzie doing outside?" I glanced outside the window seeing her run around with a stick and laughing loudly.

"Oh shit." My face dropped.

Carol followed my line of sight as we both gasped in shock. Jumping up from our seats, I grabbed my machete and ran outside.

"You get away from it! Right now Lizzie." Carol screamed at her as Lizzie stood between the walker and us.

"No, no, no, no. No no no." Lizzie held her hands out as the walker lunged towards her.

"Lizzie!" I called out as I pushed her towards the ground, landing besides her.

Carol tackled the walker, stabbing it in the head with her knife, effectively killing it.

"No!" Lizzie screamed in distraught as I looked at her disbelievingly.

"She was playing with me, she wanted a friend." Lizzie got up crying.

"Lizzie, are you mad? You could've been hurt." I exclaimed helping Carol up from the ground.

"She wanted to kill you." Carol shouted at her.

"I was gonna lead her away." Lizzie continued defending.

"You were going to die!" Carol was losing her temper now.

"It's the same thing. You killed her! You killed her! It's the same thing! What if I killed you?" Lizzie screamed into Carol's face.

I pulled her arm back as she shoved me off harshly.

"You don't understand!" She screamed at me.

"Lizzie. Lizzie." Carol said calmly now, sympathy in her eyes.

"Lizzie stop." I said firmly as she shoved me. I stumbled back a few steps as she continued screaming at Carol. Carol took her anger and frustration, just looking at Lizzie sadly.

Lizzie began hyperventilating harshly and took deep breaths in before she fell to the ground and began crying over the walker. Carol shook her head and looked at me, as I watched Lizzie fearfully.

There was something unnerving about her. Something completely terrifying. And shit if it didn't scare me like hell.

 **A/N: This chapter has less action and more dialogue, also I feel its a little all over. But I hope you guys like!**


	42. Chapter 42 - Look At The Flowers Lizzie

**A/N: So you know when fanfic authors are like oh this is hot off the press? Well I literally finished writing this chapter about 30 seconds ago. I got into it, it's a very action driven, emotionally packed chapter and covers the second half of episode 14. A lot happens I know and character development guys, gotta love it! I believe the next chapter is reunion time so there's that to look forward too after this emotional one. You have been warned.**

 **Much love to Kazumikit who favourited my story! Welcome. And to my lovely reviewers:**

 **RebornRose1992: Without further ado, your wish is my command...**

 **Gracie Miserables: Sorry, I know they add a lot of value to the group but this story is canon so I'm going to have to disappoint you. I hope you like this chapter though!**

 **Purplepecky: Haha yeah I just wanted to put his POV in to confirm what everyone else already knew. That Rick likes her, oh don't worry they'll see each other soon. As for how the reunion happens, well you'll have to wait and see.**

 **Ryane: I think Lizzie's fate was so tragic and her character was so beautifully written. I think it's creative the way they did it, how the effects of the state of the world can psychologically damage a child's mind. I think their reality made her that way, they were too young to understand what's going on. Mika adapted to it, but unfortunately lizzie couldn't.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Chain by Fleetwood Mac**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

I sat on the porch of the house, holding Judith who was holding one of the peaches we had found in the kitchen. Luckily enough the couple who lived in the house, had a few boxes of food and an entire well of fresh water.

Carol and Mika had gone out to hunt deer which we would hopefully get to dinner. And Lizzie, well I had no idea where she went but my guess was she was in the house sulking. Judith meanwhile was happily sitting in my lap as she dropped the peach on the ground.

I looked at the baby with my eyebrows raised as her wide eyes glanced up to me.

"Well if you won't eat it. I will." I shrugged as the sweet juice filled my mouth.

"You are missing out." I pointed out to Judith who raised her arms up questioningly.

"They're good aren't they." Tyreese walked past me with a bucket in his hands.

"Getting water?" I asked as he nodded.

"Need help?" He paused for a moment as I got up with Judith following him to where the well was. Tyreese had recovered from his fever well, considering the food we found, he was regaining his strength and soon we would move on to Terminus.

There was an old water pump by the well as I sat Judith on a mat on the grass.

"I've been thinking," Tyreese began talking, he pulled the handle of the water pump by the well and sat as the bucket filled up.

"Maybe we don't need to go to Terminus. Mika's right, we can stay here. We can live here." I looked at Tyreese in mild surprise and Judith began clapping her hands together.

"I know Lizzie and Mika. I know you and I trust you." Tyreese smiled at me. Judith began crying and reached her arms out to me, I picked her up and pressed a kiss to her head, rocking her in my arms.

"What about Carol?" I asked the dreaded question as Tyreese flinched.

"I can learn to live with her, I don't have to like it. But I don't have to talk to her." He explained.

"That's not a life." I defended.

"What, you don't think it's a good idea to stay? Are you expecting me to forgive her and just move on?" He challenged.

"No. Of course not." I sat down on the edge of the well besides Tyreese.

"Look you're right in some respects. We do have a level of security here, there's deer around so in terms of food we wouldn't have issues. But Terminus is better protected, they might have more supplies." I argued.

"Also, don't you want to find the others?" I asked gently.

"We have no reason to believe they're even alive." Tyreese said seriously.

"We have no reason to believe they're not." I said firmly as Judith fussed in my arms.

"So you would rather just give up then? Just settle for living here, and that's it? What about Sasha? What about everyone else?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Look I know you're upset, you miss Rick and the others. I miss Sasha. Glenn, Daryl, Michonne, Maggie." Tyreese said sympathetically.

"But we've found something good here, somewhere we can build a life."

"It's not just about Rick. God why does everyone think that." I muttered.

"I am not obsessed with the man. Is it too much to ask for love, even if you're fucked up?" I challenged.

"That's not what I'm saying." Tyreese sighed.

"Look the point is, they're our family. I don't know about you but I didn't have a family before this apocalypse, I had an abusive father who practically killed my mother. I grew up by myself, I didn't have friends or anyone to turn to. So no, I'm not about to give up on the only fucking family I have. Even if you are." I said angrily standing up.

"Pol-"

"I'm sorry." I gasped, feeling furious and upset as Tyreese looked at me wordlessly.

"Her diaper needs changing." I blinked away the tears as I stalked off back towards the house. Mika rushed passed me, almost knocking me over.

"Lizzie!" She called out into the field standing on the porch.

"Hey Mika," I shot her a look.

"Sorry Pol." She looked apologetic.

"It's alright, did you guys bring back deer? I'm starved." My stomach rumbled in response, the same moment Judith began crying.

"Lizzie!" She ran off across the field behind the house.

"I can't deal with that shit right now." I muttered taking the crying baby into the house.

Her crying intensified as she began waving her arms quickly, hitting me in the face. I gave the baby a tired look, the tears falling from my eyes now. It wasn't Tyreese's fault and I shouldn't have unloaded on him like that. But he shouldn't be so ready to give up on them, especially since we took him into the prison. You don't give up on your family.

I laid Judith down on the sofa finding a clean diaper, I cleaned her and threw the old one away, she stopped screaming eventually as she rested in my lap with her big eyes looking up at me.

"You look like Lori." I whispered, as she wrapped her small hand around my finger.

"You don't look like Rick." I tilted my head sideways at her, trying to find the resemblance. It was at the back of my mind and I knew it lingered at the back of his mind too. The possibility that Judith wasn't his.

"You look like your brother too." I pushed strands of her light brown hair back. She settled quietly, not moving as I rocked her in my arms humming the opening tune to a song I knew very well.

 _"Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise."_ I stood up pacing the room.

 _"Run in the shadows. Damn your love, damn your lies."_ I swayed with Judith in my arms.

 _"And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying we would never break the chain."_

 _"And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, we would never break the chain."_

"Oh you like that song do you?" I smiled softly as her eyes began to flutter close.

"I'm not a fan of Fleetwood Mac myself, but that's a good one." I explained.

"When you get older, I'll tell you all the good songs don't worry. We don't need your dad's music taste." I grinned fondly, remembering the first time I rode in the car with the Grimes family. My expression turned to sadness and I felt my stomach lurch, would I ever see them again?

"Led Zeppelin. Bon Jovi. Metallica. Queen. Those are the basics okay?" I checked as her head lolled to one side.

"Okay I'll also teach you to box. Your dad can teach you to shoot, Michonne can teach you how to wield a katana." I smiled as I envisioned what the future could bring.

I looked down at Judith now whose eyes were closed.

"You know Daryl named you Lil' Ass-kicker when you were born? Yeah thank god we talked him out of that." Judith was no longer moving, and her chest was rising and falling slowly.

I lowered her into the crib we put in the living room and covered her with the blanket. I bit my lip, remembering the spat with Tyreese. I definitely didn't like how I left things with him.

Swallowing my pride I made for the door, when suddenly I heard an ear-splitting scream. I ran out of the house with my gun out, seeing several walkers make for the barbed wire.

Lizzie had jumped through the wire but Mika's foot was trapped in the wire just as a Walker opened it's mouth.

I fired my colt into the Walker as both girls snapped up to me. Lizzie freed her sister from the wire and pulled her back.

"Get back!" I instructed as I began firing into the oncoming walkers.

I heard more gunshots from beside me as Carol took her place, shooting the burnt bodies of the walkers. Tyreese used the rifle to shoot down the 7 that made it's way towards the house. Lizzie and Mika pulled out their own guns, and I watched as they bravely shot down the creatures growling at us.

Within a few minutes it was all over. Lizzie looked petrified as Carol engulfed her into a hug.

"It's okay. You did it." Carol said encouragingly as she released her from the hug.

I looked at Tyreese and gave him a firm nod which he returned. Mika looked visibly shaken, as Tyreese wrapped an arm around her shoulders we went back into the house.

This is what I meant. It wasn't guaranteed security, particularly with Lizzie's unusual and worrying habits.

Later that evening, Mika played with the doll whilst Carol and Lizzie talked on the table.

"It's ugly and it's scary. It does change you." Carol said.

I saw Tyreese with his eyes closed on the armchair. Biting my lip, I walked over to him and tapped his arm gently. He opened his eyes alert and looked at me.

"Hey," I whispered.

"Hey." Tyreese replied sitting up in the chair a bit more, as Carol and Lizzie talked in the background.

"I wanted to say sorry. For blowing up at you like that, I had no right. I was just upset, and yes the possibility that the others might not be alive scares me." I admitted quietly.

"I know you haven't given up on them, you're just being realistic and trying to think ahead." I finished.

"No it's okay." Tyreese wiped the tear from my cheek.

"I was harsh. And I didn't know about your past, that must have been really tough to endure. It explains how you're so strong and protective of everyone all the time." Tyreese smiled slightly as I returned it.

"It must be a sensitive topic, but if you ever wanted to talk about your past. I am here." He offered.

"I appreciate that, I really do. But it was long ago now, and I'm ready to move on. I would actually love to hear stories of a happy childhood. Maybe like yours and Sasha's?" I checked.

"Yeah, anytime." Tyreese smiled. I glanced back at Carol then back to the man beside me.

"How come Carol was with you earlier?"

"I couldn't carry all the water back by myself, so she offered to help." Tyreese shrugged.

I repressed a smile. Baby steps, but I think they could eventually learn to live with each other.

"I don't wanna hurt anyone. I don't want to be mean." Mika's voice sounded out in the room.

"You have to be sometimes. But just sometimes." Lizzie spoke back to her sister.

I left Tyreese's side as he closed his eyes and joined the others on the table, as we began cracking pecans. Lizzie cracked the shell which went flying off into the kitchen, causing the rest of us to laugh.

"I've never had these." I said arranging the pecans on the tray.

"I used to make these with my grandma when we were little." Carol said fondly, taking the tray from my hands.

"You guys are ready to do the cooking, who wants to put them in?" She walked over to the oven as both girls stood up eagerly. They took the tray and put it in the oven, talking excitedly.

I looked over at the interaction between the three. I knew they were happy here, I knew they were comfortable and felt safe. And weren't we doing this all for the younger ones anyways? Tyreese had a point, but I just didn't think I was ready to stop finding the others.

...

The next day I took a walk in the garden with Carol, enjoying the breeze and the sun shining on our faces. It was days like this, that made me forget what kind of world we were living in. No decaying faces, no growling sounds, no heavy footsteps of the undead constantly chasing us and after our flesh.

Just two friends enjoying the fresh air. There were plenty of peaches left growing in the tree, and more pecans to be picked but what I really wanted today was to catch some game. I stood against the old tree as Carol stopped, looking at the ground.

"You okay?" I asked tentatively stepping towards her.

"Tyreese calls out in his sleep. I can hear him saying her name." Carol's eyes were downcast. I looked sadly to her, I knew she regretted it. I knew she carried the guilt around with her.

"The people who are living are haunted by the dead." I came to stand beside her, remembering how Rick was affected by Lori. How I used to see my mother after she had died. How I know Maggie and Beth must be seeing Hershel.

"We are who we are because we do what we do. I killed Karen and David." Carol stated.

"You're not a murderer Carol. That's not who you are. It's what you did, you did for reasons you believed in." I stated.

"Reasons you now know were wrong. You're remorseful."

"Tyreese won't ever forgive me. I don't think I can forgive myself, but I did it because it had to be done. The infection would have spread." Carol said firmly.

"If you want his forgiveness, you have to show your regret. I know the guilt you carry around with you, I'm not saying he'll forgive you straight away. But with time, you never know." I shrugged.

"Have you forgiven yourself for Otis?" She asked.

The question caught me off guard. Now there was a name I hadn't heard in a couple of years, one I tried so hard to forget. For it reminded me of when I allowed myself to be manipulated, and used to the point where I was no better than a walker itself.

"I don't know." I answered honestly.

"Do I regret what I did? Fuck yes I do. And if I could go back, I would change what I did. But I do believe things happen for a reason, good or bad. But our past doesn't define who we are. It's the choices we make right now." I looked directly at her as she nodded.

"Maybe people don't haunt us," Carol said softly after a while.

"Maybe, they're just teaching us. Helping remind us, so that we can live with what we have to do." Carol kept her gaze on the ground as tears fell freely from her eyes.

"Carol," I pulled her into my arms, hugging her tightly. She cried, letting out sobs, it was rare to see Carol so vulnerable.

"Sshhh," I rubbed her back soothingly, allowing her to express herself.

"Don't be ashamed of who you are Carol." I pulled apart looking up at her.

"Me and you are survivors." I smiled as she grinned back wiping her face. I turned around, as Tyreese cleared his throat looking as if he had interrupted something.

"You guys ready to hunt?" He asked, looking awkward.

"Yeah, Judith with the girls?" I checked as he nodded.

"Alrighty, let's go get some deer!"

...

"Urghhh, where are they?" I groaned as we had roamed the place for a few hours now and we were heading back to the cottage.

"We'll get one yet, probably not even deer season." Tyreese offered encouragingly.

"My husband used to hunt. He'd tell the same stupid joke every year." Carol rolled her eyes as I grinned at her, from beside me I could see Tyreese's interest was piqued.

"Tell it!" I urged her.

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?" She asked as I scrunched my nose.

"Beer nuts are around $1.79 and deer nuts are just under a buck." I laughed loudly, the joke not even funny but Carol's monotone voice making it even funnier. Tyreese snorted and I watched as he supressed a smile at the bad joke.

"Don't judge. There's more where that came from." Carol side eyed us with a grin. We turned around the bend where the cottage came into view.

Judith was sitting happily on her mat chewing her fingers, Lizzie was standing over an unconscious Mika holding a bloody knife. The three of us ran over to the girl who was trembling slightly, there was blood splattering her clothes.

"Lizzie." I gasped in horror as the other two were lost for words.

"Don't worry, she'll come back. I didn't hurt her brain." Lizzie said hopefully.

"What the fuck did you do?" I edged closer around the girl, seeing Mika unmoving on the ground.

I placed a hand over my gaping mouth and felt tears sprout to my eyes. Carol was the closest to Lizzie, gasping for breath as she looked in shock at her smiling face.

I glanced towards Judith who was in a crawling position, her eyes looking at the bloody knife. No matter what happened, I had to get the baby away from her. There was no telling what Lizzie could do.

Carol was the first to react as she lunged for the knife. Lizzie discarded the knife and quickly drew her gun on Carol, her finger over the trigger.

"No, no. We have to wait." Lizzie stressed.

"I need to show you, you'll see. You'll finally get it." her voice wavered.

"Lizzie," I said softly.

"Do you realise what you've done?" I edged closer to the blanket, not making any sudden movements.

"Don't" Lizzie pointed the gun at me as I stopped moving and raised my hands, my eyes glancing to the colt at my waist.

"We have to wait." She emphasised again.

"Lizzie, put the gun down." Tyreese spoke for the first time.

"I just want us to wait." Lizzie whimpered looking to the man.

"We can wait. We can wait. You just give me the gun." Carol's voice was shaky as she held out her hand to the girl.

Lizzie lowered the gun into Carol's hand as I let out the breath I was holding, bowing my head in relief. I glanced at Judith who gave me a smile as she began babbling excitedly.

"You and Tyreese should take Judith back. It's not safe for her." Carol said calmly as I gave her an incredulous look. I reached for Judith quickly when Lizzie wasn't looking, wrapping her protectively in my arms.

"But Judith can change, too. I was just about to-" Lizzie turned around to the baby in my arms as I instinctively stood side on to protect her.

"But she can't even walk yet." Carol argued.

"Yeah, you're right." Lizzie let out an easy smile.

"So you two take Judith back to the house. And we can have lunch." Carol said optimistically gesturing to me. I handed the baby to Tyreese who gave me a reassuring look, standing beside Carol.

"Pol and I can tie Mika up, you know so she won't go anywhere." I nodded in agreement giving her a weak smile.

"Promise that's what you'll do?" Lizzie checked glancing at me.

"Promise." I said, my voice shaky.

"Let's go Lizzie." Tyreese placed a guiding hand on her back leading her away, she looked back at us before they entered the house.

Carol let out the tears she was holding in as she gasped for breath deeply.

"Holy shit. Holy shit. What the fuck." I doubled over in surprise, gasping for air.

"Oh Mika." I brushed the hair from the dead girl's eyes as she lay still unmoving. Her fingers began twitching as I nudged Carol. Carol took out her knife and pressed it into the base of her neck before walking back into the house.

A few hours later, Tyreese, Carol and I were in the kitchen deciding what we were going to do with Lizzie.

"I brought food to her room, took away her knives and any sharp objects like that." Tyreese broke the silence, his hand on Judith's head who was sleeping in his arms.

"We buried Mika." I said sombrely, remembering how we dug the hole in the ground and placed her body in the grave.

"What do we do?" Tyreese addressed both of us.

"I could leave with her, you guys can't sleep with her and Judith under the same roof." Carol said seriously.

"You wouldn't make it. Not on your own." Tyreese stated, but his eyes were full of emotion.

"Carol that wouldn't work. Eventually she could kill you too." I argued.

"She can't be around other people." Carol looked at Tyreese.

"Maybe we could help. Talk her back somehow." Tyreese reasoned, as I shot him a sympathetic look.

"This is how she is. It was already there. I didn't see it." Carol's voice was thick with emotion.

"I should have seen it." She emphasised.

"How could you?" Tyreese asked, in a surprisingly warm manner.

"Me, Pol and Judith could leave." Tyreese suggested.

"You wouldn't make it either." Carol stated.

"Gee thanks for the faith." I commented sarcastically.

"She can't be around people." Carol looked at all of us seriously. The weight of her words sunk in as I collapsed into the chair around the table.

"You don't mean-" I grasped for words as Carol shook her head. I looked back at Tyreese whose mouth quivered and his eyes were filled with tears.

"I'll do it."

...

Me and Tyreese watched from the window as Carol began to lead Lizzie away from the cottage. She was dangerous, but I felt sorry for the poor girl. She was confused and mentally disturbed. If we still had psychologists around it might have helped, but the fact we were down to this is our solution. What kind of people had we become?

"I wish I'd gone with her." I paced the room as the pair went out of sight.

"She can do it." Tyreese sighed looking out the window.

"Its a difficult thing to do." I ran a hand through my hair frustratedly.

"She shouldn't have to do it alone."

"I think I understand Carol a bit better." Tyreese said after a while causing me to look at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She assumes a lot of responsibility for things she feels like she's accountable for. She looked after and raised those girls after their father died, so I know why she has to do it." Tyreese's words lingered in the air.

"She goes to extremes to find solutions." I stated as Tyreese nodded.

Our conversation was interrupted. I jumped as a gunshot rang out through the air. It seemed so much louder in the deafening silence as we bowed our heads in grief of what had just happened.

Carol returned to the house not longer after, crying profusely. Without saying a word I took her in my arms, comforting her. The three of us covered Lizzie's body and dug her a grave next to Mika, working together in silence, we made makeshift crosses over both of them.

I picked the yellow and pink flowers we had encountered the first day and placed it over their graves. We bowed her heads in respect for the kids, hoping they were in a better place.

The mood was much more morbid that evening. We had only lit a single candle in the living room attached to the kitchen. The three of us sat at the kitchen table, trying to complete a puzzle.

Carol slid the gun over to Tyreese, who looked up at her in confusion.

"I killed Karen and David. I had to stop the infection from breaking out. It was me." Carol stated looking him in the eye. The expression on Tyreese's face was murderous as he choked back sobs.

"You do what you have to do." Carol's voice was laced with emotion. This was common knowledge, but it was the first time she had openly confessed to Tyreese. I gave her an encouraging nod.

I looked nervously back to Tyreese whose hands are gripping the edge of the table, until his knuckles went white.

"Did she know what was happening? Was she scared?" He asked Carol in a controlled anger.

Carol shook her head quickly, the tears staining her face.

"It was quick?" Tyreese checked as I looked at him in surprise. This was not the reaction I was expecting. Carol nodded not able to look him in the eyes.

I looked as Tyreese grasped the gun with his fist, still on the table.

"Tyreese," I whispered in horror, my hand finding the colt on my holster. I didn't want this to be a bloodbath between friends, especially since we had already lost two people today.

"Do what you have to do." Carol bowed her head in resignation closing her eyes.

I looked in shock back at Tyreese, my hand slipping around the colt hanging against my thigh.

"I forgive you." Tyreese released the gun as we both looked at him. I sighed in relief.

"I'm never gonna forget it happened. You did it. You feel it. I know you do. It's a part of you now." Tyreese said earnestly, as Carol let his words sink in.

"But I forgive you." He stressed, his eyes filled with tears. Carol's blue eyes were filled with sadness as she sobbed. I wiped the tears from my own eyes, smiling at them both.

"Thank you," Carol said.

"You don't have to stay." Tyreese said softly.

"We can't stay."

...

The next morning we packed up food, extra provisions such as blankets and clothes and set off leaving the cottage behind. We walked in relative silence, but it was pleasant.

We made our way out of the forest coming back onto the rail tracks. I walked behind Carol and Tyreese, as Judith's head peeked out of the rucksack. I ruffled her eyes playfully as she chewed her fingers looking up at me with her big eyes.

Onwards to Terminus.

 **A/N: What did you think? Hope I handled the character interactions well!**


	43. Chapter 43 - Reunion Time

**A/N: Sorry for the late update! But I gave myself a break over xmas and boxing day. So this is the first episode of season 5 because remember the story is from Pol's perspective. In case you guys didn't know episode 15 is about Glenn finding Maggie with Tara, Abraham and Rosita and 16 is about the claimers attacking Rick, Michonne and Carl and finding Daryl. The end result of season 4, with all of them stuck together in the crate in Terminus.**

 **Since my work hours are changing, the update day is now Friday. So consider this your early Friday update. Got a nice long chapter for you guys! You've stuck with me through this story for a whole year and I think you've earned this chapter finally. I hope you are all ready!**

 **Thank you to the people who follow and favourite: elljayde, Resonante and msfree42010! And to my faithful reviewers who have been here from the start, time to reap the rewards of your patience!**

 **Ryane: Thank you! We got a bit of Terminus, bit of action and bit of reunion. Hope you're happy with the results!**

 **RebornRose1992: Oof I know! I watched that episode as I wrote the chapter for script purposes, it is hard! Oh I'm glad I managed to write well enough to make you tear up! That was my aim.**

 **Gracie Miserables: Thank you! It was one of the chapters I was confident I wrote quite well and I was pleased with the pacing. haha, you know I wouldn't do that to my main girl Pol!**

 **Purplepecky: Hope this one makes up for it!**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags.**

At Terminus

"They're fucking with the wrong people."

Rick sharpened the chain repeatedly in the splinter of the wooden structure. The group was beyond exhausted, alone in the dark not knowing what their fate would involve. But they were never defenceless. Belt buckles were broken and sharpened to be used as weapons. Shoelaces were removed and tightened around hands which could easily be used to strangle.

The leader looked over at the rest of his group, working hard to ensure they were prepared for whatever lay beyond that door. He looked over at his son, busy working his belt into a weapon and his mind drifted back to the recent events.

The acknowledgement that his son was almost raped was too much to admit. Rick was bashing himself for not being more careful, for being too relaxed talking to Michonne. They should have had better defences, been more alert of their surroundings. He did what he needed to do: he knew the frightened look on Carl's face would not go any time soon, but as far as he was concerned his son was alive. They were alive, for now.

Rick didn't regret his actions at all. Those animals deserved what they got. But that was in the past, they were more concerned with the present. And what fate had in store for them.

They couldn't recall how long they had been in the crate for. The archer poised at the door, trying to look through the cracks of light. Radio static and the chattering of men passing through every now and then.

"Alright, got four of them pricks coming our way." Daryl warned as the rest of the group stopped.

The group was up off the ground instantly, both old and new members gathered around the leader.

"Y'all know what to do. Go for their eyes, then their throats." He said calmly.

One thing he was glad for was that Carol, Tyreese and Pol had hopefully escaped the fate of Terminus. He had just hoped, they didn't fall prey to the signs either but there was no guarantee even they were alive. The group were poised with their minimal weapons ready.

"Put your backs to the walls on either side of the car now." The man shouted from outside.

There was clattering on the roof, when a metal grate slid open from above, shining a bright light onto them and a cylindrical can dropped onto the ground.

"Move!" Abraham shouted.

A white gas filled the air and the entire room was engulfed in a cloud of smoke. The group were dragged outside and shoved harshly onto the ground.

A gas mask was dropped in front of Rick, who looked up as a man stomped his foot into his face. Then all went dark.

...

"Okay, okay. Did you guys ever watch Doctor Who?" I glanced at Tyreese and Carol, holding Judith in my arms. They both gave me blank looks and shook their heads at me.

"What?!" I said incredulously. "You're kidding right." I chuckled.

"Wasn't that a British thing?" Tyreese asked.

"Yeah, but it was big in the states too!" I defended.

"That Sci-fi stuff, not really my thing." Carol shrugged.

I jumped in between the rail tracks and began walking beside Carol, whilst Tyreese strapped the rifle around his shoulders. We had been on the road for a few days now, food was getting pretty scarce. We did however have a lot of pecans to eat, which was good considering it was high in protein.

"Oh come on though, they had some pretty cool monsters. Daleks, Cybermen. Ooh and the Weeping Angels!" I shuddered, remembering how they used to freak me out.

"Weeping Angels? What the hell is that?" Tyreese glanced back at us.

"They were these creatures that lived as stone statues shaped like angels. And when you weren't looking or if you even blinked they would move so fast and kill you." I explained.

"Oh nice." Carol said sarcastically.

"They actually casted a new Doctor Who, just before this whole shitstorm blew. Matt Smith. But I was still sad over David Tennant." I sighed.

"Oh I know him. He was that good looking guy." Carol smiled slightly.

"Yes Carol!" I applauded, grinning at her.

"He was the sexy Doctor." I nodded.

"He's probably a Walker now." Tyreese shrugged eating a pecan as Carol and I both looked affronted.

"What a thing to be sad about huh? Changing the cast for a TV show. And now look where we are, there are things so much worse." I said grimly, bouncing Judith in my arms.

It had been a few days since the incident with Mika and Lizzie. I didn't think I would ever forget what happened at that house. So much trauma and memory, we were right to leave. We were also approaching Terminus soon, hadn't seen any of the new signs up yet.

"We're close. I'm gonna get you guys there, make sure you're safe." Carol stopped, as a map for Terminus came up. Judith babbled in my arms restlessly as I shifted her to my other shoulder.

"But I won't stay." Carol said decidedly.

"Carol," I started.

Despite the fact Tyreese had forgiven her for killing Karen and David, Carol had not forgiven herself. And all her best efforts to co-exist with him, well it seemed to be the guilt was too heavy for her. Or for some twisted reason, she believed she had a better shot out there.

Before I could talk any further, growling came from the woods. A walker stumbled out, drawn by the noise of our talking. Tyreese shifted uncomfortably on his feet, looking at Carol helplessly.

"I can't. Not yet." He said.

"You're gonna have to be able to." Carol said firmly as she knocked the walker over, stabbing the knife into the base of it's neck. She bent over the walker for a while, as the noise of more snarling drew our attention to the woods beyond the tracks.

All of a sudden, dozens upon dozens of walkers began emerging from the treeline at an alarmingly increased rate.

"More." Carol whispered worriedly.

We stepped off from the tracks as I held Judith's head and onto the woods on the other side. We knelt down behind a large twisted root of the tree, hoping the walkers would clear off. They crawled their rotted corpses across the tracks, making their way to our hiding spot.

We heard distant gunshots, rapid machine fire in the direction of Terminus. The walkers now distracted, began walking along the tracks, snarling and snapping their teeth as they went.

"They're heading for Terminus." I whispered as the gunshots continued.

"It has to be?" I looked at Carol and Tyreese.

Once the walkers cleared we came back on the track, the woods now eerily silent.

"That gunfire, that had to be from Terminus." Tyreese said. Judith began whimpering in my arms, she started crying as I rocked her.

"Sshh Judith. It's okay." I rubbed her head and back soothingly.

"Someone was attacking them. Or they were attacking someone." Carol suggested.

"Do we even wanna find out?" Tyreese asked.

"I'm with him on this one. I know I advocated for going there, but my gut instinct tells me something's wrong." I couldn't shake the unsettled feeling in my stomach.

"Yeah we do. There's another track due east, we can go from there. We'll be real careful. We can get answers." Carol looked at all of us as I reluctantly nodded.

I trusted Carol's tracking skills, she knew her way around and she had been under Daryl's tutelage. We could always go back if we knew it was going to be unsafe.

"Okay, but one sign of trouble." I said as the two of them agreed.

We continued walking along the tracks, our spirits and mood significantly dampened after the discovery that Terminus wouldn't be safe. We came to a fork in the tracks, after a few hours which I assumed was our Eastern track. Following it we continued walking along the tracks, Judith becoming more irritable and tired.

"She's asleep!" I exclaimed victoriously as her head lolled on my shoulder.

"Zip her into my backpack." I moved the backpack to my chest, so I could keep an eye on her.

Having Judith at the front just added more weight, and walking required more exertion but at least this way I had my hands free to reach for my machete or my colt if we needed to.

"Wait." Carol stopped walking and tilted her ear towards the woods.

"Do you hear that?" She said quietly. I peered into the thick undergrowth of trees, listening carefully. I shook my head as she gestured for us to follow. We walked quietly and light-footed, the only noise coming from the occasional snapping of branches, until another clearing came into view.

We came to the back side of a cabin, situated on a road. This cabin was small and worn down, but then I saw him. There was a man speaking over the radio to someone as he laid what looked like a firework on the ground.

Carol signalled me as I moved Judith to my back and walked around the cabin, pulling my colt out. I scouted the woods around for any more people, but found none. I joined the other two behind the cabin where we could hear what the man was saying.

"See, I knew the chick with the sword was bad news. Bitch looked like a weapon, with a weapon." The man drawled.

I frowned at the mention of my best friend. Michonne? My heart began to beat faster at the thought that she was alive. And if she was, there was a strong possibility the others were too. But that meant they were being held captive.

We couldn't make out how the woman responded to him over the radio. We edged even closer, our backs against the side of the cabin as Tyreese drew his knife and Carol drew her gun nodding at us.

We moved out from the cabin quickly as I aimed my colt for the man's head, taking the safety off with my finger over the trigger.

"Yeah, I told Albert I want the kid's hat after they bleed him out." My eyes widened in horror at the man's words as he also froze in position.

Terminus had been a lie.

"Take your finger off the button. And drop it." I said calmly as Carol held Judith protectively. The man dropped the radio, his back still towards us as he kept his hands up.

"They're only doing eight before public face." A woman's voice came over the radio.

Holy fuck. They were killing people. They were luring people to their deaths at Terminus. It had all been a lie. But why?

"Listen y'all don't have to do this. Whatever you want, we got a place where everyone's welcome." The man said calmly.

"Shut up man." Tyreese said venomously.

"How many times have you fed that line of bullshit." I pressed the colt barrel of the colt against his neck. I would not hesitate to kill him, if they had harmed anyone.

"We're friends of the chick with the sword and the kid in the hat." Carol informed him.

We had made sure the cabin was clear and tied the man's hands and feet together as he sat against the wall, calm and unfazed.

The cabin was small and disorganised. A wooden table with a chair in one corner, there was broken pieces of furniture, old belongings. Remnants of someone else's lives.

"They attacked us. We're just holding them." The man reasoned.

"I don't believe." Carol beginning looking through the duffle bag he had left on the table.

"Who else do you have?" I asked, moving closer to him my hand over the gun in my holster.

"What are their names?" Tyreese asked, holding Judith.

"We just have the boy and the samurai, that's it. We were just protectin' ourselves." he said defensively.

"I don't believe you." Carol sounded out.

"There's a bunch of us out there, in six different directions. There was a lot of gunfire back home. We need to set off our charges all at the same time to confuse the dead ones away. That's good for you, too." He continued speaking.

I walked over to Carol, inspecting the contents of the bag. There were a few flares, fireworks, semi automatic weapons and a few radios.

"No it isn't. There's a herd heading towards Terminus right now. We don't wanna confuse them away, we need their help." Carol held a blanket in her hands. I glanced at her in confusion as she held the sniper rifle on her shoulder.

"It's a compound. They'll see you coming, if you even make it that far with all the cold bodies heading over." The man said.

Carol ignored him and began heading for the door.

"Please tell me, you don't intend to go there yourself." I zipped up my leather jacket, intending to go with her.

"Carol." Tyreese stopped her.

"How you gonna do this?"

"I'm gonna kill people." Carol walked out of the cabin. I shared an anxious look with Tyreese before meeting her outside.

"You can't do this by yourself. I'm coming. You can't stop me." I said firmly.

"You're right, I can't stop you. But Tyreese needs you there. You need to protect them." Carol said simply.

"Tyreese can handle the guy, he's tied up. And if any walkers come," I defended.

"You don't get what I'm saying. You need to protect them, by doing what's necessary. Killing that guy. He will pose a threat, and when he does Tyreese won't be able to. But I trust you'll do what's necessary. Which is why you need to be here." Carol placed a hand on my shoulder, pleading.

I pondered in thought for a moment. What she said made sense, I knew she was right. Both Tyreese and Judith would be at risk.

"I know you're a badass motherfucker, but how are you going to attack the compound and bring Michonne and Carl back by yourself?!" I asked incredulously.

"I got help." She gave me a sly smile.

"Carol." I whined.

"I'll bring them back. I might end up bringing more than just those too back." Carol said confidently.

"Promise me you'll bring yourself back too." I pleaded.

"I promise." Carol wrapped me in a hug as I held onto her shoulders tightly, not letting her go.

"Stay safe." I released her, feeling sad she was leaving. I just hoped they were all safe.

...

"She'll be okay." I tucked Judith into the crate and blankets in the cabin. Judith cooed happily and snuggled in, comfortable.

"She's Carol, she's a survivor." Tyreese tried to reassure me, but I could see the doubt in his eyes.

"She got a name?" Urgh. I forgot he was here. We both ignored him, but his voice had become more irksome and pestering as time clicked by.

"Hey, she got a name?" He asked again.

"Judith." Tyreese spoke.

"She your daughter or something?" He asked.

"What part of shut up did you not understand?" I turned around to glare at him.

"Just making conversation darlin'." He shrugged. I rolled my eyes, resisting the urge to tie a gag around his mouth.

"She's a friend." Tyreese's calm tone was getting on my nerves.

"Huh. I don't have any friends. I mean, I know people. They're just assholes I stay alive with." His voice was grating on my ears.

"That other woman, she your friend? Or maybe your mom?" I turned around, looking incredulous that he was still talking.

"I used to have them, used to watch football on sundays. Went to church." He laughed.

"What's your name?" I asked suddenly.

"Martin." he replied, surprised by the question.

"Martin, shut the fuck up." I sighed pulling out my CD player from the bag.

"Tell me if you need help with Judy. Or when he finally shuts up." I glanced at the man, causing Tyreese to smile slightly.

I put the headphones on and pulled the volume up high, sitting on the ground against the wall. I could no longer hear him talk, but his lips were still moving. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, trying to relax. Trying to not worry about Carol or anyone else.

I snapped out my reverie, seeing Tyreese standing up over the man and paused the music.

"Take her, take the car. And go!" Martin emphasised.

"What bullshit are you spewing now?" I spoke to Martin. I leaned over Judith, whose eyes fluttered closed.

"You guys are sitting here, me alive and tied up. For what reason? You ain't gonna kill me. You're gonna die today, and your baby's gonna die today." Martin said calmly.

I pulled the machete out and stood up, marching over to the man. He didn't flinch, but I detected the flicker of fear in his eyes as the cold blade touched his neck.

"Pol." Tyreese said warningly.

"Are you threatening, the baby?" I whispered into his ear, putting more pressure on the knife.

"Come on man, you're threatening to kill a baby." I leaned in front of him as he gulped.

"I have no qualms about killing you. He may do." I gestured back to Tyreese.

"But I don't. So if you seriously don't shut up. I'll slit your damn neck." I brought knife up to his chin. I pressed the blade deeply, until a small cut appeared, he was bleeding.

The man winced and pressed his fingers to his neck, seeing red.

"Got that?" I checked as he nodded.

"Good." I left the man and sat down against the wall on the opposite side.

"What was that about?" Tyreese whispered, looking annoyed.

"He threatened you and Judith. I'm not gonna let that slide, this way we might actually get some peace and quiet." I looked over venomously at Martin who chose not to look at me.

"I'm gonna go check around. Need to get away from that prick." I sighed, feeling my anger subsiding.

"Good idea." Tyreese agreed patting me on the shoulder.

I gave Martin one last look over my shoulder, checking his restraints were suitably tight and left the cabin.

I stretched my arms and legs, holding the rifle I kept it by my side and walked off into the woods. After fifteen minutes of searching, there were no more people around but some walkers began to emerge from the woods. I pushed the rifle back and pulled out my machete killing a few.

I came back out into the clearing finding the cabin, when suddenly I heard a loud explosion. There was a thick column of dark grey smoke rising in the air, with flecks of orange being spewn out.

Carol. She had taken the fireworks and explosives from the duffle bag. I prayed she knew what she was doing. In a stroke of bad luck, the walkers began to emerge from the woods. I slashed my knife into their heads and chests stopping them from reaching me.

I walked towards the door of cabin, Judith began wailing loudly as I sighed. I walked into the cabin seeing Martin's hands arounds Judith's heads. His arms and legs were still tied but he had manage to crawl over to the crate whilst Tyreese wasn't looking. It had to be the explosion.

I pulled the rifle up and immediately aimed it for his head. Tyreese looked helpless standing with wide eyes looking at the man. One false move and he could easily snap her neck.

"Stop. Move your hands away." I said aiming for his head. My words came out calmly, but I was a bundle of fear for Judith who was now at the mercy of this man.

"Put your weapons on the ground now." Martin said calmly.

I jumped slightly as a walker pressed itself against the window, snarling and snapping it's jaw, drawn by the sound of Judith crying.

"Kick them over right now. Right now!" He screamed.

I reluctantly lowered the rifle, removing my colt and machete I slid them over to the ground. Tyreese followed my actions, removing his knife and pistol. I glanced back as another walker was against the window, and the wooden door of the cabin began to bang.

"Please, let her go." I said gently, my hear breaking as Judith cried.

"Please. Don't hurt her." Tyreese said calmly.

"Go outside." The man spat.

"Go outside!" He emphasised as I looked at him in horror.

We kept our hands up in surrender, not moving.

"Just one twist man. Don't make me!" He shouted.

I felt tears springing to me eyes, not believing how this situation had gotten so out of control.

"Go outside." He ordered lowly again. We nodded and opened the door, facing the walkers outside.

They immediately jumped onto Tyreese, we pushed them down as Tyreese used his force to stamp their necks, staining the cabin wood with blood. Once we took care of the walkers, Tyreese barged through the door and pushed the radio out Martin's hands, pressing the knife against his neck.

I immediately went for Judith and picked her up, pressing her to my neck. Her face was stained with tears, her wide eyes were fearful as she whimpered and nuzzled into my neck.

"It's okay baby girl." I rocked her pressing her to me.

"He can't hurt you." I whispered, kissing her forehead gratefully.

I looked down at Tyreese with his knife pressed against the man's neck.

"Yeah, that's how it works." Martin taunted him.

"I won't." Tyreese punched him in the face.

"I won't! I won't!" He repeated as he continued to clobber him, his face becoming more and more bloody. Eventually he stopped moving, as Tyreese's hands were shaking he looked at me fearfully.

I wrapped my arms around the big man, careful not to squash Judith. He hugged me back, burying his head into my shoulder, crying.

...

I walked out of the small cabin, holding Judith in my arms tired from the whole ordeal with Martin from Terminus. Tyreese was in tow as we looked out into our surroundings wondering when Carol would be back.

"Let me take her." Tyreese took Judith from my arms as the baby remained calm and happy. I squinted into the unrelenting sunlight, trying to spot the woman.

"Where did she say she was going?" He asked.

"She wanted to check out that large fenced compound from earlier. I told her it wasn't worth it though, whoever they were they had supplies and resources. We should leave them alone." I emphasised feeling worried.

"Carol can handle herself." Tyreese said decidedly.

"Yeah." I agreed but that didn't mean I didn't worry about her.

"Wait, that looks like her now." In the distance I spotted Carol marching across the road.

"Are those more people with her?" Tyreese asked.

My eyes focused on the group behind her. No. There's no way, my mouth hung open in shock at all the members behind her.

But I didn't have a chance to speak, I was already running towards the newcomers, faces I knew all to well. My family, the ones I loved and the ones I believed to be dead.

One in particular also spotted me. It was him. My eyes met his as his face also wore a surprised expression in realisation.

He dropped a heavy duffle bag and his face erupted into a large smile, also running towards me. The distance between us was excruciating, it felt like a large canyon I had to cross before I could reach him.

My heart was racing, it was exhilarating and I was bursting with happiness and wonder and surprise. I ran straight into Rick Grimes, tackling him onto the hard ground.

Rick landed on his back in a thud, me on top of him. I launched my arms around his shoulders, helping him to a sitting position.

I held him close for all I was worth, taking in his broad shoulders, my face buried in his chest, tears streaming down my face. His own arms were wrapped tightly around my torso holding me to him on the ground.

I pulled apart, breathless and happy to see him alive. I held his gaze. His beard had become more scruffy and his hair was curly and getting longer. He was thinner but his brilliant blue eyes held the same beautiful expression.

"Rick, I'm so happy to-"

But I didn't even have the chance to finish. Rick pulled me by my shoulders against him and his lips were pressed against mine in a long overdue kiss.

They were warm and soft as I melted into his touch, relishing the feeling. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands playing with the ends of his hair. His lips were full of passion and longing, he finally let go as we pulled apart feeling completely breathless.

"Hi." Rick smiled slightly.

"Hi, your beard is itchy." I grinned sheepishly, scratching my chin.

As if to prove a point he left me breathless again, in another desperate kiss.

"I missed you." Rick's hands touched the side of my face as I felt my stomach flutter from his touch.

"I can tell." My smile widened even further.

"I missed you too." We held each other just content in ourselves.

"You don't have a razor by any chance do you?" I tugged the long hairs on his beard gently.

"Strangely enough I didn't find anything." There was a smirk playing on his lips. His expression turned serious for a minute as his eyes flitted across every inch of my face.

"Pol. I love you." Rick pushed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes.

I pulled apart slightly as my eyes widened in shock.

"What?" I stuttered in surprise.

"I've made mistakes, and I know that. It's okay if you don't. God knows I pushed you away, so I understand if you don't feel the sam-"

I pushed my lips against his, with newfound confidence, effectively shutting him up.

"Finally! It was about time!" I could hear Sasha's voice as I resisted the urge to smirk.

"I love you too, you idiot." I smiled at him.

"You do?" Rick checked, his voice so unsure.

"Well I don't usually greet my friends like that." I chuckled.

"Jeez it's not like the rest of us are alive back here!" I could hear Glenn's voice.

"Come on Grimes, let's go meet your daughter." Rick looked in shock then back down to the group where Tyreese was holding Judith.

We turned around back to the cabin, seeing a number of different faces. Both old and new. I jumped up from the ground and ran over to them.

"Yeah Glenn, but you're no Rick." Maggie smirked. I scratched the back of my neck and my cheeks were all flushed feeling embarrassed by the open display of affection.

I took it in turns embracing every single one of them, glad they were alive.

"Michonne." I yanked the warrior woman towards me, forcing her into a hug. I could feel her shaking slightly and I knew she was crying.

I hugged Sasha and Bob, Beth and Maggie. There were four new faces in the group who introduced themselves. Apparently the man named Eugene had a cure for all this, he was supposed to get to Washington. But at that moment I didn't care. Just seeing them all alive was enough. There was a couple, Abraham and Rosita and another girl. I recognised her from the prison, part of the Governor's group.

My eyes narrowed at her slightly, wondering what the hell her game was. I began walking towards her as Glenn stopped me.

"She saved my life." Glenn said.

"This is Tara." He said loudly as the woman looked alarmed but smiled nonetheless. I walked up to her and stuck my hand out, giving her a small smile.

"Pol." I introduced myself softening my gaze. She took one look at my hand and held out her own, forming a fist. I grinned at her, returning her fist bump.

"Anyone who saves Glenn's life is a friend of mine, regardless of their past." I said kindly, seeing the guilt in her eyes.

"Glenn, come here pizza boy." He rolled his eyes at the nickname but smiled nonetheless, giving me a hug.

"Dixon." I stood in front of a scruffy haired Daryl, who didn't hesitate into wrapping me up into a passionate hug. I rested my head on his shoulders rubbing his back.

"I didn't know if I'd see any of you again." I whispered overcome with emotion.

"We're here now." His gruff voice reassured as I pulled back from him.

"Oh my god, Carl you've grown." I stood in front of the boy who was a lot taller than me and was gazing at me with a funny expression. I followed his eyes back to his father who was walking over to us.

"Oh." My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I looked uncomfortably at Carl. The rest of the group picked up on the discomfort between us as they shuffled awkwardly.

He seemed dazed and looked put out for a moment, but then he shook his head, snapping out of his thoughts.

"Yeah I guess I have grown." He shrugged with a smile.

"Hope you're not too grown for a hug?"

In answer to my question he hugged me tightly. He gave me a look that I knew meant we would have a conversation later on. I caught a look at the silver chain around his neck, Carl glanced down and smiled pulling the necklace out.

"I can't believe you still have that." I bit my lip fondly, looking at the Ursa Minor necklace.

"You said to keep it, I knew we'd find you again." Carl grinned as I reached up to ruffle the hair under his hat affectionately. Carl ducked away from my hands backing up.

"You brought them back you brilliant woman." I wrapped my arms around Carol in a tight embrace as she stroked my hair soothingly. I pulled apart from her smiling.

I looked around at the group, my family until my eyes settled on Rick.

I smiled at the sight he was cradling Judith in his arms, kissing her and reunited with his family. His eyes met mine again, full of promise and hope.

I looked around at all the people in our group. I'm grateful to the apocalypse for one thing. We were all strangers shoved together by circumstance.

But we were so much more than that now. This was family. And we were home.

 **A/N: And they lived happily ever after. the end. Totally kidding of course. Did anyone catch the super obvious doctor who references? xD And that iconic last line of season 4! Whole lot of shit to go down! But welcome to a new era of this story!**


	44. Chapter 44 - On The Road Again

**A/N: Friday = update time! I was so excited to write this chapter, because they're finally together! *squeals* I'm sure some of you hate me for making you wait so long but that reunion was the exact moment I had in mind from the beginning so I was so glad to finally write it. What I found surprisingly hard was how to write them together in this chapter, so I hope I've done it justice. This chapter was supposed to cover season 5 episode 2 but it ended up being so long it only covers half of it. I wanted to cover more about the character interactions and where they're at with the introduction of a new character...**

 **Thank you to FallenSlayer17 for the follow and the beautiful, amazing reviewers!**

 **Ryane: I basically stopped watching doctor who after Matt Smith. I watched a few Peter Capaldi but it wasn't the same. I rewatched it recently and I've always admired David Tennant, but I came to appreciate Matt Smith's performance which was amazing! Ooh that was a nice idea about the bonus chapter but I just didn't have time!**

 **Purplepecky: Haha my thoughts exactly. Aww I'm glad you considered this a present and enjoyed the chapter. Hope you enjoy the fluff in this one!**

 **Gracie Miserables: Omg that's a huge huge compliment thank you so much! Yeah that's gonna be interesting to write and I just haven't figured out how Pol would react yet!**

 **Anna: I wanted to make it as dramatic and heartfelt and beautiful as possible. I'm glad I delivered as that, and the cuteness will continue don't worry. Yes you can totally say they're a couple! They know what they want and they're not dancing around their feelings anymore. I love you!**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

"Stop." I suppressed a smile as we walked along the railtracks.

"I don't know what you're talkin' about." The man beside me drawled.

We walked side by side, the group reunited. Rick falling into perfect step beside me, his fingers catching mine as they swung by his side when we walked.

"You keeping looking at me." I turned to him as his blue eyes met mine.

"Just trying to make up for lost time." The corners of his lips turned upwards as he caught my hand and enclosed it in his own.

It was small actions like this that made my heart swell, made me feel like I belonged. I mean this is what I wished for, for so long. Everyone seemed to be happy for us too. Well everyone except Carl.

I couldn't discern what the young man thought. But I knew he was not comfortable with it, so we kept the PDA to a minimum around him. Eventually I would need to have a serious conversation with Carl, grasp his opinion. I knew he still thought about Lori everyday, and I could feel the pangs of guilt through me.

I loosened my grip on Rick's hand.

"What?" Rick frowned.

I getsured to Carl who was walking ahead with Carol and Daryl, laughing about something.

"I know you're worried. But you don't have to be. Carl knows I'm a grown man, he knows I loved his mom. And I know he wanted me to be happy and move on, he's just gonna take some time to adjust." Rick said.

"You sure?" I asked him unconvinced.

"Yeah. I believe it." He said, his gaze turning serious.

He hadn't been the same since Terminus, none of them had. Rick had given the summary of what those bastards were up to, but more happened that I knew he was hiding.

"You need to tell me what happened." I said softly.

"Not yet." Rick glanced towards his son, smiling in front of him.

I knew whatever it was, it happened to Carl and whilst he seemed unaffected or was putting on a strong front. His father wasn't, I could detect the fear in his eyes when his guard dropped every so often.

I had told Rick about all we had endured with Lizzie and Mika, making him promise not to tell anyone else, as I knew Carol and Tyreese didn't want anyone to know. But despite that, I knew he wasn't ready to talk about Carl yet.

I tried to approach Michonne, but she just shook her head informing me it wasn't her place to say. And I knew Daryl would never give it up, he had been travelling with some group who called themselves Claimers. These were the same that had attacked Carl.

"Rick," I sighed.

"I will, I promise." He brought our entwined hands up to his mouth and planted a kiss on mine.

"Who knew you were so suave." I grinned cheekily.

"Uh I did." Rick defended.

"Urgh. You two sicken me." I turned around at the sound of Glenn's mocking voice.

"You got no right to complain." I said to him.

"I had to put up with your lovestruck face, pining after Maggie for weeks on the farm." I shot Maggie a smile who laughed.

"You were supposed to keep that to yourself." Glenn groaned.

"Honey I already knew, men are so clueless." Maggie rolled her eyes playfully.

"I know right! We're not that hard to figure out, when we want something you just have to read the cues." I agreed.

"Thats entrapment right there." Rick pointed out.

"What do you mean?" Maggie narrowed her eyes at him.

"Read the cues? Why can't you guys just say what you want?" Rick complained.

"Because we have no idea." I deadpanned as Maggie laughed.

"I know exactly what I want." I caught Rick's eyes who smiled.

"Walkers." Daryl called out, as the light-hearted mood instantly shifted to serious.

I dropped Rick's hand and our whole group reached for our weapons. We kept gun use to minimum and easily sliced down the walkers that came our way. They emerged from the treeline, remnants of the large herd that attacked Terminus.

I saw an arrow embedded into a walker as I whirled around behind me. Daryl gave me a nod as I smiled gratefully, who knows how many instances he's saved my life.

Carol was cradling Judith who began to whimper. I recognised this as the start of one of her temper tantrums. She was getting older and more aware, more moody.

"Here pass her to me." Rick took his daughter in his arms and began rocking her, soothing sounds as we formed a protective circle around him.

But Judith was now crying loudly, attracting the attention of more. Out of the corner of my eye, I reached for a walker wandering dangerously close to Rick and the baby, but Abraham had already taken it out.

"Thanks." I smiled at him as he nodded. There were no more walkers and we settled down in the small clearing for dinner.

I had decided that I liked the newcomers for the most part. Abraham was loud, abrasive and always telling innuendos. Rosita was calm but she could be sassy, which is why we became fast friends. And Tara was chill, really chill. Eugene was interesting to say the least.

"Hey, look what I found." Rosita held up a boxing glove with a grin.

"Except I kinda need two." I smirked.

"I'm sorry let me just head over to the nearest sports store." She sarcastically drawled, walking over to me.

"So how are things going between you two?" She dropped her voice, following my line of sight to Rick eating lunch with his children.

"Oh it's good." I smiled as Carl laughed at something Rick said. Judith was content, sitting drinking milk from the bottle Rick held to her mouth.

"How long you been together?" She asked drinking the water I handed to her.

"Oh you guys saw it, since then." I chuckled.

"Oh wow, not long at all."

"Yeah, but it was a long time coming, I've known him for a couple years, found him six months after the outbreak. He had a wife then." I said lowly.

"Had?" She checked.

"Yeah." I nodded sombrely, a flicker of guilt jolting through me at the thought of Lori.

"He seems to be really into you. His eyes are glued to your ass half the time." Rosita deadpanned as I laughed.

"Have you guys had sex yet?" Rosita nudged me.

"Uh, what?" I spluttered.

"Where would we have the time or even space to do it?" I exclaimed looking over at Rick once more.

"You just gotta find the opportunities." Rosita said nonchalantly.

"Me and Abe have." She smirked as I looked at her in shock.

"With his kids around. No way. And Carl isn't completely comfortable with the idea of us yet, so I don't wanna mess that up. And I've never had sex." I whispered the last line as Rosita mirrored a look of mild surprise.

"How old are you?"

"27. Yeah I know." I shrugged.

"Fair enough, but it might be something you two wanna talk about in the future. Because it's a big deal to you, so you need to make sure he get's it." Rosita said seriously.

"Yeah, although it's not high on the list of priorities right now."

We both turned around at the sight of Abraham whistling. He gestured Rosita to follow him as she gave me a smirk.

"As I said, it's all about the opportunities." The pair disappeared from the clearing into the trees as I shook my head at them.

"I like them." I passed Maggie and Glenn who looked amused.

"Yeah, Abraham's quite a character." Glenn agreed.

I looked over at Eugene who was standing next to Bob. Sasha and Tyreese were sitting together placing their rifles down, joking around. Carol was fussing over Daryl's hair who swatted her away. I smiled fondly at the familiar sight.

It had been a week since our departure and the events of Terminus. Even though Carol, Tyreese and I had stocked up on food, with the addition of ten members we had to seriously ration the supplies. But for now everyone was in good spirits.

I sat down besides Rick with Carl and Judith. The latter who gave me a grin. I pinched her adorable cheeks as she squinted with her eyes.

"Hi." Rick gave me a smile as I smiled back.

"So what's for Dinner?" I rubbed my hands looking at them.

"Well, you guys left us with plenty of pecans." Carl handed me a bag full of them.

"Joy," I muttered sarcastically as I began chewing on a few of them. We were constantly hungry, constantly looking for more food. I had gotten used to our comfortable life on the prison, but now I was even starting to get used to our starvation rations.

"Anyone got roast chicken?" I asked.

"Yeah sure let me just head over to the nearest Walmart." Rick smirked sarcastically.

"If we did find a Walmart, that would be amazing." I thought wistfully.

"Yeah, if it hasn't already been cleared out." Rick muttered.

"Or taken over by walkers." Carl quipped.

"Do you see what I have to deal with Judy? No optimism." I groaned as the she looked at me questionably.

I followed Rick's line of sight as he looked at Tara. He had accepted her into the group no problem, but he needed to talk to her. I knew that look on her face, she didn't feel like she belonged yet, she still felt guilty and needed affirmation.

"Talk to her." I gestured as Rick turned back to me.

"I know you've been meaning to, now's a good time." I smiled encouragingly as Rick nodded. He handed the formula bottle to me as he walked over to her, the rifle in his hand.

"So how are you?" I made conversation with Carl.

"I'm good. Hungry, but good." He answered politely.

"I'm sorry. I've made things awkward between us." I smiled uneasily.

"No it's just, gonna take time getting used to." Carl shrugged, but I knew it bothered him.

"I'm not trying to replace your mom. You know I would never do that kid, but I really like your dad. But I respect your feelings, and if you're not okay with it, then I'll back off." I held my breath waiting for him to answer. Carl chewed on the nuts for a few minutes, before answering.

"No, it's okay. I know dad likes you too, and Judith does. We'll make it work." Carl smiled slightly as I returned it with wide smile of my own.

"Thanks kid."

...

The next day we set out again. Rifles in hand, guns in holsters and machetes ready for any unsavoury characters. We were running low on water, so Carol and Tyreese used the river to collect water. We filtered it through our cloths and boiled it when we could, hoping it was safe enough to drink.

The general easy atmosphere had been replaced by a more serious determination to find a place. We weren't in desperate situations, but everyone was painfully aware of our low food stock and the extra mouths to feed.

I walked with Rick at the front of the group, fingers lingering over the trigger for the rifles. We walked along an unmarked road, no cars in sight. A walker stumbled out of the treeline as Michonne stepped forward.

"I got it." She said as we walked past her. She reached behind for her katana, which was no longer there. Once she finished with the walker, she caught up to us.

"Man I miss that thing." She groaned.

"You've got a weird intimate relationship with that katana." I commented as Rick chuckled beside me.

"You know how much you love your boxing? That's how much I love my katana." Michonne emphasised.

"Fair enough." I whistled. My eyes glanced over to Rick, studying his face and then drawn to his lips.

We had only snuck a few kisses in here and there, it was so hard to hide when his kids were around him all the time. We had been stuck with hand holding and forehead kisses, which I loved. But I just wanted some alone time with him.

The same night, we gathered around the fire listening to Abraham tell us stories of his military time. It was a nice distraction, but it wasn't enough. Carl and Judith had settled onto the same bed roll by the fire, the older brother hugging his sister to sleep.

I sat beside them, warming my hands over the flickering flames.

"Pol." I turned around as Rick called my name, inclining his head for me to follow him. I got up from the wooden tree stump, watching as Rosita sent me a wink. I followed him a little away from the group, we came to Daryl and Carol who were on watch, nodding their heads to us.

"You're not taking me out here to kill me are you?" I joked as we stepped over some of the twisted roots.

We came to behind some trees, just out of sight of Daryl and Carol as Rick turned around to face me.

"I never had the chance to thank you. For what you did for my daughter, you took care of her when I wasn't here. And she's alive because of you." I could make out the blue of his eyes in the darkness.

"It wasn't all me. Tyreese and Carol were there, and without them I wouldn't have made it." I defended.

"You're too modest." Rick argued.

"You should thank them too."

"I have done. I'm tryin' to thank you right now." Rick stepped forward, until he was in front of me.

"You have." I said confused.

Rick tilted his head down until his face was inches from mine. He placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled me in, capturing my lips against his. I pulled apart looking into his eyes.

"Is this how you thank all your friends?" I whispered.

Rick answered by pulling me towards him, trapping my lips in were soft and warm as I closed my eyes, revelling in his touch. I needed this. I wrapped my hands up to loop them around his neck, as his lips moved against mine. I sighed in content as he pushed me, until my back his the tree.

My hands rubbed the back of his neck gently, which I knew he liked by the way he kissed me deeply and more erratically

My hands tugging on the hairs at the base of his neck, it seemed to prompt him to kiss me deeper. His beard scratched my jaw, but I was too busy enjoying him to care.

His kisses became more eager as he opened his mouth and slipped his tongue inside my mouth. His hands were rubbing my arms up and down gently.

We broke apart for air as he kissed the base of my neck, I closed my eyes pulling and tugging on his hair. Each kiss on my skin burned with his touch, yearning for me.

"Rick." I groaned, his sweet kisses peppering my jaw. I was hedging my self-control.

"Rick." I said more firmly pulling his hair so he came away from my neck. We both looked at each other, breathing deeply.

"I want to take it slow." I sighed quietly holding his hands as he rested his forehead against mine.

"I know, I'm sorry. I got carried away." He had an intense look on his face. It took all my willpower to not grab that beautiful head of hair and kiss him all over again.

"We both did." I smiled admittedly.

His eyes were dark, still swirling with lust for a few minutes ago. I was too scared to tell them, that I had never even gone that far with anyone. I had never been kissed or kissed anyone like that, let alone had sex.

"I'm sorry." Rick said.

"For what?" I tentatively placed a hand on his cheek, the hairs of his beard bristling my hands.

"I pushed away and kept you waiting for so long, even when I knew how I felt about you. He said apologetically, leaning his face into my hand. He pressed his lips against my hand, causing a warm sensation through me.

"I waited, because I love you. You've been through a lot Rick, don't be so hard on yourself. You've got me now." I rubbed his cheek.

"But here is not really the best place, for that." I gestured to the trees around us smirking as Rick let out a small embarrassed smile.

"This is not like you." I raised an eyebrow at his confidence. The Rick I know would never throw caution to the wind and have a heated make-out session in the woods, where a walker could stumble out at any moment.

"Yeah I know." He muttered embarrassed.

"I talked to Abraham and well he, he encouraged me to be a little spontaneous." He explained.

"I was caught a little off guard. Interestingly enough, I had a similar conversation with Rosita." I giggled, remembering the day before.

"Okay, I have a better idea. As great as that was, let's take it at our own pace. Not anyone else's let's just enjoy this." I worded it carefully, we could have a serious conversation another time.

"I would love that." Rick sighed.

He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on my lips before pulling apart. The taste and warmth of his lips lingered even when he pulled away.

"Much better." I smiled taking his hand in my own.

"I think you gave me beard rash." I scratched my jaw, feeling it sting as I lead him back towards the camp.

"I'll be much more careful next time I kiss you." Rick said.

"That better be a promise Grimes."

...

"I take credit for catching these." I held up the brace of squirrels, I had hunted with Daryl as we began walking back to the group.

"I killed them." Daryl commented.

"Yeah, but it was my trap. The student has surpassed the master." I said smugly.

"You got a long way to go 'fore that." Daryl scoffed.

"You and Rick disappeared last night." He said after a few moments.

"Nothing happened, like you think it did." I shot him a look, after seeing his affronted expression.

"That's not me." I defended, but blushed remembering how heated our kiss got.

"Alright." Daryl relented, noting my expression.

"We got a long way to go 'fore that." I mimicked Daryl's accent as he looked offended.

We stepped out from behind the trees as the rest of the group pointed their guns and rifles at us.

"We surrender." Daryl drawled.

"And that's how you greet the people who bring you food? Pitiful." I shook my head, as the group visibly relaxed lowering their weapons. Michonne and Carl grinned at us, as Rick took Daryl aside for a minute.

"I'm starting to like rabbits." Carl said.

"You better, I spent time perfecting that trap last night." I shoved Carl gently as he looked back at me with a glare, walking ahead with his father and Abraham.

We walked through the woods in silence. A few days ago we had turned off the road and headed into the forests again, Rick was convinced we were too exposed out there and thought it would be best if we took this route.

But I knew Abraham was eager to get back on the road. He and Rosita were taking Eugene to Washington DC. Apparently he knew a cure to end the whole damn apocalypse, which I found hard to believe. After I found out he was a scientist, I approached him to ask about it. But the most I got out of him, was him saying that it was classified. So I left it, trusting that they knew what they were talking about.

"What are you looking at?" Rick caught me as I continued to squint at him.

"I'm trying to picture you without that beard." I put my hand over the bottom half of his face, then removed it.

"I like my men with some facial hair." I said as I tapped his cheek.

"I thought my beard cut you, last night?" Rick said lowly pointing to my face.

"I know but if it means I get to look at your handsome face, worth it." I grinned as Rick shook his head amused.

"So if I shaved my beard, you wouldn't like me anymore?" Rick checked.

"That's right Mr Grimes." I affirmed.

"So what you're saying is that you're in love with my beard?" Rick asked in mock hurt.

"Yep, without the beard I'm afraid you just lose your whole appeal." I sighed dramatically.

"Thats a shame, I thought you loved me for my winning personality." He said

But our banter was cut off by the sound of a man shouting.

"Help! Anybody help! Somebody!" We could make out the desperate cries as Rick put his hand out to stop the group from running.

"Dad come on! Dad!" Carl urged him, looking back and forth from the sound.

"Dad!" Rick nodded as we all ran towards the sound. I knew he was apprehensive. Not unlike Terminus, it could be someone luring us into a trap. But it could also be someone who needs our help.

"Help!" The man cried out again.

We came to find a man scrambling on a large rock, his feet were caught by the decaying hands of a dozen walkers, eager to eat him. Carl let out the first shot with his gun, nailing the walker in the head.

I pulled out my machete, chopping the arms that were reaching for the man's feet.

"Behind you!" He shouted. I turned around and embedded the machete into the head of the walker. Slamming another walker into the rock I smashed it's head with the butt of the rifle. We finished off the walker and looked up to the whimpering man on the rock.

"We're clear, keep watch." Rick instructed Daryl.

"Come on down." Rick urged the man, his eyes focusing on his appearance. He clambered down as the rest of the group looked at him in curiosity and suspicion.

"You okay?" Our leader asked. In response the man wearing a minister's outfit emptied the contents of his stomach, as we looked away in disgust.

"Sorry," he sniffled.

"Yes, thank you. I'm Gabriel." He introduced himself with a sheepish smile, noticeably calm.

"Do you have any weapons on you?" Rick asked as we all observed the man.

"Does it look like I have any weapons on me?" Gabriel asked incredulously.

"We don't give two short and curlies, what it looks like." Abraham countered.

"I don't have weapons of any kind. The word of God is the only protection I need." He proclaimed.

"Sure didn't look like it." Daryl quipped.

"Do you have any food?" Gabriel asked.

I nudged Carl, subtley handing him the bag of pecans he had shared with me earlier. I gestured for him to give them to the priest.

"We have some pecans." Carl held his hand out giving him a friendly smile as the priest accepted.

"That's a beautiful child." He said looking at Judith in Tyreese's arms, we continued looking at him apprehensively. He seemed, harmless.

"Do you have a camp?" He asked.

"No, do you?" Rick narrowed his eyes at him.

"I have a church." Gabriel replied, as my eyes widened in surprise. I saw the looks of hope on the rest of the group's faces, that meant shelter and possibly some food.

"Hold your hands above your head." Rick instructed the man, as he began searching his pockets and sleeves for weapons.

"How many walkers have you killed?" He asked.

"Not any actually." He replied as Rick turned him around harshly, checking his trousers. Finding Gabriel and finding out he had a church just seemed too good to be true, and the fact there were still good people out here, I wanted to believe it so badly I almost felt sorry he was subject to the questioning.

"How many people you killed?" Rick asked again. His questions reminded me of the recruitment we used to do back at the prison, whenever we found someone this would determine if we had let them in.

"None." Gabriel answered immediately.

"Why?"

"Because the lord abhors violence." Gabriel answered confidently, but I could detect the nervousness in his eyes.

"What have you done?" Rick came up to him, apparently he wasn't trusting him either.

"We've all done something." Rick emphasised, trying to unnerve him.

"I'm a sinner, I sin everyday. But those I confess to God, not to strangers." Gabriel dismissed him.

"You said you have a church?" Michonne casually leaned against the rock, lightening the mood.

...

We had decided to follow Gabriel, still not fully trusting him. It was our suspicion that kept our senses alert and our instincts ready to fight or flight of things went awry. I wanted to keep my excitement buried, but the prospect of finding shelter especially as winter was approaching was just too damn exciting.

The priest led the way through the woods, Rick trying to ascertain more of his personality and what he could potentially be hiding.

"Earlier were you watching us?" Rick asked as we walked briskly.

"No, I keep to myself. Nowadays people are just as dangerous to us as the dead. Don't you think?" He glanced behind him.

"No, people are worse." I answered, thinking of Terminus and the man who tried to kill Judith.

"Well I wasn't watching you. I haven't been beyond the stream of the church since the outbreak started." Gabriel promised. Rick stared at him suspiciously.

"Or maybe I'm lying, maybe there's no church at all. Maybe I'm leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels." Gabriel scoffed as the rest of us glared at him.

"Want me to knock him out?" I suggested as we rounded on him, not agreeing with his joke.

"Members of my flock have often told me my sense of humour leaves much to be desired." Gabriel sobered up.

"Yeah it does." Daryl said darkly.

Gabriel turned around and continued walking. After a few minutes we came to a footpath which lead to a white coloured church building. It looked quite secure, but it was eerily quiet. Gabriel approached the large wooden doors, with keys in hand.

"Hold up, we just wanna take a look 'round." Rick held his hand out for the keys.

"We just wanna hold on to our squirrels." He deadpanned as I smirked.

Gabriel reluctantly handed the keys over to Rick, who handed them to me. I unlocked the church doors and we entered, rifles up. The congregated hall was dark, but spread out into a good distance. There were a few side rooms, with tables and drawings. I followed Rick into the office which had a couch and a blanket. There were bibles sprawled out.

"What do you think?" I poked the notebooks with the tip of my rifle.

"I dunno. He's hiding sumthin'." Rick said lowly. We went back out into the church hall. At the front was a stand where ministers and priests could give their sermons.

"Look at this." I gestured for Rick as we looked behind the gate. There were a number of opened food cans, lined up along the back wall.

"I don't think he was alone." I whispered looking around.

"Yeah." Rick agreed before whistling.

The rest of the group left the church once we were satisfied there was no one inside. We stood outside the church as Abraham approached us.

"We found a short bus outside. It don't run, but I bet we could fix that in less than a day or two. Father here says he doesn't want it. Looks like we got ourselves some transport." Abraham looked down at Rick who played with Judith's hair. I knew what that meant, it meant three of them would be leaving us soon.

"You understand what's at stake here, right?" Abraham checked.

"Yes I do." Rick said. Translation: we would lose three more people, three people who could help defend the group, bring in more supplies, more food and more ways to fortify our shelter.

"Are you sure Washington still stands?" I interjected as Abraham turned his attention to me.

"I gotta hope. Eugene says that he has the cure, a way to stop this. And it's may job to deliver him there, come what may." Abraham said firmly.

"This virus evolved at an unprecedented rate, it was supposed to be a way to combat and destroy the HIV virus, but it mutated rapidly. If what Eugene has is a similar thing, it's not gonna help." I argued.

"Excuse me miss, but I don't expect you'd understand the ramifications and the complications of such a thing." Eugene spoke.

"Excuse me, but I was a Scientist at the CDC so I think I know what I'm taking about." I said angrily, Rick placed a hand on my forearm calming me down as I sighed.

"We need supplies no matter what happens next." I said calmly walking into the church.

"That's right. Water, food, ammunition." Rick followed me as his hands grasped my wrist gently.

"Are you alright?" His steely blue eyes locked on mine.

"I don't wanna split up again." Rick wrapped an arm around my shoulders, planting a kiss in my hair.

"We won't." he said reassuringly, his head against mine.

 **A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed that and hope it satisfied your fluff needs. Just a PSA that I don't write smut, I think I've said it before that it's gonna be PG friendly even though this story is rated a T. Sorry to disappoint some of you.**


	45. Chapter 45 - Father Gabriel

**A/N: Yes, yes I know it's Friday evening. But it's technically still Friday, so happy update day! I literally, literally just finished writing the chapter. Like right now, it's a bit filler-y but it's the rest of 5.02, big decisions to be made here. and some reservations. And we get a snapshot of how Rickaris (can't decide if that works as a ship name xD), work and fight as a couple. Hope you enjoy!**

 **Thanks for the follows and faves: Vines of Blasphemy (love your name!), .9! And to my reviewers:**

 **Purplepecky: Thank you! enjoy this one.**

 **Ryane: Aww thanks! I didn't wanna write them overly sappy, but I still wanted plenty of fluff. I hope this chapter delivers in that department too. Haha I personally love mountain-man Rick like honestly, when I was watching and writing this episode I was just checking out Rick the entire time because he looked so damn good xD. But his beard will have to go, I've got a good scene to go with it though (when I write it!)**

 **If you guys noticed, I finished this chapter early because it was already so long. But I'll cover the events that happen at the end of the episode in the next chapter.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**

"Sleep if you're tired." Rick bent down to plant a kiss on my forehead as I put my legs up, sitting down.

"No, if you guys are awake so am I." I shook my head stubbornly, yawning.

"Pol." Rick sighed.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you sneaking off,, super early super early in the morning." I scolded him.

Rick had always been an early riser, even in the prison he was up before everyone. Being more productive in the early hours than I was all day.

"I like to check the perimeter. And I was on watch last night." He defended.

"I just can't sleep out there." Rick leaned forward on his elbows over the chair to talk.

"I know." I patted his arm.

"Hopefully you'll get more sleep here." I looked at him worriedly.

I was suddenly distracted, my eyes raked over the thin material of the T-shirt I hadn't noticed he was wearing. My lips curled upwards into a smile.

I was suddenly distracted, my eyes raked over the thin material of the T-shirt he was wearing.

"What?" Rick raised his eyebrows.

"Just admiring the goods." I clicked my teeth together as Rick suppressed a smile.

"I'm serious sheriff." I let my eyes roam over his form again.

"I'm feelin' a little violated." Rick said admittedly as I grinned.

"Well, you look pretty." He said after a while.

"Are you kidding? I look a mess." I smiled at his attempts to flirt.

"Its good you got me already, you're a terrible flirt." I joked as Rick rolled his eyes.

"You always look beautiful to me." His thumb rubbed soft circles on my hands, his gaze transfixed on mine. I could feel my heart melt as his touch, his sincerity astounded me sometimes. The simplest things he did and I was purely at his mercy.

"But in all seriousness, I won't sleep until you promise you will. Tonight." I said firmly, looking at the bags under his eyes as Rick sighed.

"Okay, I won't go on watch tonight." Rick relented as I smiled, walking away.

My eyes followed down to Rick's backside, the shape of it visible through his jeans. I whistled lowly causing him to turn around and narrow his eyes at me.

"He does have a nice ass." Tara followed my line of sight, settling down in the row in front of me.

"Tell me about it." I smirked.

He walked over to Father Gabriel, as the rest of us waited to hear what he would say.

"How did you survive out here? Where did your supplies come from?" Rick asked as I sunk down further into the chairs.

"Luck." Father Gabriel smiled.

"Our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart right after we finished it." The priest smiled slightly.

Wow, that was sheer dumb luck. I shook my head, if only others were just as lucky. Carl took Judith from Rick as he sat down in the row behind me.

"The food lasted a long time and then I started scavenging. I've cleaned out a place nearby, except for one." He finished.

I sat up straighter in my chair, glancing at Michonne who also looked more alert. An un-scavenged place near could mean a vast array of supplies, food, water, clothes, things we need for shelter. It could turn our situation from drastic to comfortable.

"What kept you from it?" Rick asked, holding the rifle across his body.

"It's overrun." Gabriel replied. I sat down with a groan, grumbling under my breath. Of course there had to be a catch.

"How many?"

"A dozen or so, maybe more." He answered.

A dozen? We could handle that easily and only a few of us would be needed.

"We can handle that." Rick echoed my thoughts.

"Bob and I will go with you. Tyreese should stay here, help keep Judith safe." Sasha spoke up, flashing her brother a comforting smile.

"You okay with that?" Rick asked Tyreese who smiled.

"You need anything for her, I'll be there." Tyreese stated.

"I'm grateful for that, and everything else." Rick gave him one of his famous intense stares.

Rick, Sasha and Bob were enough for this run. But I knew he was running on fumes, he hadn't rested well like the rest of us and he had been giving up his rationed foods for others as well. There was no way I would let him go without me.

"I'm coming too." I spoke up, walking over to Rick.

"Are you sure?" Rick spoke lowly, looking down at me.

"Yeah." I flashed him a smile.

"I know you're tired, it's alright for you to rest if you want." Rick added.

"Nah. I get to spend more time with you." I said quietly so only he could hear, as he suppressed a smile.

"Besides, I don't want you to third-wheel these two." I nudged Sasha and Bob who grinned.

"We're not that bad." Sasha exclaimed.

"So it's settled, I'll draw you a map." Father Gabriel began to walk off.

"You don't need to, you're coming with us." Rick said to him, the tone in his voice making it clear there was no room for question.

"I'm not gonna be of any help. You saw me, I'm no good around those things." His voice wavered.

I felt a small pang of sympathy for the man. Sure he had shelter and a seemingly large food supply but he had survived this whole thing from the start on his own. I was lucky to have found the others, that loneliness must have driven him crazy. And I had to agree with him, I didn't think he would be of any help.

But Rick usually sensed something in people before the rest of us realised. So I knew he had a reason for bringing him along. And if I knew Rick, it would be to see if we could really trust Father Gabriel, and how he would handle desperate situations.

"You're coming with us." Rick emphasised again.

"The rest of us will fan out and split into groups." Rick announced to everyone else.

"Carol and Daryl, you guys go look for more water, check the roads for any cars that have supplies in the trunk." He instructed them.

"Tara, Glenn, Maggie - handle the gun store on the outset of town. See if we can scavenge some more weapons." Rick looked at the map, nodding at them.

...

I opened the chamber to the colt and checked the bullets. 4. There were 4 bullets left. I opened the rifle cartridge which was sufficiently stocked and we had more to spare. Hopefully we wouldn't have to use much of our ammo, we could make work of the walkers with our knives and machetes, but the guns were reserved for emergencies.

I laced up my boots and shrugged the leather jacket on, but immediately threw it back off. It was way too hot.

"Listen." I looked up as Rick and Carl walked in, Carl sitting in front of me. I leaned over the seats to listen to what he had to say.

"I don't trust this guy." He said.

"Why?" Carl interjected.

"Why do you trust him?" Rick asked inquisitively.

"Everybody can't be bad." Carl looked between the two of us as I cracked a smile.

"Well, I don't trust this guy. That's why I'm bringing him with me. He could have friends, so I need you to stay alert. Help Tyreese protect Judith. Okay?" He looked up at Carl, who nodded.

It was times like this I fully appreciated how Carl was still a kid, and that he had a huge responsibility in looking after the others in our group. But he never once complained or faltered. I had to admit I admired him.

"Now, I need you to hear what I'm about to say." Rick looked at Carl.

"You are not safe. No matter how many people are around, or how clear the area looks. No matter what anyone says, no matter what you think. You are not safe. It only takes one second. One second and it's over. Never let your guard down. Ever. I want you to promise me." Rick spoke lowly.

It had to be in reference to what had happened to Carl. He was less chatty than he had been in the past.

"I promise." Carl said seriously. I lifted his sheriff's hat and ruffled his hair, causing Carl to look at me in displeasure.

"Old habits. Stay safe." I grinned, tapping the necklace as he nodded.

Rick and I both stood up ready to leave before Carl called him back again.

"Dad. You're right I am strong. We both are. But we're strong enough that we can still help people, and we can handle ourselves when things go wrong. We're strong enough that we don't have to be afraid and we don't have to hide." Carl finished calmly.

I glanced at Rick, who had the words proud father plastered in his eyes and on his face.

"Well he's hiding something." Rick said as Carl nodded.

"I'll stay safe Dad." Carl reassured him.

...

"That kid of yours has a way with words." I glanced up at Rick.

"Yeah, he took after Lori in that." Rick looked in the distance as we walked off the path from the church.

I felt exposed in just my T-shirt and jeans. But with my colt, machete and the rifle at least we would be well prepared for attacks.

"You must miss Lori." I felt the guilt running through me, at the mention of his dead wife.

"Pol." Rick put his arm out to stop me walking. Sasha and Bob stopped in front of us as Rick gestured for them to keep walking. Michonne gave me a sideways glance, joining Father Gabriel at the head.

"Lori was my wife, a part of me will miss her always." Rick put his hands on his hips.

"But you," He leaned in, whispering.

"You're here now. You're my present and my future, and I love you. So please don't compare yourself to Lori. Because I love you for who you are." He rubbed his thumb over my cheek as I leaned into his hand.

It was incredibly sweet what he had said. And it made me extremely hopeful for the future of our relationship.

"I can see where Carl got it from." I smirked as Rick cracked a smile.

"Come here." Rick bent down to my height and placed a chaste kiss on my lips which I eagerly returned. His lips were warm and welcoming and if it was my choice, I would continue kissing him in the woods right there.

"As much as I would love. To keep. Doing this." Rick said in-between kisses as I kept pulling his face in.

"We've got this pesky supply run to do." I groaned.

"Your beard is scratching me." I rubbed my chin, feeling the prickly sensation of his beard. We jogged to catch up with the others.

"I thought you liked my beard?" Rick asked.

"I love it. But ow." I stroked my chin.

"Here let me make it better." Rick placed soft kisses on my jaw before we re-joined the others.

"That's much better." I grinned at him.

Gabriel led us out of the woods and onto a small town road where there were houses ahead in the distance. We walked down the street which had abandoned cars, broken doors and windows of the houses were visible. The sun was shining and the heat was baring down on my neck.

I could feel the sweat gathering on my neck and face, a heavy layer of dirt and grime over us.

"Man I would kill for a shower." Sasha walked beside me at the back of our group, echoing my own thoughts.

"Urgh me too. Just imagine the hot water rolling over your shoulder blades." I shivered in pleasure at the thought. It had been so long since I had a decent shower - all the way back at the prison.

"You make it sound so erotic." Michonne smirked at me.

"Well you girls know I've got nothing to compare it to. So, hot shower? Or sex?" I looked at them.

"Hot shower." Sasha and Michonne glanced at each other as we all burst out laughing.

We reached the small town, there were a few shops that had already been cleaned out. Gabriel led us at the back of old buildings, until we came to metal links in a fence.

"Do you guys trust him?" I watched the priest in front of us who seemed to be relatively calm, considering the situation he was forced into. Sasha pointed her rifle up towards a broken in door beside us.

"I think we can." Michonne said, scanning the town.

"Yeah I agree. But I still think he's hidin' something." Sasha commented, glancing at the priest.

"We push ourselves to let things go. Pretty soon we can't get it back. Washington's gonna happen, Rick." My ears perked up at Bob's conversation with Rick.

"I haven't decided if we're going." Rick emphasised.

"Yeah I know and that's cool. But you seen Abraham in action. He's gonna get there and Eugene's gonna cure all this and you're gonna find yourself in a place where it's like how it used to be." Bob drawled.

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. If we did go to Washington, I wanted to go for the right reasons. The chance that there was a better life waiting, more opportunities, to find a home, shelter, food and possibly people. Not on the minimal chance that Eugene was gonna cure us. Because that I called bullshit on.

I scoffed, causing Rick and Bob to turn around at the sound.

"You don't think we should go?" Bob asked, eager to hear my opinion.

"It's not that. As long as we go for the right reasons. As I said to Eugene, it's highly doubtful that there is a cure. It was such an aggressive viral strain and it spiralled out of control. If we go to find a better home, then I'm all for it." I explained.

"What if there's the slightest chance for a cure? You don't think it's worth it?" Bob questioned again.

I paused for a moment, not sure how to answer. He had a good point, isn't hope what all of us were clinging on to anyways?

"That's not for me to decide." I shared a look with Rick who looked pensive.

"If you let too much go along the way that's not gonna work. Cause you gonna be back in the real world." Bob looked at Rick.

"This is the real world Bob." Rick spoke.

"Naw, this is a nightmare. And nightmares end." Bob's words stayed with me, I wanted to believe that I really did. I never thought about this ending, I had only thought about my one instinct. Which was to survive.

"I'm sorry, I'm callin' it. Washington's gonna happen. You're gonna say yes." Bob said confidently as I smiled.

"There's too much momentum. You can't fight city hall." he finished as I chuckled, Rick shot him an amused look as Bob smiled at him further.

We came back up to the main road and found a white brick building.

"Here, this was the food bank. It served the whole county, all the cans at my church were gonna end up here." Gabriel explained as we surveyed the building.

"Well you got lucky." I shot the priest a sideways grin as he smiled slightly.

"Yeah," Rick said disbelievingly.

He gestured to Michonne as we readied our weapons. She swung the door open and Rick led us into the dark building, rifles up and on our guard.

It was silent, save for our footsteps as we walked past what used to be a reception area into a large open room. There were half broken shelves with boxes on them, hairs scattered around the room. Big windows letting light in. There were some jackets and clothes hung up against the wall with the majority of furniture scattered in pieces.

I kept the rifle steady in my arms as we heard a splashing noise. Rick placed his hand up as we stopped on the other side of the room. Following the splashing came snarling from a giant wooden hole in the ground.

We walked closer to where Rick was and was immediately hit by a foul smell. I buried my face into the sleeve and scrunched up my nose at the disgusting smell. It was a mixture of decaying, rotting flesh walkers moving around in sewer water.

"If a sewer could puke, this is what it'd smell like." Bob groaned.

The sounds of more snarling and movement began to fill the air. I snapped my head up, scanning the room but could find no walkers. Michonne pointed to the ceiling which had large holes, letting more light in from outside.

"Water's been coming here for a while, slimed this place up good." She said quietly.

We scanned the hole in the ground, there were five or six walkers in the water, with some broken shelves separating us.

"Of course the food has to be down there." I looked at the rotten luck of our situation.

"We can use the shelves to block 'em." Sasha said.

"Yeah, that's it, Sasha. There's our way. Down those shelves." We swung the rifles over our backs.

Rick looked at me as I nodded reassuringly. He slid down the shelf into the water, drawing the attention of a walker. The rest of us followed quickly, landing in the cold, dank water. The walkers became alert and began wading the water towards us.

"Go! Go!" Rick shouted. We backed up against the wall, lower body submerged in water and pulled the shelves around us to form a barrier.

"Sasha, Bob, you take right." Rick instructed.

"Pol, help me take this." We pulled the left shell towards us, barricading us in.

The walkers reached their arms over the holes in the shelf, trying to reach for us.

"I see three here!" me and Rick used our machetes to finish the ones closest to us.

I glanced at the nervous father Gabriel, who was looking anxious and twitchy. More walkers approached us as the other four got busy.

"Father!" I called out, watching as he whimpered and scrambled out of the shelves. I looked for Rick or Michonne but they were busy stabbing the walkers.

He managed to make his way to the opposite wall, trying to climb out back to the ground level but he stumbled.

"Come back here!" I called out, but he shook his head.

"Oh for fucks sake." I grumbled, wading through the water. I stuck my machete into a walker which stumbled towards me, it's entrails bobbing in the water.

I stood in front of the priest, killing the walkers that came our way.

"Rick!" I called his attention towards us, as he looked at us in disbelief and in alarm. There was a barely perceptible anger in his eyes.

I held off the walkers, but more were surrounding us and I couldn't rely on Gabriel's help.

"We have to help Pol. We gotta get Gabriel." Rick turned to Bob.

Out of the corner of my eye I found another walker which placed it hands on the priest's collar. He shouted as I shoved the walker away, chopping it's head off.

"A little help guys!" I said a little more urgently, seeing the sheer number of walkers coming towards us.

The four of them pushed one of the shelves down over the walkers they were battling and broke free of their barricade. I was breathing heavily from the exertion as another walker emerged from the shadows.

Rick came and made quick work of the walker lunging for Gabriel, coming to stand by us.

"You alright?" Rick placed his hands on my face and shoulders as I nodded.

"Yeah." I said.

"We are." I glanced at Gabriel who whimpered and held onto the wall.

We had cleared the walkers as Bob took one of the boxes, going over to the food, suddenly a walker lunged from the water and grabbed Bob. Sasha killed the walker quickly, hugging Bob.

Once we were sure that there were no more, we began loading whatever food we could find in crates and boxes. Not wanting to spend any more time, we left the food bank as Rick paused in the building whilst the rest waited outside.

"Rick I'm fine." I emphasised as he gently lifted my arms, checking my shoulders and neck for any bite marks. I lifted the bottom of my shirt slightly to re-iterate.

"You risked your life for him." I could see Rick's frustration showing through.

"He acted stupidly and he was in trouble." I shrugged slightly, keeping my tone even.

"We don't even know if we can trust him yet. I wish you waited." Rick sighed heavily.

"He was about to become walker-bait, I couldn't stand by and let it happen. Especially since he's given us shelter." I narrowed my eyes slightly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I know. But in situations like that, we need to do things together, make sure you have back-up when going into somethin' like that." Rick said in a low voice.

"Yeah, I know." I sighed. He was right, I had been rash. But I wasn't going to sit by and wait for a walker to eat Gabriel.

"I stand by my actions." I said firmly, looking Rick in the eye.

"Listen I know you're fully capable of looking after yourself, but I can't lose you." Rick pleaded holding my hand.

"I know." I gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'll make sure I have back up next time."

...

"You heathen." I knocked the fork out of Glenn's mouth causing Maggie and Tara to laugh at him.

We had opened some of the cans we found, it was now evening and for the first time we were enjoying food inside. Abraham poured large slops of the peas and carrots into the paper plate, licking the spoon as he put it back into the bowl.

"You uncultured swine." I gasped in horror as the ginger-haired man gave me a smirk.

"Sorry sweetheart, I'm a big man. I need more food. More energy to keep us alive. And other things." He sent a wink at Rosita.

"Ignore him." She shook her head and followed him.

I put food in my plate and joined Rick and Tyreese sitting against a wooden gate in the church. They were thoroughly entertained with Judith, who was sitting against his knees and putting her hands into Rick's mouth.

"Ahhh," Rick opened his mouth wide to entertain his daughter who babbled. She gave me a toothy smile as I sat next to Rick, reaching her arms out for me.

"How comes she smiles at you?" Rick complained as he took a sip from his glass of wine.

"Probably because I spent a month non-stop with her." I smirked, placing a fork of food into Rick's mouth. I handed him the plate and took Judith for a minute, cuddling and kissing her.

"Got you a plate. _Babe_." I grinned, handing him his food. Rick winced at the nickname as Tyreese smiled, shaking his head.

"So no to that pet name?" I joked, handing the baby back to him.

"Yeah, definite no." Rick laughed.

"I'd like to propose a toast." Abraham announced, holding his glass up. Everyone else settled down on the ground.

"I look around this room, I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors!" He held as glass up.

"Cheers!"

"Is that all you want to be?" Abraham asked as we paused our eating.

"Fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep with two eyes open. Rinse and repeat? Cause you can do that, you got the strength and the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do. That's just surrender." He continued.

He had a very good point. We were surviving, but we weren't really living. Not like the home we had at the prison.

"Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for this little road-trip." he smirked.

Rick looked at me. He knew how I felt about it, how I was sceptical of Eugene's plan to cure humanity of it's zombie problem.

"Eugene, what's in Washington?" Abraham asked, as we turned to face the scientist.

"Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart." Eugene said simply.

"However this plays out, however long it takes for the restart button to kick in. You can stay there." Abraham looked directly at me.

And if there was a chance for a better home, why shouldn't we take it?

"Come with us. Save the world for that little one." He spoke to Rick. I looked at Rick who drummed his fingers against his knees, looking around at everyone.

I glanced at Michonne who was enamoured by his speech. I could see the rest of the group forming a resolve, making their minds up. I realised they all wanted to go. They believed in Abraham and in Eugene's promise.

I wasn't sure about Eugene, but Washington being the capital would be more secure. And it would be better than the sticky heat of Georgia.

"Save it for the people out there, who don't got nothing left to do but survive." Abraham's voice was softer.

Rick's gaze settled on me, as I took a deep breath and nodded. For survival, it was the right thing to do. He chuckled as Judith made a babbling noise.

"What was that?" Rick leaned in to his daughter.

"I think she knows what I'm about to say." He turned to Tyreese with a smile.

"She's in. If she's in, I'm in." Rick looked at Judith squeezing my hand. We laughed at the baby's antics.

"We're in."

Clapping and applause broke out at Rick's decision, the rest of the group smiling and laughing.

"You made the right decision." I pressed my lips to his cheek, as he stood up handing Judith off to Sasha.

 **A/N: So after this bit in the episode, we see Carol starting up a car to leave but Daryl stops here. Then they see a car with a white cross speeding off (it's the car that Beth got taken in). Daryl and Carol get in the car and go off to follow them. Bob is outside on watch, happy and smiling but then...**

 **You'll find out! (This is all canon for you guys who haven't seen it yet, I'll touch on it in the next episode).**

 **Thoughts?**


	46. Chapter 46 - Cannibalism Is A Sin

**A/N: My lovely beautiful readers, I am so sorry for the two week hiatus but I feel like I needed a bit of a break from writing fanfic even though I love it. Also I was working on some important job applications, so I dedicated my time to that. But hopefully back on a regular update schedule! So the last chapter covered 5.02, I managed to fit in the events of 5.03 in this chapter, which is kind of a big deal plotwise. In terms of Terminus and Bob related events, also their trip to Washington. It's mainly canon, but I tried to integrate Pol and fit in more dialogue here and there, I know she didn't interact with as many characters in this chapter but there's so many of them! So I'll try working on that. We're in the honeymoon phase of Rickaris, so there's no problems right now but they'll butt heads on stuff later on. You'll see when I write it!**

 **Thanks to all the follows and faves: NaRuKo-InuTaiSHo-XD, Sameeh202, lilylittle, Sophiea Lilia, Leslieskinner20. And to all the lovely reviewers!**

 **Gracie Miserables: Thank you! Oh don't worry, Gareth is going to get his. It's more of a group effort, I kinda took the central focus off Pol even though she's the main character of this story and more on Bob and Sasha.**

 **Skylar97: Omg thank you so much, I love it when people binge read my fic. I'm glad it was worth it! Thank you. So obvs Rick and Michonne won't be a thing in S6, I've got an idea I'm going to run with. Haha yes I will try to fit in more Daryl and Pol as much as possible. By spice up, do you mean their intimacy? Or more drama as in they don't agree on stuff? So even though it's rated a T, I don't write explicit scenes but you'll know when they do have sex. and regarding the sanctuary, I haven't actually decided on that yet. But there will be big stuff with Negan I can promise you! So I usually update on Fridays, and I won't abandon or ignore it don't worry!**

 **Guest: Okay so back in the first few chapters Rick gave her a colt python which she still has (let's say there were two colt pythons and Rick has one, but he gave the other to Pol which has her initial engraved), she also carries a machete, she doesn't carry a glock or beretta. the rifle she has is an Ar-15. Hope it cleared some stuff up!**

 **Ryane: I know! The next chapter is centred on the Beth storyline. Haha Pol was a scientist remember, so she can smell Eugene's bullshit about the cure etc. Yeah, even though she doesn't trust Eugene, the hope of finding something better outweighs her mistrust especially if it's benefit the group.**

 **Purplepecky: Ahh no problem! Oh didn't you read my A/N from ages ago? I'm carrying it on into season 7, 8 and 9 because I have some plans! So fear not I'm not ending it yet..**

 **Nitro zeus: Hey, so I write these chapters as I'm going along so I'll keep that in mind. Send me a review to remind me of the weapons and I'll incorporate that in. Oh I have plans for Pol when Negan comes don't worry, I think you guys will be shocked...**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags.**

"Bob!" I called out looking around the perimeter. I was supposed to take over from him but he was nowhere to be found.

"Carol? Daryl?" I asked in the dark, a sense of dread creeping in. I saw them leave the church just two minutes ago, where could they have possibly gone?

"Bob!" I shouted, feeling the anxiety through my body.

"What is it?" I felt Michonne catch up to me, scanning the tree-line.

"Something's wrong. Bob went out here about twenty minutes ago. Soon after so did Daryl and Carol, now none of them are here." I couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened to them, that our luck had run its course.

"You don't know that." Michonne gave me a side glance.

"They couldn't have gone far, let's stick together and look." She said, walking off into the path away from the church.

I followed her, pulling out my machete, ready to face whoever the enemy was today. It seemed like the list was never ending, it seemed like we couldn't even enjoy a couple of hours of peace.

...

"Bob!" Sasha whispered from beside me. Once me and Michonne looked, we couldn't find them and had to break the news to Sasha.

"Bob," I called out gently, machete in hand. Sasha pointed the rifle around, trying to find him using the night vision. There was a snap of branches from behind. I snapped my head around putting a finger to my lips. Somebody was there.

"Hey, look at this." I pointed to the tree trunk which had a solid line embedded in it.

"What is it?" Sasha asked.

I don't know, but it looks intentional." I replied, looking uneasily into the dark. It was too quiet.

Suddenly a walker jumped on the butt of her rifle, reaching its hands out for her throat.. I thrusted the machete into the head as it fell to the ground with a clunk.

I felt an arm grab my shoulder as I jumped whirling around to face the attacker.

"It's alright, it's me." I breathed out in relief seeing Rick holding the torch behind me, with Tyreese next to him.

"You okay?" Rick asked as I nodded.

"Tyreese," Sasha breathed heavily.

"He's getting away." she exclaimed.

"Who?" Tyreese asked.

"Somebody was watching us, we have to go in there." I looked between the two men.

"If we go in there now, some of us aren't coming back." Tyreese gave us a firm look.

"Bob is out there. Scared, alone." Sasha looked worried. My heart gave out to her, if Rick went missing like that I'd be just as panicked. Even worse.

"Not alone, Daryl and Carol are missing, too." Rick shone the torch into the treeline.

"When I came out here I didn't see a trace of any of them." My eyes darted in the darkness, trying to see beyond the thick growth of trees.

"It's Gabriel." Sasha's lips were set in a thin line.

"We don't know that for sure." I offered causing Sasha to glare at me.

"Come on, let's get inside and find out." Rick said, placing a hand on my back.

We walked out of the forest in the dark and onto the path that led back to the church. Sasha marched ahead, swinging the creaky wooden doors open and going straight over to Father Gabriel.

"Do you think he would do it?" I whispered to Rick as we stood back.

"He's not incapable of it." Rick replied.

"Stop. What are you doing?" Sasha narrowed her eyes at him.

"This is all connected. You show up, we're being watched, and now three of us are gone." She accused.

"I-I don't.. I don't have anything to do with this." Father Gabriel stuttered.

Sasha took out her knife as I ran forward, but Rick's arm pulled me back. I turned around giving him a glare, but he shook his head.

"She won't do anything." Rick said lowly, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Don't!" Rosita shouted.

"Sasha, put it away." Tyreese called out.

"I-I don't have anything to do with this." Father Gabriel backed away, putting his hands up.

"Where are our people?!" She screamed.

"Please I don't have anything to do with this." His voice wavered.

Rick walked over from the wall of the church, pulling Sasha away from the priest and behind him.

"Why'd you bring us here?" He asked in a calm voice.

"You workin' with someone?"

"I'm alone, I'm alone. I was always alone." Gabriel stepped back as Rick moved closer.

"What about the woman at the food bank Gabriel? What did you do to her?" He questioned.

I watched from against the wall. And this was why Rick was our leader, he didn't miss a beat. I had completely forgotten about her, the way Gabriel panicked and recognised her when she lunged for us.

"You'll burn for this? Why, what did you do Gabriel?" Rick asked.

"What? What did you do?" He grabbed the front of his clothes and pushed him against the table.

I came up from against the wall and walked over to where Rick was, just in case he did anything brash.

"What did you do?" Rick shouted, releasing his clothes. Gabriel looked towards me helplessly, I just shrugged. Rick followed his line of sight.

"You better answer me Gabriel, because whatever you did put Pol in danger. And I don't take too kindly to that." Rick said in a menacing voice.

Gabriel looked over to me whimpering as I stepped forward and stood beside Rick, my arms folded across my chest.

"You should answer him." I said firmly nodding.

"I lock the doors at night. I always-" Gabriel burst into tears.

"My congregation started coming. Atlanta was bombed and they got scared, they were looking for a safe place. It was early, so early. And the doors were still locked. You see, it was my choice. There were so many of them and they were trying to pry the shutters, banging on the signs and screaming at me." Gabriel shuddered.

"And so the dead came for them. Women, children. Entire families calling my name as they were torn apart. Begging me for mercy, begging. Damning me to hell. And I buried their bones, buried it all." Gabriel finally cried.

I felt a pang of sympathy for the man. He clearly carried the guilt with him for so long, and we had all done things we regretted in the name of the apocalypse and keeping our secrets. A dark look crossed my face, remembering Shane and Otis.

"The lord sent you here to punish me. I'm damned." Gabriel broke down on the ground, crying and shaking.

I glanced at Rick, his expression was completely unreadable. I don't know about him, but I believed him, there was no way that he was faking that level of emotion. And I honestly felt sorry for him.

I was sitting beside Rick on the row of chairs in the church, he sat in silence beside me holding Judith in his arms. His blue eyes looked up at me.

"What do you think?" He asked, glancing towards where Gabriel was holed up in the corner.

"I believe him. We've all done things that we're not proud of. I shot Otis, left him for dead." I looked at him.

"I killed Shane." Rick said.

"I know you wanna trust him. I do too, but I can't until we get Carol, Daryl and Bob back." Rick said lowly making sure no one could hear.

"What happened to you out there Rick?" I touched his shoulder, looking back at Carl.

"Whatever it was, has left you scarred. And I wish you would trust me with it-"

"Carl was almost raped." Rick whispered.

My blood ran cold and a look of shock crossed my face. With the dead walking the earth, it was hard to forget there were still monsters like this out there.

"W-what?" I stuttered.

"I dropped my guard. The guys Daryl was hanging out with, called themselves claimers. One of them tried to hurt Carl, so I lost it." Rick explained quietly, handing Judith off to Maggie who took her.

"Did Daryl know what they were like?" Rick shook his head.

"I'm so sorry. No parent should have to watch that." I held his hand.

"It didn't happen. I, bit the guy's neck." Rick said admittedly, as I resisted the urge for my jaw to drop.

"Are you alright?" I asked after letting it sink in for a few moments, as Rick chuckled incredulously.

"I tell you I tore a man's neck out with my teeth, and you ask if I'm okay? Aren't you 'fraid of me?" Rick asked.

I shook my head in response.

"As I said, we've all done things, terrible things to stay alive. And protect the ones we love." I gestured to Carl.

"Thank you." Rick placed a hand on my cheek.

"For what?"

"For not judging me." He stroked my cheek.

"You did it to protect your kid." I put my hand over his.

"And it explains Carl's behaviour." I looked over at the boy sitting a few rows behind us.

"Hey, there's something lying on the ground outside." Glenn called out from the window.

Sasha ran outside the church before anyone could stop her. We ran out, following her quickly and were shocked by the sight.

"Bob!" Sasha called out.

Bob was lying on the grass, seemingly unconscious and to our horror missing half of one of his legs. He looked beaten up badly, I bent over Bob's body with Sasha and checked his vitals.

"Okay, I feel a pulse." I called out, placing a hand on Sasha's shoulder.

We looked up towards the trees were growling and snarling sounds were getting louder. Perfect timing, I thought sarcastically.

"Get Bob inside we'll take care of them." Glenn instructed, hitting the walkers with his rifle. The others sprung into action, protecting us in a circle from any walkers trying to get through.

"Can you help me? Help me please!" Sasha cried as I grabbed one of Bob's arms and swung it over my shoulder.

"Tara take the other side." I instructed the frightened woman who took Bob's other arm.

We lifted the stump of his bandaged leg and carried him towards the church door, more walkers approaching. The sound of gunshots started echoing out as more walkers appeared. We carried him through the door as Rick entered afterwards closing the door.

I checked his forehead as the rest of the group sat around Bob, waiting for when he would come into consiousness.

"He's burning up, he's got a raging fever. Cold sweats and shakiness." I bent down my head to his chest, his heart was beating erratically. He was showing similar symptoms for a man who was about to turn.

"He's alive." I smiled reassuringly at Sasha who was sick with worry.

...

Bob woke up half an hour later, dazed and anxious but once he was calm. He told us the whole story.

"I was in the graveyard. Somebody knocked me out. I woke up outside this place, it looked like a school. It was that guy, Gareth and give other ones. They were eating my leg right in front of me." Bob said in a shaky voice.

"These the guys from Terminus?" I looked at the group as Glenn nodded solemnly.

"Like it was nothing. All proud like they had it figured out." Bob spat out.

"Did they have Daryl and Carol?" Rick bent down in front of him as Bob shook his head, groaning in pain.

"Alright we can question him later." I helped Bob, sit up.

"He's my patient and he needs rest." I gave Rick a firm a look who nodded.

"Do we have anything for the pain?" Sasha asked.

"We had pill packets in the first aid kid." Rosita piped in.

"No, save 'em." Bob shook his head, shrugging us off.

"Don't be so damn stubborn." I scolded him.

"No, seriously." Bob lifted the sleeve of his shirt to show a large bit into his shoulder.

I sat on my knees in front of Bob, speechless. Another one of us bit, another one of us had to die. I inspected his arm and shoulder, wondering if there was any way we could amputate. But it was on his collar bone, any surgery would kill him. Not to mention we didn't really have a surgeon, I only had basic medical training.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, feeling the tears spring to my eyes.

Bob looked up at Sasha with wide eyes. I moved away to give them some privacy, giving Rick a sad look. I looked around the group at the church, everyone had sad faces.

"There's a sofa in my office. I know it's not much." Gabriel offered.

"Thank you." Sasha said in a shaky voice, as they lifted Bob away.

"Do you know the place he means?" Rick stood up asking the priest.

"It's an elementary school, it's close." Father Gabriel replied.

"How close?" I asked.

"10 minute walk through the woods, south of the graveyard." He answered.

"Tell me you're not thinking, what I think you are?" I pulled Rick away to the rest of the group.

"How is he?" he asked.

"He's got a fever, there's no telling when he'll turn." I stated.

"Time for a reality check. We all need to leave for DC. Right now." Abraham announced from the door.

"Carol and Daryl aren't back yet, we aren't going anywhere them." Rick said with a voice of authority.

"I respect that, but there's a clear threat here to Eugene, I need to extract his ass 'fore things get uglier. And if y'all won't come, good luck to you we'll go our separate ways." Abraham said with an air of finality.

Abraham walked towards the door, Rosita reluctantly following behind them.

"You leavin' on foot?" Rick asked.

"We fixed that damn bus ourselves." Abraham said frustrated.

"You planning to make it with just the three of you? When there's a chance that there's nothing there?" I challenged.

"We've lasted this far." Abraham scoffed.

"Carol saved your life. We're not going anywhere without our people." Rick walked over to the military man.

"Your people took off." Abraham said lowly.

"They're comin' back." Rick said angrily.

"To what, picked-over bones?!" Abraham shouted.

"You're not taking-"

"Do not lay hands!" Rick and Abraham's voices overlapped as they began shoving each other harshly.

"Hey!" I pushed Abraham away from Rick as Glenn also intervened.

"Stop now!" Glenn shouted.

"Do you really think you're gonna be any safer, leaving right now in the middle of the night?" Glenn turned to the ginger haired man.

"What about tomorrow? We need each other for this. To get to DC, we can get through all of it together." Glenn urged him.

"I have an idea." Tara stepped forward.

"If you help us with this, I'll go with you to DC tomorrow. No matter what." I looked in surprise at Tara as Glenn looked sadly at her.

"Glenn and Maggie too." Abraham demanded.

"No." Rick said firmly.

"Good luck, then. I'm not interested in breaking up what you have here. Rosita get your stuff." Abraham ordered.

"Eugene. Now." Abraham said in a low voice.

The three of them walked towards the door as we looked on helplessly. If they stayed we had a much greater chance of finding Carol and Daryl, but if they took the bus we would be stranded without an escape route.

"You're not takin' that bus." Rick emphasised as Abraham turned round, challenging him.

"Try and stop me."

Rick marched forward rearing his fist back into a punch as I stopped him, placing my hands on his chest.

"Hey, hey. Rick, no." I gently pushed him back, forcing him to look at me.

"You stay and help us, and we will go with you." Glenn said calmly.

"No." Rick growled making a move to step forward. I pushed him, giving him a firm like.

"It's not your call." Glenn put a hand out to him.

"You stay, help us." Glenn said as Abraham relented.

"Half a day. Come high noon, it's damn tail lights."

...

"You can't stop it Rick, it's up to them." I watched the man pace back and forth frustrated.

"They're our family, you're willin' to let them go?" Rick asked incredulously.

"Hey, don't mistake my calmness for acceptance." I said annoyed, causing him to stop pacing.

"I love them, I don't want them to go. But we're already losing Bob, we wanna get Carol and Daryl back alive. You got a plan sheriff?" I asked.

We re-joined the others who were sitting in silence, mulling over the events of the day as Rick finished telling us his plan.

"They think they're in control. But we know exactly where they are." Rick said.

"Make our move before they do." Glenn nodded.

"I wanna go." Sasha entered the room.

"You should stay with Bob." Tyreese said.

"No, I need to be out there." Sasha said firmly.

...

Me, Rick, Michonne, Sasha, Glenn, Maggie and Tara set off to find Gareth and the others, leaving Tyreese with Abraham, Rosita, Eugene, Gabriel, Bob and the kids. My mind still wandered over to Carol and Daryl, I was half hoping we would find them. But the other half of me hoped they were nowhere near those monsters.

We walked in silence, in the dead of night. Our trap laid out in the church. We walked just beyond the tree-line into the woods, waiting for the bait to take.

"Carl will be okay." I whispered to Rick as his eyes darting to the door of the church.

"He can handle himself." Rick nodded.

"You sure they saw us walk out?" Glenn asked as I nodded.

"They're not as stealthy as they think they are." I said quietly, gesturing towards the path.

From the shadows, they emerged armed with their rifles and walked into the dark church, where we had laid the trap.

"Like clockwork." Rick said lowly.

I hoped they were safe inside that church, hiding in the shadows. We had the element of surprise at least, but it was a helluva risk leaving them there where they were vulnerable.

"Alright now." Rick gestured.

We entered through the back way of the church, there was a hidden passage that Gareth and his men failed to check. We kept our footsteps light and our guns out, ready to face them.

We were in the main hall of the church. The light coming from the window illuminated three figures all pointing their rifles towards the office where Carl was.

"We'll hit the hinges." One of the men said lowly.

Rick nodded to me. I lifted up the rifle and breathed deeply, aiming for their heads I squeezed the trigger killing the two men standing around the door as their bodies hit the floor.

"Put your guns on the floor." Rick's voice rang out.

"Rick we'll fire right into that office, you lower your-" The man spoke again.

A gesture from Rick to Glenn who used the rifle to fire two more bullets, one into the guys arm as he whimpered in pain.

Rick emerged from the shadows with his colt out in front of him.

"Put your guns on the floor and kneel." He ordered again.

There was another man in a hoodie beside Gareth, who looked familiar. My eyes widened in horror. It was Martin. I thought he was dead from the way Tyreese had beaten into him, the son of a bitch was still alive.

"Do what he says." Gareth hissed through pain. A woman lowered her rifle to the ground as I kept my gun trained on her.

"Martin there's no choice here." Gareth urged him.

"Yeah there is." Martin shrugged cockily.

"Wanna bet?" I growled emerging from the left side and pointing my rifle up at him. Martin reluctantly lowered his weapon, kneeling down on the ground.

"Nice to see ya again darlin'." He smirked at me.

"You're askin' for it." I smashed the butt of my rifle into his nose, hearing a loud crack. There was blood gushing from his nose as he held his face in pain, looking up at me incredulously. Like he couldn't believe I would do that to him.

Sasha, Michonne also came towards the men, along with Abraham we each had a gun on each of the people, making sure they couldn't run. This wasn't an interrogation, it was an execution.

"No point in begging right?" Gareth asked Rick.

"No."

"Still you could've killed us when we came in. There had to be a reason for that." Gareth pleaded.

"We didn't wanna waste the bullet." Rick said nonchalantly.

"We used to help people. Things changed when they came in. After that- I know you've been out there but I can see it. You don't know what it is to be hungry. You don't have to see this, we can walk away. And we will never have to cross paths again, I promise you." Gareth pleaded.

"But you'll cross someone's path. You'd do this to anyone, right? Besides, I already made you a promise." Rick unsheathed the machete and sliced the side of his head.

I shot the side of Martin's leg who groaned in pain. Pure violence broke out, as each of us destroyed the person we were guarding. Sasha repeatedly slashed her knife into Martin's head. We stopped as the screaming stopped, the insides of the men smeared inside the church.

A realisation settled over him, as I saw what we had done. Sure they deserved it, but what had we become. I gulped in horror, fighting the urge to vomit.

"It could've been us," Rick touched the inside of my wrist as I nodded numbly.

"Yeah." I said distantly, walking away from the bodies.

...

We were all gathered in Father Gabriel's office, taking turns to say goodbye to Bob who was on his deathbed. Maggie grabbed his hands and kissed it, covering him with the blanket. It was dawn now, which meant Maggie and Glenn would be leaving us. The rest of group left the room.

"No don't. Let her stay, I trust her." Bob gestured to Judith whom Rick was handing off to Carl. Sasha got up from his bedside.

"I'm right outside." She promised kissing him.

"Pol, you too." Bob called out as I turned back round to stand with Rick.

"I wanna thank you." Bob said.

"For what?"

"Before the prison, I didn't know if there were any good people left. I didn't know if there was anybody left. 'cause you took people in. It was you man." Bob pointed to him, as Rick smiled.

"What I said yesterday. I ain't revisin' it, even in light of current events. Nightmares end. They shouldn't end who you are. And that is just this dead man's opinion." Bob finished.

"I'll take it." Rick nodded with a glint in his eyes, as Bob chuckled.

"And you." Bob turned to him.

"This one's a good one, but sometimes you're gonna have to set him on the straight and narrow. You can talk sense into him when he needs it." Bob said as I smiled down at him then back to Rick.

"I promise." I grasped Bob's hands placing a kiss on them.

"Just look at her," Bob smiled at Judith.

"An' tell me the world isn't gonna change." Bob held out his hand as Rick grabbed it, kissing Judith's head.

I wrapped my arms around Rick's shoulders, placing a kiss there.

"You're a family. Take care of each other." Bob smiled at us.

"We'll send Sasha in."

...

We had buried Bob behind the church, the truck was ready to go as were Maggie and Glenn. Abraham showed us the map to DC, urging us to be there for it.

"We will." Rick nodded to him.

"Come here pizza boy." I tackled Glenn into a hug, my tears staining his shirt.

"I can't believe you're leaving us." I whispered as Glenn wrapped his arms around.

"Hey, that's not fair." Glenn replied as I nodded.

"I'm sorry." I pulled apart giving him a teary smile.

"Take care of yourself. And this beautiful woman." Maggie smiled at me bending down to give me a hug.

"We'll be there." I said reassuringly, as they climbed into the trunk.

Abraham, Rosita, Glenn, Maggie and Eugene all sat inside looking at us through the window.

"I look forward to gettin' to know you. Remember what I said." Rosita winked at me, causing me to laugh.

"See you soon." I held Maggie's hand as Abraham gave us a nod, driving off in the truck.

Rick unfolded the map Abraham had given him, a clear route mapped to Washington DC with a long journey ahead of him. On one side was a note:

SORRY I WAS AN ASSHOLE. THE NEW WORLD'S GONNA NEED RICK GRIMES.

Rick chuckled at note as I scoffed.

"And here I was thinking I could get you all to myself." I groaned as Rick wrapped an arm around me, pressing a kiss to my hair.

"Bob's right you know." Rick said, looking at Tyreese who was digging graves.

"I do need you. Because right now, I feel no remorse for them." Rick looked at the wrapped up bodies beside Tyreese.

"They tried to eat you." I turned round to face him.

"So no I wouldn't expect you to." I defended.

"But I should." Rick looked at the ground, then straight back ahead.

"I'm gonna go help him." Rick let go of my hand, walking off towards Tyreese.

The things we did in the name of survival.

 **A/N: Hope y'all enjoyed that!**

 **A/N: Hope you guys liked that one! Until next time.**


	47. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**A/N: Hey guys, so you already know that I haven't updated in a while and it's because I've been really busy. Also I'm having trouble keeping up with writing two fanfictions on top of everything else. Just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be going on hiatus for a couple months. A few reasons for this, one is what I said above and the second being the quality of writing in this ff is suffering because I'm putting more effort into the other one. And I'd rather produce two quality stories even if it takes longer than a half assed one. So this is not the end, I won't stop until I've written Pol's story! But it's goodbye for now.**

 **\- Angels and Douchebags**


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